Coming Full Circle
by toooldforthis
Summary: What if Bella realized she loved Jacob enough? Jacob is injured in the battle with the newborns. Bella now knows she loves him, but not enough to leave Edward. Or is it? Who will she choose, and what will the Volturi do? MATURE THEMES,LEMONS! POST-ECLIPSE
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER ONE**

_**The morning sunlight poured through my bedroom window. I awoke to a familiar caress. Strong hands were stroking down my arms and rested firmly on my hips. He nuzzled against my neck and his tongue slowly glided up to my ear sending shivers down my spine. I smiled. I knew where this was going.**_

_**I turned to face the most exotic creature in the world. His beautiful eyes filled with love and lust were burning holes into my soul. My hands instinctively reached up to explore his shirtless body. His chest and abs were so hard and strong, like a Greek god. Every time I woke up to this gorgeous man in my bed, I wondered how anyone so beautiful could want me. I needed to show him how he made me feel. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his lips to mine.**_

_**We didn't know how much time alone we would have. The sense of urgency electrified the room. He kissed me with passion and abandon. It was times like this that I hated the fact that I wore pajamas to bed, even if they were just a pair of his boxers and a flimsy tank top. Right now there was way too much clothing keeping me from the feel of his skin on mine. As if reading my mind, he slowly lifted my shirt up past my breasts and placed gentle kisses on them. I felt his teeth nip and tug at my nipples causing me to throw my head back in ecstasy. Encouraged by my reaction, he cupped my breasts in his massive hands and kneaded them. My skin was on fire. He began to devour my mouth as his right hand started tracing a line down my body towards my warm center. He grazed my mound and my hips bucked up to meet his hand. It had become painfully obvious how much I wanted him, how much I needed him.**_

_**Just then I heard a noise in the other room and knew our little stolen moment was over. I looked my husband in the eyes and said, "Jake, looks like we'll have to take a rain check. The kids are awake."**_

**I woke up with a start. What was that? Edward's arms pulled me so that my back was placed firmly against his cold chest. I knew I was blushing uncontrollably. I squirmed against Edward's embrace hoping he couldn't sense my obvious arousal. "Bella, are you alright? Do you want to talk about last night?" Last night…the night I spent hours and hours crying in his arms over another man. **

**Just last night I told Jacob that I was in love with him. I was in love with him but it wasn't enough. He was still injured and recovering from the battle with the newborns. And wonderful, selfless me, decides that that was the best time to finish him off. I just had to break his heart on top of everything else he was going through. But, if loving Jacob wasn't enough, then why was I dreaming about a future with him?**

**Edward was staring intently at me as I realized I hadn't answered his question. "No, Edward. I'm fine. I just had a bad dream."**

"**Really, from what I could tell it didn't seem like a nightmare."**

**Oh God! What did I say in my sleep? What must he be thinking? If it was possible I turned a brighter shade of red.**

"**Edward, I just had a rough night. What's done is done and I'm ready to move on and not think about it anymore."**

"**Okay Bella. Well, you've been sleeping for quite a while. Charlie already left for the day. Would the human like some breakfast?" As if on queue, my stomach started growling. "Yes, Edward. Thank you."**

**I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash up while Edward made me breakfast. I looked in the mirror and hat to admit that I was a mess. My eyes were red and swollen from crying all night. There were dark circles under my eyes due to my lack of sleep. I was pale and wan. I needed a moment to collect my thoughts. I had been going through an emotional roller coaster for weeks. Living in fear of Victoria had taken a toll on my body. I had lost weight and become frail from the stress. **

**Edward was a constant source of love and support through it all. He wanted to marry me. And, he was willing to fulfill my wish of making love to me on our honeymoon, before he changed me. A part of me was on cloud nine at the prospect of eternity with Edward. That is, of course, until I realized there was a complication. I was in love with Jacob. **

**Jacob Black, my best friend, my sunshine in the darkness. I was in love with him. It was different from the way I loved Edward, but that didn't change the fact that the feelings were still there. I tried so long and so hard to deny it, but just like Sleeping Beauty, a kiss woke me up. Unfortunately, I woke up to a nightmare. Yes, I was in love with Jacob, but I was in love with Edward too. Hell, I was engaged to Edward. I already promised him my life and soul for eternity. Jacob was my sun, but Edward was my world.**

**I told Jacob all this and he said he understood. He said he could let me go. I cried all night over him, knowing that I was breaking his heart and a part of mine. But, I also knew that a clean break was better than leading him on.**

**But, why was I dreaming about him? Why did Jacob's caress feel so natural and familiar? Why were his burning eyes so intoxicating? Why was I wet just from the memory? Oh God, pull it together Bella!**

**The smell of cooked bacon brought me out of my reverie. I assessed my appearance in the mirror and thought that some peace and rest would do me a lot of good. I realized that I needed to be alone. I needed to figure out how I would accomplish that. I walked downstairs to the kitchen where Edward had laid out some bacon and eggs for me. I kissed him on the cheek and thanked him before sitting down. He replied, "Anything for you, love."**

**Edward stared at me while I ate. For the first time in a long while the silence was awkward between us. I knew he wanted to ask me about Jacob. I really didn't want to talk about what he may or may not have heard me say in my sleep. But, I certainly wasn't prepared for what he asked me. "Bella, I was wondering when we should tell everyone about the engagement? And, of course, when you would like to start wearing your ring?" Edward held out the beautiful gold and diamond ring with the sweetest smile on his face. He was so happy when I said yes to his proposal. But, I thought about what that ring represented, what it truly meant. I freaked. "Edward, I'm not…I don't know…I just…Oh God!"**

**I ran upstairs to my room and threw myself on the bed. I just sat there with my head in my hands. What have I done? What was wrong with me? Why after being so sure for so long, was I now having doubts?**

"**Bella, what's wrong? Is this about Jacob? Bella, I asked you last night if you thought you made the right decision. Bella, if it's him that you want, I won't stand in your way. I love you."**

**The look on his face broke my already shattered heart into tiny fragments. I was hurting him with my doubts. "Edward, I know I made the right decision. I love you. You are my life. I'm just really confused. With everything that's gone on over the past year, I'm surprised I know what's up and what's down. I mean, you left Edward. And I went through hell without you." At that, Edward looked as though I had just plunged a dagger in his heart. But he encouraged me to continue. "Then I found Jacob and he became this huge part of my life. He put the shattered pieces back together. He was the best friend I've never had. If it weren't for Jacob fixing me, I don't know what you would have found when you came home. But, then you came back. The impossible happened, and I forgot everything I went through, I forgot Jacob. I had you and that was all that mattered."**

"**Edward, I built my whole life around you and you left me. Jacob built his life around me and I left him. It was wrong. I'm wrong. I'm confused about who I am, what kind of person I've become."**

"**Bella, you're the most selfless, caring, and beautiful person I've met in a hundred years. If I have another hundred years to live, I wouldn't meet anyone else like you." I was blushing like crazy. "Tell me what you need from me Bella."**

"**Oh Edward, I can't believe I'm saying this. I need some time, some space to sort through all of this. I'm only 18 years old and it just feels like everything is going too fast."**

**Edward crouched on his knees so quickly I didn't even see him move. We were at eye level now and I could see the effect my words had on him. If a vampire could cry, his eyes would be wet with tears. "Bella, have I in any way pressured you into anything? I want to marry you, you know that. Do you want out of our arrangement? I'll do whatever you want. I just want you to be happy with me."**

"**Edward, this isn't about you, and it's not about us. I just need some time for myself to think about what I'm doing and the kind of person I want to be."**

**Edward was speechless. He looked as confused as I felt. I could tell I was hurting him, but I was hurting myself more by trying to spare his feelings. "I'm sorry to spring this on you, but I think that I should spend a couple of weeks with Renee in Florida. Let's face it once I'm changed I'm going to have to cut her out of my life. I guess I haven't really thought everything through. I might as well spend some alone time with her while I get myself together, right?"**

**Edward took my hands in his and said, "Bella, whatever you need to do, do it. I love you. I'll be right here waiting." He gave me a reassuring nod to emphasize the truth of his words. What did I do to deserve this wonderful man? "Bella, may I ask when you are planning on leaving?"**

**Huh, I hadn't even thought about that. I suppose the sooner the better. I need to get out of this town, out of this self-imposed chaos. "Well, I guess I'd like to leave tomorrow actually. That is, if I can get a flight."**

**Edward seemed startled by my response but he still managed to flash me that crooked grin that always made me melt. "Well, Bella, that doesn't leave me with much time to give you a proper goodbye." At that, Edward leaned in and kissed me so fiercely and passionately that I forgot why I wanted to leave in the first place.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight related.**

**Chapter Two**

Edward and I had been locked in an intense make-out session for hours. I couldn't believe that I was the one to pull away first. I felt that it was important to maintain our physical boundaries, now more than ever. I was vulnerable and filled with doubts. I didn't want things to go too far when I knew I wasn't ready. Not to mention the fact that I had a lot of planning and packing to do for my stay in Florida. So, Edward stayed with me all day and helped me make my flight arrangements. I called Renee and she was ecstatic to have me all to herself for the next couple of weeks. I had also called Charlie at work thinking he'd be difficult about my plans. Surprisingly, he was thrilled with the idea. I think he was just happy that I'd be away from Edward for a while.

I had just put Charlie's lasagna in the oven and came back to my bedroom. Edward was draped along my bed leaning on his elbow going through my cds. I couldn't help but smile.

"Edward, what are you doing?"

"I'm helping you pick out some music. You know, every successful journey should be accompanied by a great soundtrack."

He was being so thoughtful, as usual. But, that made me realize that we had some other boundaries to discuss. "Edward, I need you to promise me something."

"Anything, my love."

I sat down next to him on the bed. I think the look on my face betrayed the anxiety I was feeling, because Edward reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze. He seemed to know that what I had to ask of him would be difficult. I just didn't know if it was more difficult for me to ask it of him, or for him to comply with my request.

"Edward, I need you to promise me that you'll give me my space. I know you. I know how protective you are of me. But, I survived 17 years without you and I think I can make it a couple of weeks on my own." There, I said it.

"Bella, I had no intention of following you. You said that you needed some time alone. Don't you trust me to honor your request?" He was hurt. He really seemed offended by what I said. But, I wasn't going to back down that easily.

"Edward, you may not have any intention to follow me, but I think we both know that it wouldn't take much to change your mind. If Alice has a vision that I scrape my knee, or get a hangnail, you'll be on the next plane trying to save the damsel in distress." He opened his mouth to protest, but I cut him short. "Don't even give me that look Edward. You know you would." He gave me an incredulous look, then lowered his eyes and gave me his wicked grin. I squeezed his hand back gently. "I'm asking you to have some faith in me that I can take care of myself and that I don't need you watching over my shoulder, or doing anything _for my own good_."

"Hmm. I'm really starting to like this assertive new Bella. She's kind of sexy."

Edward's hand left mine and he reached up and cupped my now crimson cheek. He leaned in and placed feather light kisses along my jaw and down my neck. "Bella, I promise to respect your wishes. But, just know that I'm only a phone call away." I smiled warmly at him and said, "Thank you, Edward. I love you."

"Bella, I love you too. You know I would do anything for you and that I support you in anything you want to do."

"I know that, but it's nice to hear you say it sometimes. Because, Edward, I really need to see Jake before I leave and I need you to be okay with that."

Edward tensed immediately. "Bella, I don't think that's such a great idea."

"I know you don't Edward. But, the fact remains that I think it's a good idea. He's my best friend. Regardless of where we may stand right now, he needs to know that I'm going away for awhile. I don't want him to worry when he doesn't hear from me."

"Bella, love, why would he have to worry?"

"Edward, are you serious? I'm just supposed to leave for a few weeks, mysteriously, and let him jump to conclusions? He's going to think I ran off to get changed. He'll panic and have The Pack fighting to the death with your family by the end of the week!"

"Okay, I guess you have a point. But, why can't you just call him?"

"Edward, I think that would be too impersonal." I paused and started frowning. "Besides, I don't think Jake, or Billy for that matter, would take my call."

Edward stiffened slightly. I looked at him questioningly until I realized that he must have heard Charlie coming home. The next moment I heard Charlie come through the door saying, "Bells, I'm home. Dinner smells great."

Edward left while Charlie and I ate. He still wasn't thrilled about me seeing Jacob, but his mood brightened when I told him he could drive me to the airport in the morning. He gave me a sweet kiss when he left and told me he'd be back tonight once Charlie was asleep.

Once we finished eating, Charlie went into the living room to watch TV. I cleaned up all the dishes and told Charlie that I was leaving to visit with Jacob. He just grinned at me and told me to be back at a decent hour. He was so accommodating when it came to Jacob. It would be funny if it weren't so annoying and biased.

I drove to La Push as fast as my ancient truck would take me. It was nearing sunset when I pulled into the familiar gravel driveway. The lights were all out in the house. I got out of the truck and walked up to the front door. I knocked and waited, but no one was home. I walked around the house to check the garage but that was empty as well.

On a hunch, I took the path down to First Beach. I walked along the shore until I saw the infamous driftwood stump in the sand. This was the place where so much had happened between Jake and me. And that's where I found him standing with his back to me gazing at the sunset over the water.

"What are you doing here Bella?"

I stopped in my tracks. Jacob hadn't moved. He was still staring out at the crashing waves with his hair loose and blowing in the wind. The fact that he called me Bella and not his usual Bells was not lost on me. "Jake, how did you know it was me?" He finally turned to me with a grin on his face that didn't quite reach his eyes and replied, "Werewolf, remember?"

I gave him a tentative smile. Jacob turned his attention back to the sunset. This situation was beyond awkward. The last time we saw each other I told him we couldn't be together. I took a moment to take in his appearance. He was wearing a tight black t-shirt that hugged his muscular torso. He had on a pair of dark jeans and was barefoot. It was then that I realized he didn't have his cast on and there was almost no indication that he had been almost near death just a few days ago. I couldn't help but think out loud, "Jake, you're all healed!" He just looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"Oh! Werewolf, right."

"Why did you come here? I think you made yourself perfectly clear the other night. You love me, but you love him more. I'm not confused about where we stand. So, if you're here to explain it all again, don't bother. I think I got it the first time."

Jake had that sad, bitter face that reminded me so much of Sam. The face that didn't belong to the sweet fun loving Jacob I first met here. The Jacob I knew before vampires and werewolves existed. My sweet happy Jacob was nowhere to be seen. He was hurting and there was nothing I could do to fix it.

"Jake, I just came by to let you know that I'm taking off for a couple of weeks." He turned around to face me so quickly it was as if he had vampire speed. He took a few steps towards me and I could see that he was shaking all over. His fists were clenched at his side and his eyes were filled with fury. "What are you saying Bella?" I knew what he was thinking and I knew his control was quickly slipping away. I knew I needed to soothe him before this whole situation got out of hand so I closed the gap between us and threw my arms around his waist.

"Aw, Jake, it's not what you think. My life has been so crazy lately that I feel like I need some time to sort things out. I'm going to visit my mom in Florida. I'm going alone." I felt Jake begin to relax in my grasp, but I didn't want to pull myself away from him just yet. I held him tighter and rested my head on his chest. Jake loosened up completely and brought his arms around me. He pulled me tight into one of his signature bear hugs and kissed me on the top of my head.

"I'm sorry honey. I got scared. I overreacted. I know you already made your choice. And I know I have no right to say anything. But it's still so hard for me to accept that becoming a _lee…_vampire is what you truly want."

"Jake, I don't want to talk about any of that right now. I just wanted to say good-bye to my best friend."

"You know, Bells, they have these neat new contraptions called phones. I hear they really help with the whole _talking_ thing." I looked him in the eyes and saw that My Jacob was back. He was grinning from ear to ear.

"Well, gosh Jake, thank you so much for that information." I slapped him playfully on his arm. "But, honestly, I didn't think you'd take my call so I figured I'd come in person."

"Oh," he replied. He seemed to think about what I just said for a while. We were quiet for some time. It hadn't escaped my notice that we were still locked in a tight embrace. I rested my head on his chest again and stared out onto the ocean.

The sun was just about to dip under the horizon. It was beautiful. I felt so warm in Jacob's arms, despite the cold ocean breeze. I thought back to those short months when La Push and Jacob were the biggest things in my life. In many ways, La Push and First Beach, in particular, really felt like home. Here, in Jacob's arms I was home.

I was caught up in the moment. As if another person was speaking through me, I looked up at Jacob and said, "Kiss me, Jacob."

Oh God! What did I just say? A part of me panicked. I'm playing games with him. I really am a horrible person. But, I also knew deep down that at this moment, there was nothing I wanted more than to kiss Jacob and have him kiss me back.

Jacob met my glance with intensity in his eyes. I could see the desire and uncertainty he was feeling. But, I also saw the pain. I was tearing him apart. If it weren't for the way he was looking at me I would've thought he hadn't heard me. Whatever conflict was playing out in Jacob's mind, he seemed to have resolved it because he brought one hand up to my chin and lifted my face to his. His other hand slid towards my lower back where his burning fingers found the exposed flesh between the bottom of my shirt and the top of my jeans. He was pulling me closer so that our bodies were pressed firmly to each other. He bent towards me arching me backwards to meet him. His mouth was inches from mine and it felt as though my eyes glazed over with desire. Jacob whispered, "I love you Bells."

And then Jacob kissed me. He filled the kiss with all of his love, passion, and dying hope. He filled it with his sadness and despair. The feelings he conveyed through that kiss were overwhelming. He loved me. No, he was _in_ love with me. This kiss made me feel like I truly was his soul mate and that the fact that I was ultimately rejecting him would leave him lonely forever. He needed me. But, did I need him the same way?

I felt his tongue pressing gently against my lips asking for entrance. I welcomed him gladly and brought my hands up to tangle in his silky hair. I was on fire for him and running out of breath at the same time. Jacob seemed to sense that I needed air and broke are kiss only to start kissing down my neck and nibbling on my ear. His tongue explored up and down my neck until he reached my collarbone. He gently nipped me there and the sensation made my knees buckle. Jake's arms were the only thing keeping me standing. He kissed my lips again, but this time the kiss was sweeter, less urgent. He broke away from our embrace and I could see that there were tears in his eyes. He turned back to face the waves and whispered, "Good-bye Bella." He turned and walked away back to his house leaving me alone on the beach. I whispered "Good-bye, Jake," but he was already gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight. All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**CHAPTER THREE**

Kissing Jacob, that right there, is exactly why I need to get out of Forks. It's like I feel perfectly at home when I'm with Edward. Then, I'm with Jacob and I feel like I never want to leave his side. This isn't normal. One person shouldn't be torn in two like this. It isn't fair to Edward or Jacob. I sat on the sand for what seemed like hours just watching the waves lap up onto the shore. I cried for Jacob. I cried for what I had done to him. He had always been there for me. He was always loving and supportive and I've treated him like second best. I cried for Edward and everything we had before he left; before I was broken. But most of all I cried for the girl I used to be before all this madness. I dreaded the conversation that needed to happen with Edward. I wouldn't lie to him. I couldn't. He needs to know exactly what kind of person he plans on spending eternity with. This is getting out of hand.

When I got home Charlie was already in bed. It was still relatively early but I noticed his fishing gear laid out near the door and figured he'd be setting out first thing in the morning. I decided to get the inevitable over with and trudged upstairs. I knew Edward would be waiting for me in my room by now. Alice would have told him the moment I crossed the boundary leaving La Push.

I opened my bedroom door and closed it quickly behind me. I didn't need the light on to tell me that Edward was waiting for me in my rocking chair but I flipped it on anyway. When our eyes met he gave me a brilliant smile. Quicker than I could think he was standing in front of me leaning down for a kiss. Just as his lips touched mine I turned my head aside. I was so ashamed of my behavior with Jacob. I didn't want to turn around and kiss Edward as if nothing happened.

Edward pulled back immediately and looked at me full of concern. "Bella, what's wrong?"

"Edward I have something to tell…," but before I could finish he interrupted with a growl. "Bella, may I ask why it is that you taste like _dog_? His scent is all over you!"

Oh God! Of course it is. My mind quickly flashed back to the kiss Jacob and I shared just a few hours ago. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. Edward's jaw clenched and I could tell he was holding his breath waiting for my explanation.

"Edward, Jacob and I kissed." I stated it matter-of-factly.

"That's it! I'm going to rearrange that dog's face!"

"Edward, no!" But he was already headed towards my open window. I grabbed him by the sleeve to stop him. I know he could have broken my grip on him easily, but he stopped anyway. I practically hissed the words, "What do you think you're doing?"

Edward took a calming breath and looked at me. "Bella, I know Jacob is important to you, and that you have feelings for him. But, this kissing of my fiancée and getting away with it is getting rather old. Now, I'm going over there to fulfill my promise. I told that mongrel that if he ever kissed you again without your permission that I would break his face. Now, if you'll excuse me love, I'll be back shortly."

"Edward, there's just two things wrong with your plan." He turned around and faced me. He was still seething, but I could tell he was trying to find the flaw in his logic. "First of all, you can't go over there. You'd break the treaty and I think one kiss is a ridiculous reason to sign your own death warrant." Edward seemed to calm down slightly. "Secondly, I asked him to kiss me." I closed my eyes and braced myself for Edward's anger. Two whole minutes passed. I was waiting for the proverbial shit to hit the fan. When nothing happened, I opened my eyes.

Edward had silently moved behind me to sit on my bed. So many emotions crossed his face simultaneously I couldn't keep track. He was angry, confused, and miserable and then he just looked resigned. His shoulders sagged in defeat. "Bella, do you want to be with Jacob?"

My reply was barely audible to anyone who wasn't a vampire, "I don't know." I sat down next to him on the bed. I was so emotionally drained. Edward looked down at his hands which were now folded on his lap. He was actually fidgeting. I had never seen my calm, cool and collected Edward act so…human. I gently placed my hand on his.

"This is exactly why I'm leaving. I have no idea what I want anymore and I don't want to hurt anyone. If you would have asked me what I wanted months ago, you know I would have said you in a heartbeat. There was no doubt in my mind. But, so much has changed since then. And I realize that I haven't really dealt with things properly. When you left I went catatonic. I was a walking, living, breathing shell. It was months before I could even pretend to function. And then Jacob helped me heal. Don't you see? I've spent my whole time here in Forks having people fix me. If it's not you, it's Jacob. I feel like I'm nothing without you. I don't like that feeling. I want to feel like I'm someone apart from you. I'm starting to question why my love for you should render me so reliant and dependent. I want to be able to fix myself."

"Jacob was my best friend, my confidant. I started to care about him deeply. I knew in my heart that it was nothing compared to the way I felt about you. But now I'm not so sure because we got so close. When Alice came back it was like a part of me was resurrected. When she said you were in trouble I dropped everything to save you even though I was convinced you no longer cared for me. I was willing to give up my life to save you and I would do that all again if I had to."

"But, I would change one thing. I'd change how we picked up where we left off as if nothing happened. I'm a different person from the one you met in Biology class. I'm a different person from the one you left alone in the woods that day. And it's about time I started acting like it." Edward was patiently listening to everything I had to say. He flinched at the mention of that fateful day in the woods and I know he was feeling as much pain and confusion as I was.

"I do have feelings for Jacob. They were growing before you came back. And as much as I try to deny it, they've been getting stronger ever since. I only came to the full realization of those feelings before the battle and instead of dealing with them I thought I could just bury them and ignore them. Well, that's clearly not working. I need this time to sort out my feelings before I can fully commit to you; to us. My biggest fear is that if I let things continue on as they are that I'll be a vampire with an eternity of regrets. I love you Edward. I want to be with you without regrets and I just can't do that right now."

"Bella, I don't want you to have any regrets. That's exactly why I fought so hard against changing you in the first place." He tried to hide the anguished look on his face by burying his head in his hands. "I am upset that you kissed Jacob. I'm upset that he has this effect on you. I'm angry that he holds such a large part of your heart. But I'm angrier at myself. I broke so many promises to you. I promised to stay with you as long as you needed me. I lied to you, I left you, and I brought all this on myself. I made you miserable and I'll never forgive myself. I'm such a fool. I've made quite a mess out of everything and you've been too good to me not to blame me for it. I won't lie to you now. If it's him that you want, I'll let you go. I'll be miserable without you, but I'll let you go if it means you'll be happy with him."

Edward stood up still holding my hand. He turned to face me, "Bella, I should go. You probably want to be alone now." I was ashamed to agree with him, but when I didn't say anything it confirmed his assumption. He kissed me on my forehead and walked towards the window. My body was fighting with my heart. My body wanted Edward to stay to comfort me throughout the night. But I knew in my heart that he was right, that I needed to get used to being alone and now was as good a time as any to start. So, instead of stopping him, I kissed him on the cheek and hugged him before telling him good-bye.

I watched him climb gracefully down the tree outside my window. Before he reached the bottom he looked up and said, "Sleep well my love. I'll be back in the morning to take you to the airport. If you decide you need me before then, just call me. I love you."

"I love you too."

As I lay awake tossing and turning, I thought for the first time ever that my love for Edward may not be enough.

**THE NEXT MORNING**

Charlie woke me up at the crack of dawn. He was leaving for his day of fishing and wanted to see me before I left. I promised I'd call and he did the same. He looked a little teary eyed, and I knew I'd miss him as much as he'd miss me. We said our good-byes and hugged and he was on his way. Since I was already awake, I figured I'd get ready. I had just finished showering and getting dressed in comfy jeans and a flannel shirt when I heard a knock at the front door.

I ran down the stairs. In my excitement to reach the front door I missed the last step and fell face first towards the floor. I braced myself for what was bound to be a really painful fall when I felt familiar strong arms wrap around my waist. I opened my eyes and looked up to see Edward crouched next to me with his crooked smile plastered on his face.

"Oh, Bella. What am I going to do with myself while you're gone? You're the only person I know who needs to be saved this much." He chuckled while he helped me to my feet. I replied sheepishly, "I know, Edward. How do you think I feel having to be the one who _needs_ to be saved all the time?" Edward raised his eyebrows and I knew he was thinking about my comment. But, when I didn't elaborate he dropped the matter and followed me into the kitchen. I poured milk into my cereal bowl trying to ignore the tension in the room.

"So, Esme and Carlisle and the rest send you their love. Alice was insisting that she come with us to the airport, but I figured you'd want us to be alone." I smacked my hand to my forehead. "Holy Crow, with everything that's been going on I forgot all about them! I should have gone over there to say good-bye! How could I be so insensitive?"

Edward smiled reassuringly. "Bella, really it's okay. You've been spending plenty of time with my family for the past few weeks. You just saw them all a few days ago. Don't worry about it. We're vampires, love. A few weeks will feel like a few minutes in the long scheme of things."

"Thank you for understanding and for keeping Alice at bay. I love that deranged little pixie, but you're right. I'd rather be alone with you today." I managed a small grin and returned to my breakfast. Edward pulled out two packages from his jacket. I eyed them suspiciously and put down my spoon.

"Edward, what are those?"

"Well, these are gifts." He saw the look of panic on my face and quickly interrupted whatever protest I was about to make. "Now, please don't get upset. These are strictly from the _deranged pixie_. I would be remiss if I failed to deliver them to you."

"Fine, you win. Or, more accurately, she wins."

"She always does." Edward smiled and pushed the smaller of the two packages across the table towards me. I opened it to find a small silver cell phone. "It's already programmed with all our numbers. It's nothing really. She even got last year's model so you wouldn't think it was too fancy. Alice just wanted to make sure that you could talk to any of us whenever you want. Plus, there's no point in running up Renee's phone bill while you're there."

"Okay, well I guess that's pretty sensible. But, what's in the bigger package?"

"Oh, well Alice had a vision and she thought you could use this."

He handed me the package. I opened it to find a beautiful leather bound journal with my initials engraved at the bottom right corner.

"It's beautiful. Thank you. But, I've never been much of a journal writer."

"I know. But, Alice seems to think you'll feel inspired. I'm not one to argue with her."

"Please thank her for me Edward."

"Of course. So, are you all set? I'll go get your bags and load the car. I'll meet you outside."

I quickly washed my dishes and put them away. I grabbed my backpack and put my new phone and journal in it next to my mp3 player and the music Edward selected for me. I stuffed a couple of poptarts in my bag as an afterthought. I might need a snack later. I threw the bag over my shoulder, grabbed my jacket and surveyed the room. This plain little house has truly become my home. It was a lot harder leaving it than I thought it would be, even if it was just temporarily. I took one last look around and walked out the door.

**THE AIRPORT**

I was waiting to board my plane. Edward and I had already said good-bye at the security check-in. He offered to buy himself a ticket so he could wait with me at the gate but I told him how ridiculous that would be. We shared a chaste kiss and a long embrace before I turned to get in line. As he walked away I waited for the hole in my heart to open. But it didn't. _I_ was leaving this time. This was _my_ choice. And this time I knew that Edward still loved me. I knew that I could handle the separation because if I couldn't, well, then I had a lot more problems to deal with than I originally thought.

So, here I am at the gate about to board. I hand my ticket to the flight attendant and out of the corner of my eye I swear that I see a tall dark-skinned young man with black hair pulled loosely into a ponytail. It couldn't be! My heart skips a beat as I stop in my tracks and turn to face the waiting area full on. I scanned the entire room, but he wasn't there. Jake wasn't there. It was just wishful thinking, a figment of my imagination. He really had let me go. All the sadness and despair I was expecting from my separation from Edward started boiling to the surface. A small hole opened in my heart as I slowly walked onto the plane. Only this time, I knew that the hole in my heart was there because I was without Jacob.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

**Author's Note: Sorry it took so long to post this. But, this chapter is twice as long as the other so I hope I'm forgiven. Please read and review. Thanks.**

**CHAPTER FOUR**

I landed in Jacksonville after an uneventful flight. Renee met me at baggage claim. She practically jumped on me which wasn't good for my balance. I nearly fell backwards onto the luggage carousel before some stranger grabbed my arm. There I go again. Now even complete strangers are rescuing me.

On the drive to Renee and Phil's home, Renee detailed her plans for us for the next couple of weeks. From what I actually listened to, I gathered that our itinerary would consist of spa treatments, shopping, and visiting local colleges. I wasn't too thrilled with the spa/shopping idea, but for once the thought of college seemed like a pleasant possibility.

When we got there I walked right into the guestroom and dropped my bags. I'd unpack later. Renee was in the kitchen, presumably fixing me a snack. I had just joined her to lend a hand when I noticed a huge bouquet of two dozen red roses on the kitchen table.

"Mom," I said glancing over at the audacious floral arrangement, "what's that about?"

"Oh, honey, I completely forgot. These arrived for you right as I was leaving for the airport. There's a card."

I walked over to the table and read the card. _I Miss you already. I love you. Be safe. Edward. _He was always so thoughtful. I knew my leaving would be hard on him, but I was also glad that it was only flowers waiting for me and not the actual sender.

"Mom, I need to call Edward to thank him for these. I'll be right back."

I retreated to the guest room and found my new cell phone in my backpack. I pressed speed dial 1 assuming that it would be Edward's number. He answered before the first ring was completed.

"Bella?"

"Hi Edward. So, I made it, safe and sound."

"Clearly. How was your flight? How's Renee?"

"Oh, the flight was pretty boring. And, Renee's going all Alice on me and planning my every move for the next few weeks."

He chuckled. "Well, I'm sure you'll have a nice time."

"Edward, is Alice there? I'd like to talk to her if I may. I feel like I haven't talked to her in a while?"

"Oh, uh, I think Alice is out and about with Jasper. I'd try calling her on her cell phone."

"Yeah, I think I'll do that later. Oh, Edward, thank you so much for the flowers. They're beautiful."

"As are you, love."

I heard Renee call from the kitchen, "Bella, honey, do you want cheese on your sandwich?"

"Yes, mom," I yelled back. "Edward, I better go. I know she's just making a cold sandwich, but knowing her she could be burning the house down as we speak."

"Alright Bella." I could tell he was smiling through the phone. "Shall I call you this evening before you go to bed?"

"Um, no, I don't think so. I'll be up late talking with Renee. I'm sure I'll just want to crash after that. But, I'll call you tomorrow."

Even Edward, the master liar, couldn't hide the disappointment in his voice when he said, "Of course, Bella. I understand. I'll speak with you soon. I love you."

"I love you too. Goodbye."

I was about to rejoin my mother in the kitchen when I thought about one other person I really wanted to talk to. I dialed the number by heart and was glad when a familiar voice answered, "Hello?"

"Hi Billy, it's Bella."

"Oh, uh, hi Bella. Aren't you supposed to be in Jacksonville visiting your mother?"

"Yeah, I just got here actually. Um, Billy, is Jake around? I'd really like to talk to him."

"Oh, um well actually Jake is, uh, out with Quil and Embry. He probably won't be in until late what with patrolling and all."

"Patrolling? I thought Sam would have cut back on patrolling now that the whole newborn threat was taken care of?"

"Well, right, uh, but you know Sam. He never can be too careful."

"Right, of course. Well, Billy would you mind telling Jake I called?"

"Sure, sure."

"Thanks Billy." I gave him my cell number before I hung up. I couldn't fight the feeling that Jake was in the room with Billy during our entire conversation and that Jake just didn't want to talk to me. I guess I couldn't blame him. I decided to let it go and just hope that he'd call back soon.

The evening with Renee went exactly as I predicted. She wouldn't let me go to bed before giving her a detailed account of everything that had gone on in Forks over the last couple of months. She was still apologetic about missing my graduation because of Phil's broken leg. After seeing that he needed her much more than I did I assured her that it wasn't a problem. Of course, had she known that an army of newborn vampires was coming to town immediately after graduation with the sole intention of killing me, she probably would have felt better about missing graduation.

I got ready for bed. It was an exhausting day and yet it was refreshingly uneventful. I lay down in the bed glancing out the window. I couldn't help but think about all the nights that Edward came in through my window to hold me while I slept. I had found it comforting so many times. Once he became part of my life, I felt empty without him near me. After we came back from Italy, I couldn't spend one night away from him. And here I am, three thousand miles away from him, by my choice. I turned the bedside lamp off and drifted in and out of dreams about vampires and werewolves, fire and ice, and the poor girl stuck in the middle.

I awoke mid-morning. My sleep had been restless. I kept waking up thinking that Edward was in the room watching me. It was almost as if his scent was in the room. But, of course, that was impossible. I was disturbed by that thought because I couldn't decide if I was happy or sad about it.

After I washed up I went into the kitchen for breakfast. I saw a note taped to the fridge from Renee: _Hi Hon. I'll be at work until 3:00pm. Help yourself to whatever's in the kitchen. If you feel up to it, you should go to the beach today. The weather is supposed to be lovely. Mom._

After breakfast I decided to head out to the beach. I dressed in a tank top and some shorts to optimize my sun exposure. Spending a year in rainy Forks hadn't cured me of my love for the sun after all. I grabbed my backpack and threw in everything I'd need for a day at the beach. I grabbed a towel, the spf 50 sun block, my mp3 player, and the journal that Alice gave me. I still needed to thank her personally for that. I then grabbed my cell phone and walked into the kitchen to get a sandwich and some bottled water. I raided Renee's closet and found a straw hat to protect my face from the sun. I put the sun block on and walked the three blocks to the beach.

It was a weekday and mid-morning. There were few people at the beach. I laid my towel on the sand and settled in for the day. I leaned back on my elbows and looked out at the crashing waves. It was so nice to be enjoying a beach in the sunlight. I felt so warm and relaxed. I couldn't help but think of my favorite beach in the world, First Beach. And, of course, once I thought of First Beach my mind instantly wandered to Jacob. The beach at La Push was always cold and rainy, but I always felt warm there because of Jacob. He really was my sunshine.

I decided that I didn't want to think about Jacob right now. I just wanted to enjoy being alone, especially since it was such a rare occurrence lately. I put in my earphones and pulled out my journal. I wasn't sure what to write so I just started jotting down descriptions of the ocean and how the sun danced and sparkled on the waves. I then moved on to writing about the various people I would see strolling along the beach. I created stories about who they were, and where they might be from. I was writing for hours and noticed it was well past lunch. I set down the journal and pulled my sandwich and water out of my bag. I figured now was as good a time as any to give Alice a call. I pulled out my cell phone and on a hunch, pressed speed dial 2. The phone barely rang before Alice's perpetually chipper voice screamed into my ear, "Oh Bella, I knew you would call!"

I smiled. "Of course you did Alice. How are you? How's everything in Forks?"

"Oh, we're fine Bella. I miss you so much. We're going to have so much to do for the wedding when you get back. We have dresses to shop for, color schemes to choose, honeymoon locations to…"

"Alice!" She was getting carried away and I really didn't want to talk about the wedding. She seemed to sense my discomfort and waited for me to speak. "Alice, I wanted to thank you for my journal. It's lovely. I've actually been writing in it all morning. You were right, of course. The beach here has inspired me."

"Well, I knew you'd like it."

"Hey, Alice, how's Edward doing? When I called him last night he seemed a little down. He said that you and Jasper weren't around, so I was just wondering how his overall mood was."

Alice seemed uncharacteristically at a loss for words. "Uh, well, he's good, you know? He knows you had to do this, and he's being supportive. So, yeah, I'd say he's in a pretty good mood. I know he does miss you already."

"Yeah, I know he does. I miss him too. Hey, can you do me a favor? Would you mind keeping him cool and collected for me? It's only day two of my little vacation and I don't want him getting carried away and flying out here to save me from, God knows what. Just help him keep his promise, will you?"

Alice was quiet again. She was acting strangely. I couldn't help but ask, "Is there something wrong? Is Edward there with you?"

"No, Bella, nothing's wrong. Geesh, I think you've been hanging out with my brother too long. You're starting to overreact just like him. But, uh, actually, Edward is out with Emmett and Rosalie at the moment. But, I'll tell him that you called. Oh, Jasper needs me. Gotta go. Love you Bella!"

Okay, that was strange. I decided to think nothing of it and finished my lunch. I checked the time on my cell and noticed that it was about 2:30pm. Renee would be home soon. I packed my things and headed back to the house.

I continued on like this for the next few weeks. Every morning I'd head out to the beach to do some writing. Despite the numerous applications of sun block I was actually starting to develop a slight tan. Renee kept me busy with shopping. She insisted I get a bikini wax on one of our spa dates as part of some female rite of passage. That wasn't an experience I was planning on revisiting anytime soon.

Renee had also taken me to visit some local colleges. I knew she wanted me closer to her so I just went along with it. I found that I was becoming pretty interested in the whole college idea. Once I met Edward, college became Plan B. The more I thought about it, the more interesting it became, especially since I was writing so much. I found that I was quite good at it. I felt like I finally had direction in my life, apart from Edward. I decided that at some point I would want to pursue a career in writing. Maybe I could write the next classic novel like my idols Austen and the Bronte sisters. For the first time in a long while I felt like my future was full of possibilities.

I made it a point to talk to Edward about every other day. It was strange at first, not talking to him everyday. But, I felt that we both needed the space. I will admit that he seemed a little odd when we talked. If I didn't know any better, I'd think he was hiding something from me. When I asked him what he was doing with all his free time he was pretty evasive. He assured me that nothing of interest was going on with him and that he just wanted to hear about my day. He deflected any questions that had to do with what the rest of the Cullens were up to. I mentioned this to Alice, but she just told me I was being paranoid and then she'd change the subject.

I'd tried calling Jacob every few days. Billy gave me every excuse under the sun as to why Jake wasn't around when I called. If I didn't miss him so much, I'd be pretty pissed off at him by now.

Charlie kept in touch, just like he promised. Nothing much had changed with his routine since I'd been gone except for the fact that he was probably eating out almost every night. I asked him about Jake but he just said that whenever he was at Billy's, Jake just stayed in his room a lot. I could tell Charlie missed me. He was anxious to have me home. I think he was nervous that Renee was going to convince me to attend college in Florida and then he'd lose me all over again. Little did he know that Renee wasn't the one he needed to worry about. If I married Edward, as was the plan, then he and Renee really would lose me forever.

I was approaching my third full week in Jacksonville. My mom and I had really reconnected. I realized just how important my parents were in my life. Hell, even Phil was starting to grow on me.

Phil was going to be out all night playing poker with his buddies. Renee saw this as an opportunity to have a girl's night in. She ordered pizza and picked out several chick flicks to watch. We ate in our pajamas and laid out blankets and pillows next to the couch. I was enjoying spending time with her. Being in a stable relationship with Phil had done wonders for her. She was still the flighty, child-like Renee that she always was. But, she was also more grounded. She seemed to be confident and content in her role as wife and mother. I felt ridiculous to even think it, but I was so proud that my mom had finally "grown up."

We were eating and giggling about stupid things when all of a sudden Renee blurted out, "So, honey, when are you going to tell me why you ran away from Forks?"

I practically spit out the soda I was drinking when I gasped out my reply, "What are you talking about?"

"Bella, you've been here fore three weeks now. When you're not at the beach you spend your time either daydreaming or writing in your journal. And although you talk to Edward almost everyday your conversations tend to be short and superficial. I know you've been trying to hide it, but I know you've been trying to talk to Jacob and that he's not returning your calls."

Wow! Damn my mother's perceptiveness. I honestly thought she hadn't noticed my behavior lately. As if she could read my mind she said, "Don't get so paranoid Bella. I'm your mother. I'm supposed to notice these things. Now, I've waited patiently for three weeks for you to speak up. Since it looks like you need a little encouragement, I'll start you off. So, what happened between you and Edward, and what does your friend Jacob have to do with it?"

As if that wasn't a loaded question? I looked down at my plate thinking of the best way to answer Renee's question. I put my plate to the side, realizing that my appetite was now gone. How could I explain to my mother that I was in love with a vampire _and_ a werewolf who just happen to be mortal enemies? That wasn't exactly a normal topic of conversation.

"Bella, the last time you were here you and Edward were inseparable. You may think I'm being silly, but I actually thought you were coming here to tell me that you two were engaged!" She laughed at her admission while my cheeks started to burn.

She noticed me shifting where I sat and gasped, "Oh God, Bella. Did he ask you to marry him? Did you say yes?"

"Yes, and yes," I stuttered, "but that was b-before I knew about Jacob."

"Okay, baby, tell me everything!"

I knew arguing with her would get me nowhere so I decided to tell her as much as I could. "Well, I guess it all started when Edward left me. I thought he didn't love me anymore and he made me feel like everything we had together was a lie. Even though it all turned out to be a huge misunderstanding, I was still a mess."

"I know honey, I was there. I've never been more terrified in my life. It was worse than when you had that horrible accident in Phoenix. At least then I knew you were just physically hurt. And although no mother wants to see their child injured, the shape you were in after Edward left was much, much worse. It was like you didn't even know I was there. You were locked away somewhere in your own mind, swallowed in the pain. I wanted to bring you home with me and take you to a psychiatrist. Your father would call me almost every day to let me know how you were doing. If I recall correctly, it wasn't until you started hanging out with your friend Jacob that you started coming back to life again."

"Mom, I was pathetic. Looking back at how I behaved, I'm embarrassed and ashamed. I'll never forgive myself for what I put you and Charlie through." I hung my head to emphasize the point.

"Bella, why would you say that?"

"Because, Mom, you raised me to be stronger than that. I know I had every right to grieve for the end of a relationship, but it was five months before I could hold an intelligent conversation. Without Edward, I felt like I was nothing. I felt like there was nothing in this world to live for. I scared you, but looking back at how I behaved, I think I scared myself more. I don't ever want to feel that way again."

"But Bella," she seemed confused about how to continue with her train of thought. "He came back for you and you said you'd marry him. Why are you freaking out now?"

"When Edward came back it was like I finally got everything I had wanted since he went away. I felt like I was whole for the first time in months. The thing is, I was so happy that I finally had what I wanted that I didn't even think to consider if it was something I needed."

"Is this where Jacob comes into play?"

"Yeah, he was there for me when I was miserable. He was my best friend. He's such a wonderful, happy person that he made me smile in spite of the fact that I felt like my world was falling apart. He kept me sane and he helped me find myself again. We got close, Mom. So close that I felt we were blurring the line between friends and something more. He made me feel like his equal. He let me be me and he encouraged me to take chances and to be a little reckless. He helped me break out of my shell. But, then Edward came back and I was so happy that I put Jake on the backburner. I was consumed with everything Edward that I didn't even notice that Jacob was still burning at the periphery of my mind. Of course, it doesn't help that Jacob and Edward are mortal enemies."

Renee perked up at that, "Mortal enemies? Don't you think you're being a little melodramatic honey?"

Oh crap! How could I be so stupid? Yes, Mom, mortal enemies. Oh, did I forget to mention that Edward is a vampire and Jake happens to be a werewolf? Yeah, I know small world, huh? I tried to calm myself and answered, "Well, okay, maybe I was being a little melodramatic with the whole mortal enemies thing. But, Edward didn't trust my relationship with Jake. He thought Jake was too young and reckless and that I could get hurt if I hung out with him. Jake on the other hand was angry that I took Edward back so easily after everything I had been through." Okay, so that wasn't the whole truth, but none of it was a lie either.

"Bella, don't you think, in light of your new feelings, that Edward had a right to distrust your relationship with Jacob?"

"Well, in retrospect I guess he did. But, Mom, it was never intentional. If Edward hadn't left I never would have gotten to know Jacob. I never would have known what I was missing. As I said, I was so happy that Edward came back that I didn't take the time to question how I really felt about everything. I found myself going to great lengths just to spend time with Jake. He kept telling me that he loved me and that I loved him in return. I thought he was being crazy because he knew how much I loved Edward. But, Jake proved to me that he knew me better than I knew myself. We were kind of put into a pretty stressful situation one day and, well, Jake kissed me."

"Did you kiss him back?"

"Not at first. But, then all the feelings that I kept hidden from myself boiled to the surface. I kissed him back, and at that moment, I felt like all I ever wanted to do was kiss him. I started to envision our future together and it made me question all the things I wanted with Edward. Jake made me realize that I was in love with him too."

"But, a part of me knew that I loved Edward more. So, I told Jacob right away that although I was in love with him it wasn't enough to change anything. I told him that I chose Edward. The thing is, ever since then, I keep dreaming about Jake. When I spend time at the beach here, it just reminds me of Jake and La Push. If I chose Edward, then why is Jake occupying all my thoughts?"

"You know, sweety, you've been talking a lot in your sleep since you got here. Some of what you've been saying is pretty crazy. I mean you mention vampires and werewolves a lot. Geez, Bella, what have you been watching lately? Anyway, the important thing is that I haven't heard you say Edward's name since that first night?"

I was still caught up in the fact that Renee had heard me talk about vampires and werewolves that it took me a while to register what she had just said. So I asked, "What do you mean I don't say Edward's name anymore?"

"Well, now don't get mad. It's not like I was trying to eavesdrop on you. But, that first night I was really worried. I knew you weren't telling me what was really going on so I was pretty restless and couldn't sleep. I headed for the kitchen to get some water and when I past by your room I heard you moaning and crying out. I went in to check on you thinking you needed me only to discover that you were talking in your sleep. I was just leaving when all of a sudden you cried out 'Edward, I'm sorry!' I didn't think much of it until you followed that by sighing 'My Jacob,' and something about 'my sunshine' and 'I love you.' Then you started rambling on about vampires and werewolves fighting to protect you in Forks and I could swear the Italian mafia made an appearance. That's when I left you to your dreams."

Renee was smiling, but she still looked worried. I couldn't believe I had technically told her all the secrets I had been keeping from her for over a year. Even if she didn't believe them it was still disconcerting. I squirmed as I sat there, embarrassed by what she had heard.

"Bella, don't be embarrassed. I will tell you though, that every night since I've heard you say Jacob's name, not Edward's. Now, what do _you_ think that means?"

"Mom, I don't…I mean…it doesn't have to mean anything."

"It certainly does mean something. You told Edward that you would marry him. By the way, I think we need to discuss the whole marriage thing, after all you are only eighteen, but I digress. Either way, you said yes, and now your subconscious is preoccupied with another boy. You can't have both, so I think it's time you choose for good."

She was right, except for referring to either Jacob or Edward as boys. I was lost in thought and didn't realize Renee was staring at me waiting for me to speak. When I didn't say anything she continued, "Bella, maybe I can help focus this for you. What can Jacob offer you that Edward can't?"

"That's just it Mom. I don't think it comes down to what they can offer me. They both can offer me a perfectly wonderful life. Edward is completely devoted to me. His family loves me and we'll want for nothing. And I know that once we get married, we really will be together forever." I knew Renee would take that last part as hyperbole and not take it seriously, even if it was the God's honest truth. So I continued, "Jake, well we wouldn't have much by way of financial stability, but he would love me with all his heart and we could have children together."

"Okay, but can't you have kids with Edward too? Why would that be a factor in your decision?"

Actually Mom, Edward's a vampire and since he's been dead since 1918, I think kids are kind of out of the question. Okay, maybe I can't go with that answer. But, I wasn't sure how I could explain it to her. "Well, uh, not to get too personal, but uh, well when  
Edward was younger he had an accident and the doctors told him he could never have kids." I was such a bad liar, but I had to tell her something. I hoped she wouldn't notice.

"Oh, I see. Well, you could always adopt. Either way, honey, you're only 18. Are kids really that important to you at this stage in your life?"

"No, I was just thinking out loud I guess. It doesn't seem to matter what they can offer me. They both love me and they can offer equally appealing futures. What it comes down to is me. Edward is so protective of me. I know he does it out of love, but I let him make decisions for me. He made it nearly impossible to maintain my friendship with Jacob saying that he was only looking out for me. It's frustrating. I feel like he's this perfect person who seems to know everything and is good at everything. I'll never be good enough. He's constantly telling me that that's just not true, but ultimately, if I marry him, I have to change who I am." Renee had no idea just how true that was. If I married Edward, I would then become a vampire. I would cease to be who I am. I'd become something "other."

"But, with Jake…I don't know."

"Honey, what exactly are you unsure about?"

"Jake loves me, just as I am. I don't have to change who I am to be with him. I can be clumsy, plain old Bella with him. He's protective of me, but he doesn't smother me. He respects my decisions even if he doesn't agree with them. He doesn't shield me from the truth. Edward's always trying to gloss over things trying to protect me. He'll lie to me if he thinks it's for my own good. Sometimes, I feel like a child with him. Everything is always so intense, so serious. With Jake, I feel lighter, freer. I guess, happier." In my mind I knew there was the possibility that Jake could imprint on someone one day, but I thought he was worth taking that risk."

"Bella, maybe we should cut our little slumber party short. I think you could use some rest. Maybe a good night's sleep will help clear things up for you."

"Yeah, maybe you're right." I turned to pick up my blankets and pillow. Although I was still confused, I felt so happy that I was able to have this talk with Renee. It was nice to connect with her on a mature level. The thought of having to abandon her and Charlie forever just didn't seem right. I didn't know if I could do it anymore. I looked up and met my mother's warm eyes and said, "Goodnight Mom. I love you."

"I love you too, Bella. Sweet dreams."

I finally got to bed and expected to toss and turn all night. Instead, the moment my head hit the pillow I fell into the most restful sleep I could remember in months. I woke up refreshed. While I was showering I was surprised to hear a strange humming sound. It took me a while to figure out that the sound was coming from me. I was humming. I was happy. As I dried off I realized that I needed to talk to Jacob. Today was the day that I would make him talk to me.

I left the bathroom and headed straight towards my cell phone. I dialed Jake's number hoping beyond hope that I would catch him. I glanced at my alarm clock and noticed that it was 9:00am. Oh shit! That means it's 6:00am in Forks. It was too early. I was caught between letting the phone keep ringing or hanging up when Billy answered. He sounded awake, but anxious when he said, "Hello?"

"Billy, hi it's Bella. Look, sorry I'm calling so early, but I need to speak with Jacob. Is he awake?"

"Bella, uh, Jake isn't here. I…"

"Billy, I know he's there. You have every right to hate me right now. I know Jacob's been avoiding me. But, I really need to talk to him. I have to let him know how I really feel. Please Billy."

"Bella, you don't understand. Jacob's not here. He ran off a week ago and we haven't heard from him since. We've been worried sick. We know he's not phasing because the pack can't hear him. Either that or he's so far away that he's out of range. I'm worried Bella. He hasn't been the same since the battle with the newborns. I don't know if he's coming back."

I was so stunned I just ended the call with Billy. I didn't know what to say. Jake, ran away? Oh God, what have I done?


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. **

**CHAPTER FIVE**

Jake ran away. What could he be thinking? What had I reduced him to? When I first came to La Push Jake was a genuinely happy person. His smile was contagious. His honesty, comfort, and love kept me sane after my zombie days without Edward. He had been nothing but loving and supportive towards me. And I repaid him by breaking his heart. But, why run away? What changed since I left that would possess him to leave his family, his pack, his obligations. What if I never saw him again? No, that wasn't an option. I needed him in my life more than he knew.

I was panicking. I felt like I needed to do something. But, I knew I couldn't help anyone here. I didn't think. I just acted. I knew that I had to get home, now. Maybe Jacob would already be heading home, or maybe he'd hear that I was home and he'd come back.

Renee was out with Phil all day. I'd just take her car to the airport and call her to let her know where I parked it. I threw everything in my backpack and put on some shorts and a tank top, (my uniform in Jacksonville). I'd worry about the cold when I got back to Forks.

I got on my cell phone and put in a call to the airline. I had an open-ended ticket and I checked to find the earliest flight into Seattle. I had my bags in my hand and grabbed Renee's car keys. I ran out the door and headed straight to the car. I threw my bags in the back seat and in the process dropped the keys on the ground. I went to pick them up when the sun glinting on a shiny metallic object near the curb caught my eye. I looked up and there was a vision before me. There was Jacob, in all his masculine glory leaning against his bike with his arms crossed against his chest looking like James Dean or a younger, much thinner Marlon Brando. He was wearing a tight black t-shirt, shredded jeans, and old biker boots. His hair was slightly shorter than the last time I saw him. It barely reached his chin in the back and he had a couple of uneven short layers that framed his beautiful cheekbones. I knew I was staring, but I didn't care. He had an amused smirk on his face. Jake was here! I couldn't believe it.

As if possessed, I ran straight towards him and jumped into his arms. If he wasn't so strong I would have knocked us both over into the bike and onto the street with my momentum. I wrapped my legs around his waist and hugged him close to me. Then I placed my hands on either side of his face and smiled at him. His body stiffened and his eyes were wide with wonder, confusion, and anticipation.

I stared into his big brown eyes for what seemed like forever. Just a moment ago I thought I'd never see him again. All the feelings I'd been denying for so long were released. All the barriers I had put up came crumbling down. I realized that here in his arms, is where I was supposed to be. It was where I wanted to be with all my heart. I wasn't divided in two anymore. Overcome with emotion I started feathering tiny kisses all over Jacob's face. With every kiss I convinced myself that he was really there. I kissed his temple, the tip of his nose, his cheeks, and his chin. And then I stared at his smooth, luscious lips. I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth with all the passion I possessed. His mouth was stiff and unyielding at first and then he melted into the kiss with me. His hands, which had been resting at my waist since I jumped on him, were now snaking up and down my back pressing me closer to him. He moaned his arousal and I kissed him even harder. Our bodies had never been this close before, except for that one cold night together in the tent. The difference this time was that I was more than willing to admit that I was excited. My gorgeous best friend turned me on. I didn't care that we were in the middle of the street in front of neighbors. I wanted Jacob. I wanted My Jacob.

But, in an instant, everything changed. Jake stiffened. He broke the kiss and his arms fell to his sides. Before I had a chance to recover from his sudden change he grabbed my arms from around his neck and gently, but firmly placed me on the ground. My body immediately missed his warmth. I looked into his eyes, confused, and saw rage and furry reflected back at me. He practically snarled, "That was seriously fucked up, Bella!"

I was stunned. He'd never sworn at me before. I was about to respond when he interrupted me, "I thought you loved me Bella. Even though you're with Edward, you still love me, right?"

"Of course, Jake. I…," he interrupted again.

"Well, what kind of person throws herself at someone only to constantly pull away and apologize? Especially when that girl belongs to someone else. It's sick, Bella. I didn't think you could be so cruel."

His fists were clenched at his sides and his eyes bored into mine challenging me to explain myself. Tears were spilling from my eyes at the thought of all the pain and heartache I had caused him. I wanted nothing more than to hold him in my arms and tell him that he was the one. To make him feel as whole as his presence here made me feel.

"Jake…"

"No, Bella," he held his hand up in the air to silence me. "You've done plenty of the talking in the past. I came here for a reason. I came to tell you that I'm done. I'm out. I'm sick of not being enough for you. And I'm sick of these games where you tug me back and forth. So, you're free. You can stop calling me. You don't have to feel guilty about breaking my heart anymore. I'm leaving and I don't plan on seeing you again!" He glared at me throughout this tirade, but then his face softened showing that his anger was really a mask put in place to protect his breaking heart. He continued, "I love you with all my heart. And I thought I would be okay just being your friend. But, I can't. Maybe I'm being selfish, but I can't bear to see you as a vampire and know that you'll never blush or trip over your own feet. That's not you. That's not the person I fell in love with. I can't save you from yourself. So, that's it. Have a nice life."

Tears were forming in his eyes, but with great strength of mind he willed them away. He turned towards his bike. I was stunned so I didn't notice that he was already straddling the seat and about to start the engine and drive away forever. I wasn't going to let him get away. I needed him in my life, the same way he needed me. I reached out and grabbed his arm.

"Jake, please just hear me out. I'm not trying to be cruel. I'm so sorry I hurt you like that. When I kissed you just now, I got a little carried away. I was just so happy that you were here, that you weren't some dream. I just got off the phone with Billy and he told me that you ran away. I was so worried that I'd never see you again. I was just on my way to the airport to catch the first flight home when you showed up." Jacob listened intently. He lifted his leg up and over the bike so that he was once again leaning against it, facing me. He eyed me expectantly, encouraging me to continue. I stepped closer to him until our bodies were mere inches apart. I parted his legs with my body so that I could stand between them and be even closer to him. If I could have melted into him I would have. I reached up and cupped his cheek in my hand.

"Jake, I'm in love with you. I want to be with you, and only you. I called Billy this morning because I needed to make everything right and to tell you that I was coming home. But, you ran away, and look where we ended up, together. I'm sorry I made you feel as though you weren't good enough. But, I wasn't good enough for you. At least, not until I could appreciate you for everything you are."

Jacob leaned into my hand while I confessed my feelings for him. His eyes were full of hope and love. It looked as though he was processing a thousand things in his mind all at once. Then, like a cloud passing over the sun, his expression changed. He grabbed my hand off of his face and glared at me. "What about Edward, huh Bells? What about the moment Prince Charming comes rolling into town to sweep you back up off of your feet? What happens to me then? I already told you that I can't fight an eclipse. I'm not going to try anymore."

Now, I was angry. He was just plain pissing me off at this point. Here I was confessing everything I felt for him and he doubted me. Of course, my anger subsided a little when I put myself in his shoes. So, now I was bound and determined to make him believe me. He was staring off into the distance and not acknowledging my close proximity to him. I forcefully placed both hands back on either side of his face and pulled him down to my eye level. I managed a playful smirk when I said, "Jake, you idiot. Don't you know that an eclipse is just temporary? The sun always shines once it's over. I love you. If you'll have me, then I want to be with you."

I tried to convey the truth of my feelings with my eyes and the way I lovingly touched his face. My anger had completely dissipated and I was filled with hope and longing that Jacob still wanted me as much as I wanted him. The silence was deafening. I didn't want to say anything yet. I was waiting for him to say something, anything. He stopped leaning on his bike and stood up to his full height. My hands fell from his face as a result and I moved them to rest on his chest. He put one hand on the back of my neck and into my hair and the other he placed on my cheek. His thumb gently stroked my jaw. I couldn't breath. He bent down, his face an inch from mine. His woodsy, pine scent threatened to overwhelm me. His hot breath on my face made me weak in the knees. And then he smiled. The smile that belonged only to Jacob and said, "I'm the idiot, Bells? You're the one who took forever to come to her senses!" And with that he kissed me.

There was no holding back now. My lips were burning from the intensity of his kiss. His hands tangled in my hair trying to pull are bodies even closer. My hands explored the contours of his chest and arms. I wanted to touch him everywhere, all at once. I was so happy, so aroused that I couldn't think straight. I was starved for air. Jake seemed to sense it and moved from my lips to gently nibble on my ear. He didn't give me much time to adjust to that wonderful sensation before he licked me from the base of my neck back up to my ear. It was so animalistic, the hottest thing I'd ever experienced. He let out a seductive growl and I opened my eyes wide in surprise. He had the sexiest grin on his face. I was so overcome with emotion that I blurted out the first thing that came to mind, "Jake, that's the first kiss we've shared that hasn't ended in tears or broken bones!"

He let out his barking laugh and said, "You're right. I must be getting better at it!" He pulled me into his strong embrace, tucked a stray hair behind my ear and whispered, "I love you, Bells, even if you are a little slow."

"Jake, as wonderful as this moment is, I think we should go somewhere to really talk everything out. Besides, I think the neighbors have had enough of a show."

"Okay, where should we go?"

"Well, how about the beach?"

He smiled. "That seems appropriate. We always end up there anyway."

"Okay, I just need to throw my stuff back in my room." I ran to the car and grabbed my bags and picked up the keys that were still on the ground. Jacob grabbed my hand and followed me into the house. "So, Bells, do I get a tour?"

"Oh, uh, well, here's the kitchen, which I'm sure you'll get acquainted with soon enough." I pulled him behind me and walked down the hall pointing to rooms on either side. "Here's Renee and Phil's room, and here's my room." We walked into my room which was still a mess due to my unplanned packing job earlier. There were clothes strewn all about the floor. I hastily kicked some stray bras and panties that didn't quite make it into my bags under the bed. Although he was scoping out the room, my little covert operation didn't escape his notice. He smiled and wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close so that we were facing each other. "It's okay, Bells. I've seen bras and panties before." This time it was his turn to blush.

"Oh, really Jacob," I asked with a smirk. "And may I ask how you became so familiar with women's lingerie?"

"Come on Bells, I do have two sisters you know." And then he turned an even deeper shade of red and I couldn't help but giggle at how embarrassed he looked.

"Oh, God, that came out _so_ wrong." He gave me a sheepish grin before kissing me on the forehead and sitting down on my bed.

"Okay, well, do you want to go swimming, or should we just hang out on the sand?"

"Well, it doesn't hurt to be prepared. I'll get my trunks from my bike." Jacob stood and was out the door in just a few quick strides.

My heart was still pounding from my revelation outside. I couldn't believe how freeing it felt to finally admit my feelings and to be okay with them. I searched through some of the shopping bags I had accumulated in my time with Renee. I knew she bought me a bathing suit. Ah, there it was a navy halter top bikini. (I suppose I should thank her for that bikini wax after all.) Normally, I'd cringe at the idea of showing this much skin. But, suddenly I had a new found sense of confidence. With Jake, I didn't have to be afraid of tempting him too much. That idea was very exciting. Jake walked back into my room with his swim trunks in his hand. When I turned to him, I couldn't help but blush.

"Why are you blushing, Bells? _What_ were you just thinking?"

I recovered immediately, "Nothing. Here, you change in here, while I change in the bathroom. I'll meet you out front.

I met Jake outside with a tote bag full of towels, sun block, and enough sandwiches, chips, soda, and water to feed a football team. Jacob ran up to me and grabbed the bag replacing it with a tight squeeze from his massive hand. He smiled his brilliant smile and said, "Let's go."

We walked to the beach in comfortable silence. I hadn't been this happy since I first fell in love with Edw-. No, I wasn't going to think about him right now. This day was about me and Jake, and no one else. We got to the beach and laid out our towels and food. Jacob looked at me questioningly, "So, do you want to swim now, or later?"

"Let's swim now. Didn't Billy ever teach you that it isn't safe to swim on a full stomach?"

"Well, I don't think that rule really applies to werewolves. Besides, Bells, even if you did cramp up, you know I'd save you, right? It's kind of what I do."

I smiled warmly at him and said, "Jake, you already have saved me."

He grinned at me and proceeded to take off his shirt. I had seen Jake half naked on numerous occasions. You'd think the La Push boys had a religious abhorrence to wearing clothing. But, now that my feelings for Jake were real and out in the open, I couldn't help but stare at his perfection. He really was the epitome of masculine beauty. Edward was gorgeous, but in an ethereal, other-worldly way. You could see it, appreciate it, but you couldn't really touch it. But, Jacob's beauty was earthbound. His beauty, though perfect, was based on reality. It was more tangible. His russet colored skin glowed in the sunlight. His chest was broad and firm. My eyes started to wander down his body to his ridiculously sculpted abs. My eyes traveled farther down to his low-slung board shorts. They rested so low on his hips that I could see the masculine V jutting up from uncharted territory. I was so mesmerized by him that I could swear I was drooling. I didn't even notice that Jake was speaking to me.

"Hey, Bells, see anything you like?"

My mouth snapped shut and the blood rushed to my face simultaneously. He had caught me ogling him like a piece of meat. I should be embarrassed. But, then I realized that it was okay to ogle Jacob. We were going to be together now. So, I replied in a nonchalant way, "Yeah, Jake. I do like what I see. Got a problem with that?"

For once, Jacob was speechless. He had an incredulous look on his face. Then he grinned and said, "At least now you're being honest about it! Come on Bells. We're burning daylight here. Let's get in the water."

Since I had been caught shamelessly ogling Jacob, I figured I'd have some fun with him. So, I unbuttoned my shorts, pulled them slowly down my legs and then tossed them onto my towel. Next I took off my tank top and added it to the pile of clothes. I was so comfortable with Jake that it didn't bother me that I was standing in front of him with nothing on but a small bikini, or if I'm being honest with myself, a glorified set of bra and panties. I could feel Jake's eyes roaming freely all over my newly exposed skin. From the corner of my eye, I could see that his eyes were filled with a combination of awe and lust. I felt sexy for the first time in my life. It was one thing to have this effect on the guy I loved, but it was a whole new experience for me to have that guy show me just how mush he appreciated my body. I reached into my bag for the sun block. I put it all over my arms, chest, and legs. Jake watched every movement I made with a look that said he wished he was the one putting the lotion on me. So, I decided to throw my dog a bone.

"Hey, Jake, would you help me put this on my back? I can't reach."

"Uh, sure…wait…what?"

"Geez _dog_, cat got your tongue? I asked if you could help me put some of this lotion on my back."

That seemed to do the trick. Jake came up next to me and took the sun block from my hand. "Sorry, Bells, I can't help it that we're just so hot together." We both laughed at that. Jacob moved behind me with the lotion already in his hands. The next thing I felt were two strong, hot hands rubbing all over my bare shoulders and lower back. Jake massaged my neck and arms while rubbing the lotion into my skin. His hands moved in small circles all along my body, occasionally dipping slightly passed the waist of my bikini bottoms. Just as I was getting hot and heavy over his ministrations, Jake said, "You're all set; now let's get in the water!"

Jacob and I stayed in the water for hours. We swam, we body surfed. We took turns throwing each other in the water. (He happened to be more successful at that than I.) He would toss me several feet into the air and laugh as I flailed around until I hit the crashing waves. I had never had so much fun in my life. There wasn't a moment that went by when we weren't laughing or smiling. We decided to get out of the water when our skin was so water-logged we looked like prunes. We dried off and ate our lunch. After Jake had his fourth sandwich he seemed content to just rest and relax. He sat behind me so that I could wedge between his legs and rest the back of my head on his chest. I was tired, relaxed and so happy. I felt at peace for the first time since I came to Jacksonville. I knew that declaring my love for Jacob was the first step towards our future together. But, I also knew that there was a lot more that needed to be said between us. There were unanswered questions that needed to be addressed.

Jacob broke the silence, "So, Bells, honey, we need to talk. I believe you when you tell me that you've chosen me. But, I need to know, why? Why me? Why now? I need to understand."

I sat up and turned around so that I was facing him. "Why you, Jake? I don't know. I think it's because you're arrogant, cocky, pushy, and often infuriating." He looked at me like I had just stabbed him in the heart. But, I wasn't finished, so I grabbed his chin and forced him to look me in the eyes. "Or, maybe it's because you're also sweet, kind, loving, free-spirited, and generally happy. I love you, faults and all. But, most importantly, I love you because you let me be me. You want to be with me, but you don't smother me. You're my best friend. You protect me, but you don't _over_ protect me. You don't put me on a pedestal. You make me feel like I'm your equal, not some goddess that needs to be worshipped and guarded."

Jacob was deep in thought. "Okay, but why now? Just a few weeks ago you told me that your love for me wasn't enough compared to your love for Edward." He struggled just saying his name. "Why am I enough now?"

"Jake, let's just say I jumped the gun a bit. That kiss we shared before the battle threw my whole world into a tailspin. I went from being confident in my love for one man to discovering I was in love with two men, all in a matter of moments. I didn't take the time to really think about how loving you made me feel. I thought I was doing the right thing by telling you we wouldn't work. I thought a clean break would be easier for both of us. But, that night Jake, I dreamt of you. I dreamt of the future we could have. I dreamt of us in bed together, married with kids of our own. And I knew that I was happy just waking up in your arms."

A sexy grin appeared on his face when he said, "So, wait, you dreamt of us in bed together?"

"_So_ not the point Jake!" I slapped him playfully on his arm. "Jake, the point is that I thought I already made my choice. But, you were invading my dreams. I couldn't get you off my mind. I knew then that I really needed to take the time to explore my feelings for you, especially since I was supposed to be engaged to someone else. I needed to see if I really could _only_ be happy with Edward. So, I came here. I've spent my time here kind of re-discovering myself. I've been reconnecting with my mom and lounging at the beach. I've been writing, Jake! I found out that it's something that I'm really good at. I never took the time for myself to explore what I would like to do for a living. I fell in love for the first time and I gave up on the idea of college and a career. I started to question why I wanted to be a vampire in the first place. If I married Edward, I would lose my family. I would lose the possibility of having my own children. I would lose you. And, I would lose myself. I finally decided that though I do love Edward, I wasn't meant for him. I can't spend eternity with someone who can only be perfectly comfortable and at ease with me if I become something else. He's not where my future lies."

Jacob quietly processed everything I had said. His next question surprised me. "What about forever, Bells? Are you gonna regret giving up forever, for me?"

I saw the pain in his eyes and I knew how hard it was for him to ask me that. I rose to my knees in front of him and caressed both sides of his face. His eyes were downcast as if he was afraid of how I would respond. "Jake, look at me," his beautiful brown eyes met mine. "Jake, I'm not giving up forever. Forever was never mine to keep. It was the dream of a naïve teenager who fell in love. I think I'm a little wiser now. If I lived forever, I would have an eternity of missing you. I'd rather live one lifetime, if it could be spent loving you. I was born human, and I'm going to die human. Preferably in your arms, the way it was meant to be." And then I kissed him warmly and deeply and it felt like home.

We kissed passionately for what seemed like hours. Jake broke the kiss first to say, "I love you, Bells."

"I love you too, Jake."

I turned around and leaned my back against his chest while my head rested on his shoulder. His arms wrapped around my bare stomach and set my whole body on fire. We stared quietly at the ocean. It was close to sunset now. I felt so comfortable enveloped in Jacob's arms.

Jacob broke the silence when he said, "Bells, I didn't leave La Push to see you."

My body stiffened in his arms. I continued to stare at the ocean afraid that my new-found world would fall apart. I asked softly, "What do you mean?"

"Well, not intentionally. I left La Push because I couldn't take all the constant nagging. Billy, The Pack, they kept telling me to get over you. That you made your choice and that there was nothing I could do. They were right, to a degree. But I knew that I wasn't ever going to get over you. I resigned myself to the idea that one day, in the distant future; I might be able to love again. But, I knew it would be a poor substitute for the love I have for you. And then you kept calling me. The past few weeks have been my own personal hell. I don't know if you realize how you tortured me, Bella."

I clasped his hands reassuringly. They were still wrapped tightly around my waist. He squeezed my hands right back. I knew he wanted to continue, so I kept quiet and let him finish.

"I had to get away from everything. So, I packed a small bag with some clothes and as much cash as I could get my hands on. I got on my bike and took off. I just started riding. I was in South Dakota before I even realized where I was going. My heart, body and soul were taking me to Jacksonville, while my mind remained oblivious. There was this connection greater than me that was guiding me home, so to speak. So I kept going. I knew me being here wasn't going to change anything. But, I needed to tell you to let me go. I wouldn't be happy without you, but I'd be free to move on as best I could. So, when you saw me and started kissing me, I freaked out. For a second I was convinced that you _had_ changed your mind. But, then reality set in and I got pissed. You were giving me exactly what I wanted and I knew you were going to take it back, _again_. I'm sorry I was so rough with you."

I leaned my head to the side and looked back into Jacob's eyes. "It's okay, Jake. We don't have to be sorry anymore. We've got all the time in the world to figure things out between us."

Jacob leaned in and gave me a sweet peck on my lips. He flashed his brilliant smile and said, "Not _all_ the time in the world, Bells, but, enough."

I simply replied, "Yeah, enough."

We sat for a little while longer just enjoying the beach and being together. We watched as the sun slowly sank closer towards the horizon. That's when it hit me, "Oh, crap! Jake, we need to get back. I've been out all day and I didn't leave a note for Renee. She's going to freak out."

We got up and threw our clothes back on over our suits. Jake picked up our towels and my bag and then reached for my hand with a huge smile on his face. I took his hand in mine and we walked briskly back to Renee's.

The front porch light was already on and the sun was just setting behind us. We approached the door when Jacob stiffened and got into a defensive position in front of me. He let out a protective growl. Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone appear from the shadows. Jacob's growling got louder. Before my eyes could adjust to make out who the stranger approaching was, a familiar voice hissed, "Bella, what the hell are you doing with that _dog_?"

"Edward?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

**CHAPTER SIX**

"Edward?"

Jacob stopped growling and stood to his full height. He moved to my side immediately to show his support. It did not escape my notice that he didn't stand in front of me in a protective stance like Edward always did. As much as he hated Edward, he knew that I trusted him. And Jacob trusted me.

"Jacob, what the hell are you doing here? Are you stupid? You just can't take a hint, can you? What's it going to take for you to figure out that you _lost_? Bella chose me. Deal with it and back the hell off!"

Did Edward just imply that I was a prize to be won? Before I could even formulate a reply I noticed Jacob's body stiffen next to me. Jake was furious. For a split second his body started to vibrate violently, initiating his phasing. But, he controlled himself and stepped up to Edward. He glared down at him and shouted, "What the fuck, Edward? Who the hell do you think you are? You don't know why I'm here and don't assume you know me just because you can get inside my head. You're the one coming off stupid right now so why don't you back the fuck off before shit gets real!"

Edward bared his teeth in warning. He clearly didn't like Jacob or his scent in such close proximity to him. He glared up at Jacob and said out loud, "Well, it looks like your dog has learned some new tricks, Bella. He's doing a pretty good job of blocking me from his thoughts. But, that really just begs the question, what does he have to hide?" Edward turned his gaze on me and asked, "Bella, why is he here? Alice called and told me that your future disappeared and I came straight here. Imagine my surprise when I see the mutt's bike parked here and your scent all over it. I've been waiting here for hours. Do you know how worried I've been? The only reason I didn't follow your scent to the beach this morning is because I had to stay out of the sunlight."

I was still stunned by Edward's sudden appearance. Why would he have flown out like that? Did he just say he's been here all morning? Wait, that doesn't sound right. I was working through this information while Edward and Jacob silently glared at one another. I was about to say something when Renee opened the front door looking anxious.

"Bella, are you alright? Where have you been? I've been freaking out you know?" Her eyes assessed me top to bottom. When she was convinced that I had all my limbs and that I hadn't been lying in a ditch somewhere, her eyes finally took in the fact that I wasn't alone. She squinted into the shadows and asked, "Edward, is that you? What are you doing here? Bella didn't tell me you were coming." Renee eyed me curiously and I simply shrugged in response. She saw the look on my face and figured that I was just as surprised as she was to see Edward. Then her eyes seemed to take in the form of a 6'7" tall Jacob standing next to me. She looked me in the eye and gave me a conspiratorial wink as if to say she knew exactly what was going on. It was like she was happy to see two men fighting over her daughter. She looked at Jacob and said, "You must be Jacob. It's so nice to finally meet you." Jacob took his eyes off of Edward long enough to flash his brilliant smile at Renee.

Renee couldn't help but smile back at Jacob. I chuckled slightly seeing how she was so easily won over by Jacob's charms. He really could make everyone fall in love with him. Renee gathered herself enough to ask, "Well, would you all like to come in? Jacob, Edward, will you be staying with us?"

I didn't let them answer. I needed to take control of this potentially volatile situation. "No, Mom, Edward was just leaving."

I didn't know who was more surprised. Jacob looked as though I had just pulled the rug out from under him. His eyes were wide with disbelief and pride. Edward, on the other hand, was seething with anger. He looked at me as though I had betrayed him.

"Mom, could you take Jake inside and introduce him to Phil? I need to talk to Edward alone."

Renee worriedly replied, "Sure, uh, Jake are you hungry?"

Jacob smiled and replied, "Always."

Before Jake followed Renee into the house, he gave Edward one last angry look. He looked back at me and gave me a reassuring smile. I don't know what he was thinking, but whatever it was it didn't make Edward happy. Edward growled at Jacob's retreating form. I could tell he was using all of his strength not to rip Jake's head off. Jacob gave me one last look and shrugged his shoulders in a silent apology. Edward used his vampire speed and was standing immediately in front of me before Renee had even closed the door.

"Bella, what is going on here? Why were you and Jacob kissing, _again_? And why did you tell your mother that I was leaving? I just got here!"

"Edward, I'm sorry you had to find out like this. But instead of demanding answers from me why don't you provide some of your own? Why are you here Edward?"

"I already told you that, Bella. Your future disappeared. I came to see if you were okay."

"Edward, when did you get here?"

"Bella, why are you avoiding the subject?"

"It seems to me that you're the one avoiding the subject. Please, answer me."

"This is ridiculous, Bella. I told you I got here a few hours ago. Now, can we get to the real issue here?"

"Actually, Edward, you said you've been waiting here for _hours_. You said you didn't follow me to the beach in the _morning_ because of the sunlight. It's at least a five hour flight from Seattle to…" I paused, letting the realization wash over me. "Oh, God, you didn't?"

I was so overcome that I had to sit down on the porch to avoid fainting. Edward rushed to my side, his anger forgotten.

"Bella, love, what's wrong? Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

I just sat there on the porch, dumbfounded. All the strange conversations with Alice and Edward over the past few weeks finally made sense. They were never together when I talked to them. Alice was always evasive and dismissive when I asked her how Edward was doing. She was lying for him. The dream I had that first night here when I thought Edward was watching me sleep; his scent was in the room when I woke up. Of course, his scent was in the room. He'd been here the whole time, watching me, even though he promised he'd give me my space. I was conflicted. I should be furious with him for betraying me like that. But I was just overwhelmingly disappointed because a part of me never expected him to keep his promises. Edward threw his arm over my shoulders and cradled my body close to his. I was still too in shock to resist.

"Bella, look, I'm not mad. Clearly Jacob must have surprised you by showing up. He really does seem to have the knack for catching you at your most vulnerable. He took advantage of you, so I can excuse your moment of weakness. I just wish you would have called me. I was so worried." He rubbed my back reassuringly.

In an instant, the shock ebbed and the rage flowed. Yes, I had kissed Jake, but in my heart, I hadn't cheated on Edward. As far as I was concerned, I had already made my decision to be with Jacob before he ever showed up. Sure, Edward didn't know that, but here he was being condescending towards me while he's been lying to me for three weeks.

"Edward, are you even listening to yourself right now? _You're _'not mad,' 'Jake took advantage' of me? Are you insane? Edward, you've been here the whole time! When you promised me you'd stay away and give me my space, were you lying then or did you intend to keep that promise all of a minute before you made your flight arrangements?"

Edward withdrew his arm from my shoulders. He stepped off the porch and started pacing on the lawn. "Bella, be serious. I just got here. You have a vivid imagination."

I looked up at him and snapped, "Edward that crap didn't work on me with Tyler's van and it's not going to work on me now. You've been caught in a lie and you still can't admit it. And you conned Alice into helping you. What did you bribe her with Edward? Was it worth it?"

"Bella, I'm sorry. Okay, yes I came here the same day you did, but I've been keeping my distance. I only came to your room that first night to make sure you were alright. I've been staying at a hotel downtown just so I'd be close in case you needed me."

There were no words for how I was feeling at that moment. I was only able to choke out a simple,"Why?"

"As soon as you decided to go to Jacksonville, Alice told me that your future got hazy. It didn't disappear, but it wasn't clear anymore. I knew that I had to come to protect you against all possibilities. Bella ever since I met you I've been here to protect you from harm."

"And what did Alice say when you made the decision to follow me?"

"Well, she said I'd regret it, which obviously I do if I've upset you. But, Bella, I was just doing what was best for you. I was looking out for you, like always."

I sat there letting his excuses sink in. The audacity. "Edward there's so much wrong with what you just said that I don't even know where to begin. Bottom line, I asked you to give me my space, regardless of whatever visions Alice may have. You promised me that you would, then left for Jacksonville the same day I did, and you've been lying to me for three weeks. You even had Alice lying to me for you and all to preserve my 'safety.' Did you even think about preserving my trust?"

Edward was still pacing. He looked worried by my reaction. As usual, he thought he had "right" on his side. He was confused and hurt that I was so angry. He walked towards me and knelt in front of me. He grabbed my hands and held them in his and said, "Bella, I only came to protect you. I thought you would understand. Your future got hazy. Was I just supposed to stand by and let that happen?"

I looked him in the eyes and said coldly, "Yes, Edward, that's exactly what you should have done, because you promised me you would. Did it ever occur to you that my future got hazy because I was unsure about us? Did it cross your mind ever that your over-protectiveness and your insistence that you know what's best for me is a big part of that? Don't you see that every time you question a choice I make, you're basically telling me that I don't know what I want? Uggh! I'm so mad right now, but really I only have myself to blame. I've let you get away with this behavior for too long. I never stood up to you before, why would you listen to me now?"

"Bella, I know you're upset right now, but you need to understand that I didn't do anything I didn't think was right. I love you. I'm here to protect you." He paused to stroke my cheek with the back of his hand. "I think you need to calm down so we can figure this all out."

So the ends justify the means? To hell with that! I was so frustrated with him. He just wasn't getting it. It's like he had special glasses with which to view our relationship. Everything he did, he did for a reason, and therefore, it must be the right reason. I wanted to scream. Then I thought, why not? Maybe that might get his attention. Edward just stood there staring at me silently wishing he knew what was going on in my closed mind. I jumped up from the porch and let out a frustrated yell into the night for all the neighbors to hear. I sensed, rather than saw, Jacob's presence at the front window. I knew he'd just check to see if I was okay and then leave me to my private conversation. I was grateful for that. I was still shaking from my outburst when Edward chided, "Really, Bella? That was mature."

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I closed the distance between us and actually jabbed him in the chest with my index finger. "Oh, I'm not mature, Edward? You tell me how I should behave then. After all, you always do. Let's think about some of the mature and responsible decisions you've made, shall we? Let's see, my personal favorite is lying to me and telling me you didn't love me anymore then disappearing with your family for six months while a crazed vampire hunted me. Hmm, how did that work out for you Edward?" I was still poking him in the chest trying to get my point across. Edward was wincing in pain at the memory of his fateful decision. I was on a roll and I felt that if I stopped now, I'd never tell him exactly how I felt. "Then, you come back and tell me I can't spend time with Jacob and the rest of the pack because they're too dangerous and reckless."

Edward jumped at the mere mention of Jacob's name and replied, "Well, apparently I had cause to be concerned about Jacob, as his presence here confirms."

"Yeah, you did, but not because he's a werewolf." Edward was stunned and confused by my admission, but I continued. "Edward, you had your sister kidnap me and hold me hostage so that I couldn't spend time with my best friend. My "boyfriend" thought it wasn't safe for me to hang out with the one person who kept me sane while you were gone. I put up with it, but I don't know why. When you told me what I could and could not do, you were basically telling me that I didn't know what I was doing and that I couldn't be expected to make my own choices. Edward, you may think you're doing all of this out of love and good intentions, but it's degrading. I already have a father, I don't need another one."

"That's ridiculous Bella. I'm just trying to keep you safe. And, for the record, a bunch of juvenile werewolves are not safe to be around."

"Well neither is a house full of vampires, but you should trust _my_ judgment." My anger was dissipating and was being replaced with resignation. I dropped my hand from Edward's chest and looked at him pleadingly when I asked, "Edward, why do you love me?"

He seemed taken aback by the change in direction the conversation was taking. He closed the gap between us and put his hands on my face, lifting my chin until my eyes met his. He flashed my favorite crooked grin and said, "Bella, I love you for who you are."

My heart broke in that instant because I realized his smile had no more power over me. I replied sadly, "And who am I Edward? Who am I if I can't make my own decisions, if I can't fend for myself? You love me like I'm some fragile doll that you can mold and bend to do your will, but not as an equal. I need a lover, not a protector."

His eyes looked sad and tormented. He still gripped my face in his hands. "Bella, I'm a vampire. The only way we can be equals is for you to become one of us. I promised I would do that for you once we got married. Isn't that enough? Is that why you keep reaching out to Jacob? I can't give you that physical aspect yet, so you find it with him? Don't you understand that I want to be your lover _and_ protector?"

I placed my hands on top of Edward's and said, "I'm not talking about physical equality Edward. We could be equals, right now, but you're too afraid. The fact that you're a vampire has never been _my_ issue. That's your issue. I've always loved you regardless of what you are. You use the fact that you're a vampire as a barrier between us. It's the line I can't cross, because you won't let me. You lie to me to shield my poor feeble mind from harsh realities associated with your kind. You tell me that I don't know what dangers I'm facing and that is why I need protection. You don't seem to understand that the moment I knew you were a vampire I accepted a lot of things as a given. I loved you. I understood that vampires were dangerous, but I knew you would never hurt me. I trusted you. That's what people do when they love each other, regardless of the circumstances. I just wish you could have trusted me. You make decisions for me to avoid hurting me. But, taking away my ability to choose what I want for myself is the most hurtful thing you've ever done. Don't you get it? It's not the vampire in you that hurts me, it's the man. I need someone who I can make decisions with, not someone who's going to make them for me. I need a partner."

I squeezed his hands on my face and said, "I'm sorry, Edward. I love you, I always will. But I have to choose my own path. I want my life to be with Jacob."

Edward's hands dropped as if he'd just been burned. The pain evident on his face was breaking my heart. I reached out to comfort him, but he shook me off. He took a couple of steps backwards then turned away from me. I saw him raise a hand to his head and assumed he was pinching the bridge of his nose like he always does when he's frustrated. Then he turned abruptly and faced me. This time, all I saw in his eyes was determination. "Bella, I love you. You're the love of my existence. Please, I'll change you now if you'll let me. I need you in my life. We can be equals. I'm nothing without you."

"Edward, that's just not true. You are an amazing person. I love you, but not in the way you need me to. It's not enough anymore. I've grown and changed since I met you. I want different things now. I'm not the one for you Edward. I'm not the one."

All hope faded from Edward's eyes. His shoulders sank in defeat. I knew I was breaking his heart, but I knew it was the right thing to do. He would love again. I couldn't help the tears falling from my eyes. Although this was my choice it didn't change the sadness I felt that something wonderful was coming to an end.

"Bella…"

"Yes, Edward?"

"You're right, about everything. I never treated you as I should have. I was too preoccupied with my own issues to notice that I was preventing us from really connecting. I discouraged you from being you, which is the worst possible thing I can think to do."

"Edward, I don't want you to feel as though you and your family need to run away. I love you all. I would love it if you all could still be part of my life in some way. But, if you do decide that you need to leave, please give me the chance to say good-bye."

He replied with a sad look on his face. "For what it's worth, I promise you that we won't ever leave without telling you first. Even if I wanted to, that's a promise Alice is going to make sure I keep. I'll always watch over you, Bella."

"No, Edward!" That came out angrier and more forceful than I had intended. But, it just illustrated the fact that although Edward heard everything I had said, he still wasn't listening to me. "Edward, I can't have you lurking in the shadows, watching over me while I sleep. That's not your job anymore. You can't save me from heartache. You can't save me from grief. You can't save me from my bad luck or from my clumsiness. I'd really like it if we could be friends. But, if that's too hard for you then I understand. I just want to make it perfectly clear to you that I don't need you monitoring me. More importantly, I don't want you to. It's time you realize that though I'm much younger and less experienced, I am an adult. I can make my own decisions and I can handle the consequences for my decisions. You may think I've lost my mind, but I know what I'm doing with Jacob. There are no guarantees in life. I'm well aware of the possibility that Jacob may imprint on someone one day. But, I'm willing to take that chance, Edward. You, of all people, should know that I'm willing to do just about anything for love. Jacob trusts me and respects me as his equal. I have to follow my heart. I hope you can understand that some day."

Edward was deep in thought. His mind was elsewhere. It looked as though he was trying to read someone's thoughts. Since he couldn't read mine, I wondered which one of my loved ones inside was having his/her mind invaded at this very moment. Then Edward smirked and chuckled as if he realized something that hadn't occurred to me yet. He had a cold, bitter look on his face when he said, "Bella, I think you're totally wrong about this. If you need to figure things out with Jacob first, then by all means, go ahead. But, I'm not going to stick around and watch you do it. I hope Jacob realizes just how lucky he is, even if it is just temporary. He's going to hurt you and when he does, I'll be waiting for you. Good-bye, Bella." And with that he walked back into the shadows and disappeared.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. **

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

I stood on the porch looking into the darkness where Edward disappeared. It was actually over between us. I waited for the gut-wrenching grief to overwhelm me, but it never came. I suppose deep down I knew that it was truly over between us when he first left me. I grieved for him then. I thought my world; my life was over then. Even when he came back, I never trusted him fully. I couldn't spend one night without him for fear that he wouldn't come back. I was paralyzed with fears of abandonment. I didn't like that I needed him so much. I didn't like how weak that made me. He spent those nights reassuring me that he'd stay with me as long as I needed him. But, what if _he_ decided that I didn't need him anymore? He showed me today that he was incapable of keeping his promises and that it was easy for him to lie to me repeatedly. Where there is no trust, there can be no real lasting love. We had something beautiful. It was the kind of love people write poetry about, sing songs about. But it was never meant to last. We really were Romeo and Juliet. Our love was so passionate and all-consuming that it burned until there was nothing left. Instead of ending in tragedy, we simply drifted apart.

Edward's parting words disturbed me. 'He's going to hurt you.' He seemed so sure that Jacob would hurt me and that I'd come running back to him. Little did he know that if things didn't work out with Jake that I had no intention of going back to Edward. That ship had already sailed. I loved Edward, and I always would. But, we could never be together again. We just didn't belong together, no matter how hard we tried to fit. I knew full well that Jacob had the potential to hurt me. You always hurt the one you love, right? It was inevitable. But I knew in my heart that Jacob was worth that risk. I knew whatever challenges or obstacles we faced, we would face them together. I trusted Jake. I was sad that Edward was so upset. I already missed the closeness that we shared. But this wasn't like the last time he left when he arbitrarily decided to abscond with my future. This time, I knew that my future, the one_ I_ chose, was waiting for me inside.

I walked inside to find Renee and Phil cuddled up on the couch watching TV. Jacob was nowhere in sight. Renee approached me with a concerned look on her face. "Bella, honey, what was that all about? Why were you screaming? Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, Mom, everything's alright. I broke up with Edward. It was pretty tense for a moment, but I think I said everything that needed to be said." I didn't feel like going into the specifics even though I knew Renee was chomping at the bit to hear more. I looked around the room again and searched the darkened kitchen for any signs of Jacob. Renee followed my gaze and said, "Jacob's in your room. We were eating dinner and he just got up and said that he wasn't hungry anymore. He said he'd like to lie down for a bit. He didn't look too well, now that I think about it."

Jacob wasn't hungry? He really must be upset. Possibly more than I was. Edward's sudden appearance clearly had an effect on him. After everything I had put him through I couldn't blame him for thinking the worst of me. He probably thinks I'm trying to figure out how to break it off with him and run away with Edward. I had to earn his trust. Renee interrupted my train of thought when she said**,** "Bella, honey are you okay?"

"Yes, Mom, I just really need to talk to Jacob right now."

"Okay, sweetie, I'll leave some blankets and pillows on the couch for Jacob since I assume he's going to be staying with us, right?" She smiled knowingly.

"Yes, he'll be staying. Thank you."

"Of course, Bella. He seems like a really sweet boy. Not as intense as Edward, but I don't doubt that he's just as devoted to you. He really is head over heels in love with you."

Phil chimed in, "Yeah kiddo. He seems really cool. Definitely more personable than that Ed…"

Renee cut him off with one look. Phil shrugged and protested, "What did I say?"

Renee turned her attention back to me and whispered, "Just ignore him. Go, talk to Jacob. Phil and I are going to be going to bed soon. There's plenty of food in the fridge for you. We'll talk in the morning?"

I responded as though in a daze, "Sure, sure. Goodnight." Jacob was 'head over heels' in love with me? I knew that, but a part of me wanted to dance for joy at hearing it said out loud.

I walked down the hall to my room. I didn't know what was waiting for me behind my bedroom door, but I decided to find out quickly and get it over with. Jacob was sitting at the edge of the bed with his head down, resting in his hands. His shoulders were slumped and he didn't look up when he heard me enter. It broke my heart to see him defeated, especially when I knew he didn't have to be.

"Jake…," I began, but he interrupted me.

"Bella, don't." He finally looked into my eyes and the pain I saw in his was excruciating. He continued with anguish in his voice, "I don't think I can handle your explanation right now. I get it. I fell for it again. I'm leaving…so…that's it then." He stood up and headed for the door. I blocked him by pressing my body up against it. He attempted to get to the doorknob by reaching around me. When I blocked him again he simply gave up and sat back down on the bed.

Since he was my captive audience, I started to explain. "Jake, I know you're upset right now, but you have no reason to be. Edward is gone. It's over between us. I was nothing but honest with you today. My future is with you. Jacob, I love you." I walked slowly towards him. I reached out and caressed his cheek. His big brown eyes met mine. I tried to convey the honesty and sincerity I felt. I tried to convince him of the truth of my words. He was quiet for a moment, but then understanding flashed through his eyes. I knew he believed me and that we would get through this.

"Bells, I'm sorry I doubted you. It's just that I've been in this position before when Edward shows up and everything we had, or could have had, all goes to hell. Today was the best day of my life. When Edward showed up, I just assumed…well I assumed the worst. I'm sorry." He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into the V formed by his legs. Because of his height, his head rested against my breasts. His head, his face had never been that close to this part of my body. I tensed at first because of the new contact, but then relaxed into it. I loved him so much that I didn't care where he was touching me as long as I could hold him close and comfort him like he did for me all those months ago. I clung to him and ran my fingers through his hair.

"Bella, I'm in love with you. You make me so happy, just being with you. I just feel that because I love you so much that it also means you can hurt me more than anyone else. I don't want to be hurt."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. "Jacob, I'm sorry for hurting you. We're in this together now. We don't have to be afraid anymore."

Jake tilted his head up and looked into my eyes. I felt his large, warm hands grip my hips. His eyes were filled with love and lust and it made my legs weak. Jacob seemed to notice the effect he had on me and guided me so that I was sitting on his lap. With one hand now wrapped around my waist for support he reached the other hand to my face. Our eyes locked. The sexual tension in the air was palpable. This would be our first kiss without any external boundaries. There was no Edward. There would be no guilt associated with this kiss. Jacob leaned in and our lips met. I felt a spark rush straight to my heart at the touch. I wondered if he felt the same thing. His warm, soft lips molded to mine. We kissed sweetly and tenderly until I needed some air. I looked into Jacob's eyes and saw that there was nothing but love for me. He loved me with all my flaws and he didn't want to change me.

His lips crashed into mine again, but this time it was driven by fire, passion, and a sense of urgency. It was as if this was a fleeting moment we might never recapture, and we wanted to have a lifetime's worth of memories. His hand that had previously supported my back moved up to the back of my head where he fisted my hair and pulled me closer to him. He ignited the lust in me and I responded by positioning myself so that I was now straddling his lap. A soft groan escaped his lips when I did that and his tongue licked my bottom lip asking for entrance. Our tongues danced back and forth and I couldn't get enough of his sweet taste. He leaned back onto the bed pulling me down on top of him.

In this new position I could feel Jacob's large arousal through the swim trunks he was still wearing. Jake's hands rubbed circles along my back setting my skin on fire. One hand travelled past my waist and hip and cupped my bottom. He squeezed firmly and positioned my center over his so that he could grind against me. A part of me wanted to touch and devour every part of him right there. But another part of me felt we were going too fast. I wanted to slow things down a bit. Wow, did I really just think that? Since when was I the cautious one when it came to love or sex? I knew I didn't want to go at a snail's pace, but I didn't know if I wanted to go at a wolf's pace either. Which animal did I want to be like? Why am I thinking about animals right now? I just wanted to enjoy this aspect of our relationship before we went too far too soon.

As if he could read my mind, Jacob broke our kiss. His breath was ragged and I could feel his heart pounding. I was speechless and all Jacob could manage was, "Wow!" He had a wonderfully blissful smirk on his face. We started giggling uncontrollably. The friction from our laughing bodies only helped to illustrate the need to separate until wecould cool down a bit. I rolled off of Jake and lay next to him on my side. He was flat on his back staring at the ceiling with a dumb grin on his face. His legs were hanging over the side of the bed with his feet resting on the floor. He wrapped one arm around my shoulders and the other wrapped around my waist. I rested one hand on his sculpted stomach.

Jacob finally spoke, "Bells, you're killing me here. Do you even realize how hot you are? I don't think you know what you do to me." I thought of his hard member pressing into my center just moments ago and replied, "I think I have an idea." He chuckled and squeezed my body tighter to his.

"Look, Bells, I just want you to know that I love you and there's not a moment that goes by when I don't…want you…physically. I'm not rushing towards anything here. I think I've proven that I'm a pretty patient guy. So, you set the pace here, okay? Just know that I'm ready, for anything, whenever you are." He kissed me on my forehead letting me know without question that I was both safe and loved.

Being with Jacob felt so liberating. Edward had taught me what it felt like to be in love. But, Jacob had shown me what it was to feel like a woman in love. He respected me, trusted me. He knew me better than I knew myself. And, he _wanted_ me. His eyes always held equal parts love and desire for me. The fact that he wanted me physically just as much as I wanted him made me feel normal. I didn't feel like the horny teenager who needs to know where her boundaries are. I didn't have to worry about my advances being rejected. Jacob wasn't holding back 'for my own good.' He was holding back because he adored and respected me. He wanted what we did to be my choice. I felt loved, sexy, and desired. I had never felt more alive.

We were both inexperienced with the physical expressions of love. We'd be going through it together, at our own pace. Jacob wouldn't hurt me. I didn't have to worry about him losing control, unless of course I wanted him to! That idea was so exciting that my cheeks flushed and my pulse raced. I knew Jacob would notice. I buried my face into his shoulder to hide my embarrassment. Jacob kissed the top of my head and I felt his lips spread into a wide smile. "Why are you blushing Bells? Thinking about me again?" I slapped him playfully on his firm stomach. His arrogance could be annoying and yet charming at the same time. "Jake you're incorrigible."

"I can't help it honey. Knowing that you love me brings that out in me." We were silent for a moment. We were lost in the warmth of our bodies when Jacob said, "Now, where were we? Right, you were about to give me a detailed play by play description of that dream you had about us in bed together."

I leaned away from him so that I could look at him better. Wide-eyed with embarrassment I said, "I most certainly was NOT! I only mentioned that dream in passing. I…I didn't have any intention of giving you any of the seedy details."

"Seedy, huh? Come on Bells…start from the beginning. What were you wearing, or not wearing as the case may be?"

I let out an exasperated sigh and said, "Oh Jake!"

To which he immediately replied, "Yeah, that's it. Now we're talking. Then what happened?"

I grabbed a pillow from the head of the bed and smacked him in the face. He responded in mock misery, "What? You're the one with the dirty mind here. I was just trying to open the lines of communication between us. Excuse me for caring."

"You were trying to 'open the lines of communication?' Jake, you've been watching too much Dr. Phil."

"Well, it does seem to be my dad's favorite show." He flashed his beautiful smile at me and we both started laughing. It was so refreshing to be happy about simple mundane things. I sat up looking at Jacob's large form lying sideways on my small bed. He was so beautiful. He was the happy Jacob who first healed my broken heart, and I loved him. I was staring, but Jacob just returned my gaze, smiling contentedly. After a few minutes of silence, Jacob sheepishly remarked, "Hey Bells, I'm kind of hungry. Let's get something to eat."

I smiled. "I thought you would be. We haven't eaten in hours. Come on, Renee said there was plenty of food in the fridge."

We walked out of my bedroom hand in hand. Renee and Phil hadn't moved from the position where I last left them. Renee smiled warmly at us. She came up to me and said, "We'll be going to bed soon so you two can spend some time alone. Feel free to stay up and watch some movies…or… whatever." God, I was so embarrassed. My mom was totally trying to be my wing-man and give me _alone_ _time_ with my boyfriend. I wonder how Charlie would handle the same situation. Ah, yes, the shotgun, right. On the other hand, it is Jacob so…no, if he knew the kind of thoughts I had about Jacob then the shotgun would definitely be displayed prominently at the Swan residence.

Jacob just smiled and laughed it off and proceeded to raid the fridge. I ended up heating some grilled chicken and veggies. I found the left over pizza from last night's botched slumber party and gave it to Jacob as an appetizer to tide him over until dinner was ready. We ate at the kitchen table. We laughed and talked about Jacob's various adventures on his cross-country ride. When I mentioned Billy we both froze and dropped our forks on our plates. We stared at each other wide-eyed.

"Oh shit!" Jacob whispered. He hadn't called Billy and had just given his father another full day of not knowing where his son was or even if he was alive. I tossed my cell phone at him and said, "Here, call him NOW! Honestly, Jacob, how could you forget?"

"Bells, obviously I wasn't thinking. I was a little preoccupied. He'll understand." He got up from the table and walked out the front door to speak to his father in private. I cleared the table and washed our dishes. As I was putting the plates away Renee walked into the kitchen. I turned to her;she had and expectant grin on her face.

"Well?"

I looked at her confusedly, "Well, what?"

"Honey, you just had the two boys you're in love with show up, unannounced, on the very same day. When I saw you all on the front porch it looked like a scene from a movie. So, come on, spill it. What made you decide? And, is that Jacob's bike out front? Did he ride it all the way out here? How long is he staying? Are you leaving with him?" She was rambling now. She was acting like a child with an unlimited supply of questions.

"Mom, relax! I think you know why I chose Jacob. He makes me happy. Besides, I think you knew I was going to choose him before I did." I looked at her as if daring her to disagree. She replied,

"Well, I did know that that's where your heart would take you. But, I knew that you needed to come to that decision on your own. There was no point in me telling you the obvious when you weren't ready to see it. Just ask Jacob about how well that works."

I replied, "Yeah, well, after our talk last night I realized just how important Jake was to me. We can be partners, equals. And I love him so much. He makes me feel safe and loved without feeling like I'm being guarded all the time. I can be free with him. I guess I knew all along that he was the one."

Renee's smile was huge when she said, "Baby, I'm so happy for you. You've changed so much since the last time I saw you. You've always been a smart girl. But, now I think you're stronger. You know what you want and you're not afraid to go out and get it no matter the cost. That's really brave honey. I know how much you love Edward, but I think you made the right choice for you."

"Thanks mom, for everything."

"Of course, Bella. Now tell me, where did Jake go?"

"Oh, just outside to call his father. Apparently he didn't bother to let him know he was coming out to visit me." She didn't need to know the sordid details about Jacob running away because I was going to marry a vampire. Renee was thoughtful before she spoke again. "Well, that doesn't seem too responsible of him."

"I know, but under the circumstances, I understand. He's a really responsible person in general. He's helped take care of his father for years and he has a huge leadership role in his tribe. We all make mistakes. Don't let this one act cloud the way you see him, please."

"Of course I won't Bella. I was just wondering about how _responsible_ the two of you will be together."

I was mortified. She was _not_ talking about sex, was she? I mean, I was almost 19 years old. Surely she didn't expect me to talk about my sex life, or lack thereof? Renee saw the look of embarrassment on my face. She put an arm around my shoulder in a reassuring, motherly gesture. "Bella, I just want you to be safe. I know he's younger than you, but he doesn't look it, and he sure as hell doesn't act like it. You're dealing with a full-fledged man out there."

Oh. My. God. Please just let me die right now.

"Honey, don't be embarrassed. We're all adults here. I just want you to be clear about how fast or slow you want things to go…"

"MOM! God, we just became a couple TODAY! What's with the sex talk? Didn't we already have this when I was ten?"

"I know, but Jacob's your best friend. _And_ you're in love with each other. I'm just saying that things could move a lot faster than you might anticipate considering you already have a strong foundation. It doesn't hurt to be prepared. I don't need to be a grandmother before my time. Now, when you go to buy the condoms…"

And of course, Jacob walked into the room right at that exact moment. I wanted to disappear into the wall. My face turned beet red and Renee in an act of mercy finally stopped talking. Jacob had the stupidest grin on his face, but otherwise acted oblivious to the scene in front of him. I knew he had heard everything she said but he played dumb and asked, "Hey, did I miss anything?"

Before I could answer, Renee said, "No, Jacob, not at all. I was just telling Bella goodnight." She leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. She patted Jacob on the arm and said, "Jake, please make yourself at home. Bella will make up the couch for you. I hope you two will be _responsible_ for locking up after yourselves, right? See you in the morning." She winked at me before turning around and walking towards her bedroom.

I was speechless. Jacob simply walked up to me and wrapped me in his warm arms. I relaxed into his strong embrace. He chuckled into my hair and said, "So, your mom thinks I'm a full-fledged man, huh? What do you think about that?" He was doing this on purpose. He just wanted to make me blush more than I already was. I replied angrily, "Jacob Black, you shut up! I've just been embarrassed completely by my mother in front of my boyfriend. I don't need you starting in on me now too!" He simply replied in a seductive whisper, "Yes, ma'am! Anything you say. Boyfriend, huh? I could get used to that." And then he smiled at me and all my anger melted away.

I decided that we were both in desperate need of a shower. I wanted to wash off the salt and lotion from my body and to wash away the negative events of the day. I offered to shower first. (Jacob suggested I make it a cold one.) When I got out Jacob took his turn. I rummaged through my clothes and found a cute cotton pajama set Renee had bought me. I put on the pink tank top and red shorts. I decided to forego the bra opting for ultimate comfort. When Jacob walked out of the bathroom wearing nothing but his old sweatpants, I figured he had the same idea.

We stayed up all night talking on the couch. Jacob laid across the couch holding my body to his. My back was pressed firmly to his chest and our legs were intertwined. We talked about everything. He told me how he patched things up with Billy. He said that Billy wasn't really angry, just happy that he was safe. When I asked him what Billy thought of us, he said he didn't really say much. I was glad that Jacob wasn't trying to gloss over the fact that Billy and the pack might not be as excited about our relationship as we were. After breaking Jacob's heart, I wasn't exactly their favorite person right now. Jacob assured me that once they saw that we were officially together they would all come around. To be honest, I was so happy with Jacob that I couldn't be bothered to win anyone over. He was confident that they would come around and that was good enough for me. I loved Jacob and he loved me. Everyone else would just have to fall in line.

We were locked in each other's arms throughout the night. We would fall in and out of sleep but we fought the exhaustion. It became clear that neither of us wanted this day to end. We talked about our childhoods, our mothers, our fathers. We talked about when we knew we were in love and we talked a lot about our future. I had never felt so comfortable, so loved, or more at peace in my life. Jacob had become the man of my dreams. Being in his arms was heaven on earth.

The sun came up and we were still talking and holding each other despite our drowsiness. I decided to take a bathroom break to freshen up. I dislodged myself from Jacob's arms after I noticed that he dozed off. I walked quietly to the bathroom and went through my morning routine. When I looked at my reflection I saw that I was practically glowing. Being in love really suited me. I left the bathroom to find Jacob in the exact position as the one I had left him in. He was beautiful when he slept. All his cares and worries melted away and he was my handsome Jacob. I just stood there staring at his gorgeous face, his chiseled chest and muscular abs. His perfection was covered only by his low-slung sweatpants. I decided that I needed to make breakfast now to take my mind off of his…perfect…body. If I kept ogling him like this I might just attack him. Calm down, Bella.

I walked into the kitchen to see what we had in the fridge. I pulled out a dozen eggs, some milk, juice, onions and peppers. I figured omelets would be a good start. I placed the pots and pans on the stove top and jumped in surprise as two warm hands slipped around my waist and rested on my hips. Jacob breathed down into my ear and said, "Good morning, beautiful. I didn't mean to startle you." He kissed me on my neck and his lips moved down to my shoulder. His hands moved up my shirt and rested on my bare stomach. His tongue licked slowly and seductively up my neck while he pulled my backside against his now hard member. He whispered, "Mmm, Bella, have I ever told you how good you smell?" He didn't wait for my reply, not that I could have formulated words at that point. "Because, you taste even better."

I nearly came undone. I turned around so I was facing him. Jacob wasn't smiling anymore. Instead, he was staring at my lips with a hungry look in his eyes that made moisture pool between my legs. I noticed his gaze drop to my breasts and pert nipples poking through my thin tank top. His eyes returned to mine with a renewed fire. All I wanted was to feel his lips on mine and my body pressed tightly against his. It always surprised me how he seemed to read my mind because he hungrily crushed his lips to mine. His lips were trying to devour me and I was more than willing to let him. He pulled me tighter to him while pushing me up against the kitchen counter. Before I knew what was happening his strong hands gripped my bottom and squeezed. I moaned into his mouth. He took that as a sign of encouragement and lifted me easily up so that I was now sitting on the counter top. This new angle made it easier to touch him and kiss him everywhere I wanted to; his neck, his perfect chest, his soft luscious lips. My hands found their way into his silky hair. His tongue danced with mine in a tantalizing ballet. I sucked on and gently bit his lower lip eliciting a sexy groan from him. I wrapped my legs around his waist because as close as we were, I couldn't get close enough. Jacob's right hand traveled slowly up my body. His warm hand caressed my outer thigh and squeezed tightly. It then moved up my hip to my waist. Finally his fingers teased their way up to my breast. His large hand cupped my breast while his thumb stroked my now erect nipple. I moaned into his mouth at the new sensation when I heard,

"Good morning kids…whoa, what the hell?"

Damn you Phil!


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, but with the holidays it was hard to get this chapter finished. I hope you all like it. Please read and review. Thanks for all the great reviews for the last chapter. It's really nice to hear from such wonderful people who share a common obsession.**

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

Here I was, sitting on my mother's kitchen counter with my legs wrapped around a tall, dark, and gorgeous boy when in walks Phil! Jake and I froze staring wide-eyed at each other.

"Bella, Jake, what the…? Oh, God, uh, I gotta go." And with that Phil scrambled out of the room as if he'd seen a ghost.

I was still frozen in shock. I looked down and noticed Jacob's hand still clutching my breast. "Jake!"

"Huh, what? Oh…" He quickly dropped both hands to rest on either side of me on the counter top. I sat there trying to recover from the most mortifying, humiliating experience of my life when I heard an unexpected sound. Jacob started laughing. It started out as an amused chuckle and then grew into a bellowing roar. Jacob was laughing so hard that his body was shaking and tears were in his eyes. He rested his forehead against mine and gave me his brilliant smile. I leaned back and stared at him dumbfounded.

"Jake, it's not funny! How can you be laughing at a time like this?" He looked at me questioningly. His smile faded and was replaced with a look of confusion.

"Bells, are you seriously upset?"

"Jacob, how can you not be? We were just caught groping each other by my stepfather. I'm so embarrassed right now…" I couldn't even finish the thought. I just buried my face in my hands. I felt Jacob's strong hands pry them away. "Bells, honey," he chuckled, "yes it's embarrassing, but it's not that bad." He was trying to placate me but it wasn't working. "Bella, come on, I promise you it's not as bad as you think it is." As he was talking his hands moved down to my hips and he stepped closer to me. He whispered seductively in my ear, "Now, where were we?" He leaned in to kiss me. I was so overwhelmed with his charm, his scent, that I almost forgot why I was so mad. His lips gently brushed against mine when I snapped out of it.

I pushed Jake off of me and hopped down from the counter. He stepped back in surprise. "Damn it, Jake! What is your problem?" I attempted to brush past him, but he wasn't having it. He gently, but firmly grabbed my arm and asked, "Where do you think you're going?"

Looking into his warm, concerned eyes, I didn't really know anymore. I remembered being angry, but I couldn't remember why. He grabbed my other arm and placed both around his waist. He raised his hands back to my face and said, "Bells, its okay. You're in love with a werewolf now. You do realize that the pack is going to know just about every intimate detail of our relationship, right?" I stiffened and let out a surprised squeak at the realization. I had been so caught up in my feelings for Jacob that I forgot he was essentially a package deal. If I wanted Jacob, then I was getting the pack too. And they got me!

Jacob continued while stroking my face, "I wish I could protect you from that, but I can't. I love you. You're beautiful to me, inside and out. It's really hard for me to keep my hands off of you. When Phil came in, I was just as embarrassed as you were. For God's sake he caught me 'literally' red-handed." My mind flashed to Jacob's hand on my breast and I blushed immediately. If Jacob noticed he didn't say anything about it. He simply squeezed me tighter and said, "But, honey, it's okay to laugh about stuff like that. I don't think we should have to apologize for how we feel about each other, or how we want to show it. So, what do you say, you forgive me?"

He bent down and whispered kisses up my neck and along my jaw until we were face to face. He kissed me sweetly on the lips and I sighed as I knew that he was making sense. I hated it when he was the sensible one and I was the crazed temperamental one. I hugged him tightly. "Damn you, Jake. I hate it when you're the mature one."

He laughed, "Aw, come on, Bells. Someone's gotta be."

He squeezed me close and kissed me on the cheek. I took a moment to enjoy his tender kiss before turning to the stove-top and the food on the counter. I started preparing breakfast. Jacob offered to help but I banished him to the kitchen table when he kept getting eggshells in the bowl. When I accused him of doing it on purpose to avoid doing any work, he pretended to be offended and pouted until breakfast was ready. I finished the omelets and set the plates down on the table. I sat down to eat just as Renee walked into the kitchen. She had a knowing grin on her face as she bent down to kiss me on the cheek. She simply said, "Good morning," and proceeded to pour herself some coffee.

Jake and I had just started eating when Renee said, "So, it looks like I missed the early show!" She laughed when she took in our expressions. "I wish I could have seen the look on your face Bella! If it was anything like Phil's, then I'm sure it would've been the funniest thing I've ever seen." She laughed again and this time Jacob joined in. I glared at him and he shrugged his shoulders and asked, "What?!"

Renee leaned back against the counter sipping her coffee. "Oh, Bella, don't worry I'm not going to torture you _too_ much. So, Jake, how long are you planning on staying with us?"

I looked up at Jacob inquiringly because I realized after all we talked about last night, we never talked about how long he would stay or when he was leaving. Jake replied, "Well, I've been thinking that I should probably get back soon. I kind of left unexpectedly. I was just hoping that I could bring Bella home with me."

I was just about to take a bite of food when my mouth fell open in surprise. Jacob caught my eye and then turned to his food sheepishly. I put my fork down and looked from Jacob to Renee and back to Jacob. Renee paused thoughtfully over her coffee and said, "Well I knew Bella was going to have to leave eventually."

Jacob asked, "So, what do you think Bella?"

Although I was caught off guard, I didn't hesitate to reply, "Yeah, Jacob. I'd love to go back with you. I'm looking forward to it actually." I smiled at Jacob and the pleased grin plastered across his face.

Renee interjected, "Well, that's settled then. Just make sure you give me at least two days to pick up some things you'll need for the trip."

"Mom, that's not necessary. You've been more than generous for the past three weeks. Really, I don't need anything, especially since I'll only be able to bring a small bag on the bike. You'll have to ship the rest of my things back as it is."

"Bella, don't worry, I just need to pick up a few things. It's not a big deal."

She finished her coffee and looked at her watch. "Well, I better get going or Phil and I will be late for work. Have a nice day you two." And she walked out the door. It didn't escape my notice that Phil never came back into the kitchen. Oh well, he couldn't avoid me for the next two days. He'd at least have to say good-bye when the time came.

We finished our breakfast in comfortable silence. Jacob cleared the table and washed the dishes for me. Exhaustion suddenly overtook me. Yesterday had been an emotional roller coaster. First thinking that I'd never see Jacob again to having to confront Edward and break up with him. I remembered that Jacob and I had stayed up all night. I rested my head in my hands and leaned on the table. I promised myself that I would only close my eyes for a minute. Next thing I knew I felt strong arms wrap around my body. Jacob had picked me up bridal-style and carried me to my room. He laid me on my bed and wrapped me in the cocoon of his warm body. He whispered in my ear, "I love you, Bella." And I fell into the most restful sleep of my life.

I awoke several hours later sweating profusely. My head was resting on one of Jacob's arms and his other arm was draped across my waist. I thought back to the night in the tent where his warmth was the only thing that kept me alive. I figured waking up overheated everyday was a small price to pay for waking up in his arms. Wait a minute, did I just imply I was going to wake up with Jacob everyday?

I turned to face Jacob and saw that he was looking at me with a smile on his face. He kissed me on the forehead and said, "I was wondering when you were going to wake up sleeping beauty."

"Why, have you been up long?"

"No, not long. I was just thinking about us…about this morning in the kitchen." He smirked. "I've been thinking about how awesome it is to wake up with you in my arms. I've been thinking about us going home together…I can't wait." I snuggled closer to him. He was excited about going home, but I already was home in his arms.

We spent the next two days mapping out our route home. I was able to get a refund on the unused portion of my plane ticket. I knew the cash would come in handy on the road. We logged hours online looking up places to visit and see on our way. We wanted to get home, but we really weren't in any hurry. There was so much we wanted to see and we didn't know if we'd ever have an opportunity like this again. Once we got back to Forks we would deal with reality. Jacob still needed to finish school and I needed to figure out the whole college situation. Of course, I still had to end things properly with Edward. From our last conversation it was clear that he didn't believe me when I said it was over between us. So, in some ways this trip would be a little escape from our responsibilities. We figured that two weeks was enough time to get home and still have plenty of time to see the country. Renee was always around to offer her two cents about places of interest we should see. Phil, on the other hand avoided me like the plague whenever possible. When he did have to interact with me he never made eye contact. Despite the fact that he was still clearly uncomfortable with what he witnessed happening with "Renee's daughter" in the kitchen, he seemed to really like Jacob. They spent hours talking about sports and cars.

Renee kept me busy with shopping and doctors appointments. She insisted that I pay a visit to her gynecologist just so that I could be "checked out." It didn't make sense to me until I realized she had an ulterior motive. She came back from one of her shopping trips with my very own prescription for birth control pills. Although I was thoroughly embarrassed by the implications, I felt compelled to ask her about it. She simply brushed me off and told me it didn't hurt to be prepared. To illustrate the fact that she was simply concerned for my safety she bought me a new motorcycle helmet and a protective leather jacket.

I had called Charlie and told him that I was coming home with Jacob. I didn't go into the details, but he understood that Edward was now out of the picture. He was genuinely happy that I was with Jacob now, until he realized we'd be driving cross-country, alone, unsupervised, and riding a motorcycle. He tried to give me a hard time about it until I reminded him that I was eighteen and that I wasn't asking for his permission. Charlie had resigned himself to the fact that I was a stronger, more assertive Bella than the one who left Forks weeks before. He held his tongue and told me to be safe, that he loved me, and that he'd personally tear Jacob apart if anything happened to me. I could swear I even heard his shotgun click in the background. I really had missed Charlie.

Renee and Phil kept Jacob and I so busy over the two days that we were too tired to do anything but sit and talk before going to bed. Jacob would sneak into my room in the middle of the night just to hold me until morning. He would then sneak back to the couch before Renee and Phil could wake up. I didn't think Renee would be adverse to Jacob actually sharing a bed with me, especially after the whole birth control pills incident. But, I figured we'd have plenty of time alone together on the road and that Phil could use a bit of peace and sanity without me ruining it for him.

Finally, the day we were to leave arrived. I had packed a small duffle bag with a week's worth of clothes and some basic necessities. I searched through the bag one last time to make sure I had everything I needed when I noticed a large box of condoms tucked underneath my pajamas. Renee was relentless. I zipped the bag up immediately so no one would notice. Jacob took the bag from me and tied it to the back of the bike along with his small bag of belongings and a small camping tent. We weren't planning on doing much camping, but it was nice to have the great outdoors as a viable option to the cheap motel rooms we could afford.

Renee and I had packed up the rest of my things to have them shipped back to Forks. Although I only came with a couple of bags, Renee was now shipping three full boxes back to Forks. I felt terrible that she had spent so much money on me, but on the bright side, I wouldn't have to buy clothes for a while.

Renee and I said our good-byes. She made me promise to visit as soon as I could. She helped me into my new jacket and helmet. Jacob and Phil shook hands like old friends. Jacob got on the bike and started it. I said good-bye to Phil and hopped onto the bike behind Jacob. My mind instantly flashed to the day Jacob showed up outside school to help me ditch Alice. It was a fond memory because even if I didn't know it at the time, I was thoroughly in love with him that day. I pressed my body close to his and wrapped my arms tightly around his waist. The vibrations of the bike coupled with Jacob's warm body caused me to blush. I held him tighter unabashedly groping his muscled chest and rippling abs through his tight t-shirt. His body was rock hard against mine but it gave at my touch. Jake leaned back into me and patted my hands. I turned to Renee to wave one last time and Jacob and I took off. All those times we had ridden our bikes in La Push didn't prepare me for this feeling. I felt an overwhelming sense of freedom on the bike as well as comfort in the knowledge that I was safe.

We headed north into Georgia. We paused every three hours or so just to stretch our legs. We ended up at a national park for our first sightseeing stop. We ate a picnic lunch and spent an hour just walking through the forest, holding hands and enjoying each other's company. Technically speaking it was our first official date and it couldn't have been more perfect. Jacob bought a disposable camera at the gift shop to document our trip together.

We were on the road for about six hours that first day. We were in no hurry to get the trip over with as we were enjoying our time alone together. We stopped at the first motel we saw at nightfall, just outside of Atlanta. I moved to get off the bike and realized that I was so stiff and sore that I could barely move. Jacob chuckled once he noticed my predicament and picked me up and threw me over his shoulder laughing all the way into the room. I was too tired and sore to protest, especially since I had an interesting view of his backside from this angle.

The room was basic, but clean. Jacob tossed me on the bed and lay down next to me laughing. He kissed me on the forehead and said, "Bells, I don't know about you, but I'm starving. Let's get cleaned up and find something to eat."

"Sure, Jake. I'm pretty hungry myself. I didn't realize that riding all day could be so tiring. Why don't you shower first while I look in the phone book for places to get food. I think when you're done I'm just going to take a nice hot bath. I need to relieve my aching muscles before I get too stiff to move."

Jacob gave me a devilish grin and said, "You know Bells, there are other ways to loosen up aching muscles. I just might be able to help you with that." He cracked his knuckles indicating that he was ready to get to work.

"Jake, take a shower before I have to hose you down!"

"Okay, anything you say. Feel free to join me if you change your mind." He winked at me and walked towards the bathroom while taking his shirt off. He tossed the shirt playfully at my head. I heard the water running immediately. Leave it to Jacob to take any opportunity to show off his body. It made me wonder if he was really that confident in his body or if his confidence stemmed solely from the fact that he knew _I_ liked his body. Who was I kidding? If I looked like him I'd never wear clothes.

While Jake was in the shower I found a Chinese food place close by that would deliver. I ordered enough food to feed a small village and set the money on the dresser. I looked at myself in the mirror. My long hair had been tied back and was a tangled mess. The helmet left my face sweaty and dirty. I noticed a thin layer of dust on my jeans. I was in desperate need to get cleaned up. I was starting to wonder if I would be able to make it on the road for the next two weeks.

The sound of the water turning off caught my attention. Jacob opened the bathroom door and I let out a surprised gasp. To my surprise he was standing in front of the mirror, soaking wet, with the smallest white towel known to man wrapped tightly around his hips. I stared open-mouthed at the way the small towel clung to his butt accentuating his massive thighs. The towel hung so low on his hips in the front that I caught a brief glimpse of the dark patch of hair springing up from his masculine v. Jacob pulled me out of my shocked reverie when he said,

"Bells, what's wrong?"

"Jake, w-why don't y-you have any clothes on?"

He scrunched his eyebrows and looked into my eyes, "Well, you're not supposed to wear clothes in the shower, honey. It kind of defeats the purpose."

Alright, he got me there, but he knew damn well what I meant. I stammered, "But, why didn't you bring any clothes in with you? You might as well be naked!"

He turned to face me so that I could see his beauty in even more detail. My legs were weak. If this continued I didn't know if I would be able to control myself much longer.

Jacob paused with a mischievous grin on his face. "Bells, would you like me to be naked?"

"Yes, n-No, I mean no. It's just that we're sharing just the one room, and uh, I don't want you getting any ideas." Why couldn't I avert my eyes? I kept ogling him like a pervert and he knew it.

"You know, by the way you're looking at me, I'd say you're the one that has ideas. Now, go on, take that bath." He laughed at my obvious discomfort and added, "You smell."

When I didn't move he threatened to whip me with his towel. Since that would leave him completely naked I decided it was best to just run into the bathroom to take my bath and calm down a little.

I had the water as hot as it could get. Once the tub was full I took off my jeans and t-shirt. I was still in my bra and panties when Jake knocked on the door. I moved to cover myself instantly even though I trusted that Jacob wouldn't just open the door on me.

"Bells, I'm just stepping out real quick to get some ice and sodas. I'll be right back."

"O-okay, Jake!" I shouted a little too loudly through the door.

I took off my bra and panties and pulled my hair loose from its restraints. I got into the tub and I felt like I was in heaven. All the dirt and grime washed off and the aches and pains from the day's ride melted away. I faintly heard the sound of the hotel room door opening and Jacob setting down the ice bucket and the soda cans. I washed my hair and scrubbed my skin with a washcloth. When I was done with the necessities, I relaxed and closed my eyes sinking lower into the bubbles.

When I opened my eyes, Jacob was standing over me with a hungry look in his eyes and a lustful smile on his face. Although confused by his expression I smiled back warmly at his beautiful face. That is until I realized that I was naked in a bathtub. I looked down to make sure there were plenty of bubbles covering my most private parts then screamed, "Jake, what the hell are you doing in here?" I groped around in the water until my hand found my washcloth. I bundled it up and threw it at him.

He ducked and then started howling in laughter. "Jesus, Bells, what kind of pervert do you take me for? I knocked on the door to tell you that the food was here. When you didn't answer I figured you must have fallen asleep. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you drown in here just because you don't want me to see you naked?"

When I didn't respond he bent down and placed both hands on either side of the tub startling me. He leaned in closely while I sank lower into the water to maintain my modesty. He grinned and gave me a warm, sultry kiss on the lips, which made my whole body melt. In that moment I wanted to pull him into that tub with me. He eyed me like he wanted the same thing. I felt my lower half tense with passion as he moved his lips to my ear. He whispered, "Get dressed, honey, I'm starving." He walked right out the door leaving me, literally, in a puddle.

After he closed the door I noticed that he had brought in a pair of sweats and a tank top for me to sleep in. He really was thoughtful even if he was the biggest tease I'd ever met. I noticed that there was no underwear in the pile and thought, commando it is. I guess that's better than being embarrassed at the thought of him rifling through my underwear.

We had a great night. We sat on the bed talking and feeding each other. When we were done eating we watched some television. I sat back against the headboard while Jacob rested his head in my lap. I ran my hands through his silky hair absent-mindedly while we commented on whatever it was we were watching at the time. I found myself casually staring at Jacob's beautifully formed body. I found I was short of breath when I imagined him still wet from the shower. His dark skin looked so tantalizing that I didn't realize I was massaging his broad chest until Jake gently placed his hands on mine.

"Bells, you've been a little weird ever since we got here. What's up?"

"Nothing, why?"

"Bella, you threw a washcloth at me. Okay, your aim was terrible, but it just seems like you're constantly going from hot to cold. One minute you look like you want to devour me, the next minute you're trying to keep your distance. It's just a little confusing."

"I guess I'm just a little nervous around you."

He sat up on the bed and turned to face me. He had a hungry look in his eye and before I knew it he had grabbed me around the hips and moved me on his lap so that my legs were now straddling his waist. He pressed his large hands into my back pulling my chest into his. He kissed my cheeks, my forehead, my nose and then my lips. He whispered against my open mouth, "Please, tell me what's bothering you."

"Okay, but don't be mad."

"Never."

"Well, it's just that with Edward…" The mere mention of Edward's name caused Jacob's body to go rigid. I continued before I lost my nerve. "With Edward, I was always the one trying to push our physical boundaries. I knew that no matter what, he would always stop things before they got too far. With you, there aren't any boundaries. I want you. And I know you want me just as badly. I'm just nervous that I'll get carried away too soon, especially since we're all alone together with no one to interfere. You're really driving me crazy, do you know that?"

"Is that right? Does this drive you crazy?" He nibbled on my ear while one hand gently moved up and down my ribcage and his other hand firmly grasped and massaged my thigh. I moaned at the contact.

"Do you like that Bella?"

"Y-yes," I stuttered.

He kissed me hard on the mouth while moving his hands down to squeeze my butt. I squirmed at the sensation and rubbed against his arousal eliciting a growl from Jacob. He lifted me up in his arms while he rose to rest on his knees on the bed. He then bent over and placed me gently on my back. While supporting himself with one arm he let his other hand move up from my thigh, across my stomach and along the outside of my breast causing me to hold my breath in anticipation. He then lay on top of me, every inch of his body touching mine and causing moisture to pool at my core. He rested the majority of his weight on his forearms which were placed on either side of my head. His hands gently stroked my hair and face. His eyes were full of love. My body instinctively arched into his. Jacob kissed me tenderly up and down my neck. I moved my head to the side to allow him better access. He was torturing me in the most beautiful way. He kissed me on the mouth letting his tongue caress my lips before tasting me. As our tongues met I wrapped my arms and legs around his body pulling him closer. He stifled a chuckle against my lips, broke our kiss and whispered seductively,

"Bella, baby, I think we should get some sleep. We have a long day tomorrow." And just like that he untangled himself from my body and stood up to turn off the light. What the hell just happened? I practically growled at Jacob, "What are you doing?"

He smirked, "Well, to be honest, I kind of like teasing you. You're even more beautiful when you're frustrated like this. Don't worry though, I won't tease you forever."

He turned off the light and got into bed next to me. I was too stunned to say or do anything so I let him spoon me and hold me in his arms. He kissed the back of my head and said, "Good night, Bells." When I didn't say anything in response he chuckled and squeezed me tighter.

I realized that I had two choices, either fall asleep or attack him and make him do all the things to me he really wanted to. I decided I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. He was teasing me! Although I was frustrated, I had to admit that it turned me on. This wasn't like with Edward where he would draw the line after he got me excited with no hope of relief. Something told me that Jacob wasn't physically capable of drawing that line, at least not permanently. So, I'd let him have his fun teasing and tormenting me. But, he'd soon understand that two could play this game. I knew how much he wanted me. If he wanted to play this game well that was just fine with me. I'd have him on his knees before this was over. Wow, I really surprised myself without how much I've changed. I'm a different person altogether, and I like it.

So, I pressed my body closer to his and heard a small groan come from him as my butt pressed into his still hard member. I couldn't help but smile. Aside from our talks and getting to know each other better everyday, this new aspect of our relationship was going to be fun. Just as I closed my eyes ready to fall asleep in his arms, Jacob said, "Hey, Bells, what's with all the condoms in your bag?"

My eyes opened wide in shock. I thought, well played Jacob. Well played.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

**CHAPTER NINE**

We started early the next morning. We had plans to ride up through Atlanta and spend the night somewhere in Tennessee. Jacob was extremely loving and affectionate all morning. Neither one of us felt the need to bring up the blatant teasing from the night before. Jacob was just taking it easy on me, I'm sure. Little did he know that I was just lulling him into a false sense of security.

We ate a light breakfast, packed our bags, and hit the road. We drove through beautiful green countryside. Every once in a while Jacob would squeeze my hands which were wrapped tightly around his waist. We spent hours locked in the same position letting the wind blow against us. I leaned into Jacob and let his massive body shield me from the elements.

Mid-day we found a park in a small town outside of Chattanooga. We didn't have much money to spare so we tried to do things that were free. City parks seemed like our best bet to enjoy some fresh air while stretching our limbs.

I was still tired from yesterday's ride and didn't feel much like walking around. The heat and overbearing humidity didn't help matters. When I took off my helmet and jacket I realized that I was a sweaty mess. My t-shirt clung to my body with all the moisture in the air. I felt disgusting. Jacob, on the other hand, just looked sexier the sweatier he got. He brushed his wet hair back from his face and reached out for my hand. I grabbed a blanket from my bag, bought some lunch, and staked a spot on the grass. After we ate we lay on our backs side by side listening to the children playing all around us and watched the clouds float by.

We were laughing and joking together as per usual. I was overwhelmed with how happy Jacob made me. And seeing the light come back to his eyes told me that he was just as happy because of me. Thinking back to the beginning of our friendship, I never imagined it would develop into what it was now. Jacob was the light at the end of the tunnel for me. But he became so much more. I didn't need saving anymore. He was my best friend with whom I was also madly and helplessly in love. I had the best of both worlds.

My mind wandered back to my decision to live with Charlie in Forks. I took myself out of my element and immersed myself in a new and uncomfortable situation. I removed myself from my safety net, my mother, and ventured out into the unknown. I was so lonely before I met Edward. Sure, I was always somewhat of a loner, but that fact never seemed quite so depressing until I came to Forks. Before Edward, I was already dwindling into the shell of the person I was before. I was half of who I used to be and I was unhappy.

When I met Edward I found that he and I were two halves of the same whole. We couldn't function without the other, which was evident when he left me. I was devastated because I was cut in half, again. But, Jacob helped me become whole again, on my terms. He helped me remember who I was before Edward came into my life; before I ever left home. He reminded me that I was a person deserving of love, with hopes and dreams of my own. He taught me that I could be happy without Edward. I just had to believe it. Jacob didn't complete me. I was complete and whole all by myself, just as he was. We were both complete people who infinitely complimented each other. That fact alone made it possible for me to love Jacob with my whole heart.

Jacob interrupted my train of thought. "Bells, what are you thinking about?"

I realized we had been silent for quite awhile. Jacob was sitting up leaning on his arm while looking down at me with a worried expression.

I smiled warmly and said, "I'm thinking about how lucky I am that you're so stubborn."

"Oh, is that right?" He chuckled but looked a little confused.

"Yeah, if you hadn't been such an ass I never would have realized my true feelings for you. _At least not until it was too late._" He smiled brightly and bent down to kiss me passionately. We kissed as though we were the only two people in the world. I was dizzy from the lack of oxygen before Jacob broke the kiss and brushed his lips softly along my forehead. My mind was spinning.

"Jake, can I ask you something?"

"Anything." He brushed a stray hair away from my face and smiled brightly. I sat up and faced him. His body was stretched out along the blanket and he was still propped up on his elbow.

"Well, I guess I've been wondering about something for a while. It's just something Edward said, or didn't say, before he left Jacksonville. He read your mind and implied that you would hurt me and that I'd come running back to him when you did." I saw his jaw tighten and his fists clench in anger. I didn't want to upset him, but I felt I should tell him what was going on in my mind. I didn't want to keep anything from him. "Don't worry, Jake, I know you'd never hurt me, and I'm _never_ going back to him. I was just wondering if you could tell me what you were thinking about and why you think Edward would jump to that conclusion?"

Jacob didn't say anything for a while. Several emotions seemed to cross his face all at once. He first looked angry. Either because I brought up Edward or because he thought I didn't trust him, I wasn't sure. He then looked hurt and surprisingly determined.

"Bella, I don't know what that _leech_ heard or what he thinks he heard." It was like venom spewing from his mouth when he said that horrid word. He knew I didn't approve, but he was angry so I let it pass. "Of course he'd tell you that I'd hurt you. He's still fighting to keep you. It's not like he hasn't lied to you before, right? Please, can we just change the subject?" He looked like he wanted to say something more, but then changed his mind. I figured if it was important, he would tell me when he was ready. I decided that whatever it was that Edward heard or thought he heard, I would put my faith in Jacob.

"Of course we don't have to talk about this. I'm sorry I brought it up. Let's just…" I didn't get a chance to finish my sentence because the sky exploded in thunder and lightening. The families and couples who were enjoying the park with us all ran screaming for cover. Within seconds heavy rain poured down on us soaking us to the bone. We didn't have a chance to react. We just looked at each other and started laughing. It was still humid as hell, but the water on our skin was so refreshing.

Jake stood up. He reached for my hand and pulled me to my feet. Rain was falling down our faces and into our clothes. He smiled that beautiful smile and I knew I was beaming in return. His hands caressed my face as he bent down to kiss me. I kissed him back enthusiastically. I stood on my tip-toes to get a better angle and threw my arms around his neck. His hands moved from my face to my waist pulling my body tightly against his. We stood there kissing for what seemed like hours. I heard nothing, saw nothing, felt nothing but Jacob's warm body on mine. He pulled away just as I my knees were about to buckle. I looked at his beautiful face and he simply closed his eyes and caressed my face resting his forehead on mine.

When he opened his eyes I smiled and hugged him tightly. My head rested on his chest as he ran his hands through my hair. "Bells, honey, let's go find a motel close by. This rain isn't gonna let up any time soon and Charlie would kill me if we rode in this weather."

I was so comfortable right at this moment in Jacob's embrace. When Jacob held me it was never sweet and gentle. On the contrary, it was always hard, rough, and just a little too tight. But I wouldn't have it any other way. His embrace was just like him, hard and real, and I wanted nothing but to be in his too tight embrace because as far as I was concerned, it was never tight enough. I didn't care if it was pouring rain on me, I didn't want to move. I grudgingly replied, "Mmmm, you're right. I really don't feel like driving any farther today."

I pulled away from his embrace to pick up the blanket. We were completely drenched, but I couldn't care less. That is until I heard Jacob gasp in surprise. I looked at him to see what was wrong and saw that his eyes were as wide as saucers and trained directly at my chest. I looked down and saw that my light blue t-shirt along with my white cotton bra was soaked through revealing my hardened nipples. I yelped in surprise and dropped the blanket and covered my breasts with my arms.

"Jake, what the hell? Why are you such a pervert?"

He was tongue-tied for a moment, still staring at my now covered breasts with a hungry look in his eyes. My thoughts flashed back to last night and how he mercilessly teased me. As embarrassed as I was to reveal so much of myself to Jacob, I took comfort in the fact that I had this effect on him. Of course, it helped to know that no one else was around to see it. So the vixen in me decided to play with him a bit. I thought, to hell with it, and threw myself into Jacob's arms and kissed him fiercely. I took the initiative and let my tongue tease his lips until he opened the kiss. When I heard him groan at the contact, I pulled back and smiled wickedly.

"Come on Jake, let's go."

I picked up the blanket, which was now also soaking wet, and held it up to my chest to cover me. Jacob was still standing in front of me, completely immobile. I took his hand and pulled with all my might to get him moving. He squeezed my hand and flashed me a knowing grin. His look said that he realized he had met his match. He pulled me along and we started running back to the bike and towards shelter.

We found a motel close by and decided to settle in for the rest of the day. It was still early in the afternoon, but I wanted to ride out the storm in the warmth of a cozy bed and Jacob's arms. We took off our helmets and brought our things inside. When I shrugged out of my jacket Jake's eyes travelled right back to my chest. Instead of covering up I just told Jake to grow up and walked as confidently as I could to the bathroom. Although the rain had cooled us down considerably, I was still covered with a thin layer of dirt and grime.

I took a hot shower and just stood there letting the water warm and soothe my body. When I was done I wrapped a towel around me and headed for the bathroom door. I figured this was a perfect opportunity to torment Jacob the way he did me last night. I looked at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. My hair was slicked back and dripping water all down my back. My skin was rosy from the heat. I re-wrapped the towel so that it hung down low in the back, revealing the skin just above where my back and butt meet. I tucked in the front of the towel tightly against the swell of my breasts. The bottom of the towel hit my leg at mid-thigh. I never thought of myself as beautiful. Edward had always said that I never saw myself clearly. But, standing in front of the mirror knowing Jacob was just outside the door, made me feel like a goddess.

I walked out of the bathroom still soaking wet and covered only by the white towel. I was painfully aware of Jacob's eyes taking in every inch of my newly exposed skin. I saw through the corner of my eye that he was sitting on the bed still in his wet clothes with his mouth wide open in shock. I walked passed him and bent down over my bag to look for a pair of shorts and tank top to sleep in. I was careful not to reveal too much as I bent down, but I could swear I heard Jacob whimper when I did. I winked at Jacob. "What, you think you're the only one who's allowed to parade around naked all the time?" And I walked back into the bathroom to get changed.

The afternoon quickly passed into night. The rain continued and kept us indoors, which was fine with me. We talked, played cards and had a wonderful time together. I was so happy just spending this time with Jacob. I felt content falling asleep in his arms, looking forward to another day on the road.

I woke up in Jacob's arms. It was still dark outside and I heard the rain pounding on the roof. I turned over and saw that Jacob was wide awake and staring at me.

"Why are you still up, Jake?"

"I guess I just couldn't sleep. I'm afraid that if I sleep, all this will be a dream. I never want to sleep again if it means I'd have to live without you. I love you too much Bella."

I caressed his face and kissed him tenderly. "Jake, I'm not going anywhere."

He wrapped his arms around me while I rested my head on his chest. I listened to his heartbeat which had become the soundtrack of my life. The past two days were the happiest I could remember. It was like we were two adventurers, alone in the world. Even this silly teasing game we were playing made me feel more alive.

I felt a slight chill go through me so I pulled myself closer to Jacob. I brought my legs up lodging one in between his legs. I didn't realize I had done anything until I heard Jacob moan. "God, Bella, I need you, NOW!" He instantly flipped us over so that he was on top of me. I felt his hard arousal pressing against my thigh. He closed his eyes and traced his nose gently against my cheeks, my nose, and my lips.

"Do you know how beautiful you looked in that towel today? You were so _fucking hot_ I wanted to take you right then and there. Do you know how hard it was for me to hold back?"

His voice was husky and filled with lust. I wasn't used to him using that sort of language around me, but I had to admit, I liked it, a lot. He assaulted my neck with fevered kisses while his tongue stroked the contours of my jaw. He ground his body into mine creating the most pleasurable sensation at my core. I was struck dumb by the feelings he was causing in me. I couldn't formulate any kind of response so I just moaned into his ear.

"Mmm, Jake."

He growled in response and his mouth hungrily devoured mine. His hands roamed freely along my body. Other than that morning in Renee's kitchen, Jacob had never really _touched_ me. His hand moved to the edges of my breast, over my shirt. He traced circles around and around, gradually moving closer to my nipple. My nipple hardened at his touch and I couldn't help but moan again at this new sensation. Encouraged by my response he grasped my breast in his large hand and kneaded it firmly while gently stroking the nipple between his thumb and index finger. He repeated the process with my other breast before slowly lifting my shirt up and over my head, revealing me to him for the first time.

"You're so beautiful."

He kissed my lips and the kiss was filled with more love and tenderness that I ever thought possible. He pressed his chest to mine and the sensation on my bare skin was phenomenal. His hot skin on mine coupled with the feeling of his member rubbing against my center caused the pooling moisture between my legs to trickle slowly down my thigh.

His hand moved behind me, down my back to grab and squeeze my butt. He then moved to my thigh. He tugged firmly and in one swift motion he wrapped my leg around his waist. I felt him get impossibly harder against my center. His hand caressed my calf and then glided up the outside of my thigh to rest on my hip. He brought my leg back down and slowly moved down my body so that his head was level with my breasts. His stomach was now resting on my warm, hot center. His eyes focused on mine as his tongue delicately licked at my nipple. His hands grasped both breasts and pushed them together. His tongue then moved from one to the other, never favoring one side over the other. He gently bit down on my nipple, all while maintaining eye contact, which nearly sent me into oblivion.

"Oh…God… Jake…that…feels so good."

He moved further down my body leaving his hands to play with my breasts. I felt his warm breath on my stomach. His tongue swirled around my navel. And then I heard a guttural sound come from the back of Jacob's throat. He closed his eyes and his nostrils flared. The most beautiful, euphoric look appeared on his face.

"Mmmm, Bella, you _smell_ so good. Do you want me?"

"Please, Jake. I need you."

Driven by desire, Jacob grabbed the top of my shorts and ripped them off. He growled when he realized I wasn't wearing any underwear. Here I was lying naked in front of him for the first time. I had never felt more vulnerable or free in my life. Quicker than I thought possible he moved back up my body so that we were face to face. He cradled my face in his hands.

"Bells, you're so beautiful. I never thought I would ever be this lucky. Are you sure about this?"

"Yes, Jake. I want you, now. Please!" I was panting I was so excited.

Jacob moved back down my body and my eyes closed in anticipation. His hand gripped my thighs and I felt his hot breath between my legs. His pace was slow and deliberate, a delicious torture. I couldn't take it any longer. I needed more.

"Ungh, Jake, please stop teasing. Mmmm, please, I need you now!"

"Bella! Bella! Wake up!"

Huh? My eyes shot open and I found myself wrapped around Jacob's body, kneading his stomach like a stretching cat. My leg was hitched over his waist and was lying across his stomach, pressing my wet center up against his hip.

I felt disoriented. My heart-rate was accelerated and I had a thin layer of sweat all over my body. I froze and took in the sight before me. Jacob's arms were behind his head clinging to the headboard for dear life. I could hear the strain of the wood fighting against his strong grip. His eyes were wide and he looked like he was in pain.

"Bells, uh, could you get up please?"

It took me a moment to realize what exactly it was he wanted from me. I wasn't sure what was wrong with him, or why it came upon him all of a sudden in the middle of the night. Was it the closeness that was making him uncomfortable? No, that didn't make sense. It had never bothered him before. I moved my leg from his stomach and as I brought it down it grazed against Jacob's painfully obvious erection. Jake closed his eyes at the contact and groaned in what sounded like a mixture of pleasure and pain.

"Oh, God Bells."

He leapt from the bed and ran directly to the bathroom. My eyes were focused unabashedly at the rather large erection straining against his cut-off sweatpants. The door to the bathroom slammed shut and snapped me back to reality. Why was he acting so strangely? And then it hit me. Oh. My. God! I just had the best dream of my life in which Jacob and I were about to have sex. I was clearly aroused from the dream and by the massive erection he was sporting, I guess the same could be said for Jacob. When I woke up, I was all over him. But did I say anything? I tried to remember the details of the dream.

_Mmm, Jake._

_Oh God, Jake, Please! I need you. _

Did I say any of those things out loud? My track record suggested that I had. Oh no! I was mortified. I just had a sex dream and was probably rubbing up against Jake like a cat in heat. No wonder he looked so scared. He was probably fighting the urge to take me right then and there. Not that I could blame him.

I heard the sound of water running in the shower. I had a feeling the water would be painfully cold. I was so embarrassed. But, it's not like something I could control. I wonder if this was how it was like for Edward. Then again, I never had dreams quite this graphic involving him. I wonder what Jacob must be thinking right now.

I knocked on the bathroom door. "Jake, are you okay?"

His voice was husky and he sounded out of breath. "Yeah, uh, ungh. I'm fine. Unngh. I, uh, just give me a few minutes okay? Unnnngh."

Jacob was groaning, but it certainly wasn't out of pain. Oh God! It would appear that Jake was taking matters into his own hands, literally. He was in the shower _pleasuring_ himself, because of me! The complete embarrassment I felt just a moment ago was now replaced with a new found confidence. I was confident in myself that I could get this reaction from Jacob. As cocky as he was, he could still be awed by me. Not to mention the fact that he was still a gentleman with me. Most guys in that position might have taken advantage of the situation. Jacob was young, even if he looked like a man. But, he was strong too. He resisted the temptation. I didn't think it was possible, but with every passing hour, every minute I was falling deeper in love with Jacob Black. And there he was, just behind that closed door.

I started to feel sorry for him. That is until I remembered the events that transpired last night. I realized that I had Jacob exactly where I wanted him and I didn't even have to try. The feeling was exhilarating. The power was intoxicating. I was finally seeing myself as a sexual being, one with needs and desires that deserved to be fulfilled. I still wasn't completely ready for the next step. But, that didn't mean I wasn't comfortable with the idea of taking all the baby steps that lay in between.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror next to the bathroom door. My hair was wild and falling out of its loose ponytail. There was a sheen of perspiration framing my face. My cheeks were red and the flush on my skin had spread down my chest, framing my cleavage. My nipples were still hard and the dark pink skin was plainly visible through my thin shirt. If this is how I look now, I can only imagine what I must have looked like while dreaming. Poor Jacob. No wonder he was taking care of things in the bathroom.

That thought made me smile a wicked grin. I turned from the mirror to the bed on the opposite wall. I crawled onto the bed toward the headboard to check out the damage Jacob caused. I was on my hands and knees with my backside facing the bathroom door. The damage on the headboard was minor. The wood wasn't splintered, just dented with a slight impression of Jacob's fingertips. Through the course of my inspection, I failed to notice the shower turning off. The next thing I heard was Jacob gasp.

"Oh, God!"

I looked back over my shoulder to see what was wrong. Jacob's eyes were wide with lust and a tinge of misery. I scrunched my eyebrows questioningly but Jacob just stared at me a few seconds longer before slamming the door and locking himself back in the bathroom.

What was his problem now? But then, I took in the suggestive position I was currently in and understanding washed over me. After throwing myself at him and moaning his name in my sleep, he now finds me on all fours waving my ass at him like an open invitation. I almost collapsed, I was laughing so hard. I was going to be the death of this boy for sure. Jake must have heard me laughing because I heard him moan through the door, "You're not playing fair, Bella!" And then the shower water came back on.

I got back under the covers and waited for Jacob to come out of the bathroom. After twenty minutes of waiting I figured I'd call it a night. I fell asleep confident in the fact that though playing this game was senseless and immature, we were both having fun participating. I closed my eyes taking comfort in the fact that now the score was tied.

Your move, Jake.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

**CHAPTER TEN**

I woke up the next morning uncharacteristically cold. The sun was out and the birds were chirping. The summer storm had passed promising clear skies ahead. I wrapped the blankets tighter around my body in an attempt to prolong my sleep. But, it didn't work. I was already up.

Suddenly it hit me. The reason I was so cold was because I wasn't in Jacob's arms. I turned over and saw that Jacob was occupying the smallest space possible for his large size on the extreme opposite side of the bed. His back was turned to me but the rise and fall of his heaving shoulders told me that he was still deep in sleep.

The sight before me made me smile. Poor Jacob. When he finally got to bed last night, he must have been terrified of touching me. I thought it was cute the way he was huddled up making sure no part of his body would come into contact with mine. But, it also made me sad. This was the first time I didn't wake up in his arms and I decided that that was just unacceptable. We'd have to figure something out before we got home, because I didn't want to wake up alone like this again if I could help it.

I moved closer to Jacob and wrapped my arm around his waist. I placed gentle kisses along his back and shoulders.

"Jake, baby, wake up."

I'd never used a pet name for Jacob before, but in light of our new relationship, it just felt right. Jacob hadn't moved but he did groan sleepily. I sat up so that I could kiss him on his cheek. My hand moved up to his chest and I pressed him closer to me.

"Jaaaaake, wake up."

This time I shook him gently. His eyes opened groggily as he turned to face me. I smiled warmly and kissed his lips tenderly.

"Good morning, sleepy."

He smiled back but then his body stiffened and he eyed me warily.

"What?"

"Is this part of the game? 'Cuz, I don't think I want to play anymore."

"Jake, what are you talking about? I'm waking you up, that's it. Besides, I thought our game was supposed to be fun. You didn't see me act this way after you teased the hell out of me." I started to pout. "You didn't even hold me last night. I've gotta say, I kind of think my feelings are hurt."

My tone was light and teasing, but that didn't detract from the truth of my words. I did miss waking up in his arms. Jacob sat up quickly and hugged me to his chest.

"Bells, I'm sorry." He kissed the top of my head and held me tighter. "You're right. It's just that last night was…well…it was something else. I've never experienced anything like it before. I mean, the way you moved, the way you said my name. I thought I would break down and take you right there. Then I felt horrible for even letting that thought cross my mind. I don't want you thinking I'm some sort of sex-crazed pervert. Well…anyway, I didn't hold you because I didn't think I'd be strong enough to survive another one of your dreams. I didn't want to chance it."

I couldn't help but laugh at his description of the evening. He was worried that I'd think _he_ was the sex-crazed pervert. And yet, I was the one having the illicit dreams and rubbing up against him in the night. I was inadvertently testing his limits and he was passing with flying colors. I reached up to caress his face.

"Jake, don't feel bad. I'm sorry for making you feel guilty about not holding me. You did nothing wrong. You were a perfect gentleman last night. If anything, I should be apologizing to you, at least for the dream part. I'm not going to apologize for the whole walking around in only a towel part. That, you deserved."

He chuckled and leaned back against the headboard cradling me in his arms. He casually played with my hair causing a tingling sensation to travel from my scalp down my spine. I was perfectly content, but I sensed that there was something off with him.

"Jake, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing. You'll think it's stupid."

"Are you kidding me? We can tell each other anything. You know that. Now, please, what's wrong?"

I sat up so that we were facing each other. I kissed his lips warmly and squeezed his hands in encouragement. He looked into my eyes for a moment then groaned in defeat.

"God, Bells. I can't say no to those big doe eyes of yours. Okay, fine. Well, if you must know, I was thinking a lot about your dream." We both blushed furiously at the mention of what goes on in my vivid imagination.

"Well, I guess I'm just afraid that I'm not going to…live up to your…expectations."

"Huh, what?" He had caught me completely off guard. He was worried about not living up to my dreams…of him. I was about to say something, but he held his hand up to stop me.

"Bells, you know I'm not exactly experienced in that…sort of thing. I just…ugh…when the time comes, I'm just worried I'll disappoint you."

I knew how hard it must have been for Jacob to admit that to me. He played the cocky, tough guy card so well to protect himself from getting hurt. It pained me to know that I was the reason for him developing that defense mechanism. I knew I had to reassure him that he was worried needlessly.

"Jake, I'm just as inexperienced as you are. It was just a dream. What can I say? I have a vivid imagination. But, you are the man of my dreams. You could _never_ disappoint me. I love…"

Before I could finish, Jacob's lips crashed into mine. My eyes widened in surprise. His hands cradled my face and he gently pushed me down on the bed under the weight of his body. He broke the kiss and pulled back looking lovingly into my eyes.

"I love you too, Bells, more than anything. I was willing to give you up, to stop fighting for you because I knew that that's what you wanted. I'm so glad you changed your mind, because I _never_ could have been happy without you."

He leaned over me resting his head on one hand, while his other hand stroked my face and moved down my shoulders to rest on my arm. All the while his eyes traveled up and down my body only to lock back on mine.

"I know I'm just a kid, _technically_." We both smirked at that. "But, I'm going to prove to you, everyday if I have to, that you made the right choice. I'm going to prove to you that I can be the man you deserve."

My heart melted at the determined look in his eyes. I brought both my hands up to his face and pulled him close.

"Jake, you don't have to prove that to me. I already know I made the right choice. We love each other. That's all I need."

I leaned in and kissed him hungrily. He melted against my lips and sank down harder on top of my body. His weight wasn't crushing, but it was making it harder to breath. A part of me didn't care because I loved the feel of his body pressed so closely to mine. I loved his sense of reckless abandon when it came to showing affection for me. But the part of me craving oxygen won out and I gasped.

"J-Jake! Air…can't breathe!"

He pulled off of me and smiled bashfully.

"Sorry."

"Don't worry about it. It was worth it."

We smiled at each other before he wrapped his arms around me pulling me down to rest my head on his bare chest. We were silent for a while, just enjoying holding onto each other.

"Bells, I've been thinking about what we're gonna do once we get back to Forks."

Uggh. Reality. I didn't want to think about that yet. I loved hiding out in this little world we created in which only the two of us existed. Thinking about Forks meant thinking about a whole lot of things I didn't want to think about, at least not yet.

"I was thinking that while you're getting ready to go to college in the spring, I'd work on getting my GED."

I looked at him in surprise. "Don't you want to finish school with your friends? What's the rush?"

He chuckled and squeezed me tightly. "What's the rush? The rush is that I don't want you to leave me behind. You've got a career in mind, and I don't want to hold you back, or be a reason for you to postpone anything. I figure, if I get my GED now, I can go to college with you in the spring and we'll be on track together. You know I've never been much for hitting the books and all that crap. I'm much better with the whole hands-on approach."

I stifled a laugh and tried to hide my now beet-red face against his chest. I knew he was talking about his mechanic skills, but for some reason, all I could think about was his hands exploring my breasts in my dream. And, yeah, I guess he was much better at the whole hands-on approach. As usual, Jacob seemed to read my mind and from the corner of my eye I saw him smirk.

"For crying out loud Bells, get your mind out of the gutter! _Anyway_…I've been thinking I should take my future a lot more seriously. I'm good with fixing things; cars, bikes, you name it. But I don't know anything about the whole business stuff. If I want to be successful, I figure I should get a degree in business so I can start and run my own shop. I can get tribal scholarships from the government, no problem. I can set up shop in La Push, hire some kids to help out. I want to do more for my tribe. I want to give back."

"That's a wonderful idea Jake. But, you're a werewolf for God's sake. You're a 'protector' of your people. I don't see how you could possibly do more for them."

"I know, but I want to do more as regular old me, not a werewolf. You know how I feel about the whole wolf thing. It's a blessing and a curse. I have the ability to protect people, to protect you. But, I've become this super-human freak in the process. Sometimes I really wish the whole wolf thing never happened. That's why the school thing seems like my best bet. I can still do the wolf thing, but I'll feel better about myself. Besides, I was thinking that maybe I could build an office over the shop and you could use that as your studio to write. Then, when we have kids, you could bring them to work with us because we'll both be there to take care of them and…"

He trailed off when he saw the look on my face. My eyebrows were raised, my eyes were wide, and my mouth had fallen open. I could swear I saw a subtle blush spread over his cheeks. I wasn't sure what to say. He seemed so sure about everything. He had a plan. Normally, this would have been the time where I started to panic. It felt strange to think that he was mapping out our lives together, that he was deciding what we would do. But, I realized that he was really just talking about his own plans for the future, and just making sure that I knew I was included. Ever since I told him about my desire to write, he had been nothing but encouraging. I figured I'd return the favor.

"Well, it looks like you've got everything figured out. Have you decided where we're going to live, and the name of our first-born child?"

"No, and you don't have to be such a smart-ass about it." He gave me a peck on my cheek and let out one of his signature barking laughs. "I don't have _everything_ figured out. I've just figured out what I want and I know what I have to do to get it. And, I notice you didn't exactly object to the whole kid thing."

"Of course I didn't. I think it's sweet actually. We'll just cross that bridge when we come to it. I've got to say, I like where you're going with this. If you want to get your GED now, then I'm all for it and I'll help you as best I can. I'll support you, no matter what you want to do."

"Thank you." He paused and stared into my eyes. "Do you know what I want to do now?"

Before I could answer, a devilish grin spread on his face. He was on top of me in a second devouring my lips. His hands were tangled in my hair as he supported his weight with his arms on either side of my head. My tongue explored his mouth and I bit down gently on his lower lip. He moaned in response and one of his hands moved down to my breast. He gently massaged it while his thumb grazed my nipple, causing it to harden. I moaned at the contact and kissed him with renewed vigor.

I couldn't contain myself any longer. My restraint was severely weakened. Images from last night's dream along with Jacob's reaction to it set me on fire. I felt especially excited jut thinking about how close I felt to him after he had just opened up to me about his goals for the future. It was so refreshing that he took my needs and desires into account. With little to no resistance from him, I pulled him down so that his back was now resting on the bed while I straddled his waist. I attacked his neck with my tongue while his hands gripped my ass, grinding me into his hips.

I sat up getting a better feeling of his erection rubbing against my center. I looked down at Jacob and admired his gorgeous features and beautiful skin. His eyes were locked on mine and they were wide with passion and awe. He sat up and hitched my legs around his waist so that I was now sitting in his lap. I kissed him again and buried my hands in his silky hair.

"Ah, Jake…I love you!"

"I'll never get tired of hearing you say that."

His hands moved back to my breasts. He grabbed them in his hands. I closed my eyes and my head fell back at the sensation. He then placed chaste kisses on both nipples, through my shirt, making me whimper. This was so much better than my dream. I heard Jacob growl and the next thing I knew he grabbed me and tossed me back down on the bed. He leaned over me with his beautiful smile plastered on his face. He bent down and gave me a quick peck on the lips and said, "Come on Bells, we gotta hit the road. It's getting late."

Before I could react he leapt from the bed and headed towards the bathroom. Son of a …

"ARRRRRGH! You JERK!" I threw my pillow at his head but he just caught it and dropped it on the floor while laughing his ass off.

"You're so sexy when you're angry. Come on, don't be mad. Get dressed, unless of course you don't mind riding behind me wearing your skimpy pjs. I wouldn't mind. Actually, that sounds kind of hot. But, it's probably a whole safety issue."

He chuckled and proceeded into the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. I lay back down on the bed seething, just staring at the ceiling. Jacob was good. Damn, he was good.

Because of our late start we were forced to drive a little longer than usual to stay on track. We rode four hours straight so that we could get to the Tennessee-Kentucky border by the afternoon. We stopped at a small café for a late lunch. Jacob was all smiles. He was in a great mood. Either because of tormenting me this morning, or because being on the open road made him feel free, I wasn't sure. Maybe it was a combination of both. All I knew was that it was impossible to stay mad at him for long. His warm, loving smile and infectious laugh won me over every time.

We got back on the road after lunch and decided to ride for a few more hours because we wanted to make it to Illinois by nightfall. I really enjoyed riding on the bike with Jacob. Since we couldn't talk, I had a lot of time to think. Unfortunately, the thoughts that dominated my mind all afternoon were about sex; sex with Jacob, sex on the bike with Jacob. Gah! What the hell? I felt like a teenage boy with a one-track mind.

One thing was for sure, this little game we were playing was taking its toll on our restraint. Last night served to illustrate that all I needed to do was say the word and Jacob and I could be doing all the things I thought and dreamt about. I don't know if I would have let things get that far this morning, given the choice, but when Jacob stopped, I knew that I had wanted a lot more.

I was feeling things I'd never felt before. I'd spent the majority of my teenage years with my nose stuck in a book or keeping tabs on my scatter-brained mother. Boys and sex never really crossed my mind. I had never dated prior to Edward, and I'd hardly count that as dating. I went from naïve teenager to being head over heels in love with a vampire. That's not dating. I never had a chance to entertain some of my more carnal desires with Edward. It just wasn't possible. Now that I was with Jake, a whole world of possibilities was opening up for me and it was all I could think about. I had always been mature for my age. But, here I was, just weeks from my nineteenth birthday and I finally understood what it was like to be a teenager.

When we checked into the motel that night the atmosphere was rife with sexual tension. We ordered in and ate in relative silence. Jake showered and came out of the bathroom with the usual sweatpants and no shirt. You'd think that a person would get used to seeing someone half naked all the time. But, Jacob's tall, rippled, and beautiful frame set my blood boiling at all times.

I took a hot shower myself and got ready for bed. When I came out of the bathroom, Jacob was on the bed with his arms open to me and a brilliant smile on his face.

"Come here Bells. No games, I just want to lie here with you."

I smiled at his warm tone and replied, "Well, I think I can handle that."

I climbed into bed with him and he held me tight. I felt warm and safe and exactly where I belonged. He held me as we stared into each other's eyes. He kissed the top of my head and rubbed his hands up and down my back. I closed my eyes and circled my arms around him letting one of my legs tangle with his. I could have stayed like that forever, but after a while I felt Jacob stir. He whispered, "Bells, honey, turn around for me."

There was something in his tone of voice that told me I should listen to him, no arguments. I looked up into his eyes and saw that they were lidded with desire. As I turned my back to him I couldn't help but voice my concern.

"J-Jake, whatever you're doing…uh…I don't think I can handle any teasing right…"

"Shh, Bella please. I said no games. Do you trust me?" His voice was so low and husky, and filled with need. I would have done anything if he asked me with _that_ voice. I melted against him as he placed one hand at the top of my head and the other on my hip. He pulled my hips into his body and I gasped softly as I felt his arousal press into me.

"Bells, I give in." He practically whispered as he placed gentle kisses at the back of my neck. "You win. You're too beautiful…too gorgeous. I can't resist anymore. If you still want to torture me after tonight, then go ahead. I love it when you do. But, please, let me just do this for you. Let me be the weak one."

I had no idea what he meant, but as he was talking, the hand that was previously on my hip moved up my stomach and caressed my breasts causing me to moan. His other hand massaged my scalp as he gently kissed me from the base of my neck to the soft skin behind my ear. He whispered seductively.

"Whenever you want me to stop, just say the word."

His tongue swirled inside my ear and I felt his teeth nibbling on my earlobe. He pressed his nose into my hair and nuzzled me while inhaling deeply. I was absolutely putty in his hands. I had no idea what he was up to, but I didn't care, because so far, it felt wonderful. Jacob's right hand left my hair and reached in front of me to caress my breast. His left hand then moved down to my stomach. Moisture pooled between my legs as his tongue licked back down my neck and he gently nipped at my shoulder. I moaned as his right hand continued massaging my breasts. The fingers of his other hand traced lightly across my stomach, up and down, skimming the waistband of my shorts.

My eyes widened in surprise and I looked over my shoulder back at Jacob's beautiful face. His lips met mine hungrily, while his tongue moved to taste mine. He gently bit my tongue and sucked it into his mouth moaning. I felt his hard member twitch and throb against my backside. The hand on my stomach slowly moved towards my center. We both held our breaths as his hand grazed my mound over the thin layer of clothing. When he saw that I wasn't resisting, he took a deep breath and slowly moved his hand under my shorts and cupped my mound. We both moaned simultaneously.

He kissed me again with urgency as his long fingers explored my already slick folds. In the sexiest voice ever, he buried his head against my neck and said, "Oh God…Bella…mmm…so wet."

I couldn't take it anymore. I turned in his arms and threw my hands in his hair pulling his lips to mine. His hand stayed on my mound as his fingers continued to slide up and down. From this new angel he was able to raise my tank top up and over my breasts, exposing my bare skin for the first time. The shirt was tossed, forgotten, on the floor. Just like in my dream, Jacob whispered, "So beautiful," as he licked and kissed my nipples.

"Jake, I…oh…"

I couldn't finish because his fingers deftly stroked and flicked my nodule of nerves, sending waves of pleasure up my spine and out towards my limbs. My toes curled at the sensation. His fingers teased my entrance as he continued rubbing my bundle of nerves. After a while of this beautiful, slow torture, he pushed his long finger into my entrance while circling my bundle with his thumb. The moment his finger penetrated me I let out a surprised moan. His lips crashed back into mine as his tongue moved in and out of my mouth in the same rhythm as his finger.

I had never felt a sensation like this before. I had never pleasured myself, so I didn't know what an orgasm could feel like. I was panting in excitement at the waves of pleasure rippling out from my core. It was like that was the only part of me that existed. I couldn't feel my legs, my arms. I was reduced to a bundle of nerves between my legs and it was causing me to come apart at the seams. Jacob sensed that I was close and inserted another finger, pumping in and out while his thumb expertly stimulated my mounting desire.

My back arched up off the bed thrusting my exposed breasts into his face. My hands left his hair and gripped the bed sheets for support. I couldn't help but moan and cry out in reaction to the pleasure I was feeling. His free hand grasped one breast while his mouth sucked on the other, pulling the nipple between his teeth. Pressure was building in the very pit of my stomach as Jacob's thrusts got harder and went deeper into my core, worshipping my nerves from the inside.

All of a sudden, the damn burst. My body clenched down around Jacob's slick fingers as blood rushed to my head making me dizzy and causing my eyes to roll back. He continued to stroke my bundle as he slowly pushed me over the brink causing my hips to jerk involuntarily. In a moment of pure ecstasy I cried out, "Jacob!" My breathing was fast and labored. I thought my heart would explode, the pounding was so loud. He slowed his movements allowing me to gently come down from the precipice.

When I opened my eyes, he was staring at me like I was a goddess. I was speechless and my body was tingling in the most pleasant way. Jake's fingers slowly slid out of my core and he placed them in his mouth, never breaking eye contact. He licked his fingers clean and moaned seductively. My eyes were wide in shock and amazement.

"Mmm, Bells, you taste as good as you smell."

When I didn't say anything, worry crossed his face.

"Honey, are you okay? Oh God, did I hurt you? I didn't think…"

It was hard to find my voice, but I knew I needed to say something.

"Jake that was…that was amazing. I had no idea that could feel like that. I…I'm speechless."

A goofy grin spread across his face. He wrapped me in his arms and it was then that I realized I was still shirtless. I felt self-conscious just for a moment, but Jake pressed me close to him and kissed me so tenderly that I forgot how exposed I was. I was in the arms of someone who loved me and respected me. I didn't need to feel self-conscious. I felt beautiful and alive.

"Bells, you're absolutely the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. But the look on your face when…well…when…I mean, I can't even describe it."

I blushed furiously and tried to hide my face behind my hair. He chuckled brushing my hair behind my ears and kissing the tip of my nose. He lay back while I rested my head on his chest. I was so relaxed and spent that I felt like I could fall asleep at any moment. I couldn't stifle a yawn. Jacob just laughed and held me tighter. He stroked my hair and let one hand rub up and down my bare back. He kissed me on the trop of my head and said, "Sleep, my Bella. I love you."

I was about to nod off when I thought of how aroused he was earlier. I wondered why he wasn't rushing to the bathroom to take care of things. I felt bad that he would have another night like last night. I blurted out, "Jake, what about you?" He smiled into my hair, "Don't worry beautiful. The look on your face earlier, and knowing that I'm the one who put it there, is enough for me. I'm okay. Thank you for letting me do this for you. Mmm, let's go to sleep."

I fell asleep, back in his arms, exactly where I belonged.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight, I do NOT.**

**Author's Note: **Sorry it took me so long to post this. I think I spoiled you all by posting the last two chapters back to back. I hope you like it. Please let me know if you do.

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

My skin was on fire. The heat wasn't enough to burn. It was just hot enough to let me know I was alive. I awoke to the feeling of burning arms wrapped around me, covering my breasts and my hips while my back was pressed up against the source of the heat. I felt his hot, wet tongue slowly lick from the base of my neck to my ear. I moaned involuntarily and opened my eyes. My breath caught in my throat as I turned my head and saw the hungry look in Jacob's eyes. He whispered, "Good morning, beautiful." I rolled onto my back as he hovered over me. He kissed me passionately pressing his hot skin onto my bare chest.

I blushed furiously as I remembered how I lost my shirt in the first place. I bit my lower lip and lowered my eyes while I attempted to cover myself with my arms. Jacob's brows furrowed as he grabbed my hands. His fingers intertwined with mine as he raised our arms over my head, holding them down against my pillow. This new angle caused my back to arch making my nakedness even more prominent.

"Why are you trying to cover yourself? You do know I've been staring at you all morning, right?" He chuckled as I blushed a deeper shade of red. "You're beautiful. You don't have to hide from me."

His lips melted onto mine and my resistance faded. I returned his kiss with urgency. His fingers released mine as his hands moved down to caress my face. I, in turn, wrapped my arms around his neck letting my hands roam the soft contours of his shoulders and back. He buried his face in my neck, giving us both a chance to breathe.

My mind wandered. Last night was a milestone in our relationship. There was an evident shift in the dynamic between us. We shared an experience that was not only exciting and exhilarating, but one that required trust and respect. I had never felt so exposed and vulnerable, yet comfortable at the same time. I had never experienced pleasure like that and now that I had a taste, I didn't think it was possible to get enough. My heart felt like it would explode in my chest from the excitement. I faintly heard Jacob's voice.

"Come back to me."

I looked into his eyes questioningly. He simply smiled my favorite smile, pointing to my head and asked, "Where did you go, Bells?"

"Oh, I was just thinking."

"About?"

"You…us…last night…how great it is to wake up feeling your hands all over my skin."

He smiled wickedly at me. "Good, cuz I was in the middle of this pretty awesome make-out session with my girlfriend when she started daydreaming. That's not great for the ego. But, since you were thinking about me, I guess that's okay."

"Well, I'm glad you think so because you're all I _can_ think about. Last night…was amazing." I couldn't believe my brashness when I added, "I can't wait for a repeat performance."

His eyes darkened with lust and my core heated in anticipation. Jacob growled softly before leaning in to kiss me. I returned the kiss hungrily, showing him how much I wanted him. He must have understood because he moaned into my mouth as his hands moved to my backside, gripping my ass and pressing his arousal against my core.

Jacob's tongue was busy exploring my mouth. He sucked my tongue into his mouth and gently bit my lip. I couldn't take it anymore. I had a burning desire to make him feel as good as he made me feel the night before. I broke the kiss and placed my hands on his beautiful chest and pushed him gently off of me. His eyes widened in confusion, but I just smiled seductively and pushed him down so that his back was on the mattress.

I leaned over him and kissed him with all the desire that was pooling between my legs. My hand traced a line from his chest past his rippled abs and ended up circling the edge of his sweatpants. I licked his bottom lip and pushed my tongue into his welcome mouth. My hand slowly moved under the waistband of his pants. I was about to move into uncharted territory when Jacob grabbed my hand.

Eyes wide with concern, Jacob said, "Bells, you don't have to do that." The look on his face was so sweet and understanding. He didn't want me to feel obligated to reciprocate. If it was humanly possible, I would say I loved him even more in that moment.

"Jake, I know I don't _have_ to. I _want_ to. I want to know what you feel like. I want to make you feel the kind of pleasure you made me feel. And, I want to know that it's me making you feel that way."

His eyes softened and his hands caressed my face bringing my mouth to his. He kissed me hungrily and passionately. All of a sudden I was nervous. I swallowed hard and with a determined look on my face I lowered my hand back to the waistband of his sweats. His body stiffened and his jaw clenched, but his eyes stayed closed. With deliberate movements I slowly moved my fingers under the waistband and caressed the hard muscle leading towards his manhood. The tension in the air was palpable as my hand finally grasped his impossibly large arousal. The tension in his body released as he moaned my name at the touch. It was the most beautiful sound he ever made and I was anxious to hear it again.

I began slowly stroking the length of him, up and down. I knew he was enjoying it because a goofy grin was plastered on his face. I, on the other hand, was enjoying the discovery aspect. I had never done anything like this before and I had only felt Jacob's hardness through layers of clothing. It was a whole new world to actually touch and feel his arousal in my small hand.

I needed more room to maneuver, to pleasure him properly. I tugged on his sweats, pulling them down as much as I could. Jacob got the hint and within an instant arched his hips so that he could pull the pants all the way off. There he was, for the first time in front of my eyes, in all his naked glory. I giggled because in my mind I could almost hear a choir singing "ta-da" and a spotlight shining on him. It was so silly to think that way, especially in the moment, but he really looked like a god. He was a sculptor's dream.

Jacob frowned at my giggling and tried pulling the sheet over him. "Thanks a lot, Bells."

"No, Jake, I'm sorry. I was just admiring you. I've never…_seen_ you before. You're beautiful."

"Bells, nothing compares to you."

I blushed as his hands caressed my face. His words were filled with love and admiration, for _me_. I threw myself into the kiss as I lay on top of him, one of my legs resting between his. I felt his erection resting against my thigh. My tongue teasingly fought with his, as my hand went back to stroking his massive length.

I was filled with confidence as my ministrations had Jacob moaning against my lips. His hands moved down to my exposed breasts, fondling them and heating my flesh with his warmth. My hand brushed against his tip and I spread the moisture that collected there around the head. Jacob's kiss became more frantic as my stroking increased. We were both panting as a thin sheen of sweat spread over both our bodies. I stroked him harder and harder as our mouths hungrily devoured each other. Just when I thought I couldn't continue much longer, Jacob's body tensed and he put my body in a death-grip. I felt his release as he practically shouted, "Bella!"

We both lay silently trying to catch our breaths. We had huge grins on our faces. He was euphoric due to his release while I was so excited to have given him the same pleasure he had given me. After a few moments of recovery, Jacob used the sheet to clean us up and then flipped us so that he was on top of me. He placed fevered kissed all over my face and neck as he said, "Oh, God Bells. Wow! I mean…wow!"

I giggled like a school girl and kissed him hugging him close to me. The length of his body was pressed to mine as I took in the fact that Jacob was completely naked. He distributed the bulk of his weight on his arms as his tongue traveled down my neck and chest and circled my nipples. My core was already on fire for him, but his wet tongue and hot breath was pushing me over the edge.

His head moved down my body while his hands massaged and kneaded my breasts. He kissed me between my breasts, then on my stomach letting his tongue swirl in and around my navel. My back arched up into him at the sensation. He moved down between my legs, his hot breath sending a tingling sensation through my core. His hands clenched around my hips as he placed a soft kiss on my center, through the barrier of my shorts. I whimpered at the contact.

"Jake, ah…that feels…"

He kissed my center again as his hands pulled my shorts down past my hips. He gently kissed my hipbones then licked and nipped the exposed skin with his teeth. My hands gripped the bed sheets in anticipation. Jacob effortlessly lifted my hips off the bed so that he could pull my shorts off completely, leaving me fully exposed.

I felt my heart slow as I held my breath waiting for Jacob to make his next move. I heard, rather than saw him take a deep breath and moan my name. "Bells…wow…you're just too beautiful." And then I felt his warm tongue lick from my wet entrance to my bundle of nerves in one long, slow, and deliberate move. His arms wrapped around my waist so that his hands rested on my stomach. His tongue licked and sucked at my slick, tender folds. I couldn't think; I couldn't formulate words. Jacob's tongue ravished me into incoherency. Just when I thought I'd lose my mind from the pleasure, the pressure in my core released and I was shaking from only the second orgasm of my life. Jacob licked and lapped up all the juices from my release as I slowly came back down to earth.

Jacob crawled back up my body so that we were face to face. I was sure that the look of pure joy on his face must have mirrored mine. His hand lazily roamed from my center, causing my body to jerk at the touch, up my body and rested on my face. He kissed me letting his tongue wrestle with mine, leaving my own taste in my mouth.

We were hot, sweaty, and excited. Not to mention the fact that we were also completely naked. I looked into Jacob's eyes and saw hesitation. I loved what we had done, but I wasn't ready to go any further, at least not that day. As usual, Jacob seemed to read my mind and he kissed me chastely on the lips while bringing the sheet up to cover us.

He lay on his back with one arm behind his head while his other arm pulled me close so that my head rested on his chest. His hand rubbed up and down my arm soothingly. I couldn't get the smile off my face and I looked up and saw that Jacob was having the same problem. We sat in silence enjoying the moment until my cell phone rang. Jake jumped up to retrieve in from my bag and noted that it was Billy on the line.

"It's my dad, Bells. I have to take this."

He quickly put his pants back on and sat at the end of the bed. I didn't begrudge him talking to his father; after all, he did owe him for everything he had put him through. But it just illustrated the fact that reality was slowly creeping back into our lives. I sighed contentedly and waited for Jacob to finish the call so that we could get ready to hit the road.

We spent the next week or so caught up in the same routine; drive all day, spend night in cheap motel, repeat as necessary. Life on the road would have been unbearable if we didn't have each other. After we pushed the boundaries of our physical relationship, it was like all the walls I had ever built up were destroyed. We were so open and honest with each other. I never knew a relationship could be like this.

We didn't let the monotony of our trip get to us. We filled all our free time with talking, sight-seeing, and self-discovery. We spent every night locked in each other's arms, sometimes just kissing, other nights kissing _and_ touching. Our nights were always filled with love and respect for one another. I was so happy that I decided to come home with Jacob. I thought I knew everything about him, but with all our late night talks and plans for the future, I discovered there was so much more to him, which only made me fall deeper in love with him.

Everywhere we went we got strange looks. Here we were, a giant of a man riding around on a motorcycle with a petite stick of a girl like me. Jacob's loud barking laugh burst out wherever we went which made me happy in turn. We were asked several times if we were newlyweds. Sometimes Jacob would say yes, just to play along. It didn't frighten me that I liked the way that sounded.

We were only a day or so from Forks when we decided to find a place where we could camp for the night. We headed towards a small camping area near the Idaho-Oregon border. It was a woodsy area that had plenty of rivers, lakes and small ponds for ambiance. We had been driving for hours and I was anxious to settle in for the night. It sounded like a great place to stop before the trials and tribulations of reality kicked in.

I was also looking forward to spending some "quality" time with Jake outside of a cheap hotel room. It wasn't like I had any specific plans for this evening, but the idea of being with Jacob all night in the open air was exhilarating to say the least.

We left the open highway and headed towards a dense, wooded road. The fresh pine scent in the air was intoxicating. In my mind it complimented Jacob's natural pine, musky scent. I leaned into his back letting my hands caress his chest. He flexed his pectorals which made me giggle in spite of myself. The closer we got to our campsite, the more excited and, (dare I admit it), aroused I got.

I thought I'd have a little fun with Jacob on the way. I left one hand on his chest while I slowly dragged the other to stroke and rub his abs. I felt his body tense slightly against me, but that was the only reaction. I pushed my hot center harder against his backside, essentially telling him what I couldn't say with words. I could swear I heard a stifled groan through his helmet. I moved both hands down past his hips, and slowly scratched my nails up and down his thighs. I pressed my body closer to him and squeezed him tightly between my legs to maintain my balance on the moving bike. Other than the stifled groan and tense body, Jacob hadn't really reacted to my touching. I felt compelled to take it a step further. I let one hand casually stroke the juncture between his legs. I was pleasantly surprised to find he was already stiff at my touch. I smiled to myself and bit my lower lip in anticipation.

_I_ had this effect on Jacob. I loved that the simplest things could make him putty in my hands. More importantly, I loved that I was free to experiment with him. He thoroughly enjoyed me, every part of me. He never made me feel silly, foolish, or whorish. I gently cupped his erect member in my hand and then squeezed while my other hand continued its sensual scratching of his thigh. I kept rubbing his arousal and felt it strain against his jeans. My breath quickened as I sped up my ministrations.

All of a sudden, we slowed down and Jacob pulled over onto the side of the road. He hopped off the bike, tore his helmet off and threw it to the ground. He reached for my helmet and tossed it to the side next to his. His eyes were feral, and his jaw was clenched. I thought he was trying to look intimidating, but I just got more aroused instead. His erection was still painfully obvious through the tough fabric of his jeans. I was straddling the bike, my hands resting on my thighs waiting for his next move. Jacob stood right next to me with his hands firmly grabbing both sides of my face. His voice was low and husky.

"Bella, if you want to get through this ride in one piece, then I suggest you stop that. _You_…are deadly."

His eyes burned into mine and I knew he wasn't angry. He was excited beyond belief. I stared at him wide-eyed until he leaned in for the hardest, lust-filled kiss we had ever shared. He grabbed the leg farthest from him and picked it up over the bike and hitched it around his waist so that he was now the only thing between my legs. He kissed me hungrily for several minutes. I was vaguely aware of the sound of a few cars passing us, some of which honked, and I knew I was blushing furiously in response. But, I just couldn't find it in me to be too embarrassed, because I was in Jacob's arms. He made it impossible for me to care what other people thought.

He broke the kiss and dropped my leg gently back so that I was now leaning against the bike. He bent down so that he was eye level with me.

"Bells, can I trust you? You're not going try that again are you? Because, if you can't control yourself around me, well then I guess I'll just have to take care of business right here, right now. Is that what you want?"

His smirk was back and I knew he was just toying with me. On the other hand, the look in his eyes told me that a part of him wished I would say that I couldn't control myself. But, we both knew that this was neither the time nor the place for that. I grudgingly told him that I'd behave and he retrieved our helmets. We both got situated on the bike. I put my arms back around Jacob's waist. He grabbed my hands and turned his head while pressing my hands firmly into his waist.

"Here, Bells…they stay _here_!"

I laughed at his demonstration. I already promised I'd be good. I played along and replied, "Sir, yes, sir!" I gave him a firm salute for emphasis. He rolled his eyes, started the engine and we were back on the road.

We pulled into our campsite just as the sun was setting. It was a beautiful clearing surrounded by woods on three sides. The fourth side was a small pond that was edged in by a small cliff. We had ultimate privacy for a night under the stars as there wasn't another campsite for at least five miles.

We picked up some food from a local market before we made camp. As soon as we got there, Jacob set up our tent laying out my blanket and our bags as makeshift pillows. We gathered some wood and Jacob had a fire going in no time. We ate hotdogs, chips, and drank soda. If the pack were here it would be like a regular old La Push bonfire.

After we ate, Jacob pulled a huge log close to the fire so that we could lean against it. He waved me over and I sat against his chest between his legs enjoying the moment. He wrapped his arms around me warding off the chill and I held his hands in mine. We talked and reminisced for a while before falling into a comfortable silence.

"Bells, want to go for a night swim?"

"Uh, sure, let me just get my suit."

He flashed me a wicked smile as I got up to fetch my bag.

"Who said anything about suits?"

And with that, Jacob threw off his shirt and kicked of his boots and socks. He practically tore off his jeans and threw them to the side. He was standing stark naked in front of me, without shame. He winked at me before running into the water and then diving in.

I stood between the shore and our fire, speechless. It was so dark that I could barely make out Jacob's body gracefully gliding through the water.

"Bells come on in. The water's a little cool, but I'll keep you warm."

Yeah, I bet you will Jacob Black! I knew he was smiling with every word he said. He was baiting me. The old Bella would have sat down by the fire and waited for Jacob to get out of the water and put some clothes on. The new Bella was a little more adventurous. I admired Jacob for how free and comfortable he was in his own skin. He was at peace with nature. Why couldn't I be the same? So, I stood on the shore and stripped. First I took off my t-shirt, then my shoes, socks, and finally my jeans. I stood there wearing nothing but my white cotton bra and panties. Jacob was silent and the water in the pond was still. I knew he was watching me with baited breath. I walked a few feet in to the shallow water to let my body adjust to the cold temperature. When I was close enough to see Jacob's face in the moonlight, I reached back and unhooked my bra letting the straps fall down my arms. I threw the bra towards the tent. I took another step into the water before hitching my fingers into my waistband and slowly bending down and pulling my panties down my legs. I stepped out of them and tossed them towards the shore. I pulled my hair out of my ponytail and let it fall down my back and over my shoulders. I heard Jacob suck in a breath and I smiled warmly. I kept walking until I was waist deep before I dove head first swimming towards Jacob.

When I got to him I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. His eyes were wide and his mouth was open in shock.

"What, you didn't think I could do it, did you?"

"No, it's not that. It's just…you…Do you know that painting where that naked chick's standing on a clam in the water?"

"Uh, yeah, Botticelli's _The Birth of Venus_. What about it?"

"Bells, you looked like her just now."

I thought back to that painting and remembered how much I liked the fact that the women were depicted to look more robust and rounded, like real women. I thought I'd mess with Jacob a bit.

"Oh, so you're saying I look chubby?"

With all seriousness, Jacob replied in an awed tone, "No, Bella, you looked like a goddess."

I let his words linger in the air. What does one say to that? I decided it was best not to say anything. I smiled at him and took his hand pulling him deeper into the water with me. We swam for a long time, enjoying the water gliding over our exposed bodies. After a while, I started to get the chills. Jacob noticed and swam up to me enveloping me in his arms. I was instantly warm at his touch.

He pushed my slick hair back away from my eyes and kissed my brow. In that moment, I knew everything was about to change. I was in love with this boy, this man in my arms. He was everything a girl could want. He was self-assured, determined, loving, thoughtful, and funny. He made me want to be a better person. In the water, under the stars, and in the light of the moon, I knew I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. And, I wanted to show him.

His warm eyes searched mine. I kissed him with abandon and he returned my advance with equal intensity. My legs wrapped around his waist and I felt the proof of his arousal. My hands slid into his hair pulling him closer. I was frantic in my need for him. My tongue worked his, driving him to frenzy. He moaned against my mouth.

"Jake, I need you, _now_."

"Bells, are you sure?"

"I've never been surer about anything or anyone in my life Jacob. I love you."

"I love _you_."

He held me tightly as he slowly walked towards the shore. I couldn't believe this was really happening. I was nervous, not because I didn't want to do this, but because I wanted it more than anything. I trusted him completely. I had finally found my sunshine and embraced the warmth and the light it provided. Jacob continued his beautiful assault on my mouth as we moved closer to the tent. A song began to play in the back of my mind. It was silly, but it captured everything I was feeling at that moment.

_**You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…**_

Jacob caressed my cheek. He bent down to get inside the tent. He lay me down gently and lingered by my side.

_**You make me happy when skies are gray…**_

He looked into my eyes like I was the only face he'd ever _truly_ seen. There was so much love and devotion in his gaze that I thought I would cry from the feeling.

_**You'll never know dear, how much I love you…**_

I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down to me. He hesitated.

"Wait, Bella, before we go any further, I have to tell you something. It's the last piece of my soul that I've kept from you. I have my reasons. I just don't want there to be _any_ secrets between us."

I was too happy to even consider the implications of his words. "What is it, Jake?"

He took a deep breath.

"Bella, I imprinted…"

His mouth kept moving, so I knew he was still talking, but I couldn't hear him. My ears closed. It was like I was drowning listening to someone scream at me from the surface. Jake…imprinted. Was all this a lie? My whole world shattered and fell apart. Then everything went black.

_**Please don't take my sunshine away.**_


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do NOT.**

**Author's Note: Thank you to EVERYONE who reviewed the last chapter. I got the best respose ever. I'm so glad you all like the story. I hope this chapter makes up for the cliffhanger. Please read and review. Thanks!**

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

I was drowning. Despair had overwhelmed me and it was dragging me under. It was cold and dark. I couldn't see, couldn't breathe. My heart was shattered into a million pieces and I knew I'd never be the same again. A part of me resigned itself to this fate. It wanted to embrace the dark. I fell deeper and deeper into the lonely abyss.

From a distance a voice faintly called out to me. I wanted the peace the darkness offered, so I ignored it and sank deeper. The voice became stronger, louder until I could feel my body shake with the vibrations. The voice was a lure, coaxing me out of the depths. I didn't want to answer, but I was caught and slowly brought to the surface, back to the light.

"Bella, Bella? Please wake up. Talk to me. Are you alright? Bella?"

I opened my eyes. I was disoriented. I looked around to get my bearings. I remembered I was in a tent and light came in through the flap from a small campfire outside. Jacob and I were spending the night under the stars. And then it all came back to me. Jacob imprinted.

"Bells? Oh, thank God. You scared the hell out of me."

I took a moment to reassess my surroundings. Jacob was leaning over me, eyes wide with a combination of fear and relief. He was wearing his jeans, nothing else. I looked down at myself and noticed that I was now wearing my t-shirt and jeans. I thought to myself, wow, how nice of Jacob to at least put my clothes back on before he officially ripped my heart out. Much more dignified that way. I was wrapped in the blanket to ward off the cold, but I realized that nothing could remove the cold that had invaded my heart. I had turned to stone.

Before I completely wallowed in self-pity, I decided that I deserved some answers. This wasn't the same girl Edward left alone in the woods. I was a woman now. I still had growing up and learning to do, but I'd be damned if I was going to let him get away with this without owning up to what he'd done. I guess there was some fire left in my cold, dead heart after all.

Anger swelled in the pit of my stomach as I shouted, "You son of a bitch! How dare you? How could you do this to me? Was everything you said to me a lie? Was this all some sort of sick game to punish me for hurting you?"

I sat up and pushed Jacob away as I headed for the tent flap. My words shot out of my mouth like venom and I saw the hurt in Jacob's eyes with every question. I refused to feel bad, or take pity on him. I was in love with him and yet he knew he was "destined" to be with someone else. He was using me for…for what? Sex? Oh that sick…

I threw off the blanket and stumbled out of the tent with Jacob following close behind. Half of me wanted to just run away. The other part refused to leave without forcing this confrontation. I spun around to face him. He staggered back after seeing the agony and anger burning in my eyes.

"Bella, what's wrong? What did I do? Were we moving too fast? I thought you wanted to. I…"

"Are you kidding me? Jacob, you imprinted! This whole time you've been telling me that you're in love with me while you've been cheating on your…your…imprint! Who is she Jacob? Is it someone I know? I'll be sure to congratulate her on her great catch!"

His eyes were wide and he looked stunned. What, did he expect me to just take it? To not be angry, to not fight back? If so, then he really didn't know the new me.

"Bella, what the _fuck_ are you talking about?"

I was seething. I was so angry that my body was shaking uncontrollably. I imagined that this was what it must feel like when he was about to phase. He was actually trying to play dumb. I was on the verge of screeching when I replied.

"I'm talking about the fact that you lied to me. You imprinted and still strung me along having me think that you still loved me. All of our plans for the future just went down the drain. Hell, why bother telling me now? You could have just waited till we were married with children before abandoning me. It would have been much more dramatic that way."

My breath was coming in gasps. I fell to my knees on the soft ground, unable to hold back the flood of tears that spilled from my eyes. My voice was a faint whisper as I buried my face in my hands.

"You broke my heart."

Jacob dropped to his knees in front of me. His arms wrapped around me as he pulled me to rest against his chest while his hand stroked soothingly through my hair. I was too weak to resist otherwise I would have pushed him away. Instead, I sank against him like dead-weight, forcing him to hold me up.

His voice was strained and I could swear I felt his warm tears fall into my hair. "No, no, no, no, Bella. I'm _so_ sorry. I'm such a fucking idiot." He was sobbing now. Why would _he_ be crying when my heart was the one that was irrevocably broken?

"Bells, I didn't mean for it to come out the way it did. I tried to explain, but you were already fainting before I finished. This whole imprinting thing is crap! It's meaningless. That's why I didn't tell you sooner. It didn't change anything. I did lie about imprinting. For that, I really am sorry. But, everything else has been the truth. Bella, I'm in love with you. I always have been. I always will be."

I looked up into his eyes and saw the truth of his words. But, I'd been fooled before, and he had just admitted to me that he had lied. "Jake, how can your love for me be true, if you have an imprint out there? I knew this was a possibility, being with you. I told myself that loving you was worth the risk of heartbreak down the road. I just…I just never thought that it would have already happened, and that you would lie to me like this."

His hands moved to my face. He gripped me tightly and willed me to look him in the eyes. He begged with conviction and sincerity that was impossible to ignore. "Bella, stop, please. Listen to me. It's _you_! It's always been you!"

My world had already spun off of its axis. What was left, the universe to implode? My mind couldn't grasp his meaning. I was confused, heartbroken, and angry.

"That's impossible. You told me yourself that you could only imprint on someone the first time you saw them after you phased. You told me that it hadn't happened for you. No, Edward would have heard you…Oh God!"

It was as if all the wheels started turning in my brain. The puzzle pieces fell into place. That's what Edward heard the day he showed up at Renee's. Jacob must have let it slip that he had imprinted. I tugged and pulled at Jacob's arms trying to find a release from his embrace, but his arms were like a vice around me and he wouldn't let go.

Then Jacob did the unthinkable. He kissed me; slowly, fiercely, passionately, as if his very life depended on it. The tears on his face mingled with mine and I could taste the salt on our lips. I had no strength left to resist him, but the kiss was empty of all emotion on my end. He broke the kiss and eyed me warily. He sighed deeply and held me close, whispering in my ear.

"Bella, honey, it was always you. I imprinted on you." I was stunned. This couldn't be true. Everything I knew about imprinting told me that he was lying. But, my heart cried out begging me to believe him. I wanted to believe, desperately. But, was I willing to believe a lie to make myself feel better? Jacob's voice interrupted my thoughts. "Do you remember that day in the clearing, with that Laurent guy? What am I saying? Of course you remember. That filthy bloodsucker was about to kill you. Bells that was the first time I saw you since I had phased. When we showed up you looked so terrified. But, I also saw the pain and loneliness you were feeling because you thought I had abandoned you. It broke my heart. I looked into your eyes to try to reassure you that you were safe, and that I was still there for you, even if I was a wolf. And in that instant, I knew something had changed. I just couldn't put my finger on it. In that moment I knew it wasn't just my duty to protect you, it had become my whole reason for living."

"I was already in love with you, Bella. I think I started falling for you that day you flirted with me on the beach. But, in that instant, looking at you through my wolf eyes, I knew that there would never be anyone else for me. My heart already belonged to you, but with that look, my entire world was tied to you. I thought you felt something too. I mean, you locked your eyes on me and stared at me, almost as if you recognized me. But, then Sam snapped me out of it. After all, we did have a bloodsucker to kill. The fact that that bastard was about to kill you, well, let's just say that I took special enjoyment out of ripping him apart. So, with the distraction, I didn't think much about the connection I felt with you, especially since Sam kept telling me that I had to distance myself from you."

"The day you showed up at my house, the feeling returned. My heart was breaking because I couldn't be with you, but I was still being drawn to you. Every part of me needed to be with you. You were so angry and, honestly, so was I. Bella, I had this whole life thrust on me. One day I was just a kid. The next day I was a werewolf who finds out that the girl he loves is broken-hearted over a vampire, my new sworn enemy. I was angry and so bitter. I was hopeless. You were all I wanted, and now I was a monster. I wasn't good enough for you anymore. Knowing that the bloodsucker that broke your heart was also the reason for me becoming a monster in the first place…well, let's just say that was a bit too much for me to take. I hated myself for abandoning you. I already thought of myself as a monster, and now I was no better than him."

"So, I put my feelings aside and pushed you away. I listened to Sam and told you that I couldn't be with you, that I couldn't even be your friend. I was a monster who couldn't control himself around you because I might hurt you. I knew I was breaking all my promises to you, but I couldn't help it. You didn't need anymore supernatural bullshit in your life. I saw how broken you were when I left you outside that day. You just stood there in the rain, waiting for me to come back out of my house. Believe me, I wanted to. Sam and Embry had to hold me back. When you drove away, it felt like you left with my only reason for living. I couldn't deal with what I was doing to you. That's why I came to your room that night. I needed to make it up to you."

I listened intently as Jacob recounted those painful experiences from his point-of-view. I remembered looking into Jacob's wolf-eyes that day in the meadow. Of course, I didn't realize that it really was Jacob at the time. I remembered seeing intelligence there far beyond a mere animal and thinking how those eyes reminded me of Jacob's. Then, of course, I could never forget that day in front of his house, when I pleaded with him to tell me what was going on. I begged him to tell me why he was abandoning me when I needed him so much. Then a thought occurred to me. Jacob had told me that a wolf's imprint could be denied nothing. Once they were bound, there would be no secrets. My body stiffened in Jacob's arms and I eyed him warily.

"But, if I was your imprint, then you would have been able to tell me everything, right then and there. You could have told me that you were a werewolf. You didn't do that. You just snuck into my room and tried to make me guess what you were. Why would you do that if you were allowed to tell me? You're not making any sense. How am I supposed to believe you?"

He grabbed my face in his hands and forced me to look into his eyes. "Bella, you're right. Sam told me that I could tell you everything. But, _I_ decided I didn't want to."

His words hit me like a slap to the face. I finally found the strength to push him away. I pushed hard against his chest. He was an immovable mountain and I ended up falling back on my butt from the force. I pulled myself up off the ground and stumbled aimlessly around the campfire. Jacob was behind me in an instant. I could feel the heat radiating off of his body and I felt his breath down my neck.

"Honey, please…I didn't tell you at first because I wasn't sure how you'd accept the whole _werewolf_ thing. It felt like a life-sentence for me. I didn't want this life and I didn't want either of us to be bound by something like imprinting. I saw what it did to Sam and Leah. Yes, it's a powerful thing, but it's nothing compared to how much I love you. So, I didn't tell you. Besides, what would've been the point? You were still in love with Edward. Was I just supposed to say the magic words and then, poof, you'd be with me? We both know it wouldn't have worked out that way."

I felt this hands reach for mine. His fingers intertwined with mine as he brought our arms up to wrap around my body. He bent down so that his head nuzzled against the back of my neck.

"Bella, I didn't tell you because…I wanted you to _fall in love_ with me. I wanted you to want me for me. I didn't want you to feel obligated to me because of some freaky wolf thing. When I told you about how Sam imprinted on Emily, I saw the look in your eyes. You looked like you were happy that imprinting wasn't something you had to worry about with me. As if our relationship wasn't complicated enough, right? So, I buried it, deep inside. Whenever Edward dropped you off to visit me, I kept my mind focused on ways I could get you to fall in love with me. That's all I cared about. Imprinting never entered my mind. Sam was pretty good at blocking it from his mind so that the rest of the pack didn't know anything either. When I did think about it, it was never really in coherent thoughts, so the pack just assumed that I _wished_ I had imprinted on you."

"Before I ran away, I couldn't control my thoughts anymore. I was worn down, and beaten. I didn't have the energy it took to keep my secret hidden. You told me, to my face, that I wasn't enough for you. But, you still kissed me before you went to Jacksonville. I was so lost and confused. When I phased I let it slip to the pack that you were my imprint. They were shocked. But, then I had to deal with all their questions and advice. They kept telling me that I was an idiot and that I should just tell you and win you back. I started to second-guess myself. Did I waste all this time trying to win your love when I could have just told you we were soul-mates? I couldn't take it anymore. I had made my choice, and you didn't love me the way I needed you to. So, I ran away. I told you in Jacksonville that I didn't mean to come to you. But, my need for you drew me to you, whether I wanted to be there or not. You were like a lighthouse directing me to shore."

He slowly turned me around so that we were now facing each other. The tears had dried on our faces leaving trails to remind us of our pain. I looked him in the eye and asked, "Okay, say I believe you. Why are you telling me now? What's the point?"

He kissed my forehead and sighed, "The point is that I lied to you. I couldn't be with you anymore with that lie hanging over my head. I wanted you to know everything about me, no secrets. It was a self-preservation thing Bella. I was trying to protect myself from getting hurt even more. When Edward came back, I was ruined. You had accepted me as a werewolf, whole-heartedly. You made it possible for me to accept my fate. You made me happy. I lost the life I could've had when I became a werewolf. But, with your love and friendship, I thought we could have a future together. And then, he came back and took my future away, _again_. If I would have told you then that I had imprinted, there was no guarantee that you would choose to be with me over Edward. And if you did, I would always wonder if you did it more out of obligation than love. I would hate myself if you were miserable for choosing me over the one you really loved."

"You asked me why I'm telling you this now. Well, I know it means something to _you_. I know you've been thinking about the possibility that I could imprint on someone else, and it's been killing me. You never bring it up, but I know it's on your mind. The fact that you were willing to take the risk and be with me anyway, even if it meant you might lose me, means more to me than you'll ever know. I'm telling you now because I don't want you to ever have to worry or doubt me. I love you, Bella. I'm not going anywhere, ever."

"I'm sorry I lied to you. Like I said, I was trying to protect myself. But, it's the only thing I've been dishonest about. I really am all yours. There's nothing that I'm holding back. When Edward read my mind, he heard me thinking about how I would tell you that I had imprinted. When I realized I had let it slip I quickly thought about something else. I hadn't even thought about it in ages. But, when you told me that you chose me, I knew that I would have to tell you the truth eventually. So, of course, Edward jumped to conclusions."

Jacob's eyes were soft, but penetrating. He had just bared his soul to me and he was silently pleading with me to believe him. I thought back to his explanation of how Quil had imprinted on little Claire. I was uncomfortable with the idea, but Jacob had defended Quil's situation adamantly. He had assured me that Quil would be whatever Claire needed. He would be the fun uncle, the protective big brother, the understanding best friend. He would be whatever she needed until she grew up and could choose for herself if she wanted more. And, then, if she wanted it, he'd be a devoted husband and lover.

I thought back to my ever evolving relationship with Jacob. Even before he says he imprinted, he was always there for me. He was my sunshine when I was surrounded by dark clouds. He was my sidekick when I wanted to be reckless and my protector when my recklessness went too far. He was my friend when I needed a shoulder to cry on. And he was my lover when I decided I was ready for it. He was everything I ever needed him to be, on my terms. The truth of his words was sinking in. In my heart of hearts, I knew everything he said was true.

I stood there, staring at the man I loved and I felt the ice in my heart begin to thaw. I felt warm all over and it wasn't just from Jacob's body heat. Tears started to fall from my eyes, but this time they were tears of joy. I stood up on my toes, placing my hands on either side of Jacob's face. I looked longingly into his eyes, my voice a faint whisper.

"So, it really is me? You _imprinted_ on _me_? I really am the one?"

He smiled warmly and held me close. "Bells, it's always been you, imprint or not. You're the one."

I smiled back and kissed him with everything I had. My hands found themselves wound familiarly in his silky hair. His arms wound around my waist as I deepened the kiss. I was overwhelmed with the intensity of the passion I felt. Just a few moments before I had thought my whole world was falling apart. Then, all of the feelings of love and longing came crashing back down on me. I realized that I would always be tossed around in a sea of uncertainty. That was the way of life. But I had found my safe harbor in Jacob. With him, I could weather any storm.

I smiled against his lips laughing to myself at how horribly his confession was mishandled. "Jacob, you really are an idiot, you know?" I kissed his lips, his chin.

"I know." He kissed me up and down my neck.

"I mean, you could've handled this a whole lot better. Maybe start with the explanation…then tell me you imprinted." I licked the base of his neck and nibbled on his ear eliciting a sexy moan.

He smirked, "I know, Bells. Next time I'll do it better."

Our kissing was fevered. My legs were weak from emotional exhaustion. Jacob noticed and gathered me in his arms, bridal-style, while never breaking the kiss. I whispered, "I thought I lost you."

"I know. I can't promise you I'll never be that stupid again. But I _can_ promise you that you never have to doubt my love for you. I'm sorry that I made you doubt it now."

"I love you Jake."

"I love you Bella."

He carried me towards the tent. It was hard to believe that just a short while ago he had carried me in, naked, from the pond. It felt like days ago; a lifetime ago. He walked in through the tent flap and laid me down on the blanket. He laid next to me holding me and lovingly stroked my hair.

I gazed into his eyes and smiled. A thought occurred to me and I knew I just had to ask. "Jake what would you have done if I went ahead and married Edward? Would you have told me about the imprint then?"

"Bells, I never would have told you. Honestly, I don't know what I would've done. You saw how I reacted when you left for Jacksonville. I ran away for crying out loud. If you would've married him, then I would finally know that you didn't love me enough. Imprint or no, you were happy without me. I'd have to let you be, even if it did kill me. I would have spent the rest of my life alone and miserable."

"Jake, how can you talk like that? You would have moved on, eventually."

"Honey, I'm in love with you. The imprint just confirmed that we were really meant to be. It was you, or no one. Even if I had feelings for someone else later on in life, it wouldn't be anywhere near what I feel for you. What kind of person would I be if I got involved with someone, knowing I'd never love them completely? I'd rather be alone than cause someone that kind of pain."

I sighed, "I can't believe I almost threw this life away."

"Me either. Like I said before, you were always a little slow."

I slapped him playfully on the arm. "Yeah, well, I guess it's a good thing that I have you around to…"

Jacob's lips crashed hungrily onto mine. I melted into the kiss letting him dictate the pace. He gently broke the kiss and his hands sweetly caressed my face while he held me close. I looked up into his eyes and saw that his had closed. He looked so beautiful and peaceful. He looked like My Jacob.

"Jake, what are you doing?"

"I thought we were going to sleep."

"And why would we be doing that?"

He looked so confused it was adorable. I tugged gently on the belt loops of his jeans and bit my lower lip trying my best to look seductive.

"Jake, I want to finish what we started."

His eyes roamed from my eyes to my hand at his waist. His voice was a hoarse whisper.

"You do? I…I just thought that because of what happened…well, you'd changed your mind. I thought that maybe…you'd want to wait now."

"Jacob, do you love me?"

"You know I do."

"Do you want me?"

"More than anything."

I whispered in his ear as my tongue circled his earlobe, "Then show me."

His eyes widened in surprise. I could feel his arousal against my hand. I thought he would attack my body with untamed passion, but he surprised me by kissing me gently and deeply. He hovered over me while his hands explored every inch of my body. For all the fire and passion we displayed just hours earlier, he was all tenderness and sweet caresses now. I couldn't have asked for anything more. Jacob was giving me, giving us, exactly what we needed. We needed to make love, not have sex. We needed to physically affirm all the things we'd said to one another.

His warm hand traced lines up and down my arm as he parted my lips gently with his tongue. His mouth moved from my lips to my jaw, my ear, and then down to my neck. He placed gentle kisses along my collarbone and traveled to my breasts. He caressed my breasts and kneaded them gently. He slowly raised my shirt up and over my head, tossing it to the side. He worshipped my breasts with his tongue licking on and around my nipples. I moaned in ecstasy. Jacob brought his mouth back to mine and dug his hands firmly into my hair.

My body arched up into his and this time he moaned at the contact. I felt his hardened manhood pressing against my thigh. His hands moved to my waist as he fumbled with the button and zipper. Between the two of us, we managed to get my pants down and out of the way in no time. I was lying beneath him totally naked. He kissed me lightly on the mouth and whispered, "You're so beautiful."

He sat up on his knees and took my right leg in his hands. He raised my foot to his mouth and kissed my toes, my heel, my ankle, and caressed my calf and thigh. His kisses continued up my leg as he licked and lightly bit my inner thigh. I whimpered at the sensation. I felt his warm breath hover teasingly over my center before he moved to my left leg. This time he kissed and licked from my thigh back down to my foot. He then gently grabbed both of my legs and wrapped them tightly around his waist as he lay on top of me. His hands tangled in my hair as he kissed me passionately. The passion between us was brought to a slow boil. I was in danger of over-heating from the contact with his burning skin. I felt the rough fabric of denim rubbing against my sensitive core and winced slightly. I tugged at his jeans while I undid the button and pulled down the zipper. I yanked the jeans down past his hips while my hand roamed his abs and the muscular v leading to his arousal. He briefly pulled away from me, stepping out of his pants and tossing them on the pile of my own clothes.

Jacob lay back on top of me and my legs automatically re-wrapped around his waist. My arms reached around his neck and I brought our mouths together. I couldn't get enough of this slow, seductive Jacob. The taste of his tongue on mine made me wet with anticipation. Jacob's tongue moved with mine in a seemingly endless dance. I never wanted him to stop, though I wanted, no, needed, so much more.

As if he could sense my need, Jacob's long, glorious fingers found there way to my throbbing center. He moaned into my mouth as he stroked up and down my slick folds, my core begging to be entered. He gently stroked my sensitive bundle of nerves. My hips bucked up at the slightest touch and I knew that it wouldn't take much to find my release. Jacob continued kissing me passionately while his fingers deftly brought me to a mind-blowing release. At the moment of my climax, he inserted two fingers into my core, gently, but masterfully pumping in and out bringing me to a second release instantaneously. I cried out in ecstasy as he kissed my neck and sucked on my ear.

Jacob's fingers continued to work my core. My need for him was primal. He had already brought me to new heights of pleasure, but I wanted more. I wanted all of him. I wanted to be joined as one. I was so breathless, I was panting. "Jake, I need you, now. Please."

His fingers slowly left my core leaving me feeling empty at the loss of contact. He reached over to my bag and fumbled through it frantically. I leaned up on my elbows, my hair cascading down my chest.

"Jake, what are you doing?

He pulled something out of the bag and held it in his hands like it was precious. "I'm looking for this." He held up a condom. Now was not the time to be thinking about Renee, but all of a sudden I was so grateful that she was pushy and interfering. Leave it to Jacob to be clear-thinking. I had a one-track mind and being responsible was the last thing that would have occurred to me. I sat up and threw my arms around his neck hugging him close to me. I placed frenzied kisses all over his face and neck while he opened the packet. He fumbled with the condom for a moment before he finally placed it on his erect member.

His hands were shaking slightly and I reached for them, wrapping my fingers through his. I pulled him down on top of me, kissing him all the way. I felt his hardened manhood press up against my core. We stared into each other's eyes and it was as if time stood still. Jacob pushed the tip of his member into my slick center. Our eyes remained locked on one another's. I silently urged him to continue by thrusting my hips up to meet his stroke. He whispered, "Bells, I love you," and slowly eased himself into my core, up to the hilt.

I instantly cried out in a mixture of pleasure and pain. Jacob groaned, breathing heavily in my ear. "Oh God, Bells. You feel so…ungh." It took my body just a moment to adjust to the sheer size of him. My core felt impossibly stretched to accommodate him. He buried his head in my neck waiting for my signal to continue. I felt his heart pounding against his chest and knew that it was ready to burst from the excitement, just like mine. I moaned letting him know I was ready for more. Jacob slowly withdrew and then plunged back into me, sheathing himself within my core. He continued his gentle thrusts while kissing me passionately. His hands massaged my breasts, his thumbs circling the nipples making them hard and pert. My legs wound tighter around his waist, my ankles locking allowing his thrusts to go deeper and deeper into my core. My hands roamed his back, my nails gently scratching up and down.

I felt myself slowly building to another earth-shattering orgasm. I needed to hear Jacob say the words that set my soul on fire.

"Jake, please, say it!"

Without question or hesitation, Jacob moaned, "I love you." He began to thrust harder and deeper, hitting my bundle of nerves from within my very center. I was panting in response, all feeling focused on my burning core.

"Jake, say it again!"

"I love you!"

"Again!"

"I love you!"

With his final declaration, Jacob thrust into me hitting all my nerves inside and out. My body clenched around his member as my back arched up and my hips bucked. My head spun as the pleasure spread from my core, out across my body. My mouth dried and I had to lick my lips to generate any moisture. It was as if my release was sending shockwaves throughout my body. My skin was tingling from my scalp to my toes. Jacob's eyes were locked on mine, watching in awe as I enjoyed my release. My hands moved to his buttocks and I squeezed hard and dug my nails into his skin, pushing him harder into my throbbing center. His body tensed and I felt him reach his own release shortly thereafter. He moaned sexily, "Oh, God, Bella!"

We lay still for several minutes, just enjoying the contact of our bodies. Slowly, Jacob withdrew from me, instantly leaving me feeling hollow and empty without him. He bent down and placed chaste kisses at my center, my navel, between my breasts, and finally on my lips. That kiss was slow, sensual, and full of love.

"Jake, I love you so much." I couldn't contain my happiness. A lone tear fell from my eye and Jacob kissed and licked it away.

"Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

"No, Jake, I'm more than okay. I'm just so happy."

"I love you Bells."

"I love you Jake, more than anything."

He held me tightly in his arms, throwing the blanket over us. As my head rested on his chest, I thought back on everything that had transpired that day. I knew he loved me, he had done nothing but prove that to me ever since I had known him. We had a scary moment there when I thought he had imprinted on someone. When he told me that it was me all along, and that he didn't tell me to protect himself, he showed just how noble and honorable he was. Yes, he was protecting himself from getting hurt, but more importantly, he resisted using that fact to win me over. He relied on himself, on his strengths, on his soul to win me over, which, of course, he eventually did.

I felt him breathing heavily and thought that he must have fallen asleep. We had shared the most wonderful experience. My hand lazily traced the muscles of his chest and abs. I accidentally, (on purpose), let my hand trail beyond Jacob's waist and felt his manhood was still hard and ready. I gasped in surprise and then I heard Jacob's sultry voice.

"Why are you surprised? I told you I always want you."

He slowly turned me onto my back and proceeded to make love to me all night long.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do NOT.**

**A/N: I know it's been about two weeks since my last update. Sorry about that. This chapter just took me a little longer than expected. By the way, the little lemon in this chapter was done on the insistence of my Beta, Christine. If you don't like it, blame her. ******

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

My body was stiff and sore, yet I couldn't imagine being more comfortable. Last night had been the best night of my life, apart from the gross misunderstanding, of course. When Jacob and I made love, I felt a deeper connection than I knew was possible. It wasn't just a physical connection, although that was phenomenal. It was the look in his eyes when we had sex that told me he felt it too. His eyes were so full of love, all for me.

I had learned a lot about Jacob last night. It was like the last piece of his puzzle was put in place and I could finally see the whole picture. The fact that Jacob imprinted on me surprised the hell out of me. It bothered me that he had kept the truth from me, but I understood why he did. I would have done the same thing were I in his position. He didn't do it to limit my choices. He did it to broaden my choices. He did it because it was the honorable thing to do. He chose to ignore the pull of the imprint so that I could figure out my true feelings for him on my own. Like Jake, I didn't put much stake into the whole imprinting thing. I had witnessed first hand the ramifications of the concept. I saw how happy Sam and Emily were. It was clear that they were perfect for each other, like two halves of the same whole. But, I also saw how imprinting had destroyed Leah. I decided that imprinting was a foreign concept to me and that I would rely on what I knew. I knew I was in love with Jacob and that he was in love with me. I didn't need him to make me whole. I just needed him to make me happy. As far as I was concerned, Jacob and I were always soul-mates. When we shared that passionate kiss before the battle with the newborns it was confirmed. The only problem was that at the time, I already had a soul-mate in Edward. I didn't think it was possible for one person to find two very different soul-mates or two equally appealing life-paths. It certainly wasn't right that one person should be torn so completely in two.

I was so happy that I left Forks when I did. I never seemed to give myself the time to figure out what I really wanted. I was clueless as to what I needed in life. My stay in Jacksonville helped me heal my torn heart. I was able to see clearly for once. I got reacquainted with the old me and I realized that I needed Jacob. Jacob loved and respected me for the person I was, not for who I could be or who he wanted me to be. He was in love with me and was willing to sacrifice his own happiness for mine.

There was a time when I would've thought that I didn't deserve the kind of love and devotion he showed me. I would have felt unworthy. But, not anymore. Jacob and I were on equal footing. We loved each other beyond words. I would never doubt that I was worthy of love again.

I woke up in Jacob's arms, my naked skin pressed tightly against his. The blanket was draped loosely over our midsections leaving our legs and arms exposed. The sun gently filtered in through the tent flap. My head rested on Jacob's chest wile my leg was tangled between his. His breathing was slow and deep. He looked beautiful, peaceful, and content. I couldn't help but smile thinking about how wonderful it felt to wake up in his arms. I snuggled closer to him, breathing in his scent letting my bare skin siphon the heat from his body. I couldn't stop the soft moan that escaped my lips as my hand casually traced patterns on his hot skin. I was in a state of euphoria. A part of me wished we could stay, just like this, forever.

I felt Jacob's warm arms wrap tightly around me. I looked up and noticed that his eyes were open, though clouded with sleep. I smiled at him and his eyes brightened in response. He pulled me up his body so that we were face to face. I leaned down and kissed him, barely able to contain my elation in being with him.

"Good morning, sleepy."

"Hmm, morning? Bells, I'd say it's at least noon, probably later."

"Really?"

Where did the time go? Jacob and I had made love until the early morning hour. We couldn't seem to get enough of each other. We brought each other to exquisite release after release. We would rest, gaze into each other's eyes, and hold one another. A touch would then turn into a caress, a caress into a kiss, and we would start all over again. We were insatiable, and as a result, I was spent.

I felt Jacob shift beneath me. He rubbed his hand up and down my back, pulling me closer with each pass. His other hand drifted to my face, angling my chin up so that he had better access to my lips. He kissed me sweetly, moaning against my mouth. He pulled me on top of him and deepened the kiss. Our passion quickly escalated only to be quelled by the loud rumblings in our stomachs. I laughed and gave Jacob a sweet peck on the cheek.

"Nice idea Jake, but I think we have other needs to attend to." We hadn't eaten anything since early the previous evening. Plus, I was with a werewolf who had more than one insatiable appetite.

We got up and dressed for our final day on the road. Jacob skillfully took down the tent and packed it on the bike with our belongings. I dug out the disposable camera Jacob had bought and took a couple of pictures of our campsite. I stood in front of the pond with the small cliff and surrounding forest behind me. I called Jacob over and gave him the camera. I wanted him to take our picture together to remember this beautiful spot where so much changed in our lives. There was one exposure left, so I knew it would have to count. He angled the camera down, but there was no way we'd both fit in the frame standing next to each other. Without a word, Jacob pulled me into his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. He then raised the camera to take our picture. I turned my body so that I was facing the camera as well. Jacob counted down the picture and right as he took the shot I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. His smile was brilliant. It was My Jacob's smile. I knew that I would treasure that photo forever.

Sadly, it was time to leave the beautiful campsite. We rode out to a local trucker's stop for a bite to eat and then quickly got back on the road. We were just a few hours from Forks. I had mixed feelings about that. On one hand, I was anxious to get home, see Charlie, and sleep in my own bed. Hell, I was excited to get a real home-cooked meal, even if I was the one who would have to cook it. On the other hand, going home meant the end to the best two weeks of my life. It meant getting into a new routine that didn't involve spending every night in Jacob's arms. Well, I guess I would just have to work on that one.

I couldn't get the smile off of my face. My body was pressed into Jacob's back, my center throbbing against his backside. The vibrations of the bike sent tingles through my flesh. The fresh air was invigorating. I pressed my body even closer to Jacob and squeezed him close between my thighs. My hands roamed the familiar territory of his toned chest. I noticed we were driving down a secluded road in the forest. Images of last night penetrated my thoughts. I thought for sure that the heat between my legs would alert Jacob to my arousal.

Every mile we got closer to Forks, my sense of urgency increased. Now that Jacob and I had crossed every physical boundary, I felt like I couldn't get enough of him. I thought back to just yesterday when I had touched him while he was driving. When he pulled over, the look of lust in his eyes nearly made my climax on the spot. I decided I wanted to see that look again. Only this time, I wouldn't stop him.

So I increased my ministrations. It was moments like these that I wished we didn't have to wear these helmets. I wanted to kiss his neck, bite and suck on his ears. Damn, stupid, safety! I massaged his chest trailing my nails lightly over his muscles. I felt his body tremble at my touch. I moved one hand between his legs and felt that he was more than ready for me. I cupped his arousal tightly in my hand while Jacob's body rumbled with his growl. He sped up and I clung to him tightly. He turned onto a dirt road leading deeper into the forest. I gripped his hips tightly wondering what he was doing. When we were deep into the forest road, Jacob brought the bike to an abrupt stop.

He hopped off the bike and threw his helmet down. Was I having déjà-vu? I took off my own helmet so I could get a better look at his face. I quickly unzipped my jacket, shrugged out of it, and tossed it to the side. The look in his eyes made me whimper with desire. He was on fire for me. He stepped in front of me, his voice husky.

"Bella, what did I tell you about doing that while I was driving? I can't control myself when you do that. Is that what you want?"

I looked him in the eye, and with a confidence I didn't even know I possessed, replied, "Uh huh." I continued breathlessly, "I…was…actually counting on it."

He smirked at me. "Now you done _did_ it."

With a brilliant smile on his face he tossed me over his shoulder like I was a ragdoll while I screeched in surprise. He ran swiftly, deep into the tree cover. He stopped abruptly and set me down against a tree. I glanced around and noticed that we were isolated, in the middle of the forest. He towered over me, leaning down, his arms extended on either side of my head. His voice was laced with desire.

"You are trying to kill me aren't you?"

I couldn't speak, at least not in complete coherent sentences. My whole body was electrified, waiting for Jacob's next move. I barely had the sense to respond.

"No, I…"

He cut me off, attacking my neck with his lips and tongue. I threw my head back and closed my eyes as I enjoyed the sensation. My knees went weak and I felt myself sliding down the tree. My downward progress was halted as Jacob's large hands planted themselves on my butt raising me up so that we were eye level. My legs wrapped firmly around his waist. I was breathless.

"You know you asked for this, right?"

Words escaped me. I only managed to nod in agreement and bit my lower lip in anticipation. My hands moved of their own volition towards his waist. I fumbled with the button and zipper of his jeans, our eyes never breaking contact. I tugged his jeans down slightly passed his hipbones and realized he wasn't wearing any boxers. I knew I shouldn't have been surprised as I couldn't recall seeing him put any on when we got dressed earlier.

The thought of us waking up, naked in each other's arms, made me blush crimson. All I could think about was the phenomenal experience we shared last night and how impatient I was to repeat it. His hands kneaded my ass firmly and deeply. I brazenly shoved my hand down his pants and caressed his already hard member. He growled, squeezing me tighter and devoured my lips with his.

"Oh God, Bella. This is…I mean you are…so fucking hot! I need you."

"Yes, Jake, please!"

My arms snaked around his neck as he pressed his lips back to mine. With my limbs wrapped around his body, his hands were free to roam mine. He reached behind his back and pulled off my shoes and socks while I held his face to mine kissing him feverishly. He then undid my pants, but due to my current position, he couldn't pull them off of me. He growled in frustration against my lips. I couldn't help but smile as I released my hold around his neck and waist and slowly slid down his body. Jacob groaned as I rubbed against his erection on my way down.

I pulled my jeans down slowly and stepped out of them leaving me in a t-shirt and underwear. As I bent down I was painfully aware of how close I was to Jacob's throbbing member. Over the past two weeks, Jacob and I had shared many sexual experiences. But, there was one thing I knew I wanted to try. I wanted to taste him. His scent had always been so appealing to me and the taste of his tongue on mine sent shivers down my spine. But, I wanted to truly taste him. I wanted him to come apart in my mouth. Before he could stop me I pulled his jeans down past his knees freeing his erection. I got down on my knees grasping Jacob's hard ass in my hands while my tongue explored his exposed shaft. Jacob gasped in surprise and rested his hands back on the tree while looking down at me. I met his eyes as I took the tip of his penis in my mouth. The shock I saw in his eyes melted into unabashed pleasure. He let out a sexy groan that made me want to devour him. I barely had enough time to taste the salty sweetness of his arousal before he growled again and pulled me to my feet.

"Bells, that's so good. But…I'm not going…last much…I need you now."

He bent down quickly to retrieve something from his pocket before hoisting me up against the tree once again. One hand cradled my backside while the other tugged at my panties. His lips found mine as we hungrily devoured each other. Next thing I knew he ripped my panties off allowing him access to my heat. He pulled back bringing a condom to his teeth tearing open the packet. I took it from his hand and rolled it down his member. He placed one hand between my back and the tree as a buffer. We locked eyes and without another word Jacob thrust into me hard and fast.

I threw my head back as we both groaned in pleasure. I raised one arm up behind me grabbing hold of the tree for leverage. My other hand scratched down his back as he pounded into me again and again. This was nothing like the sweet, tender love-making of the night before. This was pure, unadulterated primal need. We couldn't control our lust for one another. The thought lingered in our minds that this might be the last chance we had alone like this. Need drove us, but the love we shared sustained us. I felt myself being driven over the edge by Jacob's wild thrusts. I was moaning and he was grunting from the exertion. I was close to my release and I could feel that Jacob was as well. He groped my breasts through my shirt before he ripped the shirt off of me completely exposing my bra. He pinched and sucked on my already sensitive nipples through the lacy fabric just as my center clenched around his manhood bringing us to a simultaneous release.

He held me up against the tree. We were panting and sweating. We kissed passionately between our gasping breaths. Jacob gathered my tattered shirt in his hand and looked at me sheepishly.

"God, Bells, I'm so sorry. I don't know what got into me. You were just so…I don't know. It's like your body was calling to me and I couldn't resist. I didn't mean to make you feel…"

I stopped his apology with a tender kiss. "Shut up Jake. You didn't mean to make me feel what; hot, sexy, amazing? Are you serious? Did you forget who started this whole thing? Remember, I'm the one who can't seem to keep her hands to herself while you're driving. I think we both needed that Jake. We both _wanted_ that. You don't have to ever apologize for showing me how much you want me. That was wonderful."

He smiled slyly and gently lowered me back onto my own two feet. Before he pulled up his pants he took off his shirt and slipped it on over my head. He knelt down to help me into my jeans kissing me tenderly just above my center as he closed the zipper. He then pulled up his jeans stuffing my tattered panties into his pocket. I raised my eyebrow at him questioningly and he just smirked in response.

We kissed tenderly before walking hand in hand back to the bike. Jake rummaged through his bag looking for another shirt to wear. As I put my jacket and helmet on I thought it was a shame for him to ever wear a shirt. It was a crime against nature that someone with such a nice body should ever have to cover it in clothes.

We rode into Forks a couple of hours later. I was on a high from our encounter in the woods. But, each mile that brought us closer to home, brought with it anxiety about what was to come. I was nervous about how I would deal with Edward and the rest of the Cullens. Would they all hate me? Could I live with that if they did? More importantly, I was worried about how the pack would accept me after everything I had put Jacob through. I was also worried that maybe Charlie wouldn't like the idea of Jacob being my boyfriend after all. Although we didn't talk about it, Jacob sensed my discomfort and held my hand tightly to reassure me that everything would be alright.

We pulled up to my house. Charlie's cruiser wasn't in the driveway, but I knew from an earlier conversation that he'd be home momentarily. Jacob helped me with my things. He wanted to carry them inside for me, but I knew that would just lead to other things, and he really needed to get home and make amends with Billy and the pack. He strapped my helmet to the back of his bike and removed his. He hugged me, kissing me sweetly on the top of my head and again on the lips.

He stammered. "So, I'll call you later?"

I smiled warmly in response. "Please do. I'll miss you."

He turned around slowly still holding my outstretched hand as he mounted the bike. He let go grudgingly and put his helmet back on. "Bells, I'll see you as soon as I can. Bye."

He drove off without another word. I couldn't believe I missed him already. I walked into the house and headed straight for the laundry room. I emptied all my clothes into the washer and started the load. The only thing remaining was my bag of toiletries, my birth control pills, and the box of condoms. I knew I'd have to hide those from Charlie, mainly to save both of us from having yet another embarrassing conversation.

I headed upstairs to my bedroom. At least tonight I'd be sleeping in my own bed. I walked into my room and opened the drawer in my night stand, quickly depositing the contraband of pills and condoms. It was my underwear drawer, so it was pretty much a guaranteed "no fly" zone for Charlie. He would avoid that drawer like the plague.

I decided that I was in desperate need of a shower before I got dinner started. I was looking forward to cooking a nice meal for Charlie. I was about to take my shirt off when I heard a panicked velvety voice utter, "Love, you're back." I spun around and lo and behold, Edward was sitting in my rocking chair.

I jumped in surprise, startled to hear his voice. "Edward, what are you doing here?"

"I've been waiting for you, so that we could talk."

"But, how did you know when I'd be here?"

"Well, thanks to that mutt of yours I didn't. Frankly, I've been coming here every evening for the past few days, just in case."

I looked long and hard at the one-time sole object of my affections. He was beautiful. There would never be a day when I wouldn't say Edward Cullen was beautiful. His beauty just didn't have the same effect on me as it once did. On closer inspection, his eyes, though still a beautiful topaz, looked warn, almost haunted. When he left me in Jacksonville, it was with an air of smugness. He thought I'd come to my senses and come back to him. His eyes now told another story. They betrayed his lack of confidence and showed me that he was torn up inside. My heart broke for him. I loved him; that would never change. We had shared so many wonderful experiences. He was hurting now and I hated the fact that I was the cause of his pain. He was a wonderful person who deserved someone equally wonderful. I just wasn't that person anymore.

While I was lost in thought, Edward was eyeing me curiously. It felt strange to be so distant with him, but he needed to know that things had changed. I didn't want to lead him on. He stood up and walked towards me, wrapping me in his strong arms. He kissed the top of my head and whispered in his musical voice, "I missed you." My resolve melted and I hugged him back, sinking into his familiar, cold embrace. Though the embrace was familiar and comforting, his weren't the arms I wanted around me.

Suddenly, Edward stiffened. I pulled away and saw that his eyes were black with fury. He dropped his hands and in a flash moved across the room towards the open window.

"Edward, what is it?"

"You smell like…like…"

It was a rare occasion when I saw Edward Cullen at a loss for words. He was pacing back and forth while pinching the bridge of his nose. I realized at that moment that I wasn't in the mood for Edward's theatrics. I knew I smelled like werewolf. That should be obvious to him. After all, I'd spent the last two weeks with Jacob. I didn't want to deal with his anger right now. I was tired, hungry, and dirty. This conversation could wait.

"Look, Edward, I really don't want to have this conversation right now. I don't want to fight. Maybe we could meet up sometime tomorrow and have a long talk. In the meantime, I really need to get cleaned up and…"

"Yes, I suppose you would need to get cleaned up. I mean, what with the dog stench and you smelling like you just stepped out of a brothel." His words were like venom, sending poison straight to my heart. Oh my God! He could smell…he knew that we'd…had sex? I was horribly embarrassed and uncomfortable. I felt that my privacy was violated. Then I got pissed. I was furious and I cursed the angry tears that started to form in my eyes.

"How dare you? Edward, I want you to leave, now!"

"How could you let him defile you like that? Whatever happened to your virtue?"

"What I do, and who I do it with is none of your business Edward, not anymore. You can't just show up at my house, unannounced, uninvited, and insult me and expect me to welcome you with open arms. Leave, now!"

Edward's face crumpled in agony. "Bella, I didn't mean it. It's just a lot to take in. You were saving yourself and now…"

"Saving myself? Edward, that's what you were doing. Staying virgins until we got married was your idea, not mine. That's not what I wanted. I'm not saying that it was a bad idea; I just felt that it was an old-fashioned antiquated custom that interfered with the way I wanted to express my love. I wanted to be with you physically, but you kept throwing the marriage thing in my face to stall. We both know that you were too scared to actually let go and show me how you felt. As usual, you kept that part of you hidden from me, to as you would say, protect me. So, don't paint me as a whore because I shared that experience with someone else."

"So, what you're saying is that you couldn't have sex with me, so you went out and found someone else? Did it have to be Jacob, or would anyone do?"

Blood rushed to my head at the implication. We were both so angry and this conversation was going nowhere. I didn't want us to end like this, bitter and angry. I tried to change the subject. "Edward, this isn't about sex, which if I may reiterate, is none of your business. This is about being able to share myself with someone, _completely_. No rules, no inhibitions, no holding back. I used to want that with you, but you weren't ready for it. And in retrospect, I wasn't either. I moved on and found that person in Jacob."

Edward was seething in a mixture of anger and pain. He was about to say something when his body stiffened and he turned towards the window listening intently to something I couldn't hear. He let out a feral growl. I heard the front door open and realized that the unexpected guest must be what had Edward so upset. I heard Jake's booming voice.

"Bells, honey, I forgot to tell you something."

In a flash Edward was downstairs and I heard a loud bang coupled with growls and snarls. I stumbled down the stairs as fast as I could to diffuse the situation. When I got to the bottom of the stairs I saw that Edward had thrown Jacob against the front door.

"What the fuck _leech_? Back off!" Jake pushed Edward so hard that he flew across the room only to land agilely on his feet. He sank into a crouch and was ready to lunge then I ran and stood in front of Jacob protectively.

Edward's voice was filled with malice. "Bella, stay away from him. I told you that he was dangerous. This is between me and the mutt."

"Edward, you're delusional. What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm trying to defend your honor Bella. This horny teenager took advantage of you. I'm not going to stand by and…"

"Edward, Jacob did not take advantage of me. You're being ridiculous."

"I'm being ridiculous? Bella, you gave your virtue to a dog who doesn't even know how to treat a lady. He's dangerous. He's young and stupid with power he doesn't know how to control. Every moment you're with him you're putting yourself in danger. Just ask your friend Emily. You're a wonderful woman who needs to be treated with respect. He's sullied your reputation. We were going to get married. All of a sudden, he shows up in Jacksonville and everything's changed? He's trying to steal you away from me."

I was about to respond when Jake stepped in front of me glaring daggers at Edward. "You're unbelievable! I'm dangerous? I'm not Sam! I would _never_ hurt Bella. I've controlled the wolf side of me from the beginning whenever I was around Bella. You must really think I'm an idiot. Yeah, I don't have money, I don't have a thousand degrees in whatever bullshit you study, but I'm a hell of a lot smarter than you. _I_ would never _leave_ her. You're the asshole who allowed that James fucker into her life to beat her practically to death. You almost let her become a monster like you. You left her without any protection from Victoria, never appreciating the fact that if it wasn't for me and my brothers, Bella would have been dead a long time ago. Now, she has to deal with this Vulcan, Volcano, Volturi crap. How is she going to get out of that one? You've handed her a death sentence, but I'm the dangerous one? Oh and let's be clear, I didn't _steal_ Bella away from you, _leech_! You had your chance. You had her love. You're the jackass who fucked up. Don't come blaming me because you're a miserable person."

I couldn't hold back any longer. "Edward, welcome to the twenty-first century. "Sullied reputation," are you serious? Who are you to tell me how I should be treated, or how I should behave for that matter? I know who I am and what I want. Jacob treats me exactly the way I want him to, with kindness, love and respect. And since we're talking about treating me with respect, Jacob's not the one who basically compared me to a common whore!"

Jacob's nostrils flared and he growled menacingly towards Edward. "He said what?"

I hedged a bit. "Well, not in so many words, but it was implied."

"Bella, I do apologize for that. It was terrible of me to say that. I just think its best…"

Jacob cut him off exasperated, throwing his hands up in frustration. "That's just it douche-wad. You just don't get it. When are you going to realize that what _you_ think is best isn't necessarily what is best for Bella? You're constantly trying to either control her or her decisions because you think you know what's best. You never really touched her because that was best for her. Did you ever ask her how it felt to be constantly rejected? You and your family left her for half a year because you thought she'd be better off. You had your sister kidnap her so that she couldn't spend time with me because you thought I was too dangerous. And after all that shit you pull on her, after she forgives you and welcomes you back with open arms, you still think it's in her best interest to follow her to Jacksonville even though you promised her you wouldn't. I didn't do a damn thing Edward. Bella finally realized what she wanted, and it doesn't include you. You had your chance with her and you blew it. You lost her all on your own."

Edward stepped closer to Jacob, fury etched into the lines of his face. "You presume to tell me that I behaved poorly? You're just a horny, love-sick child. What could you possibly know about love?"

"I'm the child? You may have lived over a hundred years leech, but you haven't grown up at all. You're controlling. You don't trust Bella to think for herself and you've proven that you can't be trusted. I know Bella more intimately than you ever will. I know that you can't have love without trust, and you never had trust."

Edward snarled and I could see that the situation was getting dire. "Alright, that's enough, both of you. Edward, we both made mistakes. I'm not blameless here. I let you get away with being so controlling, because I knew you only did it out of love. That was wrong of me, because, regardless of your intentions, I should have demanded that you respect my choices. It breaks my heart to say this, but, I think it was a mistake to take you back after Italy. When you left, you wanted me to move on, and a part of me did. I was in denial about my feelings for Jacob. I should have taken time, been more insightful. But, I was just so happy to have you in my life again that I repressed my desires for someone else. My actions only made everything worse. I pitted you two against each other. I made you doubt my love for you. I was horribly selfish. And, even worse, I was completely oblivious to that fact. Unlike you who only broke my heart, I broke three with my selfishness."

His mouth opened in surprise at my declaration. I saw panic in his eyes. He was grasping for straws. "Bella, the only mistake you made was choosing him. You've wasted your precious gift on a liar. He's using you. Listen, I didn't want to tell you this, but you won't see reason. Love, he imprinted. He wanted to steal you away from me to hurt me. He's just going to leave as soon as he gets a chance."

Jacob mumbled, "Don't hold your breath _leech_."

I sighed in frustration. "Edward, Jacob told me that he imprinted. He imprinted on _me_. But, that's not the reason I'm with him and not you. I'm in love with him and my future lies with him."

He was about to argue when I interrupted. "Edward, leave now or so help me I'll call Alice and have her bring the whole family to drag you out!" As soon as the words were out of my mouth the front door opened and in came Charlie. He saw me and a huge smile spread across his face. I couldn't help but smile back even amidst the surrounding chaos.

"Bells, you're home!" His eyes seemed to take in the very tense scene being played out in front of him. He eyed Edward warily and asked in his policeman's voice, "What's going on here?"

Edward, always the gentleman walked towards the front door and replied, "Nothing, sir. I was just leaving. But, before I do, you may want to talk with Jacob here about his intentions towards your daughter. Something tells me that they're not altogether pure. Goodnight." He looked at me with a silent apology burning in his eyes before he turned and walked out the door. Jacob and I stared at each other in shock while Charlie looked at the two of us in confusion.

"Dad, I…"

"Bells, I don't want to hear it. Really, if I never hear anything about it I'll be a happy man. Just promise me that you'll be…safe." He stammered and refused to meet my gaze. I was blushing crimson and I was mortified. I couldn't believe Edward would say that. Jacob seemed to recover rather quickly once Edward left. He was wearing a conspiratorial smirk on his face.

"Jake, son, shouldn't you be heading home? I think you should be spending some time with Billy, right?"

"Sure, sure. I was just leaving."

Charlie still called him son. I guess that meant he wouldn't be reaching for the shotgun anytime soon. Something told me that this was just the calm before the storm and that I would have to face an embarrassing conversation once Jacob left. A long day was turning into a long night. Charlie walked into the kitchen. I could already see the wheels turning in his mind. He was going to have to work hard to repress Edward's insinuation. A lot had happened since I came home and I was having a hard time digesting it all. Jake risked a quick peck on my lips and turned to leave.

I grabbed his arm, turning him back towards me. "Wait, Jake, why did you come back? When you walked in you said you forgot to tell me something. What did you forget?"

He thought for a moment and then smiled my favorite smile. "Oh…well…I forgot to tell you that I love you."

He caressed my face in his hands and kissed me tenderly before turning and walking out the door.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do NOT.**

**A/N: I am soooooo sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. I experienced a bit of writer's block and this chapter really only came together over the weekend. A special thanks to my Beta Christine who helped me bounce off ideas with her. I hope this chapter will be worth the wait. Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. Your reviews were awesome and so thoughtful. Thank you so much!**

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

Jacob came back just to tell me that he loved me? I never knew My Jacob could be so romantic. I didn't think I'd ever get used to how wonderfully sweet he could be. But, as soon as Jacob walked out the door the warm feelings disappeared and were replaced with anxiety. Clearly I had underestimated Edward's reaction to our break-up. I knew he was hurting, but I didn't think he would throw me under the bus with Charlie. I didn't think my sex-life was his business or Charlie's for that matter. I was eighteen, soon to be nineteen. I decided that it didn't matter what either of them thought. They could either accept it or…well, they'd just have to accept it.

I walked into the kitchen where Charlie was occupying himself with the morning's paper. He set the paper on the table and eyed me tentatively.

"Bells, what was all that about? Were Jake and Edward fighting?"

I knew I had to face the music eventually, but now was not the time. I didn't want to deal with this at the moment. It had been a long day. I was tired, sore, and I felt dirty. "Dad, it's been a long day. I'm just going to go upstairs and get cleaned up. I'll make us some dinner and then we can talk, okay?"

"Sure Bells. Go ahead." He went right back to his paper.

I headed upstairs to my room. I was so distracted by Edward when I first came in that I failed to notice the huge boxes of my belongings Renee had sent home ahead of me. They were grouped together in front of my closet. I thought about all the clothes Renee had stuffed into them and decided that that was a project that could wait until tomorrow.

I grabbed my toiletries and stepped into the bathroom. My reflection showed a haggard appearance. I was hardly the model of perfection Edward held me to be and I was beginning to doubt how Jacob could find me sexy. However, I knew that a relaxing shower in steaming hot water would help wash away my insecurities.

Thirty minutes later I emerged from the bathroom clean and refreshed. I put on my usual nighttime attire of holey sweats and an old t-shirt. I was starving so I headed downstairs to get dinner started.

Charlie hadn't moved from his position at the table. I knew I was only delaying the inevitable, but I refused to make eye contact with him and instead set the pots and pans I needed on the stove. I had the water boiling and the pasta sauce simmering when Charlie broke the silence.

"So, are you going to tell me what went on earlier?" He paused sensing my hesitation. "I'm not asking for a play-by-play Bella. Just give me the highlights."

I took a calming breath before I answered. "Edward surprised me by showing up when I got home. I wasn't expecting him and we got into a fight. Jacob showed up and Edward kind of lost it. He's just really having a hard time with the break-up. I'll talk to him. Everything will be fine."

Charlie didn't look convinced, but he nodded his acceptance of my explanation anyway. "If you say so Bells. I'm just glad to have you home."

Well, that was rather painless. I guess Charlie really didn't want to know any details. He seemed to like repressing information and living in denial. Well, if he was fine with that, I would be too. Since I wasn't worried about having another embarrassing sex-talk with Charlie, I found myself humming as I moved around the kitchen preparing our dinner. Charlie sensed my good mood and struck up a conversation about my road trip home. He asked about the things we did and the places we saw. He was interested to hear that I survived a night camping in the middle of nowhere. When I described the beautiful setting of the clearing a blush spread across my cheeks and Charlie simply cleared his throat and changed the subject. Maybe he wasn't repressing after all.

We finished our dinner in relative silence. I wasn't sure if I was trying to convince Charlie or myself that everything would be fine. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that Edward frightened me tonight. I wasn't afraid for myself. I knew Edward would never physically harm me. I was afraid of what he could do to Jacob. After everything Jacob and I had been through to be together, I couldn't bear anything happening to him. I knew Jacob could take care of himself, but it didn't stop me from worrying about him. I was tired of Jacob and Edward feeling the need to come to blows whenever they were both in my presence. And I hated that it was my fault. I needed to fix this.

Charlie helped me clean up and put the dishes away. I didn't realize how tired I was until I started nodding off while standing over the sink. It was late so I told Charlie goodnight and brought my laundry upstairs. I put my clothes away quickly and got ready for bed. My cell phone rang and I grabbed it from the nightstand. I answered out of breath.

"Hello?"

_Hey honey, I've missed you._

Jacob. A huge smile spread across my face. Just hearing his voice had a soothing effect on me. It was almost as if he had Jasper's ability to calm me when I was distressed. "I've missed you too. How's Billy?"

_He's fine. He's great actually now that he's had a chance to chew me out in person. Apparently, ever since he knew I was alive and well, he's wanted to kill me._

I chuckled at the thought. "I hope it wasn't too bad."

_No, his bark is worse than his bite!_

"Did you see Sam? What about the rest of the pack, Quil or Embry?"

_Yeah, I stopped by Sam's place. He wanted to take a special opportunity to rip me a new one for taking off the way I did. I deserved it, so there was really nothing I could say. I just had to take it. He had a lot of pent up anger that he needed to let out. If anything, I think I was doing him a favor by being his personal punching bag. I called Quil when I got home. He said he and Embry may stop by later._

"So, no one has any hard feelings?"

_Well, I wouldn't say that. We can't forget our resident bitch, Leah. I'm sure she'll have a few choice words for me tomorrow. The pack in general was pretty pissed, but we're family. They'll get over it, eventually. If anything, they're not even pissed that I ran away so much as at the fact that I kept my imprinting on you a secret for so long. They understand though. They really want to see you._

"They do?"

_Bells don't be ridiculous. Of course they do. They love you._

"_Loved_ me is probably more accurate. I don't know how I'm supposed to face them after everything I've put you through."

_Honey, they love you. I put myself through more crap than you ever could. They know we're together now and they want to share in that. In fact, they're having a big bonfire here tomorrow night in our honor. Please come._

"Jake, you know I will. I can't resist you, especially when you beg like that!"

_Okay, it's settled. How about I pick you up at six and we can head over there together?_

"That sounds great…oh wait. Jake, I think I'll just meet you there." He paused for a moment. When he replied, his voice was filled with sadness and tinged with acceptance.

_You're going to see __**him**__ aren't you?_

"I'm going to see _them_ Jake. I really want to visit with the whole family. I still need to talk with Alice, and I need to resolve things with Edward. Every time I try to talk about us, things get out of control and things are left unsaid."

He sighed heavily into the phone.

_Bells, do what you gotta do. Just call me if you need me, promise?_

"I promise. Jake, how am I going to sleep without you tonight?"

_I don't know honey. I was just thinking the same thing. You know, I could always just sneak…_

"Jacob Black, don't even bother finishing that sentence! You just stay right where you are mister. If I can't spend one night away from you, then I'm in worse shape than I thought!"

_Okay, okay. It was just a suggestion._

"Mmm-hmm."

_I love you._

"I love you Jacob. Goodnight."

_Night._

I smiled and put the phone down. I didn't bother with calling Alice. I knew that the moment I decided to visit she would know. I finished getting ready for bed. I tucked myself in expecting to have a long, sleepless night. But, the moment my head hit the pillow, I was out. It was good to be home.

I woke up around ten the next morning. I was shocked that I had slept in as late as I did until I remembered the activities that had been keeping me up the past few nights. A few extra hours of sleep were just what the doctor ordered. I stretched and got out of bed. It was a rare sunny morning in Forks. The sunlight glinted off of a shiny object resting on my nightstand. On closer inspection, I saw that it was the charm bracelet Jacob had given me for graduation which Edward had quickly adorned with his own token of affection. The wolf and the diamond heart were displayed in equal prominence. It was a reminder of how much things had changed since the last day I had worn it.

I had taken the bracelet off when I left for Florida. It was sort of a symbolic gesture. Getting away wasn't about Edward or Jacob, not really. It was about me. I didn't need to wear a constant reminder of how my heart was torn in two. I already knew that, so I left it home. Now seemed as good a time as any to wear it again.

Although I had showered last night, I decided I could use another one to clam my nerves. It also gave me the opportunity to shave my legs and manage my thick mane of hair. Subconsciously, I think I wanted to rid my body of Jacob's scent since I was going to visit Edward. I didn't want to rub my happiness in his face and the thought of him smelling me…well, that was just gross. I took care of my morning routine and stood in front of my closet, soaking wet, wrapped only in my towel. I had never been one for caring much about my appearance. However, since I had spent the last two weeks looking like a slob, I figured a change was due. I decided to make the effort and attempt to look nice for Jacob tonight. So, I browsed through the boxes of new clothes and found just what I was looking for.

Without my knowing it, Renee had included a small box filled with a Victoria's Secret bag. I was so excited, I was almost giddy. Holy Crow! I was getting excited about clothes. Alice could never find out! I found a matching black lace bra and panty set with red trim. I put in on thinking how Jacob would look when he saw it on me. Now, I just had to figure out how to get out of my clothes seeing as how we'd be around friends and family all night long.

I threw on a dark pair of jeans that were form-fitting, but comfortable. They were definitely much tighter than anything I normally would wear, but I liked the way they complimented my figure. I found a low v-necked maroon t-shirt to top it off and threw on my black shoes. I grabbed a sweater because I knew it would be cold tonight. I dried my hair and left it down so that it curled slightly at the ends. Looking at my reflection, it was almost like I was looking at someone else. I certainly was much improved from the girl I looked like last night. Although the clothes were tighter than usual, they still screamed "me." My face was practically glowing and I realized that that had everything to do with Jacob.

When I got downstairs I noticed that Charlie had already left for the day. Due to the uncharacteristically good weather, he headed out early for fishing. He left a note saying that he would see me later tonight at the bonfire. I guess he had already talked to Billy. I sat down to eat my breakfast. I didn't eat much because I was getting nervous about seeing the Cullens, my would-be family. I wasn't sure if they would be angry or not. I had just broken Edward's heart and left him for my best friend. I was sure that they saw that as a betrayal of their trust.

With my sweater and purse in hand, I headed out the door to my truck. I let my mind wander as I drove the familiar route to Edward's house. Before I knew it I was pulling up the driveway to the front door. I took a deep breath and got out. The front door burst open and out flew a black-haired pixie, sparkling in the sunlight. Alice gently but firmly pulled me out of my truck and wrapped me in her arms hugging me tightly.

"Oh Bella, I've missed you so much. Please forgive me! I didn't want to lie to you. I shouldn't have ever listened to Edward. I told him it would end badly, but he refused to listen. Please, please, don't be angry."

She was hugging me so tightly and speaking so quickly, that my head was spinning. Any residual anger I felt towards her quickly dissipated. Alice loved me, but she also loved her brother. Her love was fierce and loyal. She would do anything for him, even if it was the wrong thing to do. I found myself hugging her back, tears spilling freely from my eyes. She still loved me, even after I broke Edward's heart. She still wanted to be in my life. There was still hope.

"Alice, I've missed you too."

A deep southern voice boomed behind us, "Alice, I think you need to loosen your grip on Bella. She's about to turn blue."

"Oh, sorry Bella, I'm just so happy you decided to come."

I turned to meet Jasper's eyes. They were kind and filled with understanding. I felt his calming power wash over me. I smiled in appreciation as my nerves were slowly placed under control. Jasper was the litmus test for the rest of the family. If he was feeling calm and serene, then it was probably safe to guess that the rest of the family was probably more accepting of my decision that I had anticipated. "Hi Jasper."

"Hello Bella. It's so nice to see you. We've all missed you so much."

I looked down at the ground in shame. Here they were being so understanding of me and I realized that I hadn't even accepted Alice's apology. She needed to know that I still loved her like a sister. That would never change. I looked into Alice's golden eyes. "Alice, all is forgiven. I want to start with a clean slate. What's past is past."

Alice beamed at me. If she could cry I knew tears would have fallen down her beautiful face. Jasper threw an arm over her and pulled her close. "Well, Alice, that sounds like a plan. Ladies, shall we go inside? Bella, everyone's really anxious to see you."

"Thank you Jasper."

Alice took my hand and led me inside the house, Jasper following close behind. We walked into the brightly lit living room to find Rosalie and Emmett lounging on the couch together. Esme and Carlisle came down the stairs, hand-in-hand, smiling warmly at me. I noticed immediately that Edward was nowhere to be seen.

Jasper noticed my growing disappointment and quickly reassured me. "He's just upstairs brooding Bella. He'll talk to you when we all leave, don't worry. He just wants some privacy."

"Oh." I nodded in acknowledgement and smiled as the rest of the Cullens approached me, embracing me and welcoming me back.

Rosalie surprised me by pulling me into an awkward hug and smiling warmly at me. "Bella, don't look so worried. I'm sorry that Edward is so unhappy. But, I'm so happy that you realized how important your human life is. Granted, I wish you hadn't chosen a dog for a mate…"

I flinched and Emmett tapped her firmly on the shoulder. She eyed him questioningly as if she couldn't believe anyone would take offense to what she had said. After all, in her mind, it was the truth. Emmett merely looked towards me and the pain on my face that was evident for the world to see. Rosalie seemed to take the hint. "Oh…Bella, I didn't mean anything by it. I'm sure he's great if you can get past the smell…"

Emmett immediately cut her off. "Wow, Rose, you really know all the right things to say, don't you? Now, Bella, where were we? Right, you were about to describe in detail all the hot, nasty sex you've been having with that werewolf of yours. So, is it true, does he prefer doggy-style?"

I heard a collective cry of "EMMETT!" My face turned beet red. I was so embarrassed. Was my sex life the main topic of conversation for everyone? Was there an announcement about it on Myspace? _Bella Swan loses her virginity to Jacob Black, news at eleven. _Did I have any privacy? What worried me even more was the fact that I knew Edward could hear everything that was said with his damn vampire hearing. Emmett was not making things easy for me.

Carlisle addressed Emmett and Rosalie sternly. "If you two can't behave yourselves, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. Bella is going through a lot right now. She doesn't need you two exacerbating things."

Emmett looked at me while addressing Carlisle. "I'm sorry Carlisle. I just wanted to make Bella feel like part of the family. That's what we do to our brothers and sisters around here. I missed your blush, Bella, that's all. We still think of you as our sister. Never forget that."

I was still red in the face, but Emmett's words did warm my heard, albeit in a round about sort of way. "It's okay Carlisle. Emmett's just being…Emmett."

We all sat in the living room together catching up. They were excited to hear about my plans for the future. They commented several times about how happy and beautiful I looked. I blushed constantly.

We had spent hours talking and I couldn't believe that Edward had yet to make an appearance. My gaze kept straying up towards the stairs. I needed to speak with Edward. The anxiety returned and crashed down on my like a boulder. Alice squeezed my hand and whispered, "Go ahead Bella. It's okay."

With encouraging glances from Alice, Jasper, and Emmett, I headed up the two flights of stairs to Edward's room. I knocked lightly on the door and heard his velvety smooth voice reply, "Come in Bella."

He was lying across his black leather sofa, listening to music. His appearance was downright unkempt. He looked as though he hadn't showered today and his clothing was uncharacteristically disheveled. His button-down shirt was opened past his chest and his sleeves were rolled up haphazardly. His hair was a bird's nest on top of his head, proof that his hands had worried it endlessly. This was not the neat, perfectly quaffed Edward that I knew.

He stood up, nodding politely in my direction. "Bella." His tone was curt and his pain was evident in his voice.

"Edward, we need to talk."

"Of course, please have a seat."

I looked around at the possible seating options and was immediately distressed. To my left was the king-sized bed Edward had purchased for us only a few months ago. We had shared some special moments on that bed. He proposed to me in this room. It was all too much.

"Uh, Edward, could we maybe go for a walk?"

He was puzzled by my request but nodded in agreement following me down the stairs and out of the house. The house had emptied of all other occupants since I had gone upstairs. Apparently the family decided that Edward and I could use some privacy. I was halfway down the porch steps when I lost my footing and fell. Before I could hit the ground, I felt strong arms wrap around my waist, holding me up. I realized at that moment that that was the clumsiest I had been in weeks. I instantly thought that maybe it was Edward who brought out my clumsiness. I had never felt good enough for him. Maybe my clumsiness was an unconscious attempt to give him a reason to be with me; to be my knight in shining armor. Maybe it was my insecurity that caused me to be less focused on where I was going leaving me prone to falls. I quickly put those thoughts aside as I realized Edward's cold hands were resting firmly on the exposed flesh between my jeans and my shirt. I felt a chill run through my body.

My cheeks were crimson. I was embarrassed to find myself in this familiar position. I whispered, "Thank you."

He abruptly dropped his hands to his sides and mumbled a barely coherent, "Of course, Bella. You're welcome."

We walked towards the back of the property along the river. The sunlight danced on Edward's face, highlighting his perfect features with sparkling light. His beauty was astounding and I was in awe. We were silent for several minutes, neither one of us knowing exactly where to begin. He seemed to be waiting for me to speak, so I dove right in.

"Edward, I don't want to fight with you. You mean too much to me to have all this anger and animosity between us."

"I'm not angry with you, Bella. I'm angry at that _mutt_ who stole you away from me. I could never be angry with you. I love you."

"Edward, Jacob didn't steal me away. You always told me that I didn't see myself clearly. Well, that's not true anymore. I have 20/20 vision when it comes to me. I finally see me for who I am; flaws and all. Edward, you're the one who doesn't see me clearly. You put me on this pedestal, idealizing me as perfection. I could never live up to your expectations, even if I tried. It's lonely on that pedestal Edward. I'm not perfect. I've made mistakes. I've been selfish, rash, stubborn, and I've hurt the people I love."

"Bella, don't say that please…"

"Edward, you're doing it again. You have to see me for who I am; the good and the bad. You can't blame someone else for my behavior because you think I'm too much of a lady to act a certain way. I can be reckless and selfish, and…I can be with someone physically without being a whore."

His gaze dropped to the ground. I didn't want to bring up my physical relationship with Jacob and throw it in Edward's face. But, he really hurt my feelings the night before when he put a disdainful spin on what Jacob and I had shared. He needed to know that I could have sexual desires and still be a lady. It didn't have to be one or the other. The two things were not mutually exclusive.

"Bella, I'm so sorry for saying those things to you. I didn't mean it. I should never have followed you to Jacksonville."

"No, Edward, you shouldn't have. You promised me that you would give me space to figure things out, and you didn't. You lied to me, _again_. But, that's not why I broke up with you. I don't want you to dwell on that one mistake you made and think that if you could have changed it that things would be different now. That's not the case. I had already made my decision before I knew you were there. Your arrival just confirmed that I made the right decision."

My words came out harsher than I had intended. I knew it hurt him. With every word I said it was like I was driving a knife deeper and deeper into his heart. Seeing him in pain was unbearable. I felt tears forming in my eyes and I was angry that I was being so weak when I needed to be strong. I didn't want to be the weak Bella I always seemed to be around him. I _was_ strong. I needed to start acting like it.

"Love, please don't cry."

He wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on my head. I cried endless tears into his shirt. I cried for what could have been. I cried for all the misunderstandings and miscommunications that plagued our relationship. But mainly, I cried out of guilt for putting him through so much pain when I had Jacob to comfort me.

Between my sobs, I was able to plead with him. "Edward, we really weren't meant to be. We both fell in love with an idealized version of each other. I thought you were perfection, could do no wrong, and that I was lucky to even share the same air as you. I never acknowledged your flaws. I let you control me, I let you leave me because I never felt worthy of you anyway. Edward, don't you see? If we truly understood each other we never would have been apart. You would have known that I loved you more than anything and that you leaving for my own good would only break my heart. And I would have fought for you to stay with me because I would have believed that you did love me, even when you were telling me you didn't. You kept so much hidden from me. How could we ever have a mutually respectful relationship with so many secrets and so much doubt? What we had was beautiful. But, it was temporary. It didn't have a strong enough foundation to build on, let alone to last an eternity. You must see that."

"Oh Bella, I think you're wrong about that. My love for you is real."

"I know Edward. Mine was too. Our love was as real as it could have been, but it wasn't meant to last. We were never equals. Edward, my only aspiration or dream since I met you was just to be with you forever. That's not healthy for someone my age. I refused to look at my life as a journey filled with learning about new things, experiencing life's pleasures and pain. Instead, I saw my life, my humanity as a roadblock to the one thing I wanted more than anything; you. I didn't want college. I didn't want to have friends. You became my sole reason for being and that's scary. I'm not the one, Edward."

"Bella, how could you say that? Your blood sings to me. Of course you're the one."

"It doesn't always work out that way, though, does it?"

I broke our embrace and sat down on the riverbank patting the space next to me. He sat down staring at the rippling water.

"Edward, I'm your singer and I'm Jacob's imprint. I can't belong to both of you. Just because I mean something to both of you doesn't mean that I have to feel the same way. I chose who I wanted to be with and it had nothing to do with any mystical pull. My heart chose. Besides, Emmett met his singer too. That didn't end well, did it? My blood is what drew you to me. Our love grew from that. But, that doesn't mean that I'm the only one for you. You'll find her Edward. I know in my heart that you will. You need someone who can be your equal. You need a woman who's much stronger than I, someone who will whip you into shape."

We both chuckled at that. The thought of anyone other than Alice getting the best of Edward Cullen was laughable. In my heart of hearts, I knew that she was out there.

"Edward, I still want you in my life, if that's what you want. I'm going to be going to school in the spring. I know your family is probably off to Dartmouth in the fall, but I'd still like to be able to talk to you, to see you."

"Bella, I've been an idiot. You deserve so much more. I'll keep my promise to you. I'll be happy for you and I'll be in your life in whatever way you need me. If we're only to be friends, then that will be enough for me. But, if that…if Jacob steps out of line, I'll be there."

We sat in silence again, staring at the water. I was happy to hear him promise that, but saddened at how hard I knew it would be for him to keep. It was hard to see Edward so broken.

Edward abruptly got to his feet holding his hand out to me. When I stared at his out-stretched hand questioningly he stated, "They'll be home soon Bella. I figured you might want to come back inside to wait for them."

"Oh, sure."

I took his offered hand and followed him into the house. He seemed to sense that I didn't want to go back up to his room so he motioned to the couch. Edward sat down and eyed me warily as I remained standing, frozen in my tracks.

"Bella, what is it? Are you alright? Can I get you something?"

He was about to get up, mostly likely to get me some water. I motioned for him to stay still. I knew what I was about to do would shatter the remaining pieces of his heart and if I let him leave the room, I knew I would lose my nerve.

My mind wandered back to this morning when I put on my bracelet. It didn't feel right carrying Edward's heart-shaped diamond charm. Aside from the fact that the diamond probably cost more than my house, it no longer belonged to me. I took the diamond off and slipped it into my pocket. It was purely a symbolic gesture, seeing as how I had already given my whole heart to Jacob. And now here I was, standing in front of the man who gave it to me. It was now or never, and never wasn't an option I could live with.

"Edward, I…" I was at a loss for words. I removed the diamond from my pocket and held it out to him. His eyes widened in confusion, then understanding, and finally pain. He jumped up from the couch and backed away from me shoving his hands in his pockets. As if to say if I couldn't see his hands, then I couldn't relinquish the diamond. He shook his head back and forth.

"No, Bella. That was a gift. That's yours. I don't want it back."

"Edward, I can't possibly keep it. This is a family heirloom. I know it has to be more valuable than you ever let on. I'm sure it's priceless. It belongs to someone who's supposed to be in your family. It belongs to your wife. I can't keep it. It isn't right."

"Bella, you heard what everyone said earlier. You are part of this family, whether you're with me or not. That's the only thing you let me give you, and now you want to give it back? I thought you said you wanted me in your life. It's like you're trying to erase me, as if I never existed…"

His voice trailed off as the irony of his words hit home. He sat back down on the couch with his head in his hands. I sat next to him throwing my arm over his shoulders doing my best to comfort him.

"Edward, it's not like that. I would never want to erase you from my life, from my memories. You're too important to me for that. Don't you understand? You were my first love. _No one_ else can take that place in my heart. You made me my lullaby. That came from your heart and soul. Those are the things I will take with me. Those are the things that have forever touched and changed my life. But this, this doesn't belong to me, not anymore. I'm giving you your heart back Edward. You're free to give it to someone who you can love as an equal."

I held the diamond in front of him urging him to take it. As he took it from my hand his cold skin sent familiar sparks through my body. Our eyes locked and I knew he felt it too. He grabbed my arms pulling me closer to him. "Bella, you can't tell me you didn't feel that. That electricity between us just now…I know you felt it."

"Yes, I did. There will always be that connection between us. You will always be the life-path I could have chosen. If things would have been different between us, I would have. But, Edward, that's what I've been trying to tell you. That's just not enough for me anymore."

Traitorous tears formed in my eyes. Before I knew it, Edward's hands caressed my face and his lips crashed onto mine. My eyes opened wide in shock. I tried to pull away but his grip was too strong. He kissed me with more passion than he ever had when we were together. It was as if he was filling the kiss with all the possibilities our future together could possess. In a moment of weakness, I found myself kissing him back, which only drove him on. I felt his tongue graze my lower lip and knew I had to put an end to this now. This wasn't what I wanted anymore. He wasn't what I wanted anymore. I stopped fighting him and let him kiss me as my lips became immovable. I knew he would get the hint eventually and stop. As quickly as it began, it ended. Edward pulled back and his eyes were filled with shame.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I don't know what got into me. I just…"

"No, Edward, it's…it's okay." I stumbled as I stood up and headed towards the front door. "I just need to leave. I think…I mean we need some space, some time apart before we can be friends. I just need to…"

"Bella, wait, please…I…"

He stopped mid-sentence, his gaze shot ahead of me to the door. His eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched. The front door flew open and Alice stormed in glaring daggers at Edward. Clearly, she had seen what just went on in here. Looking back and forth between them I knew they were having a silent conversation, one which Edward wasn't too happy about. Alice threw her arms around me and asked, "Bella, are you okay?"

"Alice, I'm fine, really. I just need to get out of here. I'm supposed to meet Jacob soon."

I heard footsteps on the porch and in walked the rest of the Cullens, with Jasper leading the way. Alice must have run ahead when she had her vision of me and Edward. Jasper immediately stood by Alice sensing the tension in the air. Emmett barreled through the door next.

"Bella, you're still here! Great, I was thinking maybe we all could…" He paused taking in the situation. "Or, maybe we can spend the day figuring out why Edward's such a jackass! What did he do now little sister?"

Edward growled as Carlisle rushed in putting a strong hand on his shoulder. The situation was getting out of hand. I knew how hard this was for Edward, and he didn't need his family making it worse for him.

"Look, everything's fine guys. Edward and I talked. I was just leaving. I'll see you all later, okay?"

As I walked out the door I looked back at Edward's face. He looked more dejected than he had when I got here. His family surrounded him in an attempt to comfort him. I realized at that moment that I could no longer offer that to him. He was in good hands. I had to look to myself. I ran to my truck, started the engine, and peeled out as fast as my old truck could. When I got to the main road I pulled over, tears clouding my vision. I just sat there waiting for it to pass. I was startled when my cell phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and it was like the sunshine parted the clouds. It was My Jacob. I was going to be okay.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do NOT.**

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN **

I tried to wipe the tears from my eyes and control my voice before I spoke to Jacob. I took a calming breath and then answered the phone.

"Hello?"

_Bells, honey are you okay? You sound upset._

"Yes, Jake I'm fine. Um, I'm actually on my way there now."

_Honey, you sound like you've been crying._

I laughed out loud. Jacob was so damn observant. I wanted to tell him about what just happened. I just didn't want to do it over the phone. "Jake, I'm okay, really. I'll talk to you about it later. I'll see you soon."

_Alright Bella, we're already at the beach, so just park by my house and walk on down. I'll see you when you get here. I love you._

"I love you too Jake."

I ended the call and pulled my truck back onto the road heading towards La Push. I was physically and emotionally drained. My heart had moved on but it had still proved difficult to say that final good-bye to Edward. That kiss complicated things. There was still a connection between Edward and me. I would be naïve to deny it. But, what Edward didn't understand was that the connection we shared wasn't strong enough to build on. That's why we fell apart in the first place. It was nothing compared to the relationship I had with Jacob, my best friend, confidant, and lover all rolled into one. I hoped that Edward would move past this, but I knew that he would need time. Luckily he had plenty of time.

I checked my reflection in the rear-view mirror. My eyes were slightly red and puffy from crying, but I still thought I looked presentable. I wouldn't let my encounter with Edward put a damper on my mood. I was anxious to find myself back in Jacob's arms. I didn't want a few tears to ruin our evening together.

I drove as fast as I could, eager to get to the bonfire. I pulled onto the familiar gravel driveway in front of Jacob's house. I got out of the car and immediately heard music and laughter coming from the beach. I kicked off my shoes and walked down the path to the sand.

When I got to the beach, I slowly took in my surroundings. There were blankets and camping chairs set up all around the large fire. There were large logs surrounding the fire providing additional seating. The entire pack was there including their significant others. The beach was bustling with activity. Sam and Emily were manning the large barbeque pit while Leah, Quil, and Embry were setting up the table filled with drinks, chips, salad, and dessert. I saw Charlie and Billy sitting next to each other, no doubt gossiping like old ladies.

When I approached the bonfire, all activity stopped and all eyes were focused on me. If I didn't know better, I'd say that the music was put on mute and all you could hear were crickets chirping. It was rather uncomfortable. I was extremely self-conscious with all the unsolicited attention. My eyes scanned the crowd for the one and only person I wanted to see; My Jacob.

I finally found him standing amidst some friends next to the fire. He looked up and locked eyes with me as a huge smile spread across his face. He looked so handsome and debonair. I couldn't put my finger on why he looked so special tonight until I took in his appearance from head to toe. He was wearing a tight fitting black button-down shirt, the sleeves rolled up his arms, with dark jeans that clung to his bulging thigh muscles. His feet were bear, so at least that was normal. His hair was shiny and blowing in the ocean breeze. No one else existed in that moment other than Jacob.

Forgetting all my shyness, I ran directly towards Jacob, like an arrow to a bull's-eye and threw myself into his arms. He grunted at the impact and chuckled at my eagerness. His hands rested on the back of my thighs holding me tightly against him. His smile disappeared when he saw the look of desire in my eyes and was replaced with his own look of lust. I cradled his face in my hands and kissed him passionately, moaning into his mouth. He kissed me back just as vigorously and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I broke the kiss and whispered, "I missed you."

He was about to reply when we were interrupted by a chorus of deafening laughter and cheers. Blood rushed to my cheeks as I turned my head and saw that practically all of La Push, including my father, had just witnessed our intimate moment. I scanned the crowd and my eyes met Charlie's. He was staring at us with a look of shock on his face. Billy was sitting next to him laughing hysterically, playfully punching Charlie in the arm. Charlie muttered something under his breath and returned to his previous conversation, shaking his head in confusion.

I heard cat-calls and whistles from every direction and I realized that I was still wrapped around my boyfriend in front of the whole reservation. I slid down his body as daintily and lady-like as possible and looked back up to see Jacob smiling the most brilliant smile I had ever seen. He managed an adorable "wow" and then held me tightly to his chest.

I was in awe of the beautiful creature in my arms and at the reactions he elicited from me. I had never felt so in love or uninhibited as to want to display it so publicly like that before. It wasn't that I was now an exhibitionist, far from it. It was just that I was so in love with Jacob that I wanted to share it with everyone. I wrapped my arms around Jacob's neck and pulled him down to me so that I could kiss him again when I heard two familiar voices from behind me.

"Well, well, Bella Swan! Who knew you had it in you?"

"Yeah Bella, what happened to the shy girl we once knew?"

I turned around and found Quil and Embry standing side by side, towering over me. They had matching grins and their laughter was contagious. I couldn't help but smile back. Quil bent down and scooped me into his arms, hugging me tightly.

"Ugh, too tight Quil! Too tight!"

"Dude, ease up on my girl will ya?"

"Oh, sorry Bella. I forgot how small you are. I'm just excited that you finally came to your senses. I mean, Jesus, it's about time, right?"

Jacob glared at Quil. I patted Jacob's arm and smiled at him, indicating that all was well.

"It's okay Jake. It's not like it's the first time I've heard that."

We spent the next hour mingling with the pack. All the anxiety I felt about seeing them again was unfounded, as they immediately put me at ease. I was welcomed home with open arms; everyone except Leah that is. She was pretty stand-offish towards Jacob as well, so I figured it wasn't just me. I assumed now was not the time to address the matter. Knowing Leah, she'd let me know what she thought eventually. Emily pulled me aside, hugging me close, and gushed about how happy she was that I had come back to Jacob. With tears in her eyes she told me that she had never seen Jacob happier. I was exhilarated knowing that I was the reason for his happiness.

Emily and I spent a long time together just catching up. In all honesty though, I couldn't seem to pay much attention to what she said. She was telling me her plans for her wedding when I unconsciously tuned her out. Her voice was relegated to background noise as my eyes focused on Jacob. He was standing amidst his pack brothers, laughing and joking around. He looked so beautiful, so wonderfully happy that it was hard to avert my eyes. I didn't want to. Every few minutes or so his gaze would land on me and we would both smile like the goofs we were.

"Earth to Bella?" Emily waved her hand in front of my eyes trying to get my attention. She looked from me to Jacob and back again. She smiled knowingly.

"Oh, Emily, I'm so sorry. I'm being a horrible listener right now. I really am so happy for you and Sam. The wedding's going to be beautiful."

"Well, it certainly will be now that you and Jake are home. We were so worried when he took off the way he did. For a moment there, we thought we might never see him again. But, now he's home, where he belongs. And you belong with him. It just wouldn't be the same without you."

After getting reacquainted with everyone it was finally time to eat. Emily had provided enough burgers and hot dogs to feed an army, and not a small one either. Once Jacob and I had eaten our fill he grabbed my hand and led me to a secluded area of the beach where we could be alone.

Jacob sat down and patted the sand between his legs, indicating that that was where he wanted me. I was happy to oblige and I sat between his legs as his arms surrounded me in a blanket of warmth. He nuzzled my neck and I leaned back resting my head on his shoulder.

We sat there in silence for several minutes just watching the waves crash on the beach and enjoying each other's company. Jacob's hands lightly stroked my arms sending chills down my spine despite the warmth.

"Bells, did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight? I mean, I've never seen you wear anything so…tight. Don't get me wrong, I think you look sexy as hell in your old sweats and baggy t-shirts, but there's something about he way your clothes are hugging your curves that…well, like I said, you look extra beautiful tonight. What's the occasion?"

"I could ask you the same thing Jake. Look at you. You're wearing a button-down shirt and jeans with no holes in them. I didn't think you owned clothes like that, especially since you seem to look for every opportunity to flaunt your body. Besides, I woke up today and decided I was sick of looking like a slob. You make me feel confident and sexy. I guess I just wanted to wear something to reflect my new attitude."

He chuckled in my ear. "I guess I had the same idea. I just thought, you know, we've never been on an actual date, not that this counts, but I just wanted to look nice for you too. You likey?"

I elbowed him lightly in the ribs, laughing. "You know that I do."

All of a sudden he gently grabbed my wrist, turning it back and forth in his hand. "Jake, what's wrong?" When he didn't answer I turned back to see what was going on. His eyes were locked on the bracelet I was now wearing on my left arm.

"You're wearing the bracelet I gave you." It was a statement of fact, but it came out more as a question. His voice was tinged with surprise.

"I thought you had gotten rid of it."

"What?! No, I just stopped wearing it when I went to Florida. I saw it on my nightstand this morning and put it back where it belongs."

He continued looking at the bracelet while holding my arm. He let out a surprised gasp. I turned my body around, kneeling in front of him so that I could face him and see the expression on his face. His eyes were wide with shock.

"You're not wearing his…heart."

"Uh, no, I gave it back to him."

"Wow, are you okay?"

He looked nervous and worried, as if he was afraid of how I might answer that question. As if I really wasn't okay and that my meeting with Edward might have made me realize that it was Edward I wanted to be with after all. I cradled his face in my hands and rested my forehead on his.

"Of course I'm okay. I love you. That charm was…well I couldn't keep it, even if I wanted to. I told him that it didn't belong to me anymore."

He didn't look reassured. He just sat there in silent contemplation. I brushed his hair back from his face and lifted his chin so that he could look me in the eyes.

"Jake, baby, what is it?"

"It's just, I'm so happy I can't even tell you. When I gave you that bracelet, it was the only thing I could give you that showed you how much you meant to me. I mean, you wouldn't let me love you and you'd already given your heart to someone else. I just wanted you to have a piece of me, one that you _could_ accept. When you told me that you loved it and that you'd wear it, my heart soared. It was a small consolation, but at least it was something. Then, the very next time I see you, his big-ass diamond is on the bracelet. Jesus Christ, it wasn't enough that he had your love, he had to rub my face in it that the one thing I could give you was inferior to the number of things he could provide. He claimed my bracelet as his own. It was like this bullshit pissing contest and no matter what I did, he always won."

His fingers laced with mine as he brought my hand up to his lips. He kissed my wrist, then my palm, and then my fingers where ours joined. In the softest voice, he said, "The bracelet looks much better this way."

My heart was breaking for him. How could I have been so clueless, so insensitive? When Edward first placed the heart-shaped charm on my bracelet, I never once considered how that might make Jacob feel. At the time, I was wracked with guilt because I had willingly accepted Jacob's gift after repeatedly resisting whenever Edward tried to give me things. Edward never understood that his extravagant gifts merely highlighted my feelings of inadequacy. I had accepted the bracelet from Jacob because he had made it, and because he was my best friend. His wolf charm was a reminder that he loved me and would always be part of my life. I never once thought about how hurtful it would be to him to allow Edward to put the diamond on Jacob's bracelet. It must have felt like a slap in the face; yet another reminder that Jacob wasn't good enough.

"Jake, I don't know what to say. I was so thoughtless. I have no excuse. I have so much to make up for."

He kissed me gently as our lips softly molded together. We broke the kiss slowly, gazing into each other's eyes. Jacob's eyes were filled with so much love and understanding, and something else that I couldn't quite put my finger on. He spoke and I realized that I had completely missed something. "Bells, you don't need to make that up to me. But there is something that I'd like to know. Tell me, why is Edward's scent all over your lips?"

I pulled back and saw the anger and disappointment in his eyes. I had planned on telling him all about it. I just thought it could wait until later. I didn't want to ruin the party being thrown in our honor by needlessly upsetting him. But, Jacob had a right to know, and I guess then was as good a time as any.

"Jake, I…"

He got to his feet abruptly and walked towards the waves with his back turned to me. "Were you ever going to tell me Bella? Cuz, I'll be honest, I smelled him all over you when you threw yourself at me earlier. I was just too damn happy to see you to care. I figured you'd talk to me about it as soon as you got the chance. But, seeing as how I've had some time to think about it, I've decided I'm pretty pissed off."

He turned back to face me with fire in his eyes. This wasn't the fire I was used to seeing there for me. He was angry. I stood up and walked towards him. As angry as he was, there was still love in his eyes. He was hurt and he wanted an explanation. He deserved that.

"Jake, I went there to see the Cullens. I wanted to know if they still accepted me after breaking up with Edward, which of course they did. I had missed them all so much. I spent hours just catching up with them while Edward stayed up in his room."

"Hmmf, figures he'd be a pus…"

"Jake, what the hell? Show a little compassion. You have _me_. Be the bigger man, here. Edward is in pain. I don't think it's fair for you to call him names."

Jacob opened his mouth to reply and then wisely closed it. I knew I had to apologize for my part in the kiss, but right now he was pissing me off.

"Look, when I was done hanging out with Alice and the others, I got a chance to talk to Edward alone. We re-hashed some of our issues and I think he's finally at a place where he can accept that I've moved on. But, then I gave him his diamond back and he kind of regressed. He was so hurt that I gave it back. He was just really overwhelmed."

Jacob just stood there with his arms crossed looking pissed. If I wasn't so angry myself I'd say he looked adorable, like a petulant child. I was fighting the smirk that threatened to appear on my face.

"What it comes down to is, Edward touched me and…"

Jacob stiffened and his jaw was clenched tightly. I saw his hands ball into fists. I stepped closer to him and he stepped back with his hands held up. I needed to get this out quickly or he was going to lose it. I had to rip the band-aid off in one fell swoop instead of trying to slowly remove it causing more pain.

"He touched my _hand_ Jake, and we felt a spark, the same connection we always felt. Before I knew it he was kissing me. There's no excuse for it, but for a moment I kissed him back. I realized what I was doing and I pulled away. I told him that there would always be a connection between us, but that it wasn't enough for me. I told him that I didn't want to be with him. Then I got the hell out of there."

I was rambling, but I had to get it all out so that I could fix it. I was ashamed that I had kissed Edward back. I had been caught up in the moment. Edward's breath lured me in and the kiss was so familiar. But, the lips I was kissing were cold and hard, like granite. He wasn't Jacob. I just hoped Jacob could forgive my momentary weakness. He just stood there, silent and seething.

"Jake, talk to me. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. Please don't be angry with me."

His nostrils flared and he actually glared at me. He was livid. "Okay, so you're telling me that you kissed your ex-boyfriend and I'm not supposed to be angry? What the fuck, Bella?"

"Don't you yell at me Jacob! You're mad, I get that. But I can match you temper for temper!" I walked up to him literally poking him in the chest with my finger. It was such a cliché, but I was angry too and I couldn't help it.

"Jacob, I seem to recall that you kissed me TWICE when I was dating Edward. So, don't be such a hypocrite about this. I'm sorry, I truly am. It'll never happen again. It didn't mean anything to me other than truly signifying the end for him. I'm asking you to show me a little understanding."

"Arrrrgh! Fine, I'm going to kill _him_!"

"Oh my God, Jake. You're acting crazy. What did Edward do to you when you kissed me?"

"He threatened to break my face."

"Yeah, while you acted like a cocky jackass flaunting it in his face. I also recall threatening to hit you myself with a crowbar. Gotta say, I wish I had one handy right now to get through that thick skull of yours."

That seemed to have broken the tension. Jacob's beautiful smile returned to grace his face. We chuckled and then both broke into hysterical laughter. He wrapped me in his arms, holding me to his chest. I could feel the rumbling in his chest as his laughter burst out of him. I squeezed him around the waist.

"Jake, did we just have our first fight?"

"Yeah, I guess we did. Our first since we've been together anyway."

"Hmm, how did we do?"

He let out a barking laugh before he answered. "Well, let's see. We had angry words, betrayal, and threats of physical violence. I'd say we did a pretty good job for our first time."

He held me tighter and rested his chin on my head. He was right, when put that way, our fight did sound pretty ridiculous. We loved each other. That's all that mattered.

"I'm so sorry Jake. I love you. You're the one. Always remember that."

"I'm sorry too Bella. We've both made mistakes, obviously. But, there's still one problem." His tone was serious.

"What?"

"Honey, you still reek of leech. Only one thing I can think of to fix that. How about a nice, cold, salt-water bath?"

"Huh?"

Before I had a chance to react, Jake picked me up and ran into the water. The waves were crashing against his knees while I clung to his neck kicking and screaming for him to put me down.

"Jacob Black, don't you dare!"

"Sorry Bells, I can't seem to stop myself. You know what a thick skull I have."

He raised me in his arms and tossed me at least ten feet out into the waves. I hit the water and the first thing I thought was, _COLD_! I instantly resurfaced with my hair hanging down my face. I found my footing and realized I was waist deep in the friggin Pacific Ocean. That son of a … I couldn't even finish that thought because the next thing I knew something big was flying towards me. There was a huge splash followed by howls of laughter coming from the beach. I looked towards the shore to find Quil and Embry doubled over in laughter. I looked next to me only to find that the unidentified flying object that landed only a few feet away from me was My Jacob. He came to the surface spluttering and cursing. He stood up looking like a drowned rat. Scratch that, a damn sexy soaking drowned rat. I couldn't help but join in the laughter.

"What's the matter, baby? You can dish it, but you can't take it?"

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up Bella." He smiled and hugged me, kissing me passionately as the waves rolled passed us. We walked towards the shore, hand in hand. I stumbled a few times due to the uneven terrain and Jacob picked me up and carried me in the rest of the way.

I looked at him as he held me in his arms. "You're still a jerk, you know that right?"

"Why, because I got you all wet? Isn't that what I do best?"

My breath caught in my throat. He set me down on the sand and my knees very nearly gave out. This boy was sinister. I was blushing furiously, hoping Quil and Embry hadn't overheard. Jacob had a smug smirk on his face.

Quil winked at me with a knowing smile. Apparently, he _had_ heard what Jacob said. Jacob was going to pay. Quil couldn't stop laughing. "Well, kids, that was fun. Now if you two lovebirds are done, Billy's ready to start with story time."

We all headed back to the bonfire where everyone was sitting around Billy waiting for him to begin. We were soaking wet and we got a lot of stares and sniggers from the crowd. Jake was all smiles while I tried to hide my embarrassment behind my tangled hair. So much for my meticulous blow-dry in the morning. Charlie took one look at us and just rolled his eyes, focusing his attention back on Billy. As far as I knew, Charlie had never come to one of these bonfires, at least not that I was aware of. I wondered if he had heard any of the Quileute legends before and what he thought of them.

Jake and I staked a claim on the sand close to the fire. Between Jacob's warmth and the bonfire, I would be dry in no time. I listened to Billy regale us with various legends and stories. The legends had such magical qualities that they almost came alive in my mind.

It was getting late and I found myself getting drowsy. I leaned back against Jacob's chest, resting my head on his shoulder. I closed my eyes and relaxed into his arms. I heard everyone getting up and leaving and was filled with dread, because leaving was the last thing I wanted to do. I didn't want to leave the warmth of Jacob's arms only to go home to an empty bed. I kept my eyes closed pretending to be asleep. Maybe Charlie would leave me alone if he thought I was exhausted. God, I was acting like such a child.

Apparently Charlie had noticed my condition because the next thing I heard was him addressing Billy. "Bells looks pretty tired. It'd be a shame to wake her. Do you mind looking after her tonight? I don't want her to drive home when she's exhausted."

"Sure, sure. I was going to head out to Sam's place first, but I'll be home later to keep an eye on her."

"No offense, but it's not Bella I'm worried about."

I heard Jake utter an indignant, "Hey!"

Billy just chuckled. "Don't worry there Chief. Jacob will sleep on the couch."

"Alright then Billy, goodnight. Goodnight Jake."

"Night Charlie."

The pack dispersed and everyone headed home. I'd already gone this far so I kept my eyes closed to continue with the charade as Jacob carried me to his house. Billy had already gone ahead to Sam's so Jacob and I were alone on the path leading to his place. I was warm and content in Jacob's arms, my head resting against his chest. The sound of his steady, thrumming heart was music to my ears.

I heard Jacob's footsteps on the wooden porch so I knew we were home. As he pushed the unlocked door open he whispered in my ear, "You're such a liar Bells. I know you're awake."

My body stiffened slightly in response. I was annoyed that he saw through me so easily. I kept my eyes closed and played it cool, not willing to accept defeat just yet.

Jacob chuckled, "Oh come on honey, you're not that great of an actress. I think even Charlie knew you were faking it."

My eyes opened wide in shock. "He did?!"

Jacob busted up laughing, nearly dropping me in the process. "No, but I thought that might do the trick."

"Grr, you're a jerk!"

"Maybe, but you're the one lying to everyone just so you can spend the night with a jerk."

"Well, maybe I changed my mind and I'd rather go home after all."

"That's fine. I just think I could help you change it back. It's kind of what I do."

He kissed me, rough and hard pressing my body tightly to his. His tongue licked my bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth eliciting a breathy moan from me. The next thing I knew we were in his bedroom. He closed the door behind us. He still held me securely in his arms. I looked at the bed and then back at his beautiful face.

"Uh, Jake, I thought you were supposed to sleep on the couch. You're not supposed to be in here." Not that I minded, this was exactly where I wanted him to be. I just wasn't sure if he wanted to face Charlie if he found out.

Jacob set me down on my feet. His eyes were dark and heavy-lidded with hunger and lust. He moved slowly towards me as I stepped back pressing my body against the door. He slowly closed the gap between us like a predator stalking its prey. My heart was beating rapidly and my chest was heaving with my labored breathing. He leaned down so that his face was only inches from mine, placing his hands against the door right over my head.

"Bells, I'm not planning on _sleeping_ in here, so I think we'll be alright."

Oh God! Good answer Jake!

I was wound tightly. I was so excited and in desperate need of release. Just the way Jacob was staring at me was enough to make me come undone. Without thinking, I launched myself into his arms, attacking his lips hungrily. He grunted as my momentum caused him to take a step back. He quickly recovered and pushed me back up against his bedroom door, hard. My legs wrapped around his waist pushing his arousal closer to my waiting core. We both moaned at the closeness of our bodies. It felt like we hadn't been together in weeks even though it had only been a day. My body craved his touch and fought to be reunited with his. I needed to feel his hardness fill the void in my body.

He kissed me hungrily, our tongues at war with each other. I couldn't get enough of his taste in my mouth and by the special attention his tongue paid to my neck I'd say he was of the same mind. One of his strong arms supported me while he used the other to take off my shirt.

"Baby, lift your arms."

I lifted my arms enabling him to pull the shirt off and over my head. I attempted to continue our kissing when I noticed him staring at my chest letting out a gasp. I looked down my body to see what would have him so stunned.

"Jake, what is it?"

He set me down gently on my feet. He stared at me like a painter looking at his own masterpiece.

"Jake…?"

"Bells, what's this?" His fingertips brushed gently over the lace of my new bra causing my nipples to harden. The confusion I felt was quickly replaced with understanding. Jacob had discovered my fancy underwear and apparently, he was pleased. I tried to play coy, even though I wanted nothing more than for him to tear the rest of my clothes off and take me right then.

"Oh, this…it's just a little something I wanted to wear for you. I take it you like it?"

"Mmm, you look incredible. I was just going to ravish you, but since you got all dressed up for me, I think I'd better slow it down a bit."

I was conflicted. He just told me that he wanted to do exactly what I wanted him to do, he wanted to ravish me; now! But, the way he said he was going to slow down left me dripping in anticipation. His hands moved back to resting against the door, just on either side of my head. I threw my head back giving him better access to lick up and down my neck. His hot breath was at my ear. "How does that sound Bella?"

As if I could formulate a response. I merely nodded "yes" as I melted against the door, bracing myself for his next move. Moisture pooled at my center and I felt my legs getting weak. Jacob knelt in front of me; his eyes now level with my breasts. He grabbed my hands and placed them on his firm shoulders. I wanted nothing more than to tear his shirt off of him, but I was letting him steer this ship.

He firmly grabbed my hips, squeezing the soft flesh contained within my jeans. He leaned in placing soft kisses on the lacy fabric of my bra. He licked the skin in the valley between my breasts, moving his hands up to knead them gently. He kissed down to my stomach, licking and nipping around my navel. He was so slow, so methodical in his movements that he was burning me alive with his tender passion. He kissed me at my center, through my jeans, moaning at my blatant arousal. I whimpered as I was quickly losing control of my faculties.

Jacob slowly unbuttoned my jeans and lowered the zipper. My nails were digging into his shoulders as he tugged my jeans past my hips and I felt his hot breath near my core. My body was calling to him as he slowly pulled the jeans off, lifting my legs individually so that I could step out of them. I was standing in front of him in only my underwear and I felt damn sexy. He looked up at me and his eyes were filled with such love and longing that I knew I wouldn't last long.

I pulled at his shirt. I wanted to see his beautiful body too. Jacob ripped his shirt off of him leaving his beautifully sculpted body exposed to my thirsty eyes. I growled slightly in frustration. That shirt had looked so good on him. But, then I was distracted by his low slung jeans, the only remnant of clothing keeping me from his naked body. The jeans were slung so low on his hips that they highlighted the trail of dark hair that led down to his eager and waiting erection.

Jacob's hands moved slowly up my body caressing my calves and thighs, squeezing my ass and pulling my center closer to his face. "God Bella, I've missed you. I've missed your smell. It's been too long." He proceeded to pepper my thighs and hips with hot, open-mouthed kisses.

I was moaning and writhing under his ministrations. "Jake…ugh…it's only been...ugh…a day."

His hands slipped underneath my panties and he slowly dragged them down my legs, again helping me step out of them. He hitched one of my legs over his shoulder as he grasped my ass firmly. This position gave him better access as his face was now inches away from my heat. His eyes locked on mine, "Has it only been a day? It felt much, much longer."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth he dove, tongue first into my soaking wet center. I gasped in surprise and groaned gripping him firmly by the hair to maintain my balance. His tongue moved up and down my folds, carefully avoiding my most sensitive area, teasing me mercilessly. His hands kneaded my ass as he devoured me like a wild animal. His tongue lightly grazed my throbbing center sending ripples of pleasure throughout my body. He brought me to the edge and then sucked on my aching bud sending me into oblivion. If it weren't for his hands on my ass I would have fallen to the ground. He lapped up the juices of my orgasm as I slowly came down from my high.

He kissed me gently just above my center as he lowered my leg and moved back up my body. He stood up, his hands still easily supporting my weight. He reached behind me and unhooked my bra, tossing it to the side. My heaving breasts tumbled out, inviting him to master them. He pulled my naked body close to his, arching me backwards so that he could kiss my lips passionately. I could taste my own juices in his mouth as his tongue massaged mine. We were both groaning and breathing heavily.

Jacob's hands glided back down my body to the backs of my thighs, our mouths never breaking contact. He lifted me into his arms placing my legs on either side of his waist. I ran my fingers through his hair and up and down his arms. I couldn't get enough of the feel of him. He walked backwards until the backs of his legs hit the bed. I noticed that he still had his jeans on. I reached down and frantically unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down his legs. His erection sprang free as he wasn't wearing any boxers to inhibit it.

"Jake, do you have any…?"

"Uh, yeah, in my nightstand. I bought some today."

He set me down while he reached over to his nightstand to retrieve a condom. He quickly opened the packet and rolled the condom down his shaft. He lay down on the bed pulling me down on top of him, as we kissed feverishly. He attempted to roll me over so that he could be on top, but I decided I wanted to do things a little differently this time around. I placed my hands on his gorgeous chest forcing his back down firmly on the bed. I then straddled his hips, raising myself over his erection. Jacob's eyes roamed my body appreciatively landing finally on my eyes. He smiled a brilliant smile filled with equal amounts of love and lust and I immediately lowered myself down letting his large member fill me up. We both moaned as I paused, adjusting to his size. The feeling was intense. It was as if our bodies were made perfectly for each other. He was the puzzle piece I had been missing.

His hands squeezed my hips as he began to thrust up into me, guiding his penis deeper into my core. I swayed my hips in response, riding him hard and slow. His hands moved up to cup my breasts. I rested my own hands on top of his and moved with him as he kneaded my breasts over and over, occasionally tugging and pinching my sensitive nipples. We both groaned with every thrust, every sway of the hips.

"Bella, you're so beautiful, I…"

"Jake, oh…"

I felt myself approaching my climax quickly. We had never made love in this position and the new sensations were amazing. Jacob was groaning uncontrollably and I knew he was close to his release as well. He lowered one hand to circle my sensitive bundle of nerves and I exploded in a mind-blowing orgasm. Jacob immediately followed, pounding into me harder during his release.

We were both sweat-filled and spent. My face was flushed as my body took over and I continued to slowly move my hips, riding the final waves of my release, even as Jacob softened inside of me. He smiled warmly at me and I felt so happy and fulfilled in that moment that I thought I could burst. It was a perfect moment.

The next thing I knew, the bedroom door burst open and in walked Seth.

"Hey Jake, Sam wants us all to…Oh. My. God!"

Several things happened in a matter of seconds. First, I couldn't move. I literally froze, naked straddling my boyfriend. Seth got a perfect view of all the goods. Then Jake immediately flipped us over, shielding me with his body and pulled the sheet over me. I was mortified and buried my crimson face under the covers. Jake didn't feel the need to cover himself so he just lay in front of me in all his glory, growling in anger.

"What the fuck Seth! Ever hear of knocking?"

Seth just stood there, dumbfounded, immobile. Jake was fuming. I knew he would have beaten Seth to a bloody pulp if he wasn't trying to shield me.

"Seth, get the fuck out of here!" Jacob reached over to his nightstand, grabbing his alarm clock and threw it at Seth's head. The impact caused Seth to finally snap out of his stupor and he started rambling. "Oh, God, I'm so sorry. Bella, don't worry, I didn't see anything, I swear! The door was open and I…"

Jacob and I both yelled simultaneously, "GET OUT SETH!"

"Okay…yeah…sorry…I gotta…" And he was out the door in a flash.

Jacob turned to me and brought the sheet down past my chin. "Bells, are you okay?"

"Jake, I think we need to start looking for our own place."

**A/N: Thank you as usual to my Beta Christine and to everyone who read and reviewed last chapter. You guys are all awesome.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do NOT.**

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

Why does this always seem to happen to me? It's like some grand cosmic joke. Hey universe, Jacob and Bella are about to get it on, maybe it's time to take a peak. You'd think I'd get used to it by now. Then again, is it possible to get used to people walking in on you in various states of undress? I was so embarrassed, and there was nothing I could do about it. The moment Jacob phased, the whole pack would get an eye full anyway. I just never expected one of them to get a first-hand view, let alone Seth. He's just a kid. I've probably scarred him for life. I'll never be able to look him in the eyes again.

I was sitting in Jacob's bed, lost in my own thoughts. I was vaguely aware of him stroking my arms with his fingertips in an attempt at comforting me. I wrapped my arms around my legs and lay my head down on my knees. My long hair spilled down over my face like a curtain hiding my shame. The sheet draped along my curves, my only modicum of modesty. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that Jacob was lying next to me, completely naked, his head propped up on his elbow. Only he could look that comfortable naked. If I wasn't so embarrassed, I might have found the whole situation laughable. Sadly, I wasn't laughing.

"Bells, talk to me."

I looked into his big beautiful eyes and sighed. "Jake, this is just so embarrassing. I thought it was bad enough when Phil caught us making out, but this…This is just too much."

"Honey, it's not that bad. I moved pretty quickly. He probably didn't see anything."

I glared at him. Was he seriously trying to convince me that there was nothing to be embarrassed about? I had enough of men trying to protect me from harsh realities. I didn't need to be rescued here. The damage was done and there was nothing he or I could do about it. I just wanted to wallow in self-pity. Jacob frowned as I continued to glare at him.

"Okay, okay, he saw everything. If it means anything to you, I'm sure he's more embarrassed by it than you are."

"Sure, sure. That makes me feel _much_ better." My tone was laced with sarcasm.

"Wait a minute. Jake, shouldn't you have heard Seth coming? I mean, what's the point of dating a werewolf if he doesn't even use his superhuman abilities to his advantage?"

Now it was Jacob's turn to glare. "Bella, are you serious?"

I looked at him questioningly. He sighed and then grinned at me. "Bells, do you really think I could have heard anything with your gorgeous, naked body moving on top…"

"Alright! Alright, you didn't hear him."

He winked at me and I couldn't hold back a smile. That was just the effect he always had on me. Regardless of the situation, he could make me happy.

"Bells, did you really mean what you said?"

"About what?"

"About getting our own place?"

"Well, yes and no." Jacob looked confused. He silently waited for me to continue. "I do want my own place, eventually. I really want a chance to embrace my independence. After all, I am going to be nineteen in just a couple of weeks. Having you with me would be a wonderful bonus. But, let's face it we have lonely fathers to take care of and no money. Don't get me wrong, I love living with Charlie, but I can't go back to the way things were. You and I have gone past the point of no return. I love you so much. I want to be with you, whenever I can. I don't want to have to hide what we do behind our fathers' backs like little children. The situation that we're in right now is not ideal. I think it's going to get even more frustrating as we get into our routine. But, no matter how old I am, Charlie's always going to see me as his little girl. Regardless of how cool he's been so far, he's not exactly happy with the idea of his daughter having sex. I don't think he's going to go out of his way to make things easy on us. On the flip side, I don't want to have a place of my own just so I can have sex whenever I want. Moving in together is a big decision. We love each other. There's no reason to rush things. We'll just have to figure out the best way to be together while still living at home. We'll make it work."

Jacob kissed me on the lips and smiled. "Sounds like a plan."

We heard a loud banging on the bedroom door which nearly made me jump out of the sheet. Apparently, Billy was home.

"Jake, I don't care what you two are doing in there just don't make a liar out of me. When you're ready to go to sleep, make sure it's on the couch. Night son. Night Bella."

Oh God, it just keeps getting worse. I groaned in frustration. Jacob wrapped his arms around me in an attempt to comfort me.

"Bells, I'm sorry. Tonight just hasn't worked out the way I planned."

"Jake, it's not your fau…wait. What did you say? You _planned_ tonight?"

He lowered his eyes and a blush stained his dark skin. He replied sheepishly, "Well, no…at least not really. It's just when I heard my dad was heading out to Sam's before he came home, I knew we'd have some time to ourselves. That's all."

I smiled at how frustrated he was getting from my teasing. "Sure, Jake. I believe you."

"Well, you should. Besides, you're the one who pretended to fall asleep at the bonfire so you could stay with me and showed up wearing all that sexy underwear. Who seduced who here?"

It was now my turn to blush as he was exactly right. It had been my full intention to seduce him when I got dressed in the morning.

"Bells, why are we even talking about this? I mean, have you looked at us? You're naked in my bed covered only by a thin sheet; which, by the way, is now my favorite thing you've ever worn. And, well, I'm just naked. I think we're wasting a golden opportunity here."

He let his fingers trail up my bare arm and then down to my exposed back sending chills down my spine. He had a mischievous grin on his face that told me he was up to no good.

"Jake, you've got a one-track mind. Are you insane? Billy's home, remember? And I did just have Seth walk in on me. The last thing I need is to tempt fate while Billy's in the house. It would just feel weird anyway."

He nuzzled my neck and nibbled playfully on my ear while his hand moved down to my legs. "Awe, come on. He wouldn't come in. He knows better than that."

"Eww, Jake. The point is, he'll _know_! Just keep it in your pants."

"But I'm not wearing any pants."

I opened my mouth to reply but was cut off by a loud howl in the forest. I immediately froze in terror thinking it was a call to arms. What new threat to my life lurked out in the woods tonight? Jake tensed initially, but noticeably relaxed as the howling died out.

"Jake, what is it?"

"Don't worry Bells. That's just Sam. It's not a warning howl, but I do need to see what he wants. That's probably why Seth came here in the first place."

We both blushed at the thought of Seth. I was clearly uncomfortable even thinking about it.

"Bells, I gotta go, but I'll be back as soon as I can."

He bent down and kissed me gently on the lips whispering, "I love you." He walked towards his window and was about to climb out when I realized he was still absolutely naked.

"Jake, what about your clothes?"

He grinned widely. "Bells, I'm just going to have to take them off when I phase anyway. What's the point? Besides, this way I'm giving you a reminder of what you'll be missing while I'm gone."

I was barely listening to him. My eyes shamelessly raked across his sculpted body. His long, slender, yet muscular arms were tight with tension. His legs were strong and smooth and led right up to the most perfect backside a woman, or man for that matter, could ask for. I didn't want him to leave. I wanted him to lie down and let me touch every inch of his body. He was beautiful and he was mine. My eyes glazed over as I was lost in my own fantasies. I only registered that he had stopped talking when I heard his barking laugh. I looked him in his bright, shining eyes and he simply winked at me saying, "See, I told you."

I groaned at his arrogance and threw a pillow at him. He was already outside and phasing by the time the pillow hit the windowsill. A giant, russet colored wolf appeared in his place, paws on the window pane. His giant wolf head was cocked to the side as his tongue hung out, silently taunting me. Driven by instinct, I pulled the sheet down my body and flashed him my breasts with a devilish grin of my own. Jacob's wolf mouth snapped shut and his eyes opened wide. At first, I chuckled to myself at his reaction. I thought to myself, _two can play that game, Jake_. Then I realized the severity of my actions. Jacob had phased! I had just flashed the entire pack! Oh. My. God! Jacob gave me a sympathetic look then whimpered as he ran off into the forest.

I got out of bed and immediately put on Jacob's button down shirt. It still smelled like him. Maybe that would keep me company as I willed myself to be sucked into a black hole. I kept making things worse. I just had to act all flirty and flash him. Now, I had to deal with Quil and Embry and their incessant teasing. Sex really was frying my brain. I could always join a nunnery. Women still did that, right? But, then I'd be giving up what I've built with Jacob. I'd just have to suck it up and deal with the embarrassment, because Jacob was worth it.

I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew I felt an incredibly warm body slip under the sheet and climb into bed with me. I pressed my back into Jacob's chest as his arm wrapped around my waist holding my hips tightly to him. He moaned softly when he realized I was wearing his shirt. He whispered in my ear, "You don't know how exciting it is to see such a beautiful girl waiting for me in my bed, and wearing my shirt. You look sexy as hell Bella."

"Mmm, how long were you gone?"

"Just about an hour. It's late, or early depending on how you want to look at it. Go back to sleep."

He kissed me sweetly on my shoulder and snuggled in for the night. I was too curious about the meeting with Sam and the pack's reaction to my little stunt to allow sleep to take me back that quickly.

"Jake, what did Sam want? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, he just wanted to go over some new patrolling schedules."

"That's it?"

He was quiet for a moment. "Trust me Bells, you don't want to know anything else."

I turned around to face him, lying on my side, suddenly feeling very much awake. "I _do_ want to know. Besides, telling someone they don't want to know something is the guaranteed way of making them really want to know. It's like climbing up a mountain and telling someone don't look down. Now, come on, we don't keep secrets, remember?"

"I know, I know. It's not really a secret. It's just, I don't want to embarrass you…you know…any _more_ than I already have."

Now I was nervous. My rational side said to leave well enough alone. Jacob knew me better than anyone, sometimes better than I knew myself. If he thought I didn't want to hear something, then I should probably listen to him. But, as usual, my stubborn side won out.

"Spill it Jake!"

"God, Bella, you're so pushy sometimes."

"Hmmf, pot calling the kettle black, much?"

"_Anyway_…Sam mentioned that he wanted to have a meeting right after the bonfire. I forgot all about it because, well, you know why. When I didn't show up the guys figured I was _occupied_. So, Quil and Embry thought it would be hilarious to send unsuspecting Seth to come get me."

My eyes widened as the realization washed over me. They sent Seth over here to play a joke on him, on us. Oh, it's even more embarrassing than I thought.

"Well, when Seth got back, he didn't even bother phasing. He just walked right up to Sam and told him that I was busy and then headed home. Apparently he looked really pale and refused to look anyone in the eye. Quil and Embry thought that was too funny and let the rest of the pack in on what they had done. They assumed that Seth saw even more that they expected him to see. That's when Sam howled to get my attention. When I got there they were giving me catcalls and whistling at me. They were all laughing uncontrollably, all except for Sam and Leah. Leah was pissed that the guys involved Seth so she started chewing Sam out and Sam then started chewing me out. It was a regular old chew fest. Needless to say, I decided to rearrange Quil and Embry's faces. They'll be fine, werewolves do heal pretty quickly. But, they are seriously on my shit list."

I stared at Jacob, wide-eyed and red-faced. This whole situation was beyond humiliating. "You're right, Jake. I didn't want to know."

I turned around and snuggled back into his warmth hoping I would fall asleep quickly and forget this humiliating experience.

"Wait, what did you just say?"

"I said I didn't want to know."

"No, what you said was, _you're right, Jake_. Geez, if you could just put that in your head as a given, we'd be golden."

"Shut up Jake."

"Yes ma'am."

I felt the sweet pull of sleep dragging me into the world of dreams. Jacob's body warmed me like my very own cocoon. As I nodded off, I remembered Billy's warning from earlier.

"Jake, baby, you need to go to the couch. You don't want Billy angry with you."

"But, I'm so comfortable right here. I put some blankets on the couch so it'll look like I slept there. If Billy wakes up before we do, I'll just tell him I came in here in the morning. No harm, no foul."

I was too tired and comfortable in his arms to argue with his logic. I settled against his body and immediately fell into a deep sleep.

The next morning I woke up alone. I looked around the room for any signs of Jacob. I was about to get up to get dressed when the bedroom door opened wide. I grabbed the sheet making sure it covered me from the waist down before I realized that it was Jacob barreling through the door. I breathed a sigh of relief and smiled brightly at the wide grin he wore on his face, especially since he was wearing little else. He was clothed in the usual cut-off sweatpants with his hair tied back away from his face. It was a vast departure from the tight fitting collared shirt (which I was now wearing) and the pristine jeans he wore the night before. But, then again, he would be beautiful if he was covered in mud. I glanced down his body and saw that he was carrying a tray laden with food.

"Good morning. What's all this?"

He sauntered into the room looking very pleased with himself. "This is breakfast in bed."

"What about Billy?"

"Billy already ate."

"No, dummy, I mean, what if Billy catches us…"

"Oh, don't worry. He left hours ago to go fishing with your dad. We have the house to ourselves."

"Did you stay here all night?"

"Of course I did. I got up and ran to the couch when I heard Charlie come in."

"Didn't Billy get mad?"

"Bells, my dad is a little more laid back when it comes to this sort of thing. He knows how much you mean to me. As long as we're careful, he doesn't care what we do. Now, stop worrying and dig in."

He placed the tray on my lap and lay across the head of the bed. He propped himself up on his elbow as he leaned in behind me, kissing up and down my back.

"Jaaaaake! If you keep that up, I won't be able to enjoy this yummy breakfast."

He took a deep cleansing breath as he rested his head on my back. I felt his lips move against me. "Don't mind me beautiful. I'll behave."

_Yeah, I'll believe that when I see it!_ I looked down at the tray in my lap and found a plate with a heaping stack of semi-burnt, misshapen pancakes. My heart ached for all the effort he put into them. I dutifully began eating and was pleasantly surprised to find that they tasted much better than they looked. I turned back to kiss Jacob on the cheek.

"Thank you for making me breakfast. It's delicious."

As I leaned in to kiss him, the sheet slipped down past my hips exposing my bare thighs to Jacob's hungry eyes. He kissed my shoulder as his hand moved up my inner thigh, towards my burning heat.

"Mmm, not as delicious as you."

With one long arm he lifted the tray off my lap and reached over my body placing it on the floor. My mouth opened in protest until I caught the glint in his eyes. There was hunger there, but the desire had nothing to do with food. I still had my fork in my hand and a mouthful of pancakes. I blurted out between chews, "Hey, I was…still…eating."

He took the fork from my hand and I heard it clatter down onto the plate. He caressed my cheek and kissed me, licking his lips. "Mmm, maple syrup kisses."

He pulled the sheet off my body and then slowly unbuttoned my shirt. I was putty in his hands as he gently pushed the shirt off my shoulders and down my arms. He pressed his body close to mine, our bare chests creating a beautiful friction. His kisses became more passionate and fevered as his hands roamed the now familiar planes of my naked body. He laid me back against the pillows, hovering over me. As he pressed his body to mine, I couldn't help thinking; _what a beautiful way to kill a couple of hours._

We emerged from his bedroom around noon feeling spent and euphoric. I didn't want to leave it, but I thought some fresh air could do us both some good. We decided that it would be nice to spend some time on the beach before I had to head home. I hadn't brought any extra clothes or a swimsuit for that matter. I ended up putting on the same outfit I wore to the bonfire. Of course, it took me a lot longer to get dressed because I had to crawl around on the floor looking for my underwear.

We walked outside and I immediately realized that I hadn't called Renee since I got home. I was sure she would be worried sick. I retrieved my phone from my truck where I had left my purse the night before. Sure enough, I had messages galore. I had two missed calls from Renee, one from Alice, and eight from Edward. There was also a text from Edward that read simply, _I'm sorry_.

I called Renee quickly to let her know that I was sorry I hadn't called, but that I was alive and well. She had so many questions for me and she wanted to talk to Jacob. I had to promise that I would call her later and fill her in on _everything_ before she would let me hang up. I put the phone back in the truck. I didn't want to deal with Edward then. Jacob and I only had a couple of worry free days left before we got serious about school and jobs. I didn't want to ruin our day together by bringing up Edward.

We walked hand in hand down the path to the beach. Jacob sat on the sand facing the water while I lay down next to him resting my head in his lap. We spent a long while just looking at the clouds and listening to the soothing sounds of the ocean. We didn't say much, because nothing needed to be said. We were perfectly content to share this moment in silence. All the peace and tranquility we were feeling vanished when we heard an angry voice come up from behind us.

"What kind of twisted perverts are you?"

_Leah._

Leah towered over us with a feral look on her face. She was seething in her own rage, and it was terrifying. I remembered the time I had dinner with the Clearwaters, back before Harry had died. I thought then that Leah was a remarkably beautiful girl. She had dark, expressive eyes, a bone structure any model would kill for, and long gorgeous black hair. So much had changed since that night. She had chopped her hair off when she became a werewolf, and her eyes were bitter pools of despair and sadness. Her bitterness marred her once beautiful features. Not that I could blame her. Not that I could judge her.

Jacob stood, pulling me up with him. He positioned me slightly behind him, ostensibly acting as a buffer between Leah and me. He growled at her as she continued to glare in our direction.

"What is your problem Leah?"

"What's my problem? How about the fact that you and "Miss Can't Make Her Mind Up" put on a porn demonstration in front of my kid brother."

She was in Jacob's face. I could see how his body was tensed, trying to maintain his calm demeanor.

"Leah, who the hell do you think you are? First of all, Seth isn't a kid, so stop acting like your protecting his poor little baby eyes. He's fought a newborn on his own. He doesn't need you mothering him. Secondly, what Bella and I do, in my own damn bedroom, is NONE of your business. For your information, Seth walked in on us, late at night, without knocking. If anyone should be apologizing it's Seth, or better yet, take it up with Quil and Embry. They're the ones who thought the whole thing was hilarious. Stop getting so bent out of shape about it. Bella's embarrassed enough without you adding to it."

"Oh, that's right, poor Bella! How could I be so insensitive? I mean, once she's done fucking you, she's just going to run back to that leech of hers. Oh, wait, was that insensitive too? Why do you put up with her shit? Just because she's your imprint, doesn't mean she returns the same level of devotion. Just a few weeks ago she was going to marry the bloodsucker, right? Wait, did she feel guilty because we all had to save her ass from those newborns? Is that why she's with you now?"

Leah's body was vibrating in anger. I never realized she had such strong feelings about me. I figured she didn't like me, but I never knew it was much closer to hate. I knew my behavior in the past was not beyond reproach. Even so, she was basically saying that I was using Jacob for sex and that I was fickle enough that I would change my mind and run back to Edward, leaving him broken-hearted and a fool. Now it was my turn to be angry. As angry as I was, my wrath couldn't compare to Jacob's. He was shaking violently, mere moments away from phasing. For once, my need for self-preservation kicked in and I did not want to find myself in the crossfire.

"Don't you EVER talk about Bella again. I knew you were a hateful bitch, but this is even too much for you. You may get inside my head, but you don't _know_ me. And you don't know Bella. You don't know what we have, so stay the hell out of it!"

"Oh, I don't know you, huh? Hmm, let's see, little Jakey pining over the idiot who fell in love with a bloodsucker. The same idiot who let you put her together once said bloodsucker left her in the dust. This wonderful, angel, Bella, who dropped you like a bad habit the minute her loser boyfriend came back to town. You're pathetic Jake. You think a few romps in the hay are going to keep her around? You go running after her like a dog with its tail between its legs to tell her that you imprinted on her and now all of a sudden she's in love with you? You're a fool!"

"That just proves my point. You don't know a god damned thing. First of all, I didn't run after her, at least not in the way you think I did. I went to see her to finish it. I didn't want to live like that anymore. She loved him, and I was done. When I got there, she said she was in love with _me_ and that she was wrong all along. I only told her that I imprinted on her a couple of days ago. She didn't choose me because of it. The imprint doesn't mean a damn thing to either of us. I loved her before it, and I'll always love her. No imprint can change that."

Leah looked surprised to hear that I had chosen Jacob prior to knowing about the imprint. If she could have seen how devastated I was the night he told me, when I so ridiculously misunderstood him, she might have been a little more sympathetic. But, even that didn't quench her fury.

"I don't give a fuck about how your little affair started. The point is you don't need to be humping up against every tree in the god damned forest. Have a little respect!"

Jacob was just as furious as he lashed out at her. "What is your problem? Honestly, I just don't get it. This isn't even about Seth, is it? You were acting like a total bitch all day yesterday. Are you mad because of what Bella did to me in the past? Because, I didn't think you really cared all that much about me. If that's it, then you need to get over it. Bella and I have worked things out and I'm fine."

Leah said nothing, but continued to glare at Jacob like he was insane. Then Jacob pushed it a bit too far when he asked, "Are you jealous?"

_Uh oh, Jacob. Watch it! _

"Jealous? You think I'm jealous of your skinny little bitch here? You think I want to have a _boy_ like you? Please, you're delusional. You're weak, Jake and that's what's pissing me the hell off. You can't keep your hands off of your little slut and you're letting this whole imprint thing lead you around like a broken puppy. Where are your balls? What, you don't have any choice in the matter so you just force yourself to believe that she's the only one? She's setting you up for heartbreak. I'm just trying to save you from that."

"I told you to shut your mouth about Bella. She doesn't deserve your bitterness. She's not Emily, and I'm not Sam!"

Tears instantly sprung from Leah's eyes as she clenched her jaw trying to will them away. Jacob opened his mouth to continue his verbal assault when he took in her tormented face. I felt like an intruder into this intimate confrontation. I wanted nothing more than to be far away at that very moment. I was angry and hurt by Leah's harsh words. But, Jacob made me nervous by continuing to enrage her. I trusted him to know what he was doing. I just hoped he realized that he was walking on thin ice. Leah was about to snap at any moment.

"No, you're not _them_. You're just as pathetic as them though. You're slaves to this whole imprinting bullshit. It's not love; it's need. There's no choice, no will, just blind devotion. If that's the life you want Jake, then you're a bigger idiot than I thought you were."

"Leah, how many times do I have to say this? The imprint means nothing to me. I've seen inside Sam's mind just as much as you have. I've seen what he and Emily have. I know that the love Bella and I share has a stronger foundation than any imprint could provide. If I would've imprinted on someone else, I _know_ it wouldn't have changed a thing. If I was drawn to someone else, I would have fought it. I love her too much not to fight. You know enough about me to believe that. Wait…That's what this is about, isn't it? You're pissed off because Sam didn't love you enough to fight for you."

"You son of a bitch!"

Leah punched Jacob in the face, his head jerking to the side on impact. The sound of her fist connecting with his jaw was like a car slamming into a wall. It was deafening. I flinched as he looked back at her, spitting blood out of his mouth.

"Do you feel better now?"

"Fuck you, Jake!"

The dam broke and something within Leah snapped. She hit him again and again. I could only look on, frozen in terror. Jacob held his hands by his sides, never once raising them against her or to defend himself from her violent assault. I stood in shock as Leah continued to beat the man I loved and I was powerless to stop it. She was screaming in agony and crying out to Jacob, begging him to hit her back. He looked at her with sadness and understanding in his own eyes. He was on his knees in front of her, blood dripping down his face. I didn't know what to do. I didn't understand what I was missing. And then it all became so clear, as if a light bulb went on in my head. Leah's painful situation was very much like ours.

I was just like Sam. I had the perfect guy who loved me even when I was broken. He was my best friend, my confidant. He was my sunshine in the darkness. Jacob was the natural path my life would have taken had I never met Edward. He was perfect for me in every way, because he let me be myself. Our friendship had blossomed and developed into a deep and profound love. It was similar to what Sam had shared with Leah before he imprinted on Emily. But, when Edward came back, I ignored all those feelings and fell back into my blind devotion to Edward. Edward was akin to my own imprint. He was my first love, that indefinable perfection that I needed to make me complete. He was an incredible draw. He was a drug and I was a hopeless addict. I loved Edward so much that I was blindly devoted to him. I felt that I couldn't survive without him. I felt like I had no choice. I knew I loved Jacob, but the choice was clear, I needed Edward to survive. But, I was wrong. I opened my eyes and realized I did have a choice. I had refused to see it at first because of the constant daze I was in when I was around Edward. I chose Jacob, and in so doing, I showed him that I loved him enough to ignore the fantasy. I chose reality, not always as thrilling, but just as deep and rewarding. Sam couldn't do that for Leah. He gave her up for an ideal, for a fantasy, leaving Leah feeling unworthy and unloved. Jacob understood that. Jacob was letting her work through the pain.

Leah's knuckles were swollen and bloody. She sank to her knees in front of Jacob who was hunched over, bleeding profusely. I ignored my urge to faint at the sight of all that blood and concentrated on the drama playing out before me. Leah's voice was strained as she spoke in a soft whisper to no one in particular.

"Why wasn't I enough?"

I did the only thing I could think to do. I knelt down next to Leah, and wrapped my arms around her as her sobs wracked her body.

"Why wasn't I enough?"

Leah's strong body collapsed against me in defeat. Her head rested in my lap. I brushed her hair back away from her face and wiped the tears from her eyes, trying my best to soothe her. Jacob crawled over to her other side and threw his arm across her shoulders. He looked me in the eyes. That one glance conveyed that he was alright. But, more importantly, understanding flowed between us. We needed to be there for Leah. She was his sister, and she needed friends, now more than ever.

_Why wasn't I enough?_

Leah's words echoed through my mind. When Edward left me, that's exactly what I had thought. Why wasn't I enough to keep his love? Why was I so unworthy? But I had Jacob to lean on, to comfort me, to love me for the broken person I had become. When Sam left Leah for Emily, she didn't fall apart. She didn't have a chance. Her father approved of their relationship since he was in on the whole werewolf secret. Leah was abandoned by her lover, and in her mind, her own family. The fact that Harry died so suddenly and Leah and Seth became werewolves only added to her misery. So, instead of falling apart, she built a wall around herself, a barrier that kept everyone else out, protecting the remaining pieces of her broken heart. Unlike me, she walked around strong and hard letting her bitterness and anger shield her from reality. Regardless of our methods, we were both broken inside. Today was the first time that Leah dealt with her pain. For some reason, Jacob instinctively knew that he had to help her with it. And now, we were both here to comfort her.

We drove Leah home shortly after. Sue thanked us for taking care of her. As we turned to leave, Leah, her eyes red and her cheeks tear-stained, looked up at me and said, "Thank you, Bella." I knew from that moment on that Leah and I would be close friends. We finally understood one another.

We left the Clearwater's, heading back to Jake's place. I needed to get home as I'd been gone a lot longer than I had planned. Jacob got out of the car and walked over to the driver side, resting his folded arms on my open window. His face was already healing. There was only minor swelling around his right eye. I reached up and gently caressed his cheek. He winced slightly at my touch, but then placed his hand on mine.

"That Leah's got a mean right hook, huh?"

"Jacob, you were amazing today. You were so strong and understanding. You were just what she needed. How did you let her do that to you?"

"Because we're family. We're friends. That's what you do when you care about someone. She's broken and she thinks she's a lost cause; beyond repair. That's kind of my specialty. She needed to know that there's hope for her."

When I held Leah, sobbing in my lap, I saw in her what Charlie and Jacob must have seen in me. I was broken like her once. But, I wasn't lost. Thanks to Jacob. And Leah wasn't going to lose herself. It was time to return the favor; to pay it forward.

Jacob and I said our goodbyes and I headed home. I walked in through the front door to find Charlie putting the day's catch in the freezer.

"Hey Bells. Have a nice day?"

"Yeah Dad, it was great. I'm just going to run upstairs and shower then I'll get dinner started."

"Bella, you need to stop worrying about me. You're not my maid. I've been thinking a lot lately. You're going to go off to college soon. I need to get used to living on my own again. I'm going to learn how to cook and let you off the hook. In the meantime, I did order some pizza. It should be here in just a little bit."

"Sounds good Dad." Maybe he didn't need me as much as I thought he did. It was just a day filled with revelations.

I started towards the stairs when I heard the phone ring. "I'll get it Dad."

I answered the phone and was struck dumb by the voice I heard on the other end.

"Hello?"

_Bella, please don't hang up. We need to talk._

Edward. I was _so_ not in the mood for this.

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. You guys are awesome! **


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do NOT!**

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

_Bella?_

I froze. I wasn't ready to have another confrontation today. I couldn't seem to will myself to speak. I heard Edward sigh deeply on the other end.

_Bella, I know you're still there. I can hear you breathing. Look, you don't have to say anything, just please give me a chance to apologize._

I finally found my voice. "Edward, it's okay. Just forget it."

_Bella, it's not okay. I'm so sorry. I behaved deplorably, and I put you in an uncomfortable position. I've always prided myself on being a gentleman and I can't forgive myself for forcing myself on you. I…_

"Edward, please just stop. I accept your apology. Stop beating yourself up about it. It was a mistake. It just can't ever happen again."

_I just made so many mistakes with you._

"Edward, we both did. Your first love doesn't exactly come with an instruction manual. It was a learning experience for both of us."

_I think we did everything backwards._

"What do you mean?"

_Well, I think we fell in love without ever really being friends. I see how important that is now. Bella, I won't lie to you. This is incredibly hard for me. I love you and I miss what we had. But, I don't want to lose you completely. I want to try to be friends, to be a part of your life, if that's still what you want._

I felt an overwhelming sense of relief coupled with a tinge of guilt. Here I was, getting everything I wanted. I had Jacob, but I still got to keep Edward as my friend. What did Edward get? Was I being selfish for wanting Edward in my life?

_Bella? Alright, I understand. I won't bother you…_

"No, Edward! Sorry, I mean, yes, I would still like us to be friends. Regardless of what's happened between us, you mean so much to me. I don't know if I'm ready for you to be gone from my life forever. I have no right to ask it of you, but that's what I want."

_I can't tell you what this means to me Bella. I'm really going to try. I won't let you down._

That was the first of many conversations that began the friendship between Edward and me. It had been two weeks and we had talked on the phone every few days. It was nice to feel free and at ease with him. The past several weeks had been filled with such anxiety and guilt. It was nice to feel as though we had a clean slate.

Edward had asked to see me several times, but I had always declined. We were new to this whole friendship thing and I didn't want to test our boundaries so soon. I was also trying to be mindful of Jacob's feelings as well. I knew it bothered him that I still wanted Edward in my life, but I also knew that he understood my reasoning. I did want Edward around, but Jacob was my priority. He needed to know that there was nothing to fear from my friendship with Edward.

I was rather busy since the bonfire looking for work. Luckily, the Newtons were happy to take me back so I was able to start right away at Newton's Outfitters. I also got an internship at a publishing house in Port Angeles. It didn't pay anything, but I figured it would be a great stepping stone and provide work experience for my career as a writer.

True to his word, Charlie made an effort to learn how to cook. He really was a disaster in the kitchen. But, with my help, he learned the basics of boiling water for his pasta to simple breakfast omelets, and broiling his fish. He invited Billy and Jacob over for dinner almost every night to serve as his guinea pigs.

As much as I saw him, Jacob and I hadn't spent any real quality time with each other. When he came over with Billy, he had his books with him to study for the GED. We both knew how important the test was to his, and our, future. I would help him study and before we knew it, Billy was hollering that it was time to leave. We couldn't even bother sneaking out to see each other because we were both too exhausted from our busy schedules.

Jacob was busy with work as well. He found a job at a body shop on the reservation. His work, studies, and regular patrols had taken a toll on him. I counted myself lucky just to be able to hear his tired voice over the phone. Luckily, all of his studying paid off because he had passed the GED test with flying colors and was now a high school graduate.

The pack had planned a huge party to celebrate my birthday as well as Jacob's graduation. I figured there was no use protesting, especially since I wouldn't be alone in the spotlight. After the fiasco that was my eighteenth birthday party, I was opposed to celebrations that centered on me as a rule, but Emily was pretty insistent. Leah had expressed her wish that I enjoy it and shut up about it, so I grudgingly accepted.

When Alice found out that the pack was throwing me a party, she couldn't hide her disappointment. She had thought all parties in my honor were her responsibility. I tried to tell her that it wasn't a good idea, what with the way things were between Edward and me. She wasn't upset for too long because as it turned out, the Cullens were expecting a visit from the Denali clan the same weekend. Apparently they were coming to make amends with the Cullens for abandoning them during the battle with the newborns. I had to admit that I was relieved. I wasn't looking forward to another extravagant party where I was the only one who could enjoy the food or the cake. Alice made me promise to set aside time for her the morning of my birthday so that she could give me my presents. I readily agreed, as I had finally learned that it was useless to argue with her.

I woke up the morning of my birthday feeling refreshed and vital. Jacob had something planned for me that night but he wouldn't give me any clues. I had to work at Newton's and I was expecting Alice to show up before I had to leave. I got out of bed and headed towards the bathroom when my cell phone rang. I answered the phone and was immediately serenaded by a smooth, sexy voice.

_Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Bella, happy birthday to you!_

I couldn't contain my girlish giggles. I thought that Jacob was singing purposely off key for the added effect.

"Thank you for your…_lovely_ singing."

_Aw, come on, it wasn't that bad, was it? Don't answer that, you might damage my fragile ego. So, are you ready to celebrate with me tonight?_

"Yes, I just wish I knew what we were doing. A girl's got to know so she can dress accordingly."

_Since when do you care how you dress?_

"Since you."

_Oh…well…in that case, don't where anything at all. It is your birthday after all. They don't call it a birthday suit for nothing. Aw crap, I gotta go Bells. I'll come by to pick you up at six. I love you._

"I love you, Jake."

I got ready for work and managed to eat a quick breakfast just as Alice arrived. She came carrying a large bag filled with perfectly wrapped packages. I was warned ahead of time to be grateful and to ignore the cost. She came inside and sat down at the kitchen table with me. She smiled warmly, but her eyes were filled with sadness.

"Alice, is everything alright?"

"Of course, silly. It's your birthday today. How could there be anything wrong?"

I cocked my eyebrow and glared at her.

"Okay, I know, your birthday isn't exactly synonymous with a problem free day. Nevertheless, this year is different. So, without further ado, open your presents."

She placed a large rectangular box on the table. The card indicated that the gift was from Jasper and Alice. I opened the box and gasped in surprise to find a top of the line laptop. Alice was practically jumping in her seat with excitement. I was conflicted. I was annoyed that they had spent so much money on me. But, on the other hand, I was in desperate need to upgrade from the dinosaur of a computer I had upstairs.

"Oh Alice, this is too much..."

"Don't even start with me Bella. You and I both know that you love it and more importantly, you need it. You can't be a successful writer lugging that obsolete computer of yours to school with you."

I jumped out of my seat and wrapped my arms around Alice's tiny body. "Thank you so much Alice. I love it."

"I know. Now, open the others."

Emmett and Rosalie had given me a thousand dollar gift certificate to a department store with a note about hoping it would help with my college wardrobe. I frowned when I noted the extravagant amount. "Look on the bright side," Alice chirped. "It's better than the first gift Rosalie picked out." I couldn't imagine what would be more extravagant than one thousand dollars. But, my curiosity was piqued.

"What was it?"

"A flea collar!" Alice broke into uncontrollable laughter while I rolled my eyes. I suppose I should get used to these types of jokes.

Next I opened a card from Esme and Carlisle indicating that their gifts were meant to provide me with a safe and happy college experience. I opened the gifts individually and smirked at the theme they had chosen. They had given me a fire extinguisher, a first-aid kit, an emergency flashlight with a built-in transistor radio, and several military-grade, pre-packaged meals. Either they were preparing me for the apocalypse, or they figured these were just necessities in the life of Bella Swan. I couldn't help but laugh. This was a side of Esme and Carlisle I didn't often see. They both had a great sense of humor. I opened a final package from them which turned out to be a book on great female writers of the 20th Century. Not only were their gifts thoughtful, but they were practical and I knew I'd get a lot of use out of them. (Well, maybe not the pre-packaged meals, but everything else.)

I was so pleased with my gifts. The Cullens were so generous with me, even though I was no longer with Edward. They still loved me and wanted to make my transition into college seamless. It had not escaped my observation that there was nothing there from Edward, not that I expected gifts from anyone. Alice interrupted my train of thought.

"Bella, Edward's actually coming by soon. He wanted to give you his gift in private. Don't worry, I promise you he'll behave."

I sat quietly for a moment, lost in thought. I had been meaning to talk to Alice about Edward, but I was nervous about how to broach the subject.

"Just ask me Bella."

"How is Edward? I mean, really. How has he been these last few weeks? He's asked to see me, but I've tried to keep my distance and restrict our communication to phone calls. Have I pushed him too far?"

"He's…well he's…he's miserable Bella."

Tears formed in my eyes at her brutal honesty. I knew it was killing Edward, but I selfishly chose to ignore his pain.

"Bella, don't you dare get all weepy. I'm not going to let you feel guilty about the choice you made. Edward made his own choices. He screwed up. He underestimated you and Jacob for that matter. Do I wish you would have stayed with Edward? Hell yes. But, not if it meant you'd have an eternity of regrets. I wouldn't wish that existence on anyone. I love you Bella. You may not be marrying Edward, but you're still my sister. Always. Besides, if you had to be with anyone else, I'm just glad it's Jacob."

I was stunned. Alice's admission seemed to come out of left field. I could see in her eyes that she was sincere, I just couldn't for the life of me understand why. She never once had shown much appreciation for my friendship with Jake. I eyed her questioningly. She simply shrugged her shoulders.

"Don't look at me like that Bella. Let's face it. If you were with someone else, _anyone_ else, I'd be able to _see_ you. Frankly, I think that would make things a lot harder on all of us."

Of course! Jake's presence makes her blind to me and to the things we do. I turned beet red. Well, thank heaven for small favors. It was bad enough that Edward could smell things, but he certainly didn't need a visual play by play. And as much as I loved Alice, I liked the idea of her being blind to our activities. It was nice to know we could enjoy some semblance of privacy.

Then again, it was laughable to think that Jacob and I could enjoy any kind of privacy. The only privacy we've had as a couple was on our road trip. Everywhere we went, there's family or friends just lurking around, seemingly just waiting to catch us in a sordid act. I had seen Seth only twice since the night he walked in on Jacob and me. Both times we barely managed a mumbled "Hello" before we both turned red and walked in opposite directions. I couldn't even look him in the eye. So, privacy was definitely a hot commodity. I had forgotten all about Alice who now had a concerned look on her face.

"Bella, I meant what I said. If you're this in love with Jacob, then obviously you've made the right choice. You need to stop feeling so guilty. I know you love Edward, but we both know that part of loving someone means letting them go."

"Yeah, I guess it really is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, right?"

"Well, that's true to an extent. But, that saying doesn't really apply to vampires."

"What do you mean it doesn't apply?"

"When you're human, love and especially loss are a natural part of life. You suffer heartbreak and the loss of loved ones. But, with time the pain lessens until ultimately it's erased completely by death. When you live forever, the pain never dies. You can move past the pain, but it always lives relatively close to the surface. In many ways it's as if there's no release, no relief."

"Alice, what the hell? You just told me to stop feeling guilty about my choice and now you're telling me that Edward's going to be miserable forever? How can you say that to me?"

"Bella, I'm sorry. That came out all wrong. I don't believe that he'll be miserable _forever_. In fact, I know that that's not the case for Edward. He's just too stubborn to listen."

"Have you seen something?"

"I have. After he kissed you that last time, I had a vision of a young woman. I couldn't see any details. I just saw large green eyes that were full of strength, empathy, and love. And, I knew that she represented another chance at love for Edward. I haven't seen it since, so I don't know when their paths will cross, but I now know that there's hope. Edward's just too busy wallowing in his own misery to listen to me."

"So, Edward's going to meet someone?"

"Yes, does that bother you?"

"No, it makes me so happy. I kept telling him that I wasn't the one, telling him that there was someone out there for him. I knew in my heart that there had to be because I didn't love him as much as he deserved. It makes me so happy to know that I wasn't just offering him lip service. He's going to be made whole again. I couldn't ask for a better birthday present. Thank you so much Alice!"

I jumped into her arms and embraced her. She patted my back and pulled away quickly saying, "Well, that's my queue to leave."

I looked at her questioningly until I heard a light tap on the front door. Understanding washed over me as I realized Edward was here and wanted to be alone with me. Alice fluttered out of her seat and I walked her to the door. She embraced me one last time before opening the door revealing Edward on the porch. She exchanged a meaningful glance with Edward before she turned back to me. "Happy birthday Bella. I'll talk to you later."

"Bye Alice. Thank you for _everything_."

She walked to her car leaving me alone with Edward. He stood on my porch holding a small package in his hands. He looked a lot better than he did the last time I had seen him. To tell the truth, he looked incredible, like he always did. His hair was slightly damp and he smelled like he just stepped out of the shower. He wore a dark blue, long-sleeved shirt with a nice pair of dark jeans. His signature crooked grin was plastered across his face as he watched me take in his appearance. Sadly his smile didn't reach his eyes. He started to fidget in the uncomfortable silence.

"Bella, may I come in?"

"Oh, of course. Sorry."

He walked in and waited for me to close the door before following me into the living room. I sat down on the couch and he hesitantly sat down next to me.

"Bella, I know you wanted me to keep my distance, and I didn't ask if I could come over, but it's your birthday and I wanted to give you your present in person."

"Edward, it's fine really. I mean, friends visit each other, right?"

He looked nervous but nodded in agreement. He handed me the beautifully wrapped package.

"Well, are you going to open it?"

His eyes were practically twinkling with excitement while his face maintained a composed, almost indifferent demeanor. I tore off the wrapping paper to find an old, leather-bound book. I opened the cover to see that it was a first edition of _Wuthering Heights._ I caressed the leather on the cover and brought the book to my nose, inhaling the musty, aged scent. It was so old and beautiful. A first edition?! This must have cost a fortune.

"Edward, it's beautiful, I love it. I just don't think I can accept this. It's too…"

"Bella, please, I found this for you months ago. I was saving it for our…for a special occasion. I think your birthday suits that purpose. We've talked about this kind of thing for the past two weeks. Friends let friends do things for them. It's just money Bella, and I happen to have a lot of it. What's the point of having all this money if I can't spend it on the ones I care about?"

"Grrr, fine Edward! I absolutely love it. Thank you so much."

I threw my arms around him and held him close. He stiffened in my arms as my body brushed against his hips. I felt the evidence of his arousal and I pulled away blushing shamelessly. Okay, that was awkward.

"I'm so sorry Bella. We may just be friends now, but it's difficult for me to…to separate…"

"Edward, it's okay, let's just change the subject."

He glared towards the front door and muttered under his breath, "That won't be a problem."

There was a loud knock on the front door. Since when did I become Miss Popularity? I could tell from Edward's expression that it must be someone from the pack, but I knew it couldn't be Jacob because he was working today. I opened the door to find Seth standing on the porch holding a bouquet of flowers.

"Seth, what a surprise. Come on in."

He walked into the living room without making eye contact with me. Both of our faces were bright red.

"Happy birthday Bella. Leah wanted to give you these flowers but she's busy helping our mom around the house. I'm scheduled to patrol soon so I told her I'd drop them off."

"Thank you Seth." I took the flowers from him and quickly found a vase for them in the kitchen. I came back into the living room and said, "Tell Leah I said thank you too."

"Sure, sure"

He looked up and nodded at Edward who was now standing off to the side. "Hey Edward, how's it going?"

"I'm fine Seth, thank you." Edward smiled warmly at Seth. Ever since they fought side by side to bring down Victoria they had developed a unique bond. I noticed that Edward's smile quickly faded and he looked at Seth with a confused expression on his face.

He asked, "Seth, is there something wrong? You keep repeating the same thing over and over again in your head?"

Seth started to stammer, looking increasingly uncomfortable. "Huh? What? Oh…shit."

All of a sudden Edward growled and Seth dashed out the door yelling, "Sorry Bella, I couldn't help it!"

Oh sweet Jesus! If Seth was just thinking what I think he was thinking, then Edward has…the insanity just never ends.

"Bella…I need to go."

"Edward, what you saw…it…"

"Look, I know that you and…_Jacob_…have a physical relationship. It's just hard to _see_ you in someone else's mind, especially Seth's of all people. I'd like to say that I'm angry, but really I'm jealous of what I could have had. You should have been making love to me. You should have been in my bed. I was just too scared to make it happen, and now it's too late."

"Edward, I…"

"No, please don't say anything. I need to cool off. Have a happy birthday Bella. I…I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

"Sure, sure." And with that he drove off. Things were just so complicated between us.

I spent an excruciatingly long day at Newton's. You'd think the fact that we were busy would have made the time pass quickly. Sadly, that was not the case. The only thing that got me through the day was the promise that I'd be seeing My Jacob at the end of the day. No studying, no work, and no nosy fathers occupying our time. It was going to be just the two of us and I was exhilarated at the thought.

I raced home and immediately jumped in the shower. It was five thirty and Jacob said he'd be by at six to pick me up. I didn't know what he had planned for the evening, and frankly I didn't care. I thought I'd dress nicely for the occasion.

I threw on a short khaki colored skirt with a form-fitting green blouse. I put on some flats to keep it casual, but I knew the outfit would drive Jake crazy as I so rarely showed my legs. I had curled my long hair so that it bounced around my shoulders. I was putting the final touches on my face when I heard a knock on the front door. I hollered loudly.

"Jake, the door's open, come on in!"

I went back to the bathroom to apply my lip gloss when I heard another knock on the door. This time the knocking was louder and more insistent. Maybe it wasn't Jacob after all. I ran down the stairs, careful to avoid breaking my neck, and answered the door.

I opened the door to see Jacob framed in the doorway. He was wearing a crisp, white button-down shirt, (he seemed to know what those shirts did to me) with a pair of dark jeans and boots. I shamelessly ogled him up and down until my eyes took in his beautiful face. His shiny hair was tied back in a loose ponytail and he had a sexy smirk on his face.

"Jake, why didn't you just come in? The door was open."

"Because, this is a date Bella, our first official date. A guy just doesn't barge into his date's house. We're going to do things right tonight."

I smiled warmly. Jake had expressed concerns that I wasn't being treated the way I deserved. I tried to reassure him that as long as he loved me, he was treating me right. Since we hadn't had much alone time in the last two weeks, it was difficult to reinforce my opinion. But, I had to admit, Jacob showing up like he did and dressed the way he was, was exciting. I stepped back and Jacob walked in beside me. Before I had a chance to close the door he spun me around in his arms, dipped me backwards, and kissed me. It was the kind of kiss Rhett Butler would have given Scarlet O'Hara. It was a kiss filled with equal amounts of love and passion. He stood me up and I was breathless. He whispered in my ear, "Happy birthday my beautiful Bella," and I think I almost swooned.

"You look incredible Bells. Are you ready to go?"

I still hadn't found my voice. I finally snapped out of it and took his offered arm. "Yes, Jake, I'm ready. Where are we going anyway?"

"All in due time, Bells. Let's just say I know you don't like making a big fuss about your birthday, so just think of this as a special date. I told you I felt bad about not taking you out. Well, tonight should more than make up for that."

"Jake, I already told you. There's nothing you need to make up…"

His stern look silenced me. I didn't want to argue with him. He grabbed my hand and walked me out to his rabbit. He opened the door for me and there were two boxes wrapped on the passenger seat. I picked them up and sat down as he closed my door and walked around to sit in the driver's seat.

"Well, are you going to open them?"

His eyes were eager and I could tell he was having a hard time containing his excitement. I opened the smaller box first. I felt my heart skip a beat as I took in the beautiful wood carving. It was a tiny, intricate sun charm for my bracelet. My sunshine was giving me yet another piece of him to wear at all times. The wolf was his way of telling me he would protect me, and now the sun was his way of showing me that he would always be my light in the darkness to guide me back home.

"Oh Jake, I love it. It's so beautiful."

"Here let me help you with that." He took the charm from the box and placed it on my bracelet. I turned my arm back and forth admiring his delicate craftsmanship adorning my wrist.

I leaned over the center console placing my hand on his cheek. "Thank you so much Jake. This is the best present ever."

"Well, it's not expensive or anything and it's not much, but…"

"Jake, shut up. It's perfect." I leaned in and kissed him tenderly, closing my eyes and focusing on the softness of his lips and the perfect way our mouths fit together. I sighed as I pulled away and then smiled when I took in his dazed expression. It was nice to know that he was similarly affected by our kiss.

"Aren't you going to open the other one?"

I had forgotten all about the larger package that was resting in my lap. I tore off the wrapping paper and gasped in surprise.

"Jake, how did you do this?"

In my hands was a hand-carved wooden picture frame with a sun bursting through clouds carved into the top right corner. In the frame was the picture of the two of us taken on our road trip. It was the one he took of us while holding me in front of the pond, the morning after we made love. His smile is so wide and I'm kissing him on the cheek. We look so happy, so in love. It was a beautiful moment captured in a photograph that I would treasure for the rest of my life. I couldn't stop the tears from falling down my face. I was so impossibly happy, I couldn't contain it. Jacob caressed my face in his hands, his eyes filled with concern.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing Jake. I'm just so…how did you do this?"

"Well, I noticed when you were helping me study in your room that the disposable camera we used on our trip was just sitting there. I knew you probably had forgotten all about it and that you were too busy to take it in yourself. So, I snuck the camera in my bag and developed the pictures for us. I planned on just giving you the pictures until I came across this photo. I thought it was a perfect picture of both of us. It captured how happy you make me. So I got to work on carving a simple frame and…well there it is."

How did I get to be so lucky? I practically threw myself across the center console into Jacob's lap, gaining a bruise to my thigh for my efforts. I gripped his face and brought his lips to mine. I was overwhelmed with emotion. I kissed him passionately and felt his arousal straining against his jeans. He pulled back, short of breath. His eyes were dark and heavy-lidded.

"Bells, wait…wait. You're jumping ahead. We still have dinner and a movie, then a surprise."

I brought his head back to mine roughly, whispering kisses up and down his neck. He moaned and let me kiss him on the lips. He pulled away again, laughing.

"Bells, you're an animal. Save it for later. Trust me, you're gonna need it."

I whimpered at his implication as he physically removed me from his lap and deposited me gently back in the passenger seat. I was glad to be sitting because his last comment made my body weak. I took a deep breath to center myself. I looked over to Jacob who wore a ridiculously goofy grin. His face was slightly flushed and he looked uncomfortable in his seat. He adjusted his massive erection and winked at me. He reached for my hand and held it as we drove off.

We drove into Port Angeles where Jacob had made reservations at a nice steakhouse. We had a wonderful meal and great dinner conversation. As well as we knew each other, it was amazing that we always had something interesting to say or learn from one another. It was hard to keep our hands off of each other, but we were able to maintain some decency in public.

Jacob then took me to see a movie. It was a much different experience from the horror film we saw when Mike got sick. We sat towards the back of the theater in a row all to ourselves. The theater was pretty empty for a Friday night. We sat through the first hour just holding hands and stealing subtle glances in the dark.

I was cold in the air conditioned theater so I leaned close to Jacob wrapping myself around his arm. His hand rested on my bare skin, as my skirt had ridden up while I sat. Chills ran up and down my body as his warm hand gently kneaded my thigh. My breath caught in my throat and I closed my eyes enjoying his fevered touch on my body. Apart from the chaste kisses and warm embraces we shared over the past two weeks, this was the most intimate expression we had experienced.

Jacob, the devil that he is, noticed my reaction and began stroking my thigh, up and down, with his fingertips. His hand would move up my leg until in reached the hem of my skirt and then he would move back down to my knee. I closed my eyes enjoying his familiar touch. Soon the movie was all but forgotten and we became a tangled mass of limbs as we hungrily devoured each other. My hands got lost in his hair, pulling it loose from its bindings. I was about to climb into his lap when he laughed, grabbed my hand, and led me out of the theater.

When we got outside I was embarrassed at how carried away I had gotten. Jacob simply embraced me, kissing me hungrily showing me that he was just as excited as I was. My eyes conveyed my need for him and he groaned at his own obvious arousal.

"Jake, I need you."

"I need you too, honey. There's just one thing I need to do first. Can I borrow your phone?"

"Huh? Oh, of course."

I reached into my purse and handed him my cell phone. He pulled me close and kissed me before walking to the side to make a call in privacy. Whoever he was talking to, it was a short conversation and he was handing the phone back to me in no time.

"What was that about?"

"You'll find out soon enough. Come on, let's go."

He took my hand and led me back to his car. We drove back towards Forks in comfortable silence. Jacob kept my hand in his the whole way and he had an incredibly wide grin on his face. He was clearly up to something and I knew he had no intention of sharing what it was with me.

He pulled off onto a small dirt road on the outskirts of town. I had never even noticed this road before and I was surprised he was able to find it off the highway. He drove for about a mile until the road came to a dead end. He grabbed a flashlight from the glove compartment then turned off the headlights and the ignition. He ran over to open my door and took my hand helping me out. I looked around in confusion. We were in the middle of the forest.

"Jake, if this is where you murder me and dump the body, I'll pass."

His resounding laugh echoed in the quiet wilderness. "Bells, you watch too many made for tv movies. Now, hop on."

He turned his back to me and crouched down indicating that I should climb up on his back.

"Uh, Jake, I don't know if this skirt will allow for that kind of movement."

"Hmm, and here I was, loving that skirt. Oh well, we'll just do things old-school style."

With that he grabbed me and threw me over his shoulder like a caveman. I screamed in delight as one arm wrapped around my legs holding them to his chest. He playfully spanked me with his other hand causing me to yelp in surprise.

"Jake, what the hell are you doing?"

"You ask too many questions woman. Just hold on because I have to run for a few minutes to get you to your surprise."

"Jake, you know I don't like surprises."

"Trust me honey, you'll like this one. And, if you don't then you can always divorce me."

I snorted as I tried to stifle my laugh. "Divorce? Jake we're not even married yet!"

"Really, I assumed with your yapping and constant nagging that we were. My bad."

From my position, dangling over his shoulder, I had perfect access to his rear end. I swatted him hard on the butt and grunted, "You're such an ass!"

He laughed and took off running deeper into the forest. After a few minutes he slowed down and told me to close my eyes. He stopped and set me down letting my body slide down past his obvious arousal. He turned me around and my eyelids glowed pink with light shining in front of me. Jacob bent down and kissed my neck, whispering in my ear, "Open your eyes Bella. Happy birthday."

I opened my eyes and was stunned by the sight before me. We were in a small clearing surrounded by evergreen trees which infused the air with their piney scent. In the middle of the clearing was a hand-made square gazebo built with four thick branches and covered on top with a large piece of canvas. On the ground, under the canvas roof, was a floor made up of large pillows and blankets of various colors and textures. Hanging around the canvas roof was a string of old mason jars filled with candles, creating a fairytale atmosphere. My mouth had fallen open and I was struck dumb. Jacob pressed himself up against my back as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

"Well, I can see that you like it." I turned my head slightly to see a warm smile lighting up his face.

"Like it? Jake, that doesn't even come close to how I feel right now. I love it. How did you do this?"

He squeezed me gently and kissed the top of my head.

"Well, I was talking to Leah about how we haven't had any _quality_ time together and that I wanted to do something special for your birthday. A hotel just wasn't going to cut it. You deserve so much more than that. I told her what I wanted to do and she reminded me of this place that we'd seen on our patrols. So, she helped me get all the materials together. I called her from the theater and she set this up for us."

"Remind me to thank her next time I see her."

He chuckled against my ear and spun me around so that I was facing him. I took his face in my hands and pulled his lips down to mine. I kissed him all over his chin, his cheeks, his jaw, and back to his lips.

"Thank you for loving me like you do Jake. I love you so much."

He rested his forehead against mine and sighed. "Thank you for letting me love you."

He kissed me passionately and deeply until my knees got weak and a tension had built within my very core. I needed him at that moment more than ever before. I slowly undid the buttons of his shirt while his hands rested firmly on my hips. I spread the shirt open over his chest letting my hands touch and caress every muscle and curve of his gorgeous skin. I pushed the shirt off of his shoulders, down his arms, and let it fall to the ground. I kissed every inch of his chest while looking up at him behind my own lust-filled eyes. He groaned at the sight and squeezed my hips harder.

I slowly unbuckled his belt and unzipped his jeans maintaining eye contact with him the entire time. I bit my lower lip in an attempt to force myself to take my time and not attack him. He bent down and sucked my lower lip into his mouth and whispered his longing in my ear.

I lowered myself to my knees in front of him watching as his eyes rolled back into his head and he groaned in anticipation. I couldn't contain my smirk as I reached for his boots to untie them. He looked down at me, confused, and then smirked himself. I pulled his boots and socks off then slowly moved back up his body letting my breasts rub against this arousal. I stared at him trying my best to look wide-eyed and innocent.

"You're such a tease, Swan."

"I haven't heard you complaining, Black."

I tugged his jeans down passed his hips until they fell down his long legs. Of course, My Jacob wasn't wearing any underwear and his massive erection practically bounced out of its confines. He stepped out of his jeans and pulled me close, licking and nipping at my neck. My hands explored his back and his ass. It turned me on even more to see how confident he was just standing in front of me in all his naked glory.

Jacob started taking control and moved me back towards the beautiful make-shift bed of pillows and blankets. The back of my heels hit the pillows and that's when Jacob slowly and seductively began to undress me. He started with my blouse, undoing each button slowly and then pushing it off my shoulders letting it fall to the ground. He undid the button and lowered the zipper of my skirt pulling the fabric down past my hips to the ground. He was bent on one knee in front of me serving as a stabilizer while I stepped out of my skirt. I kicked off my shoes and was left in a sexy white lace bra and panty set that left little to the imagination.

He eyed me hungrily, devouring every inch of bare skin with his mind. Moisture pooled in my panties like liquid heat and his nostrils flared at the scent of my arousal. His hands caressed my calves and moved up to the backs of my thighs, tickling me the whole way up. Jacob stood up, but bent his body towards me with his hands firmly gripping my thighs. With a grunt from him and a surprised scream from me, he lifted me up by my thighs and wrapped my legs around his waist. We both moaned as my center rubbed up against this member with only a thin piece of lacy fabric barring us from our mutual goal.

Jacob attacked me with his fevered kisses setting my skin on fire. I pulled and tugged at his silky hair while I pressed my mouth to his repeatedly. He moved to the center of the cushioned floor and laid me down, hovering over me with his weight distributed onto his forearms.

"Bella, I've missed this, missed us so much. And this…," he paused while taking in my underwear. "This is enough to give a guy a heart attack. You have no idea how fucking incredible you are, do you?"

I gave him a sexy smirk, "Oh, I think I have an idea."

He growled playfully as his hips once again found mine, our tongues licking and tasting each other. His hot hands caressed my breasts through the lacy fabric and rolled my pert nipples between his thumb and forefinger. I had been in a heightened state of arousal since he showed up on my doorstep earlier in the evening. My body craved release and his eyes promised me that I would get just that.

He reached behind me and expertly unclasped my bra, tossing it to the side. He gently cupped my breasts in his hands leaning in to nip and suck on my straining nipples. I closed my eyes and arched up into his touch, writhing at the sensation. He moved down my body placing open-mouthed kisses all over my breasts and stomach. His nose rested at my center and he closed his eyes inhaling deeply of my arousal.

"God Bella, I want you just as badly."

I whimpered as he tugged my panties down my legs exposing me completely to his hunger. He wrapped his arms around my hips resting his hands on my stomach. I leaned up on my elbows to look down at the beautiful sight of this god between my thighs. As I stared at his perfection he licked me up and down the entire length of my slick folds. We moaned simultaneously and my hands gripped his hair. His tongue circled my entrance before focusing its attention on my throbbing bundle of nerves. It didn't take long before my insides clenched sending shudders through my body like waves.

Jacob pulled back for a moment and then he was back hovering over me. I noticed that he already had a condom in place. When did that happen? His hands moved up my thighs, over my ass, and delicately traced the skin of my back pressing me to his heated chest. His breathing was quick and heavy. He positioned his unbelievably hard member at my entrance and nuzzled against my neck.

"Bells, I love you. I need you…so much."

"Jake, I need you too, _please_."

Jacob pushed into me slowly, my walls stretching to accommodate him. When he was fully seated I felt that I might climax again just from the sensation of his warmth within my core. I sighed contentedly and he groaned in pleasure. We fit together so perfectly and it was never more obvious than when we were in the throes of passion.

We made love slowly, neither one of us in the mood for some of our more heated displays. As he moved in an out, one hand found mine and his fingers intertwined with mine, holding our hands gently over my head. He kissed me tenderly, deeply, and my head spun with the smell and taste of him. The tension in my lower half was mounting as Jacob increased his pace. We were both covered in sweat and our bodies slid effortlessly against each other creating a heavenly friction. It felt so good. It felt _too_ good. My mind was going numb from the constant pleasure and pressure building in my heat. He moved in and out a few more times and then gently pinched my bundle of nerves.

Like a bear trap, my body clenched and clamped down around Jacob. I felt his member throbbing within me as it pulsed and he found his own release. I had a death grip around his neck with one arm and I squeezed his other hand that was still tethered to mine. The moment of sheer ecstasy caused me to grip his hips tightly between my thighs. I wanted to lock him within my heat forever. He kissed me gently as the tremors subsided.

"I love you Bella, with all my heart and soul."

I couldn't respond. There were not words for what I felt so I tried to convey my feelings through my tear-filled eyes. He kissed me tenderly on my lips and then on my brow as he withdrew from my center. I whimpered at the loss of contact but knew that we would experience that same passion several times that night. Until then he lay on his back pulling me on top of him while he caressed my skin. He nuzzled me and whispered in my ear, "That wasn't so bad for a first date, was it?"

I sighed contentedly and laughed at our current situation. "Jake, does this make me a slut now that I've slept with you on our first date?"

He chuckled and squeezed me tightly. "Get some rest Bells." He kissed me lightly on my forehead and smiled against my skin.

I awoke to the morning sun creeping through the canopy of the trees. Birds were chirping and Jacob's slow and steady breathing was music to my ears.

"Good morning beautiful. Are you hungry?"

"Mmm, yes, but not for food." I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him letting my tongue trace the edges of his full lips. He chuckled and returned the kiss with equal fervor. He pulled back suddenly, his eyes wide with confusion.

"What is it Jake?"

"I don't know. I thought I heard something." He stood up and left our little tented sanctuary and stood in the middle of the clearing. I couldn't stifle my giggles at seeing the evidence of his morning arousal. His face was serious as he scanned the trees, his nostrils flaring as if he was trying to pick up a scent. In an instant his body went rigid and a snarl escaped his lips.

"FUCK! Bella, get dressed. We need to get out of here, NOW!"

I was frightened by his tone, but tried my best to follow his order. I was shaking so badly that I couldn't get my clothes on fast enough. He was next to me in a flash helping me into his oversized shirt.

"Jake…what…what's going on?"

He simply locked his eyes on me and said the one thing I never wanted to hear.

"Vampires!"

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, but this is the longest chapter EVER so I hope it was worth the wait. First I want to thank my Beta Christine for being AWESOME, as usual. Secondly, I would like to thank everyone who has read and reviewed this story so far. Your reviews are wonderful and really inspiring. Third, (and last) I would like to thank those who have left anonymous reviews. I can't reply to yours, but I want you to know that they mean a lot to me. Thanks. **


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do NOT!**

**A/N: First and foremost, please don't hate me because this took so long.:) I had a serious case of writer's block. Next, I'd like to thank everyone who read and **_**reviewed**_** the last chapter. You guys are awesome. You offer so much encouragement and I just want to let you all know that it's appreciated. I try my best to respond to each and every review, so please let me know what you think. I'd especially like to thank, Tara, V, Kat, and Aaliyah. You guys submitted anonymous reviews so I couldn't respond, but I loved them. So, thank you. And finally, thanks to my beta/best friend Christine who really helped me work through the kinks in this chapter. Please read and enjoy.**

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

_Vampires._

It was hard to believe that there was a time when vampires didn't exist, at least not in my world. They used to be relegated solely to myths and legends. Vampires were part of scary stories told around a campfire at night. My perception had been off, _way_ off. A lot of things I held to be true were proven wrong when I moved to Forks. My life had forever been altered by vampires. It wasn't too long ago that I was engaged to a vampire, that I had wanted to become one. Yet, I'd never been so terrified of the word "vampire" than right at that moment. My association with the Cullens had brought me unbelievable happiness. But, I couldn't forget that that same association had also brought me heart-wrenching pain and was bound to kill me.

The Volturi held a death sentence over my head. I had two choices: I could become one of them, or I could die. Either way, my life would end. Neither option was all that appealing. So, was this it? Had the Volturi decided that my number was finally up? I thought I had time to figure a way out of that mess. I had Jacob now. Surely the two of us could figure out a way to live outside of their influence. I mean, he was a werewolf for god's sake. And, if it wasn't the Volturi, then what new threat happened to be lurking in the same woods where I was sleeping? Why was I such a danger magnet?

I was shaking uncontrollably. With one word, the happiness I had found with Jacob appeared to be slipping through my hands like so much sand and I was powerless to stop it. I was constantly putting his life in danger; first with Victoria, then the newborns, and now this. Why did loving me involve putting one's life on the line? I didn't know what I would do if I lost him. I heard a stern voice calling to me as if from across a great distance. I felt my consciousness slipping away until strong hands grasped my shoulders shaking me out of my stupor.

"Bella, Bella! Focus. Look at me honey," Jacob pleaded.

I focused on his face, his beautiful eyes, and realized I was getting carried away, _again_. I took a calming breath before I responded. "Jake, what's going on? What do we do? I'm so scared."

He managed a warm smile, though his brow was still furrowed with worry. His hands cupped my face, his thumbs brushing gently against my cheekbones. "Bells, listen to me. I've got to get you to La Push. I can smell vampires in the area and the way the wind is blowing, it looks like they're headed into town. They're really close to our border. I have to warn the others, but I need to get you safe first."

He moved his hands down to the front of my shirt, (or his shirt as the case may be) and finished buttoning me up. I was still shaking so badly that I could barely move. He handed me my underwear and helped me step into them. I looked around our make-shift tent for my skirt and couldn't find it anywhere. Jacob took my hand and pulled me to my feet.

"There's no time. I'm going to phase now and you need to climb on. Hold on tight and don't let go until I stop."

"But, Jake!"

Jacob's body exploded and was replaced by the large, russet-colored wolf I had come to know and love. He let out an ear shattering howl before crouching low on his haunches so that I could climb onto his back. I knew there was no time to consider the awkwardness of the situation so I climbed on and clung to the thick fur surrounding his neck. The moment Jacob felt my hands wrapped in his hair he took off running.

The trees passed by in a green blur. The morning air was cold and whipped against my skin. I pressed my body firmly against Jacob's trying to leach as much warmth from his skin as possible. But, it wasn't working. I was numb and it wasn't just from the cold. After a few minutes I closed my eyes to shut the world away. The sound of Jacob's paws hitting and pushing off of the ground was the only sound I heard. My heart was beating out of my chest. I buried my face in his coat, in helpless resignation and let my mind wander.

I thought about all the time Jacob and I had spent together since Jacksonville. I thought about all the opportunities wasted when I took Edward back, knowing my whole heart wasn't in it. I had made so many mistakes, inflicted so much pain. And, there were so many things I wanted to do. So much I should have said. After everything I had put Jacob through, I hadn't had enough time to make it up to him. What if I was out of time? What if this really was _it_?

Why did this have to happen now, today of all days? Was I forever doomed to have my life threatened on my birthday? I had no idea what would happen with these vampires in La Push. All I knew was that Jacob and the people who had become my family were in danger, because of me. And I was sick of it. This was it. This was the last birthday that was going to be ruined by vampires! As I clung to Jacob, I slowly felt his hot skin begin to thaw the terror that had permeated my heart.

I felt as though my very blood was boiling. God, had I not learned anything? Would I always play the victim in the story of my life? I wasn't the same girl I was when I came to Forks. I'd faced certain death, on numerous occasions, and survived. I was stronger than I gave myself credit for. I needed me to be strong and here I was on the verge of going catatonic. Wasn't it enough that Jacob put his life on the line to protect me? I didn't have to endanger him further by freaking out and acting defenseless. I _wouldn't_ be a distraction.

Jacob needed to focus, and as his partner, I was the person to help him do just that. I wasn't helpless. Granted, I also wasn't a physical match for vampires. But, I was smart, and I happened to have the one advantage that Jacob and the rest of the wolves didn't. I knew how vampires thought, how they worked. I had experiences with the good and the bad. I had escaped the clutches of the Volturi in Italy. I had listened to stories and seen with my own eyes how they behaved. I saw first-hand the powers they possessed. I could be a valuable asset to the pack.

Before I knew it Jacob's pace had slowed. I raised my head and opened my eyes to see that we were approaching his house. It was still early, and no one was around, so Jacob loped right up to the front porch. He came to a stop and crouched down again allowing me to dismount.

As soon as my feet touched the ground Jacob stood next to me after having quickly phased back. When I looked up at him I wasn't surprised to see that he was completely naked. He took my hand and led me through the front door and into his bedroom.

He began to frantically search his closet. I had no idea what he was doing, but I assumed it must have been important. I stood in the middle of the room shivering. Jacob's shirt hit me mid-thigh, leaving the majority of my body exposed to the crisp morning air.

I watched as Jacob threw on a pair of cut-off shorts and tied a leather cord around his ankle. He walked towards me with something in his hands. I was too lost in my own thoughts to notice what it was. His voice brought me to attention.

"Bells? Honey, put these on. You're shivering."

I grabbed the sweats from his hands and put them on quickly. Before Jacob could turn away I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss. I devoured his supple lips until I was dizzy from lack of oxygen.

He gazed at me dumfounded. "What was that for?"

"Do I need a reason? I love you. I want you to be careful and I don't want you worrying about me."

"Bells, I always worry about you. When you love someone as much as I love you, you can't help it."

"I know, and I feel the same way. I just think that there's something I can do to help."

With a look that told me he thought I was crazy, Jacob muttered, "No offense Bells, but _how_ can you help?"

I felt my temper flare. Jacob stepped back for a moment, his hands raised up in a show of surrender. "Honey, I didn't mean it like that. I'm honestly asking you, what can you do to help me with this? I'm a werewolf. Fighting bloodsuckers is what I was made to do. Now, if telling these vamps off and putting them in their place would work, then you'd be the first person I'd bring. But, I've got to be realistic here. I can't bring you with me. I'd be so worried about you getting hurt that I'd expose myself or one of the pack to unnecessary danger."

"Jake, I know. I wouldn't ask you to. But, there's got to be something I can do. I'm tired of being the helpless damsel in constant need of rescuing. I can be strong too, you know."

"No one knows that better than I do. I just don't see a way…"

Jacob jerked his head up and it looked as though he was listening intently. He grabbed my hand leading me back towards the front door. "Come on, Sam's waiting outside."

Sam and Seth were waiting for us on the gravel driveway. Although I was now covered up, I blushed shamelessly when I realized I wasn't wearing a bra under Jacob's white shirt. I felt painfully exposed. I dropped Jacob's hand and crossed my arms over my chest self-consciously.

Sam walked up to Jacob, stone-faced and ready for battle. "Okay Jake, what do we know?"

"Not much. I don't think I would have even smelled anything if the breeze hadn't picked up when it did. Where are Quil and Embry?"

"Since I was already phased when you howled I ran to Quil's and had him get Embry to run patrols along our border. I sent Leah to guard Emily and Kim. Jared and Paul took the others and are splitting up throughout the woods in case they come from a different direction.

"Okay Sam, let's go. Seth, you take care of Bella for me."

"Yeah Jake, she'll be safe with me."

I understood why I was being left behind. A couple of months ago I would have thrown a fit like a spoiled child trying to get her way. I knew if I wanted it badly enough, I could convince Jacob to let me come with him, even against his better judgment. But, what purpose would that serve? I knew what my strengths were and they were so obviously not connected to physical prowess. What did I have that the wolves didn't? I couldn't shake the idea that I knew I could help in some way. I had a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that told me that this presumed vampire attack could be avoided. I couldn't help thinking that there was something I had overlooked, something that would explain this insanity. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had information. "Jake, wait!"

He turned back towards me, his eyes filled with concern and a tinge of impatience. "Bells, I told you, we…"

"No, Jake. I can't believe how stupid I've been. This is all just a misunderstanding."

I was so happy, I was giddy. I had completely forgotten that Alice had told me that the Denali clan was coming to visit that weekend. That was the only reason Alice hadn't given me a hard time about Emily and the pack throwing me a party instead of her. I was internally jumping for joy at the realization and smiling brightly letting Jacob know that everything was alright.

"Bella, what do you mean it's all a misunderstanding? There are vampires in town and heading straight towards us. How is that okay?"

"It's just the Denali clan. They're friends of the Cullens. Alice told me weeks ago that they were coming to visit. I didn't think it was important at the time and then it just sort of slipped my mind with how busy we've been lately. But, see, everything's okay. There's nothing to worry about."

Instead of looking relieved, Jacob's eyes narrowed and his beautiful face was distorted with anger. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

I was taken aback. Here I was offering him the key to victory and he was, _mad_ at me? Sam and Seth shifted nervously on their feet carefully avoiding eye contact with me. "Jake, why are you mad? This is a good thing."

"Why am I mad? My girlfriend knows that a coven of bloodsuckers is coming to town and she doesn't feel it's important enough to tell me. I can't imagine why I would be mad."

"You can quit with the sarcasm Jake. I don't appreciate it. I didn't tell you because I didn't think it was a big deal. I wasn't deliberately trying to keep it from you. I've tried really hard to keep my vampire friends and werewolf friends separate and apart. I guess I didn't feel it really concerned you. Besides, they're like the Cullens. They're vegetarians."

"Oh, so they're like the Cullens. Well, why didn't we just roll out the red carpet for them? Damn it Bella! This is our job, _my_ job. I'm a protector of my people. How am I supposed to do my job when you keep important shit like this from me? Sometimes I think your love for those _things_ makes you blind."

"Well, your hatred for them makes you rash and ignorant! Why are you fighting with me Jake? You personally have benefited from Carlisle's help. If it wasn't for him you might not have made it after the fight with the newborns, and you know it. You could be dead! He's not a monster and neither is anyone else in that family. You're the one who has this massive chip on his shoulder."

I saw fury flash in Jacob's eyes and decided to change my tactics slightly. My tone became more understanding and less accusatory. "Look, I get it. In another time, another place, you would be mortal enemies and all that jazz. But, the Cullens are caring people. They've fought along side you. They're not your enemy. And neither are their friends. Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about them, but they don't mean you any harm. They're just here to visit. They shouldn't be anywhere near La Push."

"Exactly Bella, they shouldn't be. So why are they?"

All my confidence in the fact that this was all just a misunderstanding vanished as his words hung in the air. He had a point. If it was the Denali clan that Jacob smelled, as I suspected it was, then why wouldn't they just go straight to the Cullen's mansion? They knew about the wolves so they would know not to cross the treaty lines. In fact, they were coming to visit to make amends for not helping the Cullens fight alongside the wolves against the newborns. And with what happened to Laurent, they knew better than to…Oh my god! Irina! Edward had told me that she was upset that the wolves had killed Laurent, whom she had taken as a mate. The rest of the clan sided with her and that was why they refused to help us in the battle. Maybe they weren't coming to make amends after all. Were they coming to seek revenge?

The old me would have crumpled against the weight of guilt crashing down on me in that moment. My less rational side would argue that the Denalis sought revenge for Laurent's death because of _me_. The wolves killed him to protect _me_. Irina lost the man she loved because of _me_. My more rational side, the side of me I was getting to know a lot better, realized that blaming myself for everything that happened was beyond ridiculous. Laurent was going to kill me. He got what was coming to him. It was his choices that led to his death, not mine. And, the wolves could hardly be blamed for ridding their land of a dangerous predator. Though I no longer felt guilty, I was terrified at the thought that the Denalis would exact their revenge on the wolves. All the fear that had dissipated came back full force. I realized that I had completely dropped the ball. I had let Jacob and the pack down. Here I was trying to play referee, maintain the status quo between mythological creatures, when maybe I actually had to choose a side. Maybe the most selfish thing I had ever done was thinking that I could have my cake and eat it too. My eyes locked with Jacob's as a piercing howl shattered the morning silence.

Jacob looked panicked. "Sam, that's Quil. I'd know his voice anywhere."

Without a word, Sam exploded out of his clothes into a giant black wolf, and ran into the woods towards the howl. Jacob watched Sam go before turning back to me. All of the anger he felt just a moment ago was gone from his eyes. He was disappointed and his voice took on a resigned tone.

"Look Bells, we obviously have a lot to talk about; to figure out. But now is not the time. I love you." He leaned in to kiss my forehead. "We'll talk about all this when I get back. That's a promise."

His words were simple, but they conveyed so much more. He _promised_ that he would return to me, but there was no way to guarantee that he wouldn't be hurt. I had to trust that I would see him again.

He sighed knowingly, as if he could read my mind. "Bella, when are you going to understand that I'm not a child? I thought you would've figured that out by now. I don't go into battle lightly. I know what I'm capable of and the way you worry makes me think that you don't trust that I can handle myself." He looked as if he wanted to say more but he stopped short. He squeezed my hand. "Bells, we'll talk about all this when I get back."

"Seth, you guard her."

"I will Jake, with my life."

Jacob ran towards the woods, pausing briefly to tie his shorts to his ankle before phasing and disappearing from sight. Seth turned to me, anger in his eyes and spoke in a commanding voice. "Bella, you need to wait inside. I'm going to patrol around the property. Don't worry, I'll stay close."

He started to walk away. I called out to him, stopping him in his tracks. His back was turned to me so I couldn't see the look on his face, but his body language told me that he was annoyed.

"Seth, look, we haven't really talked since that…well, since that night. I just hate this awkwardness between us. I was hoping…"

"Bella, just forget about it." He turned towards me. His face bore a mask of determination. "We have more important things to worry about right now. You know, like the vampires you failed to tell us about."

I knew he was right. "Seth, you know I didn't intentionally keep this from Jacob, right? I mean, you of all people should understand. You fought side by side with Edward. You're the only one of the pack who I can honestly say likes the Cullens. These vampires are their friends. I have to trust that it's all just a misunderstanding."

"Yeah, you say that Bella, but why can I see the fear in your eyes? You're terrified. So, maybe these vamps aren't so great after all."

I bowed my head and wrapped my arms around my chest. "I don't know what to say Seth. If anything happens…it'll be my fault."

Another howl pierced the morning silence, only this time it was a howl of sheer agony. Seth and I exchanged frightened glances.

"Bella, stay there. I'm going into the woods to phase so I can find out what's going on."

He took off into the nearby tree cover. Within moments I heard him growling then switch to whimpering. I couldn't just stand on the porch and do nothing. I ran into the woods where Seth had disappeared. I approached him just as he was phasing back into his human form. He slipped into his shorts and practically yelped in surprise when he saw me.

"Geez, Bella, a little privacy please!"

I glared at him, crossing my arms defiantly over my chest. My eyebrow arched menacingly. The irony was not lost on him and he mumbled, "Right, sorry."

"Whatever, forget it. Seth, what's going on? Who's hurt?"

"Look, it doesn't matter. We're staying here until they get back."

"What do you mean it doesn't matter? If we can help we need to go out there and do something! I could call Carlisle or…"

Seth threw his hands up in frustration. "Yeah, and what do you plan on doing to stop Edward and Jacob from fighting?"

My eyes widened and my mouth fell open in shock. I heard Seth mutter, "Shit!"

"Seth, take me to them. I don't know why Edward and Jacob would be fighting at a time like this, but this has got to stop."

"Bella, I can't. I was ordered to guard you. I can't take you into the heat of the fight. Jacob would kill me."

"Yeah, well _Jacob_ ordered you to guard me, Sam didn't. So, you won't be going against a direct order from your Alpha. Come on, Seth! Edward could very well kill Jacob if you don't take me!" I stormed off towards the forest. If he wouldn't take me then I was going in myself. He would have to physically restrain me, because nothing was going to keep me away."

I heard Seth running after me. "Alright, I'll take you. Jesus, Bella. You're gonna be the death of me."

I turned back to him and smiled. "Yeah, I get that a lot."

In that moment, it was uncanny how much Seth resembled a pissed off Jacob. If the situation wasn't so dire I would have smiled at the similarity between them. Instead, I turned around while Seth phased back into a wolf. He nudged my hip with his nose and crouched down letting me climb onto his back.

He took off into the woods while I held on for dear life. I felt terrible for dragging him into this mess. I knew he would catch hell for it, but I also knew he could handle it. He had a choice, not a good one, but he willingly agreed to bring me. He would also willingly face the consequences. That's what I liked about Seth. Despite his age, he had a clear sense of what was right and wrong. I had thought _my_ life was difficult. Sure I was torn between the worlds of vampires and werewolves. But, when it was all said and done, my biggest trial dealt with the affairs of the heart. Seth, Jacob, Sam, they were the ones who had real issues to deal with. They had the life of the wolf thrust upon them. They had no choice in the matter. And they all, each and every one of them rose to the occasion. I needed to learn from their examples and face my life's dramas head on with strength and perseverance.

I had to save Jacob and Edward from each other. If they were fighting, then obviously they were both blind to reason. I still didn't understand why they'd be fighting if there were other vampires to worry about. Was Jake leaving his pack members in danger to deal with his own personal vendetta? I decided that we couldn't get there fast enough and willed Seth's arms and legs to fly like the wind.

Seth slowed his pace and I heard the unmistakable sound of metal being ripped apart followed by the sight of plumes of purple smoke wafting up into the air. I knew from past experience that those were the tell-tale signs of a vampire's demise. Oh my god! Were we too late? I had no idea whose remains those could be and my heart faltered at the thought that they would belong to someone I loved. Seth stepped into the clearing and I saw my worst nightmare played out in the harsh light of day.

In a matter of seconds, my eyes took in the details of the battle. It was as if everything was played out in slow motion. To my left, lying in a crumpled heap was a bloody and beaten wolf. Next to him was a naked and unconscious Embry, with blood dripping down his face. Colin and Brady were standing guard in front of them while Jared manned the fire that was still emitting purple smoke.

To my right, Paul and Sam were snarling and circling around a strawberry blonde vampire. From Edward's description, I could only assume she must be Tanya. Her eyes were empty, devoid of all emotion. It was as if she knew she was going to die and she welcomed it. She looked like a woman with nothing to lose and I knew that meant she was extremely dangerous. It was only then that I noticed that Alice was standing outside the circle trying to get to Tanya. Several feet away I saw the rest of the Cullens running through the trees, sparkling in the morning light, racing to offer reinforcements.

My heart stopped when I looked straight ahead to see my beautiful russet wolf bracing to lunge at a feral looking Edward. I couldn't believe that it had come to this. Neither one would come out of this fight unscathed. And most likely one or both would end up dead. I saw Jacob's hind legs tense, readying himself to spring into battle. I screamed in terror, my voice echoing off of the trees sending chills down my spine.

"Nooooooooooo!"

Time stood still as all eyes focused on me. Seth lurched out from under me causing me to lose my balance and fall off of his back, hitting the ground hard. And then everything went black.

**A/N: So, there it is. Sorry, it was a little shorter than what I've been writing lately. Please review and let me know what you think. **


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do NOT!**

**A/N: This chapter took a lot longer than I had planned…I'm sorry. Thank you to everyone who read & reviewed last chapter. I got the best response ever! I need to thank my Beta Christine as usual for all her help. I'd also like to give a shout out to my lovely anonymous reviewers: V, Aaliyah, KK, Noell, Kat, and 8806. Your kind words are much appreciated. Please enjoy!**

**CHAPTER NINETEEN**

I felt paralyzed, numb. I felt like I was trapped in a dark room with a voice like a distant echo calling to me. As the voice grew louder and stronger in urgency, the darkness slowly dissolved. I could see a faint light burning behind my closed eyelids. The light got brighter as the haze surrounding my head cleared. The new-found clarity focused my attention on a stabbing pain at the back of my head. My eyes fluttered open and I heard gasps, like a collective sigh of relief.

"Bells? Oh thank god. You _cannot_ keep doing this to me!"

I opened my eyes fully and saw Jacob leaning over me. Worry was etched all over his face. He managed a warm, encouraging smile. I tried to get up, but his hand held me down firmly. "No, Bells," he said through gritted teeth. "You hit your head pretty hard there. Carlisle says you shouldn't move too quickly."

"Jake, I'm fine really…wait, Carlisle? What the…?"

And it all came rushing back to me. Vampires headed towards La Push, Jacob and Sam going off to battle. I remembered Seth carrying me through the forest on his back. And most terrifying of all, I remembered seeing that Jacob and Edward were about to come to blows.

"Oh my God! Jake are you okay? Where's Edward? Is he alright?"

Jacob winced when I said Edward's name, as if I had cut him with a knife. I heard a velvety voice to my right reply, "I'm right here, love. I'm okay."

Jacob turned his venomous gaze on Edward and snarled, "She's not your _love_, you fucking leech! I thought we went over this. Or, do I need to put another fist in your face to drive the point home? Please, tell me I do, because that last one felt fantastic!"

"That's enough Jake," Sam's voice rang out strong and authoritative. "Now that we know Bella is fine, we have business to attend to."

Jacob looked at me with concern and sadness in his eyes. I didn't understand why he would look so sad. His shoulders were slumped in defeat. What was going on here? If the fighting had stopped, then surely this whole episode was over, right? Exactly what "business" did they need to attend to? Jacob rose from his crouched position and turned towards Sam who stood, bare-chested in cut-off shorts, facing the Cullens.

Since Jacob was no longer holding me down, I sat up to take in my surroundings. I winced with pain as the blood rushed out of my head. I reached behind my head and felt a large bump, but no blood. I sighed in relief. It could have been a lot worse.

When I finally looked around I was shocked by what I saw. Not five feet to my left was the body of the bloody wolf I had seen when I first arrived with Seth. I saw his sides slowly rising and falling with each labored breath. He was not in good shape. I realized with horror that the bloody wolf was in fact Quil. Embry, newly conscious and partially clothed was crouching next to him looking anxious.

To my right was where all the action was. I gasped when I realized that the wolves and the Cullens were locked in a tense stand-off. Sam stood in the center while Jared, Paul, Leah, Seth, Colin and Brady all remained in wolf-form surrounding Edward and Alice. Japser and Emmett stood immediately outside the circle of wolves looking feral and dangerous. Far outside the circle stood Carlisle looking anxious and worried while Rosalie and Esme comforted a wailing Tanya.

My heart momentarily soared when I realized that all the Cullens were unharmed and accounted for. But, my relief was short-lived as I remembered the plumes of purple smoke and the stench of burnt flesh. At least one vampire had died.

I stood up and grabbed Jacob's arm. "Jake, what's going on?" He was about to answer when Sam interrupted him.

"We don't have time for explanations right now, Bella. Suffice it to say, your bloodsuckers broke the treaty by crossing into our lands and attacking us. The only reason they're not already dead is because we were concerned about you."

Emmett countered, "No, the only reason we're not dead is because you know that this is all bullshit!"

"Take it easy Emmett," Carlisle soothed.

Had I just heard Sam correctly? The Cullens were going to die? He couldn't possibly mean that. "Sam this is ridiculous. The Cullens have helped you before. They're not the enemy. There has to be an explanation. Alice, Edward, _please_ tell them!"

A warning growl escaped Sam's lips as he turned towards me, fire in his eyes. "Bella, this doesn't concern you. You shouldn't even be here. You put yourself and Seth in danger by coming here. I'm sick of you interfering with my mission. I'm glad you're alright, but you need to get the hell out of here and let me do my job!"

I flinched as his words felt like a slap across the face. Jacob grabbed my hand. "Sam, what the hell? Don't talk to Bella that way. This concerns her just as much as the rest of us."

"Jacob, I think you're letting all the sex you're getting rot your brain." Edward growled but Sam completely ignored him. "Her bloodsuckers attacked Quil and Embry. Quil's dying because of them." He pointed towards Alice and Edward, both of whom stood stone-faced in anticipation.

Alice's beautiful voice rang through the air, "We didn't hurt your pups, Sam. Go ahead and ask them."

"I don't need to ask them _leech_." His voice was menacing. I could feel the true power of the Alpha rolling off of his skin. "I saw everything through their eyes!"

I stuttered out of nervousness, "S-Sam, what did you see?"

"Yes, Sam, tell her what you saw, because if you took a moment to really think about it you'd realize that this was all just an unfortunate misunderstanding." Leave it to Edward to have to be the voice of reason.

Sam was about to reply when we heard wheezing breaths coming from Quil. Embry bent down to comfort him, but even I could tell that Quil was running out of time. I thought back to the day when I first met Quil in Jacob's garage. He was so happy and full of life. Although he took to the whole werewolf idea easiest, the lifestyle certainly had changed him. I knew how much he meant to Jacob and that if Jacob could have saved him from this life he would have. My thoughts roamed to poor little Claire, who was already dependent on Quil more than she could even know. I felt my heart breaking for her, for Jacob, and for me because I had grown to love Quil like a brother.

Sam was being unreasonable. Quil was slowly, painfully dying, when he didn't have to. I rushed to his side and stroked the fur on his head. My heart fell immediately when I noticed the warmth had left his skin.

"Carlisle!" My voice was strained. I didn't take my eyes off of Quil until I heard an increase in growling. I looked up to see that Carlisle had approached the line of wolves, attempting to pass them. The wolves snarled in warning as the Cullens growled and hissed in response, moving closer towards Carlisle.

Jacob interjected, "This is ridiculous. Let him pass. He can help Quil."

Jacob stood in front of Sam, his back turned to the stand-off between vampires and wolves. His eyes met mine and I smiled and nodded at him appreciatively.

"What the hell are you saying Jake?"

"What, he was okay to work on me last June, but not for Quil?"

"That was before they attacked us!" Sam was seething.

"Oh for all that is holy…," Edward began, but Jake interrupted him.

"Yeah, like you would know, leech!" Jacob looked from Sam to Carlisle, and then back again before speaking. "Seth, Leah, stand down and let the doctor through."

Jacob looked at Sam, daring him to challenge his decision, but Sam merely clenched his jaw and remained silent. Carlisle moved silently passed the warring wolves and knelt by my side. He took my hand, squeezing it reassuringly and gave me a small smile. He worked over Quil, feeling his body for broken bones, and internal injuries. I left Quil's side and took tentative steps towards the conflict.

"Alice, please, tell me what happened."

I had never seen Alice look so uncomfortable in my life. She was flying blind around the werewolves, with no idea what her future held. When you can live forever, the thought of dying must be intensified exponentially. It was a paradox really. Those who can't die fear death more than anyone else.

"Oh Bella, it's not what you think. Tanya, Kate and Irina were staying in Seattle. They decided to run down for their visit. Everything was fine until I saw Irina make the decision to go to La Push and then she disappeared."

Tanya took up the story where Alice left off. Her voice was weak and hollow. "Kate and I tried to stop her. She saw those pups over there and she just went ballistic. She never got over Laurent's death. We thought she was ready to finally move on. We all knew that Laurent was killed for attempting to murder Edward's Bella. We don't kill humans. Laurent got what he deserved. But, Irina just refused to accept that. She attacked them so quickly we didn't have a chance to stop her. I was able to pull Irina off of the unconscious one before she could bite him. That's when he joined in." Tanya raised her arm and pointed towards Embry.

"Kate hit him, knocking him against a tree. You know her power," she said looking at the Cullens. "She wasn't trying to hurt him. She was just trying to protect our sister the only way she knew how. Then…then…" Tanya began dry-sobbing and shaking violently in Rosalie's arms. Esme cooed to her, trying to soothe her.

Alice continued the story, as Tanya was clearly incapable. "Edward was with me when I had the vision, so he followed me as I ran towards the border. We both knew our friends were in danger, but we didn't want the wolves getting hurt either. It was an impossible choice to make, but there was not time. If we didn't act when we did, Quil would already be dead and probably Embry too. We did what we had to do."

Sam clicked his tongue and Jared and Paul simply growled. Alice returned their growls with a glare that could turn their hearts to ice.

"Anyway," Alice continued hurriedly. "By the time I showed up, Irina was already ashes and Kate was being torn apart. I struggled with Tanya, and pulled her away from Kate and the wolves. That's when Jacob showed up and faced off with Edward. I couldn't save Kate. She was already burning in agony. But, I did my best to save Tanya and avoid hurting the wolves. And then you showed up Bella. That's pretty much it."

Sam's look was fierce. "Are you kidding me? We're just supposed to believe that you came to save your friends and not…what the hell am I saying? It doesn't matter leech. You trespassed into our territory. I'm willing to let the rest of you go, seeing as how the doctor has helped us in the past. But, these three," he pointed to Edward, Alice, and Tanya. "They have to die."

_They have to die?_ My heart shattered into tiny pieces. I didn't want to lose Alice and Edward. Not like this. Not when they were trying to help their loved ones. I started to shake and my breathing came in sharp gasps. I was having a panic attack. _So much for me being strong._

"No."

It was a simple word, a strong word. My jaw dropped. That word was the last thing I expected to come from Jacob's lips. He took a step towards Sam who looked as confused and dumbfounded as everyone else in that clearing.

Sam growled, "What do you mean, no?"

"I mean, we're not doing this. We're not fighting to the death over this."

Sam stepped up to Jacob so that their faces were mere inches apart. It surprised me, though it probably shouldn't have, that Sam had to look up into Jacob's eyes.

"This is a _direct_ order Jacob. _They_ broke the treaty and now they're going to suffer the consequences. I thought you of all people would be happy to follow through, not that you have a choice. Now turn around and get in formation."

Sam's voice was filled with undeniable authority. Even I felt compelled to follow his orders, the strength of his words having the ability to bend the will. I shook my head in an attempt to physically clear my mind. I looked at Sam with new-found wonder and awe. It was clear in that moment why he was Alpha. His word was law. And all hope left me.

Jacob's body turned abruptly and awkwardly towards the Cullens and the wolves standing guard in front of them. His jaw was stiff and his fists were clenched. He looked like a marionette, his movements halting with Sam as the puppeteer.

When I woke up this morning, I couldn't imagine the nightmare I would be witnessing this day. The vampires and werewolves that I loved were about to be locked in a senseless fight to the death. They were too evenly matched. I should know. I had seen their strengths and weaknesses first-hand. Why didn't anyone else see that? If Jacob followed Sam's orders, which of course he would, I would most likely lose him. I knew he would be in the center of it all, trying to help out his pack, risking his life for theirs. But, he would die. I knew in my heart that it was true the moment the thought entered my mind. They all would die; vampires and wolves alike. And I would wish for the welcoming arms of death.

The tension in the air was thick and palpable. I could swear the whole group could hear the frenzied beating of my heart. I stood there, frozen, waiting for the first blow to find its target. I closed my eyes. I had never considered myself a religious person, but at that moment I prayed. I prayed that something or someone would intervene, that Sam would see some sense and put an end to this madness. The silence was interminable though only seconds had passed since Sam gave his last order. I opened my eyes, shocked to see that Jacob had yet to move back into formation.

All eyes were on Jacob where he stood. Most were filled with anticipation, but Edward's eyes were suddenly full of confusion. Edward stared intently at Jacob with a look of disbelief on his face. As though he couldn't understand why Jacob could be thinking the way he was. Then I saw Jacob begin to vibrate. He was seconds away from phasing, from following orders and effectively ending my existence as I knew it. Only…he didn't.

"No," Jacob yelled, this time with more force and conviction. He spun around and faced Sam. "No, I'm not doing this Sam."

"This is an _order_ Jacob!" Sam was practically screaming. Jacob's body started to twitch, forcing him back towards the stand-off. It was as if he was fighting an invisible force. And then he broke through the invisible barrier and stepped right in front of Sam's face.

"I don't think I'm following your orders any more. They broke the treaty, yes. But we both know that they didn't lay a hand on Quil or Embry. The ones who did are already smoke and ashes. If it weren't for them, Quil would probably already be dead. And the more we sit here and argue, the more likely it is that Quil _will_ die."

Jacob looked over to Carlisle who was still examining Quil. "Well, Doc, is he going to be okay?"

Carlisle was thoughtful. "I can help him, but I need my supplies. I need to get him to our house. Time is of the essence." His voice trailed off letting the implications of his words settle over us. Quil had a chance, but he needed help _now_.

Jacob turned his gaze back to Sam, his eyes full of fire and fury. "Quil needs help Sam. And he's not going to get it if we fight them. As a pack, our priority is to protect our people and our members. We're already down two, and Colin and Brady haven't even been tested yet…"

Sam cut Jacob off, seething with anger. "Don't tell me what our priorities are Jake. I've carried the responsibility for this pack on my shoulders for years now. I'm thinking about our people. If we don't get rid of this threat once and for all, then our people will be at risk indefinitely. This needs to end, _now_!"

"Only it won't end," Jacob interjected. I felt as though my eyes were playing tricks on me because with every word he spoke, Jacob seemed to grow in stature, while Sam shrank. Jacob's voice felt stronger, more commanding. Sam took a step back, shock evident on his face. Maybe I wasn't crazy. Maybe he saw it too.

"We're dealing with experienced vampires here who happen to have right on their side. If we attack now, for this…this…misunderstanding, then we'd be wasting the precious lives of the pack. These aren't wild and unorganized newborns. They've got abilities and training that we've seen first-hand. We'd take them out, I have no doubt. But, at what cost? How many of us need to die to get rid of them? And when there's no one left, who will protect our people then? What happens when vampires who drink human blood come to town? Who's going to fight them? Who's going to protect Emily, Kim...?"

"This is ridiculous Jacob. How can you have so little faith in us? We'll annihilate them."

"Maybe, but I'm not willing to risk our lives over this. If this is what it means to be part of this pack, then I'm out."

"So, what you're just abandoning your pack, your duty, your people when we need you the most?"

Jake was ready to respond when we were all distracted by two wolves leaving the line and going into the nearby tree cover. Seth and Leah walked back out, clothed, and stood on either side of an astonished Jacob. Leah was first to speak.

"He's not alone Sam. Seth and I are with him."

Sam laughed bitterly. "You hate the Cullens more than any of us Leah. You can't leave your pack for Jacob. I won't allow it."

"I'm not leaving for Jacob. I'm leaving because he's right. I'd rather live to fight another day. And, I don't care what you will or will not allow Sam. I've had enough of living based on your whims. You're not my Alpha anymore. You no longer have _any_ power over me. I'm done, and Seth goes where I go."

Somehow, the tide had turned. It was obvious to everyone in that clearing that Jacob was indeed Ephraim Black's grandson, the true tribal leader. Jacob had once told me that Sam had offered to step down as Alpha seeing as how it rightfully belonged to Jacob. But, Jacob had refused. He was young, and frankly I didn't think he wanted the responsibility. But, to see Jacob assert himself and take the role of Alpha before my very eyes, well that was a thing of beauty.

Sam was at a loss for words for what I could only imagine he thought was a betrayal of trust. If Jacob took over the role of Alpha, where did that leave him? He looked at Jacob, anger burning through his eyes.

"So, are we going to fight this out Jacob? You know, just because you want to be Alpha, doesn't mean you'll have a pack to lead. What's an Alpha without a pack?"

"I'm not going to fight you Sam. It's enough that I've stated my case and now I can't be bent to your will. You know it would be suicide to go after the Cullens without us." He gestured to himself and Leah and Seth standing behind him.

"And without me," Embry chimed in. "Look, I'm sorry Sam, but Jacob's right on this one."

Sam looked utterly defeated. "You've made a huge mistake here, Jacob. You've torn our family apart. And for what, a bunch of bloodsuckers? Your father will be so disappointed."

Jacob approached Sam, "Look, it doesn't have to be like this. We can…" Jacob didn't get to finish his sentence because Sam turned his back on him and walked back into the forest, his head held tall. Jared and Paul quickly followed suit ignoring Jacob's presence as they brushed past him. Colin and Brady hesitated, clearly unsure of what to do. They were young, and Sam was the only leader they had known. So, they followed after Sam into the forest.

Jacob sighed in resignation before turning towards the Cullens. "Look, this isn't over. We need to discuss this treaty of ours. Maybe we can arrange something…I don't know. Now's not the time though. Leah, Seth, and Embry will follow you to your place so you can take care of Quil. I'll be there as soon as I get Bella home."

He turned to Leah and asked, "Will you be okay there without me? I know how you feel about the lee…the Cullens. I don't need you phasing and causing all hell to break loose. This day has been eventful enough."

Leah rolled her eyes. "Jake, I think I can manage. We'll see you there. Just get Bella home safely." She led Seth and Embry after Carlisle who followed Jasper and Emmett carrying a still unconscious Quil.

Jacob turned his attention to Tanya next. "I know what happened here isn't exactly your fault. And, you lost people you loved in the bargain. But know this; we were just doing our job. I promise you, if you _ever_ cross into our territory again, we will kill you. Now, I suggest you leave before I change my mind."

"Come on Tanya, we'll take you home." Rosalie gathered a shaking Tanya in her arms and ran out of the forest followed closely by Esme.

Jacob and I were left in the clearing, Edward and Alice standing off to the side with looks of astonishment on their faces. They simultaneously moved towards me when Jacob put up his hands to stop them.

"Yeah, I don't think so. I think my patience has been tested enough for one day. You're still in my territory, so get out. I'm taking Bella home _now_. So just leave us…_please_."

Alice quickly nodded her assent, pulling anxiously on Edward's arm. His eyes met mine, and they were filled with emotion. I smiled weakly as Alice succeeded in dragging him along after her.

We were finally alone. Jacob looked shrunken and small in comparison to the majesty he commanded when confronting Sam. He had looked like a leader, a man most would follow, both out of respect and out of love. But, now he just looked like a lost soul with far too many burdens to carry on his shoulders. He took my hand in his and placed it over his heart.

"Bells, I don't know what I would've done if I lost you today. When Seth dropped you…well, let's just say I was pretty close to tearing his head off." He paused, wrapping his arms around my waist. "How's your head Bells? You took a pretty nasty fall."

"I'm fine Jake. God, if I could go one day without passing out or getting knocked out it would be a bloody miracle!" I felt gingerly along the back of my head and found that my bump had grown in size. I winced as I touched the tender skin. "Luckily, I seem to have a pretty hard head."

"Yeah, I've noticed. Especially when you're told to stay put. I'm starting to think you have a twisted need to be the center of attention."

I ignored his comment. "Jake, take it easy on Seth. He only brought me because I threatened to come after you on my own. I didn't give him much of a choice."

"Oh, I believe you. I just don't know why you suddenly decided you needed to join the fray." He brushed my hair behind my ears and smiled at me.

"Seth told me that you and Edward were about to fight. I don't think I need to tell you how frightening a thought that was."

Jacob nodded thoughtfully and held me close, my head resting on his chest. "Jake, what did you mean by what you said earlier? What happened between you and Edward?"

He hugged me tighter and sighed. "Hmm, I don't know if you really want to hear the answer to that."

I stepped back and freed myself from his embrace. I crossed my hands over my chest and tapped my foot, trying my best to look menacing. "Tell me, Jake!"

He held his hands up in mock surrender, laughing. "Okay, okay. I punched the jackass in the face so hard that he flew back into a tree. And Bella, it felt great!"

"You hit him?" I asked, incredulous.

"Bells, he had it coming! When Seth dropped you, Edward was about to run towards you like he was still your knight in shining armor. We were about to throw down because Quil and Embry were attacked by leeches that he and the fortune teller were protecting. We didn't know what was really going on because both Quil and Embry were unconscious at that point. For that, and several other reasons I had to put him in his place. I just gave him a little reminder of where he stood."

"But, why did you have to hit him?"

"Why? A lot of reasons, mainly because I wanted to. Call me immature if you want. But, I needed that. It would hurt you if I killed him, so I settled for the next best thing. Look, he knows he was overstepping his bounds, so it's not like it would've escalated from there."

"Well, geez Jake, next time you two should save yourselves the trouble and just pee on me!"

He flinched at my tone. "Bells, I'm sorry. Please don't be mad. Let me just get you home and you can yell at me later, alright?"

I relaxed my arms and sighed in defeat. "You're not sorry Jake. Not really. Luckily, I'm not really in the mood to be mad at you. And it's not like you really hurt him anyway. In the grand scheme of things, you acting like an immature idiot is nothing compared to the thought of losing you. I love you, the good and the bad." I walked back into his open arms. "Take me home, Jake."

It was late in the afternoon when Jake dropped me off at home promising that he'd be by later. He needed to check on Quil and Embry and see how Seth and Leah were faring at the Cullens.

I was surprised to find the house empty. I headed towards the stairs, my foot on the first step when the phone rang. I ran back into the kitchen to answer it.

"Hello?"

_Hey Bells._

"Oh, hi Dad. When are you coming home?"

_That's what I was calling about. I heard that your party got cancelled. Billy called saying that a lot of Jake's friends had come down with the flu. Since the party wasn't happening I decided to pick up an extra shift at the station. So, I won't be home tonight._

"Oh, okay I guess I'll see you in the morning?"

_Sure thing. Oh, I almost forgot. How was the concert?_

"Concert?"

_The one Jake took you to last night in Seattle. That's why you didn't come home last night, right?_

"Oh, yeah…um it was great. Well I better get something to eat. I'll talk to you later Dad."

_Bye Bells._

I hung up the receiver, lost in thought. I had wondered why Charlie was so cool about me not coming home all night. I admit that I was kind of surprised that Jacob wasn't nervous about it either. Of course, all those worries had slipped my mind the moment Jacob's hands touched my skin. His touch could practically make me forget everything. Hmm, that combined with my tendency to get knocked out probably wasn't such a good thing. I might want to think about getting a brain scan one of these days.

I spent the rest of the afternoon bumming around the house. I showered and dressed in some short shorts and a flimsy tank top. It wasn't often that I had the whole house to myself these days. I thought I'd take advantage of the privacy by wearing as little as possible. I made myself a sandwich for dinner and curled up on the couch to watch TV waiting for Jacob to come back.

I awoke to the sensation of movement. I opened my eyes slightly and noticed that the house was dark. How long had I been asleep? I was wrapped in a warm embrace and knew that I was back in My Jacob's arms. He was carrying me up to my bedroom. I snuggled against his chest and closed my eyes, enjoying the comfort he always provided. He set me down on my bed and that's when I shot straight up, instantly wide awake.

"Damn it," he muttered. "I'm sorry I woke you Bells. Go back to sleep."

"No, Jake, I shouldn't have been sleeping at all. How's Quil? Is he going to be okay?"

He smiled reassuringly and all the tension left my body. He sat at the head of the bed, his long legs stretched out in front of him. He opened his arms to me and I lay next to him, his warmth enveloping me.

"First of all, you need your sleep. We've had a pretty stressful day, and it's not like we had much sleep _last_ night."

I blushed helplessly and he continued on. "Quil's going to be fine. He got pretty messed up like I did with the newborns. About two-thirds of his bones were broken. The hardest thing was getting him conscious so we could help him phase back to start healing. You should have heard the yelling and screaming once he phased back. He put my dirty mouth to shame."

"Oh, that sounds horrible."

"Not really. At least all the hollering and yelling meant he was alive." He squeezed me tighter.

"Anyway, I've been with Quil all day. He's in good spirits though he's not too happy about being cooped up at the Cullens. But, Carlisle says that he can go home tomorrow and finish his healing there. Leah and Seth are gonna take turns staying with him throughout the night."

"I'm so glad he's okay. Quil means a lot to me too, you know. The thought of him lying on that forest floor, so still and lifeless…well, it's almost too much to bear."

"I know. I was scared too."

We both sat in silence for a moment, thinking about what we could have lost that day. I looked over at my nightstand and saw that it was ten o'clock. I was tired. I could only imagine how exhausted Jacob must be.

"Jake, you should get some sleep. You look exhausted. Are you going to stay with me?"

"Yeah, I'm not leaving you. But, I'm not really tired yet. You sleep, I'll hold you."

He kissed the top of my head as I threw my leg over his waist. I felt so comfortable and at ease. But, I noticed that Jacob was still stiff and very much awake. I sat up and saw that Jacob was staring up at the ceiling, lost in thought.

"Hey, what's going on in that beautiful head of yours?"

"I've just been wondering if I did the right thing today."

My mouth fell open in shock. Jacob standing up to Sam and claiming his Alpha role was the bravest thing he had ever done. And considering all the brave things he's done in the past, that was saying something. I didn't understand why he would doubt his decision now.

"It's just, I know saving the Cullens was right. As much as I can't stand them, it wasn't right to just execute them. I did it to save the lives of my brothers. But, I'd be lying if I said I didn't do it for you too. I know how much they mean to you and how it would hurt you if anything happened to them. I did right by you. I'm just questioning whether or not I did right by my people."

"Jake, you said yourself that if you would have fought, lives on both sides would have been lost to an enemy that really isn't a threat." I cupped his cheek in my hand and held his gaze. "You made sure that your people wouldn't be left unprotected. You did a good thing Jake. Sam will see that…eventually."

He sighed. "Yeah, I just don't know. Sam's been a great leader. And he's carried that responsibility with strength and wisdom. I've learned so much from him. I've learned that being Alpha is like being a general. And a general needs to make tough decisions sometimes, decisions that not everyone will like, because they're for the good of the people. My job as a protector is to protect my tribe. I can't be ruled by my own wants and desires. I can't make decisions based on my heart…"

"Jake, stop it right there. You're not some mindless automaton! You're big, unyielding heart is the strongest, best quality about you. You did the right thing today. The pack will come around. They have to. Do you understand?"

Though his face was filled with surprise at my peppy outburst, his eyes were smiling. "Yep, I understand everything…except for what an automaton is."

He smirked and I playfully punched him in the stomach. "Alright slugger, get some rest. I love you."

"I love you, Jake."

I lay back against his chest while he stroked my back soothingly. I fell asleep, warm and content in his strong arms.

I woke up hours later feeling inexplicably…_turned on_. My very core was on fire and my center was tensed and on the brink of a mind-blowing release. I sucked in a breath as I realized a hot tongue was slowly, reverently licking and caressing my most intimate folds. I looked down and saw a bona fide sex-god between my thighs.

"Jake…I…ugh!" I couldn't formulate words because right as I spoke, Jacob's long fingers entered me while he sucked hard on my bundle of nerves sending me into sweet oblivion.

I slowly came down from my high as Jacob crawled up my body, leaning in to kiss me passionately. I glared at my clock and the time said it was four in the morning. I looked into Jake's eyes and said, "Well, good morning to you too!"

He laughed his hearty, warm laugh and wrapped an arm under my leg bringing it to rest around his waist. "I'm sorry Bells. I didn't mean to attack you in your sleep. I just couldn't sleep and your dreams were driving me crazy. I wanted to make you feel good. I love you so much. I got carried away with how much I need you. I…"

I pressed my hands to his face, my thumbs brushing against his smooth lips. "Shh, Jake. Don't apologize. That was a wonderful way to wake up. In fact, you've kind of convinced me that that's the _only_ way to wake up. Don't be sorry for needing me. I need you too."

I stroked his hard member to show him just how much I needed him at that moment. He quickly removed his shorts leaving his beautiful body bare. The moonlight shone through my bedroom window casting a soft glow on his skin. He had removed my shorts and underwear when I was asleep so my shirt was the only barrier between us. His hands moved to the hem of my shirt. I sat up with my arms raised as he lifted it off of me. He pressed his naked body to mine and my body responded immediately, my arousal pooling between my legs.

His hands traveled behind me and up my back, resting on the backs of my shoulders. My legs wrapped around his waist, my ankles locked over his hard ass. He kissed me deep, with ferocity.He groaned when our tongues met. We kissed as he positioned himself at my waiting entrance. He pulled away slightly and looked me in the eyes whispering, "I love you Bella."

He drove into me slowly, but firmly. He buried himself deep inside of me, my body stretching to accommodate him. I marveled at the heat of his skin on mine. It was hotter than I ever remembered it being. That's when I realized he had forgotten to use a condom. It was just us, skin on skin. Since I had been on the pill for over a month I refused to panic. It felt good to know that we didn't need any more barriers between us. The prospect of future acts of spontaneity was thrilling. He pulled me closer as he thrust in deeper, as if he too realized that there was no space between us; as if we could melt into each other.

Our love making was slow and sensuous. His pelvis brushed against my sensitive mound as he moved in and out of me, bringing me to the brink numerous times. But, every time, as I was about to fall over the edge, he'd stop to kiss me, touch me, to whisper sweet nothings in my ear and start all over again, prolonging the build up of tension in my loins.

It was the most pleasurable torture I had ever experienced. I soon realized that this wasn't about lust, or passion. That night was about love and finding comfort in each other. It made me so happy to know that I served so many roles for Jacob. I was his friend, his lover, his confidante. But I was also the person he could come to when he needed comforting. I was his everything.

My hands roamed his back and shoulders until I buried them in his hair, damp with his sweat. I pulled his lips to mine and kissed him more urgently than before, thrusting my hips forcefully against his. He grunted as he picked up the pace, pushing in and out of me in his own sexy ballet. After several more minutes of moaning and panting he finally brought me over the edge into the best orgasm I'd ever had. He followed shortly after reciting my name over and over again like it was a sacred prayer.

He was spent. His body collapsed down on me and he kissed me gently on my lips, my chin, and my breasts.

"Bells, I love you so much."

He softened inside of me and pulled out resting his body next to mine, his head cradled between my breasts. I nearly groaned at the loss of him filling me. He smiled back, his eyes heavy with sleep. Within minutes I heard his deep breaths indicating that sleep had finally claimed him.

Now I was the one who couldn't sleep. I wrapped my arms around Jacob's neck, my hands holding his head to my chest. I found myself staring up at the ceiling, much like Jacob was earlier in the evening. I looked at Jacob in my arms and noticed his beautiful face carried more worries than it had before. His shoulders seemed burdened with cares beyond his years. Becoming a werewolf had undoubtedly changed him, on more than just the physical level. At first, it was rare when his special smile would shine through the embittered face of the protector he had become. Our love had changed things. His smile was a prominent fixture on his vibrant face.

But, I worried about what being the Alpha would mean to him, to us. He didn't take the responsibility because he wanted it, because he craved the power. He did it because it was necessary, because it was the right thing to do. I had no doubt that he would be a great leader. But, at what cost? Would I lose the warm, loving, human part of Jacob?

_Vampires._

Somehow it always came back to that word. It constantly evolved in terms of its meaning to my life. It used to evoke fear, then love. Now, I wasn't sure anymore. To Jacob, vampires meant obligation, duty. It meant being stripped of choice, trapped in the body of a wolf. If the Cullens weren't here, Jacob wouldn't even be a wolf.

I thought about my future with Jacob. We knew we wanted children, though we didn't talk about it much. Did I really want my children thrust into a war with vampires? No mother would want that. But, it was inevitable, _if_ I continued my association with the Cullens. It was something I would have to consider carefully. Which family was more important to me, the Cullens or my own? I refused to think about it anymore that night. That night was about holding the man I loved in my arms as he dreamed his troubles away.

**A/N: So, I hope you enjoyed it. It's pretty long so hopefully that makes up for the long wait. I thrive off of reviews, and I respond to each and every one of them. Let me know what you think. I can't wait to hear from you. You guys are the best. ******


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do NOT!!!**

**A/N: So, here's a really long chapter to reward you all for your patience. Once again, I'd like to extend a shout-out to my wonderful anonymous reviewers, Tara & V. Thank you both so much. Also, special thanks to my beta Christine and to everyone who has put me on story alert and favorite story lists. Most importantly, I'd like to offer a special thanks to EVERYONE who read and reviewed the last chapter. I've got the best reviewers ever. **

**CHAPTER TWENTY**

Wet, open-mouthed kisses were placed all along my shoulders and down my arm. I sighed contentedly as a warm hand traced a familiar trail down my neck, between my breasts and rested flat on my stomach. I moaned as I opened my eyes to find Jacob lying next to me, his head propped up on his arm, smiling sweetly. He chuckled as he leaned in for a kiss.

"Shh, Bells, your Dad's in the next room."

"Oh…WHAT?"

Jacob's large hand immediately clamped down over my mouth. I was so surprised to find out that Charlie was home that I neglected to keep my voice down. I stared wide-eyed at an amused looking Jacob. When he knew I understood the need to be quiet, he slowly removed his hand from my mouth.

I whispered, "What do you mean he's here? What time is it anyway?"

Jacob continued smiling at me while he lay back on the bed, his head resting on his folded arms. "Charlie came home around six in the morning. He came in to check on you then crashed. He's been out like a light ever since." I stared at him, amazed at his composure. "Oh, and it's a little after nine, just so you know," he added.

"Wait, rewind a bit. Charlie checked on me? Where the hell were you?"

He laughed, remembering the scene fondly. "Yeah, that was a close call. I heard him at the last second. I threw the blanket over you and dropped to the floor on the other side of the bed. He popped his head in for a second and then left. We're good. There's nothing to worry about."

I sighed in relief and snuggled next to Jacob. I was pretty confident that Charlie knew what was going on between us. If he didn't, the man was living in some serious denial. Either way, the last thing I needed was for him to catch us, naked in my bed.

I turned on my side resting my head on Jacob's chest, my hand tracing shapes along his toned, naked stomach. "Why did you let me sleep in so late? I feel like I've lost precious hours with you." I pouted trying to look sexy. "We both have to work tomorrow and I won't get a chance to see you as often as I'd like."

"Aww, Bells, I'm sorry. You just looked so peaceful. Besides, you had two straight nights of having all of me. Are you insatiable or what?"

I frowned playfully. "Hmm, funny I thought I was. But, you're such an ass that I think I've lost my appetite." I moved to get out of bed but he grabbed me, holding me tightly and kissed me passionately.

"I was just teasing Bells. Do you forgive me?"

"I was just teasing too, Jake. Sensitive much?"

We lay there in comfortable silence for several minutes, just touching and holding each other. Jacob was first to break the silence. "Last night was pretty incredible, huh? Though I guess it really was more like this morning. I mean, I didn't really mean to wake you up like that, but you were so…responsive…and then…"

I was smiling to myself as he re-capped the events from our early morning escapades. He sounded nervous and a bit sheepish about his behavior. I waited a few beats for him to continue. When he didn't', I looked up at him, confusion written all over my face. Jacob's body had gone stiff and if his russet-colored skin could look pale, then he looked positively ghostly.

"Jake, what is it?"

He shot up out of bed searching frantically on the floor for his discarded shorts. Watching him search while naked would have been comical if it weren't for the blatant look of fear in his eyes. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a foil packet. Understanding washed over me as he started hyperventilating.

"Crap, crap, crap, CRAP!"

"Jake, keep it down. It's okay…"

"Okay?" He lowered his voice to a hoarse whisper. "How can it be okay, Bells? We didn't use any protection. Scratch that, _I_ didn't because I'm such a horny bastard I couldn't even wait until you were awake before starting with you. Shit! This is _not_ good. We can't have a kid. Your dad's going to kill me…"

I let him continue because the panic in his eyes was quite entertaining. I couldn't hold back anymore and started laughing uncontrollably. Jacob looked at me like I had sprung wings.

"What the hell is so damn funny?"

"Jake, you're panicking for no reason. I've been on the pill for a while now. The condoms were just sort of an added protection. Either way, you do know that it's not like condoms or the pill are really a hundred percent effective, right? There's only one thing that is…"

"What is it? I'll do anything."

"Well, that would require us to _not_ have sex." I smirked as his face dropped in dismay.

"Huh?"

I laughed as I pulled on his arm, bringing him back down on the bed next to me. He dropped his shorts back on the floor absent-mindedly. "Jake, not to preach to you or anything but, abstinence is the only _guaranteed_ way to avoid getting pregnant. Is that what you want?"

Silence.

"Hmm, I didn't think so. Relax Jake. We'll be fine. Besides, I thought you wanted to have kids."

"I did…I do, of course I do. I just figured we'd be college graduates and, you know, adults, before it happened. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak out on you like that. It's just that I didn't like the idea that I was so careless with you. I…"

"Jake, you weren't careless. We're partners here. I could have told you to stop. But, I didn't want to. In fact, I can't imagine ever wanting to stop when it comes to you."

I caressed his cheek with my hand. He leaned in, licking my bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth. I moaned at the sensation and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down on top of me. He pulled the sheet down off of my body and kneaded my exposed breasts. My back arched up pushing my chest into his. We were breathless as our kisses became more heated.

"Wait…wait, Bells. We've got to stop."

I groaned in frustration. "Why?"

"Because, in case you've forgotten, Charlie's still in the next room."

"Right."

Jacob lay down next to me pulling the sheet back up to cover me. We both needed a moment to cool down and catch our breaths. It amazed me how much I wanted him. Sure, he was my best friend. He was also gorgeous with an awesome body and fun-loving personality. Any girl would want to be with him. But, even though I was with him all the time, I couldn't seem to get enough. It was a feeling I knew would last a lifetime.

"Jake, about yesterday…I just wanted to say that I was wrong and that I'm sorry."

"What are you talking about?"

"I didn't tell you about the Denali clan coming to visit and it almost ended in tragedy for the pack. What happened to Quil was my fault. I should have told you about them as soon as I knew instead of thinking that it wasn't important. I was stupid. You had every right to be angry with me. _Any_ vampire that comes here is your business. I feel like I was disloyal to you because, let's face it, I should've known better."

"Bells, no…are you kidding me? What's done is done. I understand why you didn't tell me. You can't blame yourself for anything that happened. I think we're on the same page now. There's nothing to forgive. I don't see anything you did as being disloyal to me."

"Just because you don't see it that way, doesn't make it any less true."

"Bells…"

"Jake, I've been thinking about our future."

Though confused by the change in direction our conversation was taking, he stroked my arm and smiled at me. "Yeah, what about it?"

I took a deep breath, my voice taking on a serious tone. "Well, you guys are all wolves because of the Cullens, right?"

"Well, technically, I guess. But, we were destined to be wolves anyway. It's in our blood."

"I know, but I was thinking that if the Cullens left, it they stayed away from me then maybe you and the rest of the pack could go back to living a normal life. Think about it. No vampires means there wouldn't be a need to phase. Once you stop phasing, you can go back to the way things were. I mean, when we have kids, I don't want them to become wolves and have to fight vampires. I'd rather they didn't know werewolves or vampires existed. I want to spare them from that. So, I've been thinking that I'm going to tell the Cullens to leave for good."

I thought it would have been harder to say it out loud. I loved the Cullens. I still loved Edward, and Alice was my best friend next to Jacob. The rest had been like my family. I would love to live in a world where werewolves and vampires could coexist, but it just wasn't possible. I had been lucky for too long and it looked like my luck had finally run out. True happiness wasn't easy to come by. It required hard work and sacrifice. Jacob meant more to me than anyone. I was willing to sacrifice my love for the Cullens for him. They would understand. They'd have to.

I expected Jacob to jump off the bed and dance a happy dance. Instead he was silent and contemplative. He looked at me and said, "You don't mean that Bella."

Huh? Not the reaction I was expecting. My blood began to boil. I was seething in anger. I wrapped the sheet around my body and got up out of bed. I glared at Jacob, trying to remember to keep my voice down. In the loudest whisper I could manage, I said, "You know what, Jake? I'm sick of the men in my life trying to tell me what I mean and what I don't mean. I've thought a lot about this and I'll be damned if you're going to doubt me."

"Whoa there Bells. Before you rip my balls off, let me rephrase that, please?" He got out of bed and stood in front of me, naked and vulnerable. He held my arms in his warm grasp. As angry as I was, it never ceased to amaze me how he could stand in front of me, in all his naked glory, and be completely comfortable.

_Focus, Bella. You're mad right now. Right._

"Bells, the fact that you're willing to give up the Cullens, for _me_…well I can't tell you how much that means to me. You don't know how long I've wished you would say that. And I do believe you mean it. I know you'll follow through. You're pretty stubborn that way. I just think that one day you'll regret it, and I don't want you to resent me for having to give up such an important part of your life."

His eyes were soft and full of love. I stammered, not really knowing how to respond.

"But, Jake, I can't have it all." I bowed my head in defeat, closing my eyes to block out the beautiful image of my naked boyfriend standing in front of me. I felt his hand lift my chin so that I could look into his eyes.

"No, you can't. Not always. But, I'm willing to deal with the Cullens in my life if it makes you happy."

"But Jake, what about our kids? I don't want my children fighting against vampires. I don't think I could handle that."

"Bells, come here."

He walked me to the bed and sat down, pulling me onto his lap. His arms encircled my waist as I threw my own around his neck.

"First of all, we don't have any kids. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. But, there's no point in excluding people from your life for a reason that doesn't exist yet. They're an important part of your life. You love them like family. I'd be a pretty shitty person if I made you give them up."

"You're not _making_ me do anything. I…"

"Bells, stop! You'd give them up for me, and that makes me happy. But, I'm telling you that you don't have to. You can have them in your life as long as you want."

"Jake, I just want you to know how much I love you, that I'd do _anything_ for you."

"I already know that, honey." He kissed me softly on the lips and brushed my hair back behind my ears. "Look, I was up all night thinking a lot about the Cullens. As much as it kills me to admit it, I think they can help us, the pack I mean."

"How?"

"We've fought together before, because of you. You're the one person who can bring us together. Because of you, people who were meant to destroy each other were able to work together to annihilate a mutual threat. Bells, we can't forget about the Volturi. We don't talk about it much, but I know it's always in the back of your mind. I'm afraid, Bells. I'm afraid that I won't be enough to protect you. Now, that I've broken away from Sam, I need all the help I can get. I'm going to ask the Cullens to form a pact, an alliance or something, so that we can work together. It's a golden opportunity, and I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't take it."

I was speechless. Jacob was willing to sacrifice his own desires to protect me, _again_. He wanted the Cullens gone, yet he was willing to put up with them, to work with them side by side, to protect me. I suddenly realized that it was too much to ask of one person. I felt like I was taking advantage of his love, of his devotion to me.

"Jake, you can't…I won't let you do this for me. I'm not…"

"If you're about to say you're not worth it, then you can just shut it. Bells, the Volturi are a threat to my whole existence. They're after you. And if anything happened to you because of them, I don't know how I'd live. But, honey these bloodsuckers are a threat to my people too. If they got wind of the fact that we were werewolves, made for the sole purpose of destroying them, we'd be doomed. I'm Alpha now, remember? I'm thinking about everyone here. If I form an alliance with the Cullens, then I have a better chance of protecting you _and_ my people. It's the only thing that makes sense."

I looked at Jacob's beautiful face. His dark hair was tucked behind his ears showcasing the sharp angles of his face. When did this boy become such a wonderful man?

"Jake, I love you. You never cease to amaze me with how incredible you are. Are you sure about this?"

"More than anything. Besides, the Cullens are the ones who brought the Volturi into your life. It's only right that they save you from them."

He held me close and kissed me. I felt his arousal twitch beneath me and we smiled against each other's lips. "Uh, I think we better get dressed before we get carried away. Come on, I'll make you some breakfast."

We got dressed and headed downstairs. Luckily, Jacob had left a change of clothes in my room for occasions like we ate, we sat around the kitchen table talking. Jacob laid out his plans for the alliance with the Cullens and I was amazed at how well thought out they were. He had thought of everything. His decision to work with the Cullens made me so happy. Not so much because I could keep them in my life, but more because it took great strength and maturity for him to recognize the need and then ask for help. Werewolves working side by side with vampires was unprecedented. It just proved what I had learned long ago, that Jacob was one in a million.

A little after ten in the morning, Jacob decided that he needed to head towards the Cullens to help take Quil home to recuperate. He also meant to broach the subject of the alliance with the Cullens and asked if I wanted to come along. It was rare when I was actually invited to something like that. I usually just forced my way in. So, naturally I jumped at the chance to be included.

Charlie was still sleeping off his grueling double-shift, so I left him a note telling him I'd be back later. We took my truck. Jacob rode shot-gun with his left arm draped over the bench seat as he leaned into the door and looked out the window.

I pulled into the Cullens long driveway. Even if Alice couldn't see my decision to visit, she definitely would have heard me coming from a mile away. My truck gave me away every time. But, it had been a great means of transportation. I loved it from the moment I first saw it. The fact that Jacob was the one who got it running just made me love it even more. I feared with college coming up that maybe its time was up.

We got out of the car and walked up the porch hand in hand. I could tell Jacob was tense and nervous, though he was trying to put out a calm front. I raised my hand to knock when the door swung open and Alice came barreling through it, nearly knocking me over with the force of her embrace. My hand was torn from Jacob's and I heard the beginnings of a growl rumbling deep within his chest.

"You'll have to forgive her Jacob. It was hard enough making her wait at the door. She would have run out and tackled Bella in the driveway if I would have let her."

Over Alice's shoulder I saw Edward smile reassuringly at me. Jacob still looked tense, but at least he had stopped growling. Alice pulled away from me, her hands on my shoulders. She looked at me like she hadn't seen me in years.

"Oh Bella, sorry about that. It's just after what happened yesterday…well let's just say I've learned not to be so complacent about my life. I love you like a sister, Bella. I thought it was the end for me for a second there. It's not often that I feel that close to death, you know? I just don't want to waste a moment, even if I do have forever."

"It's okay Alice. I'm used to it. Besides, I know what you mean. I thought I had lost you for a second there too."

She hugged me again and I knew she would be crying if she could. To my surprise, she released me and turned towards Jacob. They exchanged nervous glances for a moment before Alice threw herself at Jacob, wrapping her tiny arms around his waist. He grunted in shock, his arms upraised not knowing what to do with them. He looked from me to Edward, who was having a hard time suppressing his laughter. He nodded towards Jacob and said, "Yes, she is crazy. But, she's also very appreciative. We both are."

"I'm not crazy Edward. Jacob I'm sorry. I know you're not comfortable with us, but I really hope that can change. What you did for us yesterday…well, I can't tell you how grateful we are. Bella loves you and that's good enough for me. I can't see the future where you're concerned, but I just know we'll be great friends!"

With that Alice released Jacob who was stunned and speechless. He automatically fumbled for my hand as we followed Alice and Edward into the house. Upon entering, we saw Quil, Seth, and Jasper sitting together on one of the couches playing video games. Quil's left arm and leg were both in casts and he had a bandage wrapped around his head. Other than the fact that he was moving slower than usual, he looked like the same old Quil. My heart ached with overwhelming joy. Though Jacob had said Quil would be fine, a part of me refused to believe it until I saw it with my own eyes.

Quil and Seth tore their eyes from the game for a moment to nod in our direction. Clearly, they felt very much at home in a house full of vampires. Jasper left the young wolves to their game and walked up to Alice smiling at me and nodding warily towards Jacob.

"Bella, it's good to see you, especially under better circumstances. We all really miss you around here."

I smiled meekly as Jacob's grip tightened on my hand. He was trying his best to remain calm. Jasper must have picked up on our growing anxiety because I felt a calming wave flow through my system. Jacob's hold relaxed and he was able to speak in a calm and authoritative voice.

"I came here for a reason, not just because of Quil. I need to speak with the doctor." He looked around the room searching for something then asked, "Where's Leah?"

Jasper chuckled. "She left early this morning when Seth showed up. I think she had had her fill of our patient here. When he started telling her he needed a sponge bath, it took all her power to just walk away and not punch him in the gut."

Quil diverted his attention from the game long enough to extend us a greeting. "It was a joke. Our girl's a bit too sensitive these days, huh Jake? Oh, hey Bella. Nice to see you two could actually put some clothes on and join us." He winked at me as Jacob and I both rolled our eyes.

Edward did his best to ignore Quil's comment, though I saw the tension and pain in his eyes. He looked towards me and said, "Please, would you two like to sit down? I realize, Jacob that you would like to speak to us about forming some sort of an alliance. I think that's a …"

'Dude," Jacob interjected. "Is it possible for you to stay out of someone's head for just a minute? Just because you can, doesn't mean you should."

Edward countered, "I don't know Jacob. That's like saying it would be possible for you _not_ to act like a cocky ass every chance you get."

It felt as though the air had been sucked out of the room. Quil and Seth paused their game and looked over at us with concerned faces. Alice and Jasper stood between Edward and Jacob to prevent them from coming to blows. I stood there, immobile for a moment before I realized how asinine they were both acting. I was about to tell them so when Jacob shrugged his shoulders and said, "That's fair."

And then the impossible happened. Jacob and Edward looked at each other with smiles on their faces. They broke into fits of laughter and it was like music to my ears. I looked to Jasper thinking he was responsible for the resolution of the tension in the room, but he merely looked as shocked and confused as the rest of us.

"Relax Jasper," Edward said. "You haven't lost your touch, it just seems that Jacob and I finally understand one another."

We sat down on one of the couches while Seth and Quil went back to their game. Jacob's grip loosened but he continued to hold my hand in his. I wasn't sure if it was a male, territorial thing or not, but I did see that Edward took notice.

"So, yeah, I'm here to talk about forming an alliance, a new treaty so to speak. But, where's the rest of your family?"

A flash of pain crossed Edward's face before he spoke. "Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett left with Tanya last night. They took her back to Denali because she was in no shape to go by herself." He looked directly at Jacob when he said that. Jacob's body tensed immediately in response.

"I know you're not implying that I'm the one responsible for the shape she's in, right? She deserved to die and you know it! She got off easy."

"Jacob, I'm not saying that at all. Tanya was most grateful for the mercy you showed her. But, she lost her sisters. The thought of living an eternity without the people you love…well, I can only imagine what she must be feeling right now." This time Edward's gaze fell on me. Feelings of guilt washed over me threatening to cause a panic attack. But, just as fast as they came, they were gone and a sense of calm was restored. I looked to Jasper appreciatively who in turn, shot Edward a warning look.

Jasper spoke, effectively breaking the tension in the room. "Carlisle left early this morning after he checked on Quil. Since Quil was well enough to be moved, he followed the others to Denali to help explain the situation to the rest of the coven. But, we'd be happy to discuss the terms of an alliance with your pack. What brought on this change of heart?"

"The Volturi."

Silence permeated the room. My heart skipped a beat at the mere mention of their name, especially after seeing the look of fear on the faces of the Cullens. It reminded me, though no reminder was necessary, just the kind of danger I was in. Jacob joining forces with the Cullens was my only hope to live a human life.

Jacob continued with authority. "Look, the Volturi want Bella, dead or undead. Neither option works for me. So, I decided, you brought this hell into our lives, so you're going to help get rid of it." Jacob stared at Edward, daring him to contradict his statement.

Alice chimed in, "Jacob, it's not really…"

"No, Alice he's right." Edward looked into Jacob's eyes, his face full of sincerity and humility. "It's my fault that the Volturi know anything about Bella. She saved my life. My family and I will do anything and everything in our power to save hers."

Jacob simply nodded in response.

Jasper asked, "So, what is it you'd like us to do?"

We spent the next hour or so going over the details of the alliance. Edward and Alice agreed that if the Volturi were going to strike, it would be sooner rather than later. Alice would continue to monitor them in her visions to figure out when they would make their move. In the meantime, the Cullens and the wolves would work together to formulate strategies and figure out new patrol schedules. Jacob agreed to come back once Carlisle and the other returned home.

We felt good about the meeting. All the people I loved were working together harmoniously. It was like a dream come true. All that was left was talking to Sam. Jacob loved him like a brother and hated that his taking his rightful role had driven a wedge between them. He needed to talk to Sam about his plans with the Cullens so that he could be included. He acknowledged that it would take some convincing so he put it off for the next day. That day was all about taking care of his own pack. And Quil needed tending to.

We dropped Quil off at Embry's house. Although he was feeling much better, he still needed help getting around and he was simply too large for his mother to be of any help. So, Embry volunteered to care for him until he fully healed, which according to Carlisle would only be a few more days.

It was early in the afternoon when we left Embry's house and I drove to Jacob's to drop him off. It was Sunday; the end of a crazy weekend and Monday meant heading back to work for both of us. I was going through my mental list of things I needed to get done before the work week began when Jacob spoke.

"So, do you think we'll be able to pull this whole alliance off?" I glanced over at him, but he was staring through the windshield at the road ahead.

"Jake, I think it's a perfect idea. You are a great protector _now_. Just imagine how much more effective you'll be with their help. You also have to remember you're starting school in the spring. You could use the extra pairs of eyes and ears out there. You're a born leader, Jake. If anyone can make this happen, it's you."

"Thanks Bells. With all the craziness that's going on, it's nice to know you still have faith in me."

I reached out for his hand and he held it tight. "Always, Jake. Always."

I dropped him off at home and headed back to my place. Charlie was still sleeping so I got started with my chores. I did all my laundry, throwing in a couple of Charlie's things for good measure. I changed the sheets on my bed and cleaned up my room and tidied around the house. Before I knew it, it was five o'clock.

I went outside with a blanket to read and relax before dinner when I heard the phone ring. Charlie came out a few minutes later looking worn, but refreshed.

"Hey kiddo, that was Billy on the phone. He invited us over for dinner. He said he and Jacob are cooking for us to thank us for all the cooking I've done lately."

I smiled warmly thinking of My Jacob wearing nothing but a frilly white apron cooking me dinner. I started to blush and immediately erased it from my mind and addressed Charlie. "Wow, that was nice of them."

"Yeah, but it's probably more of payback than thanks. You better have the pizza guy on speed-dial just in case."

I couldn't help but laugh. Charlie had a point. Personally, I didn't know how Jacob and Billy had survived so long without me. Sure, they could grill, but with the constant rain, it's not like they could do that every night.

"Anyway, they said to come over around six. So, let me know when you're ready."

"Okay, thanks Dad."

We left for La Push shortly thereafter. I watched Charlie as he drove. He looked really tired and I was concerned for him. I thought about what my life would have been like if I would have ignored my true feelings and stayed with Edward. Aside from the sheer heartbreak and regret I would have felt for losing Jacob, I would have missed Charlie too.

"Dad, why are you working so many double shifts? Is there something wrong, something I should know about?"

He looked sheepish, as he tried avoiding my gaze. "I didn't want to tell you because I knew how you'd react. But, I'm doing it for you."

"What? Why?"

"Because I want to pay for as much of your college as I can."

"What? Dad, no, I've got it covered. I've been saving, and I have my job at Newton's. I'll manage Dad. You don't have to…"

"That's where you're wrong Bells. Don't you understand how proud I am of you? You've changed so much since you've been with Jacob. I didn't mind you going to Seattle overnight with him because of that."

Great, what is it with parents being able to lay on the guilt without even trying? I felt horrible for lying to him. He didn't deserve that from me. I figured I'd tell him the truth and deal with the consequences like an adult. "Um, Dad about Seattle, I…"

He gave me a threatening look. "Bells, _you went to Seattle for a concert!_ There's nothing more to say."

Apparently Charlie was more observant than I gave him credit for. He just didn't want the truth said out loud. Fair enough. He continued as if I hadn't said anything.

"Anyway, when you were with Edward, it was like you were trying to mold yourself into his world. It was like you didn't think you were good enough for him so you did whatever you could to make things easy for him. And, if it meant sacrificing your friends, then that's what you did. Bells, you may think I'm oblivious, but I saw how Edward kept you away from Jake. Apart from leaving you in the first place, that was the worst thing that boy ever did in my eyes. I saw how Jacob was there for you when you needed him. I'll always be indebted to him for taking care of you when I couldn't."

I was nearly in tears. It was rare for Charlie to really express himself like that. It served to remind me of how selfish I was in dealing with Edward's loss. My actions affected everyone I loved.

"I don't know Bells. You and Edward scared me. You were so intense about each other. I can't explain it, but it felt like he planned on taking you away from me forever. I know you aren't a little girl anymore, but you're still my daughter. It just felt like those ties, those bonds wouldn't matter anymore if you stayed with him. But, with Jake, you've changed for the better. You're back to the feisty Bella I used to know, only a more mature version. You bring out the best in Jake and he does the same for you. You don't put up with his crap and he's the first one to call you out on yours. You're intense about him, but you're still _you_ so it doesn't worry me. When you were with Edward, it's like you only looked at each other. But, with Jacob, it's like you two look in the same direction, together. For crying out loud, you've got him wanting to be a better man. He's got his high school diploma two years ahead of schedule, and that's because of you; because he loves you. And you're going to college together. Hell, a year ago, I didn't think you'd even go to college. Nothing seemed important to you other than Edward. I'm so happy that you've found direction in your life. It's what every parent wants for their child. So, don't give me a hard time about the money thing, okay? I know you're independent and want to do things on your own. But, please let me do this for you."

"Okay Dad. Thank you."

"Yeah."

We were silent the rest of the ride into La Push. But, it was a comfortable silence. I felt as though Charlie and I had had a major breakthrough.

We pulled up to Billy's and headed towards the porch. The screen door was closed, but the front door was open letting black smoke filter through. I fanned the smoke away from me as I coughed. I could hear raised voices coming from the kitchen.

"Don't blame me old man! You told me to watch it and I did."

"Jake, you watched it until it turned black. How does that help anyone?"

"Well, you put the oven on too high. How was I supposed to know how long to watch it if you changed the temperature on me?"

"Oh, for crying out loud Jacob. You're hopeless. What are we going to feed them now? Charlie's never going to let me live this one down."

Charlie and I exchanged knowing looks before he opened the screen door yelling, "You're right about that _Old Man_!"

I followed Charlie into the kitchen and almost doubled over in laughter at the scene. Billy was sitting in his chair looking disgruntled and annoyed while Jacob stood over him with oven mitts on holding a pan of a burnt and blackened substance that could only have been meatloaf. When Jacob saw me he blushed and promptly dropped the roasting pan on the stove-top and threw the oven mitts at an unsuspecting Billy.

I walked right up to Jacob wrapping one arm around his waist while my other hand reached into my pocket. "Don't worry guys. I've got just the thing that will fix this." I pulled out my cell phone and hit the speed-dial. I patted Jacob on his side and walked into the living room, speaking into the phone, "Yes, I'd like to order some pizzas…"

After dinner, Billy and Charlie remained sitting around the kitchen table while Jacob and I cuddled up on the couch to watch some television. In all honesty, we weren't really watching television so much as using it as background noise to hide our stolen kisses and whispered endearments.

We were in the middle of a particularly passionate embrace when Charlie's booming voice carried over from the kitchen. "Hey you two, knock it off over there. Keep your hands where I can see them!"

"DAD!!!!"

I was mortified. I tried to hide my face in the corner of the couch while simultaneously pushing Jacob as far away from me as possible. Jacob merely chuckled, which annoyed me even more. Billy and Charlie came into the living room, seemingly to prevent us from being alone. Billy laughed when he saw our new positions on the couch.

"Oh, come on Charlie. It's pretty obvious that things are serious between these two. I mean, it was written all over Bella's face the day of the bonfire. I don't see why you have to make things so difficult for them. Let them be."

"Look, Billy, I just think they could try to keep their hands off of each other for a couple of hours. Is that too much to ask?"

I groaned in humiliation while Jacob tried to stifle his laughter. Billy chimed in again, "Hmm. How quickly they forget. Bella, did your Dad ever tell you about the time he and your mom were caught skinny dipping?'

My head shot up from the couch and I stared wide-eyed at Charlie's shocked face. If he didn't love Billy like a brother, I'd have been worried for Billy's safety at that moment. Charlie turned purple, he was so embarrassed. Billy laughed at his expression then turned his attention back to me and Jacob.

"Well, I guess that means he didn't. It's a great story. Let's see, your mom and dad were younger than you two are now. But, even then, you could tell how in love they were. They couldn't keep their hands off of each other. They were caught getting all kissy kissy behind the bleachers at school, in the cafeteria. They were inseparable. Anyway, one night my father was out in the woods taking a walk and he comes across your Dad and Renee, naked as j-birds, kissing in a small pond. Well…"

"Oh God, I've got to get out of here!" The thought of my parents getting it on was bad enough. But, to hear all the gory details was too much. I stood up shielding my eyes from Charlie and pulled Jacob with me as I walked towards the front door. With laughter in his voice Jacob told Billy, "I think I'll take Bella for a walk. She looks like she could use some air."

He placed his hand at the small of my back and gently guided me out the door and into the clear, cool night. As we walked towards his garage I could hear Charlie yelling at Billy, "What the hell was that for? Way to embarrass me in front of my kid!"

"Hey, you embarrassed her first. When are you going to accept that they're not children and they're certainly not in a _childish_ relationship? I know you're concerned with how young they are, but they're in it for the long run. The sooner you accept that, the happier you'll be."

We walked far enough away at that point that we didn't hear Charlie's response. But, it wasn't far enough to _un-hear_ what I had heard. Billy's story made me cringe. I could see that behavior coming from Renee, but from calm, cool, and collected Charlie? That was surprising. Jacob took my hand and led me behind his make-shift garage to where his Rabbit was parked.

He turned me towards him and backed me up against the car. His hands caressed my face and neck as he bent down for a warm, sweet kiss. He was still smiling and laughing about the story when he asked, "Come on, Bells. That wasn't that bad, was it?"

I smiled against his lips and replied, "I'm not sure what I'm more embarrassed about; Charlie calling us out or hearing that he was once a young teenager in love too. I don't know, I'm a little creeped out to think of my Dad that way."

"True, just imagine how grossed out our kids are going to be when they hear some of our stories. Like the time I took you in my car."

"Jake, they're never going to hear those stories. And, what are you talking about? We've never had sex in your…oh."

He pressed his body to mine and I could feel his arousal, hard against my stomach. A sexy smirk adorned his beautiful face. My breath caught in my throat as I felt the wetness pool between my legs. It didn't take much for him to get me all hot and bothered.

I looked from his tempting mouth then back to the house. "Jake…we can't…our dads are in the house. They could come out at any minute. Plus, sex in your car? I mean, it's a bit cliché, don't you think?"

He laughed and kissed me hard. When he broke the kiss he pouted saying, "Come on Bells. All the cool kids are doing it."

"Oh well, in that case…"

"See, I knew you'd see reason."

He kissed me again, this time his tongue slipped between my lips. He groaned as he tasted me and I melted against his body. Any reservations I had disappeared with the feeling of his body against mine. He pulled me close as he stepped away from the car to open the door. He pushed the driver-side seat down and forward so we could get into the back seat. He walked me backwards until my legs hit the side of the car.

"After you, Bells."

I turned around and crouched down to get into the back. As I placed my foot in the car, Jacob smacked me hard on the ass. I was startled and jumped in laughing, twisting so that I was on my back on the seat. But, I was a little too vigorous with my jump and ended up hitting my head on the passenger side arm rest.

"Ow, crap!"

Jacob poked his head into the car with a worried expression on his face. "Bells, I'm sorry. I just couldn't resist. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. It's not your fault. I was just a little too excited. Well, come on then, get your beautiful butt back here."

Jacob lunged into the back seat and immediately proceeded to hit his head hard on the ceiling of the car.

"Fuck, shit, crap!" He rubbed his head with his hand. I couldn't help but giggle at how silly he looked hunched over in such a tiny space.

"Oh, you think that's funny, do you?"

His lips crashed into mine as he tried to find space to position his hands in the confining space. He placed one knee between my legs and tried to kneel over me, but there wasn't enough room for him to lie on top of me. He moved his hands to try to prop himself up and I cried out in pain.

"Bells, what is it?"

"Jake, that's my boob you're leaning on!"

"Oh, shit, sorry honey." He quickly pulled his hands back to his sides and frowned at me.

"It's okay Jake. I'm fine. Come here."

I grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him down into a hungry kiss. His hands returned to the hem of my shirt and he tugged it up my body. As I raised my arms to allow him to take it off, my hands flew into his face and he grunted in pain.

"Ow, shit!"

"Oh, Jake I'm sorry. What did I do?"

"You got me in the eye…but it's okay now."

He finished taking off my shirt and knelt on the car floor, his legs hanging out of the car and bent over me kissing my breasts through my lace bra. My nipples instantly reacted to his breath and became pert and desperate for his firm touch. I had nowhere to put my legs and my neck was bent in an uncomfortable position against the side of the car.

"Jake, wait. This is ridiculous. You're half out of the car and I'm getting a crick in my neck like this."

"Okay, okay. Here, let me try something."

He crawled fully into the back and sat down on the seat while he cradled me in his arms placing me on his lap. I straddled his waist, grinding myself into his hardness. He growled and pulled me by the neck to meet his lips. He broke the kiss and licked and nibbled down my neck, careful not to leave any marks.

"Mmm, much better." His hands moved up my body to my breasts which he kneaded and squeezed, pinching my aching nipples. I threw my head back in pleasure and instantly hit the top of my head on the car's ceiling.

"Ow! Damn it!"

I sighed, then rested my forehead against Jacob's. "Baby, this just isn't going to work. I think it's silly to keep trying."

"No, Bells, come on. We can _do_ this. Okay, maybe if I…or you just move your leg…then I'll…"

He tried to maneuver us in various positions, each more complicated than the last. I cried out in exasperation, "Jake, it's not working!"

Jacob ignored me, bound and determined to make this work. "Damn it! If they can do it on tv, then _we_ can do this."

I laughed at his blind determination. "Jake, do you believe everything that you see on tv?"

He smiled and said, "Bells, if it's on tv, then it must be true. We just need to put more effort into this. It's sex Bells, it's not rocket science!"

"Yeah Jake, it's sex in a tiny circus car with a giant! Face it, you weren't meant for this sort of thing."

He squeezed my ass in his warm hands. "Maybe we just need a bigger car."

"Sure, Jake. When you get a Suburban, call me. Now, let's get back inside before those gossiping old ladies come looking for us."

He helped me put my shirt back on. The look of disappointment on his face was laughable. He looked like a little boy who was just told that there was no such thing as Santa. I started giggling and then collapsed against him in a fit of laughter. He frowned at me and sighed, "It's not _that_ funny, Bells. You know, getting all worked up like this and having nothing come of it, pardon my choice of words, well…it's just not healthy. I could probably die from this you know."

"Oh God, Jake you're being so dramatic! Trust me, this is _that_ funny. I mean, you just don't fit back here. And with me being as clumsy as I am…well this whole thing is hilarious. And, that look on your face is priceless."

He rolled his eyes at me. "I'm never going to live this down. Once the pack sees this they'll harass me non-stop."

"Well, then I suggest you try not to think about it. Let's go."

I crawled out of the car and stepped out. My back leg caught on something and I fell, head first on the soft grass before Jacob had a chance to catch me. Luckily I was able to break my fall with my arms. I immediately rolled on to my back, laughing hysterically. What was supposed to be a night of passion had turned into a comedy of errors. It was so fitting that I would nearly fall on my face to end the evening. I watched as Jacob extricated himself from the cramped backseat and had an image of several little people coming out of a Volkswagen Beetle at the stumbled out and fell on the ground next to me. I saw the surprised look on this face and convulsed in another fit of laughter. This time his brilliant smile shone through and his barking laugh echoed out in the night.

He stood up holding his hand out to me. There were tears in our eyes from laughing so hard. I reached for his hand and he pulled me up abruptly, holding me to his chest as he bent down to kiss me. He sucked my bottom lip into his mouth as I groaned. He released me with a huge smile on his face. He then crouched in front of me and said, "Hop on!"

I jumped onto his back. He grunted as though I was a heavy load to bear. I smacked him on his chest and we both laughed as he marched up back to his front door. He carried me, piggy-back, inside and Charlie and Billy both eyed us suspiciously.

Charlie asked, "What have you two been up to?"

Jacob looked over his shoulder into my eyes and we both smiled and answered at the same time in a sing-song voice, "Nothing!"

**A/N: Well, I hope you all enjoyed that one. I'm literally getting carpal tunnel from all my fanfiction writing. So, if you love my story, please review and let me know. Thanks.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do NOT!!!**

**A/N: First of all, I'd like to say thank you to my anonymous reviewers for the last chapter Sass, and V. Thank you so much. V, your review was wonderful. Also, a special thank you to EVERYONE else who read and reviewed the last chapter. My reviewers are the absolute best. And of course, thanks again to my Beta Christine.**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE **

A week had passed since my catastrophic birthday adventures. If it weren't for the shining moments spent with Jacob, I'd consider putting a moratorium on all future birthday festivities. Things started getting back to normal, except of course with Sam.

Jacob was having a hard time dealing with the loss of his mentor. He was convinced that they could work as two individual packs, together. Jacob did his best in trying to speak with Sam, but he wasn't having any luck. Sam was angry. More to the point, Sam was hurt. He felt as though Jacob had betrayed him. To Jacob's credit, he didn't give up. He called Sam every day and even stopped by his house at various times of day to try to speak with him in person. I hated that Jacob's wolf family was falling apart. I blamed myself for it and decided that it was within my ability to rectify the situation.

I fully embraced my role as "wolf-girl" and contacted Emily and Kim directly. Men could be stubborn and prideful, but if I could get through to their women, I knew I'd have a chance. I drove over to Sam and Emily's one day after work. I was able to explain Jacob's reasons for doing what he did and that he never had any intention of disrespecting Sam. Jacob merely did what he thought was right. A day later when Jacob tried calling Sam again, Sam finally answered. The future immediately looked brighter.

That same evening I was in my room going over college and scholarship applications when I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in."

Jacob walked in dressed in his usual cut-off sweats. I was surprised Charlie hadn't said anything about his lack of clothes, especially since he knew what was going on between us. I turned in my chair, away from my open lap-top and looked at the loving expression on his face. When his eyes locked on mine his mouth spread into a contagious smile. He walked up to me, bent down and kissed me on the lips. I closed my eyes, savoring the smoothness of his lips on mine. The kiss was more of a sweet hello, but it promised a passion that set my heart racing in anticipation.

"Hey Bells," he whispered seductively.

When I opened my eyes, Jacob was sitting on the end of my bed, chuckling at my reaction.

"Wow, it's nice to know I can leave you speechless with just one kiss."

I couldn't help but smile even though his trademark arrogance was slightly annoying. "You're impossible Jake. So, what's up? I thought you were working late tonight."

"I was, but I actually got the rest of the day off. I talked to Sam today."

"Really?" I had yet to tell him about my visit with Emily and Kim. It wasn't as though I was trying to hide it from him. I just wasn't sure how he would handle me interfering in "pack" business.

He eyed me as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. His ability to read me better than anyone I'd ever met was a bit unnerving.

He smiled knowingly at me and said, "Well, whatever you said to Emily must have done the trick."

"How did you know I talked to Emily?"

"You're my girl. I know you better than you think. Besides, it was just a matter of time before you started fighting my battles for me."

"Are you mad? I wasn't trying to step on your toes or anything. I just thought since Sam wouldn't even hear you out, maybe Emily would listen to me, you know, put in a good word for you. I…"

"Bells, honey, I'm not mad at all. I've been fighting for you since the beginning. It's kind of nice having you do the same for me."

He opened his arms to me, inviting me into his warm embrace. I stood up from my chair and walked over to him hugging him close. I stood between his open legs as he rested his head against my heart. We were silent for several minutes, enjoying our closeness. But, my curiosity about Jake's meeting with Sam got the best of me.

"So, what did Sam have to say?"

Jacob sighed as if I had broken a spell. "Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Come here, have a seat."

I sat on his lap, my arms draped around his neck. "Jake, is there something wrong?"

"No, Bells. There's nothing wrong. Sam and I got to talking about my plans with the Cullens. He wasn't happy about it, but I was able to convince him that the advantages we would gain from an alliance outweighed the negatives. He also agreed that we should remain two separate packs until he stops phasing."

"Wait, Sam's going to stop phasing?

"Well, not any time soon, but yeah. He's older than the rest of us. He and Emily want to have kids, and he doesn't want her to grow old by herself. Anyway, when he stops phasing, Jared, Paul, Colin and Brady will all join my pack."

"Oh Jake, that's wonderful. So, Sam's willing to work with the Cullens?"

"Well, yes, but we still need to figure out how these two packs are going to work together seamlessly. And, well, that's why I came to talk to you."

"Why do I get the feeling that I'm not going to like what you're about to say?"

"It's not bad. There's no need to freak out or anything. Sam thinks that we all need to get away together and, I don't know, do some male bonding or whatever. I know it sounds lame, but it's sort of a tribal tradition. And, with the way things have been strained recently, I think it's a good way to get focused again. Mainly, we need to learn how to communicate now that we have two Alphas. Nothing like this has happened before. It's going to take some time and practice to figure things out."

I smiled at him. His words may have said that he thought the whole exercise in male bonding was lame, but his eyes told a different story. He looked genuinely excited to have the opportunity to bridge the divide that had grown between the two packs. It was a chance to get his family back together and I was happy for him.

"Jake that's a great idea. So, when are you leaving?"

"Tonight," he whispered.

"Tonight?!!! Well, that's sudden. How long will you be gone?"

His mouth twisted into a tight grimace when he said, "Two weeks."

_Two Weeks?_ Just the idea of it felt like an eternity. I couldn't help but feel sad.

His hands immediately caressed my face and he kissed me sweetly. "Oh Bells, I don't have to go. It's no big deal, really. Please don't be sad."

"Jake, don't be ridiculous. I was being selfish for a second there, but now I'm done. It's just two weeks. This is important for you and Sam, and both of your packs. I think it's just what you all need and I'm sorry for making you feel guilty about doing your duty, even if only for a moment."

I hugged him to me tightly and he returned the embrace fervently. I would miss this closeness. But, more importantly, I'd miss the feel of his skin, his piney, earthy scent. I was being a bit dramatic though. I still had my leftover abandonment issues from Edward, but I knew I was a lot smarter since then. I trusted Jacob completely. There was no worry that he wouldn't come back to me after those two weeks were up. And, if I didn't have to worry about that, then there was no reason for him not to go.

I pulled back from our embrace, smiling brightly at his beautiful face. "I love you Jake. I'll miss you."

He leaned in and planted a chaste kiss on my lips. "You know, we've never been apart this long since we've been together. Maybe the time away might spice things up a bit."

I arched my eyebrow and glared at him. He fumbled for words trying to correct his mistake.

"I mean…well it's not like we need to spice things…I mean _you're_ incredible…that's to say I love _everything_ we do…I didn't mean that we needed to do anything…How about I just shut up now?"

I couldn't help but smirk when I replied, "Sounds like a plan Jake."

He kissed my hand and gave me a sheepish look. I rolled my eyes at him. "I guess I do kind of agree with you, not about the spice, of course. But, I think time apart will be good for us, _both_ of us. I'll miss you, terribly. But, at least I have your homecoming to look forward to."

He kissed me passionately, knowing full well that he was forgiven.

Jake and the rest of the wolves left that night. According to Jake, they were leaving Brady and Leah behind to protect the reservation. They wouldn't have phones or any other means of communication with the outside world for the entire two weeks. I was assured that if there was an emergency that Brady and Leah could phase to alert them and they'd be home immediately. It was bad enough that I wouldn't see Jake for two weeks, but it was a whole other matter entirely knowing I wouldn't even be able to talk to him. But, the distance was well worth it knowing that he was doing something that could potentially benefit his tribe and subsequently our future.

Luckily, I was kept relatively busy that first week Jacob was away. Between my job at Newton's and my internship in Port Angeles, I hardly had time to think about how much I missed him.

When Charlie wasn't working double shifts, we spent our evenings talking over dinner. He started to talk about Sue Clearwater a lot which made me think that a romance was in bloom between them. I was happy to see that after all these years alone, he was finally thinking about making himself happy.

Before the first week was up, I had made plans to meet up with Leah for dinner in Port Angeles. It was a Friday night and I didn't have to work at Newton's that day. I spent my entire day at the publishing house waiting for six o'clock to come so that I could meet Leah at a Chinese restaurant around the corner from work.

I walked into the restaurant and broke into a wide smile. Leah was wearing tight dark jeans that accentuated her model-like figure. Her shortly-cropped hair was styled in a funky, sleek do which brought out her beautiful cheekbones. She wore a skin-tight v-neck red sweater and high heeled boots that made her look like an Amazon. I looked down at my flats and business attire and laughed at how plain I looked compared to her. I couldn't help but think that Sam was a fool to let her go. Emily was beautiful and sweet, but Leah was stunning and fierce. She reminded me so much of Rosalie. If Rosalie was a golden goddess, then Leah was a moon goddess. Only her pain and anger ever marred her beauty.

I walked up to her table and sat down. "Wow, Leah, you look freaking incredible. I wish you would have told me this was a 'dress up to make men drool' kind of date. I feel grossly inadequate at the moment."

"Oh please Bella, men stare at you all the time. Besides, you have a man. Dress up for him. I figured tonight, fuck it. I don't have a man, no obligations, and damn it I need to feel like a girl for once. I spend most of my days wearing dingy sun dresses to make phasing easier. More often than not I spend hours with leaves and twigs in my hair because the only man in my life is my kid brother who 'doesn't notice those things.' So, I think I'm entitled to look like a girl for once. Why, do you think it's too much?"

"Are you kidding me? Leah, you look gorgeous. There isn't a man in this place who isn't watching you, wishing you'd give them the time of day."

"Good. Now, let's eat. I'm starving."

I was amazed at how much Leah could eat. She ordered almost as much food as Jacob normally did. We got to talking about what she had been up to the past week without the pack. We also joked about the possibility of our parents getting together and us becoming step-sisters.

"Hey Leah, earlier you said you don't have any obligations. What did you mean by that?"

"Hmm, you caught that did you?"

"Well, I was sitting right here when you said it."

"Ooh, and she's funny too!"

"Come on Leah. What's up?"

She bit her lip as if she didn't know how to say what she was thinking. She took a deep breath and blurted out, "I'm leaving Jacob's pack."

She looked into my eyes, bracing herself for my reaction. I was confused. I thought she wanted to get away from Sam. I thought she and Jacob were better friends now.

"Leah, I don't understand. Does that mean you're going back to Sam's?"

"Oh God no! I mean, I'm leaving the pack. I'm going to stop phasing."

My mouth opened in shock.

"Oh, don't freak out on me Bella. I'll stay with it until we deal with the Volturi. My gut tells me we'll be seeing them sooner rather than later. Once that's over, and if I survive, well then it'll be time for me to move on."

I finally found my voice and put my hand on her arm. My touch startled her, but she relaxed and looked at me. "Leah don't talk that way. Of course you're going to survive. You just…"

"Bella, look, I'm being realistic. Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, if I want the life I dreamed about, the career, the husband, the kids; then I'm going to have to stop phasing. Much like the world in general, being a wolf is a lot harder on me then it is for the guys. They can all still have kids and phase. I can't. I want my life back. But, more importantly, I want a new start."

"I don't know what to say, other than you know Jake and I will support you."

"Thanks Bella. Now, let's get out of here before someone calls the schmaltz police! I don't know if they can handle all of this sappiness."

We both erupted into fits of laughter and made our way back out onto the street.

"Hey Leah, before you go, do you want to come with me to the bookstore? I need some new reading material to keep me occupied at night. I've just about re-read everything I own."

"A _book_, Bella? Are you sure you don't want something more _enter_-active?" She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Don't you mean _inter_…oh…OH…God Leah you're gross!"

She laughed heartily. "What? Look, unfortunately I've been subjected to replays of your," she paused searching for the right words, "_active_ sex-life."

I blushed crimson. I knew the pack would have seen everything Jake and I had done through the pack mind. But, at least they all had the decency to not bring up what they saw to my face. My embarrassment didn't deter Leah.

"I've got to say Bella, it's pretty hot stuff. Honestly, I didn't think you had it in you."

"Um, _thanks_?"

"I'm just sayin, I know what it's like to miss out on that kind of lovin. I know that I'd need something other than a _book_ to occupy my time."

I stared at her, wide-eyed and speechless for several moments before saying, "Wow, you really do need a man."

She laughed and replied, "I know, right?"

We started walking towards the bookstore. Since my first, fateful excursion into Port Angeles, a national bookstore chain set up shop in the town center. That was good for many reasons. First, it meant I didn't have to drive to Seattle anymore to get a decent selection. But, most importantly, it meant I didn't have to traipse around the dark streets at night looking for a small shop. My personal safety was an added perk and I took full advantage of that whenever I could.

The bookstore was relatively empty. Leah went to browse through the magazines while I moved to the literature section. I turned the corner around an aisle, tripped, and found myself sprawled in the lap of a complete stranger.

"Oh my God…oh God…I'm so sorry. I'm such a klutz. Are you okay?" I moved quickly trying to get out of the stranger's lap when he laughed.

"Wow, if you wanted to meet me you could have just struck up a conversation. A beautiful girl like you shouldn't fear rejection. I would have talked to you in a heartbeat. Of course, this is nice too."

I sat up quickly, my legs and feet tucked under my butt. I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks. He smirked at my discomfort.

"I'm Jack by the way. I figure since we're so intimately acquainted we should at least introduce ourselves." He extended his hand towards mine. I reached for it saying, "I'm Bella. Nice to meet you…"

Before I could finish my sentence I felt a strong grip pulling on my waistband and hauling me up to a standing position. Leah pushed me behind her protectively while she grabbed Jack's wrist and pulled. His eyes were filled with a mixture of shock, awe, and a little bit of …_lust_? He grabbed a hold of his captive wrist in her hand and quickly got to his feet. Leah let go of his arm and lashed out at him.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing? You have no right to touch her."

I tried to tell Leah that it was all a misunderstanding, that it was my fault for falling on him, and that apart from being flirtatious, Jack had done nothing wrong. But, Leah told me to be quiet and set her deadly glare on poor, unsuspecting Jack. Surprisingly, he didn't look intimidated by Leah. Rather, he had a stupid grin on his face and he looked like he was having a great time.

"Wow, that's a strong grip you have there, a…sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"Jack, sorry about this. This is my friend Leah." I glared at her before continuing. "She doesn't get out much and sometimes she acts like she was raised by a bunch of wolves. She means well though. Leah," I turned to address her. "This is Jack."

He extended his hand and Leah merely crossed her arms over her chest. Jack looked from Leah back to me and asked, "So, is there a reason for her being so over-protective of you Bella?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but Leah interrupted me. "She's spoken for loser. So stay the hell away."

His eyebrows raised at her tone when he replied, "Well, I'm not surprised. She is a beautiful girl." He winked at me making me blush, _again_. "What about you Leah? Is your hunky boyfriend going to come over and beat me up now for no reason?"

Leah rolled her eyes silently conveying that his charms were having no effect on her. She grabbed my arm, leading me out towards the exit saying, "Come on Bella. Let's get out of here."

I turned my head over my shoulder to mouth my silent apology as Leah led me away. Jack picked up his belongings and followed quickly after us.

"Wait Leah, maybe you might want to get coffee somewhere?"

Oh boy. Did this guy know that he was playing with fire? I thought he must have had a death wish. Leah turned quickly and got in his face. He didn't even flinch. He merely smiled a beautiful smile.

"Let me get this straight. First, you hit on my friend. Then, once you hear she's not available you hit on me? No thanks. I'm not too keen on being someone's second choice, especially not for a jerk like you."

"Whoa, I think we need to correct a few points there. First of all, the lovely and completely unavailable Bella fell into my lap while I was minding my own business. I wasn't hitting on her. I merely flirted with her because she blushed beautifully when I did. Secondly, you were never, could never be my second choice. I noticed you when you first walked in through the door. I was trying to pluck up enough courage to come over and talk to you. Though, perhaps if I would have started a street brawl with you I might have had more success. And for the record, I haven't even dated you yet, so how could you know I'm a jerk?"

I was mesmerized by the scene playing out before me. Leah was actually speechless. It was as if she had finally met her match. These two were sparring equals. I had a chance to really look at Jack while he argued with her. Leah was at least six feet tall, intimidating on a good day. But that night, dressed the way she was, she looked downright sinister. She was eye level with him, but she was wearing stiletto heels. He definitely wasn't as tall as My Jacob, but he was at least six feet four inches. He had short black hair, hazel eyes and slightly tanned skin. Based on his cheekbones and strong facial features, it was obvious that he had at least some Native American blood. He was rather attractive, but what stood out the most was his "devil may care" attitude. He was faced with the hurricane of anger that was Leah, and he didn't back down.

"Well then, Leah would you like to have some coffee with me?"

She eyed him suspiciously. Then something seemed to change. It was almost like I was witnessing the melting of the ice around her heart.

"Fine, but don't expect me to stay long."

I rolled my eyes at her. Jack's face lit up and he turned to me. "Bella, would you like to join us?"

"Uh, no thank you. I really need to be getting home. It was nice meeting you Jack. Leah, try not to kill him and call me."

She nodded and walked towards the coffee shop on the second floor. He followed behind her confidently, like he had won a great prize. I hoped he knew what he was in for, because it looked like these two could really hit it off, despite themselves. _God help _

_them._

I spent the second week of Jake's absence much like the first. I worked all day and spent most of my evenings catching up with Charlie or curling up with a book. On Thursday, I couldn't help but dread the following day. Friday I had neither my job nor my internship to occupy my time. Just when I was worrying about what to do with myself, my cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

_Hey Bella. _

I heard Alice's bubbly voice and couldn't help by smile.

"Hi Alice. What's up?"

_Well, I see you don't have any plans for tomorrow. How about I take you shopping, you know, help you spend that gift certificate Emmett and Rosalie gave you?_

The prospect of shopping with Alice was always daunting. But, I did have money to burn and time to kill. Plus, I really had missed spending one-on-one time with her.

_You're going to say yes Bella. My call was just a formality. _

"Alright, I'll go."

_Great! I'll pick you up tomorrow at noon._

True to her word, Alice pulled up in her yellow Porsche at twelve o'clock exactly. She made quick work of the drive into Seattle and headed directly to the mall. We hit every store and I spent my entire gift certificate. Alice wouldn't let us leave until we splurged on a few items at Victoria's Secret. I was tempted to protest until I thought about my reunion with Jacob on Sunday. I was just two days from having him back. I ended up picking a few things I knew would drive him crazy.

We walked back to the car just as the sun was setting. We piled all of our shopping bags into the tiny car and headed back to Forks. It was nice spending time with Alice like that. It was exhausting, but there was never a dull moment. That's what I had always loved about her.

We flew down the highway talking and singing along to the radio when all of a sudden, Alice got a dazed look on her face and she immediately pulled over to the shoulder. I knew from experience that she was having a vision. And, from the look on her face, I got a terrible sense of foreboding.

"Alice, what is it? What did you see?"

She stared straight ahead, her eyes unfocused.

"No, it's too soon. It can't be. Why didn't I see it?"

"Alice?"

Before she could answer me her cell phone rang.

She spoke quickly into the phone. I could only hear her broken replies as the person on the other end spoke too quickly and quietly for me to hear. "Yes, I know…I just saw it _now_…No, I don't know why I didn't see it coming…We'll be there soon."

"Alice, please tell me what's going on. You're scaring me."

She peeled out and got back onto the highway. The anxiety was killing me.

She sighed deeply and took her eyes off the road to look at me. "Bella, it's the Volturi."

"Oh god Alice, they're coming?"

"No…"

"Then, I don't understand. Why are you so…"

"Bella, they're _here_."

My body went rigid and darkness threatened to take me over. Alice grabbed my hand and squeezed it firmly.

"Bella, please focus. That was Edward. He said that Jane and Alec just knocked on the door and said that they were there to monitor your progress. When she was here in June, I told her that a wedding date had been set. I'm sure she's following up on why it hasn't happened yet."

"But, why didn't you…"

"I don't know Bella," she growled in frustration. "I've been monitoring the Volturi non-stop since we got back from Italy. Any decision they've made I've been aware of it. But, I don't know what's going on. As far as I know, Aro hasn't decided to follow up on you just yet. That is…unless they've figured out a way to block my visions. But, that doesn't matter anymore. What matters is that they're already here. Bella, your survival depends on you pretending that you and Edward are still together."

"What?! I can't, no. What about Jacob?"

"Bella, I've seen that Jane and Alec only plan on staying until Sunday. You said yourself that Jacob won't be coming home until Sunday night…"

"I'm not going to keep this from him…"

"I'm not asking you to. But, you can't communicate with him and if you called Billy and so much as mention the Volturi, the wolves would be back so quickly that all hell would break lose. Then, the real power of the Volturi would be unleashed and it would destroy us all. You'll tell Jacob everything, once they're gone. They need to think that you're still with Edward. That's the only reason they've let you live this long as it is. If they found out you two had broken up, they'd kill you instantly, and anyone else who was trying to protect you. We need more time to figure out how to handle this. As long as you can keep up the charade for two days, we'll be in the clear…for now anyway."

We drove in silence for several minutes. Alice suddenly reached for my charm bracelet that always adorned my wrist. "Here, I'll take this." With a quick flick of her wrist she removed the bracelet from my arm and shoved it into her purse. "I'm just paying attention to the details Bella. I'll give it back once their gone." The gravity of the situation was not lost on me.

I was frightened out of my mind. I felt bad that I would have to pretend that I was still in love with Edward knowing full well that he never stopped loving me. I didn't want to hurt anyone, but I knew that this was necessary to save us all. The Cullens and the wolves were not yet prepared to deal with an onslaught by the Volturi. They still needed time to train, plan, and strategize. If I wanted a long and happy life with Jacob, then it was my duty to buy us some time.

Before I knew it, Alice pulled up to their beautiful mansion. She sped to my door and helped me out taking my hand in hers reassuringly. We looked into each other's eyes as if to say, 'game faces on,' and walked in through the front door.

The Cullens were all in the living room standing around a petit and demonic looking Jane, while Alec lounged on the couch as if he couldn't be bothered to be social. Jane had an amused smirk on her face as if to say that she took great pleasure in being able to cause such tension and discomfort. My heart felt like it was literally beating out of my chest and I knew everyone in the room could hear it. Jane and Alec looked me up and down, sinister smiles on their faces.

"Ah, Bella's here. Wonderful. How are you?"

"Err…fine…thank you," I mumbled.

Alice dropped my hand after giving me another reassuring squeeze and moved to embrace Jasper like it was any other day. Before I had a chance to mourn the loss of her strong touch, Edward embraced me, kissing me softly on the lips. I gasped in surprise but kept my eyes closed hoping to make our reunion seem as normal as possible. It was difficult to feel his cold lips on mine when I so longed for another's.

"Love, I've missed you. Did you have a nice time with Alice?"

I was still in shock from Edward's kiss and soon realized that I was failing miserably in keeping up the act. I embraced him back, wrapping my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest. I managed a warm smile.

"I missed you too Edward."

The resulting silence was deafening. I hoped that the awkwardness of the situation wasn't apparent to Jane and Alec.

"So, Jane," Alice said. "What brings you back to Forks? I must say I'm a little surprised. I mean, I didn't see you coming."

Jane giggled girlishly. Coming from anyone else it might have sounded sweet and endearing. Bur, hearing that innocent, child-like sound coming from a girl with blood-red eyes was downright unsettling.

"Oh Alice, we can't reveal all our secrets now, can we? Besides, you're all rather secretive yourselves. It's only fair."

I heard Edward's growl rumble from deep within his chest. He turned towards Jane, "We told you why Bella hasn't been changed yet. We're not keeping any secrets."

"Oh yes, why was that again? Something about her parents objecting to her marrying so young? I mean, come on, it's not like a wedding is necessary. She's your mate, _take_ her. Besides, her parents are just two insignificant humans. Humans can be dealt with rather effectively, in my experience."

I clung to Edward desperately as I whimpered, "No."

Growls and hisses emanated from the rest of the family. Jane held her hands up in mock surrender laughing hysterically. "I was just kidding. I know how you are all concerned with maintaining the proper reputation around your precious humans. Besides, it doesn't really matter what I think about your reasons for delay. What matters is what Aro thinks."

The gravity of her words sank in and the room fell silent. Alec focused on his finger nails looking bored.

"Well, is someone going to show us to our rooms?"

Esme motioned to Jane and Alec. "Of course, please follow me. We have two guest bedrooms on the second floor equipped with comfy sofas and entertainment units. I'm sure you'll be comfortable there."

Edward whispered in my ear, "Come on Bella, I'll help you get your things out of Alice's car."

There was nothing we could do but try to act as though there was nothing wrong. Carlisle nodded sympathetically in my direction before he followed Esme up the stairs. Jasper sat on the couch with Alice comforting her. Her lack of foresight into Jane and Alec's arrival had visibly upset her. Emmett and Rosalie attempted reassuring smiles for my benefit as they went up to their own room.

Edward guided me out to Alice's Porsche. He gave me a look that said "don't speak, they can hear you." He took my left hand in his and faster than I could blink I saw his mother's diamond ring adorning my finger. Pain was etched all over his face. My heart broke for the pain this charade was causing him. He smiled bitterly at me and reached into his pocket pulling out a piece of paper. He handed it to me hastily. It read:

_Please know that you can't speak freely when Jane and Alec are in the house. They're both doing a good job of blocking me from their minds, but I can tell they're suspicious that we're hiding something from them. They'll only be here for two days so we won't have to keep up this act for long._

I finished reading and nodded my understanding. He looked into the distance behind me and growled saying, "This is going to complicate things." I looked at him questioningly, but he simply took the piece of paper back and scribbled something else before handing it back to me.

_Jane and Alec are going to pay special attention to this. We can't take the chance of using more notes or trying to signal in any way. Whatever's about to happen please remember to play the role of my loving fiancé. The Volturi are just waiting for a reason to bring us down. Just remember, this is going to be hard. Please be strong and follow my lead._

I finished reading and looked up at him, feeling more confused than I did before. What was he talking about? He reached into the car and grabbed all of our shopping bags and turned towards the house. I was about to follow him when I heard the familiar hum of an engine. Suddenly, Edward's second message made sense.

I turned around and saw Jacob's Rabbit pull up onto the driveway. Oh God, no! My heart lodged itself within my throat. My Jacob was home. I had missed him so much and I never needed him more than I did at that moment. But, it was the worst possible time for him to come home. He was early. He wasn't supposed to come home for two more days. I didn't have a chance to explain to him what was going on, and I knew that Jane and Alec's presence would prevent me from explaining then. With their eyes and ears on the scene, there was no way I could give Jake a secret message to explain. It was the worst possible scenario.

I stood frozen, waiting for the inevitable drama to unfold. Edward dropped the bags and walked up to me, his arm wrapped protectively around my waist. Jacob got out of the car followed closely by Quil and Embry. They looked tense but still wore bright smiles on their faces. Jacob eyed me, seeming to take me all in, and smiled his brilliant smile. He walked towards me and said, "Thank God you're here Bells. I was so worried. I checked with Charlie and he said you were with Alice. Brady did some patrols earlier and picked up the scent of two…"

I couldn't let him finish that sentence. He was about to alert Jane and Alec to the existence of a powerful wolf pack. I had to distract him before he inadvertently blew this whole thing.

"Jake, what are you doing here? You need to go home."

His brow furrowed in confusion. "Bells, I was just telling you. Brady smelled…"

My voice rose in desperation, which I tried to play off as anger. "Jake, you know what? I don't want to hear it. You're not welcome here. You need to leave."

He looked hurt and pain clouded his features. "Is this some kind of joke? Because, it's not funny. Now, I came here for you. I haven't seen you in two weeks. Come on, let's go." He walked up to me and reached for my hand. I wanted nothing more than to feel his warm touch on my skin, but I knew it was impossible. One touch from him and I'd melt into his arms, letting the charade fall apart. Tears formed in my eyes as I thought of what I would need to say to him to get him to leave without exposing himself or his pack to danger.

"Jake, I don't know why you can't get this through your hard head. I worked things out with Edward. I'm with him now. You need to get over me because it's not going to work. Anything that we had was just temporary…it was a huge mistake…it didn't mean anything to me."

His mouth opened in shock. It was as if I was witnessing the exact moment that his heart ripped in two. I brought my left hand up to my face to wipe the tears away from my eyes. Jacob grabbed my hand as his eyes narrowed angrily. I followed his gaze and knew that he was looking at the engagement ring he'd seen me wear in the past.

"What the fuck is going on? I'm gone for two weeks and you're back with the Hundred Year Old Virgin?" Edward growled and even I heard snickers coming from the house. I had to get Jacob to leave but he just kept shouting. "Have you been playing me this whole time, or did you just realize recently that I wasn't worth your time?"

"Jake, you're my friend and I care about you. But, there's really nothing between us. I can't help the fantasies you've created in your mind, but I think you're delusional. I…_love_ Edward, and _only_ Edward. We're getting married after college. It's _always_ been him. I'm sorry if I led you on."

My heart broke into a million pieces as I watched Jacob's beautiful face crumple in pain and disbelief. Only he could heal my pain and there I was inflicting pain onto him. I was in danger of collapsing under the pressure. Edward seemed to notice and strengthened his hold around my waist, kissing me on the top of my head. I closed my eyes because I couldn't bear to see how Jacob would react to our closeness.

Edward spoke calmly, but authoritatively. "Jacob, I think I've been more than patient with your interference in my relationship with Bella. I've put up with you because she cares about you, as a _friend_. But, that's as far as it goes. Now, if you care about her like you say you do, then you'll leave. She doesn't want you here."

I was a coward. I looked down at my feet, afraid to see the pain I was causing the man I loved. The fact that this ruse was temporary did nothing to change the fact that it was cruel and hurtful. In an instant, Jacob lunged at Edward, only to be held back by Quil and Embry, while Emmett and Jasper suddenly appeared at the bottom of the porch stairs to back up Edward.

Jacob screamed with rage, "What the fuck did you do to her? She would never say…"

Edward released me from his embrace, moving me behind him as he walked towards an enraged Jacob. Edward's voice was calm and calculated. "Look Jacob, we have _guests_ and you're causing a scene. I suggest you let your friends take you home before my family has to escort you off the premises."

Jacob tore away from Quil and Embry. I feared he would phase and attack Edward exposing us all. I screamed in fear, but he pushed past Edward and threw himself at my feet instead. He knelt in front of me, his arms wrapped around my waist, tears spilling from his eyes. I was overwhelmed. This was where he belonged. His head rested against my chest and I feared that my bursting heart would betray me. He held me tight and looked up into my eyes tempting me to tell him everything I was holding back, for him, for us. My tears fell unabated down my face as I saw the spirit slowly crushed from his eyes.

"Bella, look me in the eye and tell me that you don't love me." He grabbed my hands and laced his fingers with mine. "Tell me that you don't melt when I touch you; that your heart doesn't beat for me. Tell me…"

I couldn't let him finish. I was falling apart fast. "Jake," I whimpered. "I…_don't_. Please let me go, you're scaring me. If you can't just be my friend, then I want you out of my life."

I pulled my fingers free from his hands and left him kneeling, broken on the ground as I walked into Edward's open arms. The pain was unbearable. I finally saw with my own eyes how I must have looked when Edward left me. I couldn't hold back the tears and I sobbed uncontrollably against Edward's chest. Jacob remained frozen in shock. His eyes were dazed and unfocused.

Quil and Embry walked up on either side of Jacob and lifted him up. I looked at them, pleading with my eyes for them to understand that this was all an act and necessary to save us all. Instead of understanding, I was met with fury and hatred. I questioned whether or not Jacob would ever forgive me. Was the damage done that night irrevocable?

There had to be a way to tell him that this was all an act. I knew it was dangerous, but I was desperate. I reached in my pocket for Edward's note. It didn't explain everything, but it would be enough for Jake to understand that I would never stop loving him. I crumpled the note and walked up to Quil, placing it in his hand saying, "Please, take care of him Quil."

He looked at the piece of paper in his hand for a second before throwing it down in disgust. "He doesn't need anything from _you_."

My hope vanished. Edward quickly retrieved the note and shoved it into his pocket looking at me disapprovingly. I knew I took a chance in exposing us all, but I just couldn't bear the pain I was causing Jacob. Edward sensed my despair and his cold arms embraced me again.

Jacob was guided into the backseat of his car while Quil kept an eye on him. Embry got behind the wheel and quickly peeled out, gravel spitting back onto our shins. I stood immobile, completely lost without my sunshine. I felt as though I had been thrown into perpetual night. Several minutes had passed when a heart-wrenching howl pierced the night. The howl was filled with so much pain and despair that it made my knees buckle. If it weren't for the fact that Edward was holding me up, I would have collapsed onto the ground.

Jane walked outside, her red eyes lit up in amusement. "Well, if this is how exciting Forks can get, I think we just may stay a while longer."

**A/N: Ooooh, another cliffy…don't be too angry with me. Please review. I love hearing from each and every one of you.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do NOT!!!**

**A/N: As usual, I just want to send a special shout out to all of my anonymous reviewers: Katieh, Kat, VampHunterD, Kim, and Kaley. Thank you so much for your kind words. I know the last chapter was pretty painful, but based on all the reviews and positive feedback, it's clear you all love the pain. Anyway, thank you so much for all of your support. It really means a lot to me. One final note, my story was nominated for two awards! Check out www(dot)the(hypen)Cullen(hyphen)awards(dot)yolasite(dot)com ****for more details. Voting starts July 6****th****. Special thanks to ****Jacobandme for the nomination.**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO **

Jacob's soul-piercing howl echoed through my mind. I felt as though there was an endless supply of tears behind my eyes. I was in danger of drowning in them. I was vaguely aware of the voices around me while shrouded in Edward's protective embrace. I couldn't help but feel cold, so cold.

Jane's catty, sickening-sweet voice grated against my nerves like nails on a chalkboard. "Well, if this is how exciting Forks can get, I think we just may stay a while longer."

_Great, just what I needed_. I buried my head against Edward's chest in an attempt to hide my despair. I just broke Jacob's heart. The last thing I needed was to worry about Jane and Alec snooping around longer. And how much longer were they planning on staying anyway? This couldn't go on indefinitely. I'd die first. Edward's hands rubbed up and down my back in a soothing and reassuring gesture.

Jane walked up to us, her eyes filled with curiosity. Alec trailed behind her like a silent shadow. "So, are you going to tell me who tall, dark, and sexy was? Or better yet, why was he all over your fiancé, Edward? I didn't realize you were so willing to share her. That's interesting news, indeed! I must say, he smelled a little strange, but other than that, I'd say he looked downright _delectable_."

She drew out the last word to make it painfully obvious that she was interested in making Jacob more than just a meal. My body stiffened with fury. How dare that bitch talk about My Jacob like he was a piece of meat. I didn't care if I couldn't take her. I didn't care if I would blow our whole cover. I wanted to tear her eyes out and put her in her place. My body tensed for the attack. But just as the adrenaline began flowing through my veins, a wave of calm washed over me. I leaned heavily against Edward for support as I saw Jasper and Alice on the porch, eyeing me warily. I had been so blinded by anger that I was willing to destroy us all in a moment of weakness. I nodded my thanks and clung to Edward for dear life.

Edward had a look of disgust on his face when he addressed Jane. "God, would it be possible for you to keep those vile thoughts to yourself? Jacob happens to be a very dear friend of Bella's. He's had a hard time accepting that she only wants to be his friend. He's obsessed with her. As you saw, she cut him out of her life for good, so he's nothing for which you should concern yourself."

"Hmm, why would your fiancé need to get so close to another man? I mean, the guy looks a lot older than her. Maybe she really does have feelings for him and you're just jealous. Not that it would work out of course. I think we all know Bella's choice in the matter; become a vampire or die. I don't remember Aro saying anything about running away with a half-naked _Indian_ as an option."

I did my best to distract Jane from thinking too hard about Jacob. "He's just a friend, really. And, after tonight, I'll never see him again. Especially not with the way he disrespected my relationship with Edward. Edward is forever. That guy was…well, just a guy. He means nothing."

I was numb. My own voice sounded dead and lifeless to my ears. I watched Jane as she processed my declaration. After a few silent moments she merely shrugged. Edward spoke next answering Jane's unasked question.

"If you two would like to go hunting, you'll have to do it as far away from here as possible. We don't need you attracting any undue attention our way. I'll loan you one of my cars if you'd like."

"Ah, Edward you read my mind." Jane giggled at her own joke and winked at Edward. "Yes, that would be lovely, thank you."

Edward motioned Jane and Alec to follow him as he led me by the hand over towards the garage. I had yet to hear Alec say anything and I had to admit his silence was unnerving. It was clear why he and Jane made such an effective team. Jane could wear you down with her acidic personality while Alec's stoic silence and observant eyes kept you constantly on your toes and ill at ease. Luckily, I didn't have to fear Jane's crippling pain inducing powers. But, I had never learned what Alec could do and that made me even more nervous. Edward opened the garage door and Jane walked in admiring the luxury vehicles at her disposal. I suppose, in Volterra, one didn't really need to drive when your dinner came to you. I groaned as my stomach turned at the memory of all those innocent people being led to the slaughter while I stood by and did nothing. I was helpless then to stop it. It hadn't escaped my notice that I was still helpless.

Jane had moved towards the back of the garage when Edward's voice roared and brought me back to the present. "No, anyone but that one!"

"And why not," Jane asked. "It's clear it hasn't been driven. Why shouldn't I drive it? What's so special about it?"

I had no idea what they were talking about. I glanced into the garage and saw a car in the very back shrouded with a car cover. I had never noticed that particular car before and thought it must be new. Edward hadn't mentioned to me that he had bought a new car. I wondered why he was so adamant about Jane not driving it.

Edward took the keys to his Vanquish and threw them at Jane. "Here, take my car. That other one's off limits. It's a gift."

Jane caught the keys glaring at Edward. She didn't like being told no by anyone. "Fine, we'll be gone for a while. Don't bother waiting up." She winked and then laughed before calling to her brother. "Come brother dear."

They got into Edward's Vanquish and peeled out down the driveway. Once we heard the tires screech onto the main road, it felt like all the tension we'd been holding inside had been released. I had used up so much energy in trying to remain calm that once they left my body finally succumbed to the physical exhaustion. Edward picked me up and carried me inside. I was too tired to protest.

Edward placed me on the couch while Alice and Esme sat on either side of me, their arms wrapped around me protectively. I felt Jasper use his abilities to help maintain a level of calm despite the apparent anxiety felt by all. I was grateful for my surrogate family. I felt guilty for thinking I was so willing to give them up when they were so quick to do anything to protect me.

Carlisle broke the silence first. "Bella, you'll be staying here tonight. Alice has already called Charlie to let him know that you'll be spending the weekend here. Alice says that Jane has decided that they're now planning on staying for two weeks, at least."

_At least?_ I groaned and Esme held me tighter, kissing me softly on the top of my head. Carlisle continued with a frown on his face.

"We can make this work Bella. Emmett and Rosalie will go over to your place once Charlie's asleep. They'll air the place out and remove anything that will link you to Jacob. We can't take the chance that Alec and Jane might try to sneak a peak at your living situation without making the necessary adjustments."

The thought of Jane or Alec in my home made me nauseous. I didn't know how I'd feel going back to my room completely devoid of reminders of Jacob. But, I knew it was necessary. The Volturi didn't know about the wolves and now wasn't the time for them to find out. I would do anything to keep Jacob and the pack safe, even if I had to break my own heart in the process. The thought of Charlie coming into contact with Jane terrified me. I had to do something to protect him too.

Alice reached for my hand. "Don't worry Bella. If they ever show up you can tell Charlie that they're relatives of Carlisle's, visiting from Italy. They're not concerned with him as long as they're convinced that you're still with Edward and that you'll be changed soon. Though, we really need to work on a better story. The reasons we gave for you not being changed yet were flimsy at best."

I looked at Alice, the panic bubbling to the surface. Edward growled at her reprovingly.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled. "But don't worry, Bella. We're going to take care of you. Now, first things first, you need to eat something. You haven't eaten in hours."

"No, I'm fine. I'm not hungry."

"Bella," Edward chimed in. "You really should eat. I can make you something."

After everything I had just been through, did they really think I could eat? I just had my best friend, my lover, down on his knees in front of me begging me to tell him that I loved him, and I couldn't. Yeah, I'm supposed to have an appetite after that? I doubted I'd ever eat again. I took my anger out on them.

"I said NO! I'm not hungry. I wish you both would just listen to me for once. I'm an adult for Christ's sake. I'm not hungry."

Edward and Alice both looked hurt and shocked by my outburst. The rest of the Cullens all fell silent. I instantly felt guilty. "Look, I'm sorry. I just…"

"No," Emmett argued. "Bella, you've let these two push you around long enough. We all know you're under a lot of stress right now. Don't you dare feel bad for telling them off. They could both use getting knocked down a peg every once in a while."

I smiled at Emmett. He couldn't help but act like my protective big brother. I was grateful to him for always encouraging me to speak up for myself. I realized that if Jacob and Emmett could ever see past their differences, they'd probably become fast friends.

Carlisle tried to ease the tension in the room. "Bella, there's nothing we can do tonight. I'll try to call Sam to fill him in on what's been going on. I'm sure you want to try to contact Jacob, right?"

I nodded and Carlisle smiled before continuing. "Alright then, you'll be staying in Edward's room. We all have things to attend to so we'll give you some privacy."

I walked into Edward's room and threw myself onto his bed. I immediately curled up into a ball, clutching my legs to my stomach. The Cullens meant well. They tried to reassure me that everything would be fine. But it wasn't. In a matter of minutes, Jane and Alec went from planning on spending two days here to two weeks. Why Alice couldn't see them coming in the first place was still a mystery to us all. But, it didn't matter anymore. The damage had already been done. At that moment, the only thing that would make me feel better was hearing Jacob's voice.

I grabbed my cell phone from my pocket and dialed his number. I hoped beyond hope that he'd answer so that I could explain everything to him. The phone rang four times, eight times.

"Come on Jake, pick up," I muttered under my breath.

After the twentieth ring I gave up. If he was home, he wasn't answering. I sat on the bed contemplating my options. I thought, to hell with this and went to grab my keys only to be reminded that Alice had driven me today. I needed to get to La Push. I needed to explain myself to Jake, in person. I needed to convince him that I would never betray him like he thought I did. Maybe I could borrow Emmett's car. I reached for the doorknob just as it turned and the door swung open. Edward walked in, a sad look on his face.

"I'm sorry love. We can't let you do that."

_Damn Alice!_

"Why not?" I cried like a petulant child. "Jane and Alec aren't even around. Let me go talk to Jake then I can go home and change before I come back here. They'll never know."

I moved past him towards the door. He simply closed the door and stood in front of it barring my way.

"It's not that simple and you know it Bella. We can't risk losing sight of your future with Alec and Jane in the picture. It's just too dangerous. We'll find a way to let the wolves know, but for tonight, you just need to stay here."

He made sense, but I was in no mood to see that. I'd already been separated from Jacob for two weeks. Then, the moment I saw him, instead of the reunion I'd envisioned, I tore his heart into a million pieces, destroying my own in the process. His pain was eating me alive and I needed to do something, anything, to take the pain away.

"Well you're going to have to force me to stay, because I'm going."

I realized the stupidity of that statement as soon as the words left my mouth. It was laughable to think that I could get past Edward or any of the Cullens if they didn't want me to. My threat was hollow and we both knew it.

I sighed in defeat. If he didn't want me to leave, there was nothing I could do about it. I was filled with despair. I needed some hope to cling to; hope that Jacob didn't believe what I told him. I needed to believe that I hadn't ruined him completely.

My voice came out as a hoarse whisper. "Edward, what was Jacob thinking? Does he hate me? Oh God, I just can't bear it, it hurts so much." The tears returned to my eyes.

Edward stepped towards me, his hands on my arms. "Love, please don't cry. It doesn't matter what he thinks _now_. We'll fix it."

I was dizzy and overwrought. I leaned into Edward's open arms for support. He picked me up and carried me back to the bed, kissing my forehead lovingly. He set me down helping me out of my shoes and socks. I lay down, resting my head on the pillow, my eyes staring off into space.

"Bella, you really should eat something. I can…"

"Edward, I don't feel like eating anything. I'm a big girl. If I'm hungry, I'll let you know. And, while we're on the subject, you've got to stop picking up and carrying me around. I know I'm vulnerable at the moment, but I'm not a child. If I wanted to lie down, I would."

Edward stood next to the bed, fidgeting with his clothes and nervously running his hand through his hair. I turned my attention to the ceiling as he climbed onto the bed next to me. I looked at him questioningly. "I'm sorry Bella. But, if we're going to play the part, then it should probably start now. I haven't touched this bed since…well, they need to know that I've been lying on it with you. Would you like to wear something a little more comfortable?"

As soon as he finished speaking, there was a light knock on the door. Edward smirked and rolled his eyes as he opened the door to find a new pair of pajamas, folded and ready to wear just lying on the floor in the hallway.

"Alice," we both said at the same time.

I got dressed quickly in the bathroom. When I walked back towards the bed, I saw that Edward had already changed into a t-shirt and flannel pants. He drew the covers back for me and tucked me in."

"Would you like me to hum your lullaby?"

"No, thank you. I'd rather just lay here."

As soon as the words were out of my mouth I knew I shouldn't have said them. His lullaby used to be the only thing that would let me fall into a peaceful sleep. I'd already left him, and now I just kept hurting him at every opportunity. But, I knew that I couldn't give in. I didn't want to lead him on. We were already playing with fire. Pretending to still be in love with someone who was undeniably still in love with me was tempting fate.

"I'm sorry Edward. I know this is hard for you too. But, I just want to rest now."

He lay next to me, stroking my hair soothingly. I thought I might be able to actually fall asleep until I heard him sigh deeply.

"What? What is it?"

"Oh, it's nothing love. I was just thinking how strange the two of you are. You and Jacob that is."

That piqued my interest. I sat up in the bed and looked at Edward. "Well, go on. What do you mean?"

"Well, he claims to love you more than life itself, and you've told him you feel the same numerous times. But, the one time you have to lie and tell him you don't love him, that's the time he focuses on. He just lets you go. It's ironic, really."

He looked off towards the picture window, seemingly lost in thought. Did he even understand what he just said? I was so angry. For the first time in a long time, I wished I was a vampire just so I could smack that smug look off of his face. My pulse accelerated dangerously and I took big, calming breaths to center myself before I spoke. Edward's eyes shifted in my direction, concern on his face.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"You are unbelievable. Do you know that? It's…beyond words!"

"What did I…"

"Oh my God! You don't even know, do you? You basically just said that Jacob doesn't love me enough because he believed me when I told him, to his face, that I loved you instead! And I suppose the irony lies in the fact that I did the same with you, yes?"

I rose to my knees on the bed so that I could glare down at him. Edward's eyes were wide with shock as he stared up at me. I had never yelled at him like this before, but with all that had happened that night, I couldn't hold back.

"Who the hell made you the expert on love? So, based on your astute observation, clearly I didn't love you enough when you left me. I should have known that you were lying to my face for my own good? I mean, after Italy, you had the nerve to chastise me for being so foolish as to not see through your lies. Well, let me tell you something Edward, you've got a lot to learn about love!"

"Bella, I didn't mean to imply…"

"But you did. And that's the problem. What you failed to see then, and what you still fail to see, is that love is based on _trust_. I trusted you, wholeheartedly. When you told me you didn't love me anymore, I believed you. Yes, my insecurities played a role, but you broke my heart and I believed you. I trusted you, so of course I would believe you. You're the one who didn't trust me enough to love you regardless of what happened. It left a scar Edward. And now I've done the same thing to Jacob. Granted, my reasons aren't as selfish as yours."

Edward's eyes narrowed in anger. I had never seen that expression on his face when it was directed at me. "Excuse me? You think I was selfish? I left to save you. I wanted to give you the life you deserved. I was dying inside to let you go. But, I knew it was the right thing to do. That was all for you, not for me."

"And yet, if you had it to do all over again, you wouldn't have left. Think what you want Edward, but what you did was, at least partly, selfishly motivated. You left me because _you_ couldn't bear to see me give up my human life, even though it was what I wanted. _You_ couldn't live with yourself if I was hurt by someone or something that you could have saved me from, even though I was perfectly aware of the risks involved. _You_ thought that I couldn't possibly love you as much as you loved me so you let me go so that I would move on. Instead you broke me leaving me lifeless for months. All of that was because of things _you_ wanted or needed to assuage your own guilt. You never once considered that I was perfectly honest with you when I said I wanted to spend forever with you. You doubted my love."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "So, I don't understand Bella. Are you saying that you're still angry because you could have been a vampire by now? I thought you were happy with your mongrel. If I wouldn't have left, you never would have had him. You can't have both worlds. God knows I was willing to give it to you. So, what is it that you want?"

I was so exhausted and confused. I hadn't meant to drudge up the past. Edward had just made me so angry. But, I had to admit that I was mostly just angry with myself. I couldn't help but think that there must have been some other way to get the truth to Jacob. I could have tried harder, thought smarter. I had failed him, and the fact that Edward doubted Jacob's love for me just set me off. I felt guilty for my own behavior and I was throwing past transgressions in Edward's face in an attempt to make myself feel better. It was pathetic and cruel.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to open old wounds. It's just that you questioned Jacob's love for me and that brought up all my old doubts and feelings of inadequacy."

I lay back down on the bed and reached for his hand. The muscles in his face relaxed and he looked at me with his beautiful eyes, waiting for me to continue.

"It's just that I feel horrible for what I did to Jacob. I broke his trust in me. And I'm just scared that I've caused irreparable damage. Even if I can fix this, I know I've left scars. And I know from personal experience that those scars don't fade. They're a permanent reminder of stupid mistakes and needless pain."

Edward wrapped me in his arms, pressing my head against his chest. "Oh Bella, I'm so sorry. All I've ever done is hurt you. I didn't mean what I said earlier about Jacob. I read his mind. He's torn up inside and he's hurting, but he loves you. It's not like you can stop loving Bella Swan."

I lifted my head and looked him directly in the eyes and said, "And you know I've never stopped loving you, right?"

He sighed deeply. "Yes, I do. But it's not the same."

"No, it's not the same. But you've never left my heart. Please don't ever think that."

He nodded and smiled in understanding, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. "Bella, can I ask you something?"

I nodded.

"If I hadn't left, would you be lying here in my bed because you wanted to be?"

"I honestly can't answer that. _Maybe_? But, I know you Edward. If you didn't leave me then, you would have left me eventually. Sure, you'd come back after awhile. But, without Jacob, who knows what you would have come back to."

He held me tightly for a few more minutes. "Bella, you better get some rest now. Alice says Jane and Alec will be back soon. Don't worry about anything tonight. We'll fix this."

I lay down letting him comfort me in his cold embrace. But, as soon as my head hit the pillow, my mind wandered back to all the things I'd said to Jacob and the soul-gutting pain in his eyes. I thought I'd never get any rest until I all of a sudden felt extremely lethargic. I fought the onslaught of sleep for only a moment so that I could whisper, "Thanks Jasper." Then I let the peace take me.

My Jasper-induced sleep was dreamless and restful. But, it was over too soon. When I woke up, all the unresolved feelings rushed back full force to my waking mind. Before panic could set in, Edward's strong arms held me tight in a reassuring embrace.

He kissed me on the forehead saying, "Good morning, love." Before I could respond he moaned in my ear, "Mmm, not now beautiful. We need to get you off to work."

Huh? I stared at him like he had grown another head. He gave me a pleading look and shrugged his shoulders helplessly. And then I realized, of course, Jane and Alec were here and he was acting like any boyfriend would with his fiancé waking up in his arms. There was no room for mistakes. As much as I longed to wake up in Jacob's arms, that simply wasn't an option. I couldn't take a break from my role as Edward's devoted fiancé. Not when all our lives depended on this charade. I nodded my understanding and got out of bed to get ready for the day. Thanks to Alice, there was a complete outfit set out on the countertop in the bathroom.

After I finished getting ready I headed downstairs to find the Cullens gathered in the living room. Alec was lounging on the couch reading a book, completely oblivious to the rest of the people in the room. I smelled the aroma of a delicious breakfast being made and followed my nose into the kitchen. Edward was putting the finishing touches on my French toast while Jane watched the whole process in rapt fascination.

Conscious of the role I had to play, I walked up to Edward with a warm smile on my face. I leaned in to kiss him on the cheek, but he turned his head at the last moment so that our lips met in a clumsy kiss. I pulled away quickly, the blush rising to my cheeks. His hand moved to my lower back as he guided me to the barstool.

I ate my food because it was expected of me. It filled my stomach but the taste left no satisfaction on my tongue. Inside, I felt like I was shut down. I was awake, my body was functioning, my mouth was moving, but inside, I was numb. I felt like a doll that was being dressed up and manipulated into situations I had no control over. I reminded myself that Edward was suffering too and that he couldn't possibly be enjoying this situation any more than I was. I told myself that, but the twinkle I saw in his eyes when he kissed me, had me worried.

After breakfast, I convinced Edward to drive me home so that I could pick up my truck. As we drove into town, I remembered when I used to wish this drive would last forever. At that moment, with Jane watching us from the backseat, I couldn't wait for the ride to be over.

Jane had insisted that she tag along to get a better understanding of the mundane human life I lived. I was like a science experiment to her. She had argued with Edward that she was changed so long ago that she remembered nothing of what it was like to be human. She couldn't understand why anyone would want to be human when they could enjoy the immortality and power that came with being a vampire. She was intrigued by my lack of enthusiasm and wanted to see what was so great about my life that I would postpone becoming like them.

Alec was spending the day following Alice and Jasper around town. I had a feeling these two wouldn't give any of us much peace during their stay. Sensing my anxiety, Edward held my hand in his and kissed it. I smiled my thanks and was instantly relieved when I realized we had pulled up to my house. I breathed another sigh of relief when I saw that Charlie wasn't home. I didn't want him to have any contact with the Volturi, if I could help it.

Edward helped me out of the car. I politely said good-bye to Jane who remained in the backseat looking like a spoiled, chauffeured princess. Edward and I walked hand in hand towards my truck.

"Bella, you know I'd be happy to drive you to work and pick you up when you're done."

I opened my mouth to reply just as Jane's head poked out of the back window. Edward groaned, hearing what Jane was about to say. "Edward, you let your fiancé drive around in _that_? And why does she have to work anyway? Don't you provide enough for her?"

I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth. Luckily, Edward's body shielded me from Jane's observant eyes. He kissed me gently and turned towards Jane.

"Jane, not that it's any of your business, but Bella's best friend fixed that truck up for her. She loves it and she's going to drive it until the thing dies. And, for the record, Bella works because she wants to. She knows she'll be fully taken care of once she's like us. But, for now, she needs to keep up appearances for her parents. If she didn't work it would raise their suspicions."

Jane smirked at his outburst. "None of my business? We'll see about that. So, is this the same _best friend_ that was hanging all over Bella last night? Hmm, Edward, it looks like you don't have much control over this situation. I think Aro will find this all rather interesting."

Edward growled in frustration and turned back to me. He caressed my face in his hands, leaned in, and kissed me passionately. He bent me backwards as he deepened the kiss, catching me completely off guard. I whimpered against his lips, trying to pull away while still maintaining the charade.

"Good-bye love, I'll miss you. See you tonight."

I was speechless. Edward walked away with his crooked grin on his face. He drove off, with Jane in tow. I got in my truck and headed towards Newton's going over what had just happened. A part of me wanted to argue that Edward was taking our play-acting too far. I saw passion in his eyes when he kissed me. He looked like he was enjoying this too much. I mentally kicked myself for feeling sorry for him. I hoped that I would have time alone with him later that evening to reinforce that my feelings for him hadn't changed. He needed to understand that my love for him was purely platonic and that no one, not even he, could come between Jacob and me.

I had to make it clear that I wasn't interested in rekindling our romance. I hated to think that Edward would think I was that fickle. That after everything I put us through when I was plagued with doubt and indecision, that I would run back to him the moment things got rough with Jacob. If that was what he thought, Edward was in for a rude awakening.

I got to work feeling utterly depressed and dejected. My boyfriend thought I wanted nothing to do with him while my ex-boyfriend thought I was contemplating giving him a second chance. Logic told me that things could be worse, but from my standpoint I couldn't believe it.

I spent the entire day in a daze, just going through the motions. I called Jacob, every spare chance I had, still no answer. When I couldn't get through to him, I tried the only other wolf I knew who might take my call. When I called Leah, all I got was her voicemail indicating that she'd be out of town for at least the next week. Any hope that I had of fixing things with Jacob was slipping through my fingers.

I drove home, my spirits low. The only bright side being that I was temporarily free from the critical eyes of Jane and Alec while I was home. I sighed as I walked into the kitchen and prepared dinner for myself and Charlie. Normally, Jacob would come over and watch me cook while stealing food behind my back or sneaking kisses and caresses when Charlie wasn't looking. The complete lack of contact with him was weighing on me heavily.

I left dinner in the oven while I went upstairs to pack a few things for my stay with Edward. At least I had Charlie as an excuse to stay at my own home during the week. Of course, that meant that Edward would have to stay here with me. Awkward couldn't even describe that potentially volatile situation.

Immediately upon entering my room I felt a void. Rosalie and Emmett had done their job all too well. They didn't leave a single memento of Jacob's existence. It was as if he was erased completely from my life. I felt short of breath as I collapsed on my bed and let the despair wash over me. I was miserable without Jacob, even more so knowing that I had caused him so much pain. He had to know that I was lost without My Sun. I wondered what he was doing without me. If he was as miserable as I was. Tears flooded my eyes and I clung to my pillow for comfort.

I pulled myself together when I heard Charlie walk in the front door. I didn't want him to know that anything was wrong. I hoped the Volturi would leave before Charlie figured out anything was amiss. But, I knew two weeks was a long time to keep something that big from Charlie. The less he knew about current events, the safer he would be.

"Hey Bells, dinner smells great!"

I yelled down the stairs, "Thanks Dad. I'll be down in a minute."

I rinsed my face off in the bathroom and then hastily packed my overnight back and headed downstairs. I dumped my bag by the front door and moved into the kitchen to take the food out of the oven. As I was plating the food I heard Charlie pick up the phone and dial. A few seconds later, he was talking and I thought my heart would stop.

"Oh, hey son, is Billy around?"

_Jacob_. Without thinking I dove for the phone in Charlie's hand tripping over the dining chair and fell to the ground. I ignored the pain and crawled towards an astonished looking Charlie.

"Bells, what the hell? Are you…"

I grabbed the phone and practically screamed into the receiver, "Jake! Jake, oh God, please, it's not what you think. I had to…"

The line went dead before I could finish. I hung up and called back right away only to hear a busy signal. Damn it! If I could just get him to listen to me for a few minutes, I'd be able to explain everything.

Charlie helped me up off the floor and picked up the chair I'd knocked over. He checked me over for injuries. Luckily, I had only bruised my knees and hips when I fell; no bloodshed.

"Bells, what the hell was that about? What's going on?"

I wiped the tears from my eyes and sighed. "It's nothing Dad. Jake and I just had a misunderstanding and I wanted to explain things to him."

His brows furrowed in concern. "That didn't sound like nothing to me. Why don't you just go to him and work things out?"

"Dad, it's complicated. Look, I've got to go. I'm supposed to meet Alice. I'll be home tomorrow night."

I grabbed my keys and headed towards the front door. I picked up my bag and was about to leave when Charlie called out, "Bells, what about dinner?"

"I'm not hungry anymore. See you tomorrow."

The next day I decided to write a long letter to Jacob explaining everything that was going on and assuring him that my feelings for him would never change. I poured my heart and soul into that letter and gave it to Charlie to take to Jacob. It was juvenile, sending letters through Charlie, but Jacob hadn't left me many other options. Jacob wouldn't take my calls, and I wouldn't dare go to La Push with Alice and the Volturi watching me like a hawk.

A few days later I went home after work only to find my letter in the mailbox, unopened and unread. There was no postage on it which meant he came here to drop it off. My heart raced at the thought of him outside my house. But, then the thought of him being so close, yet so distant brought renewed tears to my eyes. I put a stamp on the letter and sent it back, hoping my persistence would pay off. I was rewarded with nothing.

A week went by and I still had no contact with Jacob. I wasn't eating and my sleep was filled with nightmares about becoming a vampire while the wolves I loved were slaughtered. I was such a wreck that the Cullens thought it best that I stay home as much as possible to hide my despair from the prying eyes of Jane and Alec. Carlisle had had no luck getting in touch with the wolves. They didn't answer his calls or his letters. After the incident with the Denali clan, he wasn't about to cross onto their land in an attempt to explain the situation. My last hope faded.

Charlie was worried sick about me. Apparently, Billy wasn't saying anything other than the fact that Jacob and I were fighting. I hoped that meant he still thought I cared for his son, but I couldn't be sure. Needless to say, Jacob wasn't home much and Charlie worried about him too.

Edward was a great help to me. He spent every night with me in my room, consoling me and promising me that things would get better. Of course, though it was all part of the act that he stay there with me, I knew how much it meant to him to have this time with me. He took great pride in the fact that he was the one person who understood my pain and could offer me solace. But, I didn't want to lead him on. I was vulnerable and needed support, but I didn't need him thinking that he was anything more than a wonderful friend to me in my time of need. Whenever we were alone, I made sure to quickly curb his tendency to be overly affectionate. All in all, he was a great friend and a strong shoulder to cry on.

Edward was so kind and caring. He had grown and matured so much in the past few months and it was nice to see those changes first-hand. He was attentive without being overbearing. He offered advice instead of telling me what I should do. But, most importantly, he treated me as an equal. It was a new dynamic that I was excited to explore once things got back to normal; if they ever did.

A few days later, I was beginning to crack under the pressure. Jane and Alec had me on edge constantly. The only thing that kept me going was the thought that I was keeping their focus trained on me and not on the wolves. Jacob still wasn't answering my calls, but he also hadn't sent back my letter. That could mean he either read it or threw it away. I prayed with my whole heart that it was the former and that he was just waiting for the Volturi to leave before coming to see me. Of course, that was just a childish hope. If he had read the letter, he'd know what was going on and he'd call me. And my phone wasn't ringing.

I woke up one morning alone, after a particularly rough night. Nightmares haunted my dreams and Edward was away for the night hunting. When he was around, it was easier not to focus on my pain. But, he didn't come close to My Sun.

I sluggishly got dressed and ready for work before heading downstairs for breakfast. Charlie joined me moments later pouring himself some coffee and eyeing me cautiously over his paper. I managed to swallow a couple of spoonfuls of cereal and nibbled on my toast before I gave up. I hadn't had much of an appetite for two weeks, and it was beginning to take its toll on my body. I was pale and exhausted with dark circles under my eyes. My tightest clothes were literally hanging off of my gaunt frame.

I noticed Charlie kept sneaking glances in my direction, but he hadn't uttered a single word.

"Dad, what is it? You keep staring at me. Do I have something on my face?"

He sighed heavily and put his paper down on the table.

"Bells, what's going on between you and Edward?"

My spoon clattered down to the table. That was the last thing I expected him to say. "What do you mean? Edward and I are friends."

I saw the color rise to Charlie's cheeks as he glared at me. "Bells, don't lie to me. People have seen you all around town with that boy, hugging, kissing, and god knows what else. What, Jacob's gone for two weeks and you drop him like a bad habit? I thought you really cared about him. How could you treat him like that? I have to say that I'm really disappointed in you."

That hit me right in the gut. I loved Charlie and it was only a few weeks ago that he was telling me how proud he was of me. True, what was going on was beyond my control, but he didn't know that. He _couldn't_ know that. I hurt everyone who loved me. I couldn't say anything to defend myself so I lashed out at him in utter helplessness.

"Dad, you don't know what you're talking about."

I stood up, pushing my chair away from me in my anger and brushed past Charlie towards the front door. His chair scraped across the linoleum as he got up to follow me.

"Well, I'm trying to understand Bells, but you're not making it easy. You haven't been yourself lately. You aren't eating, you're not sleeping, and you're not talking to the one person who makes you happier than I've ever seen you. You're constantly looking over your shoulder like you're being watched. I'm trying to understand why you're wasting your time _again_ with that Cullen boy. Your mom is worried about you too. You haven't been returning her calls or responding to her emails. She can't understand why you're acting this way. Bells, are you doing drugs?"

"What? No, I'm not on drugs! Jesus, Dad, I don't need this right now. It's none of your business what I do, or who I do it with. Look, I have to go or I'll be late for work."

I slammed the door behind me and ran straight to my truck. It was pouring rain and in my haste, I left my umbrella behind. This day just kept getting worse. Once safe and warm in the cab I broke down in tears. I wanted to run back inside and apologize to Charlie for being out of line. He was just concerned for me. Yes, my behavior had been questionable lately. But there were extenuating circumstances behind them that he just couldn't know about. He was disappointed by the way I was treating Jacob, well that made two of us. I suppose it should have bothered me that Charlie immediately took Jacob's side. But, since I knew the truth of the matter, I couldn't blame him. Charlie had already proved more observant than I gave him credit for and he was bound to ask more questions that I just couldn't answer. Avoidance was the only tactic I could use.

I was crumbling under the pressure. I had to keep track of so many lies that I couldn't think straight. All I wanted to do was talk to my best friend, _My Jacob_. But, I couldn't. Edward was nowhere to be found and my parents were both disappointed in me and thought I was on drugs. Oh, and to top it all off, the Volturi were waiting for one slip-up from me to take my life and the lives of everyone I loved.

I had to get going. I could sit there for days and dwell on the miserable situation I was in, but that wouldn't change anything. I started my truck and noted immediately that the engine was acting unusually sluggish. It would just figure that O_ld Reliable_ would fail me now too.

I worked all morning at Newton's. There weren't many customers so I didn't have much to occupy my mind. Occasionally I had a strange feeling that I was being watched. I put on a happy face in case Jane or Alec decided to check up on me. Since the place was dead, Mrs. Newton showed me some mercy and let me go home early.

I walked out to my truck quickly as the rain hadn't let up. I instantly had the sensation that I was being watched again. My eyes quickly scanned the adjacent woods, but I saw nothing out of the ordinary. It just figured that paranoia would be added to my ever growing list of problems.

I turned the key in the ignition and the engine sputtered for a second then died. I tried it again and this time it made a wheezing sound. I turned my key a final time hitting the gas to try to rev the engine when I heard a loud pop and smoke crept out from under the hood.

I screamed and slammed my hands against the wheel in frustration. "No, no, no, NO!!!!"

I couldn't help but think, not my truck! Not the truck that Jacob rebuilt with his own hands. I'd already lost him. I couldn't lose the one thing I had to remind me of him. I knew that Jacob would be able to fix this if he were here. That's what he did best, he fixed things. Angry tears flooded my eyes as I reached for the phone. I dialed the one person I knew would come the moment I called.

Edward answered on the first ring. "Bella, I'm on my way."

_Alice, of course. _

Within five minutes, Edward's shiny Volvo pulled up next to my truck in the parking lot. When I didn't acknowledge his presence, Edward opened my car door and pulled me into his strong embrace.

The tears I had been fighting fell from my eyes like a waterfall. I clung to Edward like he was my life preserver in storming seas. I couldn't speak, I was crying so hard.

"Love, shh, what is it? What's wrong? I'm here now."

"Oh Edward, I just can't take it anymore. It's just too much. I'm so tired of this charade. I'm in constant fear and I'm feeling like I'm being watched _all_ the time. I had this huge fight with Charlie this morning. My parents think I'm some kind of druggie slut…"

"Shh, of course they don't."

"Well, it doesn't matter anymore, because they're disappointed in me and I've failed them. I've become the person I didn't ever want to be again and I hate it! I hurt Jacob and I'm hurting you everyday. I mean, what's the point of all this? The Volturi are just too powerful. Even if they buy this whole act we've been putting on, what's to stop them from coming back? Why are we fighting so hard when I'm doomed either way? I just want this all to end!"

"Bella, please." He kissed me on my forehead then lightly on my lips. That small intimacy had become so common between us over the past two weeks that I didn't even fight him on it. I didn't have the energy. "It's going to be okay Bella. They won't be here forever. We'll protect you, we'll find a way. And please stop worrying about me. I love being able to spend this time with you. I'm only suffering because you're so sad."

He held me tight in his arms, his hands tracing soothing circles on my back. "Come on, let's get you out of the rain. I'll take you home with me. Rosalie and Emmett will take care of the truck. If it can be fixed, she can do it."

We drove back to the Cullen's. I kept looking at the side mirrors to see if anyone was following. When Edward asked what I was doing I told him it was nothing. I was already paranoid. I didn't want him thinking I was crazy.

I cleaned up and put on a fresh pair of jeans and a comfy flannel. When I got downstairs Edward suggested that we snuggle on the couch and watch some movies. Since it was still storming outside, I thought that it was a great idea. He made some popcorn and draped a blanket on me while he wrapped me in his arms. The house was eerily quiet. Everyone, including Jane and Alec were out and about.

Several hours had passed and I had barely moved a muscle. The popcorn sat untouched and Edward continually stroked my arms in a soothing manner. Before nightfall, Emmett and Rosalie had returned briefly to tell me that my truck was a lost cause. It was an old, rusty, inanimate object, but it meant so much to me. How was I going to get to school when the semester started? I couldn't even think about what I was going to do without it.

I must have dozed off because I woke up to the sound of Edward's cell phone ringing. It was dark outside and the storm still raged on. I heard Edward speak softly and quickly before hanging up. I groggily asked, "Edward, who was that on the phone?"

"That was Alice. She said that Jane and Alec should be here in just a few minutes. Now, Bella, I didn't want to bother you with this earlier, but I have been able to pick up a little more of what Jane and Alec have been thinking lately. They're suspicious. They're not too convinced that we're as devoted to each other as we should be. We need them to think we're…_really_ passionate about each other. We don't need to remind them any more about Jacob. So, as soon as they get here, we need to really prove them wrong. Can you do that for me? Can you do that for Jacob?"

"Of course, Edward. I'll do anything I have to." I was half asleep and had no will to argue with him. I trusted him as my friend to guide me. I would follow his lead.

My eyes drifted closed again and after a few moments of dozing in and out of a light sleep, I felt hard, smooth lips crash into my own. I moaned in satisfaction at the feeling. My Jacob was back! I returned the kiss passionately and shoved my hands in his hair, pulling his face even closer to mine. His tongue pushed past my open lips and I swooned at the sensation. I felt his ice cold hand lift my shirt and caress the skin from my stomach up to my chest. His strong hand cupped my breast and squeezed gently. I moaned at the touch I had been missing for so…wait…i_ce cold hand?_

I opened my eyes to find Edward all over me. Was I dreaming? Before I could react, Jane's annoying voice echoed throughout the living room.

"Wow, I guess you two aren't as prudish as we made you out to be! We didn't think you had it in you."

I jumped out of Edward's embrace, pushing against his chest so that I could stand up. Edward's eyes were black with lust and there was no remorse on his face. I felt violated and taken advantage of, but of course, I couldn't say any of those things. I blushed furiously and grabbed my purse to run out of the house.

When I got outside I realized that I didn't have my truck. I clenched my fists in frustration. Jane followed me outside with Edward and Alec close behind.

"What's the hurry Bella? You're in a house full of vampires all the time. Even if they can't see you, I'm sure they've heard worse coming from your bedroom at night. Don't be embarrassed. Besides, since your little truck died, it's not like you'll get very far."

I turned towards Jane. "How did you…" And then it clicked. That horrible monster had killed my car. I heard Edward growl and give Jane a dirty look before approaching me.

"Love, let's go somewhere private. Come on, I'll drive."

He looked panicked. He knew I was furious and it was obvious that he wanted to make amends. I, however, was not in the mood to go down that road yet _again, _at least not at that moment. I needed to be by myself. I had had a horrible day that had only gotten worse and I just needed to escape. I looked into Edward's topaz eyes.

"No, I'd rather go _alone_! Please, I just need to be alone right now."

He handed me his keys to the Volvo. "Here, take my car. Be safe."

I said nothing in response. I simply took the keys and headed towards his car. I wasn't used to fancy foreign cars and ended up peeling out as I drove down the gravel driveway.

I got on the highway heading nowhere in particular. After my initial panic, I slowed my speed as it was still pouring rain outside. I still couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. The thought of Edward following me after I told him I needed to be alone only fueled my fire.

I was disgusted with myself, and Edward for that matter. He took it too far and he knew it. I wanted so badly to be doing that with Jacob. Hell, that was more than Edward ever did with me when we were together.

I drove aimlessly until I realized I was approaching the turn-off to drive into La Push. I stopped on the side of the highway contemplating my options. If I just turned off the highway now, I could be in front of Jacob's house in five minutes begging him for forgiveness. As much as I wanted him, _needed_ him, I refused to endanger his life further.

I got back on the highway and drove on to Port Angeles. I decided to go to the bookstore where Leah and I had met Jack just a couple of weeks prior. I always found solace in my books. I thought maybe I'd be able to clear my head there. As I drove around the store looking for a parking spot, I thought back to the last time I had been there. Leah and Jack had really hit it off that day and had spent the whole following week together. I wondered briefly if she was with him now, and if that was why I couldn't get a hold of her.

The parking structure was closed due to flooding so I drove around the block looking for a spot on the street. The nearest empty space was about a block away from the store. I cursed my luck for having to walk that far in the rain. I parked and was at least glad that I had found a spot so close to a street light. At least I wouldn't feel unsafe when walking back to the car with the light guiding me. I got out, locked the doors and headed towards the store at a jog in an attempt to stay somewhat dry.

By the time I walked through the doors I was soaked to the bone looking like a drowned rat. The cold had little effect on me lately seeing as how I was already numb inside. I browsed the aisles aimlessly for about an hour, hoping a great book would jump out at me and help me escape my own personal hell. The feeling of being watched persisted. My heart raced and I started to sweat even though I was soaking wet. The hair on my arms stood on end. I glanced up every few minutes thinking I'd find the source of my anxiety staring down at me, but every time I looked up, there was no one there.

I finally sighed in frustration and said in a voice I knew he would hear, "Look, Edward, I know you're here. You're starting to piss me off. Just come out and face me already." Knowing Edward, he would have shown himself at that point. I looked around nervously. But, Edward never appeared. He wouldn't play with me like that knowing how frightened I was. My anxiety increased to the point where I just had to get out of there.

I set the book I was holding back down and made my way out of the store. The sidewalk was deserted due to the foul weather. I found myself running towards the Volvo, driven by fear and anxiety. Why the hell did I always get myself into these kinds of situations? I looked behind me, but saw no one and heard nothing, though my gut was telling me I was being followed. I chided myself for being so paranoid.

I was almost at the car, the keys already in my hand, when I noticed the streetlight I had been so thankful for had burned out in my absence. It was cold, dark and wet. And I was alone. A new sense of dread overwhelmed me. I pressed the keyless remote to unlock the driver side door. Suddenly I felt strong arms wrap around me, restraining my arms and thrusting my backside against a hard body. I tried to scream, but a hand clamped down on my mouth, silencing me.

_Why did it all have to end like this?_

**A/N: I know, another cliffhanger. You'd think I'd learn by now. Please review. I look forward to hearing from you all.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do NOT!!!**

**A/N: Okay first of all, I'd say you guys are spoiled. Two chapters in one week! Don't expect that in the future. Anyway, I wanted to say thank you to everyone who is reading and especially to those who take the time to review. I really appreciate it. Of course, I'd like to shout out to my anonymous reviewers: Roz, Isobel, Kaley, and KandyKane. Thank you so much. Of course, thanks go out to my beta Christine for all her help.**

**Sorry, I know this is a long A/N, but I wanted to explain that this is a different chapter from all the rest. I felt that Jacob really needed a voice to tell us what he's been going through. This is most likely a one-time only deal, this is after all still Bella's story. But I had the idea so I thought I'd run with it. Enjoy.**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE:**

"**I Know it's Over"***

**Jacob's POV**

_Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head._

_And as I climb into an empty bed,_

_Oh well, enough said._

_I know it's over. Still I cling._

_I don't know where else I can go._

_Over…_

I was on my knees in front of her, my arms clinging to her body for dear life. She said I was a mistake, that what we had didn't mean anything. She was wearing his ring. My heart was breaking apart, but my soul cried out that she was lying. I just knew it in my heart that she wasn't telling me the truth. How could she? How could she deny what we had, what we'd been through together? I couldn't let her go, not like that. Not without her looking into my eyes and saying the words I needed to hear.

_Bella, look me in the eye and tell me that you don't love me. Tell me that you don't melt when I touch you; that your heart doesn't beat for me. Tell me…_

Her tiny hand was in mine and my other hand held firmly to her waist. My gaze bore into her eyes, trying to find an answer, a reason for her to betray me like this. All I found was love and pain in her warm chocolate depths. My hope soared until I heard the words that tore my fucking world apart.

_Jake, I…don't._

Her mouth kept moving, and she pulled away from my touch. But, I didn't hear a thing. Everything went quiet, like someone had just pressed the mute button on my life. I couldn't look at her. I knew she was in _his_ arms and I couldn't stand the thought of it. I was numb.

I vaguely remember feeling Quil and Embry lift me by my arms and walk me to my car. They shoved me in the back seat and Embry took off. I was confused. I didn't know if I was more hurt or angry. After a minute, my body answered that question for me. I was shaking violently. The vibrations coming off of me threatened to tear my tiny car in two. I felt claustrophobic. I felt like I needed to explode.

"Stop the car!"

Embry looked at me through the rear-view mirror, eyes wide and looking nervous as hell.

"Jake, I'm taking you home. Just relax for a few minutes."

"Embry, stop the fucking car! I'm losing it!"

The car skid to a halt and Embry only had enough time to open his door and slide his seat forward before I exploded out of the car, shredding my clothes in the process. I howled, pouring my anguish and despair into that primal scream. Then I took off.

Embry and Quil phased within seconds and were right on my tail.

_Jake, man wait up._

_Yeah, take it easy. Let's talk about this._

_Leave me the fuck alone. That's an order!_

They immediately phased back and my mind was my own. I was alone, _again_. I ran. I kept running. I didn't ever want to stop. My whole world had fallen apart and I was the last to know. I felt like such a fool. The love of my life, my reason for breathing, played me and I let her. I felt like a stupid, worthless shit. Was any of it real? I thought it was. Was I dreaming this whole time?

_Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head._

_See the sea wants to take me._

_The knife wants to slit me._

_Do you think you can help me?_

No, there had to be an explanation. We were so happy. I was only gone for two weeks, and she was engaged to the leech again? It didn't make sense. No matter how many times I ran it all through my head it still came out ass-backwards. Her eyes were still full of love for me. Weren't they? Or, was that just pity? My paws tore mercilessly at the soft ground beneath me, propelling me deeper into the forest and farther away from my home; _My Bella_.

_Sad-veiled bride, please b__e happy._

_Handsome groom, give her room._

_Loud, loutish lover, treat her kindly,_

_Though she needs you, more that she loves you._

_And I know it's over. Still I cling._

_I don't know where else I can go._

_Over. Over. Over. Over._

My heart was pounding from the exertion. My muscles were strained beyond endurance. I ran faster than I'd ever run, but I had nowhere to go. That wasn't the point. I just knew that I had to keep moving because standing still left me too much time to think; too much time to wallow in my own misery.

_I know it's over._

_And it never really began._

_But in my heart, it was so real._

_And you even spoke to me and said._

_If you're so funny, then why are you on your own tonight?_

_If you're so clever, then why are you on your own tonight?_

_If you're so very entertaining, then why are you on your own tonight?_

_If you're so very good-looking, why do you sleep alone tonight?_

_I know._

_Cuz tonight is just like any other night._

_That's why you're on your own tonight._

_With your triumphs and your charms,_

_While they're in each other's arms._

I growled at the thought of them together. Was she just using me to get to him? Using me for practice so she could get him into bed? _God, that's horrible_. My Bella would never do something like that. But, then again, she wasn't _my_ Bella anymore. I knew her better than she knew herself. But, when she looked into my eyes and told me she didn't love me…I felt like I was looking at a stranger. And I felt empty inside. I felt like I was being buried alive. My body was dead on the surface, but my soul was screaming underneath.

_It's so easy to laugh, it's so easy to hate._

_It takes strength to be gentle and kind._

_Over…_

_It's so easy to laugh, it's so easy to hate._

_It takes guts to be gentle and kind._

_Over…_

I was half-way to Canada when I came to a stop. I had run so hard and fast that I was actually breathless. That never happened. What the fuck was I doing? I was Alpha. I couldn't just run away. Because, try as I might to deny it to my friends, that's exactly what I was doing. But, I knew I couldn't run away from the pain. I tried that last time and I ended up outside Bella's house in Florida. When I held her in my arms, I was home. All roads led to Bella. And now I was homeless.

_Love is natural and real._

_But, not for you my love,_

_Not tonight my love._

_Love is natural and real._

_But not for such as you and I, my love._

_Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head._

I turned around and headed back towards La Push. I had responsibilities I couldn't run away from, even if my heart wasn't in it. I was the walking dead. I'd just have to go through the motions and pretend to be the man I was supposed to be, the man I was expected to be. Because, as far as I was concerned, that man I used to be was dead. I had fallen hard too many times, and she laughed in my face. Even then, as I ran, as hurt and angry as I was, I couldn't bring myself to hate her. I loved her too much for that, even if she didn't love me; even if she never did.

I was close to La Push. I knew Billy would be worried about me, but I knew he'd understand why I couldn't go back, at least not yet. So much of our relationship had evolved there. It was too painful to see the beach, my garage, my bedroom, and realize that it was all a sham.

I was exhausted. My body had been pushed over the brink to the point of utter breakdown. I was grateful for that because I didn't think I'd be able to sleep otherwise. I phased back and mentally kicked myself for destroying my shorts. Fuck it! No one would come looking for me anyway. I'd sleep on the ground for the night and worry about the rest in the morning.

I lay on my back looking up at the stars. When my eyes got heavy, I didn't fight it. I fell asleep reciting a silent prayer. S_he'll come back to me. She'll come back to me._

I woke up face down in the dirt. _What the hell?_ I couldn't for the life of me figure out why I was waking up outside as opposed to my own bed. I sat up and took in my surroundings and realized I wasn't far from home. The birds chirping and the position of the sun told me it was early morning. I stood up to head back home and realized two things. One, I was naked and I would have to run home as a wolf and scare half the reservation, or I would have to sneak into my house as a man and do the walk of shame. Then I realized what had brought me here in the first place, _Bella_.

My shoulders fell and I bowed my head as memories from the previous night flooded back to me. My sweet, beautiful Bella left me for that leech, _again_. How was I supposed to live with that? She was wearing his ring, which meant my worst fear had come true.

I could handle it if she left me for another guy. My heart would break, and I'd be miserable for the rest of my sad life without her. But, I'd live. This…this was different. She was going to become…one of _them_. I wouldn't just lose her, she'd die. She'd be taken from this world. There would be no piece of her soul to live on in children, or anything. She'd just be gone, living in a parasite's body. As angry as I was that she betrayed me, I couldn't stand the thought of losing her _forever_. My soul couldn't take it.

Angry tears filled my eyes. I wanted to punch something, to rip something apart with my bare hands. Edward Cullen's face came to mind, but I'd have to settle on one of the poor trees in front of me. I growled in anger as I moved towards the nearest tree. I pulled my fist back and was about to let loose when I heard someone behind me clear their throat.

"Ahem."

I spun around in surprise. I cursed myself for being so distracted that I didn't pick up her scent sooner. Leah stood in the clearing with an annoying smirk on her face. Her eyes traveled down my body, her eyebrow rising to a point while she stared at me. I glanced down and realized that she was staring shamelessly at my still naked body. My hands flew to cover my junk and I yelled at her.

"Jesus Christ Leah! What's your problem? I told everyone to leave me alone!"

She chuckled as she found a nearby stump to sit on. She tossed me a pair of shorts, which I was grateful for and had the decency to turn her head while I put them on.

"Thanks," I muttered.

"No problem," she answered. "And for the record, you told Quil and Embry to leave you alone, which they did. Now, if you're done with your pity party, I'd say it's time to go get your woman."

My smile was grim. "She's not mine anymore."

"Who says?"

"She does. She doesn't want me anymore. She got what she needed and now she's done."

Leah frowned. "She's your imprint, Jake. You can't honestly tell me that you're just going to let her go?"

I kicked a nearby rock in frustration. "I told you, the imprint thing never mattered before. Why should it now?"

Leah stood up and walked towards me. She was genuinely concerned for me. I could see it in her eyes. I saw something else though; something that made me curious. She seemed to have a light in her eyes. Her face looked care-free and, it made me sick to think it, but _beautiful_. What the hell had she been up to lately? Before I could ask her, she closed the distance between us.

"Jake, I can't believe you're making me do this."

She gritted her teeth and sighed before continuing.

"Okay, here it is. You two are completely and ridiculously in love. It's not the star-crossed lovers type of shit that seems so perfect, but never works out in the end. You two have what everyone wishes they could have. You guys are friends, lovers, and partners. You don't complete each other. I don't think anyone can do that for someone else. But, you make each other better. It is sickeningly sweet, and it makes me want to puke but, you two _belong_ together."

Wow, I was floored to hear Leah say those things. It was strange to hear that coming from someone who knew what it was like to be burned by love. She was right. _I_ felt all those things. But, I had to face reality. Bella didn't.

"Thanks for saying that Leah, but like I said, none of that matters. She's wearing his ring."

Silence. I would have heard crickets chirping if it wasn't morning already. I guess she didn't know that part. Her eyes widened in shock and she looked like she was struggling for words.

"See," I told her. "It's a lost cause."

"For crying out loud Jake, aren't you the friggin patron saint of lost causes? It's not like you to give up so easily. Look, I was with Bella a week ago. All she could think about was you. Are you telling me that in one week she'd forget all about you and go back to that bloodsucker? I don't buy it."

Leah had a point. I already admitted to myself that I had my doubts about Bella's behavior. Nothing she had said the night before made any sense. But, I'd already put myself on the line for her so many times. I was love's bitch and it was getting old. Could I handle putting myself out there one more time for the girl I loved? I just didn't know if I had it in me anymore.

Leah smiled at me. "Look, if Bella really did dump you for good, to go back to that asshole that caused her so much pain, then I'll tear that bitch apart myself. But, honestly, I think there's something else going on here."

I laughed at Leah's eagerness to defend me and I was surprised how strange it sounded to my own ears. "You know I'd never let you touch her, right?"

"I know Jake. You can't stop being her knight in shining armor even when she fires you! So, are you going to talk to her?"

"Yeah," I replied. "I'll go over to her place now. Maybe I can catch her before she goes to work."

"That a boy! Let me know how it turns out. By the way, I came by to tell you that I'm taking off for about a week, maybe longer."

"What do you mean you're taking off? We've got two new vampires to worry about and you're what, going to take a little holiday?"

Leah's face was stern and her smile faded. "Jake, I didn't come here to ask for permission. I did it as a courtesy because you're my Alpha. Something came up, an opportunity, and I'm taking it."

"Leah, what the fuck are you talking about? For someone who is painfully blunt about everything else, you're being really vague. Did you get a job or something?"

"God you're dense," she replied. "Look, I met someone. It's going great and we want to go away together alright? Or do you need to know all of our intimate details?"

"Oh God no! But, didn't you just meet this guy? I mean how do you know…"

"Jake, I can handle myself. Trust me. He's good people."

I ran my hand through my hair. Leah was one strange girl. Whoever this guy was, I felt sorry for him. He was obviously either brave or insane. But, it looked like Leah was happy, so that could only be a good thing.

Leah and I went our separate ways. I found a stream nearby to wash up in. If I was going to see Bella, I didn't want to scare her away with my morning breath.

I was grateful to Leah for giving me hope. I was so lost and depressed before our talk. Leah made me think that the part of me that still believed in _us_ was right. I'd talk to Bella. I'd get to the bottom of it, and I'd fix it.

I undressed, phased, and ran towards Bella's place. All my sore muscles loosened as I ran with new purpose. I couldn't deny that Bella's eyes were filled with love even when she told me it was over. I'd live through the hell that was last night a million times over if it meant I could wake up to this hope.

I quickly phased back and got dressed as I approached the trees marking the beginning of Charlie's property. I stopped in my tracks as I saw Edward pull up in the soccer-mom mobile he was so proud of. I kept my distance hoping I was far back enough that the prick wouldn't be able to hear or smell me. I watched as Edward helped Bella out of the car and they walked hand in hand towards her truck. I had to fight the monster inside that wanted to jump out of the trees, tear the leach apart, and _claim_ Bella as _mine_. I shook my head trying to clear those thoughts from my mind. If Bella even knew that I thought that way in a moment of weakness, she'd hand me my balls on a platter.

I took a calming breath and immediately tensed as I caught the scent of one of the vampires we had been tracking the night before. My eyes scanned the area and I noticed someone sitting in the backseat of Edward's car. Son of a bitch! So, after all the shit that went down with their Denali coven, they invite more vampires to stay with them without giving us the heads up? Well, the dick did say they had _guests_.

I didn't waste much time thinking about the vamp in the car because my eyes were glued to Bella. She looked so sad. She was smiling brightly, but I knew my girl. The smile wasn't reaching her eyes. Maybe she knew she'd made a mistake and was just afraid to ask for forgiveness. Maybe she really did want me back.

I didn't have much time to dwell on that theory because Edward touched her face and then kissed her. My body began shaking violently again. He bent her body backwards as he pressed her close to his. His mouth was all over her. I couldn't stop the low growl that escaped my chest. I couldn't look anymore. Bella had made her choice and I was a fool once again. I took off my shorts and phased. I needed to get the hell out of there. I wasn't going to give Cullen the satisfaction of seeing me miserable _again_.

I ran home, heartbroken with my tail between my legs. I had never told Bella, because I guess I thought it would sound lame if I said it out loud, but if I was her sun, then she was my moon. When she was broken and I was desperate to fix her and win her love, I would fall into dark bouts of depression when she wasn't around. I had always been a care-free guy before Bella Swan turned my world upside down. When the leech came back, it felt dark all the time. The only light came when she first snuck into La Push to visit me. She was the moon in my darkest night. She always made me feel hopeful. But, like the moon, Bella was always changing and this time she chose the leech that was going to take the moon from my skies forever, leaving me in darkness. I was such an idiot. The sun and the moon never shared the sky at the same time, unless of course there was an eclipse. And we both knew that we didn't do well with eclipses.

So, I guess it really was over. I didn't think I'd ever be whole after that. I kept running, my head low to the ground. All of a sudden I heard Quil pop into my head. Thoughts of what I had just seen came rushing back to my mind.

_Dude, that's fucked up! At least now you know, right? It could have been worse. What if you two would've gotten married and then she left?_

_Quil, get the fuck out of my head and leave me alone._

_Jake, I'm just trying to help you. We don't want to see you go all emo again. She's not worth it._

My anger flared and I thought that Quil was lucky to be far away from me, because I was ready to tear his head off.

_Dude, don't take it out on me. I'm your friend. You can't let this ruin you._

_Quil, fuck off!_

I phased and put on my shorts. I was only a few miles from home and decided to just run on my own two feet the rest of the way. I didn't want to take the chance of anyone else phasing and invading my head.

I walked into my house and headed directly towards my room, ignoring my Dad who was waiting for me in the hallway. I was about to slam my door in his face when he asked, "Son, where have you been? What's going on? Quil and Embry said that Bella broke up with you. Is that true?"

There was no use in hiding anything from my father. He'd find out eventually. And he did look really worried about me.

"She didn't just break up with me. She's engaged to the leech. I've lost her. I failed her. I told her I would save her, and I failed her. It's over, and I want to be left alone!"

_I might as well get used to it_, I thought to myself as I slammed the door. I was filthy and in desperate need of a shower, but I couldn't care less. I threw myself on my bed and closed my eyes hoping I'd be able to sleep away the miserable day.

Unfortunately, I wasn't meant to sleep long. I was grateful to my Dad. He gave me my space. I heard a car come for him right after I locked myself in my room. He had been gone ever since. I guess he thought as long as I wasn't playing emo music with the lights turned off while I applied guy-liner it'd be okay to leave me alone.

The phone calls started about an hour after I got home. The phone would ring, ten, fifteen, twenty times before the person would hang up. I assumed it was Bella, trying to make nice so that I wouldn't hate her. She never wanted to be the bad guy. Little did she know I _wished_ I could hate her after everything she put me through. But I couldn't. Instead, I had to settle on feeling pathetic, stupid, and broken. Only, there wasn't anyone out there who could fix me and I had no will to fix myself.

The phone rang off and on throughout the day. Bella didn't realize or didn't remember how stubborn I could be. Even though the constant ringing drove me mad, I refused to give in. It was only a matter of time before I'd hear the roar of her engine on the driveway. The leech would hurt her and she'd come to me for support like she always did. _She'll come back to me. _I said it, but this time I didn't believe it.

I gave up on trying sleeping and threw myself on the couch in front of the television. I spent hours flipping through channels, never really watching anything. All I could think about was the countless times Bella and I would be doing the exact same thing and all she'd watch were cooking shows. She played it off like she was looking for new recipes to try out. But I knew the truth. I always knew the truth when it came to her. The cooking shows were the only things that didn't remind her of her heartbreak. Now I understood how she felt.

I used to think I was an expert on being broken hearted. And that was when I never even had the girl. Now that I knew what it was like, I knew what holding her in my arms felt like; I knew what making love to her felt like…I saw the smile on her face when she woke up in my bed. Before, I only had an idea of what I would miss without my Bella in my life. Now I was painfully aware of the life and future that was ripped away from me like nails from my fingertips.

I felt tears form in my eyes, but I willed them away, kicking myself for acting like such a pussy. She wasn't crying over me. And I had cried enough over her.

It was dark. The day had passed me by and I'd barely noticed. I realized all too quickly that I hadn't eaten all day. I walked into the kitchen to rummage for food when the phone rang. I was too focused on my appetite to remember that I wasn't supposed to answer it.

"Hello?"

_Shit_! I couldn't believe I'd just done that. I held my breath hoping it was anyone but Bella. I didn't think I could handle hearing her voice and knowing everything we had was a lie.

_Oh hey son, is Billy there?_

Oh thank God, it was just Charlie. I exhaled and relaxed. That is until I heard a loud banging noise on the other end. I was about to ask Charlie what was going on when I heard him yell.

_Bells, what the hell? Are you…_

My heart raced for a second thinking that something had happened to Bella. I was tensed and ready to go to her at a moment's notice, until I remembered she didn't need me. She didn't want me. I heard some more noise and then my heart stopped.

_Jake! Jake, oh God, please, it's not what you think. I had to…_

I slammed the phone down then disconnected the line. I didn't want to hear it. She broke my heart. She spent the night with that leech and they were kissing like long lost lovers in front of her house. What was I supposed to think?

I acted as though that phone call had never happened. I ate some cereal for dinner since it was the easiest thing to make. I only had two bowls. I guess I really had lost my appetite. I thought it was probably best to shower before going back to bed. I wasn't tired, but I was sick of being awake, sick of feeling, and sick of thinking.

I looked at my reflection in the bathroom mirror and cringed. _No wonder she dumped you, you look like shit!_ My hair was a tangled, greasy mess. And it was no wonder. I had spent the last two weeks out in the woods living, eating, and sleeping like a wolf. It had been an amazing experience for both of our packs. Especially since Sam and I had learned that as Alphas, we could communicate with each other, even if our packs couldn't. It was exciting news and I couldn't wait to share it with Bella. But, of course, that wasn't going to happen now. I had dark circles under my eyes and thought, _Bella would hate to see me like this._ That is if she actually still cared.

Memories flashed through my head of all the times Bella ran her hands through my hair. She loved it, and I always loved the way it felt. Hell, I'm the only one in the pack who grew his hair back after initiation. It was a pain being so shaggy, but I did it because Bella liked it that way. And I did anything I could to make her happy. Well, it wasn't my job to make her happy anymore.

I opened a drawer under the sink and found what I was looking for. I took out the clippers and plugged them in. Without even thinking about it I buzzed a thick line straight through the middle of my head. I kept going and going until all my hair was lying in a heap in the sink. I rubbed my head, satisfied with the new look. I tried to remember that expression, "cutting off your nose to spite your face." Hmm, I wasn't even sure if that applied. It was my way of hurting Bella, hurting her like she had hurt me. Then of course, I felt miserable and guilty. It didn't matter. She wouldn't care anyway.

The next day I went into work. I didn't have to, but there was no use staying home. I needed the distraction. I focused on fixing engines and tried to keep my mind off of my shattered heart.

When I got home, Charlie was on his way out.

"Hey son, what's with the haircut?"

"Hmm, I don't know," I grunted. I walked past him into the house. I felt bad for being so rude, but I didn't really have the energy to care.

My Dad was in the kitchen waiting for me, again.

"Son, I have something here for you."

"Let me guess is it a bracelet with a wolf and sun charm? Because that would be just awesome."

He sighed. "No, it's a letter from Bella. I think you should read it.

"Why, have you?"

"Of course not. I respect your privacy. I just think you should read it. Maybe there's more to this than you think. Charlie's worried about her."

My heart ached at the thought of Bella suffering. I growled at my own stupidity. I always did that. I'd let her go with one hand and cling to her with the other. How did I get so fucked up?

My Dad was staring at me, looking worried. I didn't want to have a conversation about my feelings so I grabbed the letter and said, "Yeah, I'll take care of this," and I locked myself back in my room.

I spent the next couple of days locked in the same routine. Woke up, went to work, ate to keep my stomach quiet, spent hours in my garage, went to my room and fell asleep. I stared at Bella's letter everyday for hours. I dreaded what was inside. I didn't need her highlighting every lie about her feelings. I still had hope that at least some of what we shared in our short time together was real, and wasn't completely one-sided. I still had some pride after all. But, if I read her letter, I'd have nothing. I'd have the bold truth staring me right in the face. I wouldn't be able to deny the truth anymore. I'd have to believe it was over and I just wasn't ready for that. I put the letter in her mailbox the next day.

A few days later, the same letter came back in the mail. Damn, my girl was stubborn. _Grr, idiot!_ That just showed what a spineless fool I was. After everything she'd done to me, I still couldn't shake the idea that she still belonged to me, just like I belonged to her. But, that had always been my problem, and I always suffered for it. I threw the letter on my nightstand and ignored it like it was the white elephant in the room. So, of course, it was on my mind a lot.

It had been a week since I had seen Bella. The letter still sat unopened in my room. I'd neglected myself. I wasn't eating and I wasn't sleeping well. And for a werewolf who ran as hot as I did, my body was burning energy faster than I could keep up.

I spent more and more time in my make-shift garage out behind the house. Since I wasn't going to run away from the pain, I figured wallowing in it was a strong compromise. The garage reminded me of better days, simpler times, when I truly was Bella's sunshine. I knew my Dad was worried about me, but I was grateful that he kept his distance and left me alone.

One night I was in the garage working on my Rabbit when Quil stopped by. I growled, "What do you want?"

"Hey, nice to see you too Jake. Dude, you need to get yourself out of this funk. I mean, you're not eating, you look like shit. And what's with going Britney Spears on your hair? Seriously man, what about your responsibilities? You're Alpha now. In case you forgot, we did have two vampires come through town recently. Don't you think we should do something about it?"

"No, I don't. Besides, they're nothing to worry about. They're just more _guests_ of the Cullens. Nothing for us to concern ourselves with."

Quil looked confused and angry. "Dude, what about the alliance you made with them? Aren't they supposed to tell you if they invite their vamp friends around? You know, Sam's gonna go ape-shit over that."

I mindlessly fiddled with the engine, just to give me something to do. I didn't even have the energy to look at Quil when I answered.

"Well the alliance doesn't really matter now, does it? I only made it to protect Bella from becoming a leech like them. Well, if that's what she wants, I can't stop her. The old treaty still applies. They're not crossing into our territory, so there's nothing _to_ do about it."

Quil just stood there, staring at me like he wanted to say something, but didn't know if he should.

"What the hell is it Quil?"

"Dude," he stammered. "I know it's rough right now, but you don't need her. You have the pack. We're your family. Stop pushing everyone away. I mean, people have seen her around town hanging all over that leech. Come on, what kind of girl goes back and forth between two guys like they're flavors of the week?"

My body started vibrating and before I could stop myself, I flew at Quil and grabbed him by his shoulders throwing him up against the flimsy garage wall. I was furious and I was seconds away from phasing and tearing him apart.

"How the fuck is that supposed to make me feel better? Get the hell away from me!"

I saw fear in Quil's eyes and it made me smile. Then I realized I was letting the beast inside me take control. I was no better than a monster. I let Quil go and weakly said, "Just leave, man. You don't know what this feels like. You've got your mate lined up. You just need to wait for her to grow up. Bella's made her choice. Maybe she used me to help her with the decision. I don't know. But, what we had, even though it was just a short time, well it's something I can't just get over."

I walked back to the Rabbit and picked up my tools. "Just leave me alone Quil, please. Tell the guys I'm fine. I'll get back into the swing of things soon. I'm…I'm just not ready."

Quil backpedaled his way to the door as I ducked my head deeper under the open hood of my car. I heard him mumble, "Yeah, sure man. Anything you need."

I turned my head hoping he didn't see the tears falling from my eyes.

It had been two weeks since Bella erased me from her life. I had gotten back to patrolling with the pack. I needed something, anything to keep my mind off of what I had lost. Leah hadn't come back yet. I assumed she either ran off with her mystery guy, or she was having so much fun that she wasn't ready to come back yet. I wouldn't either if I was her. I couldn't blame her. She deserved to be happy. Besides, Bella was safer with Leah out of the picture. Knowing Leah, she'd do her best to keep her word about kicking Bella's ass. I didn't need that right then.

Embry and Quil were constantly on my ass about eating more and coming back to life. They meant well and I appreciated it. They were my brothers after all. But they were poor substitutes to what I had found in Bella.

As little as I actually got out, I wasn't able to avoid hearing rumors about Bella and Edward. According to my Dad, Charlie was out of the loop about her going back to him, which I thought was strange. I mean, I knew Charlie hated the leech, but it didn't make sense why she wouldn't even tell her father that she dumped me. I wondered how she was explaining away all of her sleepovers?

I went home one night after a long day of work. It was exhausting putting up with all the pity and sympathy everyone was shooting my way. I went straight to bed and stared at the ceiling wishing sleep would come to me. But, my mind wandered. I thought about everything Bella and I had been through. But mostly, I thought about the last few months together. As hurt as I was, I couldn't deny that I missed her. I missed my best friend. I missed holding her in my arms and feeling like I mattered. I drifted off clinging to my pillow, wishing it was a gorgeous brunette with milky white skin and beautiful doe eyes.

I woke up to the sound of the front door opening then closing. I looked at my alarm clock and noted that it was two in the morning. What the hell would my Dad be out and about for? I was about to get out of bed to check on him when my bedroom door opened. A vision was standing before me and I thought I must be dreaming.

Bella stood at the end of my bed bathed in the moonlight. She was wearing the tightest t-shirt and smallest shorts I'd ever seen. Her nipples reacted to the cold air and pushed through her top hypnotizing me. I was speechless. Her long gorgeous hair was tied back away from her face. I looked at her closely and wanted to cry for what I saw. Her eyes were sunken and lifeless and tears were forming at the rims. She looked frail, like she'd lost weight. She looked miserable. But I didn't understand why she was there, in my room, when she should be in the arms of her cold, dead fiancé.

I was about to ask her why she was there when she took off her shirt and stepped out of her shorts, leaving herself completely naked for me. My mouth opened in shock as I shot up in the bed, already hard for her. She crawled onto the bed and sat in my waiting lap. Her legs wrapped around my waist and her hands gripped the sides of my face. Tears flowed feely from her eyes as she looked directly into my soul.

"Bella?"

"Shh, Jacob. Don't say anything. I was wrong. I love you. I _need_ you. Please Jacob, let's not talk about it tonight."

I was so confused. She wasn't making sense. I wanted to argue with her but her lips crashing onto mine distracted me. My dick twitched as she grinded her lovely ass against my lap. I deepened the kiss, burying my hands in her hair, pulling her roughly against my mouth. It was like a fire was burning in my blood. There was electricity flowing between us. It was as if nothing had happened, like she never left.

My hands roamed freely all over her creamy, soft skin. I fondled her breasts, rubbing her hard nipples between my fingers. She moaned against my lips and I smiled knowing how much she liked my touch. I groaned as her body writhed against me.

She put her hands on my shoulders and raised herself on her knees, bringing her delicious breasts up to my mouth. I sucked one breast into my mouth, rolling the nipple over my tongue and gently bit down. As soon as I did that she sat down on my lap, impaling herself on my cock, her eyes never once breaking contact with mine. I groaned gripping her milky white thighs tightly in my hands. That was the sexiest thing I had ever seen and I was fighting to make this last as long as possible.

I was lost as she rode me. My Bella was back. I was home inside of her. She moved faster and I was finding it hard to keep up with her thrusts. We were moaning and crying out, not caring who heard us. I was actually out of breath. I had never experienced sex this intense before. I stared into her beautiful brown eyes in awe of the goddess who was literally milking me with every stroke.

She sped up and all of a sudden we were fucking in a frenzy. Her nails dug into my shoulders and I winced in pain. _That was strange_. We were grunting and groaning like animals and I just hoped that Billy would have the decency to put a pillow over his head and ignore us. Bella's grip on my shoulders intensified as she cried out and came all over my shaft. I groaned as I was about to follow her until I looked into her eyes and my breath caught in my throat. Bella's once beautiful chocolate eyes were blood red. She smirked and then with a speed she never possessed before, bit down hard on my neck.

I cried out as I woke up in a cold sweat, gasping for breath. The sky was bright as dawn broke over the horizon. What the hell was with that dream? Even in my dreams I lose the girl forever. Once she becomes a vampire, I die. How poetic.

I threw on some boxers, trying to ignore my painful morning wood, and walked into the kitchen for a glass of water. I chugged the first glass down and quickly refilled it and walked back to my room. I set the glass down on my dresser as I sat on the edge of my bed putting my head in my hands. I scratched my shaved head, still not used to the utter lack of hair.

That dream had really fucked me up. I knew it was over between us, but in my heart I couldn't let her go. And I couldn't believe she could let me go so easily either. I thought back to our road trip home and how her body molded to mine on the bike like she didn't want any space to exist between us. I thought about her shy smiles, flirty glances, and her heavy-lidded looks that told me she wanted me. I thought about when we kissed in the rain, when we went skinny dipping, and all the nights we stayed up just talking about our hopes and our dreams. She couldn't have faked that.

My thoughts strayed to the unopened letter sitting on my nightstand. I needed answers and I was finally ready to hear them. I sat on my bed and opened the letter. There were pages and pages but my mind focused on simple truths; _It's a charade, The Volturi are here, I'm trying to protect you and our future._ My eyes devoured her words like they were food for my soul. I couldn't help the tears that spilled from my eyes. _I love you more than life itself. We will be together again. I will come back to you._

Her words lifted me up, made me feel lighter than I had in weeks. I had hope now. But, I had also seen her with Edward. And that didn't look like acting. I needed to see her. I needed her to tell me to my face, that this was all a lie, that everything she wrote in the letter was true. I was so broken without her. I was desperate for her to throw her arms around me and reassure me that she was still mine just as I was completely hers. But, if the Volturi were involved, I needed to be careful.

I left the house a couple of hours after sunrise. My Dad watched me leave without saying a word. He must have seen the determination on my face and didn't bother trying to stop me.

I decided to follow her on foot. If the Volturi were keeping tabs on her, then I needed to make myself scarce and keep my distance until I knew it was safe to approach her. I hoped the rain would help mask my presence as it pounded endlessly against my trimmed fur.

I approached her house and immediately smelled the intense concentration of bloodsucker stench. Edward's smell was prominent, but the scent of the other two vampires, the Volturi, was there as well. Luckily, none of them were there at the moment. I stayed hidden in the trees waiting for her to come outside.

I heard raised voices coming from the house and my body tensed, the wolf in me waiting to launch into action. I was far enough way that I couldn't hear what was being said, but it was clear that Bella was upset. Bella came banging out of the house, slamming the front door behind her. She looked just as she did in my dream, minus the whole being a bloodsucker part. She was thinner and her beautiful face was pale and drawn. Even from where I stood, far back in the tree cover, I could see that the light had left her eyes.

She jumped in her truck, already wet from the rain and she started to cry. It took all my strength to stay put and not run to her with open arms. I still wasn't sure about her feelings. Maybe after spending two weeks pretending to love Edward, she decided she really did. I couldn't trust my heart to believe her, not yet, not after living with so much pain.

She started her truck and I knew immediately that it didn't sound right. She drove down the road on her way to what I could only assume was work. I was glad I chose to follow her that day because I knew she'd need help with that engine sounding the way it did. And I would be there to fix it. Like always.

I paced the woods outside of Newton's Outfitters all morning. I watched her through the windows and was confused by the smile she wore on her face. It didn't reach her eyes. Was that all part of the act as well?

Around noon she came out to her truck. She looked in my direction and I crouched low to the ground to hide myself. She couldn't possibly know I was there, could she? She turned the ignition, but the engine wouldn't start. She was furious, and from where I was waiting, it looked like she was falling apart. I battled with myself. _Should I go to her now?_ By the time I decided to make my move it was too late.

Captain, "I'm so awesome" came barreling into the parking lot in his stupid car. Well, by all means, come save the day fucker! That's what you live for. Oh wait, you're dead, my mistake. I booked it deeper into the woods to get out of his hearing range. I didn't care if he smelled me there. There would be no reason for him to be concerned because there could be many reasons why my scent would be in the area.

I followed them, from a distance, all the way to the Cullens' house. I waited close to the drive-way, hoping I'd be able to catch Bella on her way home. I spent hours lying on my belly in the rain, just waiting. As each hour passed, I felt more and more pathetic. I heard Quil, Seth, and Embry phase in and out throughout the day. But they knew better than to bother me. I kept my mind focused so that they wouldn't know what I was doing and how potentially dangerous it was for me to put myself in the Volturi's path.

The sun went down and night set in. The rain never let up. I couldn't stand sitting out there waiting, not knowing what she was doing inside, with _him_. Jealousy reared its ugly head and threatened to overtake my sanity. I held it at bay the best I could.

I tensed immediately when I sensed the new vamps approaching. I strayed back in the forest and down wind so they couldn't pick up my scent. I was surprised a few minutes later when Bella peeled out down the driveway in Edward's car, by herself. There was hope yet.

I followed her as she drove down the highway. She pulled over to the side of the road near the La Push exit. Was she coming to see me? Didn't she say in her letter how dangerous that was? She waited for a few minutes then got back on the road heading towards Port Angeles. I was able to keep pace with her by sticking to the forest along the highway.

As soon as she got to town, I knew exactly where she was heading. The good old, trusty, reliable bookstore. If she was upset, she'd go to her books to find comfort. She was wonderfully predictable.

I phased back and ran the rest of the way on foot. Sure, I was barefoot and shirtless in the rain, but I'd still draw less attention than as a giant wolf. I saw Bella park a block away from the store and cringed with how unsafe that was for her, especially knowing her history with this town. She was lucky I was there to watch out for her.

She spent an hour in the store, browsing aimlessly. She kept looking up and around, as if she was waiting for someone. Was Edward supposed to meet her here? No, that didn't make any sense. Why wouldn't he have just taken her himself? She looked nervous and uncomfortable as I watched her from across the street.

I heard her mutter under her breath, "Look Edward, I know you're here. You're starting to piss me off. Just come out and face me already."

I searched the area panicked. Had I been so distracted that I didn't realize the leech was here? But I wasn't picking up his scent. I figured Bella was just being paranoid.

Bella walked out of the store a few minutes later. Her heart was racing as she walked, almost jogged towards her car. I followed closely now, but stayed in the shadows and out of sight. Bella turned to look behind her, just as I dove into an alley. I don't know why I was trying to hide myself other than the fact that I wanted our reunion to be on my terms. She was at the car and I could smell the fear coming off of her in waves. All of a sudden I felt overwhelmed with the need to re-claim her as my own. I had been alone, wretched for too long without her. I was a desperate man and I needed to hear her tell me that she loved me. I had been buried alive deprived of my precious air. I needed her to dig me out of my grave. I needed to touch her. I wanted to go _home_.

I silently crept up behind her, like a cat stalking its prey. I was close enough that I could smell the strawberry scented shampoo that always drove me crazy. Her body was shaking and I knew she was afraid. I wanted to make her feel safe while at the same time I wanted to ravage her, so she'd never forget me. I was waging a silent war with myself before I decided to finally bridge the gap, take that final step closer.

My instincts took over and I threw my arms around her and instinctively pressed her body close to mine. Her body stiffened at my touch and I felt a scream rise in her throat. I covered her mouth with my hand. I would get my answers first. I just hoped they were the ones I wanted to hear.

**A/N: So, what did you think? **

* The song used was "I Know It's Over," by The Smiths


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do NOT!!!**

**A/N: Wow, the last chapter received the most reviews yet! I'm so excited about that and so grateful. Thank you to the following anonymous reviewers: Roz, Carol, Sweetnes4683, Kandykane, Kaley, Red Wolf, Justine, Rachel, , Denali Daredevil, Hannah, and Ashley. Wow, there were a lot of you this time around. Thank you all so much for your kind words and awesome reviews. Thank you especially to everyone else who read and reviewed the last chapter. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. And of course, thank you to my beta Christine for all her support.**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR **

I was terrified. The arms restraining my body were strong and unyielding and I was frozen with fear. I couldn't believe that it was only a little over a year ago when I was cornered by those frightening me in the dark streets of this very city. Edward had been there to save me from my fate, but who would save me now? And then I felt like kicking myself for thinking that way. I was stronger than that. I was smarter than that! After the initial panic set in I had a moment of clarity. Was I really going to go down like this? After everything I had been through, was I really going to let some punk asshole take my life away? I thought of Jacob's beautiful smile and knew I had to fight; for me, for us.

I tried to wriggle myself out of my attacker's vice-like grip, but to no avail. I thought back to some of the self-defense skills Charlie and Renee insisted on me learning when I became a teenager. I lifted my leg in an attempt to bring my foot down on his in-step with all my might when his hand dropped from my mouth. Before I could scream, I heard a husky voice whisper in my ear.

"Shh, Bella it's me. You're okay."

_Jacob_. I closed my eyes as tears of joy and relief spilled down my face. The adrenaline pumping through my veins made my legs weak. I sank against his chest, utterly exhausted. His hands on my body were hot, burning through my wet clothes into my cold skin. I questioned why I hadn't noticed the heat before. I tried to turn around to look at him, but his hands held my body still, immobile.

"Jake?"

"Bella, tell me something. Was it true? Was any of it true?"

My heart broke at the pain in his voice. I sighed heavily and said with as much conviction as I could muster, "No, Jake. None of it was true."

His arms freed me and he stepped back, leaving my body exposed and craving his warmth. And then I realized that he was going to walk away from me. I had just told him the truth. Why was he leaving?

I spun around quickly as I was no longer held back by his strong arms. My breath caught in my throat when I took in his appearance. The fact that he was barefoot and clothed only in a pair of cut-off shorts didn't surprise me. No, what surprised me was the fact that he looked thinner, like he hadn't been eating. The dark circles under his eyes told me he hadn't been sleeping either. But, worst of all, there was something wild and dangerous about his demeanor. He was like a caged animal aching to strike. I forced myself out of my shocked stupor and reached for him.

"Jake, wait where are you going?"

He looked at me, I mean _really_ looked at me for the first time and there was fire in his eyes. I cowered slightly under his furious gaze. His body trembled and his lip quivered. I had never seen him look so angry or hurt in my life. His cheekbones jutted out sharply against the smooth skin of his face. I stifled a gasp when I realized that all of his beautiful hair had been shaved off. He was practically bald and the rain poured down his face in rivulets. He glared at me, his hands clenched into tight fists.

"I can't believe it," he roared. "I fell for it again! You tell me you need me and I come running. Why do I even bother? A guy can only take so much. You must really think I am a dog that'll stay loyal even after you kick and beat me down repeatedly. Well I've got news for you. I'm not going to lay down for you to kick anymore. You have your _leech_ to take care of you now. I should have just listened to Quil."

I was so upset that I couldn't think straight. My Jacob was here, just within my arm's reach. I wanted nothing more than to just fall into his embrace where I knew all would be well. He was standing in front of me and it felt like the sun had come out amidst the clouds and rain. And yet, I couldn't deny that his light was dimmed. He wasn't the same. I told him what he needed to know, hadn't I? None of what I had said that day at the Cullens' was true. I had to lie to him. I told him as much in the letter. So why was he acting like that? And then it occurred to me that his anger wasn't about that horrible night.

"Wait a minute Jake. Is what true?"

"What?"

"Before, you asked me if any of it was true. What were you talking about?"

"For Christ's sake Bella, stop playing me. I'm talking about the fucking letter! The letter _you_ wrote telling me that you and Edward were a sham. What I don't get is why you'd even write something like that if it wasn't true. What's with all the games? I mean, you don't think I've suffered enough?"

I threw myself against his chest and held him tightly. His arms hung limp at his sides.

"Oh Jake, I'm so sorry. I keep hurting you. I thought you were talking about that night…that night at the Cullens when I told you…Oh God Jake, none of that was true. The Volturi were _there_. They were watching and listening to everything we said. You were about to mention that you were tracking vampires…and I couldn't let you say anything because they didn't know about you yet…and I knew I had to be hurtful to get you to stop, to save you, because I knew you wouldn't believe me otherwise…and I didn't know you read my letter. You really read the letter? After I mailed it to you, I never got it back. So, I didn't know what to think…"

I blabbered about everything, barely stopping to take a breath. I clung to him, forcing him to stay put. I had him back in my arms and I wasn't going to let him get away again. He reached behind his back, grabbing my hands, and easily broke my grip. His fingers snaked around my wrists and he looked at me with new-found hope in his eyes.

"Bella, please stop."

My mouth snapped shut as I met his gaze. His hands moved up to caress my face. I closed my eyes, pressing my cheek harder against his hand, savoring the familiar feeling. His warm breath warmed my face despite the cold and I couldn't help but smile.

"Bella, everything you said in the letter, is all that true?"

I opened my eyes and saw need and love reflected back at me. I nodded against his hand.

"Yes, Jacob. Every word I wrote was true. I'm absolutely in love with _you_. These past two weeks have been the worst of my life. Just knowing that you were hurting and that I was the cause of it…"

I didn't get a chance to finish because Jacob's mouth crashed down on mine. His soft full lips parted mine as he sensuously sucked my lower lip into his mouth. He pressed my body close to his and my hands moved instinctively to tangle in his hair. As soon as I touched his head I pulled away breaking our kiss. Jacob eyed me questioningly.

"Jake, your hair? What did you do?"

He grabbed my hands and kissed them before embracing me. He held me close and whispered, "It doesn't matter now."

I dropped the subject because it was clear that he didn't want to talk about it. A part of me felt like mourning the loss of one of his most beautiful attributes. I absolutely loved his hair and often thought that it was unfair for a guy to have such a gorgeous mane. It made me sad to think that his hair was yet another victim of the horrible charade. Well, I would just have to get used to it. He would always look beautiful to me. I rested my head against his chest feeling at home and at peace for the first time in a month.

After a few moments of silence, Jacob pulled away and grabbed my hand. The look in his eyes was wild, intense.

"What the hell am I doing? Bells, I've got to get you away from here. Come on, let's go."

He pulled me after him, but stopped when he noticed I wasn't following willingly.

"Bells, come on. We have to run away. It's the only way I can keep you safe!"

"Jake, I can't. _We_ can't. If I left now, Jane and Alec would have the Volturi here immediately. All the Cullens would be killed."

"Sounds good to me," Jacob declared. I flinched at the hatred in his words.

"You don't mean that."

"I sure as hell do! If they have to pay the price for me getting you to safety, then I'm all for it. They can defend themselves."

"Jake, I would drop _everything_; leave everything I know, everyone I love to follow you, if I knew it would make a difference. But it won't. They'd find us."

"And what," he replied angrily. "You don't think I can protect you?"

My hands caressed his face soothingly. "Jacob, I have no doubt that you'd do whatever it took to protect me. You'd protect me with your very life. And that's why we can't leave. They'll find us, and we'll die. We'll _both_ die. I can't let that happen. I love you too much to let you die for me when there's another way."

He calmed slightly and sighed. "So what are we supposed to do in the meantime? You're just going to shack up with _Edward_ while I stand by and let those evil bloodsuckers threaten your life? Fuck that! I'll get the packs to take them out."

"Jake, you can't do that! The Volturi aren't staying forever. In fact, assuming things haven't changed, they should be leaving soon. We can't get you or the wolves involved. Not now; not yet."

"I can't just sit around and do nothing. We're made to fight these things."

"Yes, you are. But you're not ready yet. You have no idea what you'd be facing. You'd be fighting blind. You have to stick to the alliance with the Cullens. You can't fight the Volturi alone."

"You actually expect me to work side by side with that prick after everything that's gone down?"

"Jake, he only did what was necessary to keep our cover."

I flinched slightly as the words left my mouth, realizing that that wasn't completely true. My mind wandered to Edward's kiss earlier in the evening. After all, he was the reason I left the house upset in the first place. He clearly crossed a line. I wasn't going to lie to Jacob, but I'd wait until he was a little calmer before I explained what happened.

Jacob eyed me warily looking as though he had read my mind. Then he turned away from me burying his head in his hands.

"I should have read the letter sooner," he sighed. He turned back to me, accusation in his eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner, like, I don't know, before you had to break my heart?" He did nothing to veil the bitterness in his voice.

"Jake, what are you talking about? I explained all that in the…I thought you read the letter."

"I did," he replied sheepishly. He ran his hand over his shaved head nervously. "Well, I kind of skimmed it. I mean, I read the important stuff."

I laughed for the first time in two weeks. The sound was music to my ears. "Well, I guess it's just like you to do your homework half-assed. Do me a favor, when you go back home, read it again."

"Sure, sure," he nodded. Then he frowned, looking as sad and dejected as he had when I first saw him.

"Jake, what is it?"

"I'm just so pissed at myself for being so stubborn. The letter was sitting on my nightstand for over a week. I was just so hurt and angry. But, I swear I knew something was up that day. I saw it in your eyes when you told me that you didn't love me. Nothing you said made any sense. I think deep down I knew you were lying. I just didn't know why. And then I saw his ring on your finger and lost all hope. I couldn't bring myself to believe that you ever cared about me when you could hurt me so much. Fuck, I've wasted so much time. I should have just trusted you."

I quickly threw my arms around him trying to comfort and reassure him at the same time.

"Jake, don't you dare blame yourself for this! I don't blame you for believing my lies. That doesn't mean you didn't have faith in me. I've been in your position before, remember? And I believed _all_ the lies. As far as you knew, I _did_ betray you. The fact that I never left you in my heart wouldn't have been much comfort to you when seeing me in Edward's arms. I wouldn't have acted any differently if I were in your position."

He returned my embrace. I didn't even notice the cold and the rain when I was in his arms. Even though I was drenched to the bone I felt warmer than I had in a month. My fingers traced the contours of his smooth back. He stiffened in my arms. I looked at him and saw that his eyes were filled with doubt.

"What about Edward?" He asked.

"What about him?"

He sighed and paced in front of me. "I saw you kissing, Bella. Hell, it seems like the whole reservation and town of Forks has seen it. And don't think I haven't noticed that his scent is all over you. I can practically smell him on your breath. I'm trying here, Bells, but what am I supposed to think?"

His eyes strayed down to my left hand. I immediately covered the offending ring with my right hand.

"Jake, this ring means nothing. The kissing, the embraces, everything you saw or were told about, was all one-sided. I felt nothing, other than sad and lonely from missing and hurting you."

"But, it's been two weeks Bells. Maybe you playing the part has lead to feeling something for him again."

"Jake how fickle do you think I am? You should know better than anyone that I'm not the same confused girl who left for Jacksonville. There's no doubt in my mind that my heart belongs to you. You know I love you, right?"

"I _know_ it, but it's really hard for me to _feel_ it right now. I guess I'm just a little confused and I'm afraid you might realize soon that you are too."

"I was right," I whispered more to myself than to Jacob. "The scars are too deep."

"What?"

I looked into Jacob's eyes and my heart broke all over again seeing the hurt and pain that he failed to hide. I panicked thinking our reunion would be short-lived, that despite the truth being known, there was nothing I could do to fix _us_. Maybe I had hurt Jacob too much and he wasn't going to come back to me. I strained under the weight of the implications.

"Jake, does this mean that it's too late? Is the damage irreparable?" My body shook with the cold that had suddenly sunk into my very skin. I trembled in the rain, fearing that all was lost.

Jacob wrapped his arms around me and whispered, "You're shivering. Come on, we should get you out of the rain."

"Jake, if you want to make me feel better then tell me you're not breaking up with me!"

The tears flowed freely from my eyes, but were made nearly invisible by the rain falling down around my face.

"Bells, what are you talking about? You think I want to break up with you? Have you lost your mind? I never said that. Please don't think that honey. I love you. I just don't know if I can go back like nothing happened. You're still my girl. I just need a little time."

I took a calming breath and wiped the tears from my eyes. I was bound and determined to prove my love to him, to make things right between us.

"Jake, whatever it takes; whatever it is, I'll do it. I want to fix this. I want to fix your broken heart the way you did mine. I know you need a little time, and that's fine, really it is. I don't care if it's not the same as it was before. I'm going to win your trust back. You never gave up on me. All those months when you were everything to me and I gave you nothing back; you were there for me. Well, I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to give up on you. I can be annoying too you know. I'll be there, every second of every day, getting under your skin, breaking down your walls, healing your heart. I'll do that everyday until that smile I love so much comes back to grace your face and your arms are opened wide. I love you Jacob. I just don't work without you!"

Jacob's eyes were wide with shock. I smiled when I saw that their dark depths were filled with nothing but love for me. He looked at me completely awestruck. He closed the distance between us, cupping my cheek in his hands.

"Bells," he whispered tentatively. "It's not that easy. I…" He seemed as though he was lost in thought; as if he was fighting an internal battle between what he wanted to do, and what he thought he _should_ do. "Fuck it!"

And then he came at me like a force of nature. He pushed me up against the car, almost violently. I grunted at the impact, but moaned in encouragement. He kissed me, devouring my mouth with more fire and passion than I'd ever felt. I was so surprised and taken off guard by his assault that it took me a moment before I responded in kind. I returned his kisses just as vigorously. His lips and tongue were rough and unapologetic against my own and I loved every second of it. I groaned as my hands flew to his shaved hair; my fingers splayed out on either side of his head and I pulled his mouth even closer to mine.

His kisses were wild, demanding, and intoxicating all at once. All of our mutual, pent-up passion was released and we were hard-pressed to contain it. A year ago, I might have been mortified at the thought of being caught making out with my boyfriend in a public place. But, I didn't care. So much had gone on in the past two weeks. I wasn't sure if I would even experience something like this again. The rain merely intensified the sexual tension. The need to be with him, to reclaim the intimacy we'd shared was overwhelming.

His hands moved up my back under my shirt. My skin felt like it was engulfed in flames and I never felt more alive. His hands then traveled down my backside and he cupped my ass, squeezing hard and leaving me breathless. Before I knew it, he lifted me up by my ass and deposited me with a grunt on the hood of Edward's car. I moaned into his mouth as he pushed my legs open wide so that he could step between them. He pressed his body against mine, making me ache for him down to my core. His hands groped and pawed at my body over my clothes. His touch was fevered, desperate; like he didn't know what he wanted to touch more. So, he touched me everywhere, repeatedly making my skin hum.

I growled as his tongue tasted mine. When I gasped for air he attacked my neck with hot, wet kisses. He nipped and bit and I new he would leave marks, and I couldn't be bothered to care. His hands were everywhere at once. Every part of my body was burning for him. My mind was focused only on the feeling of his tongue, lips, and hands. He was an animal with his strong caresses. It felt like we were participating in a primal mating ritual, with him grunting and claiming me as his own. I needed this. _We_ needed this. I didn't care what he did. I didn't care that we were about to have sex on a public street on the hood of my ex-boyfriend's car. None of that mattered. All that mattered was that Jacob still loved me. No matter what damage I had done, he would forgive me because he needed me as much as I needed him.

"Bella, tell me," Jacob said between pants. "Am I dreaming again? Is this real?"

I groaned in ecstasy at his renewed onslaught with his tongue on my neck. "Baby, I'm here," I replied.

My voice sounded husky with desire. "I'm here. I'm real. This…right now…is real. I love you."

He moaned in my ear at my words. My hands roamed all over the strong muscles of his back. He nuzzled against my hair, biting my shoulder. He unbuttoned my shirt from the bottom up, exposing my stomach and allowing his hands access to my breasts. The rain had soaked through my clothes and underwear. My nipples were pert and begging for his touch. His left hand moved up my shirt and he grasped my breast firmly. He tugged and pinched my nipple between his fingers and I cried out at the mixture of pleasure and pain. It was invigorating to be able to really _feel_ again and I'd take the pain with the pleasure any day. I moaned as his other hand roughly undid my jeans, his fingers dipping dangerously close to the epicenter of my craving.

"Oh God Jake!"

He growled again and pushed me down so that I was lying across the hood. He hovered over me, his eyes lost in lust and desire. I was short of breath and on the verge of spontaneously combusting if he didn't take me right then and there.

"Please, Jake!"

"Bella, I need you. _All_ of you."

"I'm yours, Jake. Only yours."

He groaned as his eyes locked on mine, oozing sex. He grabbed my hips hard and ground his body against my aching center. He growled as his tongue fiercely explored the exposed skin of my stomach and below the waistband of my jeans. There was no stopping him. Just when I thought he was going to put me out of my blissful misery, he stopped short and pulled away.

I sighed in frustration as he stood up, his hardness painfully protruding from his shorts. I immediately ached for his skin, his touch; the sheer weight of him against my body. My head was in a fog. He had made me feel so good and we hadn't even done anything yet. His power over me could be so intoxicating. He grabbed my hands and brought me up to a sitting position and rested his forehead against mine. We were both quiet, trying desperately to catch our breaths. When I finally felt composed enough, I touched his cheek, begging him to look at me.

"Jake, what is it? What's wrong?"

"_This_, this is wrong," he sighed.

My lip trembled and the traitorous tears sprang from my eyes.

"You…you don't want me?" My voice quavered, filled with pain and rejection.

Jacob looked into my eyes and gasped. "Bells, honey no, it's not that. I wasn't thinking. I was like an animal for a second there, all instincts, and I was too rough with you. I wasn't exactly thinking with the right brain."

"Jake, I'm fine. To be honest, I kind of liked it." The blush of my skin warmed my cheeks and I tried to smile despite my embarrassment.

"Well, either way, it's just not right. I mean, look at us."

He moved his hand back to my jeans, raising the zipper and closing the button in one swift flick of the wrist. His hands then moved up to my shirt, slowly buttoning me back up.

I was frustrated. I knew Jacob loved and respected me, but I thought he was taking the sentiment a bit far. We were adults after all. Okay, I was an adult. He just looked and acted like one. What was the big deal?

"What I said before is true. I just need some time. I just…God…I always want you so badly. But, you deserve so much better than this. I'm so confused. I mean, we're on a public street for Christ's sake! What if we got arrested for public indecency? Yeah, I think Charlie would love bailing his daughter out of jail for that. It's not okay for me to just have my way with you, even if you are wiling. I feel like I'm taking advantage of you. I'm sorry."

"But, Jake I…"

"Well, that's probably the smartest thing you've ever said, _dog_!"

"Edward," I whispered.

I turned to the left and saw that Edward had snuck up on us. Jacob must have been so lost in the moment that he didn't even sense his presence. Jake growled and pulled me completely off the car and into a protective embrace. Edward looked like a feral animal, soaking wet with his wild hair plastered down around his face. His jaw was clenched tightly in an attempt to stay calm. He ignored Jacob completely and glared at me.

"Bella, we need to leave, now!"

"Why, what's going on?"

Edward looked incredulous. "What's wrong? Bella, you disappeared. Alice called me with a vision. I would have come immediately, but I had to come up with an excuse to get away from Alec and Jane. They're too suspicious for my liking. I ran all the way here thinking the worst; that maybe you were attacked or possibly the Volturi had come for you letting Alec and Jane be a diversion. Imagine my surprise when I come to your rescue only to find you…well a compromising position would be an understatement."

"Look _leech_," Jacob began, but Edward interrupted him with fury in his eyes.

"Save it mongrel! You're thoughts are practically screaming at me. You and I have nothing to discuss."

Edward walked up to us and bent down in front of me. When he stood up he had the keys to the Volvo in his hands. I hadn't even realized that I had dropped them when Jacob startled me. Edward took me by the arm in an attempt to lead me away.

"Let's go Bella."

He pulled one arm while I felt resistance from the other. Jacob still held me tightly. I pulled against both of them in frustration.

"Quit it you two. I'm not a toy!"

"Leave her alone Edward! Maybe Bella doesn't want to go with you."

"Jake," I whispered.

"Sure Jacob, why don't you just keep her with you? And then you can explain to her father how your pig-headedness got her killed. Oh, wait. You won't be able to do that because you'll be dead too. You know, I knew you were an impetuous child, but I can't believe you could be this stupid. You just couldn't stay away from her; not even to save her life!"

"Well neither could you asshole! Or have you forgotten that you're the one who got her in this mess in the first place? So don't preach to me like you're above it all."

"Alright that's _enough_!" I yelled, putting one hand on Jacob's chest and the other on Edward's to prevent them from coming to blows. "Both of you, that's enough. Edward, I'll go with you."

"Bells, what the…"

"Jacob, I need to go with him now." Jacob looked angry and hurt. I turned to Edward.

"Edward, please, just wait in the car. I need to speak with Jacob."

Edward nodded curtly, got in the car, and started the engine. I turned back to Jacob and ignoring the fact that Edward was watching, I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him down into a desperate kiss. He surrendered immediately to my touch and groaned contentedly.

I broke the kiss and tried to soothe him. "Jake, please don't be upset. You know I have to go back now. It's all just a show. You believe that, don't you?"

"Yes, but…"

"Shh, Jake. You don't know how happy you've made me. I've felt like I was slowly dying these past two weeks. I felt so lost. Now that you know the truth, I can deal with anything they throw at me. Go home, get some rest and _please_ keep your distance. I don't want the Volturi to find out about you now, after I've worked so hard to keep you safe. I'll call you everyday and let you know what's going on, okay?"

He nodded in agreement, but looked like he was at a loss for words. His hands fell to my waist, pulling my body flush with his.

"I love you Bells. I'll do anything you need me to do."

I looked up into his eyes and smiled warmly. "Jake, all I need you to do is trust that I love you and that as soon as I can, I'll be back in your arms for good. I love you so much."

I stood on my tip toes cradling his face in my hands. I leaned in kissing him deeply and passionately. I didn't care that the rain continued its assault on our skin. I didn't care that Edward was impatiently looking on. All I cared about was having Jacob in my arms and feeling as though all was right with the world. I pulled away and tried to convey everything I was feeling with my eyes. He simply nodded and smiled my favorite smile. I could have cried with joy at the sight.

I squeezed his hand reassuringly and whispered, "I'll come back to you Jacob. I promise."

"I'll be waiting," was his only reply.

I turned away from him and walked towards the passenger side door of the Volvo. I got in and looked up only to find that Jacob had already disappeared into the night. I would have thought it was all a dream if it weren't for the angry look on Edward's face. Edward quickly got us on the road heading towards the highway and back to Forks.

I stared out the window, not wanting to discuss what Edward had witnessed between Jacob and me. I was still angry with him for his behavior earlier in the evening, and I felt that it was none of his business what I did with Jacob anyway.

"Bella, your shirt."

Edward's voice sounded harsh in the somber quiet of the car.

"Huh, what?"

Edward simply glanced down at my shirt and then back into my eyes. I looked down and blushed furiously. My hands immediately set to work in buttoning up the remaining buttons that Jacob had left open. When I was finished and sure that I looked decent, I directed my attention back to the view beyond my window.

Edward suddenly reached into the backseat and said, "Here Bella, you're shivering." I looked down to find he had placed his jacket on my lap. I left the jacket there and replied, "I'm fine, really."

Edward let out a frustrated sigh. "Bella why must you be so stubborn? Why must you insist upon being so reckless? You're cold and wet and you'll probably catch your death if you aren't careful."

When I didn't budge, he turned the heater on high. I rolled my eyes at him. "Well, I wasn't cold when I was with Jacob."

Edward flinched at my low blow. "Yes, well, as I said, you were being reckless. It was bad enough that you snuck off to be with him, but the way I found you two…well it wasn't exactly appropriate behavior."

"Oh please, Edward," I replied. "I didn't sneak out to meet him. He read my letter and came to find me so that we could clear things up. So you can stop with the whole superior act. You weren't exactly taking the moral high road when you were groping me earlier!"

Edward's fingers clenched tightly around the steering wheel. "Bella, about that…"

I cut him off. "Let me guess, you're sorry?"

"Bella please let me explain."

"Go ahead," I replied. I took his jacket from my lap and put my arms through the sleeves. I didn't want to acknowledge that he was right, but as soon as I left Jacob's heated embrace, the cold and wet sank into my skin making my body tremble.

"Bella, I am truly sorry for what happened earlier. I told you that we needed to be more _convincing_ for Jane and Alec. When I kissed you, you _responded_ to me. It was everything I had wanted. For a moment there, I got a little lost."

His confession piqued my interest. I turned towards him and met his anxious gaze, urging him to continue.

"After everything we've been through, after losing you more than once, I just got carried away. I know I've used that excuse before, but I just can't help myself when it comes to you. I know the past two weeks have been miserable for you. And I've told you how much it hurts me to see you in such pain. But, for a moment there, I thought you needed me as much as I still need you. I let myself give in, to enjoy you the way I've always wanted to. I know it was wrong, but I thought you were kissing _me_. I was too caught up in the moment to realize that you were half-asleep and dreaming about…_him_. For the briefest moment in time, I felt as though I knew true happiness. I didn't realize anything was wrong until you got up and left. I'm sorry for hurting you."

He seemed sincere, and I didn't want to drag the conversation out longer than necessary. "Look, what's done is done. I don't really want to talk about it anymore. I just can't figure out why you had to come to Port Angeles all in a huff and try to start something with Jacob."

"Bella," he answered angrily. "He had my _fiancé_ up on the hood of _my_ car! What was I supposed to do?"

"Edward, I'm _not_ your fiancé! I'm not even your girlfriend. You act like I'm cheating on you or something."

"Bella, how could you be so naïve? For all intents and purposes, you are my fiancé, at least while the Volturi are lurking about. There's no intermission for this play! How am I supposed to react? What if Jane and Alec had decided to follow me? Jacob is a fool. He should never have come anywhere near you. He's proven yet again that he's dangerous!"

"How can you even say that? You're such a hypocrite. You call him dangerous, he who has never hurt me. Yet, the whole reason you left me was because your world was too dangerous for me. Jacob loves me. And when you're in love you do foolish things. We're all fools for love, Edward. You should know that better than anyone."

Edward flinched at the harshness of my words, but I would not be deterred.

"Look, Jacob and I have both been miserable for the past two weeks. And obviously that hasn't helped in convincing Alec and Jane that you and I are happily together. Now that we've talked, I feel like I can handle this. So, stop throwing blame at Jacob. Was it foolish for him to come and see me? Maybe, but that's the one thing that's making this whole charade worthwhile."

We remained silent for the rest of the drive. I let my mind wander, thinking of my reunion with Jacob. It wasn't what I had pictured two weeks ago, but it was more than I could imagine. The car stopped and I was startled out of my private reverie.

I looked out the window and realized that we had pulled up to my house. And that's when it hit me. Charlie and I had had a horrible fight that very morning. I felt terrible about the things I had said and the way I behaved. I was so angry at what the Volturi had done to my life. I dreaded having to talk to Charlie. Edward seemed to sense my anxiety.

"He's already asleep."

"Oh, thanks."

"Bella, I need to get back home and check in with Alice and the others. I'm sure you're going to want to get cleaned up. I'll come back when you're done."

"Alright, I'll see you later then."

I went into the house and headed upstairs. I grabbed an oversized shirt and some sweatpants before going into the bathroom and taking a long hot shower. I hated to admit it, even to myself, but Edward was right. I hadn't taken care of myself over the last two weeks. My lack of eating and sleeping had left me weak and I had spent entirely too much time out in the cold rain for one night. Though my heart told me it was worth it, my body began to tell me that I was getting sick. I had the water set on scald and I was still shivering. I felt a little lightheaded and was finding it increasingly hard to breathe. Yep, I was definitely coming down with something.

I came out of the bathroom dressed for bed and walked into my room feeling miserable. Edward was waiting for me, sitting at the edge of my bed. He was nice and dry with a fresh set of clothes. He held a small paper bag in his hands.

"What's this," I asked, pointing to the conspicuous bag.

Edward smiled and handed it to me. I looked inside and found an assortment of cold medicines.

"Thank you, Edward."

"Don't thank me," he replied. "Thank Alice."

I sat on the bed and opened the box for nighttime relief.

"Would you like me to get you some water?"

"Yes, thank you. There's a glass in the bathroom."

Edward sped out of the room and was back with a full glass of water before I got the pills out of the packet. I took the medicine and tucked myself into bed. I couldn't help but notice that Edward had something on his mind.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

He hesitated before answering. "It's Alec and Jane. When I stopped by at the house, they said they have something important to tell us tomorrow morning. They want us all there."

"What do you think it is?"

He sighed and paced the room, pinching the bridge of his nose as was his habit when nervous or frustrated. "That's just it Bella, we don't know. Alice can't see anything. When it comes to the Volturi, she's blind. We all are. I'm not going to lie to you. Alice is terrified of what that can mean for you; for us. I can still hear them, when they want me to. But, they've gotten really good at keeping me out. They've literally become closed-minded."

I sneezed and started coughing. Edward was by my side in a flash.

"Love, are you alright?"

I chuckled and waved him off. "You know Edward, if I didn't know you better I'd say you're happy the Volturi are here. You're just so excited that you get to play house and take care of me all the time. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if you asked the Volturi to come in the first place."

_Silence._

Edward stared at me in disbelief.

"Oh God, Edward you didn't!"

"Bella," he began, seemingly at a loss for words. "I can't believe you would accuse me of such a thing. I'm at a loss for words. I can't believe you would imply that I would intentionally put you in harm's way."

His expression turned from shocked to angry in a second. I felt a little lightheaded, as though the medicine was starting to kick in. Edward continued, his voice slightly raised and harsh sounding.

"Contrary to popular belief, I _actually_ love you. I would _never_ do anything to hurt you."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You tell me. You're the one who's with the dog after you promised to marry me; after begging me to stay by your side because you were miserable without me. What am I supposed to think when it appears to me that you're doing just fine?"

I sat up in my bed, ignoring the dizziness that was threatening to cause me to blackout. Edward stood up and walked towards my window, looking out into the night.

"Edward, is that what you think? And before you answer, please just sit back down, you're making me dizzy. I'm sorry about what I said. It was a stupid joke. I didn't mean it. It was insensitive. To be honest, I think the cold medicine is making me a little loopy. But, you need to know that we're never going to have a future where we can be friends if we're both stuck living in the past. So, please sit down."

I tapped the space on the bed next to me and Edward sat down staring at his hands resting in his lap.

"Edward, how can you think I didn't love you enough? Don't you get it? It's not like I woke up one morning and decided that I didn't love you anymore. I've never stopped loving you. God, I don't know how I can make this any clearer."

I was frustrated and clearly Edward was confused. We kept fighting; kept having the same arguments. It was a vicious cycle leading us nowhere.

"When you left, I was broken. My heart was shattered into tiny pieces. I loved you so much that your leaving destroyed me. Eventually, I started to heal. There were scars, and memories of the pain, but slowly my heart became whole again. And you were still at the center of it. The only difference was that I had someone else in my heart too. And as much as I denied it; and as hard as I tried to get rid of him, I couldn't remove him from my heart. I realized that I had been so naïve. I was naïve to think that my heart was only capable of loving one person fully. My love never stopped. It just grew, expanded to include someone else. When you came back, it was already too late. My heart had swelled and it couldn't go back to its original size."

I grabbed Edward's hands and squeezed them.

"Edward, none of that means that I didn't love you. I'm not telling you this to hurt you more. I'm telling you to give you hope. I may have been the first person that you loved in a hundred years, but that doesn't mean I have to be the only one. You can learn to love again. You have to stop living in the past with the 'what ifs' and 'might have beens.' Personally, I'd live through all that pain over and over again if it meant being with Jacob. You _have_ to move on. Learn from your mistakes, stop dwelling on them. Don't you see? There's not just one person out there for us. Sure, sometimes it works that way, but not often. When we're dealt heartbreak, the only way to survive it is to let your heart grow. You have to open it to someone new."

Edward looked at me pleadingly, with sorrow marring his beautiful face. "Bella, I don't know if I can." He groaned burying his head against my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him offering comfort.

"That's because you haven't tried. You're still holding on to me. Look, Alice told me about the visions she's had about your future."

"That meddlesome little…"

"Edward, she cares about you. And so do I. Promise me that when you meet her, you'll open up your heart; that you'll give her a chance. If you won't do it for yourself, please do it for me."

"Love, why can't you understand? The thought of not loving you just seems…_wrong_. I feel like it would be a betrayal."

And realization swept over me.

"Do you believe that if you love someone else, that that will mean you didn't truly love me?"

He nodded dejectedly. I was stunned. I realized that after a hundred plus years of living, I was witnessing a breakthrough first-hand. I was finally able to show him, teach him something he didn't already know. He had his own concept of what true love was, and I needed to help him redefine it. I had to show him that there was another way. My hand caressed his beautiful cheek.

"Edward, our love for one another was real and true. Just because I love Jacob doesn't mean I didn't love you. And just because you learn to love someone else, doesn't mean you didn't love me. Some love isn't meant to last forever. Our love was wonderful and I'm so glad we had that short time together. It has forever changed the course of my life. I wouldn't give it up for anything. But, we just weren't meant to last. You may be frozen forever at seventeen, but that doesn't mean you can't grow and change as a person. I've seen it with my own eyes. You've just got to be open to it when it comes. You did it for me. Next time you'll be able to do it for yourself. And you'll find your happiness. I believe that with my whole heart."

Edward's golden eyes locked on mine. It looked like we had finally come to a true understanding. It looked as though he had finally found some inner peace; some hope to help him carry on. He caressed my cheek.

"You know, you really have grown into a beautiful woman. Thank you for telling me all of this. I'll behave from now on. I promise. Jacob makes you happy. No, he makes you glow. But, more importantly, he makes you laugh. When I came back and had to see you with him, I knew I was in trouble when I saw the smile on your face and heard the laughter in your voice. It's truly the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. Everything with us has always been so serious. It's always life or death kind of intensity. That goes a long way, but it's hard to maintain without a little levity added to the mix. I just don't make you laugh. And you need that in your life. I can go on knowing that he'll always be able to inspire that beautiful sound in you. I'm sorry that I ever tried to get in the way of that."

"Edward stop being sorry. Just promise me that we'll figure out something to do about the Volturi."

"I promise. Now, you need to get some sleep. Those pills should be really kicking in about now."

I lay back down and let Edward tuck me in. He sat against the headboard, his body on top of the covers. His hand rested on my forehead and I immediately felt soothing relief.

"Edward, would you mind staying like that? I feel kind of warm and your hand feels wonderful."

"Of course love. Now, get some sleep."

And I did. In fact, I slept better than I had in a month. But the restful sleep was short-lived. When I woke up the next morning, I felt terrible. I was in the throes of a full-blown cold. My nose was stuffed, my throat was sore, and my body ached. Edward looked down at me, concern in his eyes.

"Good morning love."

"Ugh, what's good about it?"

"That bad, huh?" He chuckled. "Here, take some more medicine." He offered me some more cold medicine with a full glass of water.

"Thank you."

"You're more than welcome."

After I took my medicine, Edward got up from the bed. "Okay, I'll leave while you get ready and I'll come pick you up. Alec and Jane wanted to meet with us within the hour."

"Um, Edward do you think it's wise to pick me up? I mean, I hear Charlie downstairs. Maybe now's not the time to push him further."

"I think it'll be alright Bella. His thoughts have been rather distracted all morning. Maybe I can smooth things over with him. Besides, it's not like you have a car of your own, remember?"

I had completely forgotten about the demise of my beloved truck. After seeing Jacob and getting to hold him in my arms, it didn't seem that important. Now, in the harsh light of day, without any means of transportation, or money to fix the problem, I was sullen thinking of becoming dependent on Edward or Charlie for rides.

Edward smiled understandingly and said, "I'll meet you downstairs."

I took my time getting ready. I began to think my cold might actually be the flu. I banished the thought from my mind as soon as it appeared. Flashbacks of the last time I had the flu came to mind and I refused to go through another day on my knees in front of a toilet bowl. To top it off, I was anxious for the meeting with Jane and Alec to be over. I didn't even care what they had to say. The anxiety of not knowing was much worse.

I was already dressed when I heard Edward's knock on the front door. I ran down the stairs, but Charlie beat me to the punch and opened the door instead. I saw a shocked and surprised look on Edward's face which made me stop in my tracks. Before I had a chance to react, Charlie grabbed Edward by his collar, pulled him inside, and pushed him up against the wall.

Charlie's voice was low and menacing. "I don't _like_ you Edward. I never have. I _hate_ the fact that my daughter is wasting her time with you."

"Sir," Edward stuttered, trying his hardest to look fearful. "I was just picking up Bella for Alice. Alice couldn't come…"

"Shut up! I don't want to hear it. If I find out that you're doing drugs, or giving them to my daughter, or doing anything that can be construed as questionable behavior, I'll have your ass in jail faster than you can blink. And no amount of your parents' money will be enough to erase that from your permanent record. So you can kiss Dartmouth, or Harvard, or any of those other pretentious schools I just know you're dying to be part of. Am I clear, _son_?"

"Yes, sir. You're perfectly clear."

I was shocked. I had never seen Charlie that angry. I was frozen in place while he laid into Edward. I knew Edward wasn't physically threatened, but I didn't like the fact that Charlie was taking out his anger on Edward who really wasn't at fault. I found my voice and yelled, "Dad, stop!"

Charlie let go of Edward and glanced back at me. His eyes were filled with a mixture of sadness and fury. He marched into the kitchen to grab his coat and walked out the door without another word.

I was stunned. Edward seemed to take it all in stride. He straightened his shirt and coat and walked towards me looking concerned.

"Bella, are you alright? You're looking a little pale. Well, you know, paler than usual."

He smirked and I chuckled at his attempt at humor after such a dramatic scene.

"Hey, you made a funny."

"I thought it would be nice to try something new." He smiled, making me laugh before his face turned serious again.

"Bella, love, it's going to be alright. Charlie will be fine."

"He could barely look at me Edward. He really hates me right now."

Edward embraced me, kissing the top of my head. "On the contrary, he loves you more than words could ever express. He's angry right now. And he _really_ hates me."

I chuckled. Charlie's dislike of Edward was no secret to anyone. I just never considered those feelings ran so deeply. Of course, I could hardly blame him. After seeing what Edward had done to me when he left, I wouldn't want my daughter dating him either.

Edward continued, "In fact, he really wanted to hurt me just now. I had to remind myself that I wasn't human and that I didn't need to be afraid because your father can be rather terrifying when he wants to be. Now I know where you get it from."

"God, just when one thing starts to go right, two more things go wrong. It's getting worse with Charlie. How am I supposed to fix this?"

"One thing at a time love. First, we deal with the Volturi. Then, we'll deal with the Chief of Police."

We walked through the Cullens' front door fifteen minutes later. The whole family was gathered together on the white couches in the living room. Alice ran to me and held me in her arms as her form of greeting. No words were spoken, but the tension in the room was palpable. Jane and Alec had yet to make an appearance. No one dared speak as we waited patiently for our doom.

After about five minutes, Alec and Jane came down the stairs with suitcases in their hands. Jane surveyed the room until her eyes fell on me.

"Ah, I see our little lovebirds have made up, excellent. We have an announcement to make. We're leaving, _today_."

I almost fainted from sheer excitement. Luckily, Carlisle had the presence of mind to speak to distract Jane and Alec from the joyous expressions that appeared simultaneously on our faces.

"Well, that's too bad. We hoped you would be staying longer. I assume your report to Aro will be favorable?"

"_Report_," Jane asked confused. "Oh silly, we were never here on official business. Alec and I were actually just on holiday and decided we'd stop by on a lark and see how the other side _exists_. Though, I suppose I can see how you might have misunderstood our intentions." She laughed maniacally, while we all stared at each other dumbfounded.

Carlisle maintained a calm demeanor when he asked, "So, you mean that Aro didn't send you?"

"Nope," Jane giggled in response.

Edward couldn't contain his anger any longer. "Then why in God's name did you put us through hell watching our every move and turning our lives upside down?"

"Oh Edward, why would our presence turn your lives upside down?" She eyed him knowingly. Edward grimaced and took an involuntary step backwards, knowing that he had revealed too much. He asked almost under his breath, "Then why weren't we able to see you coming? Why all the secrecy?"

"Why all the secrecy indeed!" A flash of anger passed over Jane's face. "All will be revealed in time." She eyed Edward who purposefully returned her gaze. All of a sudden Edward gasped as if he had been dealt a blow straight to the gut. I threw my arms around him thinking that Jane was using her powers on him, but he didn't look like he was in pain. Rather, he looked distant; his eyes were glazed over. Jane laughed and Alec smirked.

"Well," said Jane. "We'll be leaving now. Thank you for your hospitality. We can't wait until we can return the favor."

I couldn't deny the ominous ring to her words. She walked to the front door and stopped waiting patiently for Alec. Alec walked up to me and paused.

"Bella," he said. My body immediately went rigid at the sound of his cold voice. I hadn't heard him utter a single word the entire two weeks and hearing his voice then could not have meant anything good.

"It was a pleasure getting to spend so much time with you. You'll make an excellent vampire. Though we weren't here on official Volturi business, I do believe that Aro will be interested in what we've seen here." He grabbed my hand and kissed it. "We'll be seeing you soon my beautiful Bella."

And with that, Jane and Alec were gone. I remembered thinking, _what the hell just happened?_ Was it possible that the whole ordeal was finally over? We beat the bad guy, in a manner of speaking. Yet, there was no real sense of victory. Nothing made sense. Though Alec's parting words left me with a feeling of impending doom, I couldn't help but think that I was free to be with Jacob. I wanted to go to him immediately. My heart and soul craved him.

Unfortunately, I was held prisoner by my weak body. I was feeling sicker by the minute. I felt hot and lightheaded and my stomach turned viciously. Alice was by my side immediately, her arm wrapped around my waist for support.

"Thanks Alice," I mumbled weakly.

But, Alice was focused solely on Edward. I looked around the room and realized that _all_ eyes were watching him anxiously. Alice broke the awkward silence.

"Edward, what did you hear? What has you so frightened?"

Edward looked at me pleadingly, his eyes full of sorrow and fear.

"Aro…he has a new favorite; a vampire who can cloak the Volturi in secrecy. They can block themselves from your visions Alice. That's why you didn't know Jane and Alec were coming. The only reason you saw that they would only stay for two weeks was because they let you. You're blind Alice. _We all are_."

**A/N: Okay, sorry for the delay on this one. But, this is my longest chapter to date, so I hope that counts for something. This may not have been the Bella/Jacob reunion some of you were hoping for, but I do plan on addressing it more fully in the next chapter. So, please review, and let me know what you think. Thanks again.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do NOT!!!**

**A/N: I'm so sorry I took so long to update. But, I already have the next chapter written and once it's typed and I do my revisions, I should be able to post it in one week. Special thanks to my anonymous reviewers for the last chapter: Me, Kandykane, Raven, Alyssia, and Sherra129. Thank you so much! And of course to everyone who read & reviewed the last chapter, thank you again! For everyone who has put me on their favorite list and story alerts, thank you and I hope to hear from you as well.:) And finally, a special thank you goes out to my beta Christine. Thanks for your help.**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE **

"_We're all blind_." Edward's words echoed through my mind. Well, that sounded dire. I knew I should be panicking; hyperventilating or something. But, I was just too physically exhausted to bother. I felt dizzy and nauseous and all I wanted to do was talk to Jake. I needed to tell him that we were free to be together. I had had enough of the Volturi to last a lifetime. I wanted to enjoy the fact that they were gone, even if it was going to be short-lived.

"Edward," Alice spoke as her arms strengthened their grip around my waist. "I need to get Bella home, _now_. She's going to pass out if I don't get her in bed in fifteen minutes."

"Jake," I mumbled.

"I know sweetie. We'll call him."

"No, take me to him."

"No can do Bella. Let me get you home first and then I'll call Jake." Alice's voice was sweet but stern, leaving no room for argument.

"Alice, maybe I should take Bella home." Edward sounded hopeful. I saw the look Alice gave him and he recanted immediately. "Oh, of course, Bella could use some girl time I suppose."

Alice helped me into her yellow Porsche. I was vaguely aware of the rest of the family telling me their good-byes and wishing me well.

The next thing I knew Alice was carrying me upstairs to my bedroom. She undressed me and put me in some cotton shorts and a tank top. I was too delirious at that point to protest and besides, it's not like Alice wasn't intimately familiar with my body anyway. I was burning up with a fever, yet I was chilled to the bone.

"Alice, why'd you put me in this?" I whined. "I'm too cold. Hand me my sweats, please."

"Bella, trust me. You won't be cold for long. Now lie down and get comfortable. You're going to be sick with this for a few days. Carlisle's getting some antibiotics for you and I'll bring them by later. Now, come on, relax."

She tucked me into bed, her cool hands brushing the hair out of my face. She looked sad.

"I'm so sorry Bella."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because," she sighed. "The next few days are going to suck! Now, close your eyes and get some rest. I have a phone call to make."

I tried to fight the exhaustion taking over. It was still early morning and I couldn't believe how tired I was. I wanted to see Jacob. With the Volturi gone, for now, there was no reason to stay away from him. But, I didn't have the energy to speak, let alone drive myself over to visit him. Of course, I didn't have a car either. I felt sleep claiming me and thought of Jacob standing on the beach, his long hair flowing in the wind, with his gorgeous smile lighting up his face. It was a Jacob from a happier time. That image warmed my heart as I fell into a fitful sleep. But it was a sleep plagued by nightmares; the worst of which being one where I felt as though I was cooking alive in an oven. I was so hot I could practically taste the heat in my mouth. I panicked. I tossed and turned trying to break free, but nothing worked. And then I heard a husky voice calling to me.

"Bells, honey wake up. It's just a dream."

I shot up in the bed, disoriented. The room was dark. Had I slept all day?

"Bells, are you okay?"

My heart soared at the sound of his voice. I turned to my right and saw Jacob lounging in the bed next to me, his eyes filled with concern. My breath caught in my throat. He was gorgeous. Even with his closely shorn locks, he was as beautiful as a male model. Dressed solely in his requisite sweatpants, he still exuded sexuality. It was only when I looked closer and saw the dark circles under his eyes and the way his pants hung looser than normal that I could see the pain that was still fresh on his mind. _I_ had done that. _I_ had hurt him. He looked so sad even though he was trying to hide it. That was My Jacob; ever the silent martyr.I lunged at him throwing my arms around his neck ignoring the dizziness that swept through my head.

"Jake," I gasped in surprise. Was I still dreaming? "What are you doing here?" I heard him chuckle as he nuzzled against my neck. He held me in his strong embrace, reminding me that I was safe and warm in his arms.

"I'm here to take care of you."

"But, how did you know I was sick?"

"Alice called me. She filled me in on everything that went down yesterday."

"Yesterday? How long have I been out? What time is it?"

He chuckled as he brushed the sweat-drenched hair from my face. "Well, I got here around ten in the morning yesterday, just after you fell asleep. And now," he looked over to my alarm clock. "Now, it's about three in the morning. How are you feeling?" Jake asked concerned. "Well, that's a loaded question. Let's see, I'm terrified because the Volturi can now strike without any warning, which means, most likely, that I'm going to die. Well, at least a lot sooner than I had planned." Jacob cringed and held me tighter, nodding his head in encouragement to continue. "I've slept for seventeen hours straight and I feel more exhausted than I did when I fell asleep. I'm nauseous, I'm anxious, but most of all, I'm so happy that you're here that I could cry. But, then again, I'm afraid to cry because my throat is sore and I know I'm going to get a runny nose and my eyes are going to puff up and you probably already think I look terrible. So, does that answer your question?"

He pulled me down so that my head lay against his chest while his chin rested on the top of my head. "You're sick Bells, and that's all you have to worry about for the next couple of days, okay? The Volturi have hurt you enough and I'm going to make sure they never do that again. They're not going to touch you. Let's just focus on making you better. Now, you're going to have to brace yourself because Alice said today would be the worst day. But, you should be feeling more like yourself soon. She couldn't see any further after that because I showed up. But, she brought over some antibiotics a few hours ago. When you're ready to eat, you should take some."

_Eat_. The thought of eating set my stomach in turmoil. I rushed out of bed, mindless of the dizziness in my head and ran for the toilet. I proceeded to empty the contents of my stomach into the porcelain bowl. I was shocked considering the fact that I couldn't even remember the last time I had eaten anything. I was sweating and miserable. I felt Jacob's body heat before I heard him. He crouched behind me on the floor of the tiny bathroom and pulled my hair away from my face. He rubbed soothing circles on my back as I continued to retch and vomit.

"Oh God," I groaned helplessly. "Jake, you shouldn't have to see this. This is so gross."

"You're right. I shouldn't have to see you looking so miserable. But, that's life. People get sick and the people who love them take care of them. Besides, this isn't gross. I share my mind with a bunch of teenage wolves. Nothing you do could possibly gross me out."

I dozed in and out of consciousness with my head resting on the cold linoleum floor. I had never felt so wretched in my life. Jacob stayed by my side through it all. He played with my hair. He even hummed some Quileute songs to soothe me. He was in the middle of a rather loud rendition of one of those songs when I came back to myself momentarily.

"Shh, Jake be quiet! Charlie's going to hear you. It's three in the morning. He's going to freak if he finds out you're here." Though my stomach protested against the sudden movement, I rose on my knees in an attempt to push Jacob out of the bathroom and out of the house before Charlie unleashed his fury on us. Of course, he was immovable like a mountain so I didn't make much progress. I resorted to begging and pleading.

"Jake, please you've got to get out of here!"

His hands wrapped around my wrists, restraining me gently. "Bells, shh, relax. Charlie knows I'm here. He wanted me here to take care of you."

"What? But, he was so mad at me about the whole Edward thing. I haven't even talked to him because I didn't know how to explain and…"

"Bells, it's okay. I took care of it. Now, are you feeling well enough to get back to bed?"

"Yeah, though I don't think my stomach's through being angry with me."

He chuckled, carefully lifting me in his arms and carried me back to my bed. There was no need to turn on a light as the moon shown brightly through my window. Jacob excused himself from the room only to come back a few minutes later with a large glass of orange juice and some pills in his hand. "Here, Alice said you should take these as soon as you woke up." He handed me the glass and I swallowed the pills down, grateful to have something in my stomach even if it wasn't food. He tucked me back into bed with his arm cradling my neck and held me to his chest.

"So," I said impatiently. "What's going on with Charlie and how exactly did you 'take care of it'?"

"Well, you don't have to worry about Charlie anymore. I was with you all day yesterday and when Charlie came home for dinner, I had to explain why I was the one taking care of you. He asked why Edward wasn't here so I had to come up with an explanation for our behavior over the past two weeks."

I looked up into his eyes. "Jake, what do you mean you came up with an _explanation_? What did you say?"

"Relax Bella," he sighed. "Don't you trust me?"

I immediately regretted questioning him when it brought such doubt to his voice. I had already put him through so much and the pain was still evident in his eyes even though he tried to conceal it from me.

"Jake, I…"

He waved me off and held me tighter. "Don't worry about it Bells. And, stop worrying about Charlie. He seemed pretty relieved that I'd be here to take care of you. He probably thinks he's punishing me by _forcing_ me into caring for you. If only he knew…I'd give my life to…well…either way, you're in the clear."

"I don't understand."

"While you were sleeping, Charlie and I had a little heart to heart. I told him that after my trip with the guys I got scared about where _our_ relationship was going. I told him that I panicked and thought I was too young to be in such a serious relationship and that I wanted to see other people."

My body stiffened automatically. I knew it was just a manufactured lie to save my ass and keep Charlie in the dark, but it brought up my own insecurities of not being enough for Jacob. But, I pushed those negative thoughts aside and concentrated on the fact that Jacob was _there_; in my arms where he belonged.

"Anyway, I told him that I broke up with you and suggested that you go back to Edward since I couldn't give you what you wanted. I told him that you weren't really _with_ Edward, but that he was being a friend to you when you were confused and heartbroken."

"And he believed you?" I asked.

"Bells, I can be pretty convincing when I need to be. Besides, he's a father of a teenaged daughter. He loves you so much that he's willing to give you the benefit of the doubt as long as he has a scapegoat who can take the brunt of his anger. And I'm it. I told him it was all my fault; that I was immature and pushed you away because things got too serious. He blames me Bells. You don't have to worry about anything."

"Oh Jacob, that's not right! I can't let you take the blame when you were the real victim. Charlie loves you. You shouldn't have to make yourself look bad in his eyes just to save my ass."

"And what's the alternative?" he asked. "Alice told me how miserable you've been about the way you left things with your Dad. It's not like you can tell him the truth. This way, you can patch things up with Charlie right away. So I have to prove to him how much I love you, big deal. I'm happy to do it. So, he hates me right now; I can deal. He'll get over it eventually."

I wondered to myself; how did I get so lucky to have this man in my life? He had been with me through thick and thin and all he ever asked in return is that I love him half as much as he loved me. He was willing to take the blame for something that hurt him more than anyone. Imagining Jacob as immature was preposterous. He was the strongest, most loving person I had ever known and he was all mine.

Though Jacob had set himself up as a scapegoat for Charlie's wrath, I knew he'd be okay. Charlie loved him like a son and he was known for being forgiving. Yes, he would be angry. Charlie did have a temper. But that was only because he felt I deserved the best. He'd give Jake a hard time until he was sure Jacob wouldn't "hurt" me again. Knowing Jake, that wouldn't take too long.

I smiled to myself and held Jacob tighter in my arms. I wondered what that conversation must have been like between Charlie and him, especially knowing how angry and, if I was honest, violently protective Charlie could get.

"Jake," I asked out of curiosity. "Did Charlie throw you up against a wall?"

"Huh, what? No, what kind of question is that?"

"Hmm, then he doesn't hate you."

He cocked his eyebrow and said, "Okay, it sounds like I missed something."

"Mmm," I replied, barely able to keep my eyes open. "You did, but I'll explain it later."

"Alright Bells, keep your secrets for now." He kissed me lightly on the forehead. "Get some sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up. I love you."

As usual, Jacob's presence had a healing effect on me. He always helped me stay centered. No matter what we had been through, at a fundamental level, we were and always would be just Jake and Bells. I had my best friend back and it was a wonderful feeling. I sighed contentedly, safe and sound in his strong embrace. I mumbled, "I love you," before drifting off to sleep.

I woke up alone later that morning to the sun shining brightly in my face. I thought it had all been a dream until I grabbed a pillow to block the sun's rays only to be bathed in Jacob's scent. He had been in this bed. That was real. But he had also promised he would be here when I woke up.

I got out of bed and made my way to my dresser. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and was horrified. I looked terrible. My hair was a sweaty, sticky mess. My skin was pale and drawn, and I'm pretty sure I smelled. But, there was a light in my eyes that had been missing for weeks, and that had everything to do with _My Jacob_. I didn't care how terrible I looked because I could deal with anything with Jake by my side.

I looked for Charlie in his room, but he wasn't there. He also wasn't making any noise in the kitchen so I figured he must have been at work. I trudged into the bathroom in desperate need to get cleaned up. I didn't even hear the water running in the shower until I glanced up at the open shower curtain and came face to face with a stark naked Jacob, soaking wet with soap suds cascading down his god-like physique.

My mouth fell open and I shamefully ogled my very naked boyfriend. I was on the verge of drooling. I knew he had heard me come in, but he continued with his shower unfazed by the virtual peep-show he was putting on for me. It wasn't like seeing Jacob in the nude was a new thing. It just had been so long since I could see him, touch him, or taste him that I was overwhelmed. Minutes passed and I couldn't take my eyes off of his beautiful body. He finally turned to me with a brilliant smile on his face.

"Bells, close your mouth, you're drooling."

My mouth snapped shut and I felt the blush travel down my face to my chest.

"Well," he continued playfully. "See anything you like? You know, we've never showered together before. If you're up to it, I think it could be fun. What do you say?"

I wanted to answer, 'Hell yes I am.' But, before I could open my mouth, I clutched my abdomen suddenly overcome with nausea and emptied what little remained in my stomach into the toilet. This flu was killing me and I had never felt more miserable. The water stopped and Jacob was standing over me in an instant. Water dropped from his naked body onto my fevered skin. And then, he did the unthinkable. He started laughing.

I moaned as another violent wave of nausea rolled through me. Jacob brushed my hair back away from my face, unable to stifle a chuckle.

"I'm dying and you're laughing at me?" I asked, shocked by his manic behavior.

"Bells, you're not dying."

"Yes, I am," I moaned dejectedly.

He knelt next to me and I was amazed that I had the presence of mind to be disappointed that he had thrown a towel around his hips.

"Honey, you're not dying, and I wasn't laughing at you. I was laughing because my hot-ass naked body makes you want to puke. Not exactly the ego boost I need after the month I've had."

"Oh God Jake," I groaned. "I'm sorry. I…"

"I know Bells," he chuckled. "You're dying. I'll forgive you this time. Here, let's get you cleaned up."

He turned the shower back on and the bathroom quickly filled up with steam.

"Jake, I don't know if I have the energy. I feel so weak. Maybe I should just go back to bed."

"Honey, the steam will clear your head and the heat should help with your sore muscles. Plus, you don't need energy when you've got me."

Before I could reply, he brought me to my feet. He looked into my eyes and I was overwhelmed with the love he had for me. He bowed down to kiss me on the forehead before his hands moved to my waist. He pulled the hem of my tank top; and gently lifted it up and over my head. I gasped in surprise, feeling vulnerable now that I was standing topless in front of him. It had been a long time since I had felt so strange and awkward in his presence. I panicked and covered my chest with my arms and lowered my eyes. I heard Jacob sigh and his hands caressed my face. He didn't offer any words of reassurance. He simply forced me to endure his gaze. His love and affection swelled and crashed into me like a wave and I melted into his touch. "I love you," he whispered. I lowered my arms opening myself fully to him.

He smiled at me stroking my cheek with his fingers. He then knelt in front of me. My heart faltered as I remembered the last time Jacob had knelt in front of me. I couldn't believe that it had only been two weeks since that devastating time in our lives. I clung to him in response and held him tightly against my chest. I wanted him to know and feel how much I loved him; how much I needed him in my life. Jacob returned my embrace and angled his head towards me. Our eyes locked and the painful memory was immediately replaced with hope for a long future together.

His hands grasped my hips and he slowly pulled my shorts down my legs. I placed my hands on his broad shoulders for balance and stepped out of my shorts. His fingers gently trailed a path up my legs as he stood before me and dropped his towel. I couldn't stop the blush that flooded my cheeks as I lowered my eyes to see him hard and ready for me. He lifted my chin so that I could look into his eyes. Though his body told me that he _wanted_ me, his eyes simply conveyed limitless love and devotion.

We stood naked in front of one another, as a passionate silence passed between us. Though we both desired each other's touch, there was an unspoken understanding that that kind of intimacy could wait. That chaste moment together was far more important to restoring our relationship after the damage that had been done.

He held out his hand, which I gratefully took, and led the way into the shower. I followed with his arm supporting me. I still felt weak and light-headed. Jacob stood behind me steadying me with his hands on my hips. He turned me so that I was facing the shower spray. I immediately felt better. The steam cleared my sinuses giving me a temporary reprieve from my congestion.

I ducked my head under the spray and soaked my hair. Jacob reached for my strawberry scented shampoo. His hands found their way into my hair, working it into a lather as he massaged my scalp. I moaned contentedly. Jacob kissed my wet shoulder in response. He then turned me around so I was facing him. One hand caressed the back of my neck while his other hand splayed out across the small of my back. He dipped me back, in a graceful move typically relegated to a dance floor, to rinse out the shampoo, careful not to let the soap run into my eyes.

He gently turned me back around and reached for my conditioner. I was putty in his gifted hands. He grabbed the comb I leave in the shower for just that purpose and carefully spread the conditioner evenly through my long strands. I felt the teeth of the comb subtly tickle my skin as it tracked down my spine. Jake put the comb back down and reached for my soap. Before I knew it, his soapy hands were gliding all over my slick skin.

My body was covered in goose bumps and my heart was beating dangerously fast. I was weak and sore from the fever, but Jacob's touch had me floating on air. There was nothing particularly sexual about his touch, but I couldn't hide the wetness that was seeping from my core. I knew he could sense it; smell my arousal. The steam seemed to accentuate the aroma and I found I was dizzy more from over stimulation that from illness. He was kind and soothing, and he made me feel wonderful. His soapy hands caressed my breasts, inadvertently stimulating my sensitive and neglected nipples. I leaned against his chest, letting his strength and warmth support me. His gentle caresses conveyed more than words ever could. I knew just from his touch that we were going to be okay. It was as if he was washing away all the pain and doubt that had darkened our hearts over the previous two weeks. It was a baptism of sorts; a symbol of a new beginning. I felt lighter and hopeful despite the dark cloud of the Volturi that perpetually lingered in the back of my mind.

When I was thoroughly cleaned and my hair was rinsed, Jacob massaged my aching muscles. He started with my shoulders and slowly moved down to my thighs and calves. His touch was making me weak. I had to lean forward and brace myself against the tiled wall. I hung my head and let the water cascade down my back as Jacob's skilled hands worked miracles with my body. His arm wrapped around my waist just as my legs gave out. He turned the water off, held me in his arms and stepped out of the tub. He set me on my feet and grabbed a towel wrapping it snugly around my body. He bent down and gazed at me with concern in his eyes.

"Bells, are you alright?"

"Yeah," I mumbled. "I'm fine…I…I just got dizzy." I looked into his eyes and gently caressed his cheek. "I love you Jake. Thank you."

He patted my hand on his cheek saying, "And I love you Bells. I always have. I don't work without you either."

"Here, have a seat," he said and he helped me down onto the edge of the tub. "I'll be right back." I nodded in acquiescence as he ran out of the bathroom, still naked. I heard rustling in the bedroom and then I heard Jacob run down the stairs. The dizzy spell that prematurely ended our time in the shower had passed. I stood up and walked over to the sink, looking at my reflection. My cheeks were flushed which was a vast improvement from the wan look I had sported just an hour earlier. I brushed my teeth and moisturized my skin while I waited for Jacob to return.

I heard him running back into my bedroom. I decided I was done waiting for him and met him in my bedroom still clad only in a towel.

"Jake, what are you doing?"

He grinned at me and I noticed he had thrown on a fresh pair of sweatpants. I would say that I was disappointed that he felt the need to wear clothes if it weren't for the fact that he looked drop dead gorgeous in sweatpants. They hung low on his hips accentuating his long, sculpted torso. I sighed appreciatively.

"Sorry I took so long Bells. I needed to change the sheets. With your fever and my hot body temp, there was a lot of sweating going on last night. I think your fever's pretty much broken so I figured it would be nice to sleep in some clean sheets."

"Wow Jake, thank you. I feel terrible though. Here I am, weak helpless Bella again waiting for you to take care of me."

He walked up to me bringing me into a warm embrace. "Bells, you're not helpless. You're sick. There's a difference. How many times have you cooked for me; for Billy and for Charlie? You care for everyone. Let me take care of you. In fact," he headed towards the door. "Why don't you get dressed and I'll get you something to eat."

"Oh, I don't know if I can eat anything yet."

"Hmm," he replied thoughtfully. "Do you think you can handle some toast?"

I smiled at him. "Sure, I think I can handle that."

He touched my cheek lightly with his burning finger-tips before turning and leaving the room. As he walked downstairs to make the toast I rummaged through my drawers looking for some clean sweats to sleep in. I dropped my towel and threw on a pair of thin white sweatpants, foregoing underwear. I figured if I'd be sleeping or lounging the rest of the day that I wouldn't need an extra layer of tight fitting garments. I was looking for a shirt when something on the floor caught my eye.

Sitting beneath my window was a large box with clothing spilling out down the sides. I grabbed a t-shirt from the top and realized that it was one of Jacob's shirts. Then I recognized that the box was full of all the things Rosalie and Emmett took with them when they cleared my room. I brought the shirt up to my nose and inhaled Jacob's piney, earthy scent. I threw it on and knelt next to the box going through its contents. Among other things, I found the hand-carved picture frame Jacob had made for my birthday; the very frame that contained my favorite picture of us taken on our road trip home. I hugged the frame to my chest as tears of joy welled in my eyes.

I placed the picture on the floor next to me and looked towards the bottom of the box. I found a flat, rectangular jewelry box at the bottom with a note attached. It was from Alice and it read, _I told you I'd keep it safe for you_. I opened the box and gasped in surprise, just as Jacob walked back into the room.

"Bells, what is it? Are you okay?" He hastily set the tray of food on my nightstand and hurried to my side. His arms wrapped around my shoulders protectively.

I showed him what I was looking at and he immediately relaxed and smiled in understanding. He reached into the jewelry box and pulled out my charm bracelet and fastened it around my left wrist. I sighed in relief because it felt like I was finally being reunited with a missing part of myself. Jacob smiled and kissed me gently. He helped me up and walked me to my bed. He propped the pillows against the headboard and I leaned against them as he tucked the blankets around my legs.

"Jake, how did that box get here?"

He grabbed the tray with a plate of buttered toast, jam, and a glass of orange juice and placed it on my lap before he answered. "Well, yesterday while you were sleeping, Alice dropped it off along with some dinner for me and Charlie. She came in to check on you since she couldn't _see_ you while I'm here. She stayed with you while your Dad and I ate."

Jacob stretched alongside me on the bed, his head propped up against his hand. He watched as I nibbled on the toast, testing to see if my appetite had returned. My stomach still felt queasy so I only had a few bites before downing the entire glass of juice and taking the pills Jacob offered me. He removed the tray from my lap and placed it on the floor by my bed.

"That was really sweet of Alice. Did she say anything about the…"

"Alright, none of that Bells! You're sick and we're together again. We can handle those Italian bloodsuckers when you're feeling better."

"Jake, just because we don't talk about it doesn't mean they're not a threat."

"I know that Bells. Sam has already taken both packs to meet with the Cullens. We haven't been idle while Sleeping Beauty has been resting." He kissed me on my cheek and smiled at me before continuing. "We've already set up training schedules to learn how to fight these things together. We know that Alice is blind now, so they could come back at anytime. But we can't stop living because we're waiting to be picked off. All we can do is be prepared. When they come back, we'll fight them and we'll win."

He was so passionate that I couldn't help but believe that we actually stood a chance. I glanced down at the bracelet that adorned my wrist and knew with my whole heart that he was right. We would not go down without a fight and whether we had two weeks or sixty years together, I was going to make them count.

I suddenly felt exhausted. The shower had worn me out more than I had originally thought. I yawned and slunk down in the bed turning towards Jacob with a contented smile on my face.

"You look like you've had a pretty tiring few hours Bells. Let's get some sleep, okay?"

"You're staying with me?"

He rolled his eyes. "What have I been saying honey? I'm not going anywhere. I'm here to take care of you. Now scoot over."

I chuckled and closed my eyes in anticipation of a restful sleep. He threw his arm over my body cupping my breast with his warm palm and pressing his body against my back.

"I love you Jake."

"I know," he replied. We fell asleep soon after.

I woke up and it was dark outside. I checked my clock and saw that it was after five in the evening. I sat up in bed stretching my sore limbs and noticed that I immediately felt better. I still wasn't a hundred percent, but I felt refreshed and clear-headed. It seemed like it might have been the twenty-four hour flu after all.

When I looked up, Jacob was leaning against the wall in my doorway looking gorgeous. He had thrown on a t-shirt over his sweats but he was still barefoot.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Good, not great, but good. Were you here the whole time? God you must have been so bored."

"Not really. I napped with you for a while then I ate and watched some TV. It's kind of stuffy in here. Do you feel like hanging out with me downstairs?"

"Sure," I warmed to the idea of spending some quality time with Jacob since I was feeling a little better. "Just let me freshen up a bit and I'll meet you downstairs."

I didn't feel like getting fully dressed for lounging on the couch. So I threw on a sweater over my t-shirt. I brushed my teeth and washed my face in the bathroom before heading downstairs to Jacob.

We snuggled on the couch together. I had missed that. Jacob had a knack for making the simplest things so meaningful. He wrapped me in a blanket as he nestled me between his legs so that I could lie back against his chest. We were in the middle of watching a movie when I realized Charlie would want dinner when he came home. I attempted to pry myself out of Jacob's arms to see what I could come up with.

"And where do you think you're going? I'm way too comfortable with you in my arms."

I smiled and turned to him. "Jake, Charlie will be home any minute now. He's going to be hungry and I should have some food waiting for him."

He frowned and asked, "Who are you, Mrs. Cleaver? This isn't the Fifties Bells and your Dad can take care of himself even if he's lazy and forgets that sometimes. Besides, I called him earlier and he said he was going to stop somewhere to pick up food."

I snuggled back against his chest enjoying our closeness. His hands gently pulled on strands of my hair sending tingles to my scalp and relaxing me thoroughly.

A half hour later, Charlie came through the front door laden with enough food to feed…well, Jacob. Jacob jumped up from behind me and off the couch to help Charlie with the food. I was nervous because I hadn't really talked to Charlie since the morning we fought and I ran out of the house. Yesterday didn't really count since he was busy dealing with Edward. I followed them into the kitchen where Jacob was unloading the food and setting out plates.

"So, Charlie, where'd you get all this food?" Jacob asked.

"Well, I was visiting with Billy after work when Emily showed up. She said she had heard Bells was sick and brought over some soup for her and some lasagna for us."

Charlie turned around to hang up his gun belt and almost ran into me.

"Oh, sorry Bells," he stammered. "I didn't see you there."

"It's okay Dad. I've been perfecting my Ninja skills."

Jacob burst out laughing and Charlie grinned looking slightly confused. I needed to talk to Charlie alone and then was as good a time as any.

"Um, Jake, would you mind leaving us alone for a second?"

"Sure, sure. Hey Charlie, how about I set up some TV trays and we watch a movie while we eat?"

"Sounds good, son."

_Son_. Well, for all his talk, Charlie clearly couldn't hold a grudge against Jacob for too long. That was one of the reasons I loved Jacob so much. To know him was to love him. You didn't get a choice in the matter. Even when he would piss me off, I could never stay mad at him for long. Apparently he had the same effect on my father.

Jacob left the kitchen with his arms full of food and dishes. I knew he could hear us, but Charlie didn't know that and I wanted to make Charlie as comfortable as possible. We obviously weren't comfortable with talking about our feelings with each other.

"Dad, I wanted to apologize for the way I…"

"Come on kid, Jake explained everything. We had a nice long talk, the two of us, and I understand why you behaved the way you did. It's water under the bridge."

"Well, I still want to say that I'm sorry. I know I've put you through so much and I hated the fact that I was disappointing you. I just want to promise you that nothing like that will ever happen again. Jake was…he was just confused. But, we've talked and…well, we're together and that's not going to change. So, please, for my sake, don't give him a hard time."

He sighed heavily. "Bells, I love Jake like a son. I don't like what he did to you, but I trust him. He's family. I won't give him a hard time…for too long." He grinned and I heaved a sigh of relief. I hated the fact that Jacob had to make himself the bad guy in this scenario and I wanted to do anything to smooth things over with Charlie on his behalf. Jacob didn't deserve any anger or mistrust. In fact, if Charlie knew the truth; if he knew the extent of the lengths Jacob had gone to save my life both physically and emotionally, time and time again, he'd probably throw himself on his knees in gratitude. "Well, like I said Dad, for my part, I'm sorry we upset you."

"Don't worry Bells. The only thing I'm upset about is that now I owe your ex-boyfriend an apology. Now that stings." He shook his head, frowning.

He walked into the living room mumbling under his breath, "Smug-faced punk kid acts like he's better than everyone…_oh look at me I'm so polite_…please."

Jake erupted into fits of laughter in response to Charlie's semi-private rant. I simply shook my head and grinned as I walked over to the couch and tucked into Emily's delicious homemade chicken noodle soup.

The next day signified the beginning of a new work week. I felt a thousand times better but milked my illness a bit with Charlie to ensure that Jacob could stay with me another night. I called Newton's and the publishing house to tell them I was recovering from the flu. I was told from both of them that business was rather slow at the end of October and to take all the time off I needed. I was appreciative of that, especially since I didn't know how I would get to and from work now that my truck had been destroyed by Jane.

Jacob and I were enjoying our time together. We didn't experience any passion like the night in the rain in Port Angeles or anything as sensual as the morning in the shower. Instead, every moment spent together was filled with loving caresses and chaste kisses. We did what we did best; we talked. We spent hours sharing the pain and despair we felt when we were apart. We carefully reinforced the foundation of our entire relationship and we trusted each other more than ever before. We were content with the slow pace because every gentle touch promised a fiery embrace to come. We both needed time to enjoy each other innocently and deeply before we threw sex back into the mix. That is not to say that we didn't want to. Jacob seemed to be suffering from a constant case of blue balls while I was wound a little tighter than normal. But, he never made a move on me, so I figured we'd both wait until the right moment.

By Tuesday, Leah had returned home and paid me a visit. She apologized for not being there for me in my time of need, which I immediately brushed off. I was so grateful for everything she said to Jacob before she left. Even though it didn't change anything that had happened, I was still appreciative that she stood up for me and vouched for my love.

For her part, Leah was absolutely, head over heels in love with Jack, who apparently felt the same way about her. He not only put up with Leah's bullshit, he dished out his fair share as well. They were a match made in heaven; or hell depending on your perspective.

Leah was so happy that she actually gushed over a Halloween Party that Sam and Emily were hosting at the end of the week. She must be in love if she was willing to attend a party; let alone one thrown by Sam and Emily.

"A Halloween Party?" I asked. "I don't know Leah. I'm not one for costumes or parties for that matter. And what about the Volturi? Shouldn't we…"

"Bella, enough with the Volturi! God it's like you have a one-track mind. And don't worry, they're not invited either." I glared at her. "Look, we're dealing with them. We've already started training with the Cullens. The Doc says his contacts have him convinced that the Volturi aren't going to act any time soon. Besides, now that your speed-freak pixie is blind, the Volturi could strike tomorrow, or ten years from now for all we know. You gotta live some time, right? Sam and Emily thought a party on the Rez would be a good way to boost our morale."

"I know you're right, and I agree with you. It's just that…"

"You don't want to dress up for the party," she said, finishing my thought.

"Yes, exactly."

"Well, toughen up cupcake, cuz you're going. You're newly bald-headed boyfriend is excited about this. In fact, he hasn't stopped talking about it since Emily told us about it this morning.

"Grr," I growled petulantly. "I don't even know what to wear. What's Jake going as?"

"Oh no, I'm not telling. You'll just have to wait and see. As far as your costume is concerned, well, let's just say I have the perfect idea. Let me just check your closet to make sure you have what I need."

After a quick survey of my closet, Leah was convinced that I had everything I needed for my mystery costume. I had no energy to argue so I let her leave with her secrets.

By Wednesday I felt a hundred percent better. I felt like me again. Jacob was busy with Sam and the packs patrolling and training. Alice came by that day with Edward's Volvo. When she came inside she was a giddy ball of energy.

"Hey Alice. What's with all the excitement?"

"Oh, I've just seen something and it made me really happy."

I eyed her suspiciously. "Alright you sadistic little pixie, what's up?"

"Well, I was sent here to convince you to take Edward's car as a replacement for your truck." My eyes bugged out of their sockets in shock. "Just let me explain before you have an aneurism. You don't have much money to buy a used car, and you won't let any of us buy you a new car. Edward was thinking of getting a new car anyway and he really wants you to have his."

I didn't want to offend Edward or Alice. They meant well and they were being more than generous. But, I didn't think I could accept such an extravagant gift. "Alice, thank you, but…"

"Oh Bella please take it. It's a Volvo so it's a really safe car. It gets great mileage, it goes faster than fifty-five miles per hour, and you have your own personal mechanic to make sure it stays in running condition. I mean, we feel terrible that Jane destroyed your truck on our watch. It's practically our fault you know." Her eyes were as big as saucers and she had a pout on her face that had been perfected with decades of practice. My resolve thinned.

"Oh alright Alice, I give in. I really do need a car, but I insist on paying for it."

She smiled knowingly. "Of course Bella." She reached into her purse and pulled out the keys to the Volvo and a piece of paper. "Okay, Edward's already signed the title over to you, so I just need you to sign and date it here." She pointed to the appropriate place on the form and handed me a pen.

"Okay," I said after the pink slip was signed. "Let's talk price. How much do I owe you?"

She smiled triumphantly and said, "That will be five dollars please."

"What? Alice don't be ridiculous."

"Sweetie, you already signed the title and five dollars was the sales price listed. So pay up and we'll have a deal."

I found my purse on the kitchen counter and pulled out the required five dollars from my wallet and handed it to her. "You know, you don't play fair."

"That's why I always win."

She threw her arms around me and hugged me tight as she jumped up and down in celebration. "I'm so excited for you. Besides, your poor truck wasn't going to last much longer anyway. Now, I wanted to give you some news."

Her tone was serious and the laugher left her eyes. I sat down at the kitchen table and she sat down across from me.

"That doesn't sound good."

"Well, it isn't bad, per se. We're all leaving for about a week to visit the Denali clan. They're some of our closest friends and potential allies against the Volturi. We need to present a united front to convince them to fight with us. It's not going to be easy. But, we need to try."

I thought of Tanya, broken by the loss of her two sisters at the hands of the wolves. I wasn't going to put much hope in her.

"When are you leaving?" I asked.

"Oh, tonight. I just wanted to tell you in person that we're not going to stop until we put an end to this madness. Our family dragged you into this mess, and we're going to protect you from it too."

There was no use arguing with her so I kept my mouth shut. She smiled and nodded in approval. "Wait, so does that mean you're going to miss out on Halloween? I would have thought you guys would have made a big deal about the holiday; you know, seeing as how you _are_ the undead!"

"Bella Swan, are you actually making a joke about the fact that we're creatures of the night?"

"I guess I am," I laughed in reply.

Alice giggled and I realized I hadn't heard that beautiful sound in a long time and it made me happy.

"Emmett's the only one who ever gets any enjoyment out of the holiday. He brings out a pair of plastic fangs every year and hisses and growls at us all day speaking in a terrible Transylvanian accent. To tell you the truth, it's pretty annoying. But, the rest of us don't really care for the holiday. I guess when you actually are the _undead_; Halloween just seems a bit commercial. It kind of loses its charm."

She spoke with all seriousness, but there was a twinkle in her eyes. I couldn't hold back my laughter anymore and we broke into a fit of giggles.

"Well," she jumped up from her seat. "Jasper's here for me. I've got to go Bella. But, before I do, I've seen you're Halloween costume and trust me, Jacob's going to like it."

"What is it Alice? Leah won't tell me anything."

"Nope, I'm not saying anything. It's going to be a surprise."

"Well, how do you know that he'll like it if you can't see him?"

"I know because, I've seen you when you get home the morning after." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. "Trust me; he's going to love it."

I blushed and shoved her out the door. "Bye Bella. I'll call you soon. Oh, I almost forgot." She tossed me the keys to my "new" car and said, "Love you."

I watched her as she bounced out the door, down the front steps and into her yellow Porsche. Jasper waved to me from the driver's seat and they took off down the road.

When Jacob came by to visit later that evening I was suddenly nervous about how he would react to my new "purchase." He walked in through the front door, scooped me into his arms, and kissed me like we hadn't seen each other in months. He set me back down on the floor, breathless and blushing with a satisfied grin on my face. He brushed a stray strand of hair out of my eyes and looked at me questioningly.

"So, I see Edward's car here, but I don't smell him. What's up?"

"Well, I kind of bought it from him?" It came out as a question.

"Okay, now I'm curious."

"Basically, Alice railroaded me into buying it for five dollars. You know how she is. They feel like it's their fault that my truck got taken out of commission. I figure, it's either take the Volvo, or deal with them trying to buy me some crazy bullet-proof Mercedes or a tank."

Jacob was quiet, but then said, "You know, they actually do make bullet-proof Mercedes. They're called…"

"Jake, I don't care what they're called. Are you upset?"

"Bells, I don't know if I'd have a right to be even if I were. It's your money, your decision. I mean, don't get me wrong. I hate the fact that you don't have your truck anymore, because I know you loved it. But, what I _really_ hate is that my girl's now going to drive around in a mom-mobile. I think you just aged twenty years by buying that. Talk about cradle robbing."

I punched him in the arm indignantly, slightly bruising my knuckles in the process. He smiled and took my hand in his, kissing each hurt finger. "Bells, after everything we've been through, I could really care less that you're driving around in Edward's car. Personally, I think a cherry red Ferrari would have suited you better."

"Please, like Edward would buy me a Ferrari."

"It's not like he can't afford it," he grumbled.

When Jacob left after dinner that night, he also left me breathless and agitated. I thought for sure he would have made a move on me once I felt better. Instead, he seemed perfectly satisfied with teasing and tormenting me. Between the packs' pow-wow in the woods and the Volturi, it had been over a month since we'd been intimate together. If the night on Edward's car (now mine) was any indication, he was just as anxious to be with me as I was to be with him. He was clearly excited whenever he was around me. He just wasn't acting on it. I started to think he was doing it intentionally to see just how crazy with need he could make me.

Friday rolled around and I decided to get back to work. I worked at Newton's until early evening and then headed home to meet Leah to get ready for the Halloween party. Charlie and Billy had planned a fishing trip for the weekend. Charlie hated dealing with all the Halloween escapades and opted to escape and leave the policing to his underling deputies. I was grateful for that because, with Billy gone, Jacob and I would have his house to ourselves for the entire weekend. My heart rate accelerated when I thought about being alone with Jacob, especially when I remembered Alice's hinting about how _satisfied_ I would be after the party.

I pulled up to my house and Leah was already waiting for me. We headed upstairs to my room. I took a shower while she set up her mini beauty parlor. I couldn't hide my smile when I realized I had traded a maniacal pixie for an equally scary makeover drill sergeant.

After I showered and dried my hair, I went back into my bedroom ready to deal with Leah. To my surprise, she had raided my closet and drawers laying out a sexy red laced bra and panty set, next to a gray cardigan sweater and a black pencil skirt that my mom had bought me in Florida.

"Okay, I give up. What am I supposed to be, a businesswoman?"

Leah sighed, apparently annoyed with my lack of vision.

"Bella, please. Look, I've shared Jacob's brain on numerous occasions…more times than I'd really like to think about. Even before you two got together, I was subjected to hours of his teenaged fantasies. Let me tell you sister, that alone could scar a girl for life. Anyway, I thought I'd help you both out tonight by dressing you up in Jacob's favorite fantasy outfit. So, break out your card catalogues missy, because you are going to be a sexy _librarian_ tonight.

**A/N: So, this may not have gone like some of you might have expected. I started writing and kept on going so I had to split it into two chapters. The next of which, as I said earlier, will come out next week. So, until then, please review and I promise next week you'll get the Halloween Party!:)**


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do NOT!!!**

**A/N: As always, I'd like to send a special thank you to my anonymous reviewers for this chapter: bubblegumlover, Meggie, KandyKane, and Amy. And of course, THANK YOU to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. Your reviews are always so kind and encouraging. They really do mean a lot to me. And of course, thank you to my beta Christine.**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX **

"A librarian?" I asked dumbfounded. Leah shrugged her shoulders. "I mean, I know Jake is smart, but he's not particularly _bookish_? He never mentioned anything about a librarian fantasy to me," I mumbled.

"Look," Leah had an amused expression on her face. "He was probably scared he'd freak you out so soon in your relationship. And you're going to do it because, I've had to share his thoughts over this past week and I'm telling you, if you two don't release some of this…_tension_, you're not the only ones who are going to go insane."

I sighed in defeat. "Okay, so I'm supposed to be sexy and all, but these clothes you set out are pretty conservative. I don't see how that's going to get the point across." Not that I really wanted to have to dress all sexy in front of the Pack, I added to myself.

"God Bella, do you not watch TV? The more conservatively you dress, the sexier you're going to look. It's the image he's after. He wants to see you as this perfectly coifed, prim and proper lady who wears stylish, but sensible shoes and skirts that cling to every curve but hit right at the knee. The sexy part comes from the skin he doesn't see and the idea that underneath all the prudish clothes, you're wearing sex-kitten underwear with a sex-drive to match. I mean, come on. It's just like the whole Catholic school girl fantasy, minus the plaid skirts and knee socks."

So I got dressed. I put on the red lacy underwear and loved how it contrasted with my pale skin. I knew Jacob would love that too. By the time we were finished, I was wearing the skirt and a modest but form-fitting gray cardigan with the top three buttons undone revealing more cleavage than I was normally comfortable with. Leah said that it was simple and understated, but hinted of the _vixen_ underneath. (Her word, not mine.) She insisted that I go without an undershirt as the sweater alone was part of the overall look. She styled my hair in soft curls and gathered it all in a bun, pulling tendrils loose at random to frame my face. My make-up was minimal except for the way she painstakingly applied dark eye liner and smoky shadows to emphasize my eyes. She said that they needed to look alluring under the pair of cat-like glasses frames she set on the bridge of my nose. She finished off the look with red lip-gloss, a short strand of faux pearls around my neck and a pair of black kitten heels.

I stared at my reflection in awe. I couldn't believe how different Leah could make me look, and yet still look like me. Everything I had on was something that I could wear on a regular basis. But, put together as they were, really illustrated the fantasy well. My clothes clung tightly to my figure, accentuating all my feminine curves, reminding me that I was a woman underneath the baggy shirts and old sweats that were the staples of my wardrobe. I could wear this outfit, with slight modifications, to a job interview, or, as I was wearing it now, to seduce my more than willing boyfriend. I smiled at the implications and felt a surge of confidence that had been missing for some time. Jacob was _mine_, and he would remember that before the night was through.

Leah left shortly thereafter to meet up with Jack. She wouldn't tell me what their costumes were either. I didn't understand the need for all the secrecy, but let it slide since they all seemed really happy and excited about something for once. It was getting late and I knew that the party was already under way. I quickly fixed myself something to eat from the previous night's leftovers. While I ate in the silence of my own kitchen, my mind strayed to thoughts of Jacob. It was torturing me not knowing what he was wearing. And then a thought occurred to me. Two could play that game. I knew just what would torture _him_. I ran upstairs to make a quick wardrobe adjustment, grabbed my purse, and then headed out to Sam and Emily's.

I pulled up to their place and saw that practically all of La Push was in attendance. I exited the car and adjusted my skirt and sweater. I looked down and blushed at the provocative amount of cleavage on display and quickly buttoned an extra button. Then I thought about it. This was Jacob's fantasy. And I was a newly confident young woman. I unbuttoned that extra button and took a calming breath before walking in through the front door with my head held high. I smiled to myself when I realized that my step didn't falter once on the gravel drive.

When I walked into the living room, my senses were accosted by loud music and laughter. The house was dark and black lit creating an eerie glow. Strings of orange pumpkin lights set up around the perimeter of the room were the only other light source besides the cleverly placed candles illuminating scary faces carved into the dozens of jack-o-lanterns scattered haphazardly around the room. Sam and Emily had outdone themselves. All the furniture was pressed up against the walls leaving the center of the room open for dancing. There were already small groups of young people gyrating and dancing freely to the primal beats. I set my purse down near the front door and scanned the room for Jacob. He was nowhere to be seen so I headed into the kitchen knowing that if he wasn't to be found there, I would at least find Emily.

True to form, Emily was busy setting out snacks to put on the dining room table. She was wearing a red hooded cloak that hit her at her knees over a red and white checkered dress. She had on ruffled socks with black flats. Her hair was parted down the middle and divided into two braids, tied off at the end with silky red ribbons. She looked lovely.

"Well, hello little girl," I whispered in her ear. "On your way to Grandma's house?"

She spun around with a huge grin on her face. "Bella," she practically screamed in delight. "You made it! I'm so glad to see you're feeling better. I can't tell you how happy I am that you and Jacob are back together. I was afraid that Jacob wouldn't have made it through that last separation." She frowned to herself then managed another smile and squeezed me again. My heart momentarily faltered at the mention of our recent separation. But I pushed the pain aside. Emily, always observant, squeezed my hand in understanding and said, "You guys have got to stop scaring me like that."

"Trust me Emily," I replied. "I'm sick of being scared like that too. Jake and I are in this together. I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to worry about us." She nodded. "So, if you're Little Red Riding Hood, is Sam the valiant Woodsman who comes to save the day?"

She giggled and opened her mouth as if to speak when Sam entered the kitchen right on cue. Sam walked in from the living room with an empty food tray in his hands and a disgruntled look on his face. I took one look at his costume and grasped Emily's arm for support as I doubled over in laughter. Sam was clothed solely in a pair of his requisite cut-off shorts. However, what stood out about the shorts was the fact that there was a shaggy black tail pinned to the seat. He also wore a head band with large, pointy, black dog ears attached. The tip of his nose was painted black and black whiskers lined either side of his face.

"Oh my God, Sam," I managed between fits of laughter. "You're the Big Bad Wolf!"

Sam growled at me in an attempt to appear menacing, but with the tail sticking out from his pants it only served to incite more laughter. He slammed the tray down on the counter top angrily. He glared at Emily, though his gazed quickly changed into a silent plea for help. I was on the verge of tears when Emily pinched my arm lightly, giggling, and asked me to go easy on him. I was grateful for the distraction because I didn't want the inevitable tears to ruin my make-up before I got a chance to see Jacob.

"So Bella," Sam said indignantly. "What are _you_ supposed to be, a Vice President or something?" He eyed my outfit skeptically, probably wondering how I had gotten away with not wearing a costume when he was dressed up like a fairy-tale creature.

"No, Sam, I'm not a vice president of anything. I happen to be a librarian."

Sam's eyes practically popped out of his face and a crimson blush spread across his skin. It occurred to me that Sam would know everything about Jacob's little fantasy as images of me in something very similar to what I was then wearing probably flashed through his mind. It was my turn to blush. Emily, sensing our discomfort, nudged me in the side.

"Bella," she said, her lower lip trapped between her teeth to prevent the impending giggles. "Why don't you go find Jake? He's around here somewhere."

I smiled at her gratefully and left the kitchen before I could be embarrassed further. As I walked out of the kitchen, I heard Emily whispering softly. I turned back around and saw that Sam had wrapped his arms around her while she whispered sweet and soothing words in his ear. I smiled to myself and left them to their private moment. I scanned the living room again. I was amazed at the number of people in attendance. Other than Sam and Emily, I didn't see anyone from the two packs and I started to get nervous. As if compelled by some kind of outside force, my eyes were drawn across the room to a figure leaning against the opposite wall. My breath caught in my throat as I met Jacob's eyes burning into mine.

Oh. My. God! I felt like I was in a teen movie where all the background noise faded away and everyone else in the room disappeared as we gazed at each other from across the room. My beautiful, handsome, strong, gorgeous Jacob was dressed up as a _cowboy_! My knees almost buckled as desire pulsed through my body. I would never look at cowboys the same again. Jacob's costume was straight out of an old western novel. He leaned against the wall with his long legs stretched out in front of him. His arms were crossed over his chest and his cowboy hat was set low on his face at an angle. I saw his eyes as they travelled slowly over my body appreciatively, mentally undressing me. My skin tingled from his gaze, my heart beat accelerated, and my breathing was labored. And he hadn't even touched me yet! His eyes narrowed and a smirk appeared on his face. My eyes were lidded with lust and I bit my lower lip in anticipation, heedless of the curious bystanders surrounding us. Jacob was the only person who existed at that moment. I felt drawn to him as if pulled by some invisible string.

Jake pushed off the wall and ambled towards me. I stood frozen in place like oh so willing prey waiting for its predator. My mouth was agape as I took in the details of his costume. He wore a modern western shirt that was an orange plaid. The sleeves were rolled up exposing his muscular, russet forearms and the shirt was opened halfway down the front highlighting his beautiful chest. The shirt was tucked into a pair of impossibly tight blue jeans which were held up by a gaudy wolf's-head belt buckle. But he didn't stop there. What took my breath away was the dark brown leather vest with matching leather chaps and cowboy boots. I glanced down and was surprised he wasn't wearing spurs and then thought that even Jake might have thought that would be overdoing it. He actually "moseyed" over to me, with a shit-eating grin on his face. He knew what he did to me. I took my eyes off of him for a moment and noticed that every girl in the room was thinking the same thing I was; that he was gorgeous in that outfit, but he'd look damn fine wearing nothing but the hat.

Jacob walked right up to me, tipped his hat between his thumb and forefinger, and said in the worst southern accent I'd ever heard, "Well, howdy there Ma'am."

I answered with shaking breath, "So, this was the big secret? You're a Native American _cowboy_?"

"Yep," he replied. "I'm being ironic."

I giggled then sighed as I stared up at his face. "God, I wish I lived in the Old West."

"Well sugar," he said, and my blood boiled at the sexy pet name. "I wish I would've paid more attention to my book learnin' cuz I'd leave the prairie behind and come to your library any day."

I giggled like a school girl and inwardly cringed at his ability to make me forget myself. His eyes roamed my body and the heat from his gaze told me that he was just itching to touch me.

"So, little lady, may I ask how you came up with this _sexy_ outfit?"

"Oh, this old thing," I looked down coyly. "Well, a little birdie told me that a certain someone couldn't get the fantasy of me dressed up as a librarian out of his head. I told her she was crazy because that certain someone never did mention a thing about it to me." I stepped closer to him so that I could feel the heat coming off of his body. I rested my hand tentatively on the exposed skin of his chest. I started at the electric pulse generated by that small connection. I kept my head level but raised my eyes to his with a 'come hither' look while my lips parted slightly. "And Jake, I'm here to collect on some overdue books."

I don't know what possessed me to say that to him, but before I could over analyze it, he growled and grabbed me firmly by the waist and kissed me passionately. His arousal pressed against my body and all thoughts left my mind. I threw my arms around his neck and returned his kiss with equal vigor. I moaned into his mouth as his hands began their ascent up my sides towards my breasts. I ached for him to touch me. Just when I was about to get my wish, we were interrupted by a chorus of catcalls, whistles, and clapping. I broke the kiss, still panting and breathless, and hid my head against his chest as he cradled me in his arms chuckling in amusement. The partying and dancing resumed as soon as our public display was over. Our eyes locked and I knew we were not finished; not by a long-shot.

Jacob pulled me into a corner for privacy. "You know Bells," he said as his fingers gently stroked my face. "I've been dreaming about you wearing something like this for a long time."

"So I've heard. Why didn't you ever mention it to me?"

"I don't know," he replied thoughtfully. "I mean, it all started when we first hung out together. There we were, sprawled out on the living room floor doing our homework. Of course, I was already in love with you at that point and you were only just coming back to life. God, you made me actually look forward to doing my school work. I've never done better than that semester."

I smiled warmly as he continued. "Anyway, I remember how you'd lean over and help me with a math problem or something, and your hair would fall across my book."

I was shocked that he remembered those times in such detail. He chuckled at the look on my face. "Don't look so surprised Bells. I told you that you were the only girl I thought about even before I became a wolf. God, you don't know how hard it was just to not reach out and touch your hair, or your skin. Well, you were so smart and I realized that that really turned me on about you. Add that to the fact that you were always so willing to help and that your nose was constantly in a book and, BAM! The librarian fantasy was born."

"That's really sweet Jake. But, I still don't know why you never mentioned it before."

"Well, that was just _one_ fantasy. The biggest, wildest, and most unattainable fantasy," he paused for effect, "was hearing you tell me that you love me and that you chose me. Since that's already come true, the other fantasies just didn't seem that important."

I quickly banished the happy tears that welled in my eyes. I smiled widely and was rewarded with Jacob's brilliant smile in return. I stood on my tip toes, reaching up for his neck as he bent down meeting me halfway for a wonderfully sweet kiss. I sighed deeply when we pulled apart, unable to get the goofy grin off of my face.

The next thing I knew, Quil approached nodding at Jake and smiling shyly at me. We hadn't talked since that horrible day in front of the Cullens' house. Quil was furious with me then, as he had every right to be. I hoped that we could move past it and that he didn't harbor any hard feelings. What Quil did next should have told me that I needn't have worried. I took in his costume and almost fainted in shock. He was the stereotypical Dracula, complete with the dorky cape and plastic fangs. His face was painted a ghostly white and he had fake blood dripping down his chin. I started laughing because apparently Jake wasn't the only one dressing up for irony that Halloween. Quil offered me something to drink in a plastic cup.

"Hey Bella, here's a little peace offering. I just wanted to say that I'm…"

"Quil," I interjected, taking the offered drink. "You don't have to say anything. We're good."

He smiled appreciatively. "So," I asked. "What's in the drink?" I brought the cup up to my nose and inhaled. I detected fruit juice, but not much else. You didn't grow up the daughter of the Chief of Police and not question a drink offered to you at a party. Granted, I trusted Quil not to hurt me, but that didn't mean it wasn't concocted to get me drunk to provide entertainment for the evening.

He smiled devilishly. "You don't want to know."

Quil slapped Jacob on the shoulder and said, "Hey man, you better keep an eye on your lady here. I know how irresistible she finds vampires. I mean, she may want to come home with _me_ tonight. I am the Prince of Darkness after all. All I need to do is use my vampy mojo and she'll be putty in my hands. Not that I would of course, I am spoken for. But, well we know her history."

I had taken a sip of my drink when Quil mentioned how irresistible I found vampires and I nearly spit it out all over my clothes. I found it quite amusing, but Jacob looked like he was ready to pounce. I placed my hand on Jacob's chest to soothe him. "Relax Jake, it's okay. I've developed a tougher skin than that. Besides Quil, what makes you think I'd be susceptible to your charms anyway? Vampires are so last year."

Jacob immediately relaxed and laughed at Quil while holding me close. He whispered in my ear, though we both knew that Quil could still hear him and said, "Yeah, and werewolves are so _hot_ right now." I trembled in his arms, my body instinctively reacting to the double meaning in his words. I thought to myself, not for the first, and assuredly not for the last time that night, _Is this party over yet_?

Quil simply cleared his throat and made an excuse to leave us to it while he mingled with the crowd. I was about to take a sip of my mystery drink when Jacob asked, "Are you sure you want to do that Bells? I think I want you sober for what I have planned for you tonight." He licked his lips and let his gaze travel towards my cleavage. He made me weak-kneed and I clung to his strong arm for support.

"Well," I managed through my labored breaths. "One drink won't hurt." And then I took a large sip and felt a burn travel down my throat leaving a sickeningly sweet taste on my tongue.

Jacob laughed and shook his head. "Famous last words, Bells."

I finished my drink and we then found a place to sit away from the dance floor. Jacob made himself cozy in Sam's recliner while I made myself comfortable on his lap. The party raged on around us, but we could not have cared less. He insisted on speaking in his awful southern accent throughout the night, which was equal parts charming and annoying. I thought that Jacob just might be right about being completely sober for what he had planned and vowed that that would be my one and only drink of the evening.

We talked and joked about nothing in particular, just enjoying our time together. His hands caressed my exposed calf and the contours of my thigh through the tight skirt. I couldn't keep my own hands away from his chiseled chest or grasping his toned arms. It took all of our effort to stay at the party as gracious guests when we wanted nothing more than to tear our clothes off and have our way with each other.

We realized all too soon that we were being terrible guests. I looked around the room for other pack members. I saw Jared dancing with Kim looking completely in love despite the fact that he was wearing tights. Apparently, Kim had suggested that they go as Romeo and Juliet. I pointed them out to Jacob who nearly dropped me on the floor as he doubled over laughing and pointing earning a glare from Jared. _Poor Jared_, I thought. Jacob and the boys would never let him live that one down.

I asked Jacob about the rest of the pack. He told me that Colin and Brady were gone for the weekend with their parents and that Seth and Paul were both patrolling, but that they would be by soon. Embry was missing in action, but Jacob suggested that that might have something to do with the fact that he had a date and he probably wanted some _alone_ time with her before bringing her to the party.

As I watched our friends on the dance floor, Jacob returned his attention to me and began a tender assault on my exposed flesh. He pushed his hat back on his head to give him access to my neck. He nuzzled against me, his lips and tongue teasing and torturing me. I don't know what kind of magic he was working but he managed to coax me onto the dance floor. Of course, it probably had something to do with the after effects of Quil's mystery drink; yet another good reason not to drink at parties. I struggled to ignore the dancers around me and focused solely on My Jacob. I only heard the steady thrumming of our hearts as we moved and swayed to the beat. It wasn't "proper" dancing by any means. You didn't learn that type of thing in ballroom classes. But, Jacob had rhythm and our bodies moved in sync like we had been dancing together for years. He pressed every part of his body firmly against mine, his hands rested at the small of my back, guiding me effortlessly.

My private musings were interrupted by audible gasps from everyone around us followed by a hushed silence. I turned around in Jacob's arms and glanced at the front door where I saw Leah and Jack make quite the entrance. Jacob pressed my back against his chest as he eyed the couple thoughtfully, unlike everyone else who was staring at Leah like a bunch of slack-jawed yokels. Of course, after seeing Leah's costume, or lack thereof, I couldn't really blame them.

Jack was clothed in nothing but a loin cloth, sandals, and a smile. His short black hair was concealed under a brown, shoulder-length, shaggy wig. His body was oiled up slightly, accentuating his toned physique. However, the most noticeable thing about Jack was really the woman on his arm.

Leah was magnificent in all of her goddess glory. She wore a faux-fur tube-top bikini with ugg boots that were also covered in fur; and _nothing_ else. The costume highlighted her firm stomach and her long, shapely legs. The look in Jack's eyes told me, and everyone else in the room for that matter, that Leah was his girl and that his eyes were only for her. Her short hair was slicked back on the sides and the front was curled up in a modern-day bouffant. Her lips were painted red and her skin shimmered in the light. I saw Quil do a spit-take when he saw Leah walk in and then spent the next few minutes apologizing profusely to the poor girl who received an impromptu shower as a result.

We saw Sam and Emily approach them and decided to stay on the dance floor to give them some space. However, we couldn't help but watch the interaction between the two couples as we continued to sway to the music. Emily hugged Leah closely before pulling Jack into a bear hug. She was genuinely happy for her cousin and her smile showed it. It was clear from the look in her eyes that Emily wasn't relieved to be rid of the guilt associated with her for taking Sam away. Rather, she was happy for Leah, for herself, that she found someone who so obviously loved her. Sam was a little more stand-offish which pissed me off. He had the woman of his dreams, but he still harbored feelings for Leah. Of course, I couldn't look at him without seeing my own mistakes reflected back at me. I cringed at the thought. Jacob noticed the tremor go through my body.

"What's wrong?" he asked, squeezing me tighter in his arms.

"Nothing, I'm fine. Come on, I'll introduce you to Jack." I led Jacob away from the dance floor towards Leah. I realized I was coming at just the right time to save Jack from a particularly "manly" handshake from Sam. Jack winced slightly as Sam squeezed his hand, but managed to remain smiling. I moved quickly, dragging Jacob behind me. He whispered in my ear, "You know Bells, you're so eager to see this guy. I'm starting to think you might have a little crush on him. Is it the loin cloth or the long hair that's doing it for you?"

I stared at him in complete disbelief. There was amusement in his tone, but his eyes flashed with a hint of possessiveness. It intrigued me. "Jacob Black, are you jealous?"

He looked towards Leah and Jack then back to me and asked petulantly, "Should I be?"

I pressed him against the nearest wall with all my strength, stumbling over my heels and falling into his chest with a grunt.

"What the hell was that for?" he cried. "You're going to kill yourself and ruin that whole outfit for me." He was clearly shocked by my impulsive gesture, but he soon relaxed as a sexy smirk adorned his face.

"You know Jake, sometimes you're just so…you're just a big…a big…"

"A _big_ what, Bells?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"A big…DUMB!"

He stared at me in complete and utter bewilderment. He could barely contain his amusement when he asked, "A big dumb? I don't even know…"

"Oh shut up! I love you." I pressed the length of my body against his knowing he could feel the heat coming from my aching core. "I only want _you_. So, you're going to go over there and be nice to Jack. The poor guy's like a fox in a wolves' den."

"Oh, so you think he's a fox?"

I growled in frustration and pulled him after me. "You're impossible." He chuckled and took his hand from mine so he could wrap his arm around my waist. At that point, Leah and Jack were talking amongst themselves because Sam and Emily were busy with hosting duties. "Hey guys," I said, placing my hand on Leah's shoulder. Jack turned towards me with a surprised look on his face. "Is that my beautiful Bella?" Before I had a chance to react, Jack swept me in his arms for a bone crushing hug. Though I had been used to the pack being shirtless around me, suddenly I was painfully aware that I was pressed up against a virtual stranger's half naked body and I was a little unnerved by it. Jacob growled emitting a low rumble from his chest. Leah placed a restraining hand on his arm.

"For Christ's sake, lighten up Jake," she complained.

Jack set me back down and eyed Jake cautiously. He whispered to me conspiratorially, "So, this is the big brutish boyfriend I was afraid of, huh? You must be a pretty great girl to have so many people willing to keep you safe."

I blushed. "Nah, I'm just really lucky." I saw a slow fire burning in Jacob's eyes and moved to douse the flames. "Jack, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend Jake. Jake, this is the infamous Jack."

Jacob smiled and extended his hand toward Jack and said, "It's _Jacob_." I rolled my eyes at Jacob's obvious display of attitude. Jack winced at the pressure exerted on his hand. He pulled away from Jacob's grip and said, "Wow, what is it with you Quileute boys? You're all huge and seriously strong. Is there something in the water I don't know about?" He laughed good-naturedly and I noticed that Leah was subtly trying to ignore Jack's observation by focusing intently on the goings on of the dance floor.

"Uh, Jack," I said. "If you'll excuse us for a minute, I need to speak with Leah. I'll bring her right back."

"Sure, okay," he smiled. I grabbed Leah's hand and pulled her after me. I turned back to see Jacob staring at me in shock because I was leaving him with Jack. I couldn't help but grin back at him and was rewarded with a steely glare and narrowed eyes. Jacob was not a happy camper, but I knew he'd get over it. Jacob was a wonderful guy. If he would put aside his pre-conceived notions, I knew he would like Jack. I had only met him the one time and was reminded of Jacob immediately because of his friendly nature. Plus, if Jack could tame the beast that was Leah, he deserved at least a little respect. I mouthed the words, _Be nice_, and left them to it. Leah followed me to the other side of the room so that we could talk in privacy.

"So, you're a cave woman, huh?"

She snorted. "Oh please. He Tarzan, me Jane! It was his idea."

"Oh," I giggled. "Well, you guys make a great couple."

"Thanks, I think so too."

"Hmm, I guess it just begs the question, why the hell haven't you told him about the wolves?"

She sighed heavily. "I wanted to. Hell, I tried a hundred times. But…I can't."

"You mean you won't."

"I mean…it's both."

"Then tell me this, why wouldn't you _want_ to tell him?"

"Bella, just because you're the most understanding person in the world doesn't mean everyone else is. I've just spent the best three weeks of my life with this smart, caring, gorgeous, wonderful guy. What am I supposed to tell him? 'Oh, by the way, I morph into a giant harry wolf designed for the sole purpose of killing vampires, pass the bread.' I'm scared he'll bolt. Telling him that means telling him that I'm a genetic dead end and it's way too early to have that discussion. I just don't know if I can handle that right now."

I nodded sympathetically. I knew full well the pain Leah had been forced to live with. But, I couldn't deny my gut feeling that she and Jack were perfect for each other and I didn't want her to ruin a good thing. I understood how tentative her claim to him would feel with their relationship being so new and with such a big secret hanging over her head. On the other hand, I also knew from personal experience how lies and half-truths could undermine completely any foundations of love and trust.

"Okay," I conceded. "So that's why you wouldn't _want_ to tell him. But why _couldn't_ you tell him if you wanted to? What's really stopping you?"

"Look, when I first phased, Sam told us we couldn't tell anyone outside of the tribe unless they were our imprint. It's tribal law."

"Okay," I huffed. "And since when do you listen to Sam?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the wall dejectedly. "It was a direct order from my Alpha, Bella. My hands are tied."

"Well, if memory serves me correctly, Sam isn't your Alpha anymore."

Leah's eyes brightened as the realization washed over her. She had a renewed sense of hope.

"Tell him, Leah," I urged gently. "He cares about you. Give him a chance to prove to you just how much."

Leah leaned down and hugged me whispering, 'thank you" before walking back towards Jack and Jacob. They didn't even notice us as they were engrossed in a pretty animated conversation. They stopped abruptly when Leah came behind Jack and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her chin on his shoulder.

"So, were you two playing nice?" She asked.

Jack smiled and turned around so that he was now facing her and held her in his arms. He kissed her chastely and replied, "Yeah, we went outside and had a good old fashioned pissing contest. It was a tie, by the way."

"Um, Jack, do you think we can leave? I really want to talk to you about something."

He looked at her confused. "Are you sure?" he asked. "I mean, we just got here. I thought you were excited about the party and hanging out with your friends. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, it's just, it's really important that I talk to you alone. Besides, this party's lame. It's filled with a bunch of teenagers."

"Hey!" Jacob complained. Leah simply rolled her eyes and ignored him. We said our good-byes and they started to walk away. Before they got far, Jacob grabbed Leah's arm and said, "I like him."

She glared at him. "Yeah, like I needed your approval." Then she smiled and said, "Thanks, anyway."

"No," he said, eyeing my outfit lecherously. "Thank _you_."

Leah hit Jacob on the arm making him wince. "God you're a pig Jake."

Jake simply winked and tipped his hat in her direction before throwing his arm over my shoulder. He led me towards the other side of the room where Quil was having a heated argument with a tall guy wearing a long leather duster coat, a hat, and a crossbow slung across his shoulders. It was only once we got closer that I noticed that the guy in question was Embry. I had been so invested in my conversation with Leah that I hadn't noticed him sneak in.

Quil yelled, "Dude, how could you dress like that? You're ruining my mojo here."

"What mojo," Embry quipped. "You're _spoken for_, remember? Isn't that all you ever talk about? Besides, I didn't know you were dressing up as Dracula. I thought up my costume months ago."

"Oh please Embry," Quil replied. "We didn't even know about this party until this week."

"So what? I was being proactive."

My curiosity was piqued. I had to find out what was really going on. They hadn't seen us approach so I cleared my throat. They both turned to us, sheepish looks on their faces.

"Okay guys," I giggled. "What's with the arguing? And Embry, though I like the detail of your costume, I have no clue who you're supposed to be."

"Well…" Embry began, but was immediately interrupted by an annoyed Quil.

"He's freaking Van Helsing, Dracula's arch nemesis! He's been trying to stake me ever since he got here to impress the ladies all because his date was a bust. He's making a mockery of my costume."

Jacob and I stared at each other, our mouths agape in identical expressions of pure shock.

"I'm more of the Hugh Jackman version, not the Anthony Hopkins version." Embry spoke matter-of-factly. "That guy's older than dirt."

Jake and I busted up laughing. "Thanks for that clarification Embry," I managed.

Embry rolled his eyes at us and continued his conversation with Quil. "If you were a _real_ friend you'd take a stake to the heart. What kind of wingman are you anyway?"

Before Quil could answer, Paul walked up to the four of us and sneered. He wasn't wearing a costume, but he was clearly dressed like a man on the prowl. He eyed me up and down making me uncomfortable enough that Jacob wrapped an arm around my waist protectively.

"Nice costumes guys. But, you two," he said, turning his attention to Quil and Embry. "Well, it's nice to see you two lovebirds collaborated together on your costumes. How cute."

Paul walked away without another word. He threw his arm over the first pretty girl he saw like he was some kind of suave Don Juan. He led the girl across the room and suddenly Quil, Embry, and Jacob couldn't contain their laughter.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

Jacob pointed towards Paul's departing form. "See that girl he's with?"

"Yeah, the angel?" She wore a short white dress accessorized by a pair of white wings strapped to her back and a halo on her head.

"Well, she's far from _angelic_," Quil mumbled. Jacob glared at him and Quil shut up immediately.

Jacob continued, ignoring Quil's interruption. "Anyway, her name is Raven. She was a senior at my school. What that jackass Paul doesn't realize is that he's already…they already…" He paused not knowing exactly how to finish. I nodded my head as I realized what he was getting at. Paul had slept with that poor girl and he didn't even remember her. "So," Jacob added. "Of course he never called her _after_ and…"

But Jacob's explanation was cut off by a loud commotion coming from the direction of where Paul had led Raven. Paul stood in the middle of the room, a drink dripping from his face. Raven slapped him across the face and screamed, "You fucking asshole!" She then turned and left the party with her friends.

Paul wiped his face and shook it off, as if nothing had happened. That was until Sam threw a towel and cleanser at him and stood over him until he cleaned the mess on the floor. We all cracked up, happy that Paul got his "just desserts" for the evening.

Jacob reflected on Paul's position, on his hands and knees of Sam's living room, cleaning up the mess he caused. "You know, if anyone needed an imprint, it would be that fool. Maybe at least then the women of La Push would get a breather. He's such a freaking womanizer. At least if he imprinted, the poor girl would have a shot at taming him." Embry and Quil nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I'd just tell the poor girl to get checked for STDs," Embry said.

"Dude," Quil added. I'd hate to be that poor girl's father or brother."

Jacob laughed along with them. "Oh my god, can you imagine being Paul's brother-in-law? I think I'd kill myself."

I elbowed Jacob in the ribs. "Stop being so dramatic." He grinned and we resumed our previous conversation including the pros and cons of Hugh Jackman's versus Anthony Hopkins' portrayal of Van Helsing. It was never a dull moment with the wolves of La Push.

We spent the next few hours just hanging out. It was getting late, though the party showed no signs of dying down. Quil constantly offered me cups filled with his mysterious party punch. He wouldn't take no for an answer so I spent the rest of the night pretending to drink only to pour the drinks out in the sink when he wasn't looking. If he was trying to play wingman for Jacob in an attempt to help him get laid, he needn't have bothered. Jacob needed no help in that department.

Jacob led me back onto the dance floor. The song playing was quick with a great beat. I pressed my body to his as we swayed to the music, once again ignoring everyone else around us. His hands rubbed down from my shoulders to my arms and then up my back.

"Have I told you," he whispered, "how hot you look tonight?" I smiled up at him and saw that his eyes were almost black with lust and longing. "And those glasses…well, I don't think you could look sexier if you tried."

"Really, you don't think I look kind of nerdy?"

"Hell yeah you look like a nerd and I love it. Nerds are so hot right now, didn't you hear?"

"No, I thought it was just werewolves."

He pulled me closer to him, pressing his obvious erection against my hip. "Just so you know, if you decide that you don't want to be a writer anymore and you want to become a librarian full-time, I will fully support that decision." He closed his eyes and leaned in to nuzzle against my neck. I tilted my head back giving him more access as he placed wet, open-mouthed kisses along the base of my neck and up to my jaw.

"Um…I'll…think about it," I replied breathlessly.

I felt his lips curl into a smile against my skin. "Please do," he murmured. The small space we occupied was rife with sexual tension. The whole night had been an exercise in the most wonderful tantalizing torture. If I didn't get to be alone with Jacob soon, I knew I was going to combust. I grabbed him by the neck and pulled his head towards me so that I could whisper in his ear. "Jake, take me home with you."

His eyes met mine and he let out a moan. He didn't say a word. Instead, he grabbed my hand and walked us briskly towards the front door. There was no stopping him. Jacob was a man on a mission and he would not be deterred. We made it to the front door where I quickly retrieved my purse. Emily came up to us apparently confused by our speedy departure. Jacob opened the front door, guiding me outside and said, "Can't talk now, gotta go!"

I craned my neck back and mouthed a silent apology to Emily who stood in her entryway with a mischievous smile on her face and a knowing glint in her eyes. The fierce determination and lust in Jacob's eyes left my physically weak. I tossed him the keys to my car knowing I was in no condition to drive as a result. He helped me into the passenger seat and was starting the engine and peeling out before I finished buckling my seatbelt.

I chuckled at his eagerness. "Well, that was rude, Jake. We could have at least said good-bye and thanked her for the party."

"Look, the little lady said she wanted to come home with me. And the little lady always gets what she wants." He looked at me; his eyes oozed passion and my body craved his touch. Flushed and breathless I replied, "You're right. They'll understand. Drive."

We got back onto the road that led towards his house. It was only about a three mile drive but it seemed like the longest five minutes of my life. My skirt had ridden up my leg when I got in the car and Jacob's warm hand soon found its way to my exposed thigh. The heat from his touch was electric.

We pulled up into Jake's gravel driveway and as always happened when I saw the modest red house and smelled the sea air, I felt like I was home. We got out of the car and stared at each other from across the roof and goose bumps erupted all over my body. The electricity in the air was a tangible entity. Jacob walked towards the house holding his hand out for me to follow. I followed him on unsteady legs. He must have seen the anxiety on my face and in an attempt to lighten the mood said, "Giddy up, Bells!"

He crouched low so that I could jump up onto his back. What was the saying, 'Forget the horse, ride a cowboy?' Of course, I think it meant riding in a whole other way…not that that wouldn't be feasible that night. I gave into my playful side and jumped towards his back only to bounce right off of him and fall to the ground. I'd forgotten that I was wearing a tight fitting pencil skirt that didn't exactly allow maneuverability for my legs. Luckily, Jacob was fast and caught me before my head hit the ground.

"Are you alright?" he asked, cradling me in his arms.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm more embarrassed than anything."

"What the hell did you do that for?" He asked incredulously.

"Well I didn't do it on purpose! My skirt wouldn't let me move."

"I can think of a way to rid you of that little problem young lady."

"I'm sure you can." I eyed him seductively, biting my lower lip. "Lead the way."

He carried me onto the porch and practically kicked down the front door in his excitement. Once inside, he kicked the door closed again with the heel of his boot. I looked into his eyes and was in awe by the love he had for me. I forgot why I was nervous in the first place. Jacob was my sun. Being with him was as easy as breathing. With that in mind, I pulled him down into a passionate kiss and let my tongue snake around his smooth lips. He moaned against my heated tongue. I thought he would head directly towards his bedroom, but he surprised me when he sat down at the kitchen table, pulling me into his lap. I looked at him questioningly. He simply shrugged and with a voice peppered with sex asked, "So, what was that about some overdue books, Ms. Swan?"

I turned bright red not knowing how to respond. Seated on his lap, I was well aware of his growing arousal. Was he trying to role-play with me? We'd never done anything like that before and I felt clumsy and nervous about how to proceed.

"Well, yeah…uh…um," I stuttered.

His hands immediately caressed my face and he kissed me deeply, ostensibly cutting off anything else I might have added. "Mmm, why don't you be Bella, and I'll just be Jake." He took his cowboy hat off and placed it on the table. "How about we just be us?"

I smiled widely at him and replied, "That sounds nice. But, Jake," I reached for the hat and placed it back on his head. "Keep your hat on."

He growled and kissed me feverishly, his hands roaming my body desperate to touch what had been denied him for so long. My hands strayed over his strong arms and moved up to the soft skin of his firm chest. I rested my hands there and trembled at the powerful beating of his heart.

I pushed his vest off his shoulders, down to the ground. I continued our passionate kisses while I slowly undid his shirt buttons and pulled his shirt off to reveal his beautifully sculpted torso. I leaned in and kissed his neck, teasing his collarbone with soft flicks of my tongue all while he squeezed my ass tightly in his hands, grinding me against his member.

Jacob picked me up and set me on the table in front of him. He stood up from his chair and nuzzled against my neck with his nose, inhaling my scent and releasing a gratified groan. He reached into my hair and gently removed the clips and bindings that held it up. My hair tumbled down freely around my shoulders. He ran his fingers through it sending electric sparks throughout my scalp and brought the strands up to his nose. We both sighed contentedly. I reached for my glasses but he quickly held my wrists firmly in his large hands and said, "No, those stay on."

His voice was so authoritative and laced with desire that I had no choice but to obey. He slowly moved to my sweater, his hands nimbly unbuttoning me, exposing the swells of my breasts encased in flimsy, blood-red lace. Thanks to Leah, I knew that part of the whole _librarian_ fantasy was the perceived innocence conveyed through modest clothing with the sex kitten hiding close under the surface. I was rewarded with a sexy groan from Jacob that bordered on a tortured whimper. His eyes raked my flesh as his hands cupped, squeezed, and massaged my breasts, teasing my aching nipples threw the thin lace.

From his standing position, I had better access to the rest of his body. My hands trailed down the smooth skin of his chest and moved over every inch of his rippled abdomen until they reached his oversized belt buckle nestled against the dark patch of hair that led to the source of his arousal. _Happy trail, indeed_, I thought. His hands moved to my hips allowing me room to undo his buckle, jeans, and the chaps that clung to his thighs so enticingly. Once the chaps fell to the floor, he pulled away to kick off his boots and take off his socks. It never ceased to amaze me just how beautiful he could look simply in a pair of jeans.

Between hot, wet kisses, I managed to tug his jeans down off of his hips. I used the pointed toe of my shoe to nudge the pants all the way down to the floor. He stepped out of them and stood before me, naked and beautiful. A fire burned in my loins as I sat on the table staring at his hard member. I licked my lips in anticipation just aching to facilitate his release with my mouth. I was about to jump off the table and throw myself on my knees in front of him to do just that when he stopped me.

"I like where your mind is going Bells, but that can wait. We've got all night and I want to be inside you before I explode. I need you so bad. I've missed you so much."

"Jake, I've missed you too. I don't want to go another minute without you touching me. I want you so badly it actually hurts."

"Well, we can't have that can we?"

He sat back down in the chair looking up at me. His erection stood tall and proud, rising up from his lap. He grabbed my right leg which was dangling down from the table and held my foot in his hands. He eased the shoe off my foot and then moved to the other one. Once my feet were bare he caressed them in his hands as his lips alternated between my legs and he kissed me on the ankles, my calves; all the way up until he reached the hem of my skirt. His movements were painfully slow when I just wanted him to take me. My sex ached and dripped for his hard arousal to ravage me. He lowered his head between my legs and buried his nose in the crease behind my knee and inhaled deeply.

He erupted out of his chair spreading my legs so that they strained against the tight fabric. He stepped between my thighs and pressed into me so that I was leaning back on the table, propped up on my elbows.

"_What did you do_?" His tone was seductive, but his words confused me. Did I do something wrong? I tried to speak but his hands, which had previously been gripping my outer thighs, began a slow and steady ascent up my inner thighs to the apex of my throbbing heat. It was then that I understood Jake's sudden mood change. He had discovered the wardrobe adjustment I made before leaving my house. I left my panties in my room thinking that I'd have ample opportunity to tease or torment Jacob throughout the party. Though that hadn't panned out the way I had planned, it was clear that my lack of panties was going to get me exactly what I wanted; Jake inside me, fast and hard.

His fingers slid up my wet folds and I moaned, throwing my head back in ecstasy. His lips devoured my neck and he whispered in my ear, his voice strained and breathy.

"No panties, Bells? My shy, sweet, innocent Bella really is a naughty girl underneath."

I was on the verge of my own climax and I had barely been touched. He licked me from the base of my neck up to my jaw and gently sucked and nipped at my earlobe. I was panting with need as he pushed his fingers into my entrance.

"Oh God Bells…so hot…so tight…so wet for me."

I sought his lips with my own and kissed him like I wanted to eat him alive.

"Jake, please…I can't wait any longer."

He removed his fingers making me groan at the loss of his touch. He then roughly pushed my skirt up past my hips and drove his hard member into my heat with one swift motion. I cried out at the sensation, unable to contain the pleasure I felt at being joined so intimately with him again. He ground against me then held his body still and rested his forehead against mine. His arms held me tightly to him. I felt every muscle, every sinew of his being touching me. Our eyes locked and I wanted to cry from the love and devotion reflected back at me.

"I love you Bells," he whispered. "Please don't ever leave me."

He pulled out and thrust back into me, building a steady rhythm. "I love you Jake…oh God…never…I'll …never leave you." I couldn't formulate coherent sentences as he pounded into me again and again. The table creaked underneath the strain of our lovemaking.

Jacob guided me down so that my back was spread out before him across the table. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he drove deeper and deeper into my core. His hands caressed and squeezed my breasts through my bra. I was dying to feel his hands and his tongue on my bare skin. He seemed to read my mind and reached behind my back and deftly unhooked my bra, pulling the straps down my arms, never breaking rhythm. His hot tongue swirled around the swell of my breasts and he bit and pulled on my aching nipples with his teeth. The only clothing that remained between the two of us was my skirt, which was hiked up around my waist, and his cowboy hat.

His hands were everywhere at once. My skin was tingling and humming with the electricity generated by our desire. I knew he felt it too because his thrusts got harder and faster. I felt the familiar tightening begin at the base of my stomach.

"Oh God Jake! I'm almost there. Don't stop…don't stop."

He grasped my shoulders as he pulled me tighter against his body. Each thrust rubbed up against my bundle of nerves and before I knew it I was seeing stars from a mind-blowing orgasm that immediately triggered Jacob's own release. We cried out and groaned, clinging to one another, kissing sweetly as we came down from our highs.

He leaned over me touching and kissing for several minutes before withdrawing from my body. He helped me off the table and to my feet. He unzipped my skirt and let it fall to the ground. Once I was completely nude, he ducked down, his hands moving to the backs of my thighs as he pulled me back up into his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me to his bedroom. I kissed every inch of his face, slowly and languidly. He laid me down on his bed and from the look in his eyes, I knew we had only completed round one of the night's activities. He took the hat off and placed it atop his bedside lamp. He lowered himself onto my body, resting his head on my breasts. My arms immediately enveloped him and I wondered if my heart would break my chest with how hard and fast it was beating.

My fingers mindlessly roamed over his shaved head as my body began to relax. Normally, I would be pulling and tugging at his long strands, but since they were gone, I'd have to make do. Jacob wrapped his arms under my back and up and over my shoulders, pressing me tightly against him. The room was silent except for the sound of our labored breathing.

"Jake," I asked dreamily. "Is it always going to be like this?"

"Like what?" he mumbled against my breasts.

I sighed deeply, stroking the back of his neck methodically. "Are you always going to _want_ me this much? Am I always going to turn you on?'

He locked eyes with me and said, "How can you even ask me that?"

"I notice you didn't answer the question."

He nuzzled between my breasts, making a pillow for his head. "That's because it's a _stupid_ question."

"Not really," I continued. "What happens when I'm fat with your kids?"

I felt him smile against my skin and knew he had a sexy smirk on his face even if I couldn't see it. "Well, then there'll just be more of you to love. I'm a big guy. I can handle a big girl."

"You won't be grossed out?"

"I love you. You'll always be beautiful to me. Even if you don't think you are."

"Okay, but what about when I'm old and wrinkly? Are you still going to want me then?"

He raised his head and looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Honey, you'll be screaming my name in the nursing home and all the old biddies will be jealous."

A wave of wet heat crashed into my core. I inhaled a ragged breath and gently bit my lower lip. I flushed at the look of desire so evident on his face. "Oh," I smirked playfully. "You're that confident in your abilities?"

His eyes flashed in acceptance of my challenge. I felt his hardness press into my thigh as he hovered over me. He positioned himself at my entrance, his eyes bright with lust. He thrust into my core so quickly, and without warning, that it made my head spin. It felt so good to have him inside me again. It had only been a few minutes but it had felt like an eternity not to be connected to him. I managed a strangled, "Jacob!"

He ground against me, halting his movements, and moaned against my ear. He nuzzled my neck and whispered, "See, I told you I could make you scream."

And I _did_ scream. We had the house to ourselves. We were young, we were in love, and we were together. I embraced the fact that I didn't have to keep quiet. Jacob's thrusts came in a steady rhythm. I cried out every time his member rubbed against my sensitive bundle of nerves. Sweat dripped from his body, making my own slick and hot. My hips pushed up against him as we fought frantically to get closer; closer. He groaned and grunted like an animal, forcing my body to experience pleasure like it never had before. I was breathless, sore, exhausted, and exhilarated. Our mouths and tongues fought endlessly in an attempt to physically consume one another. Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore, his fingers circled my nub, pinching and tugging sending me into oblivion, clinging to him like a life preserver. As my orgasm shattered through me, I felt him reach his own climax and he yelled my name in a primal scream.

He lowered himself back onto me as we both attempted to catch our breath. He supported his weight on his forearms, which were positioned on either side of my head. I kept my eyes closed, simply enjoying the euphoria that had claimed my mind, body, and soul. Parched and breathless, he rolled onto his back, bringing me with him so that my head rested on his chest. There were no words. Our rapidly beating hearts and our labored breathing was testament enough to the wonderful experience we had shared. His arms caressed my back while I placed lazy kisses on his chest. I couldn't get the content smile off of my face. Jacob looked at me, his eyes bright and filled with happiness. I snuggled closer to him and threw my leg over his hips, my calf brushing against the dark, coarse hair that nestled below his waist. I traced circles all over his chest and down his stomach while I hummed. I instantly felt his stiff erection brush against my calf. I looked up at him in utter disbelief.

He smiled bashfully. "What can I say?" he asked. "It's been a while."

And at that point I knew I was in for a _long_ night.

The next morning I awoke to a cold breeze coming in through Jacob's open bedroom window. His body was like an electric blanket for me, but even with his natural warmth, I found it difficult to stay asleep with the cold chill air of fall trickling in. As it was, I was lying face up on his bed, exposed from the waist up; his sheet lay haphazardly across my hips. Jacob snored lightly and peacefully beside me. He was face down on my right with one arm draped over my chest. I smiled when I realized that even in his sleep he had the presence of mind to cup my breast in his warm hand. I carefully extricated myself from his grasp in an effort not to wake him. He looked so beautiful and happy while he slept that I couldn't bear to disturb him. My eyes strayed to his cowboy hat that was situated on his bedside lamp. I reached over and put it on my head, heedless of what could have possibly compelled me to do it.

I snuck out of the room, not bothering to dress, especially since I hadn't brought any clothes with me. I freshened up in the bathroom then headed into the kitchen for a drink of water. I drank down a full glass and noticed Jacob's shirt lying on the floor where we left it the night before. I quickly put it on, inhaling Jacob's piney, woodsy scent. I only buttoned a couple of buttons to keep it from falling off, but left most of my skin, intimately exposed.

I snuck back into his room to see if he was still sleeping. He was still lying face down, stark naked with his perfect ass exposed, tempting me like a siren's call.

"Are you just going to stare at my luscious ass all day, or are you coming back to bed," he mumbled against the pillow.

I started in surprise and he smiled as he turned over, giving me a perfect view of his morning need. "Morning Bells. I like the outfit," he said as his eyes raked my body hungrily.

"Do you want breakfast?" I asked. Though joining him back in bed was the thing I wanted to do most, I knew that I needed a good meal to replenish my energy after the night we had. He seemed to agree because he simply nodded and said, "Sure." He moved to get out of bed presumably to help me, but I waved him off. "Nope, you stay here. I'll bring you breakfast in bed." He smiled and lay back down with his hands behind his head.

I opened the fridge and found a dozen eggs, tomatoes and peppers and figured omelettes would be a good idea. And then a lot of things seemed to happen all at once. I heard a loud thud coming from the bedroom and Jacob yelled, "Fuck, no you don't! Not now!" And then I heard voices coming through the front door. I froze in place seeing as I was too far from the bedroom and I had nowhere to hide.

Jacob came running out of his room wearing nothing but a sheet draped low on his hips. He pulled me behind him, acting as a shield as he approached our early morning visitors. We got to the front door just as Quil and Embry attempted to barge in.

"Get out and get out now!" Jacob snarled.

"Relax man," Embry said laughing. "We just came to see what you guys were up to today. And to tell you what went on at the party after you left. It was crazy." They both craned their necks around Jacob's body in an effort to see exactly what I was hiding. Luckily, Jacob was bigger than them and I was small enough that his body shielded me effortlessly. Unfortunately, Embry caught a glimpse of what I was wearing on my head. "Oh, by the way, nice hat Bella."

I blushed furiously and immediately threw the hat off of my head and shrunk back behind Jacob's body. Quil and Embry burst into laughter. But, Jake was not amused. He blocked them from taking a step further into the house.

"I don't know how many times I've told you jackasses to stay away when I'm with Bella. Now get OUT!"

"Alright, alright, geez, relax," Embry said, his arms held up in surrender.

"Yeah, it's not our fault you let your girlfriend do the walk of shame," Quil added.

Jacob simply pointed to the door and without another word they walked out the door and left us alone.

"Bells, I'm so…," he began. But, I held my hand up to stop him. "Nope, no apologies. I love those guys. They're annoying as hell, but if I don't toughen up now, I'll never get used to the whole Pack mind."

He gave me a brilliant smile and wrapped his free arm around my waist.

"You know, you look so damn sexy in my clothes. But, you look even better out of them. Come to bed."

"What about breakfast?" I asked.

"We'll have lunch instead."

He led me by the hand as we walked backwards towards his bedroom, undressing me with his eyes.

"Bells, do you think you could wear the glasses again?" He asked shyly. I grinned up at him and replied, "Okay, but only if you wear the cowboy hat."

He ran and picked up the discarded hat, dropping the sheet along the way. He placed the hat back on his head and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively saying, "Yes Ma'am," with a perfect southern twang.

**A/N: So, I hope the party was a success. Let me know what you think and please review. Thanks.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do NOT!**

**A/N: I know…it's been too long. Sorry about that. As usual, I'd like to thank everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. I'd especially like to thank my anonymous reviewers: Amy, Rachel, Helen, Kandy_Kane, Paola, Jacob-fan, Bride-to-be, V, Angie, frosty1974, Penny, and J. Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. I was also recently nominated for 4 Wolfpack Awards. So, thank you to whoever nominated me. I really appreciate it. And of course, I have to thank my beta Christine for helping me brainstorm. **

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN **

Halloween had never been all that important to me. I had always been a loner, so I wasn't invited to many costume parties in general. And, the few times I was invited, I always felt too mature and "above it all" to partake in the festivities. But, after the night Jacob and I had shared, Halloween had sealed its place as my favorite holiday.

The morning after proved to be just as wonderful, except of course for Quil and Embry's brief intrusion. I loved those guys, and they meant well for the most part. But, they always managed to find me in the most embarrassingly inappropriate situations. I decided that we should put bells on them. Maybe then we'd get an early warning for whenever they decided to make their presence known. Hmm, it wasn't a bad idea. And, Jacob _was_ their Alpha. Maybe I could convince him to make it happen. I smiled at the thought of my diabolical plan coming to fruition. It was definitely tempting.

Once Jacob got rid of them, we spent the rest of the morning in his bedroom, reenacting the _sex-capades_ from the night before. We finally decided to take a breather around noon to eat lunch. Since we had skipped breakfast, we found ourselves absolutely famished. Jacob threw on a pair of shorts and tossed me one of his t-shirts to wear. I made us a quick lunch of burgers and a fruit salad. Jacob suggested that we eat in his bedroom. He laid out a blanket over his sheets and made us a make-shift picnic. I was instantly nostalgic for our road trip home from Jacksonville, when we spent most of our meals in the same fashion in various hotel rooms. We ate and laughed, talking freely about our hopes and dreams. I was reminded, yet again, that Jacob was more than a _lover_. He was my best friend; the person who could make me laugh, and the person who filled my life with so much joy, despite all the hazards I faced. It was a wonderful feeling, knowing that everyday I was able to rediscover exactly why I loved him.

After we finished eating, Jacob decided to take a quick shower. I climbed off of the bed and took our dirty dishes into the kitchen. When I got back to the bedroom, I took off Jacob's shirt and tossed it on the floor. I crawled between the sheets and laid down waiting for his return. My thoughts wandered to all the possible ways we could occupy our time before dinner, and my body flushed at the many prospects. So far, we had been insatiable. In our defense, it had been over a month since we had been together. And, it was a rare opportunity to have the house to ourselves for an entire weekend. We both wanted to take full advantage of the time alone we still had together.

As I lay in bed, waiting for Jacob to come out of the shower, I found myself yawning. My eyelids grew heavy and it was increasingly difficult to stay awake. I slowly slipped into unconsciousness and I hoped that Jacob wouldn't be disappointed.

I awoke hours later to the image of the sun slowly making its way down past the horizon. I realized that I was wrapped in Jacob's arms. The afternoon was giving way to the evening and I was a happy young woman. Clearly, we needed the rest. I was pleased to find Jacob still sound asleep with his head resting on my breasts, his arm flung across my hips, and his legs tangled with mine in a post-coital coma. Even in his sleep he made me feel warm, safe, and loved. Not to mention the fact that I felt unquestionably, _his_.

I sighed, moving my hands to his head, cradling him against me. I gently traced the fuzz of soft hair growing from his scalp, letting my mind wander back to the wonderful events of the past day. After everything Jacob and I had been through, reconnecting over the past week, made last night _the_ most wonderful intimate experience we'd ever shared. I was more confident than ever that our love for each other could survive anything; even ourselves.

A couple of weeks ago I wasn't sure if I'd ever find myself in this position again, safe in Jacob's arms. At the time, my main concern was whether or not Jacob would be able to forgive me for hurting him like I had. Of course, there was still the matter of the Volturi to consider. Jacob insisted that he could protect me and I believed him wholeheartedly. I had total and complete faith in him and in the packs' ability to protect me. Knowing that they would work with the Cullens left me feeling more at ease than I had in a long time. So, I decided to banish all thoughts of anything and anyone, at least for the remainder of the weekend. Jacob deserved my undivided attention. It was the least I could do considering how loyal and devoted he had been to me throughout our relationship.

I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms gently around Jacob's shoulders. I held him close to me, waiting for him to wake up. I didn't have to wait long because as soon as I pressed him to me, he let out a loud moan. I giggled to myself thinking he must be having a great dream. I took solace in the fact that I wasn't the only one who remained an open book even while asleep. The lighthearted mood was soon replaced with one of concern when Jacob's moans turned panicked. His fingers pressed in against my hips, making me grimace in pain.

Jacob cried out, "No, no, Bells. Please don't leave me…"

Jacob had never been one to talk in his sleep before. That was a privilege I thought I alone enjoyed. I nudged him gently, hoping to wake him and to ease his uncomfortable grip on my body.

"Jake," I whispered softly in his ear. "I'm right here. Wake up."

His body jerked and he rolled off of me onto his back moaning my name. I lay on my side next to him and caressed his cheek, coaxing him awake. He awoke with a start a moment later and sat up in the bed. His body was streaked with a thin layer of sweat and his eyes were wide with confusion and fear. I sat up next to him and placed my hand on his back in an effort to comfort him. He jumped at my touch and looked at me with frantic eyes. He looked me up and down reminding me that we were both naked. He lunged at me, ostensibly pinning me beneath his heated body. He cupped my face in his large hands and kissed me fiercely. He let up only when I was in danger of passing out from the lack of oxygen. He pulled away, my face still clutched in his hands. He looked at me as though I was the missing piece of his soul, his eyes filling with endless love and a sense of relief that I didn't quite understand.

"Um, not that I'm complaining, but what's gotten into you?"

He groaned sheepishly and lowered his forehead onto mine. "Oh God, Bells. I just had the craziest dream, nightmare really, and when I woke up and saw you were still here, I just got a little over-excited I guess."

I reached up and gently caressed his chin. "Well, tell me about it."

"No," he shook his head. "It's stupid. You'll think I'm crazy."

"Speaking as someone who's had her fair share of crazy dreams, I don't think you could surprise me. Jake, you can tell me anything. Come on." I opened my eyes wide and pleading, hoping my pouting lips would convince him.

He sighed and rolled onto his back. "Fine, alright I'll tell you. But, you don't play fair Bells."

"I know, that's why I always win," I replied with laughter in my voice.

"Alright, well I dreamt you were getting married. Only, I wasn't the groom. You were marrying Edward."

He looked at me and even though it was just a dream, I could see the pain and hurt in his eyes. To him, that had come very close to being his nightmarish reality. I held his hand and nodded for him to continue.

"Anyway, at first, I thought it was our wedding. You looked so beautiful. You were the most beautiful bride I had ever seen. But then Edward was standing at the end of the aisle. The wedding was at this beautiful church, though I guess now that I think about it, why would I have dreamed that? I mean, I don't think the _undead_ are all that big on holy places." I arched my eyebrow at him signaling that he was getting off track.

"So, I walked up to you, ready to take you down the aisle, but then you just turned to me and said that you loved _him_ more and then walked right into his arms. And I was left outside in this beautiful garden, desperate and on my knees begging you to come back. I'm pretty sure I must have phased then, because I remember Sam and maybe Quil holding me back, while I howled like a crazy person. And here's where it gets weird. Some time must have passed, because the next thing I know I'm standing in the _lee_-I mean, Edward's house, and you're…pregnant…with _his_ kid!"

I wanted to laugh so badly, but I quickly reined it in when I saw how serious Jacob looked. He didn't seem to notice my momentary lapse because he continued his story without faltering. "It was so crazy. It was like, one minute you married the guy, and the next, you came back from your honeymoon _pregnant_. And I don't mean _just_ pregnant. I mean, huge stomach, swollen ankles, ready to pop kind of pregnant. Anyway, when I saw you, it was like your baby was a monster that was sucking the life out of you. You looked like you were dying, but you were all happy and giddy that you were pregnant with Edward's demon spawn, not caring that it was killing you. Oh, and did I mention that you were drinking blood like it was a chocolate milkshake just to feed your spawn?"

He shivered perceptively at the thought. I frowned when I thought of drinking blood willingly. I guess I never thought about that aspect of being a vampire before, even when I wanted that life. Of course, at that point, drinking blood would have been a means for survival. But, being alive and having to drink blood to feed my baby? That was just unfathomable. It was yet another example of how naïve and foolish I was to so quickly want to throw my humanity away. I never truly considered _all_ the implications of _choosing_ the life of a vampire.

"The worst part was when you were about to have the baby. Blood started pouring out of your mouth and your bones were breaking from the inside out." He shuddered. "It was terrible Bells. It was just a dream, but I swear I could hear the sound of the bones breaking. I could hear your body being torn apart. And I was helpless to stop it. After every promise I ever made to you, I couldn't protect you. Not from that. The baby was literally tearing and breaking its way out of you. And all you did was plead with _me _to help you save your baby. All of a sudden you were in a hospital room, only it looked like it was probably just a room in someone's house, and Edward was…" He stopped, looking as though he couldn't finish.

"Jake, it's okay. Go on, please," I urged him gently.

"Okay, well here's where the shit gets _really_ weird. So, you're naked on this table with me holding your hand while Edward…cuts the baby out of your stomach with…with his _teeth_. Blood's spilling out of his mouth and down his chin as he tosses the baby to me and tells me, 'Here's your consolation prize, mutt.' And then, he bites you. The next thing I know, you're all better, only…well you've got red eyes. You're a vampire. And then you and Edward run off together leaving me with the demon baby. Oh, and did I mention that I _imprint_ on your daughter? I mean, how sick is that?"

When Jacob finished describing his dream, I found myself staring at him for several minutes, completely dumbstruck. He eyed me worriedly. "Okay," I said tentatively. "So, in your dream, I marry Edward. Then he, a vampire, _impregnates_ me? And, I have a what, some kind of vampire hybrid baby who becomes your imprint?"

"Yep," he replied. "That about sums it up."

I couldn't hold it back any longer. I doubled over laughing and pulled the sheet up over my head to hide from Jacob's confused expression. I laughed harder than I had laughed in a long time. Tears ran unabated down my cheeks as I rolled from side to side on the bed. Jacob pulled the sheet away from my face and I broke into another peal of laughter at the ridiculous look on his face.

"Bells, what's so funny?" He asked. His brow furrowed in agitation.

"Jake, oh my God. What isn't funny about that dream? That's probably the stupidest thing I've ever heard." I was panting and breathless from laughing so hard. I was on the verge of hyperventilating.

He frowned and I could tell that he wished he hadn't shared with me. I grabbed his arm and forced him to look at me. "Jake, I know that the dream bothered you. But, honestly, in the clear light of day, you have to see how ridiculous it was? I mean, I get the whole me marrying Edward thing. For a while, that was a real possibility. It makes sense that you would have nightmares about that. But, a vampire baby, Edward performing some kind of macabre vampiric cesarean section, and you imprinting on my daughter? Aside from that being just…well _gross_ doesn't seem to cover it, it's just plain crazy! I mean, talk about a twisted imagination."

I started laughing again, because he just sat there staring at me. I was laughing so hard I thought I would lose control of my bladder. A grin slowly formed on Jacob's face and he chuckled. Soon he was laughing along with me. He then tickled me eliciting more laughter and pleas for mercy. I flung my hands out in an effort to get away from his torturous fingers when he grabbed my hands and forcefully pinned my arms down onto my pillow. My laughter abruptly died in my throat when I saw the intense look of lust and longing in Jacob's eyes.

Jacob positioned himself above me, his burning skin sliding smoothly along mine. "You know, that wasn't very nice of you Bella. I tell you all my subconscious fears, and you just laugh at them? That's just not going to work for me."

His brow was furrowed, and his face was stern. My heart started beating erratically for fear that I had ruined our weekend together by being so blasé about his feelings. I opened my mouth, an apology at the tip of my tongue, when I paused and looked into his eyes. His eyes were full of love and mischief. He was playing with me, and I had fallen hook, line, and sinker.

He released my hands and got off the bed. He stood next to it, his erection stood long and proud. He pursed his lips and beckoned to me with his index finger. I didn't know what had gotten into him, but I couldn't deny that I liked this commanding Jacob. He was very sexy. I sat up and crawled towards him on the bed. When my face was level with his large member, I sat up on my knees in front of him, waiting for his next move.

Jacob didn't say anything. Instead, he simply held his hand up and twirled his finger around, directing me to do the same. My face and chest were flushed and crimson, but I obliged him and turned around on the bed. I was rewarded with a firm smack to my rear. I gasped in surprise as I turned to look over my shoulder and saw that Jacob's eyes were still trained on my butt. He licked his lips seductively before focusing directly on my eyes.

"Bella, move up on the bed and hold on to the headboard," he demanded huskily.

My eyes popped out of my head like a cartoon character. But, I did what he told me to do, because I didn't think I had the ability at that point to argue with him, even if I _wanted_ to. I crawled back towards the head of the bed, giving him a full view of my exposed backside. I raised myself up on my knees then placed my hands on his wooden headboard and turned back to him waiting to see what he had planned for me next. I couldn't help but bite my lower lip in anticipation. My breathing was slow and deep.

Jacob twirled his finger again, which I took as a sign to turn my head back towards the wall. The moment I did, I felt the bed sink beneath me as his weight was distributed across the mattress. I felt the heat of his skin a second before I felt him slide in behind me, pressing his chest to my back. I felt his hardness rub against my rear and he moaned in my ear. He placed his hands on my shoulders. Though his skin was hot, his touch sent a tantalizing chill down my spine. His hands moved down my arms, past my hips and thighs before coming back up my body. My skin erupted in goose bumps.

Jacob gently pulled my hair back off of my neck and placed it across my right shoulder. He nibbled my neck gently, taking full advantage of the newly exposed flesh. His tongue pressed flat against my skin one moment, and the next, his teeth bit down in a mixture of pleasure and pain. His left arm came around my body, under my left arm, and he caressed my breasts, cupping them together in his one large hand. His right hand started at my right knee before he slowly dragged it up my leg and across my hip, working its way to the juncture between my legs. I moaned when his hand grazed the very edge of my mound without offering any form of release for my craving.

My body undulated, arching uncontrollably against his, encouraging him to explore me completely. I placed my right hand on top of his at my center, in an attempt to guide him closer towards my core. He growled in my ear and pulled his hand away from mine entirely. He spanked me firmly, again, and said in no uncertain terms, "Keep your hands on the headboard Bella." My hand shot back to the headboard quicker than I thought possible and he chuckled, blowing his warm breath onto my neck. Jacob's enjoyment of the situation only heightened my excitement. The scent of my arousal permeated the closed room. Jacob inhaled deeply and a guttural moan escaped his lips.

When he was sure that my hands would stay firmly in place, he moved his right hand back to my core and slid his fingers up and down my already slick folds. We both moaned when he pushed his fingers into my entrance. I sank down onto his hand, feeling his hardness press firmly against my backside. He nuzzled my neck and bit and sucked on my left earlobe. I turned my head slightly over my shoulder, searching for his mouth. I was rewarded with his soft, warm lips crashing down on mine. His fingers worked me as I rose and fell against his body while his lips devoured mine. He kneaded and squeezed my breasts to the same primal rhythm.

His fingers moved in and out of me bringing me to the brink of a climax that remained just out of reach. I moaned and groaned, moving my body against his hand, trying to create the friction I needed. I couldn't suppress the cry of frustration that escaped my lips. He was skilled with his hands, but he was holding out on me. My climax was literally within his grasp and he was drawing it out torturously.

Jacob's left hand released my aching breasts with a final pinch to my nipples before it moved down my stomach towards my apex. I was elated because it appeared that he was done toying with me. He gently circled my bundle of nerves and I cried out in satisfaction, knowing that my release would not be far away. He deftly worked my nub while his other fingers continued their penetration of my core. Before I knew it, both of his hands were playing me simultaneously as he bit down hard on my shoulder. A moment later I cried out in ecstasy as white stars burst behind my eyes and I gripped the headboard for dear life. My body continued gyrating slowly against Jacob's body as I rode out the last waves of my release. He pulled my head back gently by my hair, directing my lips to his.

He kissed me fiercely and passionately as he positioned his member at my entrance from behind. He pushed into me with one hard thrust and I nearly exploded again merely from the sensation of his body filling mine. He moaned and groaned into my ear, whispering words of love and lust. His left hand closed over mine as I held onto the headboard, while his right arm wrapped around my waist, moving me to the rhythm of his hips.

"Bells, this feels so good," he cried out.

I couldn't respond because I was so taken aback by the feelings he produced in my body. I felt him deeper than I ever had before and he was hitting nerve endings I didn't know existed. I couldn't keep my hands to myself much longer. Though my left hand was trapped firmly in his grasp, my right hand was free. I moved it behind me and pulled on the back of his neck as I twisted my head back towards his lips. I couldn't get enough of his taste, his smell. I wanted to drown in it. We kissed as my body arched up off of his, still moving together in time with his thrusts. We were panting between kisses, my hand holding him firmly against my body. His pace increased and after several stronger, slower thrusts, we both erupted into cries of ecstasy as we rode out our simultaneous orgasms.

I let go of Jacob's neck and gripped the headboard with my free hand, leaning my head forward and down as our pace slowed. Jacob held me firmly by the hips, as we slowly regained our composure. He kissed me sweetly on the back of my neck and down to the sensitive skin between my shoulder blades. His kisses were light and warm, and oh so tantalizing. We were breathless and sweating, but euphoric. Jacob softened and eased out of my body, his hands exploring every inch of my skin like I was a beautiful sculpture. I found my strength and sat up resting against his shoulder as he kissed me lovingly along my neck and collar bone.

My knees finally got too weak to hold my weight and Jacob helped guide me back down on the bed. I rolled onto my side, watching him as he lay next to me, holding me close.

"Remind me to laugh at your dreams more often," I joked, not knowing what else to say after that experience. Jacob had never shown that side of himself before. A part of me was suddenly shy having made myself so physically vulnerable to him. But, then I was overwhelmed with the love and devotion I saw in his eyes and I was immediately filled with a sense of pride in being able to trust him so completely. He chuckled, his cheeks slightly flushed, and I could tell that he felt the same way I did.

We enjoyed a comfortable silence, resting in each other's arms. I laid my head on his chest while his hands played with my hair. I sighed contentedly, letting the warm glow of our lovemaking wash over me.

"Bells?" He questioned, tentatively.

"Hmm?" I replied, snuggling closer against his body.

"That dream…well, it got me thinking."

I eyed him questioningly. "About what, exactly?" The look in his eyes told me that our conversation was taking a more serious turn. I got up in the bed, clutching the sheet around my body. He quickly sat up next to me and held my cheek in his hand.

"Jake, what is it? What's wrong?"

"Well, though most of the dream was pretty funny, I can't get the fact that you were a vampire out of my mind."

"It was just a dream, Jake." I smiled warmly in an attempt to alleviate his fears. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

"I know that, honey. But, that's not the point. I think we need to seriously talk about what might happen if the Volturi…well, if I couldn't protect you."

I cut him off immediately. "Jake, what are you talking about? I have you, the packs, and the Cullens, all hell-bent on protecting me with your very lives. For once, I'm at a place where I have complete faith that things will all work out. We have a chance now that we never had before. We have strength in numbers; an alliance."

His eyes were clouded with fear. "But, what if we can't protect you? What if we fight and we lose? What if after everything, they still take you from me? What if you had a choice, and they offered to still change you and not kill you?"

"What? No, Jake, we're _not_ talking about this. Where is this coming from? You're always trying to convince me that everything will be alright…you're scaring me. What, do you think it's hopeless?"

"No, Bells, honey I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. The thought of you becoming a vampire haunts my dreams. I just need to know, I have to hear it from your lips. If given the choice between death and becoming a vampire, which would you choose?"

"How can you even ask me that? You know I…"

"Bells," he interrupted, his voice shaking. He blurted out, "I don't know if I could let you die. Now that I have you; now that I know what it's like for you to love me, I don't know if I could live in a world where you don't exist."

His confession was pained and heartfelt. His eyes drifted down towards the bed, filled with shame. I never thought I'd hear those words coming from Jacob's lips. He had basically admitted that he'd rather have me as a vampire, than dead. Knowing that that went against everything he believed in, told me that he was serious. I reached for him and held his face in my hands, not caring that the sheet fell away from my body, leaving me naked. Jacob's eyes met mine and I smiled at him.

"Jake, I need you to listen to me. I don't _ever_ want to be a vampire. The Cullens are wonderful people. They're my family. But, not one of them chose that life. I've seen the darker side. I've seen the Volturi and the heinous acts they commit. I've been hunted by James, Laurent, Victoria, and an army of hungry, mindless newborns. I've seen the bloodlust in their eyes. I know that the Cullens would never allow me to eat from a human, and that I would learn to drink only the blood of animals. But, it would be naïve of me to think that being a newborn would be easy for me. The thought of being consumed by the basest, animalistic needs frightens me."

"We're meant to be together Jacob, always. I look into your eyes everyday and know that we were made for each other. If something happens to me, if I left this world, I'd be happy knowing that some day, our souls would find their way back to each other. But, if I'm changed, if I became a vampire, we'd be separated for an eternity. And, I don't want that. I couldn't bare that existence."

Tears poured from my eyes and my lip trembled. Jacob bit his lower lip in an effort to stem the flood of his own emotions. I kissed him slowly and deeply, reveling in the smoothness of his skin. I pulled back looking into his eyes. "You're strong, Jake. You're the strongest person I've ever known. I know you'd suffer without me, as I would if I lost you. But, at least with death, you'd find solace in the thought that we didn't leave each other by choice. I'm not too clear on God or religion. But, I have faith that there's something left for us when we die; that there's an afterlife. I want to have that chance with you, Jacob. There's no other option for me. I hope you can understand that."

He kissed me passionately in response. His body melded with mine and I could taste the salt of our mingled tears on my lips. Our passion escalated until I heard a loud rumbling erupting from my stomach. We eyed each other and laughed hysterically, our tears soon forgotten. As always, we had come to an understanding and clearly, we were both starving. There was nothing more to say on the subject.

Jacob suggested ordering some pizza while we snuggled on the couch to watch a movie. I took a quick shower to freshen up and threw on one of Jake's long t-shirts, which was long enough to serve as a dress. I also made sure that Jacob got fully dressed to help discourage our more carnal appetites so that we would finally have an uninterrupted meal.

By the time I got out of the shower, the pizza had already arrived and Jacob was browsing through his DVD collection for something to watch. I sat down on the couch right as the phone rang. Jacob got up to answer it while I channel surfed.

"Bells, Leah wants to talk to you."

I jumped up from the couch excitedly. I was so glad that Leah had called, because I had been anxious for her. I wanted to hear how everything had gone with Jack. I took the receiver from Jacob who in turn, gently kissed me on the forehead and went about his own business rummaging for a pre-dinner snack.

"Hey Leah. So, how did it go?"

There was silence on the other end.

"Leah, are you there?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm here," she mumbled. Her voice sounded dead and lifeless. Obviously, something must have happened when they left the party. I sat down at the kitchen table, preparing myself to hear the worst. _I_ was the one who advised Leah to tell Jack the truth. It would be _my_ fault if things fell apart. Jacob had been leaning against the counter eating an apple, until he saw the look in my eyes. He plopped down in the chair next to me so that he could listen in on the conversation. Seeing as how he cared for Leah too, I didn't mind the intrusion.

"Leah," I swallowed hard. "Tell me what happened."

"That's just it," she chuckled darkly. "There's not much to tell. It's over_._"

"Leah, I'm coming over. I'll be there in…oh wait. I don't have any clothes. Damn it. Okay…I'll…"

"What do you mean you don't have any clothes? Did you two perverts already blow through the bag of clothes I packed for you? Gross, I don't even want to know."

"What bag of clothes?"

"Wow, pay attention much? While you were showering last night I packed an overnight bag for you to keep you supplied throughout the weekend. I told you about it when you were getting dressed. You nodded and thanked me, remember? Geez, it's in the trunk of your car."

Jacob quickly left the table and headed outside. He came back into the house with my bag in tow. I smiled appreciatively at him and turned my attention back to Leah.

"Leah, I'll be right there."

"You don't have to Bella. I'm a big girl. I can handle this on my own."

"Well, I'm coming over whether you want me to or not."

"Fine… whatever…," was her only reply before I was met with the dulcet sounds of the dial tone.

I grabbed the bag from Jacob after kissing him sweetly on the lips. I headed into his room to change into some of my own clothes. I set the bag out on his bed and looked through it. Leah had done a great job. She had packed a lot of the sexy lingerie I had picked up in recent months. But, she also included my comfy jeans and a few t-shirts and sweaters to wear. I pulled out a simple bra and panty set and took off Jacob's shirt when I noticed that Jacob had followed me into his room and was standing in his doorway, staring at me.

I took one look at him and grinned. "Jake, don't even think about it. I told Leah I'd be over soon. She really needs a friend right now."

He didn't make a move so I threw on my underwear and jeans and then took off his shirt. Once I put my bra and t-shirt on, Jacob stepped forward into the room, his eyes filled with confusion and some other emotion I couldn't quite place.

"Bells, what was all that about? Why did Leah say that it was over?"

"Well, she finally told Jack about the whole werewolf thing, and I'm assuming the poor guy freaked. That's why I'm going over there now. I want to get the details. Maybe there's something that can be…"

"Yeah, that's what I thought," he replied darkly. "Bells, did you tell Leah that she should let Jack in on our Pack secrets?"

I frowned at his accusatory tone. "No, _actually_ I told Leah that she should trust the guy that she _loves_ enough to accept her for who she is. I told her that she'd never be happy if she kept the truth from him." I crossed my arms over my chest, taking a defensive stance against him. "Why, do you have a problem with that?"

He crossed his own arms over his chest and took a step towards me. If I didn't know him better, I'd say he was trying to use his Alpha stature to intimidate me. But My Jacob knew me better than that. I wasn't going to back down on this one.

"Bells," he began calmly. "Jack isn't part of the tribe, and he certainly isn't Leah's imprint. She shouldn't have told him anything. I mean, we were all forbidden by Sam to say anything. It's to protect the tribe, as well as any innocent bystanders who get sucked into our world."

"Well," I said, trying to keep my temper under control. "I simply reminded her that she had a new Alpha and that the old order no longer applied."

Jacob's calm demeanor crumbled as he raised his voice. "Yeah, and in the process, you also pointed out that I'm probably the worst Alpha in the history of the tribe!" He threw himself onto the edge of the bed, his head in his hands.

My previous annoyance faded and was replaced with concern. "Jake, what's wrong?"

He looked up at me, his eyes filled with despair. "Well, I haven't exactly been the Alpha my pack deserves lately, have I? I mean, for two weeks I was completely M.I.A. I was there, but my heart wasn't in it. I was just going through the motions. I'm supposed to be a leader, not a weak, love-sick teenager. I should have been there for my pack, Leah especially. I should have talked to her about this _thing_ she has with Jack. But, I was too busy with my own problems. This is exactly what I was worried about when I took the Alpha role. I keep putting my own personal needs before my Pack, and look what's happened. Leah just ruined a chance at happiness by telling Jack something she never should have told him. Some leader I am."

I stood in front of Jacob and grabbed his chin in my hand, angling his head up towards me. "Jake, enough with the pity party, okay? You're an Alpha _and_ a love-sick teenager. You can't be one without the other right now. That's just who you are. You're human. And, contrary to what you'd have me believe, you're not perfect."

He gasped, staring at me with mock surprise. I couldn't help the smirk that formed on my face. That was one of the things I loved most about Jacob. Even when he was upset, he still had a great sense of humor. "Jake, I love you despite your imperfections. Hell, I love you _because_ of your imperfections. You're new to the whole Alpha role. You've only been in that position for a few weeks. And, the majority of that time, you were dealing with your own personal crisis, no thanks to me. You're going to make mistakes. That's what makes us who we are. No one's asking you to be Sam. No one's asking you to be anything other than who you are."

Jacob's eyes met mine and I was taken aback by the look of awe and wonder on his face. He looked at me like I was the most amazing thing he'd ever seen, like he lived and breathed for my touch. Bolstered by his worshipful gaze, I grasped his face in my hands and continued.

"Jake, we were both going through a terrible time. We both neglected our responsibilities. But, you're a natural born leader. Your pack, your friends, they love you. And they'd follow you anywhere. And now that we're back together, you're going to show them just what kind of leader you can be. You forget, Jake. I've seen you in action. When you took your birthright and saved Alice and Edward…"

Jake stifled a low grumble at the mere mention of Edward's name, and the frown returned to his face. I sighed, grasping his face tighter, forcing him to look at me.

"Jake, that day I saw strength and power in you that was only hinted at before. Your voice, your resolve was so strong, that even _I_ felt compelled to obey your commands."

He pulled up sharply and said, "Really?" A devilish grin appeared on his face. I dropped my hands from his face and set them on my hips. I glared at him, arching my eyebrow pointedly.

"Sorry," he mumbled. Though I could tell that he really wasn't and that his mind was racing through the vast possibilities my confession suggested.

"As I was saying," I continued. "You are a born Alpha. No one doubts that, except for you. There was nothing you could have done to prevent Leah from telling Jack about the wolves, unless you ordered her not to. And, that's just not something you would do, because if you were in her position, and I was in Jack's, you would have done whatever you could to tell me the truth."

Jacob stood up and grabbed my hand, pulling me close and pressing me to his chest. I sighed and nuzzled into his embrace, my hands reveling in the feel of the hardened muscles of his back.

"What did I ever do to deserve you Bells," he asked, whispering huskily into my ear.

"Oh Jake, you loved me, even when I wished you wouldn't. You deserve the best. And I'm going to spend my life trying to be exactly that."

He leaned in to kiss me, but I pulled away. "Oh, no you don't, mister. I have to go see Leah. She needs a friend right now."

"You're right," he sighed despondently. "Be back soon, okay? I'll save some pizza for you."

Yeah, right, I thought to myself. I kissed him chastely then threw on my shoes and headed out the door. It was already dark, so I decided to drive to Leah's even though it was fairly close to Jacob's house. When I got to her house, all was quiet. I walked up to the front door and knocked. Leah called from inside, "Come on in Bella, the door's open."

I walked in to find Leah sitting on the couch. The house was dark save for a few lamps on in the living room. "Where is everyone," I asked nervously. Leah looked like a stone statue. She reminded me of how she used to be, so lost and lonely. Her eyes were clear, and I noticed that at least she hadn't been crying. Though, I realized that probably wasn't a good thing either. I knew from experience that it was the crying that helped you get through the hard times. Leah tended to bottle everything inside, with no relief in sight.

"Mom spent the weekend visiting relatives. Seth is patrolling." They were simple answers, with no offer to elaborate. She had yet to make eye contact with me. So, I sat down on the couch next to her, and patted her knee with my hand.

"Leah, tell me what happened."

She finally looked at me and I nearly gasped at what I saw. Her eyes were void of all life. She looked like an empty shell. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to find Jack and rip his body to shreds for making Leah feel that way.

"Well, I guess it went pretty much how I expected it to. When we left the party, we headed straight back here. There was no one around so I knew we'd have privacy when I told him the truth. You were so right Bella. I shouldn't have kept it from him as long as I did. He had a right to know who and what I am." She nervously picked at invisible lint on her dress. "Anyway, I sat him down right where you're sitting and told him some of our tribal stories. I told him about the _cold ones_ and the _protectors_. He found it all so interesting. He's part Cherokee, you know? But, I guess he was raised mainly by his father's family and they're all Irish. So, he doesn't have any traditions to hold onto. Well, he hung on every word. I think he was excited to hear scary stories, seeing as how it was Halloween and all. But, then I told him it was all true."

Leah looked miserable, on the verge of tears that wouldn't come. I nodded, encouraging her to continue.

"He laughed at me. He thought it was the best Halloween ever with stories about vampires and werewolves. I told him I wasn't kidding and he just laughed even harder. So, I took him out back, stripped my clothes, and phased. Bella, he nearly jumped out of his own skin! He looked so pale and frightened."

"Leah, it's okay, you can let it out. It's okay to cry. It'll make you…"

"No, Bella, I'm fine. As much as I'm dying inside right now, I'm not going to cry over a man. I'm done with that."

She looked like she was anything but done with that. But, I let it drop. "Leah, what did Jack say?"

"What could he say? In one instant, I told him that vampires and werewolves do exist, that his girlfriend who he loves and trusts has been lying to him, and that I also morph into a giant, vampire killing dog. Oh, and let's not forget my personal favorite, the possibility of imprinting. So, as if that wasn't enough, I had to explain the truth about my issues with Sam and Emily and tell him that even though I loved him, one day I could meet some guy and up and leave him without a second thought. He tried Bella, he really did. He tried to understand. I could see it in his eyes. But, it was just too much for him to handle."

Leah stared off into space; silent and unreachable. My heart was breaking for her. "I don't understand. He loves you Leah. It's painfully obvious. I mean, you're still you. Being a wolf doesn't change that. Why can't he see that?" To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. I had liked Jack the moment I met him in that bookstore. His brazen confidence and model good looks reminded me a lot of my Jacob. The fact that he had made Leah so happy in such a short time only elevated him in my esteem. But, knowing he had given up so easily on her made me angry.

She must have seen the wheels turning in my head, because Leah interjected, "Don't be too hard on him Bella. He's got native blood, but he's not from our tribe. He doesn't have our traditions, or our curse. Besides, he was never in love with a vampire, so finding out his girlfriend is a werewolf is a little more shocking to deal with. We can't all be as accepting as Bella Swan."

Well, I guessed she had a point there. Edward and Jacob had both marveled at how willing I was to accept them in my life, knowing what they were. I didn't know if it was stupidity on my part, or merely a need to trust in people that made me so accepting. To date, it had only been a good quality, because as a result, I had been able to experience two great loves; first love, and enduring love. Sure, I took chances with my choices, but I had reaped wonderful rewards from taking chances others might deem foolish or dangerous.

"It's over," Leah said, resignation in her voice. "I mean, he said he just needed time, to think about everything, to get a handle on it all. But, I saw the look in his eyes. He was panicked and he wanted a way out. So I gave it to him. I let him go without a fight, because, I honestly didn't think there was anything left to fight for. I took another chance on love, and I got burned. It happens. But, I'll survive. I always do." She said the words, but I could tell she didn't believe them. She loved Jack, and I knew she would be lost without him. She turned to look at me and narrowed her eyes.

She leaned in closely and asked, "What's on your neck?" My hand immediately clasped my neck as memories of Jake's wild behavior flooded my mind. I was embarrassed that Jake had left a mark, but mortified that Leah had seen it. I hoped the marks would fade before Charlie came home. Talk about humiliating. Leah chuckled at my discomfort. "Well, at least one of us had a good night last night."

"Leah," I began, but was interrupted by a strong knock at the door. Leah looked at me in surprise and murmured, "Hmm, that's strange. I wasn't expecting anyone but you. And the guys just tend to barge in."

She walked to the front door and opened it. She gasped in surprise and I quickly ran towards her to see what was wrong. When I approached I saw Jack standing in the doorway, his eyes were red and his face was lined with worry. His hair was unkempt and his clothing was disheveled. He looked as though he hadn't slept. In fact, he looked like a ghost of his former self.

"Am I too late?" He asked pleadingly. Leah stood mute and motionless. I couldn't see her face from my vantage point, but I could only assume that she looked as confused as I felt. His was not the face of a guy who was going to leave when things became difficult. Jack was in this, for the long haul. I could see it in his eyes. "Leah," he continued frantically. "I know I said I needed time to process it all. But, I was an idiot. I should never have walked out on you. You were right to keep the truth from me as long as you did. If you would have told me sooner, I don't know how I would've handled it. Though, it's not like I handled it all that well last night either."

He looked down at his feet, shamefaced, and combed his fingers through his hair nervously. When he looked back up, his eyes fell on me, and surprise registered on his face. "Oh…hey Bella." He smiled half-heartedly at me. I managed a small smile of my own in response then found myself blushing, embarrassed at being caught bearing witness to such a private moment.

Silence permeated the room. Jack looked so sad and forlorn. It hadn't escaped my notice that Leah remained quiet and unyielding throughout the entire exchange. Jack took a step into the house, and Leah took a step back, away from him. He paused and frowned. "Leah, I know I don't deserve another chance, but I _love_ you. I don't care what you are. _Who_ you are is more important to me. I was an idiot to walk out on you last night. And, if you give me another chance, I promise I'll never do it again. Not only were you letting me in on an important part of your life, but you finally opened up to me about why you were so hurt when I met you. The whole imprinting thing really cut you up inside, and me leaving must have been like another wound. Well, I'm telling you right now, that if I only have you for one day or for the rest of my life, I'll be the happiest man alive. If you imprint on someone, well, I'll leave, or I'll fight for you. Whatever you need me to do. I love you Leah. I'm so, so sorry. Please tell me that you still want me."

I found myself waiting with baited breath. I was intruding on this intimate moment, but I found that I couldn't look away. I waited for a sign from Leah that she had forgiven Jack. Had I been in her shoes at that moment, I would've welcomed Jack with open arms. But it wasn't my decision to make. Leah had a right to be wary when it came to love. Jack and I both waited anxiously for her next move. But, Leah didn't say a word. My own heart thumped loudly in my chest and my palms started to sweat with anticipation. I could only imagine how Jack must have felt standing in front of her, completely vulnerable. Time threatened to stand still interminably, until I saw Leah's body relax. The next thing I knew, Leah threw herself at Jack and kissed him passionately. He grunted in surprise at the impact, but then returned the kiss vigorously. I smiled brightly and clapped my hands, jumping around like a school girl, excited to be a witness to their reconciliation. But, my happiness was short-lived, because then things got ugly, and they got ugly fast.

Leah growled as their kisses intensified. Jack moaned in response and his hands started roaming her body. Oh God no! I was mortified. I tried averting my eyes, but I found it was like looking at a car wreck. You knew you shouldn't look, but you couldn't help yourself. I'm standing right here people, I thought to myself. But, my presence was long forgotten by the reconciled pair. I grabbed my keys and tried to maneuver past them in the tight hallway. Before I could get through, Jack picked Leah up and pulled her legs up around his waist. He then pressed her up against the wall with a loud grunt. I heard Leah moan, "Oh God, Jack!"

"Oh…that's not good…no," I cried aloud, covering my eyes. Oh God, I've got to get out of here, I thought, not for the first time. I was able to slip past them and was appalled to see them grinding against each other, moaning and whimpering into each other's mouths. Suddenly Leah ripped Jack's shirt off and started to go to town on his neck and chest with hungry kisses. I opened the front door and said, "Uh, okay, I'll just talk to you later then Leah." They simply responded with stifled moans and guttural sounds. I slammed the door shut behind me and sagged slightly against it. My mouth was agape in shock. I hoped that Jake and I didn't look like that when we were around others. I stayed there for a moment to get my bearings. The moans intensified from inside and I heard, "Leah, God I love you so much." I smiled to myself and then I started laughing. Well, at least I knew they would be fine. So, I got back in my car and headed back to Jake.

I pulled up outside his house and parked the car. I was headed to the front door when I heard loud guffaws and laughter coming from Jacob's garage. I walked towards the garage and found Jake leaning against his car, doubled over in laughter while Quil and Embry stood around gesturing animatedly.

"Dude, if you would have stayed, like ten more minutes, you would have seen everything," Quil said, clearly pleased with himself.

I stood in the doorway, surprised that my presence had yet to be discovered. I couldn't help but smile at seeing them so carefree together. It reminded me of simpler times, when I first started coming to La Push. In many ways, I wished Jacob could go back to that time when he was just a kid hanging out with his friends. Jacob really needed to spend more time with his friends, outside of pack responsibilities. I tried to sneak away to give them that alone time when Embry called out to me.

"Oh, hey Bella."

"Hey, Annie Oakley's here. Where's your hat Bella?" Quil just had to go there. I blushed furiously remembering how I must have looked in the morning wearing Jake's cowboy hat, shirt, and nothing else. Clearly he got more of an eyeful than I had originally thought.

Jake stopped laughing and hit Quil on the back of his head eliciting a pained, "Ow!"

"Hey, lay off of my girl, or next time it'll be worse."

Embry chimed in to break the tension of the moment. "So, nice to see you Bella, but Quil and I actually have to get going." He tugged on Quil's arm and eyed him meaningfully. "See you guys later." He smiled at me and dragged Quil away with him.

"What was that about?" I asked after they had left. "They didn't have to leave on my account."

"Oh yes they did. I've shared you enough this weekend. I want you all to myself while I still have time. Come Monday, I start my heavy patrolling rotation and I won't have this kind of time with you. So, as far as I'm concerned, you've already been gone too long."

I smiled at how wanted and needed he always made me feel. "Please, I wasn't gone that long at all and you know it."

"True. Why is that? I thought you'd be with Leah a hell of a lot longer."

I leaned against the doorway; my hip pressed in against the frame and folded my arms across my chest. "Yeah, that's what I thought too. But, Jack stopped by and kind of cut my visit short."

"Really?" he asked. "I assume Leah gave it to him?"

I choked out a laugh. "Oh yeah she did. My guess is, repeatedly."

He eyed me curiously and I burst out laughing and explained the whole thing. He was thrilled that everything had worked out, but expressed his concern that I would then be scarred for life having had to witness Leah in the throes of passion.

"Well, I suppose it could have been worse. I mean, it's not like Jack's all that bad to look at." I knew that a part of Jacob was irrationally jealous of Jack. I thought it would be fun to use that knowledge to play with him a bit. Jacob rewarded me with a growl as he stalked towards me, all predator hunting his prey. I tensed slightly, ready to play his game, when a thought occurred to me.

"Hey Jake, what were Quil and Embry talking about earlier?"

He paused in his approach and broke out into the grin I loved so much. He sauntered up to me, as I stepped back into the doorway. He pressed his body to mine and leaned over me, resting his weight on his elbow above my head.

"You're never going to believe what happened after we left the party."

"Okay, you're right. So, tell me. The suspense is killing me."

"Well, you know that girl who dumped the drink on Paul's head?" I nodded, because, how could I forget her.

"It turns out, that hell really _hath_ no fury like a woman scorned."

"Okay Shakespeare. Quit with the cryptic and just tell me what happened." He enjoyed teasing me, but I knew he was just building up the suspense.

He chuckled and traced my cheek with his free hand. "It turns out that she's been spreading some rumors about our precious Paul. She told every girl at that party, including most from the Rez in general, that Paul was a walking venereal disease. She said she and like five of her friends had to be tested because of him."

I gasped in shock. "Oh, don't worry," Jacob replied, ostensibly reading my mind. "He's clean, as amazing as that sounds. But, he's got quite the reputation at this point. That Raven chick wasn't the only girl to poor a drink on him last night. In fact, Sam had to kick him out because Emily was getting pissed with all the damage being done to her carpet as a result. That guy isn't going to get laid for months. He's going to have to outsource his ladies if he wants any action."

He started laughing again and I couldn't help but join in the merriment even though I kind of felt bad for Paul. It was just in my nature to empathize with others. But, for the most part, I felt he got his just desserts. Maybe he'd be easier to deal with now that he'd been cut down a few pegs.

Jacob still towered over me in his tight jeans and dingy looking shirt. I eyed the muscles of his biceps as his arm hung suspended over my head. Soon, all thoughts of Paul or anyone else faded. All I saw before me was Jacob, my beautiful, loving, charming, sex-fiend boyfriend. And, all I thought about was the fact that we had less than twenty-four hours to enjoy the freedom of our fathers being away.

I smiled seductively and looked up at him, batting my eyelashes. "Jake, how about we christen the garage?"

"I thought you'd never ask," he replied. And before I knew it, we were lost in a haze of fiery kisses and discarded clothes.

**A/N: I would like to apologize once again for the delay between chapters. After I finished the last chapter, I had planned to take a couple of weeks off to get some reading done. Unfortunately, I got so caught up in reading that I kind of lost the desire to write. Of course, a couple of weeks, turned into a few more when I was hit with a bad case of writer's block. So, if this chapter isn't up to snuff, I apologize. I've been a little out of practice.**

**I also wanted to add that I have every intention of finishing this story. In fact, I already have a sequel planned. So, if there's ever another lull between updates, have no fear. I won't leave you hanging. You may want to put me on Author Alerts if you haven't done so already. I'd like to thank you all for sticking with me and for all of your support. Please review and let me know what you think about this chapter. Thanks again. ******


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I dot NOT!**

**A/N: Sorry this one took so long. Thanks to my anonymous reviewers: lindaneale, Paola, Kandykane, and Bride-to-Be! And of course, I'd like to thank everyone else who always reads and reviews every chapter. I really appreciate it. Thanks to Christine for helping me pull this chapter together. I'll leave a longer note at the end. **

**CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT **

Jacob and I made the best of our weekend alone together. By Sunday evening, when Billy and Charlie came home with a cooler full of fish, we were closer than ever before. We all had dinner together that night. I sat at Billy's kitchen table and couldn't help but stare at the most important men in my life, as they ate their fill, talked and laughed together. All was well between Jake and Charlie. Charlie saw how attentive and loving Jacob was towards me, and soon all enmity between them was quickly forgotten. I truly had a sense of family. Sure, it wasn't the conventional family, but then again, I had never had that. As I glanced around the table, I smiled at the prospect of a lifetime of similar meals shared together. It warmed my heart that through the years, the table would need to get bigger to fit our growing family. It felt right.

I made it a point to wear my hair down in front of Charlie. Thanks to Jacob's voracious appetite, I had a couple of bruises from bite marks he left on my neck. I attempted to take my anger out on Jacob. He, of course, found it funny, not to mention a turn on that he had marked me as his so blatantly. Needless to say, that argument went nowhere fast. Lucky for me, Charlie was pretty oblivious when it came to that sort of thing. He and Billy were in such good moods from their fishing trip, that they didn't pay too much attention to us anyway.

It was hard driving away from Jacob's that night. I had grown so accustomed to his warmth after a month of enduring my own personal winter. My heart had thawed and the love I felt for him flooded out from me in unstoppable waves. I longed for the time when we wouldn't have to leave each other for the night; when we could fall asleep in each other's arms every night in our own home. I pushed all those feelings aside and looked at the big picture. We were still young. We both had plenty of living to do before that could become a reality. Not to mention the fact that we both had work the following morning, and we both needed the rest.

Leah called me the next day to apologize for bailing on me when I had come to support her. I assured her that there was no harm done and that I was happy that she and Jack had reconciled. When I asked how things were going, she told me that they were extremely happy and that they were even thinking about moving in together. Though he was still unnerved by the whole "wolf" thing, what concerned him more was the actual existence of vampires. More to the point, he was equal parts appalled and impressed that my former fiancé happened to be a vampire. According to Jack, my "cool factor" shot up exponentially. Leah warned me that Jack would have plenty of questions for me when he saw me next.

Jacob and I were incredibly busy that following week. He made good on his word to devote more of his time and energy to his pack. He led most of the patrols, but also took on extra shifts at the auto body shop. Between his schedule and my job at Newton's and my internship in Port Angeles, Jacob and I found ourselves burning the candle at both ends.

Needless to say, we treasured every spare moment we had together, which were few and far between. At the end of that first week of hell, Jacob told me he would come over after work to spend some quality time with me. Since he would be busy with patrolling over the weekend, Friday night was the only time we could be together. He suggested that we go to a movie, for which I was truly grateful. It had been a while since we did anything "date" like.

I decided to cook dinner for us at home rather than eating out. With our first semester of college right around the corner, saving money had become our top priority. I came home from work and went straight to the kitchen to prepare my infamous chicken enchiladas. When Charlie got home, I gave him a few instructions on how to finish the dish and to put it in the oven while I went upstairs to shower and get ready for my date.

In the shower, I scrubbed my skin raw and shaved leaving my skin as smooth as possible. I rummaged through my closet for something special to wear. Thanks to the combined efforts of Alice and Renee, not to mention Rosalie and Emmett's birthday gift, my wardrobe had grown over that last few months. My closet was practically overflowing with nice clothing. Sure, I kept my requisite baggy jeans and flannel shirts, but I hated to admit that I liked the feel of the finer fabrics against my skin. And, I couldn't deny that Jacob liked taking them off just as much.

I chose a form-fitting, red sweater that showed just the right amount of cleavage. Not too much, but just enough to fuel Jacob's imagination. I threw on my dark, curve-hugging jeans, which were finally starting to fit me a little better thanks to the fact that I was happy, healthy, and eating better. I completed the outfit with a pair of low-heeled boots to add a bit of sophistication without having to worry about tripping and falling. I blow-dried my hair into large, soft waves and was startled to find that without my knowledge, my hair had grown down almost to my waist and was on the verge of getting out of control. I made a mental note to have it cut before it got out of hand.

I had just finished up in the bathroom when I heard a knock at the door and knew that Jacob had arrived. My heart raced, as it always did, when he came over. I couldn't believe that after all our time together he could still make butterflies invade my stomach. I smiled to myself as I headed down the stairs. Charlie had just let Jacob in before retiring back into the living room. Jacob stood in front of the closed door waiting for me with a huge smile on his face.

He was dressed casually in just a t-shirt and a worn pair of jeans and sneakers. His hair, which had grown about an inch since he shaved it, was just long enough to be a little wild and unruly. His smile was contagious. But, upon closer inspection, I saw that he looked tired; exhausted really. His eyelids were a dark purple and he had bags under his eyes. I felt bad for him. He worked so hard and he was stretched so thin between his responsibilities, but he never complained. I threw myself into his arms. He grunted from the impact and then chuckled, holding me tightly in his arms. I pulled away and stood up on my tip-toes while I pulled his head down towards me by his neck. I gave him a quick peck on the lips; always mindful of Charlie's presence. But, I hoped that the look in my eyes told him I wanted to give him so much more.

"Mmm," he mumbled, smiling knowingly at me. "I've missed you Bells."

"Jake, I just saw you yesterday," I replied, though I too had felt his absence.

We held each other a little longer before he pulled away and said, "It smells delicious in here."

I took his hand and led him into the kitchen, smiling all the way. "Thank you. I thought it would be nice to eat here before we went out. And," I said, dropping my voice so only he could hear me. "I'm really looking forward to being _alone_ with you tonight."

He smirked and kissed me more passionately than before. I pulled away, rendered breathless, before things could go any farther. I reminded him that Charlie was just in the other room and he chuckled. He started to help me set the table when I noticed that he was swaying in exhaustion.

I shooed him away playfully. "Jake, get out of here. You're tired. Why don't you have a seat on the couch with Charlie? Dinner's almost done anyway. I'll call you when it's ready.

He made like he would protest, then nodded gratefully and kissed me on the cheek, his hot hand lingering on my backside. He squeezed me through my jeans and I almost yelped in surprise. I was rewarded with his brilliantly, genuine smile.

"Okay Bells," he whispered in my ear. "By the way, you look beautiful tonight."

He walked into the living room to join Charlie on the couch. I couldn't get the huge grin off of my face as I finished preparing the meal. I even caught myself humming. When the oven timer went off, I grabbed the enchiladas and set them on the table while I called out to Charlie and Jacob. A moment later, Charlie walked in with a puzzled look on his face.

"What's up Dad?" I asked.

"It's the weirdest thing," he mused.

"Okay, I'll bite," I chuckled. "What's so weird?"

"Jake's fast asleep. Normally, all you have to do is whisper the word dinner and he's up and running. Hell, I thought he'd come in as soon as he heard the timer go off. But, he crashed out on the couch the moment he sat down, and I swear he hasn't moved a muscle since."

He shook his head and sat down at the table while I checked in on Jacob. Sure enough, he was fast asleep. He was sitting low in the couch with his long legs bent and spread out in front of him. His head was thrown back, and his mouth was slightly opened. His arm was draped casually over the arm rest. It was almost as if he had been casually watching TV, thrown his head back in laughter, and instantaneously fallen asleep. He looked comfortable enough; and peaceful. And, when I whispered the word "food" in his ear and he didn't so much as blink; I knew that trying to wake him would be a lost cause. So, I joined Charlie in the kitchen.

"Is everything okay?" Charlie asked when I finally sat down with a full plate.

"Yeah, Jake's just been working really hard this past week. I'm sure he'll wake up soon."

"Hmm," he nodded thoughtfully. "I just hope Billy isn't letting him work himself too hard."

We ate the rest of our meal in comfortable silence. When we finished, Charlie helped me clear and put away the dishes. Jacob had yet to wake up so I set aside a heaping helping of food because I knew he would be famished the moment he did. Charlie yawned and said, "Well, I'm going to turn in. I have an early morning tomorrow. The food was great Bells."

"Thanks Dad. Goodnight."

He smiled awkwardly at me and said, "Sorry about your date Kiddo."

I don't know why my mind went there, but I thought back to my disastrous "baseball" date with Edward. Sure, that was all fun and games; until a group of human-eating vampires crashed the party and decided to place me at the top of their menu. I shook my head and looked at Charlie. "It's okay Dad. I've had worse."

He nodded and walked to the stairs, placing his foot on the bottom step. "Hey Bells, tell Jake he can stay the night if he needs to. I mean, on the couch, of course."

I smiled happily, unable to contain my gratitude. "Of course," I replied. "Thanks Dad."

I scrubbed down the countertops quickly before joining Jacob in the living room. I kicked off my shoes and socks, grabbed a blanket, and hunkered down on the couch. Thankfully, Jacob was relegated to the opposite side, so I had room to stretch out while still giving him his space. I tucked my cold feet underneath his thigh and sighed happily as his natural heat warmed my body instantly.

I watched him sleep for a moment and recalled the various times I had been in the same position. I remembered watching him sleep when I knew he was my protector; my one and only friend. At the time, he was still just a boy in my mind; a boy too young to be burdened with the role of protecting his loved ones from vampires. I'd also watched him sleeping while I lay naked in his arms. At those times, he was still my protector; still my best friend. But he was also my lover; the one person to whom I entrusted my heart, body and soul. And, yet there were times like these when he was my companion. Even when he was asleep, (and technically separated from me by the world of dreams) he was still by my side and I was comforted. We didn't need to have a constant flow of topics to discuss, even though he was a great conversationalist; far better than I anyway. We didn't have to search for ways to entertain each other, or fear awkward silences. When we were together, we just _were_. And I couldn't have asked for anything more.

So, I settled in for the evening, resigned in the knowledge that my date had turned into much needed "me" time. I flipped through the channels on the TV for a while. When I got bored, I picked up my laptop and did some writing. And, when my inspiration was finally tapped, I grabbed my trusty Jane Austen collective works and started reading.

I was so engrossed in my reading that I didn't even notice Jacob stir until he let out a soft moan. I glanced at the time on the cable box and gasped in surprise when I noticed that it was already midnight. I set my book down and watched as Jacob rubbed his eyes groggily.

"Mmm," he sighed. "Are you ready to catch that movie now?"

I chuckled. "Um, I'm pretty sure we missed it."

His brow furrowed in confusion. "What are you talking about? How long was I out?"

"Oh, about six hours."

"Wh-What?!" He yelled, launching himself from the couch. I stood up abruptly and threw my hand over his mouth. "Shh Jake," I whispered through my laughter. "You're going to wake Charlie."

"You let me sleep for six hours," he whispered once I took my hand away.

"Oh come on Jake. As if I could wake you. You were dead to the world."

He sat back down on the couch hard, scratching his head in disbelief. "I blew it," he muttered.

I lowered myself onto his lap and held his face between my hands. He looked at me sheepishly before slowly winding his arms around my waist.

"You worry too much," I said as I traced my thumb over his chin. I leaned in and kissed his supple lips, closing my eyes and savoring the warmth of his breath and the sweetness of his taste. I sighed contentedly and broke the kiss to find a mischievous glint in his eyes. His trademark grin appeared on his face.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what was that for? I ruined our date, remember?"

"You didn't ruin anything Jake. We can go out anytime. You've been exhausted all week. Do you really think I would have enjoyed myself after dragging you out when you should have been resting? It was a nice evening, just being near you. It reminded me of when I spent Spring Break in La Push. You didn't have to do anything special for me back then for me to enjoy myself, and you don't have to do that now. Besides, Charlie said you could spend the night."

His eyes practically popped out of his head, which made me laugh. "Whoa, wait a minute. You mean I actually have Charlie's _permission_ to ravage his daughter?"

"Hmm," I said, pretending to consider the question. "No, I don't think that's what he said. Besides, he said you had to stay on the couch."

His lips twitched and his eyebrows wiggled suggestively. "Well, I'm more than willing to ravage you on the couch."

"Yeah, but you won't," I replied matter-of-factly.

He sighed in defeat, smiling brightly, and pulled me tighter against his chest. I sank into his warm embrace and snuggled against his firm chest. His hand combed through my hair sending tingles through my scalp and down my spine. He kissed the top of my head and then tucked it under his chin. My own arms found their way around his waist and I felt truly happy just to be safe in his arms.

We sat like that for a long time, completely engrossed in the comfort and security provided. Our private moment was interrupted when Jacob's stomach growled. I smiled against his chest then stood up, pulling him after me.

"Come on," I urged playfully. "Let's go feed the _wolf_."

Our lives got pretty hectic after that. The following week, Jacob and I received our college acceptance letters. We had both decided to attend Peninsula College in Port Angeles. Our choice ensured that I would be able to continue working at the publishing house, while Jacob would be close to the pack and work.

Charlie was ecstatic about our college plans. He and Billy spent hours together talking about how proud they were of us. I had decided to live on campus to get a feel for the whole college experience. Charlie wasn't too keen on the idea of living alone again, but he was more than encouraging. Though Jacob had a full scholarship, he decided to live at home, as opposed to in the dorms with me. He was torn. He wanted to be close to me at all times, but he felt that he should be close to Billy and the Pack as well.

The Cullens came home from Denali about a week later, without Edward. Alice told me that Edward decided to stay in Alaska for a bit longer to help him deal with his feelings for me. Spending two weeks pretending to be in love and engaged hurt him deeply. He was confused and conflicted because it was painful for him to be around me, but even more painful for him to be away. A part of me missed him terribly, because I still wanted his friendship. I knew he had suffered just as much as I had during our charade, albeit for different reasons entirely. All in all, I was grateful that he decided to stay because I knew how hard it was for him to see me in Jacob's arms. Regardless of what I said, or what Alice's visions held, Edward was convinced that I was his one and only. And if that's the way he felt, then he needed to get used to the fact that his "one and only" was in love with someone else. But, something about the whole situation just didn't sit right with me. Alice seemed strained and distant, and not at all happy about Edward's decision to stay. I figured she was worried unnecessarily, considering how important it was for Edward to finally move on. Since Alice didn't offer to confide in me, I let the matter drop.

However, what I wouldn't let drop was Alice's suggestion that she, Jasper, and Edward should attend college with me in the spring. I was thoroughly pissed that she would even entertain that idea. Going to college was a rite of passage, one that _I_ was only going to experience once. It frustrated me to no end that Alice felt she could impose on that. She assured me that the only reason she thought of it was to offer extra protection and that she had no intention of interfering in my private life. Seeing Alice's hurt expression, softened my anger. I loved her, and her family. I just didn't want to have to be babysat. She backed off a bit when she realized that I wasn't going to budge. She conceded and said she'd work something else out and that I needn't worry.

Carlisle had some good news when he came home. The remaining Denali clan was more than willing to join us in taking a stand against the Volturi. In his centuries of existence, Carlisle had made many friends and earned love and respect from everyone whose life he touched. Carlisle still believed that we would find a way out of this mess with a non-violent solution. But, he was wise enough to understand that he needed to enlist the help of as many allies as he could, because we could not defy the might of the Volturi alone. I didn't fool myself into believing that they would stand up for me, one human out of billions. But, they loved Carlisle, and if he deemed me worthy of protection, then they would as well.

Unfortunately, the Denali clan was now quite small and with Tanya's recent loss, they were also unstable. Carlisle argued that we would need more support if it came down to fighting with the Volturi. With that admission alone, it was clear that Carlisle still held firm to the belief that we might get out of this mess without bloodshed, or loss of life. But, even so, he wanted to do whatever he could to ensure that we had as many allies as possible.

Carlisle decided to take a leave of absence from the hospital for a month so that he and Esme could travel the world to meet with Carlisle's various contacts. He was convinced that he would need to meet with his friends and acquaintances personally if he'd have any hope of winning them over to our cause. The Cullens were adamant about making that mission a success. They vowed to save me, no matter what cost. I put my life and faith in their hands, because I simply had no other choice. But, I refused to let thoughts of the Volturi interfere with my life until it was absolutely necessary. I decided to put all the life and death, doom and gloom thoughts from my mind, and to embrace my mortality. My life was normal. It was mundane. But, more importantly, it was a human existence. I didn't know how much time I had before The Volturi would get their hands on me, but I was bound and determined to enjoy the gift of life. I refused to dwell on the fact that I had once been so blasé about throwing that gift away.

Jacob was excited for the Thanksgiving holiday, even if he didn't celebrate it. We were both off of work until the following Monday and relished the idea of having so much time together uninterrupted. There had been no sign of vampires or any danger whatsoever since Jane and Alec's visit. Jake and Sam decided that the packs should get together for a friendly football game that Friday to boost morale. Jacob had practically begged me to come and watch.

"Bells, please," he whined. "You'll have fun I promise," he pouted like a spoiled child, used to getting his way.

"I don't know," I frowned. "It's almost December and you want me to hang out at the beach all day?"

"You can bundle up. Besides," he grinned devilishly. "You know I can keep you warm."

I didn't argue with him. I had learned long ago that when it came to Jacob, resistance was futile.

The day of the game was dark and dreary. I stared out my bedroom window when I woke up and grimaced, knowing that I'd be exposed to that cold and dank weather all day. It was moments like that when I wished I was basking in the dry heat of Phoenix, or enjoying the warm beaches of Jacksonville. At least there, I could feel the sunshine on my face and the heat on my shoulders. I sighed dreamily because I knew I had traded the heat and sunshine for the comforting arms of _home_. I didn't mind the cold so much anymore, because I had my own personal sun to warm my skin.

Charlie decided to stay in all day watching sports. I wasn't supposed to meet Jacob until noon, so I busied myself with reading and lounging about the house aimlessly. I was eager to see Jacob. Thanks to our hectic schedules, we continued to find it difficult to spend enough time together.

By eleven, I decided I couldn't wait any longer and got ready. I figured that once I showered and dressed, and factored in the drive out there, I'd make it just in time. Though Jacob assured me that he would keep me warm, I bundled up knowing I'd be left to my own devices while he played.

I put on a pair of comfy jeans and a thick flannel. It was a football game. I didn't need to impress anyone. Plus, I was dressing for warmth, not style. Thanks to my Newton's employee discount, I also had some extra thick socks to keep my feet warm. I threw on my hiking boots and my winter jacket and topped it off with a wool hat on my head tucked low around my ears. I grabbed a blanket from the linen closet and walked downstairs. With a quick wave to Charlie, I was off to La Push.

I parked at Jacob's house and made my way down the familiar path to the beach with my blanket tucked securely in my arms. I heard music playing and loud grunts and yells carrying over the sound of the crashing waves. As I got closer, I saw Emily and Kim sitting around a small bonfire talking to a pretty girl I had never seen before. They were all smiles, staring off towards the men at play. I followed their gaze and stopped dead in my tracks.

There, playing in the sand was a group of the most beautiful, physically fit young men I'd ever seen. And, amidst them all, shining like a bright summer sun breaking through the autumn clouds, was Jacob. He was clad only in dark jeans and a crisp, white v-necked t-shirt that clung to his sculpted physique. His feet were bare and the bottoms of his jeans were wet and rolled up to his shins. My mouth watered as I took him in. He was too beautiful for words. Even though there was no one else on the beach besides the packs and their imprinted mates, I felt the need to possessively claim Jacob as mine.

The football game was already well under way. I realized that the teams were divided by packs, and that they were playing shirts versus skins. Apparently, Jacob's team had drawn the short straw, because he was still wearing a shirt. I shook my head and thought, now that was a damn shame. The guys were all laughing and taunting each other. I found myself smiling wide just watching them play carefree and happily. They were family, and I was a part of it.

Jake had the football in his hands, poised to throw it when he saw me watching him. His smile grew wide and he called out to me from across the beach, "Hey Bells!"

I blushed slightly as all eyes turned on me. I recovered quickly though and smiled, waving back to Jacob. I met his eyes just in time to see Paul charging at him and tackling him down into the breaking waves. The impact sounded like two mountains colliding. I couldn't help but wince at the brutality of it. They disappeared under the water.

Jacob popped up out of the breaking waves first, shaking the excess water from his hair and wiping it out of his eyes. Paul had righted himself by that point and Jacob shoved him hard, nearly throwing him off balance.

"What the fuck is your problem Paul?" Jacob's voice carried down the beach.

"Dude," Paul replied with a smirk. "The ball was in play. It's not my fault you got distracted."

"You're an asshole. You know that, right?" Jacob retorted.

"Yeah, whatever lover boy." Paul walked back towards Sam and Jared with a smug smile on his face.

Jacob merely shook his head at Paul's antics and trudged slowly out of the water. My breath caught in my throat at the sight. His white shirt was soaked through and clung to him like a second skin. His wet jeans stuck to his rippling thighs as he walked. He ran his hand through his hair again, and my eyes were riveted to his strong bicep as it bulged with the effortless movement. Once again I was rendered speechless by his beauty, and I wasn't ashamed to admit it. He caught me gawking at him and winked at me knowingly before resuming the game.

"Bella," Emily broke me out of my trance. "You might want to close your mouth now. There's a bit of drool dripping down your chin."

My mouth snapped shut and I reflexively wiped my chin. Emily giggled and beckoned me to join her.

"I'm sorry Bella, but your face was priceless."

I sat down between Kim and Emily who were already snuggled under their own blankets and keeping warm by the fire.

"They really are the hottest men you've ever seen, aren't they?" Kim smiled brightly, unabashedly ogling the lot of them.

"Yes," Emily added. "It's good to be us."

I lay my own blanket over my lap and warmed my hands over the fire, all the while looking up every so often to get a good view of Jacob in all his glory.

"Oh, how rude of me," Emily began. "Bella," she pointed to the pretty girl to her left. She was slender with high cheekbones and rose-colored lips. Her long black hair was tied into a casual ponytail. When Emily addressed her, she smiled sweetly, but shyly. "This is Karen." She paused for effect before continuing, "_Paul's_ date."

I said hello to Karen and smiled warmly at her. It took a moment for Emily's words to sink in. Paul's date? So, either she knew what kind of guy Paul was and didn't care, or the poor thing was ignorant and in for quite the surprise. And then I kicked myself for being so judgmental. It wasn't long ago that I was the "vampire girl" in the midst of a bunch of hostile wolves. I knew what it felt like to be an outsider, and to be judged by whom you associated with, and not for who you were. I vowed at that moment to be more open and understanding.

"Oh please," Karen shook her head sadly. "I'm hardly his date. Paul practically begged me to come hang out with him today. He was pretty desperate. I only agreed because he looked so sad and pathetic."

"No way!" Emily and Kim cried out in surprise. Karen laughed. "Yes, way," she continued. "I've gone to school with Paul since freshman year and he never once looked in my direction. Luckily for me, we never hung out in the same circles. I know he has a horrible reputation, but I try not to judge. Anyway, I ran into him this morning at the market. He cornered me in the produce aisle and told me that no girl on the Rez will go out with him and that all his friends would harass him if he didn't have someone on his arm. So, I agreed. But, I made him swear on his mother that it was just a _fake_ date and that he wasn't allowed to touch me inappropriately. So far, so good."

We all burst out laughing. Karen seemed like a great girl. She had an inviting quality to her that made you want to be her friend.

I got comfortable and chatted with the girls while we watched the game unfold. They played rough with each other and I was nervous that Karen would notice and become suspicious about their brute strength. Thankfully, Karen was too caught up in our conversation to care.

With the sparse knowledge I had of sports, despite living with Charlie, I determined that Jacob was the quarterback for his team. The guys seemed to relish the thought that they could tackle the hell out of each other without concern for repercussions. So, that's exactly what they did. Every play was more brutal and violent than the last, though they all emerged from every dog pile laughing with huge grins on their faces.

Though Jack played on Sam's team, Leah was the only one allowed to touch him. Every play was the same, regardless of which team had the ball. Jack would tackle Leah to the sand and they would proceed to make-out until the play was called. They were met with groans and jeers from the guys, and cheers from us girls looking on. Leah and Jack didn't seem to mind the attention, nor did they make any apologies for their behavior. It was nice to see that Jack was adapting to being the first "wolf boy" of the group so easily.

Sam, Paul, and Jared left the game at that point and came up to their respective ladies and sat down. Karen immediately tensed and looked extremely uncomfortable with Paul sitting so close to her. He put his arm around her shoulders and I had to stifle a laugh when she pulled his arm off and glared at him. He simply laughed it off considering Sam and Jared were too busy paying attention to their mates.

I decided to see what Jacob was up to, so I left the comfort of the fire and my blanket and walked towards the shore. Brady, Colin, and Seth were swimming. Just the thought of the cold water made me shiver. But, of course, with their werewolf constitutions, the cold was nothing to them. Seth waved to me from the water, and I couldn't help but smile. Leah and Jack were walking down the beach, hand in hand, looking happier than I'd ever seen them. And, of course, Jacob, Quil, and Embry were still busy throwing the ball back and forth.

When Jacob saw me approach, he threw the ball to Quil and jogged over to me. Without a word he scooped me up in his arms and spun me around smiling brightly. He set me back down on the sand and before I could get my balance, his lips honed in on mine and he kissed me fiercely. He pulled away leaving me dizzy and breathless. He grinned and touched my cheek lovingly. His eyes then traveled up and down my body appraisingly.

"Where are you underneath all that, Bells?" He tugged playfully at my warm hat, pulling it down over my face. I rolled my eyes in annoyance and adjusted it back on my head. I looked down at my thick, puffy jacket that hid my slim figure underneath layers of nylon and down.

"What?" I questioned petulantly. "You told me to bundle up."

"Yeah," he laughed merrily. "For a day at the beach, not Antarctica."

"Hey, you were busy with your game. I couldn't exactly expect you to keep me warm. Besides, look at you..." And I did look at him. His clothes were still slightly wet and his hair, which had grown in rather nicely over the past few weeks, was pointing every which way, messily atop his head. The view was even better close up and I couldn't hide how attractive I found him or how beautiful I thought he was.

"Here, let me help you with this," he said, as he quickly unzipped my jacket with nimble fingers.

The cold air sent shivers down my newly exposed skin. The heat from my jacket was sorely missed. "Hey," I cried out in protest. "I'm still cold."

"Well, I'm ready to keep you warm." His voice was laced with seduction.

"How can you when you're still wet?"

"Come on, my clothes are drying on me as we speak," he said. He directed my attention to his nearly dried t-shirt as proof.

I stared at him hungrily and mumbled, "Mmm hmm. What a pity."

Jacob eyed me curiously, stepped closer and pressed his body to mine, sliding my jacket down my arms until it dropped onto the sand. The cold that threatened to overwhelm me was immediately replaced by his body heat.

"My, my. Miss Swan, were you just undressing me with your eyes?" He leaned in and placed several soft kisses along my neck and across my jaw. My breathing grew labored from the proximity of his heated skin. I forgot about the girls sitting around the fire, and the boys in the water. I forgot about every other person on that beach with us. My thoughts were consumed by Jacob's presence and my undeniable need to be with him. He embraced me and I was immediately shocked by the wetness of his clothing soaking through my warm flannel.

I pulled away and slapped him against his chest. "Damn it Jake! You're getting me all wet!"

He pulled me closer despite my feeble protests and whispered roguishly in my ear, "You've never complained before."

I whimpered uncontrollably and then blushed at the way his simple innuendo made me feel. I tried to pull away again, only that time he chuckled and started tickling me. I started laughing so hard that it became difficult to breathe. I tried to bat his hands away, but to no avail. His onslaught was brutal and relentless. I thought I would pass out if he didn't stop. So, I made a run for it and took off down the beach. I heard Emily and Kim cheer me on from a distance, but I kept running even though I couldn't keep the smile off of my face. I knew Jacob was just toying with me. If he wanted to catch me, he could have. But, that didn't stop me from trying. With every step, my feet sank deeply into the thick sand and I knew I wouldn't have the strength or energy to keep it up for long. As soon as that thought crossed my mind, I tripped and fell into the soft sand, with my forearms splayed out in front of me, breaking my fall. Jacob dropped with a thud next to me and rolled me over facing him.

I laughed hysterically as soon as I was on my back. My eyes closed and I breathed in the smells of the salt water mingling with Jacob's very own musky, piney scent. My chest heaved from the exertion. My breath caught in my throat when I opened my eyes and saw Jacob's beautiful face, full of life and laughter.

"Gotcha!" He said.

And he did. He had me, mind, body and soul. There was no denying it, not that I ever wanted to. He had waited for me. He had helped me survive what I had thought was the most difficult time in my life. He let me take, and take, without a thought or care to what he would get in return. All he wanted from me was my love. And there was no one in the world I would rather give it to.

He smiled and leaned in, kissing me softly on the nose and then on the lips. I sighed into the kiss, throwing my arms around his neck. I tried valiantly to ignore the hoots and hollers coming from the pack, and instead focused in on Jacob's warm, loving eyes. That is, until a soft voice interrupted us.

"Jacob Black, you never change! All you ever did was chase pretty girls."

Jacob's body stiffened and his eyes registered recognition of that voice. Unfortunately, his body blocked my view of the speaker. He sat up quickly and then stood up, helping me to my feet.

"Rach?"

She looked as surprised as he did. Her eyes scanned up and down his large frame in confusion. "Holy shit little brother. What the hell has Dad been feeding you? You're huge!"

Jacob closed the distance to his sister and embraced her, picking her up and twirling her around. I couldn't help but smile at their sweet reunion. To my knowledge, Rachel hadn't been home from school since the previous Christmas. I would have seen her then, had I not been deep within my own zombie phase.

Jacob finally set Rachel down and I was able to get a good look at her. She was tall, though not quite as tall as Leah. Her skin was smooth and the same russet color of Jacob's. And she had his smile.

"Rachel," Jake practically shouted in excitement. "What are you doing here?"

"What, a girl can't come home and surprise her family? Geez thanks Jake. Way to make me feel welcome." She punched him on the shoulder playfully, but winced when her fist connected with his hard body. She clutched her hand dramatically. "Jesus, are you taking steroids or something? How the hell did you get so huge?"

Jacob merely grinned at her. "Hey, I'm a growing boy. It's not my fault you haven't been around to see it."

She frowned. "That was a low blow, Jake." She continued staring at him like he was a mystery that needed to be solved before continuing. "Well, an opportunity presented itself and I couldn't pass it up." Jacob looked at her questioningly. She merely shrugged him off saying, "I'll explain later. Anyway, it's been forever since I saw Dad. I think he's been lonely without me."

As an objective observer, I thought it was clear that Rachel was the one who was lonely without her family, but it wasn't my place to say anything. Rachel didn't continue and an awkward silence permeated the space between us. She stared at Jacob with a knowing smile on her face and kept glancing at me. Jacob seemed to remember himself and threw his arm over my shoulder. "Oh, sorry Rach, you remember Bella, right?"

Rachel finally turned her warm eyes on me and smiled. "Of course I remember Bella." She stepped closer and hugged me. "How could I forget you Bella? You know, every summer you came to visit, little Jakey here used to pester my sister and I about tips on how to make you fall in love with him. We teased him mercilessly, but he vowed even then that you would be his one day. I guess he was right after all."

I looked at Jacob in surprise and saw that he was blushing. My heart melted at the thought of a young, scrawny, awkward Jacob who was determined to win my love. I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. His arms then wrapped around me, all embarrassment forgotten.

Paul's annoyed voice interrupted our sweet moment. "Hey when you lovebirds are finished, the food is ready." He barely looked at us; as he was too busy eyeing Rachel from behind. Jacob let loose a low warning growl which Paul ignored. I patted him on the chest lightly in an attempt to calm him. Luckily for me, Quil and Embry came over and flanked Jacob on either side. Embry was about to say something to Rachel when Paul stepped in front of Rachel and finally met her gaze. And that's when all hell broke loose.

Paul stared at Rachel, wide-eyed and dumbfounded, with a look of longing in his eyes. His mouth was set into a goofy grin that spoke volumes to the latent love and devotion just waiting to be unleashed from his heart. He looked at her as though she was the very center of his universe; the very gravity that bound him to this world. Oh no, I thought to myself. I knew that look. And, from the tension building in Jacob's body next to me, so did he. Paul had imprinted on Rachel.

Before I knew what was happening, Embry grabbed me and pulled me away from Jacob, setting me protectively behind him. At the same time, Quil struggled to hold Jacob back as he grew livid and lunged towards Paul yelling angrily. Seth ran up just in time to grab onto Jacob and prevent him from breaking free.

"You mother fucker!" He shouted. "My sister? I'm going to kill you!"

Embry called out to the rest of the guys to help get a handle on the situation.

"Dude," Paul said. "You know I couldn't help it. Why can't you be happy for us?"

Jacob was taken aback by Paul's tone. "Why can't I…happy for you? Are you freaking crazy? You _imprinted_ on my sister! Stay the hell away from her or I'll rip your diseased balls off myself!"

Quil and Embry glanced at each other, clearly shocked by the new revelation. "Bing Bong! Hello!" Quil said in a sing-song voice in a pathetic attempt to lighten the mood.

"Dude," Embry muttered. "_So_ not helping."

By that time the rest of the guys had closed in around us. Jared stood slightly in front of Paul to prevent him from advancing on Jacob, though it was clear that Paul had no intention of fighting. Rachel looked mortified and confused by all the attention. "Jake," she said timidly. "What the hell is going on?"

"Don't worry Rachel," Paul interjected calmly. "I can explain everything. Come on," he offered his hand to her. "Why don't we go somewhere more private?"

Rachel recoiled from his outstretched hand and moved closer to Jacob. "Excuse me," she said angrily. "But I have no idea who you are, and if you think I'm going anywhere with you, you're out of your freaking mind."

Paul tried to move closer to her, but Sam held him back, shaking his head in warning. Despite the eagerness to pursue his soul mate, Paul couldn't deny the wishes of his Alpha. So, he hung back looking anxious and despondent while Jacob continued growling and snarling uncontrollably. He was shaking so violently that I actually feared for Paul's safety. And that was saying something.

"Is someone going to explain to me what the hell is going on?" Rachel was frustrated and beyond annoyed. "Jake, who is this loser?" Paul actually flinched like a puppy that knows it's displeased its master. I had never seen him take any kind of abuse before without so much as a snide remark in return. Clearly, he had it bad. This was my first experience at seeing imprinting. With Jacob, it didn't count because I saw the love and longing in his eyes before he ever phased. So, it never occurred to me that he had imprinted. I had to admit, it was a wondrous phenomenon to behold. Paul's entire demeanor had changed in a matter of seconds. And, poor Jacob was helpless against it.

"Alright," Sam finally joined the fray. "Let's all just settle down here. Rachel, Jacob and I have a lot to talk to you about. Some of it you're not going to like, and some of it you

might not want to hear. But, I promise we'll explain everything. Please, come with me."

Rachel looked from Jacob to Paul, and then to Sam. "Sure, okay."

"Great. Jared, why don't you and Kim take Rachel back to Billy's? I'll be there shortly."

Jared nodded and led Rachel back to the bonfire to get Kim. Sam then directed his attention to Embry. "Embry, why don't you take Paul's date home? Tell her…tell her there was a family emergency or something. Just get her out of here."

Embry looked nervously between Sam and Jacob. Though he knew it was the right thing to do, he couldn't help but feel like it was an order. And, Sam wasn't his Alpha anymore. Suddenly, Jacob's stance slackened and his body relaxed. He nodded towards Embry who quickly took off to find Karen.

"Jacob, I'm going to your place to explain things to Rachel. I wouldn't dare order you, but, I think you need to calm down before you join us. I'll see you later." He walked away taking a more somber, love-sick Paul with him.

As soon as they had walked away, Jacob threw himself down on the sand, sitting as though he had taken on a huge weight. He stared off towards the horizon. I took charge and motioned to Quil and Seth to leave us alone. Once they left, I knelt in front of him, cradling his face between my hands. I dragged my thumbs lightly over his lips and bent down to kiss him.

"Jake, it isn't that bad." As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew I had made a mistake. He narrowed his eyes at me seething with rage. "Are you serious right now? Paul, the walking venereal disease just imprinted on my sister! You know what he's like. My sister deserves better than him. And now, she's going to be dragged into our world because of him."

I sighed, feeling empathetic towards his concerns. "Maybe this is a good thing. At least this way you can be honest with her. You don't have to hide who you are. I mean, once she gets a handle on everything, Rachel might just stick around longer. You know Billy will like that."

"Yeah, so she can be stuck here on the Rez like the rest of us? Bells, she's not a wolf. She's not obligated to stay here. She has a future outside of this place, and she's going to throw it all away for a loser who isn't worthy of her."

He dug his hands in the sand and watched as the grains slipped through his fingers. "Paul just may surprise you Jake. I know you don't put much stock into imprinting, but I saw the look in his eyes. Maybe having someone like Rachel is just what he needs to be a better person. Besides, I think she's been lonely. Maybe it is fate that she decided to come visit when she did, and that Paul was here to meet her. It was meant to be. Regardless, she's your _older_ sister. The ball is in her court. There's nothing you can do about it, so you might as well start accepting it.

"Yeah, but I don't have to like it."

I nodded my head enthusiastically. "No one said you did."

He stood up, wiping the sand from his jeans. He pulled me to my feet and proceeded to smack my rear end repeatedly.

"Hey," I hollered in surprise. "What the hell are you doing? We're in public you know."

He laughed and showed me my favorite smile. "What, I was just getting the sand off of your pants."

I swatted his hands away. "Yeah, sure you were."

He then grabbed my hand and walked me down the beach to pick up my forgotten jacket. I threw it over my arm and followed him back to the small fire where Emily was left cleaning up.

"Bells, do you want to come home with me?"

"No, I'll stay with Emily and help her out."

"Okay," he replied. "I'll come by when we're done."

He kissed me and turned towards the path to his house. "Behave!" I called out after him. He turned around walking backwards with a mischievous smile on his face. "Always Bells," he replied. "Always."

I helped Emily pack up the uneaten food and doused the flames of the fire. We loaded everything in my car and I drove us over to her place. I helped her put everything away and then we sat on the couch talking for hours. We talked about her experience with imprinting and how it had forever changed her life. It was the first time I had ever heard that story from her point of view. She helped reassure me that both Rachel and Jacob would grow to accept the new dynamic, and that Paul would be irrevocably changed for the better. We ate dinner and then we both curled up to watch a movie. My eyes started to droop and I soon drifted off to sleep.

I awoke to the sensation of strong arms lifting and carrying me.

"Thanks Emily," I heard Jacob's soft voice. "I'll see you later."

"Jake?" I mumbled half-asleep.

"Hey Bells. I came to take you home. Go back to sleep."

He placed me in my car and drove me home, his hand resting on my thigh the entire way. I was pretty much awake by the time we got there, but Jacob carried me out of the car and into the house anyway.

"Jake, I'm fully capable of walking myself up the stairs. Why does everyone feel the need to carry me? I'm not an invalid you know."

He looked at me curiously. "Well, I can't speak for everyone, but personally, this gives me the chance to feel you up while also looking like a gentleman. It's win-win for me."

I shook my head, unable to prevent myself from grinning. "Well, I appreciate your honesty Jake."

"Anytime, Bells." He chuckled and kissed me on the forehead and carried me up the stairs to my bedroom. It was late, and I heard Charlie's snores from the hallway. Jacob set me down by my bed and closed my door. We quickly undressed, while I searched for some pajamas to wear. Jacob took off his shirt and took his turn in the bathroom to freshen up. After we finished up in the bathroom, we snuggled into bed. Jacob wore only a pair of cut-off sweats that I kept at my house for such a purpose. It wasn't safe for him to be sleeping in the buff with Charlie in the next room. I lay my head on his chest and he held me in his arms, running his fingers through my hair.

"So," I said. "Are you going to tell me what happened?"

He sighed. "Ugh, it was pretty crazy. Rachel was not too happy to hear that the "Cold Ones" really existed; let alone the fact that her brother turned into a giant dog whenever the occasion warranted. And, if you think that upset her, you should have seen her face when Sam and I explained that the annoying boy she knew as a child was also a wolf who had _claimed_ her as his soul mate."

"Wait a minute," I interrupted. "Didn't Rachel know about the stories?"

"Of course she did. But, remember Bells, none of us thought the stories were true until we started turning into wolves. We thought my Dad and the Elders were just crazy old men trying to hold on to tradition. Plus, Rachel and Rebecca never really took to our tribal traditions in the first place. When Mom died, they both tried their hardest to get off the Rez. I mean, Becky got married and moved to Hawaii the first chance she got. And Rach, well, she took her scholarship and ran. Think about it, like every other student, she gets time off, but she never visits home. They don't really relate to life on the Rez. At least, that's what I thought."

"So, now that she knows, what's she going to do?"

"Well, funny thing is Rachel's been keeping her own secrets. The reason she never really visited is because she was taking extra classes so that she could graduate early. She's going to finish her teaching credential next month. The reason she came home was to interview for a teaching position at the reservation school. They have an opening that starts next semester. She told me that she was tired of just going aimlessly through life without any connections. You were right, Bells. She has been lonely. She said she felt like she had nothing grounding her."

I smiled against Jacob's chest. "Well, it looks like it was fate. Rachel was lonely and needed something to give meaning to her life. And, well, Paul was headed nowhere fast and he needs someone like Rachel to straighten him out. It's pretty romantic when you think about it."

"Hmmff," was Jacob's reply.

"Did you just 'hmmff' me?"

"Bells, you're talking about imprinting like it's this romantic idea. Like fate has any bearing on the choices we make."

"So, what you don't believe in fate?"

"I believe in _us_," he replied. "Bells, I fell in love with you over time. It wasn't something that happened instantaneously. How could I? I didn't really know you. Sure, I'll admit that I was in _lust_ with you the moment I saw you on the beach with your friends. And by the time I crashed your prom, it had advanced to full-blown crushing on you. Hell, you were the star of every fantasy I had."

I couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed at the thought of a pre-wolf Jacob thinking about me while he did God knows what in the privacy of his bedroom.

"But honey," he continued. "I fell in love with you once we started hanging out; once I got to know how funny you were and how sweet and kind you were. I was a goner for you before I ever imprinted. How can Paul and Rachel compare to that?"

I patted him on the stomach. "Jacob, that's sweet, really it is. And, I love you with all my heart. But, who made you the expert on love?"

I cocked my eyebrow at him and he looked at me as though he was confused.

"Jake, Paul's drawn to her. And you said yourself that she's been lonely. Say it isn't fate. Maybe it's just a great, cosmic coincidence. My point is that you should let them be what they need to be for each other and let whatever's going to happen, happen. You never know, they could fall in love and get married and have tons of babies. And you and Paul could be brothers on a whole other level. Maybe you'll even become great friends."

Jacob snorted. "Ha, unlikely. But, I will say one thing. I've never been happier that Sam and I have two separate packs. I don't know what I'd do if I had to read Paul's mind now."

We both shivered in disgust at the mere thought of sharing Paul's thoughts. "Now, see, that's thinking positively Jake."

I turned over so that my back was against his chest and I let him pull me close, draping one arm across my hip, while his other arm moved underneath my neck for support. He held me close, warm in his heated embrace.

I had learned a lot in a year. Love wasn't always grand gestures and poetic declarations. We weren't Romeo and Juliet, Catherine and Heathcliff. We were just Jake and Bells. And, sometimes, love was more about the mundane; like cuddling on the couch watching TV, or cheering your partner on while he plays a game you care nothing about. And most of all, love was oftentimes just resting contentedly in each other's arms knowing that your love and trust is safeguarded.

"Goodnight Bells," Jacob whispered in my ear before kissing me on top of my head.

"Goodnight Jake," I mumbled as I fell into a blissful sleep.

**A/N: So, sorry for it being another filler chapter…but I needed to address a few things. I hope you liked it anyway. I made it extra long considering you had to wait so long. So, I have exciting news. Coming Full Circle won 4 Wolfpack Awards. 1) Most Suspenseful, 2) Most Original Plot, 3) 2****nd**** Place Best Lemon, 4) Best Imprint. I just wanted to thank each and every one of you who voted for me. It was so awesome to hear that I was nominated, and an honor to know that I had won. **


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do NOT!!!**

**A/N: As usual, I want to say thank you to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. All your kind words mean so much to me and really help motivate me to continue this story. Thank you so much. I'd also like to thank those who left anonymous reviews: Kandykane, murdster, Paola, Penny, Ashlie, lindaneale, Amy, BUnnI, and imprinted2aT. Thank you so much for your reviews.**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE **

I sat behind the cash register at Newton's Outfitters, waiting for my shift to end. It was mid-December, and business had picked up significantly in light of the upcoming holidays. I had severely underestimated the high demand for camping supplies as a suitable Christmas gift in the Pacific Northwest. I had been working since early that morning and was kept so busy with customers that I hadn't had a chance to rest. So, there I sat, rubbing my aching neck and wishing desperately that I could soak in a nice hot bath. Though, I suppose I'd be lying to myself if I said that it was _just_ work that had been stressing me out lately.

Things hadn't been going all that well since Thanksgiving. Paul imprinting on Rachel caused quite the stir. Billy was not pleased with the prospect of Paul's constant presence in his home. Like everyone else, Billy knew of Paul's less than stellar reputation when it came to women. But, seeing as how he was a tribal elder, he understood the inevitability of the imprint and soon welcomed Paul to his family with open arms.

Rachel had been rather accepting of her fate, which caught me by surprise. She interviewed for that teaching job on the reservation and got it. She then spent her remaining vacation getting to know Paul. Prior to their meeting at the beach, Rachel only knew Paul as an annoying neighbor kid who ruthlessly tormented her and her sister when they were growing up. Paul could be charming when he needed to be and he was completely devoted to pleasing Rachel. By the time she left to finish her final semester, a romance had bloomed between them.

As much as he tried to be understanding, Jacob was having a hard time accepting the new dynamic. He accepted that imprinting was a reality, but that didn't mean he had to like it. I knew from personal experience that Jacob didn't place much stock in the phenomenon. He came from a position where he had imprinted on someone with whom he was already in love. He was adamant that Paul wouldn't have thought twice about his sister if he hadn't imprinted. Despite Sam and Emily, and Jared and Kim's success stories, he felt Rachel deserved better. In a manner of speaking, I thought Jacob was kind of an imprint snob. It didn't help that while Rachel was back at school taking her finals, Paul spent every free moment he had with Billy or Jacob in an attempt to learn more about Rachel. Billy was pleased with the effort Paul was showing, but Jacob was annoyed by his constant, inane questions. One evening, Jacob relayed to me some of the questions Paul had been asking. _What's her favorite color? What's her favorite food? Does she ask about me when she calls? _I assured Jacob that Paul's curiosity simply showed how much he cared. But, Jacob only saw it as desperate and pathetic.

Rachel returned from school by the second week in December. She came home with all her personal belongings and moved back into her old room that she had shared with Rebecca. With her return, Jacob found that Billy's modest home had become rather crowded. Rachel's constant presence meant that Paul was over at all hours of the day. Rachel embraced the whole imprinting concept and though she was cautious about starting a romantic relationship so quickly, she welcomed Paul into her life with open arms. They spent hours together, getting to know one another. It was obvious to anyone who saw them, that love was growing, and growing fast.

Paul's constant presence frayed Jacob's nerves. It was bad enough, he thought, that Paul gave him no peace while Rachel was away. But now that Rachel was home, to stay, Paul had become a permanent fixture of the Black household. He strutted around the place like a cock in a henhouse. He was there in the morning when Jacob woke up. He was there at night when he went to sleep. He ate his food, used his bathroom, and as far as Jacob was concerned, he was using his sister to satisfy his own sadistic needs.

Jacob and Paul had never seen eye to eye. Paul was more of Sam and Jared's friend. When Jacob first joined the pack, he accepted Paul as his brother, but could never bring himself to actually _like_ him. Now that Paul had literally staked a claim on his sister, Jacob's casual dislike had turned into an all-consuming hate.

It was difficult for me to see that side of Jacob. He was naturally such a light-hearted, easy-spirited person; at least before he became a wolf. But, I'd seen the old Jacob return once we got back together. Despite the enormous pressure he was under, he was still full of joy and his brilliant smile decorated his beautiful face on a near daily basis. But, the situation with Rachel and Paul had put a damper on Jacob's good spirits. It was like a dark cloud was constantly hanging over his head. He was moody and irritable. He and Paul had even come to blows over petty arguments. It didn't help the situation that both Rachel and Billy sided with Paul; Rachel, of course, felt her brother was being immature and taking his frustrations out on her new man. Whereas, Billy just wanted peace in the house and knew that Paul was so whipped that he wouldn't fight if it wasn't for Jacob instigating the drama.

With no recourse, and no acceptable outlet for his frustrations, Jacob and I found ourselves arguing and bickering on a regular basis. He was short-tempered and easily annoyed, which made for a bad combination. His own friends found him difficult to be around. Quil always seemed to find excuses to hang out with Claire. And Embry now had Karen as his trusty alibi.

When Embry drove Karen home from that fateful football game in November, they really hit it off. Karen was a sweet girl and Embry was such a great guy. I was thrilled that they had found companionship in one another. There was no imprint to tie them together; just mutual attraction and the desire to be together. They were young, and no one assumed that they would run off and get married anytime soon, so it was nice to see Embry enjoying a love life for a change.

So, that left me, little old Bella Swan to deal with Jacob's wrath. It would almost be funny, if I didn't know how deeply upset he was about the whole situation. But, what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't support him? He had been my only friend when I refused to let go of the pain that I was left with when Edward went away. He could have told me to get over it, or to snap out of it a number of times. And, he would have been right to do so. But, he didn't. He let me work through my problems in my own, albeit dysfunctional way. And he stood by me, supporting me; waiting patiently for me to see the light. So, that was what I was going to do for him. _Come hell or high water_.

Of course, it didn't help that I found myself both moody and exhausted of late. I felt like I was fighting off another flu that just wouldn't go away. I was physically and emotionally drained. That combined with Jacob's perpetually pissed-off attitude was like a time bomb waiting to go off. Our fathers were on edge because they had never seen us arguing like that. Sure, they'd seen us miserable when we were apart, but nothing like the petty fights we couldn't seem to get enough of. They feared that our relationship would suffer, or worse, dissolve as a result. But, they didn't know the depth of our love. We'd fight and bicker, but we also had moments of clarity where all our feelings for each other were laid bare, and we were content; happy. We were going through a trying time together, but that was the keyword, we were _together_. In a sick, twisted way, I almost didn't mind the conflict, because at least that was normal for a couple to experience. I had already been in a relationship where things weren't talked out; where big issues were swept under the rug and ignored in the hope that they'd resolve themselves or just go away. I was done with that. Leave it to Jacob to provide me with _all_ aspects of a complete relationship; the good and the bad. _I'd have to remember to thank him for that; if I didn't kill him first._

So, there I sat, anxious to get home and away from the drudgery of a long work day. Jacob and I had made plans for dinner and a movie at my place; anything to get away from Paul. I eyed the clock on the wall, like a child waiting for the bell to ring, signaling the end of the school year. I was determined to lift Jacob's spirits, and that meant an attitude adjustment on my part. My moodiness only seemed to fuel his ire, and that left us both feeling miserable. I fully intended to remind him that we loved each other _more_ than we hated the current situation. Charlie was working a double shift that night. A nice night alone was just the thing we needed.

The front door dinged, signaling the arrival of a new customer. I had only a minute left of my shift, so I took off my vest and threw it under the counter, hoping to look inconspicuous. I didn't need to get suckered into helping out yet another customer when I should be walking out the door.

I walked into the employee's lounge to grab my purse and punch my time card. When I walked back onto the main floor, I said my good-byes to Mrs. Newton.

"Bye Bella. I'll see you on Monday."

"See you then," I said as I waved to her. I then turned around and proceeded to collide directly into a brick wall. At least, it had felt like a brick wall. I bounced back, stumbled, and was headed toward the floor when strong arms encircled my waist, steadying me on my feet.

I looked up at my rescuer and gasped in surprise. "Edward?"

He stared down at me with his trademark crooked grin. I was dumbstruck. Edward was the last person I expected to see at that moment. He'd been in Alaska since Halloween, and hadn't sent word as to when he was coming home. I took in his appearance and saw that he was clad in heavy boots, dark jeans, and a tight-fitting leather jacket that zipped up the center. His hair was more out of control than usual and it looked like he had been running his fingers through it compulsively. It almost looked like sex hair. I blushed at the thought.

All of that happened in a matter of seconds. I suddenly became painfully aware of Edward's hands around my waist and I pulled away form him adjusting my clothes.

"Hello Bella," he smirked, noting my flushed skin.

"Edward, what are you doing here? When did you get home?"

"I got home about an hour ago. And, I'm here because I wanted to spend some time with you; you know, as friends. I was hoping I could take you out to dinner."

"You mean tonight?"

"Well, yes," he replied. "If that's alright with you? I know its last minute…," he paused and ran his hand through his hair nervously. "I just really wanted to talk and…I'm sorry. What was I thinking? You probably already made plans. I should have called first. Of course, we'll just do this some other time."

I felt terrible. There he was, reaching out to me as his _friend_, and I was letting him hang there. He clearly needed someone to talk to and I didn't want to leave him in the lurch. I had told him on countless occasions that I would be there for him. I couldn't exactly go back on my word. I didn't want to. Edward was already turning to walk away when I hastily grabbed his arm.

"Edward, wait."

He turned around and eyed me curiously.

"I'd like to hang out with you tonight. I just need to make a call first."

He smiled brightly, clearly pleased that I had agreed to join him. I followed him outside and tried to ignore Mrs. Newton's curious stares. When we got outside I grabbed my cell phone and called Jacob. He answered on the first ring.

_Bells, is that you?_

"Hi Jake."

_Oh, thank God. I'm coming right over. I need to get the hell out of this house._

"Wait, that's why I was calling. There's a slight change in plans."

_Oh?_

"I'm sorry to do this to you, but Edward just got back, and he really needs someone to talk to. I won't be gone long, and we can still watch a movie, I just won't make it for dinner."

Silence.

"Jake, are you still there?"

_So, let me get this straight. You're flaking on me, so that you can spend the evening with your ex._

"It's not like that and you know it. I wouldn't go with him if I didn't think he could use a friend right now. You know I'd do that for anyone."

_Yeah, but in this case, __**anyone**__, happens to be Edward, who just a few weeks ago was willing to grope you against your will._

"Jake…"

_No, you know what? Go, hang out with Edward. Clearly he's more important to you right now._

"Jake, don't be like that. I…hello?"

I heard a click on the other end and realized with shock that Jacob had hung up on me. I shook my head in disbelief and thought, _that boy is going to be the death of me_.

"Trouble in paradise?" Edward had a smug look on his face, which quickly turned into an uneasy frown when the full force of my glare fell on him.

"Not a word, Edward. I'm not in the mood!"

"Of course, sorry," he mumbled.

I took the keys to the Volvo out of my purse and started walking towards my car. I turned around when I noticed that Edward wasn't following me. He stood in front of his sleek, super-fast motorcycle; the same one he bought in hopes that I would want to ride with him. Well, I thought, that explained why his hair was extra messy when he showed up. He retrieved a jacket and an extra helmet from the back of the bike and held them out to me.

"I haven't decided on a new car yet, and the Vantage is a bit ostentatious. I thought you might want to go for a ride with me. I know how much you love riding. I brought the jacket and helmet I bought for you. I thought it might be fun. Unless…well, if you have to ask Jacob's permission…"

"Why would I have to do that?" I seethed. "He's not _you_."

I realized it was a low blow, but I felt overwhelmed and I lashed out at him. I was upset with Jacob and Edward wasn't making my life any easier. I already felt horribly guilty. After all, I had cancelled my plans with Jacob to accommodate him and I felt like he was taking advantage of me. I didn't mean to be cruel, but my temper was short.

"I'm sorry Bella. That was uncalled for. I…"

"It was, but, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I'm sorry too."

He nodded and smiled nervously. "So, would you like to go for a ride then?"

I looked at Edward, who to anyone else would appear absolutely mouthwatering. I knew he understood his power over the opposite sex, but I wondered if he knew what that particular outfit would do to them. Then I remembered the time I tried on the very leather jacket in his hands, when he said I looked _sexy_. That coupled with the fact that I'd be wrapped tightly around his body told me that taking a ride with him was probably the worst idea imaginable. I didn't want to give him any ideas, or lead him on in any way. Besides, riding motorcycles was something that Jacob and I did together. I knew it was a bit dramatic, but I felt like it would be an act of betrayal if I rode with Edward.

I didn't want to hurt his feelings, so I cited the cold weather as a valid excuse. "Edward, it's really too cold to go riding, even with the jacket. How about I just drive?"

Edward couldn't conceal his disappointment, but smiled and nodded anyway. "Well, here," he motioned towards the trunk. When I opened it, he placed my helmet and jacket inside. "You never did take these over to Jacob's. I really want to make sure you're safe."

I didn't know what to say. We were both clearly uncomfortable with each other. I simply nodded, closed the trunk, and got into the driver's seat. Edward got in after me, his leather jacket unzipped and revealing a tight fitting v-neck shirt underneath. His scent, that had always drawn me in, permeated the car's cabin. It was distracting.

"So, where would you like to eat?"

"Oh, well, I think I'd like to just get a quick bite at the diner, if that's okay?"

"Of course, Bella. I'm not picky." He smiled disarmingly, and I couldn't help but laugh. His little joke had cleared the tension and immediately set me at ease.

I started the car and headed out to the local diner; Charlie's home away from home if I wasn't around. We drove in silence for a few minutes, listening to the radio. I noticed Edward's graceful fingers nervously tapping his knees.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked.

He smiled sheepishly. "Nothing, it's just…this is really strange."

"What's strange?" I asked, taking my eyes off the road briefly to look at him.

"This," he replied, "is strange. It's so weird to be in the passenger seat while you're driving my…_this_ car. I feel like I don't know what to do with my hands." He illustrated that fact by running his hands through his hair repeatedly. I took one look at him and chuckled seeing that regardless of what he did to it, it always ended up looking wilder and more untamed. In other words, it was perfection.

"Yeah, I suppose it is kind of weird, especially since you practically gave me the car."

"That's not true. You paid for it. You own it fair and square."

"Right, a whole five dollars!"

He chuckled. "That was Alice's idea. I was going to get a new car anyway. And, you really needed something to drive. It just made sense. Besides, it didn't really _feel_ like my car anymore."

He sounded upset. I looked at him questioningly, but he turned away from me, eyes focused out his window. I wondered where his mood-swing came from. Then my mind flashed back to the night when Edward caught Jacob and me on the hood of this very car. I blushed immediately and kept my eyes trained solely on the road ahead until we got to the restaurant.

After we were seated and placed our orders, a burger and fries for me and a token coke for Edward, we were left with an uncomfortable silence. It felt so strange to be in such close proximity to him and not know what to say. It reminded me of one of our first real conversations together in the high school cafeteria. We had asked questions back and forth in an attempt to get to know one another in light of the obvious attraction between us. There was a time when we could talk about books, authors, music and philosophy. It saddened me that, there we were, almost two years later, and we were struggling to find something to talk about. Our relationship hadn't progressed much at all.

Edward's eyes were trained on the condensation dripping down his glass. While his attention was otherwise occupied, I scoped out the other diners. The young waitress who served us was ogling Edward shamelessly, as she talked with the cook. What once was annoying to me, I now found amusing. Edward was beautiful; he knew it, but he didn't care. That only made him all the more attractive to the opposite sex. I would know after all.

My discomfort increased with every passing moment of silence. I opened my mouth to speak just as Edward opened his.

"New look?" He asked in an attempt to start a conversation.

I was confused by his question. I followed his gaze and looked down at my hair, which I had tied into a long braid that morning.

"Oh, no, it's just that my hair is getting so long that I don't know what to do with it anymore. It's getting out of control. I'm actually thinking about cutting it."

"No!" Edward practically yelled, startling me. A few of the diner's patrons glared over, annoyed by Edward's loud outburst.

"What the hell, Edward?" My voice was a harsh whisper.

"I'm sorry, it's just your hair is so beautiful. It would be a shame for you to cut it."

I furrowed my brows and stared at him. "Okay, Edward, you didn't ask me to dinner so we could talk about my hair. I think I've been pretty patient. But, I need to know. What were you doing in Alaska? Why were you there so long? Why was Alice so weird about it? And, why are you back now?"

Edward sat back in his chair, looking slightly amused by my rapid-fire questioning. "Bella," he sighed. "You sure know how to get to the point."

I smiled. "Well, I've become impatient in my old age." I reached across the table to hold his hand and was surprised when he recoiled from my touch.

"Sorry," he said sadly. "I'm just finding it hard to be around you after so long. I thought my being in Alaska would help, but I'm afraid it has made things worse. I love you Bella. I can't change that. I told you that vampires mate for life. I can't move on…"

"Edward, don't be ridiculous. My life is just a blink of an eye compared to your existence. You have _forever_. I know it's possible to love again, and I know you have a hard time accepting that. But, I feel like we're getting nowhere. We keep talking in circles. I don't see how we can be in each other's lives if it stays like this. You have to at least _try_ to move on."

"I have tried!" His voice was reduced to a harsh whisper. "What do you think I was doing in Alaska?" His face took on a haunted, pained, expression.

"I've done terrible things Bella; things I'm ashamed of, things you'd be ashamed of."

"Edward, you're scaring me. What did you do? What could be so bad?"

He sighed heavily, taking a deep, unnecessary breath. "I went to Alaska to get over you Bella. But, I stayed because of Tanya."

My breath caught in my throat and my heart rate accelerated at the mere mention of Tanya's name. When Edward had first told me about her, I couldn't get over the fact that he had the affections of a fellow vampire, but wanted me instead. Then, when I first saw her, broken and alone due to the loss of her two sisters, even then I couldn't believe the beauty before my eyes. Tanya highlighted every inadequacy I ever felt when I was with Edward. She was stunning, regal; a beauty that rivaled Rosalie's. And, more importantly, she was a vampire who was interested in Edward. She was his equal in a way that I never was. I didn't have a claim to Edward anymore, nor did I want one. But, the selfish part of me died just a little inside to know that Edward had sought comfort in Tanya's arms.

"It was stupid of me," he continued. "I've known she's had feelings for me for decades. I've read it in her thoughts whenever I was near her. I'd even tried to give her a chance before I met you, but I just didn't share those feelings. But, I was in so much pain after Alec and Jane left. The sick, masochistic side of me thought that if I could have that time with you, if I could remind you of what it was like to be together, that you'd come back to me. When I saw you with Jacob that night in Port Angeles, I knew how blind I had been. I went to Alaska to find some solace. Tanya happened to be more than willing to offer it to me. So, we embarked on an experimental relationship of sorts. She was familiar…_comfortable_."

I gulped nervously, not sure if I wanted to hear more. I finally understood how painful it must be for him to be able to glean some of the more intimate details of my relationship through Jacob's thoughts. In that moment, I got a glimpse of what Edward felt everyday he saw me in Jacob's arms. And it felt terrible. I managed to focus back on the subject at hand and asked, "If things were going so great, why was Alice reacting the way she was?"

"I said things with Tanya were comfortable. I didn't say they were great. We were both mourning the loss of people we loved. She lost her sisters, and I lost you. We decided to try to fill the void for each other; to disastrous effects, may I add. Anyway, Alice was upset because she didn't see anything positive coming out of it. After all, Tanya's not the girl from her visions. In fact, she saw Tanya getting hurt even more. But, honestly, I was beyond the point of caring."

My eyes widened in shock. It was so odd to hear Edward speak of someone else's feelings in such a callous way. I knew him as a loving, caring person; not someone capable of using someone else for his own needs.

"Tanya knew where I stood, but she assured me she didn't care. She knew I could never love her like she wanted. But, we tried to make something work based solely on need and loss. Alice left with the rest of my family because she couldn't bear to watch us go down in flames. But, I didn't care. Tanya and I spent every moment together. I poured all the love I had for you into her. It wasn't real, but it was all I had, and I was willing to take it. I'm not proud of what I did."

The desperation in his voice had me in tears. I asked myself, _would he ever be whole again?_

"I left this morning after things had already gone too far, and the damage had been done. Whenever I was with her, I pictured your face. I ignored her growing feelings for me and disregarded her thoughts. When I was in her arms, I felt your warm, supple skin pressed against me."

He had my undivided attention. I was torn between not wanting to hear another word, and curious to know what he thought was 'going too far.'

"Last night…I gave in. And in a moment of…well…let's just say that it wasn't Tanya's name that fell off my tongue."

I gasped, covering my mouth with my hand. I felt my entire body flush and my face burning with embarrassment. Edward lowered his eyes in shame.

"Bella," he said in a pained voice. "I'm sorry. This is a completely inappropriate topic of conversation. I…"

"No, Edward. Don't be ridiculous. We've shared a lot together. If we're going to make this work; if we're going to be _friends_, then you should be able to tell me anything." I tried to sound convincing, even though my heart was crying out. I felt horrible and conflicted. I was completely in love with Jacob. Yet, the selfish, basest part of my soul liked the idea that Edward had only ever wanted me. It was unfair, and completely wrong, but there it was, staring me in the face. I was hurting because Edward had been all too willing to be physical with Tanya, when he had denied me at every turn. It was humbling to say the least.

"So," I said, my lips trembling. "What happened?"

"It wasn't good. She was furious, and rightly so. I tried to apologize, but she wouldn't hear it. She told me to leave, but not before yelling and screaming about how I'd used her and that…" He paused. His jaw was clenched and only after a real effort was he able to continue. "She blamed you for ruining her life."

"_Me?_ But, I've never done…"

"Bella, love, of course you haven't done anything. This is my fault entirely. If I hadn't brought you into my world, none of this would have happened. She's blaming your very existence for her sisters' actions that led to their demise. And she's blaming you for the fact that I could never love her."

"No wonder Alice has been acting so strange lately," I mumbled under my breath, knowing he heard me.

"I've ruined everything Bella. I'm so sorry."

"What do you have to be sorry for Edward? You're free to do as you please. You were lonely. You needed to feel a connection with someone. I get that. I don't agree with your methods, but that just proves how human you are; even if you think you're only a monster. You've known Tanya for ages. I'm sure this whole thing with Tanya will blow over. She just needs some time to…"

"No, you don't understand. Carlisle has worked so hard to convince the remaining Denali clan to side with us against the Volturi. My actions may have not only lost us a valuable ally, but they may have gained us an enemy."

I sat back in my chair, completed deflated. That was _so_ not where I thought this evening would go. I thought it was bad enough that I had to hear details of Edward's love life. _God help me, it was hard to even think those words_. But, to be faced with the thought that his actions may have gained an enemy in the process was just too much to fathom. I felt anxious, like I was experiencing the onset of a panic attack. Edward, sensing my distress, reached across the table and grasped both of my hands in his.

"Bella," he said sternly. I focused on his golden eyes. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you. You're going to live a long life with Jacob. You're going to die an old, happy woman, safe in her bed, surrounded by her children and grandchildren. I'll see to that." He squeezed my hands tighter.

"You know, I've never been more grateful that you chose Jacob. Unlike me, he can give you everything you _need_, and he can still protect you. I mean, have you looked at yourself lately? You're positively _glowing_."

I blushed, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. He released his hold on one of my hands to caress my cheek. To the outside observer, it would look like the gentle touch of a lover. But, I saw the look in his eyes. There was undying love and devotion mixed with resignation and acceptance. He was ready to be my friend.

"Bella, I've been an ass. If my time away from you has taught me anything, it's that you're happy. And, I'm truly happy for you. Nothing is going to stand in the way of your happiness; not the Volturi, and not Tanya. I'll lay down my own life before I let that happen."

A single tear fell down my cheek, only to be wiped away by his thumb. "Everything's going to be fine. You'll see."

We left the restaurant shortly after that. I couldn't bring myself to finish my meal. I had so much to process, that I lost my appetite. I drove us back to Newton's so that Edward could pick up his bike. As we pulled into the parking lot, Edward asked, "So, are you ever going to tell me what's going on between you and Jacob?"

He seemed genuinely concerned. My mind was so busy processing Edward's revelations that I'd completely forgotten about my argument with Jacob that he had overheard. I parked the car and turned off the engine. "It's nothing."

"Bella," he sighed. "This whole friendship thing works both ways. You can talk to me too." He paused, his eyes narrowing in anger. "Is he treating you badly? If he is, I swear I'll…"

"No, of course not. It's nothing like that. Jacob's upset because his sister Rachel came home from school, and…well…Paul imprinted on her."

"Oh," he replied, as if I had just told him the day of the week. Then his eyes widened. "_Oh_…I remember reading his thoughts when we all trained together. Not the purest of minds."

I chuckled. "That's putting it lightly."

"I see. So, I assume that Jacob isn't taking to this new development well."

"You've got that right. With Rachel back at home, Paul is over there all the time. I guess Jacob's finding that his house has shrunk. He's been on edge. So, we've been arguing a lot lately about stupid, petty things."

I nodded his head. "Well, it makes sense when you think about it."

"What does?"

"Well, Jacob's an Alpha male, and he's got another aggressive male practically living in his house. It makes sense that that would be a volatile situation. I'm sure Jacob can hardly help his temper, especially since his instinctual way to deal with it would be to fight the challenging wolf. It's all about dominance."

"Huh, I never thought of it that way. I also never thought I'd here you defending Jacob."

He smiled ruefully. "Bella, I'm a complex person. I'm just full of surprises."

We both chuckled. I felt truly comfortable with him for the first time in my life. Our relationship as it then stood, felt right. Even when my feelings for him were all-consuming, I could never say I was truly comfortable with him, because I never felt worthy of his love. I always felt that at a moment's notice, he would realize that he could do better. But, there, in the car that held so many memories for us, I felt truly at peace with him. We could be ourselves; we could be friends.

"It's not so much that I'm defending Jacob, as I just want you to be happy. But, I'm telling you, if he ever hurts you, I'll tear him apart!"

I smiled, my eyes widened in amusement. Even as a friend, Edward wanted to be my knight in shining armor. That was just who he was.

"I just want you to know that I'd do anything for you," he added.

"I know."

After a few more moments of silence, Edward got out of the car. He leaned in against the open window and said, "Goodnight Bella. Be safe."

I drove home with a lot on my mind. I tried to wrap my head around the fact that Edward had entered into a physical relationship with Tanya in a matter of weeks, when he denied me for over a year. And he actually _loved_ me!Then I realized that he hadn't exactly specified what a physical relationship for him actually entailed. I knew where he stood with his morals, but loneliness can change things. Then I felt guilty for feeling slighted, because, after all, I had Jacob who loved me and worshipped me. Who did Edward have? I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't deny my feelings. It hurt. But, considering that I was the one who broke up with Edward, I felt I deserved to hurt.

Then I started to feel guilty for the way Jacob and I had behaved in recent weeks. Edward brought up a valid point. Jacob had a lot more to deal with than just the fact that Paul was dating his sister. He had to deal with a _wanna-be_ Alpha-male invading his territory. No wonder he had been so pissed off lately. The poor guy had no way to express his rage other than by killing Paul. And, that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. The tribal elders would most assuredly frown on that kind of behavior anyway.

Just as I decided to cut Jake some slack, I pulled into my driveway to find him sitting on the front porch, waiting for me. Jacob had put up with my craziness when Edward left me. I put up with his crap lately, because I felt I owed it to him. After all, turn about is fair play. But, we needed to figure out a way to vent our frustrations, without hurting each other's feelings. And, he had hurt me when he yelled at me over the phone in front of Edward.

I killed the engine and got out of the car. Dinner had only taken a couple of hours, so it was still relatively early in the evening. The cold air seeped into my skin as I wrapped my arms across my chest, willing my jacket to keep me warm. Jacob was wearing jeans, shoes, and a long-sleeved t-shirt. He and the rest of the wolves had taken to wearing warmer clothes to blend in with the rest of the population. They figured that running around shirtless in the middle of the summer was one thing, but prancing around half-naked with snow on the ground was bound to raise suspicion. Though, Jacob would probably argue that there was never _prancing_ of any kind. Of course, wearing warmer, more constricting clothing only added to his constant crankiness.

I stood in front of Jacob, who remained seated, but stared up at me with his puppy dog eyes. I wasn't going to let him off that easily though. I pursed my lips, buying myself some time to think of what to say when he spoke.

"I'm an asshole."

Okay, that wasn't what I expected. It took me off guard. I didn't know what to say to that, though I needn't have bothered, because he continued, oblivious to my shock.

"I was immature, and rude, and _so_ wrong."

I bit my lip and looked at him lovingly, but I still couldn't bring myself to say anything. My arms fell limply to my sides, and I unwittingly took a step closer to him. He opened his legs wider to accommodate my close proximity. His hands found their way to my hips and I immediately felt his warmth spread through my body.

"Not enough, huh?" He asked sheepishly. "Alright," he said, squeezing me tighter. "I was wrong, you were right. I'm dumb, you're smart. I'm ugly, and you're a stone-cold fox…" I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped my lips. "And, I'm sorry," he finished, resting his head against my stomach.

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and cradled his head against my belly. I stroked his hair and said, "Alright, I forgive you. But, this isn't over. We've been fighting a lot lately, and I don't like it."

"I know," he sighed. "I've been a real jerk. Paul's got me so angry, and I just keep taking it out on you."

"Yeah, well, I've been pretty moody myself lately."

"Mmm, I've noticed," he replied absently.

I slapped him on the shoulder, ignoring the stinging that immediately affected my palm.

"Sorry," he backtracked, with his arrogant grin on his face. "It's just that…well, why do you think that is?"

"Gosh Jake, I don't know," I replied sarcastically. "Maybe you just bring it out in me."

He nodded solemnly. "That's fair."

I shook my head in exasperation. He hugged me tighter to him, sighing contentedly. I could be gone for an hour, a week, or a year and his embrace would always feel like a 'welcome home.' I melted into his arms and smiled knowing that, like always, we'd be okay.

"So, do you want to talk about it?"

"Huh?" I asked, confusion written all over my face.

He looked into my eyes knowingly. He could read me like no other. "Something happened at dinner that upset you. And, I'm not talking about you and me."

Though I had tried to hide it, Jacob saw right through me. I was still trying to process Edward's relationship with Tanya, and I didn't know what to say about it at that point. But, I knew Jacob wouldn't relent until I told him everything. "I don't really want to talk about it right now. Later, okay?"

He nodded and gave me a look that said he was going to hold me to that promise. "Well, do you still want to watch a movie?"

"Yes," I replied. "I just want to snuggle with you on the couch and forget about everyone else; just you and me."

"Hmm, I'd like that. Can I just ask you a favor first, you know, before we get all cozy?"

"Sure, anything."

"Well, could you take a shower first? You stink like vampire."

He barked out a laugh when he saw the annoyed look on my face. I rolled my eyes at him and pushed past him to the front door and walked inside. He followed right behind me, still laughing. I headed directly for the stairs, while he walked into the living room, grabbed the remote control, and stood in front of the television flipping through the channels looking for something to watch. I looked at him from across the room and smiled at how happy he made me. Sure, he was cocky and infuriating at times, but he was also loving and confident with an incredible ability to make me laugh.

I put my foot on the first step when I thought of something that had bothered me earlier.

"Jake," I called out.

"Yeah," he replied. His gaze fell on me. My hands reached up to the long braid of hair draped across my shoulder. I fingered the silky hair tied off at the end.

"Jake, I was thinking of cutting my hair."

"Really?" He asked.

"Yeah, what do you think about that?"

He shrugged, looking me up and down. "Honestly Bells, I think you'd look beautiful with a shaved head. If you want to cut your hair, I'd say go for it."

He turned his attention back to the television, and I couldn't help but smile at his answer. He reminded me on a daily basis that I made the right choice. I thought it was about time that I reminded him just how much he meant to me.

"So, I'm going to take that shower now."

"Oh, okay," he replied. His eyes and ears were focused on the sports scores.

"Well," I called out, the slightest hint of seduction in my voice. "Aren't you going to join me?"

The remote clattered to the floor and his eyes hungrily pierced through me. A devilish grin dominated his face. "I thought you'd never ask," he said, as he ran towards me. In one swift move he tossed me over his shoulder and ran up the stairs. I never did make it to the shower that night.

**A/N: Okay, so by now you've realized that that was an Edward-heavy chapter. Sorry about that. All I can say is that it was necessary. I hope you liked it. Can't wait to hear from you. **


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do NOT!!!**

**A/N: I included a long author's note at the end. But, before you get to the story…I just have to thank my wonderful anonymous reviewers. Since I can't respond to you individually, Id like to thank you all now for your wonderful reviews: Nicola, lindaneale, Kandykane, Brittany, Paola (You're so wonderful.), Charlotte, Naja, Nikki, passerby, Thally, anne, Anonymous Aussie, Luvofwolves, and Bella&Jacob4ever. And, of course, thank you to EVERYONE who has left such wonderfully encouraging reviews for the last chapter. I really do appreciate each and every one of you.**

**CHAPTER THIRTY **

It was a good day. It was Sunday and Christmas was less than a week away. I was in a great mood, mainly because after weeks of fighting off various flu-like symptoms, I was starting to feel better. Better; not great. It had been like that though. I'd have a few days of feeling lethargic followed by a day when I was filled with energy. I made it a point to take advantage of such days, because I never knew when I'd get another one.

As I got dressed that morning, my mind wandered to The Cullens and what they were doing. After our dinner together, Edward had made himself scarce. On the surface, it seemed as though he was being respectful of Jacob and keeping his distance. But, I knew he kept his distance more out of embarrassment for the way he behaved with Tanya. I'll admit that the idea of Edward being with anyone was a lot to get used to. But, I held no ties to him anymore, and it didn't matter to me if he had moved on. Edward, of course, being his overdramatic self, didn't see things that way. He wasn't ready to face me again, and I wasn't going to push it.

Upon Edward's arrival home, Alice had encouraged Rosalie and Emmett to visit Tanya in Denali for some damage control. After they spent a couple of days with her, they were convinced that Tanya had simply overreacted to Edward's rejection and that she held no ill will towards me. She and the rest of the clan were still completely behind Carlisle's decision to stand up against The Volutri when they made their move against me. According to Emmett, Tanya had moved on rather quickly and had returned to seducing half the ruggedly handsome population of Alaska. As far as they could see, the fiasco with Tanya was simply a crisis averted.

Carlisle and Esme were still traveling the world in search of allies to fight with us against The Volturi. They were staying in Ireland with some close friends of Carlisle's. After he heard about Edward's fling, he invited the whole family out to Ireland so that they could spend the holidays together, overseas. And so, with warm wishes and too tight embraces, The Cullens all left Forks with the promise to return after the New Year.

Although I would miss them, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least partially relieved. I'd never spent a Christmas with The Cullens. But, knowing how generous they were on a daily basis, and how much they loved doting on me, I feared the spectacle they would make of Christmas would be too much. Granted, I knew I couldn't avoid the inevitable forever. But, I was still grateful for the relaxing reprieve, especially since that year would be my first Christmas with Jacob and I didn't want to have to worry about the ghosts of my past.

I was thrilled and anxious to make that Christmas a memorable one. The previous year had been my first Christmas in Forks since I was a child. And, I couldn't remember a thing about it. I was the living dead and fully immersed in feelings of loss while wallowing in self-pity after Edward had left me. I can only imagine the pain I had put Charlie through.

Instead of feeling guilty over the mistakes I couldn't take back, I decided to make this Christmas the best Christmas possible. And, as far as I was concerned, I was half way there in making that happen. Jacob and I had decided on limiting our gifts to one another to no more than twenty dollars. If it were strictly up to me, I would have opted to forego presents altogether, because being with Jake was present enough. But, I knew that wouldn't fly with Jacob's giving nature. I was curious as to what he would come up with, seeing as how limited our budget was. I had no doubt his gift would be something thoughtful, and therefore, perfect. Though, I thought he had a lot to compete with, seeing as how I had come up with _the_ perfect gift for him.

I had spent the previous week working on a project with Leah. I had told her that I wanted to give Jacob something simple, meaningful, and something that I could make with my own hands. She had brightened immediately and suggested that I make him a Quielute bracelet. It was an intricately woven bracelet that was the Quielute equivalent to a promise ring. The idea of making a physical representation of my commitment to Jacob was appealing on many levels. But, most importantly, it was a way of showing my love for him in his own language, so to helped me buy all the materials I would need and I got to work on it immediately. I only needed a few more days and I'd be finished. Of course, I also had to worry about keeping Jacob's prying eyes away.

On top of all that, I decided to host Christmas dinner at our house. Whether out of foolishness or delusions of grandeur, I invited the Clearwaters, which by extension meant Jack as well. And, of course, now that Rachel was home, having The Blacks over also meant including Paul. I had high hopes for the success of our family dinner, especially since I had Jake's solemn vow that he would do his best not to rip Paul's head off over the cranberries and stuffing.

So, since I had the day to myself, I decided to fill it running errands. I first dropped off a roll of film to be developed at the pharmacy. I was excited to see the pictures. The day before, Jacob had borrowed Billy's truck and took me and Charlie out to cut down our own Christmas tree. We had trudged through the snow bundled in hats, gloves, and scarves with a thermos full of hot chocolate. Jacob looked adorably uncomfortable in his own knit hat and scarf, which I insisted he wear for appearance's sake while we were out with my father.

I had brought my camera along to mark the occasion of a new family tradition, and to document more of my relationship with Jacob. I thought it would be nice to send some pictures to Renee as well. I missed her terribly, and I wanted her to share in my happiness, even if she was far away. So, I took pictures of Charlie and Jacob arguing over the best way to cut down the tree. Once the tree was cut and loaded into the truck, Charlie had taken over as photographer. I was sure that he got some great pictures of Jacob and my impromptu snowball fight, not to mention the various snow angels we made. It was a wonderful day; one that I would never forget.

After I dropped off the film, I decided to get a hair cut. I'd been complaining about my hair for awhile. Luckily, the salon in town was affiliated with a national charity. Not only did I get a great haircut that left my hair in soft layers framing my face, but I was able to donate almost a foot of it to a charity that made wigs for cancer patients. I left the salon feeling lighter and freer than I had in a while. I could feel confidence in every step I took, and I was elated by it.

I went back to the pharmacy to pick up the film and since I was already there, my birth control prescription. I stood in the middle of the pharmacy going through the pictures with a smile on my face. I laughed at Charlie's expression in the picture where Jacob dragged the tree, a little too easily, towards the waiting truck. I also admired Charlie's artistic eye in some of the shots. He captured one moment I didn't even realize he was privy to. There was a great shot of Jacob and I, looking into each other's eyes, our noses a mere inch apart. We were laughing uncontrollably, our eyes small slits, our mouths open in wide grins, completely unaware of our audience. I chuckled to myself remembering that the photo was taken right after I had slipped on a patch of ice, and Jacob had caught me right before I hit the ground. The looks on our faces were priceless. The love he had for me shone in his sparkling eyes and it took my breath away. I decided then and there to frame a copy of the photo and to give it to Jacob as part of his Christmas present.

I was grinning from ear to ear, admiring the rest of the pictures when a soft voice called out my name.

"Bella?"

I looked up to find Angela Weber coming down my aisle with a huge smile on her face. I smiled in return and embraced her, surprised by my own show of affection.

"Angela, what are you doing here?"

"I'm home for Christmas break. My mom asked me to pick up a few things for her, so I thought I'd get out of the house. The twins haven't left me a moment's peace since I got home. I can't blame them though, I've missed them too. But, hey, enough about me. Look at you!"

She took a step back and looked me over making me blush. "You look great. Did you get a haircut?"

I pulled nervously on my newly shorn locks. "Yeah, I just got it done. It was getting so long. I don't know though. I'm not used to it being this short."

"Oh please," she replied exasperatedly. "You could shave your head and it would look great. So, tell me, where are you going to school? Did you end up going to Dartmouth?"

If Jessica Stanley had been the one to ask me that question, I probably would have felt defensive and guarded. But, Angela was a caring person who was genuinely interested in what I had been doing with my life since we saw each other last. "No," I answered confidently. "I decided to take the semester off. Things were a bit…_confusing_ after graduation. I needed some time to figure out my priorities. Dartmouth was never really my idea anyway. By the time I figured out what I really wanted, it was too late to enroll anywhere. So, I'm going to Peninsula College in the spring. I'm actually really excited to get back into the swing of things."

"That's great Bella," she smiled. I realized at that moment that I missed having Angela in my life. She was a warm, sincere person, and a great friend. She asked questions because she cared and not just to be polite.

We engaged in a long conversation after that. I walked with her around the store while she shopped for her mother. She was enjoying school in Seattle. I learned that she was studying Photojournalism. She was passionate about the subject and I could tell it made her blissfully happy, which she needed since she had broken up with Ben shortly before the winter break.

"I can't believe it. You and Ben were so happy."

"Yes, we really were," she conceded. "But, we just kind of grew apart. I still love him, and care for him more than I can say. But, we both just realized that it wasn't enough. We just wanted different things."

My heart broke for her, and my expression must have shown it because she squeezed my arm reassuringly. "Don't worry about me, Bella. I'm alright, really. You never forget your first love, you know? But, you're not always meant to be with them. That's why it's called 'First' love."

Truer words were never spoken. I stood there in complete awe of Angela's strength in the face of heartbreak. Unlike me, she accepted her break-up with maturity and wisdom.

"So," she said, in an attempt to change the subject. "How's Edward?"

The question was innocent enough. But, I realized that I hadn't really talked to anyone outside of those directly involved in the break-up. It was strange to talk to someone who saw my relationship from the beginning, even if she didn't have a clear view of _everything_ that went on.

"Oh, well," I fidgeted uncomfortably, picking at the lint coming off of my scarf. "Actually, Edward and I broke up too."

She stopped in her tracks and eyed me nervously; like I would fall apart at any moment. I couldn't blame her for that reaction though. She was just reacting based on my past behavior. Her eyes conveyed nothing but sincerity and concern. I realized sadly, that she expected me to behave like I had when Edward had left. She had every right and expectation to think that of me. But, I had to admit that it bothered me that I was seen as so weak, even if that perception was entirely my fault.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Bella. Are you…"

"No, Angela, really it's not like that. Um, I actually broke up with Edward a little after graduation. It…it just wasn't working anymore."

She squeezed my hand reassuringly and listened intently. I felt compelled to bare my soul to her; though I knew I'd have to leave out the more supernatural factors.

"We just had a lot of issues with trust. I realized that I took him back way too quickly and tired to act like nothing had happened when he went away. But, I was lying to myself. So much had already changed. I had changed. I couldn't keep ignoring the fact that…"

"…you were in love with Jacob?" She finished for me, with a questioning tone.

I stopped in my tracks. "How-how did you know?"

She smiled brightly. "Let's just say I'm pretty perceptive. That day you helped me with my graduation invites, I knew."

"But, _I_ didn't even know then."

She sighed. "I highly doubt that Bella. But, sometimes we just don't see what's right in front of our eyes. I knew you were in love with him, but I knew you still loved Edward. You seemed pretty confused and overwhelmed by it all. And, I didn't want to influence your decision. It wasn't my place to say anything. Besides, what's that saying, 'There is none so blind as she who will not see?' You weren't ready for the truth."

I chuckled at Angela's astute observation. "You're not wrong," I replied.

"So," she hedged playfully. "How are things with Mr. Tall, Dark, and Gorgeous? Are you happy?"

I sighed dreamily, but before I could reply, Angela interrupted me.

"Oh, that was a rhetorical question Bella. Anyone who sees you can tell that you're happy. You're practically glowing."

I eyed her strangely, because she wasn't the first person to say something like that to me. Edward had said that the night he took me to dinner. I blushed happily, unashamed that my outward appearance was directly affected by Jacob's love for me.

"Shoot!" Angela looked from her watch and back to me with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry Bella; I really need to get back home. Listen, it was really great talking to you. Keep in touch, okay?"

She hugged me good-bye and I replied easily, "I will, Angela. Take care." As I watched her walk away, I knew my words were not empty. I realized belatedly, that I was missing a friend like Angela in my life; someone apart from the vampires and werewolves with whom I associated. Growing up, I had always considered Renee to be my best friend. Moving to Forks had led us to grow apart, namely, because I had to hide so much from her. Then, Alice had taken on the role of best friend, almost seamlessly. But, she left. And, I had to admit that it wasn't just Edward who needed to rebuild trust with me.

Jacob, aside from being my boyfriend, was my best friend. He was the one person I could tell anything to; who wouldn't judge me, who would love me unconditionally. Jacob was my world. I loved him with every fiber of my being. But, I feared that my all encompassing love for him would throw my life out of balance. I'd made that mistake with Edward; first when we started dating, and again when he left me. The few friends I'd made when I moved to town fell by the wayside when it came to Edward. And I had let them.

When Alice had thrown my graduation party, I complained because I didn't want to be the center of attention. But, truth be told, I was more afraid that no one would show up. And, of course, I would have been justified in thinking that way because, why would anyone show up for me; the girl who abandons friends for the first guy to look her way? I was a terrible friend.

I drove home after finishing my errands and walked into a cold, empty house. Charlie was working late and planned on watching a game at Billy's before he came home later that night. Jacob wouldn't be off of work for at least another hour. I thought briefly about making a nice hot meal so that we could eat when he arrived. But, I immediately rejected that idea, as my day of activities had taken more out of me than I had originally thought. I figured Jake and I could order take out when he got there, because I didn't feel much like cooking.

I went up to my room, cranking the thermostat to high on my way. My room felt like a freezer. I bundled up with an extra sweater and socks while I got under my covers to work on my journaling. After about thirty minutes or so, I felt flushed and overheated. My room had gone from freezing to sweltering in no time. I peeled off my various layers of clothing until I was left only in a flimsy tank top and a pair of my boy-short underwear. I flipped onto my stomach and picked up one of my trusty novels to fill the time.

I must have been thoroughly engrossed in the book, because I didn't even hear Jacob come in through the front door. He alerted me to his presence once he had already crawled on top of me and pinned my body down on my bed. I screamed in surprise, having never gotten used to his silent comings and goings. He supported the bulk of his weight on his forearms while he nuzzled into my neck, laughing at how well his joke played out.

"That's not funny, Jake!" I propped myself on my arms and craned my neck over my left shoulder, trying to get a good look at him. "You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"I nearly gave _you_ a heart attack?" he asked, incredulously. "Woman, have you seen what you're wearing? I mean, this flimsy excuse for a shirt, barely covers these," he said, as his large hands reached under me to grasp my breasts firmly. He kneaded the supple skin, his thumbs and forefingers gently pinching and tugging at my sensitive nipples. "And these," he said, letting go of my breasts and moving down my body so that he straddled the backs of my thighs. "These are just begging to be ripped off." He tugged at my panties to emphasize his point. I glared at him playfully.

"Don't you dare Jacob! I really like this pair."

He chuckled and looked at me strangely. "Bells," he said, looking curiously around the room. "Why does it feel like a sauna in here?"

"Oh," I giggled. "Well, I was cold, and you weren't here to keep me warm. I guess I've been kind of taking how hot you are for granted." I bit my lip, fully conscious of the double meaning in that.

He looked me up and down, smiling devilishly. "You were cold? Geez, I can't imagine why. I mean, come on Bells. You're practically naked in here. Put some clothes on if you're cold."

"But, I did," I whined. "When I got home, I cranked the heat up and got all snuggly. But, then I got too hot."

"Okay, then why didn't you just turn the heat off?"

"Because then I'd be cold."

I glanced back and saw that Jacob was having a hard time understanding my logic. But then his look changed and I realized that his mission of understanding had just lost out to his lust. He seductively worked down my body until I felt his hot breath near my thighs and the heat from his hands seeped directly onto my skin. I sighed happily, enjoying the attention he was paying my body. All of a sudden, I felt a sharp pinch on my butt and I yelped, my hands searching along my backside in an attempt to ease the pain.

"Did you just…bite me?" I cried in surprise. Jacob didn't even have the decency to hang his head in shame. Instead, he smiled wickedly, his expression literally dripping sex. He turned me over, a little roughly, and pressed his body to mine, taking my breath away.

"I'm sorry Bells," he whispered in my ear. His hands reached around me, cupping my butt and he pulled me even tighter against his body. I could feel his hardness straining against the zipper of his jeans. "But, I can't help it," he continued apologetically. "I mean, your _ass_ is just…I can't even explain it. It's like it's calling to me. You were just laying there, your butt all in the air and it was like you were _presenting_ or something. I guess the animal in me just couldn't resist." His voice was deep and husky and it sent shockwaves directly to my core. I had never felt sexier.

He leaned in and his lips immediately crashed down onto mine. His kisses were rough and devouring, and I couldn't help but respond in kind. My legs wrapped around his waist, my mind having ceded all control over my body the moment his tongue entered my mouth. As per usual, I was reduced to a veritable pile of goo whenever he held me in his strong arms. He broke the kiss to trail wet, open-mouthed kisses across my jaw and down my throat. His tongue circled my nipples through the thin material of my shirt, leaving wet heat in his wake.

He pulled away and sat up on his knees. I couldn't suppress the wanton moan that escaped at the loss of contact. Jacob smirked at me, feeding off the raw lust he must have seen in my eyes. He scrambled to relieve himself of his shirt and I sat up to admire the newly revealed muscled planes of his chest and stomach. I reached out to caress his smooth skin, leaning in to press my own kisses onto his burning flesh. His hands hung limp at his sides. He seemed content to watch my every move. His chest was at my eye level, so I leaned in closely and let my tongue dart out, swirling around his nipples. I eyed him from under my lashes and tried to give him the most seductive look I could muster.

He growled and in an instant, I was flat on my back with Jacob perched above me. His eyes were heavy-lidded with a desire that made me squirm with its intensity. His finger tips slowly brushed along the sliver of skin exposed between my shirt and panties. He then placed his hand flat on my stomach, heating me to the core. His hand then slowly moved up towards my chest, pushing my shirt up along the way.

He was driving me crazy. First he was hot, all ferocity and desire. Then, he was taking things slowly, relishing and savoring the feel of my skin and the moans of pleasure I was incapable of suppressing.

"Stop teasing, Jake," I whined pitifully.

"I will when you stop looking so damn hot when I do. Besides, consider it payback." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and crouched on his knees, leaving far too much space between our bodies. He rested his hands on his thighs, the picture of complete calm despite the raging hard-on in his pants. I sat up on my elbows and blew some stray hair out of my face.

"What's that supposed to mean," I grumbled.

"Oh, how quickly she forgets. Do you not remember the _incident_ at the Christmas tree farm?"

Of course I remembered. I had just hoped that he had forgotten. After all, he had looked so intoxicating with his dark skin and bright smile amidst the pure white snow. Despite the fact that Charlie had accompanied us, Jacob couldn't hide his intense longing for me in his eyes. As a result, I had to fight the urge to just take him then and there, onlookers be damned. Instead, I had compromised. When Charlie walked away to pay for the tree, I cornered Jacob and pushed him roughly into the nearest tree. I pulled him down into a passionate kiss while grinding my body against his. He had clearly let me manipulate him, because I wouldn't have been able to move him otherwise. But, that didn't stop the surprised look on his face at my vigorous advances. I had broken the kiss leaving us both breathless. But, the epitome of my wicked behavior came when I ran my hand down over the significant bulge in his jeans and nearly made him whimper at the contact. Then, with a sly smile, I had walked away, leaving a stunned Jacob practically panting against the tree. And, there I was back in my own bedroom, the tables having inevitably been turned. I couldn't help but feel even more excited at the thought of the effect I had on him.

"It's not so fun when you're the one suffering, is it Bells?" He smirked playfully. My eyes traveled the expanse of his exposed flesh and all I could think is that I wanted, no, needed to see, taste and touch every part of him. I sat up on my knees, kneeling in front of him. Our faces were eye level, as he was still crouched down. I reached for the button and zipper of his jeans and latched on before he had the chance to stop me.

"Aw, come on Jake, you know you love it." Before he could utter a flippant response, I pushed him with all my might so that he was lying flat on the bed. I scrambled to undo his pants and pulled them down his legs, not that he offered much protest. I was rewarded with a completely naked Jacob laying on my bed, his arousal at full attention. Rather than looking uncomfortable or feeling modest, Jacob simply lay there with his hands crossed behind his head, daring me with his eyes to proceed.

If my time with Jacob had taught me anything, it was that I was a sexual being. He helped me to feel comfortable in my own skin which in turn, made me feel stronger, smarter and sexier. In short, he made me feel like a woman and not like a naïve young girl. So, I accepted his challenge by tossing off my shirt and throwing it to the floor, allowing my breasts to bounce free from their constraints. Though the smile never left his face, I saw Jacob's gaze linger on my shapely breasts before focusing once again on my eyes.

I crawled towards him, letting my breasts sway tantalizingly above his smooth, full lips. I looked into his eyes and could have cried. No matter how many times we had been together and no matter how intimately familiar he was with my body, he always made me feel like it was our first time. In that moment of distraction, I found myself lying back on the bed with Jacob leaning over me triumphantly.

No words were said, because none were necessary. He pulled off my panties slowly tugging them down my legs while kissing me sweetly, softly. When we were finally laid bare to each other, we made eye contact and the gaze felt like it burned into my very soul. In one swift movement, he plunged his length, deep within my very core. I nearly came on the spot from the feeling of being so filled combined with the intense teasing that had preceded it.

Jacob and I must have been on the same wavelength, because after the initial frenzy of our joining ebbed, we resigned ourselves into a very slow, pleasurable love making. His hands trailed languidly up and down my skin as we opted to breath between kisses. We were in no rush to bring ourselves over the edge and instead luxuriated in driving ourselves to the brink while denying our releases. We kissed, we touched, and we made love for what seemed like hours until we reached the point of no return and screamed out our climaxes, not caring that my neighbors could have heard.

Jacob collapsed on top of me, our bodies making a sweaty heap of twisted limbs. He rolled onto his back bringing me to rest my head on his heaving chest. I was thoroughly spent and blissfully oblivious to everything but the feeling of Jacob's hard body beneath me. His arms wrapped around me sheltering me in a warm cocoon. I sighed deeply as his hand ran through my hair sending tingles through my scalp and down my spine. "I love you," he said as he kissed the top of my head. I mumbled an incoherent reply that was muffled by my lips against his chest. He chuckled and held me tighter leaving me feeling worshipped and adored.

We lay there awhile amidst the crumpled sheets and a stuffy room that reeked of sweat and sex. I made a note to myself to air out the room before Charlie came home. Once my breathing had finally gone back to normal, I couldn't help but chuckle when I thought about how the whole encounter started.

"And just what are you laughing at, Beautiful?"

I lifted my head and met his warm, open gaze. "I can't believe you bit me," I answered, smiling bashfully.

"I didn't bite you," he insisted. "It was more of a…love pinch."

I smiled dreamily and shook my head. "Why do I let you do these things to me?"

"Uh, because you _love_ it. And, you find me irresistible. Face it, you're powerless to resist me."

"Hmm," I replied thoughtfully. "That must be it." He took my hand and kissed my palm, smiling triumphantly.

"Hey," I said, a little too loudly, startling both of us from our post-coital lethargy. "That reminds me," I continued. "I know of someone else who finds you pretty irresistible."

"Oh yeah, who?"

I propped myself up on my elbows so that we could talk face to face. "You know my friend Angela Weber?"

"Uh yeah, the tall one, wears glasses, really friendly? I met her at the beach that one time, right?"

"Yep, that's the one. Anyway, I ran into her at the pharmacy today. We got to talking about you and well, she knew I was in love with you before even I did. She said you were pretty hot too."

I knew I was boosting his ego to the point of annoyance, but I couldn't help it. He looked so pleased with himself. "Well, clearly she's a smart girl. You should hang out with her more often."

"Actually, I planned to do just that."

He looked surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah. Seeing Angela today got me thinking. I don't have any friends."

"Whoa, you have me, you have The Pack, Leah…The Cullens," he added grudgingly.

"Of course I have you. You're the most important person in my life. And, I love the guys and Leah. But, they're only my friends by virtue of me knowing you. And, Alice and The Cullens, well, they're only in my life as a result of my relationship with Edward. I mean, as it stands now, the only friends in my life are connected to the guys I've dated. I think there's something wrong with that, don't you?"

"Well," he paused thoughtfully.

"Look, I've already made the mistake of making one person the center of my world at the cost of everyone else. I just don't ever want to do that again."

Jacob squirmed involuntarily beneath me. "Do I make you feel like you can't have a life outside of me? Because, if I do, I…"

"Jake, no, don't be ridiculous. I don't think that at all. But, if I'm being honest with myself, Edward didn't make me do it either. It was all voluntary on my part. You're the most supportive, encouraging person I know. It's me. I'm the one who isolated myself. I just want to make sure that I'm not so drunk off of love that I neglect other aspects of my life. Honestly, Jake, I would be happy with only you in my life. I just don't think my life would be as fulfilling or complete as it would be if I actually made an effort with my friends. Angela's always been a great friend to me. I figure it's about time I return the favor."

Jacob stared at me. His gaze was penetrating and I found I couldn't hold it for long. I glanced at his chest as I mindlessly traced patterns across his nipples.

"Okay, I'm going to sound like a total girl here, but, I'll just say it." He cupped my chin and tilted my head up so that I had no choice but to meet his eyes. "I've always loved you, ever since I was a kid." He sat up and I was forced to sit up with him. Jacob then grabbed me gently around the waist and eased me back down on the bed so that he could hover over me. "Bells, I'm falling more in love with you everyday. You're beautiful, and I'm not just talking about all this." He glanced down my naked body appreciatively. "You've changed so much this past year. You really are amazing."

He leaned in to kiss my lips hungrily. His body molded onto mine and his hands tangled in my hair. I willed the joyful tears away from my eyes and focused instead on the feel of his impossibly smooth skin brushing against mine. His kiss deepened and I could feel his hardness pressing against my thigh. I knew exactly what he intended to happen next. And, I'd be lying if I said I didn't want it just as much as he did. But, I felt it was time to play with him a bit more. I broke the kiss and smiled sweetly before turning over on my side, leaving him with a perfect view of my bare backside.

I couldn't see his face, but I could hear the frown in his voice. "Aw," he whined miserably. "What was that for?"

I had to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing. In a serious tone I replied, "Jake, you seem to be under the impression that I'm 'powerless to resist you.' I just wanted to point out that that wasn't the case."

"Are you sure about that?" he asked solicitously. His hand moved over my hip, across my stomach, and down towards my aching core, all while he gently nibbled and sucked at my neck. If I let him go any farther, I knew I would be done for. I grabbed his wrist and brought his hand to my lips, kissing it sweetly.

"So, tell me about your day."

My heart was beating a mile a minute, because I wanted nothing more than to give into his advances. But, I had to admit that it was just as much fun to tease him and almost as satisfying.

"Uh, my day, huh?" he stuttered adorably. "Bells," he sighed. "My whole day was spent thinking about this right here, you and me, naked and sweaty. For crying out loud. I was so distracted today I almost botched an oil change. _An oil change! _I've been doing those since I was in diapers. I rushed home so I could wash the grease off and…oh…"

"Oh?" I turned over, intrigued by his sudden change in tone.

"That reminds me," he said. He rolled onto his back, one arm supporting his head while the other wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him. "Yeah, the weirdest thing happened with Paul."

I groaned realizing my plan of distracting him had backfired. "Aw, come on Jake. Do we really have to talk about him now?"

He laughed. "Don't even give me that, Bells. You're the one who wanted to change the subject."

"Fine," I pouted. "Tell me about Paul."

He smiled and pulled me even closer against his warmth. His hand ran up and down my arm simultaneously warming me and sending chills down my spine.

"Well, when I got home, I found him snooping around my room, _again_!"

Ever since Paul had become a permanent fixture of the Black household, Jacob had found it increasingly more difficult to establish his own personal space. If Rachel was out working or running errands, Paul would try to fill the time watching Jacob's television, eating his food, or going through his things. He was like an annoying younger brother. It was one of the things that led to most of the tension in the house. There Jacob was, finally free of Paul's insidious thoughts due to the Pack separation, only to have Paul's physical presence literally everywhere he turned. It was no wonder they nearly came to blows every time they talked. And, it was no coincidence why Jacob tended to stay with me more often than not.

"What is Paul doing in your room anyway?"

He laughed darkly. "Honestly, I think he's looking for porn."

I huffed indignantly. "Well, that's ridiculous. If he wanted to find your porn stash, he should just…"

"…look in the garage, I know," he finished for me.

"Wh-what?" I stuttered. "I was just kidding Jake. Do you mean to tell me that you really do have porn in the garage, the very birthplace of our love?"

He smiled in that sexy way that always made me question why I would possibly be angry with him. "Relax Bells. First of all, it's not mine I swear. Scouts honor." He held up three fingers of his right hand, eyes wide and thoroughly convincing. I swatted his hand away and laughed. "Jake, you were never a scout."

"That's not really relevant," he replied easily. "But, I'm telling you the truth. Quil and Embry would bring some magazines over when they were trying to hide them from their parents. My garage was the best place. I mean, it's not like Billy would go in there, you know? So, you see, _they're_ the pervs. I'm completely innocent."

His tone suggested that he was anything but innocent. Though, I felt as if a lot of my questions had been answered. Jacob was good with his hands. Okay, good was a gross understatement. He was phenomenal. I often wondered how someone so inexperienced, could know what he knew about sex. To think that he learned it from reading porn was embarrassing, but hardly surprising. I eyed him sternly and his confidence seemed to waver ever so slightly.

"Alright, I did contribute to the collection. But, I promise they were only stolen copies of Victoria's Secret catalogues from my sisters."

I didn't say anything and simply maintained my accusatory stare, hoping to unnerve him further. A light blush actually stained his russet cheeks. "I swear that was it Bells. I never had actual porn. I'm just a poor kid from the Rez. I had to make do with what I had."

He then unleashed his powerful puppy dog eyes on me and I knew I was done for. I wasn't really angry with him at all. I thought it was totally normal for him and his teenaged friends to look at porn. But, seeing the look in his eyes told me for the millionth time, that though he may have _looked_ at other girls, I was the only one he ever truly _saw_.

My subsequent laughter broke the tension. "It's okay Jake. I don't really care. I was just busting your balls. But, uh, I don't think you really wanted to talk about your porn collection right?"

He was torn between relief and annoyance. He simply shook his head and nodded. "Yeah, like I was saying, something weird happened with Paul. So, I found him in my room and of course we started yelling at each other. He was being a complete asshole. I know, surprising, right? Anyway, I told him to get the hell out of my room. You know him; he just mouthed off and told me to shove it. I don't know what happened next, but I just felt this wave of heat and, God I don't know, power crash into me. I told him to leave my room again only this time, I swear it was the Alpha in me speaking. And, he did."

"He did what, exactly?" I asked confused. Clearly I had missed the point of the story.

"Honey, I used my Alpha command and Paul obeyed." He looked at me, willing me to see the significance of what had happened.

"Bells, Paul's not part of my Pack. The Alpha command shouldn't have worked on him. Something's changing. I can feel it."

"Well, that makes sense doesn't it? I mean, you're the natural born Alpha of the Pack, the next in line to be Chief of the tribe. Just because you didn't want the job at first, doesn't mean it's not yours. Maybe this is nature's way of uniting the Packs again, under its true leader. That's you babe. I think it's the wolf's way of saying that you're mature enough for this. You should be happy."

He lay there, letting my words sink in. "Yeah, I know you're right. It's just I wasn't expecting it. I assumed that things would stay the same for a few years, you know? At least, until Sam stopped phasing. But, I guess the wolf doesn't like things the way they are. I mean, we're really at a disadvantage being separated the way we are. We've learned to work around it, but the inability to communicate between the packs is a big liability. I'll talk to Sam about it. In the meantime," he paused with a mischievous look on his face. "I think it'll be fun testing my Alpha authority on Paul and Jared though. It'll be interesting to see what I can get them to do."

I sat up and looked at him thoughtfully. "You know what I said about you being mature enough for this? Clearly, I misspoke."

Christmas Eve came a lot faster than I expected. I found myself ridiculously busy with the preparations for Christmas dinner. Luckily, Jacob was a huge help. He was my own personal sous chef. He chopped and diced like real pro. He helped me maintain my calm and constantly reminded me that I was cooking for family and friends, people who loved me. His beautiful smile and eager willingness to be my "little" helper, regardless of how menial the task, kept my spirits up.

Jacob and I got the bulk of our prep work done before noon. We were able to spend the rest of the day lounging on the couch and watching television with Charlie. Though, we weren't as comfortable as I would have hoped thanks to my Dad. Charlie was acting strange all day. He was constantly checking his watch and made several "private" phone calls. He assured me that it was nothing serious and that he was just following up on something for work. But, it didn't stop him from nervously pacing the living room and driving Jacob and I completely crazy.

Charlie was so distracted that he didn't even bat an eye when I asked if it would be okay for Jacob to spend the night. It wasn't like Jacob wouldn't have anyway. But, I thought it would be nice to give Charlie the respect of asking first; for a change. It was Christmas after all. Before Charlie had a chance to change his mind, Jacob left to pick up a few things from his place so he could be back by bed time.

The night wore on and my exhaustion kicked in. I was waiting downstairs for Jacob to come back, and fighting off sleep every minute. The phone rang, startling me awake. Charlie was upstairs, so I got up to answer it. As soon as I stood up, I heard Charlie yell frantically down the stairs, "I've got it Bells!" I thought it was strange. It was almost as if he didn't want me speaking to whoever was calling. I didn't dwell on my father's weird behavior long, because Jacob returned shortly thereafter. He was dressed in his cut-off sweats and a light t-shirt, hardly the proper attire for a winter's night. He carried his backpack over his shoulder. He took one look at me and frowned.

"Bells, you're dead on your feet."

I yawned, illustrating his point. "I know. But, I wanted to wait for you."

He drew me into his arms and kissed me lightly on the lips. "I'm sorry to keep you waiting. Let's get to bed."

He took me by the hand and led me upstairs. I heard Charlie's muffled voice through his door and knew he was still talking to someone on his extension.

"Night Dad," I said as I walked passed.

"Yeah, goodnight Charlie," Jacob added, a little too happily. Frankly, I thought he was pushing his luck with Charlie.

"Uh, goodnight kids," Charlie called out after us. His tone was gruff and distracted. I was dying to know what was bothering him, but I was too tired to worry about it then.

Jacob walked me into my room and helped undress me. He found a pair of warm pajamas and I used my last remaining strength to slip into them. I practically collapsed onto my bed and lay there watching Jacob kick off his shoes and pull off his shirt. He turned out the light and crawled into bed beside me. He spooned me, cradling my body against his. One arm slid under my neck while his hand rested on my forehead. His other arm fell across my waist catching my hand and our fingers intertwined.

"Merry Christmas, Bella," he whispered and then kissed me softly on my head. I sighed contentedly. Before my eyes fell closed for the night, I asked, "Jake, what's in your backpack?"

He laughed heartily and squeezed me tightly. "It's your Christmas present."

I closed my eyes and mumbled, "So, what did you get me?"

"You'll find out as soon as you wake up. But, you have to go to sleep first."

So, I did. I fell asleep almost immediately to the sound of Jacob's breathing and the steady beating of his heart. The next think I knew the sun was shining directly on my face. I winced at the brightness and turned over, away from the window and directly into Jake's hard body. I opened my eyes just a crack to see Jacob leaning up on his arm and smiling down on me with an eager look in his eyes.

"Jake, I'm not in the mood," I moaned. I closed my eyes and snuggled against his chest. His laughter sent reverberations through his chest and echoed in my ears.

"Come on Bells, it's Christmas! I need to get home to open presents with my Dad and Rachel and you need to open yours with Charlie. I let you sleep as long as I could, but I have to go soon."

I sat up, feeling more groggy and tired than I did when I went to bed. I was glad that Christmas was that day, because I was hoping that I could finally rest and relax once it was over. I glanced at my clock and saw that it was a little after eight. I smelled fresh coffee downstairs and knew that Charlie was already up and waiting for me so that we could open our presents.

I stretched and made to get out of bed. Jacob go pip and pulled me to my feet smiling.

"Okay, so let's get our presents," he said.

I couldn't help but smile at how excited he looked. I pushed past my exhaustion and embraced the Christmas spirit. Jacob opened his backpack and took out a large, flat, square-shaped package that was beautifully wrapped. I had a feeling that Rachel had something to do with the presentation. He sat back down on my bed, the gift on his lap, and waited patiently for me. I walked towards my bookshelves and reached behind my Jane Austen and Bronte Sisters collection to retrieve the small box containing Jacob's bracelet. I sat on the bed and saw Jacob's appreciative nod. We both knew he would have never thought to look behind those books for his present.

"So," I began. "How should we do this? Do you want to go first, or should I?"

"No, I want you to go first," he said, practically bouncing in his seat.

I set his gift to the side and took the large package he handed to me. It was almost too beautiful to open, but my curiosity won out and I tore into it unapologetically. When I pulled back the paper, I saw a beautiful leather-bound scrapbook. The cover was engraved with "The Black Swans." I ran my hand over the engraving and looked at Jacob, tears welling in my eyes.

He brushed my cheek with his hand. "Don't cry yet, honey. Look inside."

I opened the book and the first page held pictures of both Jacob and I as babies. I continued flipping through the pages and saw that Jacob had collected several pictures of me from various stages of my life. My heart skipped a beat when I saw a picture of me wearing a tutu from when I did ballet in Phoenix. I knew for a fact that Charlie didn't have that picture. I looked up at Jacob, my mouth open in a silent question.

He smiled warmly. "Yeah, I've spent the last month going through your Dad's photos while you were at work, and when I had the time. I realized pretty early on that Charlie had a few gaps in terms of your life. So, I called your mom. She sent me a bunch of pictures that helped fill in the blanks."

I didn't know what to say. I continued scanning through the many pages and saw that they were filled with tons of pictures of both of us, from birth to the present. The second half of the book consisted of pictures taken over the past two years. There were a few Charlie had taken when I would help Jacob with his homework, while he helped me hold myself together. I'd forgotten those pictures had even existed. Jacob included a copy of the picture taken after our first night together and the last page held the picture of us in the snow. The very picture I had intended to give him as part of his Christmas present, but had forgotten all about.

I looked up from the photos and saw Jacob watching me expectantly. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came to me. I was overwhelmed with his thoughtfulness. He had gone out of his way to call my mother to get what he needed. His gift was utter and complete perfection. I unwittingly burst into tears, the emotion finally erupting to the surface.

Jacob looked panic-stricken. "Bells, what's wrong? I thought you'd…"

I couldn't let him utter another word. I clutched the scrapbook in one hand and grabbed the front of his shirt with the other and pulled him into a salty, wet kiss.

"Jacob, this is the _best_ present I've ever received. I can't believe how much work you put into it. It's perfect and I love it." I kissed him again to emphasize my point.

"Then, why are you crying?" He asked nervously.

"Honestly," I chuckled, wiping the tears from my eyes. "I don't know. I just feel so emotional. But, I promise you, they're happy tears."

He bit his lip and looked deeply into my eyes. He must have been convinced I was telling him the truth because he then smiled brightly.

"Good, because I thought the whole "Black Swan" thing might have freaked you out."

"Why would it?"

"Well, I know how you feel about the whole marriage thing. And, that's not to imply that we'd getting married or anything…if you didn't want to. I just wanted to show you that we'd always be together, no matter what. Look here," he took the scrapbook and opened it up to the back pages, which were blank.

"I left a bunch of pages blank so we could fill them up with pictures from college, holidays, you know, whatever…maybe even kids. And, you can add pages to it so we could make it so big it'll be filled with the pictures of our entire lives; our life together."

"You're right Jake. I _did_ have…reservations about the whole marriage thing. But," and I looked at him thoughtfully, hoping he'd understand my meaning. "For some reason, I can't seem to remember what any of them were."

His face lit up and it made him look beautiful beyond belief. And, I was responsible for putting that look on his face. That was gift enough for me.

I dried my eyes further and handed Jacob his present. "Here, now it's your turn."

He tore into the tiny package and pulled out the delicate bracelet with his massive fingers. He looked at it, then back at me with awe. The bracelet looked perfect in his hand. I had chosen colors that meant something to me. I chose blue for First Beach, green for the Olympic forest, and yellow for the sun Jacob represented in my universe. The different colored strings were all woven together into a simple, yet elegant design.

It was his turn to be speechless. I took the bracelet from his hand and tied it to his wrist, silently leaping for joy that I had made it big enough.

"How?" he whispered.

"You're not the only one who has resources." I knelt on the bed, leaning into him, our noses barely touching. "I wanted to show you that I belong to you." I brushed his nose with mine and then our lips a came together in a powerful kiss. I closed my eyes, savoring the feel of his smooth skin on mine and the warmth I felt in my heart. He pulled away, breaking the kiss, and said, "I belong to _you_."

Jacob left shortly after that, promising to come back with his Dad around two. I was serving dinner at four, so he offered to help with any last minute details, for which I was extremely grateful.

When I got downstairs, I immediately put the turkey in the oven, seeing as how it needed to cook for several hours. Charlie was in a great mood. He was calm and smiled easily. It was a vast improvement from the nervous wreck he was the night before. We exchanged gifts and I was floored when I opened an envelope to find a gift certificate worth three hundred dollars for The Peninsula College bookstore. The card read that it was from Charlie, Renee, and Phil. My first semester's books would be more than covered. It was one less financial burden to worry about. I made a mental note to call Renee later and thank her. I thanked Charlie for the thoughtful gift and was pleased when he told me he loved the new fishing pole I bought him.

After presents, we started cleaning up and preparing for dinner. Charlie dusted and vacuumed upstairs and cleaned the bathroom, while I dusted downstairs between getting all the side dishes together. When Charlie finished upstairs I told him to stay out of my way since he would be more of a hindrance than help in the kitchen. He obliged me dutifully and plopped onto the couch and turned on the basketball game. I went to town scrubbing and scouring the linoleum floor in the kitchen. I was on my hands and knees, feeling every bit like Cinderella when the doorbell rang.

"Hey Bells, could you get that?"

_What? Are your legs broken_, I thought to myself. I knew I told him I didn't need his help, but if he thought I was now the butler too, he had another thing coming to him. Clearly my father had never heard of the Women's Lib movement. I returned to my cleaning and the bell rang again.

"Bells?"

Grrr. Fine. I threw the sponge down and brushed some hair out of my face, as I walked towards the front door. I reached for the doorknob and glared at Charlie who was lounging on the couch with a beer in his hand and his feet propped up on the coffee table. I cringed at the smug look on his face then immediately reproached myself. I didn't know where that anger was coming from. Sure, I was annoyed. But, I found myself filled with an all encompassing rage, like I had the shortest fuse imaginable. And, that just wasn't me. Charlie and I had had a wonderful morning. I realized there was no need to get that angry over nothing. I shook my head and took a calming breath, then opened the door.

"SURPRISE!"

I was startled and took a step back in utter shock. There, on the front porch, were none other than Renee and Phil, laden with Christmas gifts. When I didn't make a move or say anything, Renee shot herself over the threshold and nearly tackled me in a bone-crushing hug.

"Mom?"

The next thing I knew, Charlie was standing by my side with a pleased grin on his face. I stared at him in open-mouthed shock.

"Dad, you…"

"Merry Christmas, Bells," was his only reply.

I let the warm feelings wash over me and finally returned my mother's embrace. I felt tears falling from my eyes when I realized I had just received the best Christmas gift I could have asked for, my family finally together.

"Mom, what are you doing here?"

She stepped back and wiped the tears from my eyes. "Oh, your father and I have been talking about what to get you for Christmas. We know how much you complain about presents, so we brainstormed about what would make you happy this year and we settled on this!"

I bit my lip, completely overwhelmed with joy. "Then, what's with all the packages, and my gift certificate?" I looked at Charlie for answers.

Renee glanced conspiratorially down at the gifts in Phil's hands and shrugged. "Well, we couldn't come to our daughter's first dinner party empty handed, now could we?"

"Well, come on in out of the cold already," Charlie urged. Renee and Phil walked in, setting their packages under the tree. Renee and I locked eyes. Her smile was wide and euphoric. I looked from Renee to Charlie and was overwhelmed with love and happiness. The situation was perfect. I'd resigned myself long ago to the fact that my parents wouldn't ever miraculously get back together. But, seeing them in the same room together, by choice, all smiles and truly happy was too much to hope for. I threw myself into Charlie's arms. He uttered a surprised grunt then wrapped his arms around me affectionately.

"Thanks, Dad. I'm sorry I've been such a pain lately."

"That's okay, kiddo. I'm just glad you're happy."

"So, this is why you were so crazy last night?"

He rolled his eyes. "Don't even get me started on that. Your mother's plane was supposed to arrive yesterday afternoon. I was afraid the whole surprise would be ruined." Charlie invited Phil to sit with him on the couch and watch the game. After a few minutes, they were talking and carrying on like old friends.

Renee took off her coat and followed me into the kitchen. "Your father was pretty stressed yesterday. Our flight was delayed because of weather. We didn't get in until late last night. I called to see if Charlie thought we should still come over and he said you looked pretty beat. So, we just crashed at the motel and decided to make our appearance today instead."

I couldn't resist hugging her again. I had been thinking a lot about her and to have her there in the flesh was just surreal.

We spent the rest of the morning in the kitchen, cooking and cleaning. We spent hours talking, laughing and catching up. Renee wasn't the best cook in the world, but she followed my directions perfectly. With her help, I got so much done that I was able to take a shower and get dressed for dinner with plenty of time to spare.

When I got back downstairs after my shower, Renee was wiping down the counter tops. Phil and Charlie had brought in an extra table and chairs that Charlie had borrowed from the police station. I found extra tablecloths and laid out all the silverware. I had just finished setting the tables when Charlie spilled his coffee all over one of the tablecloths.

I freaked out. "Dad!"

"Oh, sorry kiddo. I'll just…" He fumbled for napkins to clean up the mess.

But, I wasn't having any of that. I threw myself into a chair, tossed my arms up in defeat and yelled, "Don't bother! It's all ruined anyway!" The rational part of my brain told me that the spill was minor, and literally nothing to cry over. But, my emotions prevailed and I could not be calmed. I knew I was overreacting, but I couldn't seem to help myself.

Charlie and Phil looked at each other like two men stuck in the feminine hygiene aisle of the supermarket; lost and panic-stricken. I immediately burst into tears letting the anxiety and pressure of cooking for my loved ones finally get the better of me. I was beyond upset, yet a small part of me couldn't figure out why I was _that_ upset. The confusion led to more tears and I felt as though I was at a complete loss.

Charlie didn't know what to make of my behavior. He tried soothing me. "Honey, I'm sorry. I'll clean it up. It'll be as good as new. I…"

Renee stepped in helpfully. "Now Charlie, why don't you and Phil just go in the other room and watch TV? I'm sure there's a game of some sort on, right? Bella's just a bit overwhelmed at the moment. But, it's nothing we can't handle. I'll take care of this."

Phil and Charlie backed away cautiously, afraid I might freak out yet again. I took a calming breath once they left the room and looked at my mom sheepishly.

"I'm sorry. I don't…I don't know what got into me. I need to talk to Charlie."

"Oh please Bella. If he can't handle having his butt handed to him by his own daughter, then he doesn't deserve to be the Chief of Police. Besides, I think he gets it." She winked conspiratorially at me.

"Gets it?" I asked. "What do you mean?"

"Honey, please. I've lived with you long enough to recognize the signs. I think we all know to steer clear of you when it's that time of the month."

She smirked and moved to clean up Charlie's coffee mess. I rolled my eyes at her and made my way towards the sink to finish off the dirty dishes. I chuckled to myself thinking how crazy I must have looked to my father. I really had been a basket case for weeks and…

A sharp intake of breath brought everything into perspective. I'd been feeling that way for _weeks_. I felt the blood drain from my face. I dropped the plate I was holding into the sink where it clattered against the porcelain.

"Bella, are you okay?" Renee's concerned voice called out to me, as if from a great distance. I felt my knees get weak and I grabbed onto the counter top, bracing myself. My knuckles were white from the exertion.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Um…" I stalled, not daring to meet her intuitive gaze. "Um, I forgot to do something upstairs. I'll be right back."

I ran out of the kitchen and up the stairs before I could hear her response. I stumbled into my bedroom and closed the door behind me, collapsing onto my bed. I sat there as the enormity of my predicament overwhelmed me. Renee's words echoed in my mind, "that time of the month." I mentally calculated and discovered that I hadn't had my period in two months. In fact, when I really thought about it, the last time I had it was about two weeks before Halloween, when the Volturi were still in town and Jacob and I were apart. I cringed at my own stupidity. How could I not notice something like that?

I bit my lip, because I could answer that question easily. I didn't notice because I was too consumed with the impossibility that Jacob had taken me back, that he still loved me despite the pain I had put him through. I didn't notice the missed period for two months because I was busy rebuilding my relationship. I was blissfully happy and hadn't been paying attention to things like that. I pulled nervously at my bottom lip as all the pieces came together in my mind. I had been feeling tired and nauseous the past month. At least two people, completely independent of each other had said that I was "glowing." Lord knows I was emotional at times, to the point of snapping at Jacob, even when he was being sweet. I had just chalked it up to the stress from the Volturi's visit, not to mention the realization that we were all blind to their future decisions making me a veritable sitting duck. I knew that stress could alter one's cycle. So, it never even occurred to me that it could be something…more.

I buried my head in my hands, willing myself to take slow and deliberate breaths, because I knew I was in danger of passing out. How could I have been so foolish? Missing one month could slide for a variety of reasons. But, two months in a row? That could only mean one thing, right? I kicked myself thinking I should have known. After all, the story of my life was that something dire and life-altering would always happen whenever I was blissfully happy.

I grabbed my phone, because I needed Jacob like I'd never needed him before. As I dialed his number I thought of Alice. Shouldn't she have seen this? On the other hand, maybe she saw nothing because there was nothing to see and I was overreacting. Or, and I tended to think the next option was more likely, maybe she didn't see anything because I was in fact carrying Jacob's child and the werewolf gene blinded her.

The phone rang a couple times before Jacob answered.

_Black Residence._

"Jake, I need to talk to you."

_Hey Bells._

"Jake, I…" I was cut off by Billy talking to Jacob on the other end.

_Is that Bella on the phone son? Merry Christmas Bella!_

"Yeah, Merry Christmas Billy. Jake, look, I…"

_She said Merry Christmas old man! _

Before I could get a word in edgewise, I heard Paul in the background.

_Aw, widdle baby Bella wants to talk to Jakey-poo? Jesus, you guys just boned and you're going to see each other in an hour…_

This time Paul was silenced by a loud thump. I could only assume Jacob must have thrown something at him. I was hoping it was a large car, but didn't think it'd be likely. I heard Paul yell.

_Ow! What the hell Jake?_

_It's your own dam fault jackass_, Jake yelled. Then his voice turned honey smooth as he addressed me. _Sorry about that. You were saying?_

I sighed, frustrated that I couldn't speak with him privately.

"Jake, I need you to come over…"

_Jake, who do you think you are?_ This time Rachel's stern voice pulsed through the line. _You can't just go throwing things at Paul because you don't like what he says._

_Oh my God, here we go_, Jake mumbled. _Sorry Bells. I gotta go. But, assuming we don't all kill each other here, we'll be over in about an hour. I love you._

The line disconnected before I could say anything else. I growled in anger and threw my phone across the room. This could not be happening to me. I felt like I was stuck on the edge of some great precipice and only Jake could talk me down. We had been so careful. I took my pill religiously, even when Jake and I were apart. I never failed to take it. It had become such an ingrained part of my daily routine. I found my body vibrating with nervous energy. Jacob wouldn't be over for a whole other hour, and even then, he'd be coming with everyone else. It was hardly the ideal scenario to have that discussion.

A soft tap on my bedroom door was followed by Renee peaking in with a concerned look on her face. She took one look at me and rushed to my bedside, crouching down on her knees in front of me. I felt her hand lift my chin so that she could look into my eyes.

"Baby, what's wrong? You're so pale." She cradled my cheeks and her brow furrowed with worry. I knew I could tell my mom about this. Vampires and Werewolves would have been too much for her, but I knew she could handle this. I _needed_ her to.

There was no beating around the bush, so I just blurted out, "Mom, I…I think I might be pregnant."

The look on Renee's face would have been comical if she wasn't my mother, and if I weren't the one in that predicament. Shock would have been an understatement for the look I saw in her eyes. In that moment, I wasn't the wise beyond her years daughter who took care of her flighty mother. I was a frightened young teenager in desperate need of her mother's unfailing love and support. As if in answer to my silent plea, Renee steeled herself and sat next to me on the bed.

"Okay, Bella. What do you mean? You _think_ you're pregnant, or you are? Have you taken a test yet?"

I shook my head, unable to find my voice.

"I don't understand sweetie. Have you been taking the pill?"

"Yes," I moaned miserably. "I've never forgotten once. I even had the flu a couple months ago and I made sure to take the pill along with the antibiotics Carlisle prescribed for me."

Her eyes widened at my admission. "Oh sweetheart, that's probably it."

"What are you talking about?"

Renee threw her arm over my shoulder and pulled me into her embrace. "Bella, sometimes antibiotics can interfere with your birth control. They can make it less effective."

All hope faded and I burst into tears, clinging to my mother like a lost child.

"Shh, honey it's okay. You'll take a test and we'll know for sure. We'll figure this out."

"Mom, you must be so disappointed in me."

"Bella," she held my face firmly between her hands. "You listen to me. Nothing you could ever do would make me love you less. This isn't an ideal situation and I wish things were different. But, you're my daughter. If anyone can handle this it's you. I'll help you through this. Now let's not get ahead of ourselves here. You stay right here. I'm going to go out and get a test for you. I'll be right back."

She left my room with a reassuring nod. While she was gone, I paced my bedroom so much that I thought I would wear a hole through the wood. I didn't know where she had gone, but she was back in less than an hour, her face flushed and her forehead glistened with perspiration. She barreled into my room, closing the door behind her. I sat on the bed, the weight of the world bearing down on me.

Renee approached me tentatively and placed a large paper bag in my lap. I opened it and saw about twelve pregnancy tests inside. I looked at her questioningly.

She shrugged. "I panicked."

I removed a pregnancy test and placed the bag at my side. I heard a commotion downstairs and figured that our guests had finally arrived. Renee sat in my rocking chair watching me intently. I turned the box over and over in my hands; afraid to do what I knew needed to be done.

Just when I had summoned the courage to stand up, Jacob walked through my bedroom door, dressed in his dark jeans and the navy blue collared shirt I loved so much. The scent of musk, pine, ocean and sunshine permeated my senses and inadvertently sent a calming wave over me. His mere presence lent me the strength I needed to face the truth.

Jacob was naturally, completely oblivious to the turmoil in my mind. I looked at his beautiful face with its brilliant smile and hated the idea that my news would take that smile away. For the first time in our relationship, it struck me just how young he was; how young we both were.

"Hey Bells. So, wow, big surprise huh? I can't believe your mom and Phil flew in from Florida. It's really great. So, why are you hiding away in your room? Everyone's waiting for you downstairs." He moved towards me, a sexy smirk plastered on his face. I stood frozen, unable to return his greeting. I could see in his eyes that he was about to lean in for a kiss when Renee cleared her throat from the other side of the room.

Jacob jumped in surprise. "Oh, hey Renee. I didn't see you there." He recovered quickly and flashed her his wining smile. "So, what are you two ladies up to?" He glanced quickly at the box in my hands.

"Ooh, more presents?" He reached out and took the box from my hands before I could stop him. He looked at the box for a moment, reading it carefully. He looked up at me and I almost fainted when I saw a bright smile of recognition on his face. He looked at Renee.

"Wow! You and Phil are going to have a baby? Bella's going to be a big sister? That's crazy. I…"

He stopped mid-sentence when Renee shook her head, her face locked in a tight-lipped grimace. Jacob's smile faded and he looked thoughtful for a moment. All of a sudden his dark skin turned pale and ghostly as he gasped in shock. He looked from me to the pregnancy test, and then back to me. I met his stunned gaze with one of my own. My mouth fell open, but no words came out. Jacob staggered back, his voice a deathly whisper.

"Well, that's not good."

**A/N: Okay, so I know…I suck big time. It's been 2 months since my last update. I have no family drama to report, I'm healthy, my family and friends are healthy. I don't know what to tell you. After the last chapter, I felt like I needed a break. So, I relaxed and read A LOT. Then Thanksgiving came and I wasn't in the writing mind-set. Then December came and I just got too busy with Xmas, birthdays, anniversaries, etc., that writing was kind of the last thing on my mind. I tried like hell to get this chapter out before Xmas, but that just didn't happen. I appreciate all of you who sent me messages asking if I was going to continue the story. I'm glad you were thinking of me. I wish I could have let you all know that I hadn't forgotten about you, but I figured I'd have people after me if I posted an author's note to explain my absence, as opposed to an actual chapter. So, I hope all is forgiven and that you enjoyed this chapter. It was the absolute LONGEST one yet…27 typed pages. That's a lot of typing for my poor carpal tunnel. (Of course, this author's note isn't helping matters either.) Anyway, I'd like to thank my beta Christine for helping me with this one. And, again, thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed and listed my story as a favorite. Until next time…Erin**


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do NOT!!!**

**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone for reviewing the last chapter. As usual, I'd like to thank my anonymous reviewers who I wasn't able to thank personally. Camilla, Kayla!!!, Penny, megan39, AnonymousAussie, dahlia687, Paylee, Holly, gaby, gaga4gaga, Kandykane. Your reviews really mean so much to me. Thank you again!**

**CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE **

"_Well, that's not good_." Yeah, not exactly the words I wanted to hear.

Jacob stood frozen in place, his mouth gaping open in shock. His eyes looked vacant and distant. That was exactly what I didn't want. It was almost as bad as the tortured look he gave me when I had to "break up" with him. I never wanted to be responsible for making him look that way. It broke my heart. I wanted to throw my arms around him and comfort him, but I was incapable of motion. I couldn't seem to will my body to move.

The silence was deafening. The only sound was that of our heavy, strained breathing. My eyes were locked on Jacob, while his were focused solely on the pregnancy test in his hands.

Renee got up from the rocking chair and walked over to us. She placed her hand on my shoulder. Under her touch I was finally able to avert my gaze from Jacob and look directly into her concerned eyes. "I'm going to leave you two alone," she said. I nodded. She chucked my chin affectionately and opened the door turning around once more before leaving.

"Bella, take your time. I'll get dinner on the table and I'll stall everyone until you're ready." She then turned to Jacob.

"Jacob, who's here?" She was met with silence. She raised her voice and called out again, "Jacob!"

He seemed to snap to attention and looked at my mother like he hadn't even noticed she was there. "Yes, I mean what? Huh?"

"Jacob," she repeated sweetly. "Honey, who's here?"

"Oh, uh, just me and Billy. Rachel and Paul are coming later with the Clearwaters."

Renee nodded and looked at me again. "Alright, just come down when you're ready, and call me if you need me." She closed the door behind her without another word.

A part of me wanted to call to Renee right then and there. And, I could see in her eyes when she left that she wanted to stay with me more than anything. But, she knew as well as I did that I needed to figure things out with Jacob. I could rely on her for love and support. But, she couldn't walk me through this. That's what I had Jacob for.

Jacob walked past me and threw himself down on my bed, his shoulders sagged with the weight of a heavy burden. Tears poured steadily from my eyes as I looked at him. He looked so sad…so young. My heart raced and my breathing was labored. I was in serious danger of hyperventilating, and his stunned silence merely spurred on the onset of a panic attack.

"You're pregnant." It was a statement, not a question. And, it broke my heart to see him appear utterly defeated.

"Yes…I mean no. God, I don't know."

A glimmer of hope flashed across his face until it faded away when he saw my panic stricken eyes. "You don't know?" he asked.

"I…I haven't taken the test yet."

His smile was heart warming. "So, you might not be?"

I frowned. What could I say? All signs pointed towards pregnancy. I couldn't bear to give him false hope.

"I just don't know Jake."

All of a sudden, something inside of Jacob seemed to change. He sat up straight and pushed his shoulders back. His eyes were filled with a fierce determination. He looked like he did whenever he was about to rebuild an engine. I could see the wheels turning in his head like he was figuring out how to fix a particularly challenging problem.

"Okay Bells, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. So, you think you're pregnant, but you don't know for sure. That's what this is for, right?" He held up the pregnancy test and I merely shrugged. "Good," he nodded in return, as though we hadn't just agreed on the obvious.

"So," he continued. "You must be having symptoms, right? Are you, you know," he squirmed uncomfortably and all I could do was frown because I didn't understand what he was getting at. It was the first time in our relationship that I felt we just weren't connecting like we normally did. It was like we were on two different frequencies and we just couldn't communicate. He rolled his eyes at my lack of understanding and asked, "Are you late?"

"Yes," I answered quickly, and was shocked by the sudden smile that spread across his face.

"Well, that's not so bad, right? I mean, what, you're probably just a few days late, right? I've heard that sometimes you can be late like, I don't know, a week and it's nothing. So…"

"Jake, it's been two months."

"Two months!" He stood up in a flash, nearly shouting the words. I cringed fearing that Charlie or Billy would overhear. I was grateful that Jacob had come early, because I didn't need a bunch of werewolves privy to this conversation. I reached for Jacob and placed my open palms on his chest.

"Jake, please calm down."

My touch calmed him instantly. He nodded absent-mindedly and sat back down on my bed with a grunt.

"Two months. You've known for two months and you didn't say anything?" He turned his head, unable to look me in the eye. His jaw clenched and I could see that he was trying to will away the errant tears that threatened to spill down his face.

I stood in front of him, wedging myself in between his legs and grabbed his face so that he would be forced to look at me. "Don't be ridiculous Jake. I wouldn't keep anything from you. I just realized today that it was a possibility."

"Oh," he sighed. "Wait, then, that's why you called me earlier, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "I put the pieces together and I…I just needed you."

He swallowed hard and wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close. His cheek rested against my chest and I circled my arms around his neck, relishing the closeness we shared despite the drama threatening to bog us down.

"I'm so sorry, Bells. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me."

"Shh, it's okay Jake. It wasn't your fault. And, it's not like I was going to blurt out, 'Hey, I might be pregnant' over the phone." He nodded in agreement and leaned back a bit, loosening his grip on my waist, while my arms hung limply at my sides.

He sighed, "So, two months. And, you never had an idea that, you know?"

"No," I repeated, somewhat annoyed that it wasn't sinking in. "You know I've been tired. I've felt nauseous here and there. And, I've been pretty cranky lately. Hell, I snapped at Charlie over something so trivial today that Renee made a joke that it must be that 'time of the month' for me. That's when it all clicked. I haven't had my period since before Halloween."

Our eyes locked in silent understanding. We both knew what that meant. Halloween had been the first time we had been together intimately, since our "break-up" facilitated by the arrival of The Volturi. It made sense that a weekend filled with wild lovemaking would result in…well, I still didn't want to think about it.

"What did we do wrong?" he asked.

"_We_ didn't do anything wrong. I messed up. I took the Pill everyday like I was supposed to. But, Renee pointed out that some of the medication I was taking when I had that flu could have messed with the Pill's effectiveness. I don't know. It was something about how antibiotics can interfere with…you know, it's not important anymore."

"Then it _is_ my fault," he moaned dejectedly. "I should have been using condoms."

"Don't start with that Jake. We both agreed that we didn't need to anymore. Besides, it's pointless to worry about the how and why. I'm more concerned with why I didn't pick up on the signs. I mean, for crying out loud, it was right in front of me. I'd put on weight ever since we got back together. Hell, Edward and Angela both said I was glowing. Did you notice any of that?"

"Well, yeah. I guess I noticed you put on weight…"

I staggered back, my mouth falling open in complete and utter disbelief. I had never thought I was all that vain about my appearance. But, I, like most girls, didn't want my size questioned by anyone, let alone my boyfriend.

"What?" he asked defensively. He was completely oblivious to his epic "boyfriend-fail."

"So, you think I'm _fat_?" All reason flew out the window and I became hysterical. "I disgust you and you couldn't even tell me?" I started panicking, tears flowed freely. Jacob's eyes went wide. His face was a mask of pure horror. Before I could get out another word, he pulled me roughly to him and kissed me fiercely and passionately. His hands cradled my face delicately. For a moment, just one moment in time, I forgot about everything but the feel of his lips on mine.

"Honey, listen to what you're saying. I think you're the sexiest, most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Yes, you put on weight…" And there it was again, a burning rage that threatened to swallow me whole. It was all consuming and reminiscent of my reaction to Charlie's coffee spill on the dining room table. Jacob held his hands up in surrender, begging me to allow him to continue. If nothing else, he at least acknowledged how volatile I was. "But," he continued cautiously. "Sweetheart, you needed to gain weight. When we were apart, you didn't take care of yourself. When I saw you that night in Port Angeles, it killed me to see how skinny you were, how pale and unhealthy you looked. You had dark circles under your eyes and it looked like you hadn't eaten in days. It freaked me out because you looked like you did when you brought me those motorcycles. It was too much."

My mouth fell open. "Thanks?" I added sarcastically. I didn't see how any of that was supposed to make me feel better, _at all_.

He chuckled and caressed my face between his hands. "Hey it's not like I took care of myself either. I just assumed that you put on weight over the last two months because you were getting healthy again. I didn't say anything because I didn't think it needed to be said. And, I didn't want you reacting, kind of like you are now, because I thought you looked great. Plus, I was enjoying the benefits, and it all kind of slipped my mind." He smirked.

I shook my head in confusion. "Benefits? What Benefits?" He shrugged his shoulders and leaned back on the bed, resting his weight on his forearms. He looked me up and down. Under normal circumstances, I would have taken that as an invitation to ravish his body. But, at that moment, his blatant leering seemed grossly out of place. I started to feel self conscious. He reached for me instinctively, as if he had read my mind. "I'm sorry, Bells." He squeezed my hand playfully. "You honestly don't see the benefits?" I shook my head. "Well," he smiled roguishly. "Your hips are curvier, your butt's, well, you know what I think about that." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and I realized that amidst all my tears, he could still make me smile.

"Did I mention your boobs got bigger too?"

"What?" I looked down at my chest. "They did not! I wear the same bras and everything."

"Well, maybe they're not bigger, but they're definitely fuller." His eyes lingered a little too long on my chest and I snorted at his blatant "manliness."

"And," he continued, his tone more serious. "As far as that whole 'glow' everyone's been talking about, I guess I'm being kind of egotistical here, but I thought that was because of me. I thought it was because _I_ made you happy."

"You _do_ make me happy. In fact, when Edward told me that I was glowing, all I could think about was it must be some kind of physical manifestation of your love, as cheesy as that sounds. Jake, just knowing that you love me makes me feel all lit up inside."

He leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips. When he pulled away, his eyes opened slowly and he conveyed all his love in that one look. "Bella, I guess it really just comes down to the fact that I enjoyed seeing your body change. It wasn't too long ago that you wanted to be a," he choked on the word. "A vampire. You wanted to be frozen in time, forever at the age of eighteen. Well, honey, I can't tell you how I give thanks each and every day that you chose differently. And, not just for me, but for yourself. I love seeing your body change. And, it doesn't matter to me if you ever gain weight, because that just means you're _alive_. Please, believe me when I say this, you get more beautiful every day."

More tears fell from my eyes, only this time they were happy tears. I immediately felt guilty for snapping at him knowing that my earlier response was a side effect of my erratic hormones. He held my small hands in his and smiled, instantly knowing that all was forgiven.

"So, do you think we stalled long enough? Are you ready to take the test now?" He tugged on my hand as he stood up and walked towards the door. "Come on, let's go find out if I'm going to be a Daddy."

I stepped away. "Damn it Jake! You don't have to be so glib about this!" He reached for my hand again but I yanked it back and crossed my arms over my chest defensively.

"Bells, I'm sorry. God, I keep saying that," he mumbled under his breath. "I don't know what to say here. Everything's just coming out all wrong. I'm out of my league here. I can't seem to figure out what to do or say to make this better for you. It's all just so overwhelming." I glared at him and he hastily added, "I mean I know it's _more_ than overwhelming for you too. But, if that test says it's positive, well, we need to be prepared. Our lives are going to change, _forever_."

It wasn't like I didn't know what he said was true. However, hearing him say those words, "our lives are going to change," and then looking into his depthless brown eyes, I realized I couldn't do this to him. He was so young, and despite what he thought about his Pack obligations, he had a bright future ahead of him. And, all of that was going to be taken away because we were careless. I knew he would willingly give up everything for me, his education being first if he thought he needed to work harder to provide for us. I didn't want him to throw away his dreams. He had been in serious danger of failing out of high school because of being run ragged protecting me from Victoria. I had taken so much from him already. It was bad enough that we would become a teenage pregnancy statistic. But, I'd be damned if I let him become a college drop-out as well.

He sighed heavily and looked back down at the box in his hands. Our lives would change because of such an insignificant little object. I felt lost and alone even with Jacob less than a foot away from me. My body trembled and convulsed and I buried my head in my hands as the tears poured down my face.

"I'm so sorry Jake," I mumbled behind my hands. "I'll never forgive myself for doing this to you." The next thing I knew, I was nestled on Jacob's lap, his arms wrapped around me protectively; my head resting against his chest. He rocked me back and forth and placed kisses all over the side of my face and into my hair.

"Shh, honey, don't cry. Everything's going to be okay. I promise. Shh."

I clung to him, sobbing uncontrollably. "I'm so sorry Jake," I moaned piteously. "I thought we were so careful. Now I've ruined your life. All your dreams, our plans…they're just gone." I shook my head, willing away the tears. I decided then and there that I wasn't going to put Jacob through this, regardless of the cost to me. He had given up so much for me. I would give up my happiness for his. "No-no, Jake. I'll move. I'll live with Renee. She could help me raise the baby. You won't have to worry about this, about me. I…"

Jacob's body tensed noticeably. He was stiff, immovable. His accelerated heart beat and ragged breathing were the only things that helped distinguish him from a lifeless statue. I recovered from my rant and wiped my nose with the back of my hand. I looked up and nearly cried out at the anger I saw in his eyes.

"What just happened and where is this coming from?" he asked harshly. "What the hell do you take me for Bella? You think you can just run away, with _our_ baby, and think that I'd be better off? Are you serious? Do you know who you sound like right now? Edward."

I leaned back away from his penetrating gaze. I would have fallen off his lap and onto the ground if it wasn't for his strong grip around my hips.

"Jake, I," I stuttered, not knowing how to respond. I hated that he was comparing my behavior to that of Edward's and yet, he was completely right. I understood why Edward had done what he did. But, it didn't make it right. And, the fact that I, even for a moment, was willing to make that same mistake, told me that I hadn't learned a thing from my past. I stared at Jacob pleadingly. His eyes immediately softened and he sighed heavily. He pulled me flush again to his chest. His grasp was firm and comforting.

"Bells," he whispered. His hand cradled my head and I heard him mumble against my hair, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I just…you can't talk about leaving me. That's not going to help anyone and you know it. So, stop thinking you're going to be some kind of a martyr here. I'm here for you. _Lean_ on me. We're going to get through this together."

"No, Jake. Stop trying to placate me. Don't tell me what I want to hear. Tell me how you really feel. Because, honestly, I'm scared out of my mind right now."

"Honey," he lifted my chin and forced me to look into his eyes. All his fiery anger had changed to fathomless love. "I'm not just giving you lip service here. I love you." He caressed my cheek with his large hand. I leaned into its warmth.

"Bells, I'm scared out of my freaking mind here. I'd rather take on an army of newborns any day over this. But, I can't really change that now, can I? Whatever happens, we _are_ doing this together. There's nothing you can save me from on this one. You can't magically erase my responsibilities as a father just by keeping me out of the picture. This is _our_ responsibility, not yours. We've been through so much together. We've fought so hard to get to this place right now. I just can't believe you'd even consider running away. It isn't going to work. I mean, what were you thinking?"

I sobbed quietly against his chest and willed myself to calm down. I took slow, deliberate breaths and felt my heartbeat begin to slow to its normal levels. "I wasn't thinking at all Jake, at least, not realistically. I don't want to leave you, ever. But, I don't want to be the one responsible for taking your choices away."

He lifted my chin and gave me a warm, yet stern look. "Then don't talk about leaving again. Because, that…that would take all my choices away. You'd be taking me out of the equation, and I couldn't live like that. You're my world Bella. I know we didn't want this, but if that test comes back the way I think it will, then, we need to know that we're not alone in this. So, you have to stop talking about running away, because there is no running away from this."

I nodded and bowed my head. I then embraced him with all my strength, feeling as though I could never get close enough. Finally, I let go and our eyes met. We understood one another implicitly. I nodded and picked up the pregnancy test that sat next to Jacob on my bed.

I got up and walked out my bedroom door towards the bathroom. I stopped when I noticed Jacob was following me and he nearly plowed into me. I looked at him questioningly.

"Uh, Jake, I think I can handle this part on my own."

He frowned, looking confused. Then he followed my gaze into the bathroom and nodded. "Ah, sorry. I guess I'll just wait for you in the bedroom."

I finished up and left the bathroom, test in hand. I heard voices coming from the kitchen, and realized that it was Sue and Renee talking and laughing together. It was nice to hear Sue's laughter. Her world had been turned upside down that year and that would be the first Christmas without Harry. She dealt with the loss of her husband and her only two children becoming werewolves with a grace that was beyond that of mere mortals. She really was an extraordinary person. She must have come ahead of her family to help, because it was still a whole hour before everyone else was expected to arrive. I was grateful for that. Oh to be a fly on the wall in that kitchen. Charlie's ex-wife in the same room with the woman he cared deeply for. Granted, Charlie and Sue hadn't entered into a relationship yet, but we all knew it was inevitable. And I for one would give them all my blessings when it finally happened. I sighed as I turned back towards my room. Sadly, I had more important things than romance to think about. I opened my bedroom door and found Jacob pacing back and forth. The moment he sensed my presence, he froze, staring at me wide-eyed and expectantly.

"Well?" he asked nervously, swallowing hard with the effort. His eyes strayed to the test I held in my hand as though it held his death sentence.

"Oh, I don't know," I replied. "It takes three to five minutes to get the results. I just didn't want to leave the test in the bathroom. After all, it is the only bathroom and the last thing I need is for this whole thing to blow up over Christmas dinner."

I set the test on my nightstand and sat on the edge of my bed. Jacob soon joined me, and we waited. We were silent for a minute, though it had seemed like an hour. The silence was unbearable and I thought I'd go crazy if it continued.

"Jake, I can't stand it. Say something, please!"

"What can I say, Bells?"

I angled my body towards his. "Jake, I want to talk about what we would do, if," I glanced at the test. "…if this comes out positive. We don't need to decide anything definitively, but, I don't know, I guess I just need to talk this out."

"Sure, sure," he nodded, and I smiled at his usage of my favorite expression. "Well, we, _you_, have options." He looked at me pointedly.

"I know," I sighed. "But, there's only one option for me. I'd keep it. I couldn't bear to do anything else." I paused, not wanting to make eye contact with Jacob. "Are you okay with that?"

He held my hands in his. "Bells, I couldn't imagine any other way." He smiled and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Okay, so we'd keep it. So, what are we going to do about it? I mean, we've got school, which I can just barely afford. And, it's not like we make enough money to live on our own. Then, there's medical bills, insurance…" I trailed off, overcome with feelings of helplessness. Jacob pulled me onto his lap and held me.

"Bells, I know it feels like it, but we're not alone. We could live with Billy. He wouldn't mind. And, it's not like your mom wouldn't be supportive. I'm sure your parents' insurance would pay for the medical bills. And, it's not like Charlie's going to kick you out of his house…"

I smacked myself in the head. "Charlie! Holy Crow! He's going to go crazy! Maybe moving to Jacksonville isn't such a bad idea after all. He's going to kill you."

"Bells…"

"No, really. He's going to shoot you dead, then get his police buddies to help hide the body, and I'm going to be a single mother, and…"

"Bells, Charlie's not going to kill me." He scratched his head for a moment, seemingly unconvinced by the truth of his statement. "Okay, well, he's definitely going to be upset. Hmm, Jacksonville's sounding better by the minute."

I chuckled. "Yeah, like you'd leave the Pack and your family to move to Florida."

"Honey," he trapped my face between his large hands, his tone deadly serious. "Don't you know by now that I'd do _anything_ for you?"

"I know," I replied warmly. "I love you Jake, no matter what."

He leaned in so that his forehead rested against mine. "No matter what," he repeated.

We stayed like that, locked in an embrace for a while. I sighed deeply. "I think it's time." Jacob simply nodded. I grabbed the test from my nightstand with one hand, the other hand rested in Jacob's strong grip. I closed my eyes and said a prayer to the powers that be, then opened my eyes.

I almost fainted from shock when I read the results.

"Oh God," Jacob moaned. "It's not twins, is it?"

I looked at him like he was insane. "No, you idiot! These tests don't tell you that!"

"Oh, right," he smiled sheepishly. "Well, what is it? What does it say?"

I shook my head in disbelief and handed him the test.

"It…" I began slowly. "It says it's…_negative_."

"What?" Jacob nearly fell off the bed in his excitement. I shook my head and just sat there unable to grasp the gift I had been given.

"Bells, oh my god, that's, well, awesome doesn't even begin to cover it." He dropped the test and picked me up, swinging me around and kissed me, unable to contain his joy. I was still too shocked to react. When I didn't respond like he expected, Jacob set me down looking concerned.

"Honey, what is it? The test is negative. Why aren't you happy?"

I stood there, staring into space. "I don't know. I mean, I have all the symptoms. None of this makes any sense." I turned towards the nightstand and saw the packaging for the test. I read the instructions for the millionth time, convinced that I must have done something wrong. I kept reading until I got to a part that resonated in my mind.

"Don't get too excited Jake," I said darkly.

He sat down next to me. "Why? What did you read?"

"Here," I handed him the instructions. "It says that though it's nearly impossible to get a false positive, you still might get a false negative."

Jacob held the instructions and stared at me, willing me to explain.

"Jake, that means just because this test says it's negative, it doesn't mean I'm not pregnant. I mean, I still haven't had my period in two months." Jacob swallowed hard and focused all his attention on the ceiling. "I'm going to take another test," I said, as I got up to leave for the bathroom.

Three tests and about a gallon of water later, I was completely dumbfounded. All the tests were negative, yet, I wasn't jumping for joy. Sure, I was beyond thrilled that I had just dodged a bullet. But, I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I was still experiencing all the right symptoms and yet, had no baby _and_ no period.

After four consecutive negative tests, Jacob was incapable of suppressing his happiness. He held me in his arms, planting joyful kisses all over my face and hands. It warmed my heart to see him so happy again. Though, my mind was elsewhere.

I sat on Jacob's lap, letting him hold me in his arms. "Why aren't you happy, Bells?" His warm lips brushed against my hair.

"I'm just worried Jake. I mean, if I'm not pregnant, then what's wrong with me?'

Jacob's eyes darkened for a moment, but soon retained their natural depth and warmth. "Don't say that honey. Please, don't even think that way. Why does there have to be anything wrong? You've gone through so much these past two months. You were sick, you lost weight, you gained weight…you've been worried about bloodsuckers coming after you. The list goes on. Bells, you've been through a lot. Maybe your body is just trying to catch up?"

I smiled and nodded and gave Jacob a tender kiss on the lips. I wasn't thoroughly convinced that he was right, but I didn't have the energy to focus on the _what-ifs_.

By that time, the delicious aroma of food wafting up the stairs was impossible to ignore. I heard the front door open and a rush of people coming in, making their greetings. Jacob and I still had a lot to talk about, but I knew that it would all have to wait until later. I had Christmas dinner to host with friends and family in attendance. And though I knew our drama wouldn't remain secret forever thanks to Jacob's phasing, I took solace in the knowledge that it was solely our drama for the moment. I took a deep breath and put on a brave face. Jacob took my hand and stood up, leading me out the door. He paused at the top of the stairs, turning towards me. He bent down and hugged me close to his body. I melted into his embrace and wrapped my arms around his waist. I sighed contentedly. He pulled away and tucked a stray hair behind my ear, smiling wide.

"It's going to be okay, Bells," he said quietly.

We walked downstairs hand in hand. Everyone greeted us with warm smiles and holiday wishes. Charlie merely nodded at us with a nervous smile on his face. He was clearly concerned with why Jacob and I had been so preoccupied, but I could see in his eyes that he felt he was better off not knowing. But Renee, my poor mother looked terrified. Her eyes met mine from across the room. It was like no one else existed. All the activity in the room was reduced to a dull blur on the periphery of my vision. Her eyes pleaded with me to tell her the truth. I realized that she had suffered immensely from not knowing what was going on with her baby girl. I scanned the kitchen and saw that all the food she had helped me with was laid out beautifully. The room looked like the cover of a magazine. I wanted to put an end to her misery immediately, without drawing attention to myself. So, I shook my head just a fraction and offered her a nervous smile. A look of pure joy and relief spread across her face. Her smile lit up the room. She nodded curtly before anyone could take notice and returned to meeting and greeting our guests.

It was a wonderful meal. Everyone complimented me on a job well done. I credited Renee for helping me and insisted that none of it would have been possible if it hadn't been for her. Renee blushed at the compliment and quickly changed the subject.

Charlie seemed to be in a much better mood at dinner, and I realized that had everything to do with Sue's presence. There was nothing going on between them, as of yet. She had only lost her husband that spring. But, they had been spending more time together. And, it was clear to anyone who saw them that they were laying a strong foundation for a lasting relationship. Charlie's demeanor was always warmer, lighter when Sue was nearby. And, Sue seemed happier with Charlie. I knew she wasn't ready for a relationship with my father. You could see it in her eyes. But, she would be soon. Given enough time, Sue would realize that her happiness resided with Charlie. And, when that happened, they would embark on a new life together. I was happy to be a witness to the beginning of what was destined to be a wonderful romance, a second chance at love.

As I looked around the room, I saw several examples of the lasting power of second chances. After all, Renee had found Phil who both encouraged her flighty tendencies while keeping her grounded. I saw Leah, who was abandoned and betrayed by her first love and her cousin, only to end up in Jack's arms. Looking at the two of them together made me realize that all the pain she endured was worth it if it brought the two of them together. She was a stronger, harder, more severe person because of her past. But, it was clear that Jack wouldn't have had it any other way. And, then of course, there was my relationship with Jacob. I had been so focused on the so called perfection of my first love that I almost let Jacob slip away. He was proof that a second chance at love was worth all the risks. I squeezed Jacob's hand under the table and he smiled back at me as if he knew exactly what I was thinking.

As I ate, I mused over the odd assortment of guests we had assembled. We had werewolves and parents of werewolves. We had exes and we had siblings. And yet, everyone got along well. Renee was a charmer. She could charm anyone and make them feel comfortable in her presence. I realized suddenly why I had been drawn so easily to Alice. She had that same effect on people. I frowned briefly wondering why I didn't inherit that particular ability. Instead, I looked at Charlie who was engaged in a conversation with Billy. I chuckled to myself thinking that his aloofness and stubbornness were the things I inherited instead.

It was nice to see Jack again. He was dressed nicely in dress pants and shoes with a collared shirt hanging out messily from a dark gray sweater. He was the epitome of preppy chic which stood out in contrast to Leah's hard edged personality. And yet, he and Leah looked great together and complimented each other perfectly. Jack and I chatted briefly over dinner. He talked about how his apartment lease was about to expire and that he was looking for a bigger place, a place big enough for two. He eyed Leah pointedly and I could swear that she actually blushed. Sue surprised me by smiling happily and asking Jack more questions about his new apartment. I thought Sue couldn't look happier knowing that her daughter had found someone to love her. After the fiasco with Sam, Sue like everyone else, didn't think it would ever happen for her daughter. The smile alone on Leah's face was enough to endear Jack to Sue's heart.

When dinner was finished, everyone left the table and headed into the living room. Jacob, Renee and I cleared the table while Sue and Jack distributed the desserts. Jacob couldn't pass up pumpkin pie, so he soon joined the others in the living room. That left Renee and I with the dishes at the sink. I didn't mind. Doing the dishes was a monotonous, mind-numbing task. I was looking forward to it after the exhausting day I'd had. Of course, Renee had other plans. I washed the dishes while Renee dried. We were on a roll, making quick work of the mess when she asked the inevitable.

"So, Sue and Charlie, huh?"

I nearly dropped the plate I was scrubbing. I didn't expect Renee to address that particular subject, especially in light of everything I had put her through that day.

"It's strange," she continued. "I mean, when I think about it, she and Harry were so perfect together. Your father used to drag us out on double dates all the time. So much has changed since then. You know, I never stopped loving your father." She paused to convey the truth of her words to me. "But, we were never meant to be together for the long haul. I truly believe we were destined to be together only to have you. You've brought so much joy to our lives. And, I'm so glad you decided to live with your father when you did. You've made his life so much richer because of it. You know, this is the first time I've seen him when his eyes don't get sad when I'm around. The past is finally the past. I think he really and truly cares about Sue."

I smiled at my mother's astute observations. "Yeah, I know he does."

"Well, I for one am happy for him, for both of them."

"Me too."

Renee went back to drying for a few minutes before blindsiding me again. "So, are we going to talk about it?"

I focused on the dishes in the hot water and hoped that our guests were making enough noise in the living room to drown out our conversation. Although Renee was oblivious, I was painfully aware of the fact that a large portion of our guests had super human hearing, and would be privy to our conversation whether I liked it or not. I hoped she'd take the hint and avoid specific questions. The last thing I needed that night was for the whole Pack to know that Jacob and I had come entirely too close to becoming parents.

"Mom," my voice was a soft whisper. "I _do_ want to talk to you about it. I really do. But," I glanced over my shoulder at the crowded living room. "Now isn't the best time." She followed my gaze and nodded. I handed her another dish and she sighed. "I just want to make sure you're alright sweetie." Her demeanor changed slightly and I saw her taking a stronger, more authoritative stance. She spoke like a stern mother and not like the best friend she always tried to be. "I hope you realize just how serious this all is."

"Mom, I know. I do. And trust me when I say that this will not happen again. We'll be more careful from now on. I promise."

She wiped her hands on a dishtowel then pulled me into a hug that comforted me the way only a mother's hug could. "It must have been pretty traumatic. How are you feeling?"

"Physically, I feel exactly the same, which I don't get. I still feel all hormonal like my system's out of whack. I don't know what's wrong with me. Emotionally, I'm relieved, but confused. I guess…" I gasped and clutched my stomach, feeling a powerful cramp roll through my abdomen.

"Bella, what is it? Are you alright?"

I didn't know if he had been listening or whether it was just because he was so attuned to me, but the next thing I knew, Jacob was standing by my side looking extremely worried.

"Are you okay?" he asked, full of concern.

"Yeah, I'm just not feeling all that great. Excuse me."

I didn't wait for either of them to say anything and I just ran upstairs to the bathroom. When I walked out of the bathroom several minutes later, both Renee and Jacob stood in the hallway waiting for me. I smiled warmly at their concern.

"It's okay guys. I'm fine. I was just cramping and needed to take some Midol." I blushed in embarrassment. Renee released a breath she was holding and smiled.

"I'll see you downstairs then. We're about to open presents." She turned and walked down the stairs.

Jacob remained frozen where he stood looking utter confused. I took his hand in mine and patted it reassuringly. "I just got my period, Jake," I whispered softly.

"Oh," he replied. "OH!" I smiled and he followed me downstairs.

When we got downstairs we were just in time to open presents. We had decided weeks ago to just pick a name out of a hat and only buy that person a present. We limited the gifts to ten dollars or under. I sat on the floor near the tree, ready to distribute the gifts. Sue and Charlie sat on the couch next to each other while Billy was in his chair next to them. Phil sat in Charlie's recliner while Renee sat on the arm of the chair and leaned into him. Seth, Rachel, Paul and Jacob each took places on the floor near me. And Jack sat on one of the extra chairs with Leah sitting comfortably on his lap. Everyone looked happy. Even Paul was in a good mood. In that moment, I forgot all about the drama of the day. I was with my family and friends for Christmas. I realized just how much I had to be grateful for and my spirits brightened exponentially.

The presents were a big hit. Billy and Charlie had ended up picking each other. Billy gave Charlie a six-pack of his favorite beer, while Charlie gave Billy a box of live bait. I cringed but realized that they both probably thought they'd hit the jackpot.

Jack picked me and he opted for a gift certificate to a bookstore. "Hey," he said. "I thought I'd give you a reminder of where we met."

Everyone was happy with their gifts. The exchange went along rather smoothly until Jacob opened his gift from Paul. Paul had given Jacob a pair of white boxer shorts with mistletoe embroidered over the crotch. Jacob and I both blushed crimson. But, the worst part was when Paul shouted, "Hey Bella, don't forget to kiss Jacob under the mistletoe!"

I heard Charlie groan. His face was redder than mine. Jacob practically vibrated in anger. I placed my hand on his thigh to calm him. Rachel ended up smacking Paul across the head, which in itself calmed Jacob down considerably.

"What?" Paul cried indignantly, rubbing the back of his head as if Rachel had actually hurt him. But his protests were cut off as Rachel led him into the kitchen by the ear. "You're welcome bro," he yelled as Rachel led him out the backdoor, presumably to cool off. Jacob quickly tossed the offending boxers under the tree and pretended like nothing had happened.

The party started winding down. Rachel and Paul left first with Billy. Then Leah and Jack left with Seth in tow. Jacob promised Leah he'd bring Sue home later that night. Once they left, Jacob asked me if I wanted to go for a walk outside. There was snow on the ground and the air was cold and crisp. But, I thought I could use the fresh air after the day I'd had.

I ran upstairs and threw on my down jacket, wool beanie, boots and gloves. Jacob smiled when I charged down the stairs, eager to spend some alone time with him. He opened the door to lead me outside when Charlie called after him.

"Son, aren't you forgetting something?"

"What?" Jake asked confused. Charlie merely shook his head and pointed to the coat rack.

"You're forgetting your jacket! It's freezing outside."

"Oh, right." Jacob winked at me then put his jacket on and followed me outside. Before we closed the front door I heard Charlie talking to Sue.

"Sometimes that kid acts like he's invincible. I just don't get it."

"He's young Charlie," Sue replied. "He's young and in love. Of course he's invincible."

We walked down the front steps hand in hand. Jacob led me towards the tree line at the boundary of our property. I knew we weren't going into the woods tonight, but it looked as though Jacob wanted to stick close to the trees.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Jacob swiftly pulled his hand away from mine. Before I had a chance to protest, he took my glove off and replaced it with his own warm hand. Our fingers intertwined and I sighed happily, leaning into his warmth. His skin warmed me much more thoroughly than any piece of clothing I owned. We walked the whole perimeter of the property before either of us said a thing.

"So," he began tentatively, as we began another loop around the house. "How do you feel, really?"

"Well, aside from being crampy and bloated, I kind of feel…like an idiot."

"What are you talking about?"

"Are you kidding? I had a huge freak out over nothing. I had us convinced that we were going to have a baby and that our lives were ruined."

He stopped and caressed my face between his hands. His warm breath escaped his mouth in white puffs. "Bells, it was understandable. You said yourself, you had all the symptoms. And, besides, a baby would have changed our life, not _ruined_ it."

He took my hand again and continued walking. "Yeah," I huffed. "It's easy to say that _now_."

"Maybe," he conceded with a thoughtful smile. "You know, I'm kind of glad this happened," he added.

"You are?" I looked at him thinking he had lost his mind.

"Well, it's kind of a wake up call, isn't it? I mean, here we are, focusing all our energy on living our lives despite the threat of the Volturi hanging over our heads. We've been so worried about life and death situations, that we're ignoring the real life issues that face us. I mean, pregnancy is a natural, human thing to worry about. I guess that's what gets teenagers in trouble in the first place. They don't think it can happen to them. Well, I for one won't be so stupid next time."

I processed what he said as we continued walking. He was right. In choosing a life with Jacob, I had chosen a human life, and everything that entailed. I opted to go to college, to keep my family and friends, all in an effort to cherish my humanity. And yet, I felt that I had taken it all for granted. I wanted everything a human life could offer, but I had been surprised by the possibility of pregnancy. It was stupid and naïve. I was getting complacent about things.

Jacob also raised another point that I had been too blasé about. The Volturi…they threatened my very existence. They would kill me and everyone I loved when they realized I had no intention of becoming a vampire. And yet, I had thought it would be okay to bring a child into that equation? I didn't have the ability to protect myself. Instead, I had families of vampires and werewolves willing to lay down their lives for me. How would I have protected my own child? It was a sobering thought.

"You're right, Jake. I think this was just the wake up call we needed. And yet, a part of me wonders what it would have been like." The words escaped my mouth before I had a chance to think them through. He looked at me as though I had sprung another head.

"Are you serious? The way you were talking earlier, I didn't think that thought had ever occurred to you. Are you upset…you know, that you're _not_ pregnant?"

"No, god no," I insisted. "But, I guess it just reinforced the idea that having kids with you is something that I really do want. Six months ago, I was willing to give up the possibility of having children completely. I'm young. What do I want with kids anyway, right? But, then I changed. Having you in my life has changed me in ways I'd never dreamed. One kiss from you and I'm picturing the white picket fence with fat children and grandchildren in the offing." I squeezed his hand and continued. "You know, as bad as I felt today, and as much as the whole pregnancy thing scared me, it never once entered my mind that I didn't want a child. It was the fact that I just don't want one now. I love you Jake. And, I want to have kids with you. But, I want to have them when we're ready."

"You know, they say you're never really ready to have kids." He cocked his eyebrow and smirked at me.

"Yeah, yeah, so I've heard. But, we're not exactly in the 'if it happens, it happens,' stage of our lives either."

"That's true." He stopped and I turned back facing him. He bent down to kiss me softly on the lips. "I just want to tell you that I love you. You're a part of me. I couldn't live without you. I wouldn't want to. I'm so grateful that we're not having a baby right now, because I know how hard it would have been for us. But," he paused and angled my face up towards him. "But, I need you to believe that it wouldn't have been impossible. We both have friends and family who love us. We would have made it work, with school, work, _and_ the baby. I would have been able to protect you. You have to believe that."

I was captivated by the determined look in his eyes. He made me believe that anything was possible. I knew I'd be able to face anything with him by my side. I was overwhelmed by his love and threw my arms around his neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss. He lifted me up into his arms letting my legs dangle. I broke away before things got any more heated and rested my forehead against his. We stayed like that for a while, content to be wrapped up in each other's arms. He released his grasp slightly and eased me down his body, setting me on the ground. Our eyes met as my body brushed against his arousal. He merely shrugged and kissed me playfully on the nose.

We started walking again, this time Jacob's arm was draped across my shoulders, holding me close, shielding me from the cold. I wrapped my arm around his waist, tucking my exposed hand underneath his shirt so that I could siphon the warmth from his skin.

We made it back to the front of the house just as Phil and Renee were heading outside. I heard them saying their goodbyes to Charlie and Sue as they walked down the front steps. Phil held Renee's hand as they made their way down the icy walkway towards their rental car.

"You're leaving already?" I pouted. Renee took me in her arms and hugged me closely while Phil started the car to get the heater going. He popped back out of the car to shake Jacob's hand and to give me a hug. "Sorry about that kiddo," he said. "Your mom and I have been up for hours and we had a rough couple of days with all the weather delays."

"Yes," Renee added. "But don't you worry baby, we'll be here for a couple more days. Let's go and have lunch tomorrow. How's that sound?"

I kissed her on the cheek and let her go. Phil got back behind the wheel, waiting for Renee. She put one leg in the car, only to jump out again.

"Oh, Jacob, I forgot. I got you something while I was out today. You know, just in case things turned out differently."

Jacob scratched the back of his neck looking embarrassed. "Renee, you really shouldn't have."

"Oh, no, Jacob. I insist." She picked up a paper bag from her seat and withdrew a box which she then playfully shoved against Jacob's chest. He clutched it in his hands instinctively, so that it wouldn't drop to the ground. I wanted to crawl inside a hole in the ground when I saw that she had bought Jacob a box of condoms. And, then I turned beet red when I read that the box said "magnum" size. Jacob looked mortified.

"MOM?!"

"What? I took a wild guess." She winked at me and got in the car leaving Jacob and I in utter shock. She rolled down the window as they drove off. "I love you Bella. I'll call you tomorrow."

We stayed there watching the taillights disappear down the street. I turned to Jacob who still clutched the box of condoms to his chest. I finally recovered and said, "I'll take those." I pried the box out of Jacob's hands and unzipped my coat just enough to hide the box from Charlie and Sue's curious eyes.

I tugged at Jacob's arm and he reluctantly followed me up the path to the front door. "Your mom hates me," he whined. I shook my head, finally able to laugh about the situation. "She doesn't hate you Jake. If she hated you, I'm thinking she would have bought you small sized condoms."

I had to bite my lip to stop my laughing when I saw his face. "Why did you have to say that? You've just planted all these images in my head. And, I've gotta say, they're all mood killers."

"That was probably her plan all along. She can be pretty diabolical." That got a laugh out of him and I took his hand as we walked up the front porch steps. He stopped me before we could walk inside.

"Bells, I know this was a crazy day, but it was still the best Christmas I've ever had. I can't believe how lucky I am to have you in my life." He held me close and whispered, "Merry Christmas, Bella."

"Merry Christmas, Jake."

I took a hold of the doorknob and said, "I swear to God, if we walk in to find Sue and Charlie making out, I'm going to freaking lose it!"

Jacob's booming laughter followed me into the house.

**A/N: Okay, before you all start throwing things at me…I just have to say that I have personally experienced each and every one of Bella's symptoms, and have NOT been pregnant. Weird stuff happens. I thought it would be more important that those two became aware of the consequences than actually having to deal with them at this point in their lives. Anyway, I hope you all understand. I tried my hardest to get this chapter out to you all quickly. Of course, there's no guarantee that the next one will come out as fast. Please bear with me. My readers are the best out there and I really do appreciate all of you. Until next time…Erin.**


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do NOT!!!**

**A/N: Okay…this chapter took a lot longer than I thought it would. There's no real reason for the delay, other than that's just how long it took. I wish I could write faster, but I can't. So, thank you for being patient with me. I wanted to thank each and every one of you who read & reviewed the last chapter. I take the time to respond to each of you and I want you to know how grateful I am that you take the time to share your thoughts w/me. I would like to mention my anonymous reviewers, because I can't respond to you personally. So, thank you: Cinnamin, teamjacob, Kim C. Treat, Kandykane, Paola, Becca, AnonymousAussie, Caroline, mia, & bellsnjake. And of course, thank you to my beta Christine and also to my great friend Neha for all her help with this chapter. You really gave me a lot of inspiration, so thank you lots!**

**CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO **

The next morning, Renee took me out to Port Angeles for lunch and some "After Christmas" shopping. During lunch, we had a long talk. Suffice it to say, Jacob and I weren't going to get off the hook as easily as I had hoped. For all her "free love" attitude, Renee was a stickler when it came to birth control. While we ate, I was treated to an hour long lecture about the ins and outs of "safe sex." Her pun, not mine.

I sat and listened, because she offered me no other choice. It was nothing I hadn't heard before. Renee had given me the "sex talk" when I was ten years old. She felt that it was important that I learn early to avoid making any mistakes. I groaned in frustration as she emphasized the importance of taking the pill at the same time, everyday, and to be careful about mixing it with other medications. That last part would have proved more helpful had I been told that the first time around.

But, it was all moot. I never was pregnant. It was just a scare. And, I was someone who would definitely learn from her mistakes. If it meant going back to condoms in conjunction with the pill, then I would do it. It's not like that would be a hardship for me. I wasn't trying to ruin my life. And I was having a hard time being lectured to about something that didn't even happen.

By the time we were done eating, I had convinced Renee that she didn't have to worry about me. Though I couldn't help but feel bitter at the fact that Jacob got to avoid that terribly embarrassing conversation, and instead just got a box of condoms thrown at him. Either way, Renee seemed pleased and my title of "world's most responsible daughter" was quickly restored. All was well with the world.

We spent the rest of the afternoon shopping. And when I say we, what I really mean to say is that Renee shopped like a mad woman. She navigated the after Christmas sales like a real pro. I hung back in awe and watched her work her magic on unsuspecting sales clerks and the stifling crowds. She nearly put Alice's skills to shame. My mother insisted that she help me shop for college. She was almost as excited about my first semester as I was and she refused to listen to me when I told her that I didn't need anything else. Instead, we left the mall that day with a trunk-full of things like new bedding, books, and storage bins to make my generic dorm room look like it had some personality.

I had tried to put my foot down about her excessive shopping and spending. But, Renee could not be swayed. If it were up to her, all milestones would be marked by a shopping spree. She had a stern will that would not be denied.

Her enthusiasm invigorated me. In some ways, I thought she was trying to live vicariously through me. She never had a _true_ college experience. She was a young, single mother who worked herself to the bone juggling a toddler, school and work. She worked hard and she was proud of it. And, like most parents, she wanted her only child to have an easier, better life. I felt horribly guilty just thinking about the path I almost chose. So, if Renee went a little crazy with the whole college thing, then I decided to just suck it up and let her. I tried to look at her fussing as a "normal" bonding experience between mother and daughter. In the grand scheme of things, it would be an experience I would remember fondly when I was old and gray.

Renee stayed in town for the better part of a week. We spent a lot of time together. Since I got my mother in such small doses, it was nice to always make the most of our time together. Her care-free spirit always seemed to remind me that it was okay to live a little. By the time she and Phil left for Jacksonville, my first semester's tuition was paid in full. It was official. I would soon be going off to college.

Things settled down considerably once Renee and Phil left. My life returned to a pleasantly boring monotony. I went back to work and my daily routine. I was working long hours at Newton's. Though my first semester was paid for, I still had three and a half years of tuition to pay. I worked hard so that I could scrimp and save every penny. Jacob had the same mindset. He had a full scholarship, but that didn't stop him from working even harder. In fact, my honest opinion was that he was working too much. He worked longer hours than I did, including overtime on Saturdays. When you added on his pack duties and patrols, he was running himself ragged. He was like a man possessed. There was no rationalizing with him.

I admired his work ethic. He was bound and determined to make a decent life for us, and who was I to complain? So, I matched him to the best of my ability, and worked harder than I ever had before. That only left us with Sundays, and an evening here and there, where we could be together. Sadly, when we did have time together, he was usually trying to catch up on his much needed sleep. It was rough on both of us. But, I knew that even the best relationships had their rough patches. Sure, Jacob and I had already had our fair share in a short period of time. But, happiness came with sacrifice. And I understood that we'd be spending less time together now, for the benefits of spending our lives together later. The positives far outweighed the negatives.

Not being able to see Jacob all that much, also meant that I didn't see much of the Pack either. According to Jacob he had gotten pretty good at hiding his more personal thoughts from Leah and the guys. He was convinced it was one of the added benefits of being his own Alpha. I was glad to know that our baby drama wasn't common knowledge amongst the Pack. But, I did miss the fact that I didn't have anyone to talk to about my unresolved, conflicted feelings about my personal crisis.

As the days went by, Jacob became less and less open. It became clear, rather quickly, that the subject of "Babygate," (as I affectionately called it in my head), was no longer a topic he wanted to discuss. Since we had so little time together as it was, I didn't push him on it.

And yet, I needed someone to talk to about all my hopes, my fears, and the all around confusion I felt. I kept it all inside, which made me feel as though I was weighed down with a great burden. And I didn't want to bear the load alone. I couldn't confide in Leah. She was part of the Pack, and as much as she would try to keep my secrets, she just wasn't as versed in keeping things from her brothers while phased. And even if I dared tell her what was going on, she had enough on her plate that I would have felt guilty burdening her with my problems. She and Jack were moving in together. She was happy. The last thing she needed to deal with was my griping.

I also couldn't talk to Alice. She was still in Ireland with the rest of her family. Of course, if I told her, Edward would undoubtedly know something was wrong, and I didn't want him knowing this particular piece of my business. I could always call Renee, but I didn't want her worrying about me. So, I gave Angela a call. She was still home on semester break and we decided to have lunch together. It was nice spending time with her. I felt comfortable telling her about what I had been going through. With true compassion, she reassured me that what I was feeling was normal and that Jacob probably just needed time to get to the same place. She helped me face the coming weeks with a true sense of hope that things would eventually get back to normal. I was grateful to have her in my life.

About a week into January, I found myself driving home from work, exhausted from a particularly long shift at Newton's. I wanted to go upstairs, stand in a hot shower and get into my comfy clothes while I waited for Jake to come over and watch movies with me. Of course, fate had other plans.

I walked into the house, throwing my purse and keys to the floor haphazardly. I hung up my jacket and walked into the kitchen, thinking an ice cold glass of water sounded refreshing. I was so focused on the refrigerator that I failed to notice Charlie sitting at the table. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the furious look on his face.

Charlie sat at the table, facing me, with his arms folded stiffly across his chest. The angry look in his eyes alone might have had me running for the hills. But, what really did me in was the fact that his shotgun was lying on the table between him and a paper bag I recognized as the one that happened to be filled with pregnancy tests. I took a couple more hesitant steps closer so I could brace myself against the back of one of the dining room chairs. I stared at Charlie, wide-eyed and completely dumbfounded. I was at a complete loss for words.

"Well," Charlie huffed. His gaze strayed down to the gun on the table and up towards my stomach. "Am I going to have to use this?" he asked angrily.

This could not be happening. I panicked. Rather than answer him, I took the coward's way and became defensive. "You looked through my things?" I demanded incredulously, even though I knew I had no leg to stand on.

Charlie stood up abruptly, knocking his chair over in his haste. I flinched as the chair crashed onto the linoleum floor with a bang. I'd never seen Charlie look so angry. The heated look in his eye told me I wasn't dealing with the mild-mannered father I had known all my life. Rather, he was the hard-assed Police Chief who wasn't going to put up with my evasions any longer.

"No, I wasn't looking through your things. I was fixing the leaky faucet in the bathroom and had to move things out from under the sink. I knocked the bag over and these fell out. Now, are you going to tell me what the hell is going on, or do I have to call your mother to get it out of you?"

I bowed my head and whispered, "She already knows."

I chanced a glance in Charlie's direction and he looked floored. "What do you mean she already knows?"

I stammered, realizing I had let this conversation get grossly out of hand. "I mean, she bought the tests for me…when she was here. But…"

"And, she's what, okay with this? When did this…oh God. Is this why you were acting so crazy during Christmas? That's it. I'm going to _kill_ him!"

Everything was happening so fast. Yet, I found it odd that for the briefest moment, time seemed to stand still and I thought back to my conversation with Jacob on Christmas Day. I'd told him with confidence that Charlie would kill him and get his police buddies to hide the body. It was the most inappropriate time to have such thoughts, but all I could think was that if Jacob were there, I'd say "Told you so."

I finally snapped out of it when Charlie reached for his gun. He couldn't possibly be serious, could he? He loved Jacob like a son. I blurted out, "I'm _NOT_ pregnant!"

He froze and stared at me disbelievingly. "Dad, I swear to you, I'm not pregnant."

Charlie bent down to pick up the fallen chair and slumped back down with his elbows on the table and his head in his hands. I heard him mumble under his breath, "I'm too old for this."

I pulled out the chair opposite him and sat down tentatively. "Were you ever going to tell me?" he asked.

"Well, since it was negative, I didn't really see the point. I wanted to avoid…well, _this_. I didn't think you'd be able to handle it."

"But, your mother could?" His tone was hurt. But, before I could say anything, he shook his head and changed the subject.

"So, would you have told me if you were…you know?"

"Well," I chuckled slightly in an attempt to dispel some of the tension in the room. "I think the big old belly in nine months might have given it away."

The stern look he gave me told me it was not the time to make light of the situation. I sat up straighter in my chair. He sighed. "Bells, you _have_ to be more careful. You're both practically children. I feel like you're playing grown up with no idea how hard it actually is. You both have a bright future ahead of you. Do you really think you're going to be able to go to school _and_ take care of an infant? I work all day. Your mom is three thousand miles away. And Jake's not even an adult himself. This is just the worst possible thing…"

"Dad, I know. Believe me when I say this. I know how serious this is. We're well aware of how a baby could change our lives. Do you really think none of that occurred to me? We're not about to let that happen. We were scared straight, okay?"

He sighed deeply and said, "I'm too young to be a grandfather."

"Just a second ago you were saying you were too old for this."

"Watch it, Bells. I'm still not exactly pleased with you at the moment."

"Dad, I know. We've learned our lesson. Believe me. Just, please don't be angry with Jake. We're not taking this lightly. We've been…careful. And, we'll be…more careful. God…" I was mortified, and by the bright color of Charlie's face, I'd say he was feeling the same way. We sat in awkward silence for several minutes.

"Bells, can I ask you something? Why so many tests?"

My answer was simple and to the point. "Renee."

He nodded, as though that was a logical explanation.

"Dad, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Were you really going to threaten Jacob with your gun?"

He paused thoughtfully. "I guess we'll never know." He grinned at my shocked expression and picked up his gun to go put it away. As he fumbled in his bedroom closet upstairs, I sat at the kitchen table thinking that I had just literally dodged a bullet. Charlie and I had gone through an emotional roller coaster in a matter of minutes. I felt terrible thinking how long he must have sat there at the table, seething in anger, just waiting for me to come home. Our talk seemed to have calmed him down considerably, but something told me that he'd be having a long discussion with Renee very soon.

Charlie came back downstairs and grabbed a beer from the fridge. "So," he said as he popped the cap. "What are your plans for this evening?"

"Oh, well," I paused, fumbling with a paper napkin left on the table. I had torn it to pieces with all my nervous energy before I realized I hadn't finished my thought. "Um, Jake was going to come over for dinner and we planned to just stay in and watch movies or something. Nothing special."

He nodded and took a long sip of his beer. "Humph," he grunted. "I'll probably head up to bed soon. I have an early shift in the morning."

"Oh…okay." Our poor attempt at making small talk was awkward at best. I was relieved when I heard a knock at the door, thinking Jacob had finally come to rescue me from this humiliating experience. Charlie looked through the window and groaned.

"Dad, don't treat Jake like that, please. He didn't do anything wrong."

"I'll be the judge of that," he muttered. "And Jake's not here. It's Edwin."

Edward was here? That meant The Cullens were back from Ireland. I was excited to see them, especially since they'd been gone for so long. I looked at Charlie who was back to frowning and looking angry.

"Dad, that whole Edwin thing is getting old. We all know you know his name is Edward."

I sighed, standing up and heading for the front door. "Yeah," Charlie replied. "But, I can't deal with him today. Give your father a break and make it quick. He really grates my cheese." His voice trailed off as he walked passed me into the living room. I heard him mutter something under his breath along the lines of "sanctimonious punk." I shook my head knowing Edward had heard every word. I grabbed my jacket and put it on, as I walked out the front door.

Edward was waiting for me at the bottom of the porch steps. He smiled disarmingly, his hands in his coat pockets, and shrugged. "Still doesn't like me, huh?"

I walked down the steps and gave him a tentative hug. "Sorry about that, Edward. Believe it or not, that wasn't all about you. He's kind of had a rough day."

But Edward didn't seem to be listening to me. Instead, he looked right through me and I knew he was honing in on Charlie's thoughts. He shrugged again and said, "Hmm, I guess it's not all bad. He was just thinking that at least I didn't almost get you…"

He froze mid-sentence. If Edward was human, the blood would have rushed from his face. As it was, he stood stock still, his eyes wild and accusatory. I groaned aloud because I knew exactly what Edward had heard Charlie thinking.

"You're…are you…?" It was rare to see Edward so flustered. I was annoyed that he eavesdropped in on Charlie's thoughts. Just because he _could_ read people's minds, didn't mean he _should_. He prided himself on the fact that he'd mastered his control, his vampire impulses over decades of practice. I always found it interesting that he could resist the urge to drink blood, but he couldn't be bothered to even try staying out of someone else's mind. He never learned. Of course, I had no intention of Edward ever finding out about the pregnancy scare, because, well, I didn't feel it was any of his business. But, now that he knew, I couldn't just ignore it.

"No, Edward," I sighed heavily. "I'm not pregnant."

He released a relieved sigh and closed his eyes slowly, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

"Oh, thank God," he moaned. Then his whole demeanor changed. He took a step towards me and asked in a stern voice, "Bella, how could you let that happen? How could that mutt be so careless? I…"

"Alright, stop it right there!" Edward fell silent and flinched at my angry tone. "I've already gone toe to toe with my father over this today. And, last I checked, _you_ are not my father."

"But, Bella…"

"No," I held my hand up. "Edward, it's none of your business. It was scary, it was traumatic, but it's _over_. I'm well aware of the consequences of my actions. And, I'm not going to let you use this as yet another reason to bash Jacob. Now, if you can't handle that, then go home, because I have nothing else to say to you."

His mouth opened and closed a few times, but he remained silent. His eyes told me that he had plenty more to say on the subject, but I was pleasantly surprised when he dropped it. I was grateful for that because I was already so tired. It seemed like all we ever did was fight, and I didn't want to fight with him anymore.

Edward fidgeted then broke the silence. "I'm sorry. You're right. It's none of my business. I just worry about you. I can't help it."

The words were nice enough, but his eyes betrayed the depth of his feelings. The hurt look in his eyes was exactly why I didn't want to tell him anything about it. He still loved me. He still thought of a future with me. Even though vampires couldn't have children, the thought of me having a child with Jacob, so soon, was the ultimate slap in the face. I sat down on the cold hard stoop. Edward followed my lead and sat down on the last step, his long legs spread out in front of him. He leaned back against the railing and looked up at me pleadingly.

"I really am sorry for what I said. I don't want to fight with you. I missed you. I was cooped up with my family for weeks. I never really felt like the odd man out with them until I lost you. To say it was rough, would be putting it mildly."

"Edward, I'm…"

"No, you don't have to say anything. Bella, we're friends, right? I was just venting to my friend." He looked into my eyes and flashed me his crooked smile. I grinned in return.

I looked up and noticed a shiny, black SUV parked on the street in front of my house.

"So," I gestured towards the car. "I see you haven't been idle since you got back. Is that another Volvo?"

He smiled. Normally, I wouldn't know one car from another, which was a constant annoyance to Jacob who loved and appreciated all things cars. Even Edward, for that matter, had been sadly disappointed when I didn't pant and drool over his Aston Martin. But, since I was now a Volvo driver, I prided myself in recognizing the brand.

"Yes, well the Aston Martin is a bit conspicuous for this small town. And the motorcycle, well that's a bit flashy for everyday driving as well. And I refuse to drive your F-," he stopped abruptly with a panicked expression on his face. I gave him a confused look in return and laughed nervously because I had no idea what he was talking about.

"Well, anyway," he continued, brushing a nervous hand through his perfectly disheveled hair. "I had to buy something."

"I like it," I nodded appreciatively.

The crisp, winter air seeped steadily into my bones. I shivered and stuffed my hands deeper into my coat pockets and hugged myself tighter against the chill.

"By the way, Alice is practically chomping at the bit to see you. Of course, everyone else wants to see you as well, but you know how Alice is. She pretty much said you'd be coming over tomorrow, so she wanted me to officially invite you. She's missed you terribly." The way he said it made it clear that he was really referring to himself.

"Sure, sure," I replied. "I'll come over tomorrow afternoon."

We chatted for a while. He told me that Carlisle and Esme were still abroad recruiting allies, but that everyone else had returned. He regaled me with tales of Emmett's antics in Ireland, which provided constant entertainment for the whole family. Our laughter soon dwindled into a comfortable silence. I watched Edward as he looked out into the neighboring forest and I felt an overwhelming sense of love from him. We had been through so much together, good and bad. Not many people could claim to have a first love as all encompassing and exciting as mine. But, I wasn't naïve. I knew my friendship took a toll on him. It pained me to know that one day it all might become too much for him, and I'd lose him from my life forever.

"Bella? Bella? Have you even been listening to me?" Edward's amused tone pulled me out of my thoughts. "What were you thinking about just now?" he asked curiously.

"Nothing important," I hedged. "Sorry, what were you saying?"

He eyed me warily before continuing. "Well, I wanted to tell you that I've decided to go back to medical school. I'm enrolled for the spring semester in Seattle."

"Really? Don't you have like ten medical degrees or something?"

"Almost, but not quite." He smiled indulgently. "Being with you, being able to _resist_ your blood…well it's made me think I can do it. I can follow in Carlisle's footsteps and find some meaning in this interminable existence. All the education is there. I've just never put it to practice. I don't think I was ready before. But, I'm confident that I can do it now. I don't think I can bear another stint in high school. I don't expect that the charade will be easy. But, Alice assures me that she can perform wonders with make-up and glasses to make me appear older than I look. It's worth a try."

The light mood didn't last long though, because Edward stiffened and stood up. Before I could ask what was wrong I saw Jacob's Rabbit turn onto my street. I stood up and walked down the steps towards the sidewalk while Jacob parked and got out of the car. He smiled nervously in my direction before turning his attention on Edward.

He then ambled up the walkway, stopping beside me. We suffered through an awkward silence, staring at each other uncomfortably. I could only imagine what Edward might be hearing in Jacob's mind. And, I hoped that Jacob was trying to think of anything but our personal lives together. After a few minutes had passed, Edward turned to me and said, "Well, Bella, I really need to go. But, don't forget about tomorrow. Everyone's anxious to see you."

"I'll be there," I replied. Edward turned towards his car. He nodded to Jacob in greeting saying only, "Jacob." Jacob nodded in return with a simple, "Edward." And then Edward drove off leaving Jacob and I alone.

"What was that about?" I asked.

"What?" He looked somewhat offended. "I thought I was being nice."

"You were. What's up with that?"

He laughed and bent down to kiss me. I lifted my chin so that our lips could meet, but at the last moment he hesitated and placed a kiss on my forehead instead. He gave me a _friendly_ hug, completely oblivious to the frown on my face and said, "I don't know. I guess it's just that he hasn't done anything to annoy me in a while."

"That's because he hasn't been here in a while," I retorted.

"Exactly!" He concluded happily. I frowned again, but he just rolled his eyes. "And," he continued, "I know how upset you get when we fight. I guess I just wanted to make peace, at least…I don't know. Can we just leave it at that?"

"Sure."

He took my hand. "Jesus, Bells. You're freezing. Let's get you inside."

Up until that point, I had been frustrated with Jacob's behavior. He was treating me like his buddy, and not his girlfriend. But, when he took my hand, I felt the familiar warmth, that spark that only he gave me, spread throughout my body. He loved me. I knew that. It was in his eyes and in the way his thumb rubbed circles over the top of my hand. We still had the rest of the night to be together. Maybe seeing Edward for the first time in weeks had thrown him off of his game.

Jacob had me so distracted that I didn't even realize he was leading me into the house. I froze and tugged on his arm with a panicked look on my face. He stopped when he saw I wasn't moving and eyed me worriedly.

"Um, Jake, I think we should go out to eat instead. Or, maybe just hang out at your place."

"What? Why? What happened to just hanging out here? Besides, my place is out because Rachel and Paul are having a date night." His face wrinkled in disgust, and I groaned in frustration.

"Fine, we'll just go to the diner or something. Just trust me on this."

I eyed the front door warily and tugged on Jacob's hand leading him to his car. Jacob followed me shaking his head in confusion at my strange behavior. Then he paused, as though he was listening intently. "Is Charlie cleaning his gun?" he asked, as I pushed him ahead of me.

Oh God, I thought. "Come on, let's get out of here."

"Bella, what's going on?"

I looked back towards the house and saw the curtain in the kitchen window pulled to the side. Charlie's profile looked menacing, to say the least. And I could swear I saw the moonlight glinting off the edge of his shotgun. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Overkill much, Dad? I pulled Jacob towards his car and got in. "Drive," I said anxiously. "I'll explain over dinner." As we sped off into the night, I could swear I saw Charlie break into robust laughter as he lingered by the window.

The next day I visited The Cullens. After the requisite greetings, we gathered around the couches in the pristine living room to catch up. I was lavished with Christmas gifts. It was useless to protest. I was actually rather pleased with them, seeing as how most of the gifts were college or dorm room related. I couldn't really complain since it was all things I could use like a toaster oven, and a mini refrigerator. I was actually getting comfortable with receiving their gifts. That is, until I opened my gift from Alice.

I opened the small, perfectly wrapped package to find a high tech watch that looked like it easily cost more than my first semester's tuition. Alice fastened it to my wrist, eyeing it proudly and said, "It's perfect. Now, we can keep an eye on you even when my visions fail."

My senses were immediately on high alert. Something about what Alice said just didn't sit right with me. Jasper groaned, and in a flash, he, Rosalie and Emmett vacated the room leaving me alone with Alice and Edward. Edward sat back on the sofa and shook his head.

"I told you she wouldn't go for it Alice."

I looked between them, knowing that I had clearly missed an important piece of information.

"What wouldn't I go for?" I asked. Edward looked smug, while Alice looked like she had just been caught with her hand in a cookie jar. "What's going on?" I urged.

"Bella," Alice began in a placating tone that annoyed me to no end. "You told me that you didn't want us going to school with you; that you wanted to have your own college experience. Well, we decided that we'd follow Edward to Seattle. I mean, we have to stay in Forks as long as The Volturi are still a threat. But, we'd be less conspicuous if we all 'went away' to college. Anyway, it's really the best option, because we'd be able to give you your space, but we'd still be close by if you needed us."

"O-kaay," I said, with a tentative voice. The tension in the room was palpable, but I seemed to be the only one left in the dark. "That sounds great. But, what does that have to do with this watch," I held my wrist up, "and you _keeping an eye on me_?"

Edward leaned forward and tapped the watch's glass face. "Alice had this watch equipped with a state of the art GPS and heart monitoring system. If you're wearing it, it'll track you anywhere in the world. And, the heart monitor will let us know if you're afraid or in danger. Since she can't see The Volturi, and since you insisted on doing the college thing alone, she wanted to be able to keep tabs on you." My mouth dropped open in realization. Edward squeezed my hand quickly and said, "I told her it was a bad idea."

Alice glared at Edward like he was a traitor. He winced and I knew she had shared some pretty harsh words with him in her mind.

I stared at the watch in stunned silence while I processed everything. Then, my stoic acceptance turned into disgruntled rage. I turned on Alice. "You had me lojacked?" I cried indignantly. "What am I, your pet?" I tore the watch off and tossed it on the couch where it landed next to Alice.

"Bella, of course we don't think of you like that. But, it seemed like the only way that we could protect you. We can't just throw you to the wolves unprotected."

"Oh snap!" Emmett shouted from upstairs. His outburst was quickly followed by a loud smack, which sounded like a wrecking ball hitting a granite slab. More than likely, it was probably the sound of Rosalie's hand hitting the back of Emmett's head.

I glared at Alice. I loved her like a sister, but I had never been so angry with her. She seemed to catch her own misstep and said, "That was a poor choice of words. I didn't mean it like that Bella, really. It's just a common phrase. I didn't mean to say that the wolves-that _Jacob_ couldn't protect you."

"Didn't you?" I snapped back. "Because, that watch seems to tell me exactly that, that only you can protect me."

Alice flinched under my assault. She actually looked surprised, which shocked me, because she should have seen that I would have reacted that way. "Grrrr!" I growled in frustration. I got up to pace in front of the large screen television. Edward wore an amused grin as he watched me walk back and forth. He looked happy that for once my anger wasn't directed towards him. Alice, on the other hand, looked hurt and confused. After taking a few calming breaths, I walked back over to Alice and sat next to her, taking her hand in mine.

"Alice, I love you. I know you're just trying to help. But, I refuse to live my life that way. I won't have you monitoring my every step."

"But, Bella," she cried. "I can't see The Volturi. They can show up at any time. I can't just…"

"Yes, you _can_ 'just'. You have to let me live as normal a life possible. I'm not defenseless. Think about it. I'll be living in a public setting with thousands of witnesses around me at any given time. If The Volturi are so concerned with their anonymity, then I don't think they'd try something as stupid as attacking me in my dorm, or in my classes. And, at night, I'll have a roommate, and some nights, hopefully, I'll have Jake close by." Edward shifted in his seat looking uncomfortable at the mention of Jacob's name. I sighed in defeat. My case was made. Alice would have to take it or leave it.

"Alright," she muttered half-heartedly. "But, that's still no guarantee that they won't find a way…"

I held up my hand, effectively silencing her. Edward looked on, back to his smug self. "Look, you guys will all be around. I have Jake and the Pack. Plus, Leah just moved into an apartment with her boyfriend in Port Angeles, so she'll be close by too…"

"Bella…"

I rolled my eyes. God, she was persistent. If I thought Alice was pushy and demanding before, I had seriously underestimated her prowess.

"Alice, look at it this way. You can't see me when I'm with Jacob. So, you're practically blind when it comes to me anyway. You'd think you'd be used to it by now. The Volturi haven't called or sent any more agents our way. We all know Aro likes to play his games. I think he'll contact us again before he tries something as drastic as attacking me in plain sight."

"Bella, there's no guarantee that we'll be able to keep you safe."

"You're right Alice. There are no guarantees. I don't know what it's like when you can live forever, but when you only have one lifetime, you learn pretty quickly that there are no guarantees. I've accepted that, consequences and all. You need to understand this. I'm not going to be tagged and released like some wild animal. I'm not budging on this."

Edward sat back into the plush couch cushions with a look of pride on his face. He winked at me and flashed me his trademark grin. I couldn't help but smile back and feel like we were co-conspirators. Gone were the days when I'd let Alice run rough-shod over me, regardless of her good intentions. I only had one life to live and I was going to live it according to my own plan and no one else's.

"Alright, fine," Alice's sweet voice chimed in. "I'll back off. But, I only do these things because I love you, Bella. I don't want to see anything happen to you."

"Well, that's the beauty of it Alice. You _can't_ see anything bad happen to me. You're blind remember?"

Her eyes narrowed into an intimidating scowl. I cowered back slightly, feeling as though my morbid sense of humor had gone too far.

"That's not funny, Bella!" Alice stormed off leaving me alone in the living room with Edward. I saw him watching me.

"You have a rather smug look on your face, Edward. You found all this amusing, I see."

He chuckled. "I did, actually. I told her it wouldn't work. She saw that it wouldn't work. But, she tried to convince you anyway."

"I know. Can you believe her? Like I really need to be monitored at all times…"

"Don't get me wrong," he interjected. "If I could have my way, I'd have you chained to my side twenty-four seven, just so I could keep an eye on you. I'd follow you everywhere you went for as long as you lived."

I sighed and thought sadly, '_Now that's the Edward I know_.' "But," he continued with a smirk on his face. "If the past year has taught me anything, it's that Bella Swan is a force to be reckoned with. And, now Alice knows that too."

"Do you think I was too hard on her?"

"Not at all. Though, I'd say your new aggressiveness probably stems from the company you keep."

I glared at him and got ready to lay into him when he laughed and held his hands up in surrender. "I'm just teasing you Bella. Besides, I think it's great that you're more aggressive. You know what you want, and you're not afraid to tell anyone. It's an attractive quality for a young woman to have. I really admire that about you." He brushed his hand through his hair and looked off in the direction Alice had taken when she stormed out. "Don't worry about Alice. She'll get over it."

And she did get over it. The next day we were talking on the phone like nothing had happened. I counted my blessings for being able to say that I got one over on Alice Cullen. But, I would be wary. A part of me knew to beware of Alice bearing gifts. She was persistent. But, I couldn't dwell on that. I had bigger fish to fry.

January was in full swing before Charlie could even look me or Jacob in the eyes again. He wasn't naïve. He knew Jacob and I had been having sex. But, to be presented with indisputable evidence to that fact, was just too much to handle. I felt bad for him. Obviously, the man was ill-equipped to deal with the trials and tribulations of a teen-aged daughter. Granted, I knew I had a way of making things harder for him. But, it didn't escape my notice that he seemed to pick up on the fact that I wasn't getting any. So, with a smug air about him, he gradually let his anger over the pregnancy scare pass. And, Jacob was once again welcomed into our home with open arms. Albeit, those open arms did tend to hold a shotgun in them more often than not.

Another week passed and my excitement grew as my first semester of college rapidly approached. I had my hands full with preparations. I also had Jacob's birthday to look forward to, though he didn't seem inclined to celebrate much. His mood had darkened some since Christmas. We hadn't been intimate since then, and it was starting to wear on me. At first, I felt it was understandable. After all, we had shared a pretty traumatic experience. But, it had been weeks and Jacob hadn't laid one "inappropriate" hand on me. I figured he just needed some time to fully cope with the experience. So, I waited for him to make the first move. But, the days passed and nothing changed. I got tired of waiting. I had a new mission to focus on. I was going to make his birthday a memorable one.

By the time Jacob's birthday finally rolled around, I was more than ready to _be_ with him. I had the house to myself all weekend. Charlie and Billy were going on their first fishing trip of the year. At first, Charlie had planned on going to their usual spot and just spending the day there. He didn't like the idea of leaving Jacob and I with ample opportunities to be together. But, on Billy's insistence, they decided to check out a spot farther up north that would require them to stay the weekend. Billy was a proud advocate of my relationship with Jacob. He and Jacob were close. Lord knows Jacob would have told him about our problems. I think taking Charlie away for the weekend was his way of encouraging us to work through our issues. And, I loved him for it.

Jacob told me that he wanted a low-key birthday, nothing special. So, I suggested that we just stay in all weekend and enjoy being alone. I got off work Friday night and headed straight for the grocery store. I bought enough food to feed an army, or at least a few ravenous werewolves. I wanted the cupboards and refrigerator stocked so that we wouldn't have to leave the house for anything. Jacob had made my birthday a night I would never forget. I planned on making him feel just as important, so that we could finally close this distance that had grown between us.

When I got home, I quickly ran inside to call Jacob, thinking I could unload the car later. I wanted to find out when he would be coming over. He picked up the phone on the fourth ring, which I immediately found odd, considering the fact that he usually jumped for the phone.

"Yeah?" He sounded annoyed.

"Jake, it's me."

"Oh, hey Bells. What's up?"

I bit my lip and twirled the phone cord around my fingers. Jacob didn't seem all that excited to hear from me.

"Well," I began nervously, kicking myself for feeling so uncomfortable while talking to my soulmate. "I was just wondering when you were coming over so that I could get dinner started. I went to the store and stocked up on all your favorites, and…" I trailed off because it seemed like he wasn't even listening to me.

"Jake?"

"Um, Bells. There's been a slight change in plans."

Oh no, I thought. Had things gotten so bad between us that he wanted to cancel on me?

"I was wondering if maybe you could just come over to my place."

I breathed a sigh of relief. Jacob just wanted to change venues, and not cancel completely. I could handle that. But, I feared we'd have some obstacles standing in our way of a quiet weekend together.

"Sure, I can do that. But, aren't Rachel and Paul going to be there? It might get a little crowded don't you think?"

"No, don't worry about them. They're on a date. They won't be back until late."

"Oh, well, okay then. It's your birthday; anything you want. I just need to pack a bag and then I'll come right over."

"Great, see you soon," he replied, and then promptly hung up the phone just as I said, "I love you."

I hung up the receiver, feeling disappointed. I was sure Jacob had just had a rough day at work and didn't want to leave the comforts of his own home. I respected that. I just hoped his spirits would improve once I got there. Of course, the way to a man's heart was through his stomach, and I did have a lot of food to bring over. I'd have Jake eating out of my hand before the night was over.

I went upstairs and quickly packed an overnight bag with all the essentials I would need for an amazing weekend with Jake. I made sure to pack some sexy lingerie that Jacob would find impossible to resist. I put everything together, then grabbed his birthday present and got in my car to set out for La Push.

As I drove, I glanced at Jacob's present sitting on the passenger seat. He'd said that he didn't want anything, but I knew he needed a cell phone. It was a constant bone of contention with us that I couldn't get a hold of him when he was phased. He always complained that it drove him crazy that he couldn't check in with me either. So, I bought him a phone along with a beautiful suede pouch in which to store it. The beauty of the pouch was that he could tie it around his ankle when in wolf form. After I had made him the promise bracelet for Christmas, I figured I'd try my hand at yet another craft. So, I bought the materials and made the pouch myself. I thought that added touch would make Jacob happy.

I pulled into the gravel driveway of Jacob's home. The house was dark, save for the warm glow emanating from the living room window. Jacob was inside waiting for me, and I couldn't wait to see him any longer. I cut the ignition and grabbed his gift leaving everything else in the car. Jacob would want to help me bring the groceries in anyway.

I walked in the front door, knowing it would be unlocked. I sang out, "Happy Birthday, Jake," holding up his present in my hands. I wasn't remotely prepared for the sight that greeted me as I walked into the living room. Jacob was lounging on the couch with Quil and Embry sitting on either side of him, fully immersed in a basketball game on the television.

"Hey Bella!" Quil and Embry greeted me enthusiastically. Jacob got up off the couch slowly and walked over to me. He gave me a weak smile and hugged me. My surprise dissipated a bit as I was enveloped in his familiar warmth. I closed my eyes and melted into his embrace, as all my doubts and fears regarding his recent behavior flew away.

"Happy Birthday, Jake," I whispered into his chest. His arms squeezed me tighter and he kissed the top of my head. "Thanks, Bells."

Quil had sidled up next to us and snatched Jacob's present out of my hands.

"Hey!" I cried.

"Wow, thanks Bella. You shouldn't have."

Quil was quick, but Jacob was faster. He took a step towards Quil and grabbed the gift out of his hands, smacking him across the back of his head. "She didn't," he insisted with a smug grin on his face. "Now, go make yourselves useful and unload Bella's car."

Quil mumbled as he rubbed the back of his head and walked out the door. Embry jogged past me, following after Quil, and flashed me an amused grin. I stood in the middle of the room, still unsure of what was going on. Why were Quil and Embry here in the first place? We could have had my house to ourselves. Yet, he invited me over to his place, knowing full well that we wouldn't get a minute of privacy. I was annoyed, but also very confused.

Jacob quickly unwrapped his present and smiled when he saw the phone and laughed happily when he saw the suede pouch. "Thanks, Bells. I love it. I guess you've finally dragged me into the 21st Century, huh?" He bent down and kissed me chastely on the lips. I deepened the kiss and he gave in to me for one glorious moment. I felt his tongue gently glide over my bottom lip. I moaned at the sensation. I couldn't help myself. It had been so long. But, then he pulled back abruptly with a small blush on his cheeks and the moment was over. Well, I thought to myself. At least I'm making some progress with him. Jacob plugged the phone in to charge it while I watched Embry and Quil wrestle outside instead of actually bringing in the groceries. I rolled my eyes at their antics and turned to Jacob.

"So, are they staying for dinner?"

He looked up from fiddling with his phone and asked, "Who, Quil and Embry? Well, yeah. It's kind of a tradition, us hanging out on our birthdays. Why, is there a problem?"

He didn't meet my eyes and the tone of his voice suggested that he knew it was more than likely an issue. But, I didn't want to upset him or start a fight on his birthday. So, I said, "No, it's not a problem at all." I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around his waist. I looked up into his dark eyes. "I just thought we'd be spending the weekend…_alone_. I've missed you. I've missed us."

Our eyes met and I caught a haunted look in his eyes. It was gone as quickly as it appeared making me question if I had really seen it in the first place. He took a step back from me and gently caressed my arms. It didn't go unnoticed by me that he was essentially keeping me at arm's length. He smiled though it didn't quite reach his eyes. With a slightly pained look on his face, he said, "Bells, we will be alone…_later_. Don't worry."

Before I could reply, he left my side to help the guys with the groceries. I ignored their playful banter as I took off my coat and placed it on the couch. What was going on with Jacob? His body language was baffling to me. His eyes, his very soul told me that he wanted to touch me, hold me, _be_ with me. But, he kept holding back. I was starting to think that it was more than just the pregnancy scare that created this chasm between us. Maybe it was me.

I didn't have a chance to dwell on my fears, nor did I have an opportunity to confront Jacob. Embry helped me bake lasagna, one of Jacob's favorite meals, while Jacob and Quil played video games. We ate dinner and had a pleasant enough conversation, but I was still on edge. After dinner, Quil volunteered to do the dishes, albeit with a little nudging from Embry. Jacob decided that he wanted to spend the evening watching every sporting event under the sun.

I sat next to Jacob on the couch. Embry sat on his other side, while Quil sat on the floor in front of me. I leaned into Jacob's side and he threw his arm casually over my shoulders. Grateful that he exhibited his trademark affection, I snuggled closer to him, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist. We stayed like that for a long time until he jumped up during a particularly pivotal play and high fived Quil and Embry. When he sat back down on the couch, he sat forward with his elbows resting on his knees. In other words, he made it impossible for me to snuggle with him again. So, I curled up at the end of the couch and laid my head on the arm rest, wishing that the night would be over soon.

I was torn. I was bored out of my mind, not enjoying myself at all. I didn't follow sports, of any kind. I was completely lost and found the whole thing rather pointless. On the other hand, it was Jacob's birthday, and he should be allowed to spend time with his best friends. But, I couldn't quash the voice niggling in my mind that asked, Why didn't he want to spend his birthday with me?

When the game was over, Jacob switched to really bad action movies. I was nodding off in my corner when I heard Embry say, "Jake, man, we should take off. It looks like Bella's fading fast."

I raised my head lethargically, and smiled warmly at Embry. I appreciated his consideration. But, Jacob simply looked at me and patted me on the leg saying, "She's fine man," then turned back to the movie.

Embry rolled his eyes and shook his head at Jacob who was too engrossed in the movie to notice. Embry eyed me compassionately and frowned mouthing a silent, "Sorry."

I lay my head back against the arm rest thinking about Jacob's quick dismissal of my needs. It was so unlike Jake. Normally, it wouldn't take an outside source to point out that I might be in need of something. Jake was always first to anticipate what would make me comfortable.

The movie finished around midnight, and Embry and Quil got up to leave. I thought I'd finally have a chance to talk to Jacob only to be disappointed when Rachel and Paul sauntered in from their date. As soon as Jacob saw them, he suggested that we all play a game of poker. That's where I drew the line. I told Jacob that I was too tired to play and made my way to the bathroom to get ready for bed. I stripped down to my boy-short underwear and threw on a thin tank top. It was a far cry from the lingerie I wanted to wear for him, but it would do.

I tossed and turned in Jacob's bed, listening to the loud voices coming from the kitchen. I heard the front door open and close and listened to Quil and Embry say their good-byes. I looked over at the alarm clock on the nightstand and saw that it was after two in the morning. Minutes later, Jacob walked into the bedroom stealthily. Had I not already been awake, I wouldn't have heard a sound. I sat up in bed and turned on the table lamp. Jake took one look at me, his eyes straying to my pert nipples poking through my thin shirt, then he looked down, a blush rushing to his cheeks.

"Sorry about that," he said. "Did I wake you?"

He sat on the edge of the bed and took off his shirt. I crawled over to him on my knees and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pressing my chest into his back. I kissed him gently along his neck.

"We're alone now," I whispered in his ear. My hands traveled down his massive chest, fingers circling his sensitive nipple. He grabbed my hand gently and said, "I don't think it's a good idea, Bells."

I pulled away and sat on my haunches. "What? Why not? I thought you…"

He sighed and turned his body to face me full on. He took my hands in his and I noticed the promise bracelet I had made for him adorning his wrist.

"Bells, it's not a good idea because there's a werewolf staying in the room across the hall. He'll hear us."

As if on cue, we heard groaning and a squeaking bed coming from Rachel's room. Clearly, Paul didn't have the same modesty. I bit my lip and smiled seductively. "It's not stopping them." Normally, I wouldn't have even considered making love to him knowing one of the guys was in the next room. But, desperate times called for desperate measures.

Jacob visibly shuddered. "No, it isn't. That's why I need to fall asleep ASAP so I don't have to hear it. Night, Bells."

He kissed me on the forehead and turned over with his back facing me. I sat there, staring at the back of his head for what seemed like forever, before I turned off the lamp and lay down.

I tossed and turned unable to shut my mind down. I was getting so many mixed messages that it was giving me whiplash. His eyes told me that he loved me, that he wanted me. I was just beginning to find it hard to _feel_ it. I _knew_ it was there, but the distance I felt between us made it hard to believe.

I looked over once more at Jacob's sleeping form. I wanted so much to just close the distance between us, to reach over and hold him. But, I didn't know how. Hell, I didn't even know if he wanted that from me. It was with that depressing thought that I finally drifted off into a restless sleep.

The next thing I knew, the morning sun was shining through the bedroom window. It was early, and I was still tired, having tossed and turned even in my sleep. But, I realized quickly that it wasn't the sun that woke me up from my sleep. I was hot and breaking into a sweat, and I was delighted to know that the source of all that heat was _My Jacob_.

In his sleep, Jacob had rolled over, spooning his body against mine. In his subconscious state, he had closed the distance between us, even if only on the physical level. His leg tangled between mine and his arm was thrown across my body, his hand cupping my breast firmly. Somehow, his other arm had come to rest under my neck acting as a pillow for me. I sighed contentedly, enjoying the return to his loving embrace. I pressed myself into his body and felt his hardness press against my lower back. I wiggled my body even closer, smiling to myself, knowing I still had an effect on Jacob, even if he wasn't acting on it with his conscious mind. As I pressed against his obvious erection, his grip on my breast tightened and he sighed, "Bella." I placed my hand over his and closed my eyes, convinced that I'd be able to sleep soundly a little while longer. I fell asleep to his warm breath tickling my ear. It was heaven.

The next time I woke up, the bed was noticeably colder. The sun had risen higher in the sky and the clock told me it was mid-morning. I got out of bed and got dressed. I freshened up in the bathroom and walked out to the kitchen where Jacob was hunkered down over a large bowl of cereal. When he merely nodded and mumbled a "Good morning," I knew we were back on opposite sides of the chasm, with no idea of how we had gotten there. It was a long weekend.

Sadly, I didn't have the time or the inclination to get everything out in the open with Jacob. We were both bombarded with work which left us too tired to delve too deeply into our relationship. We became complacent. We were in a rut and I couldn't see any way out of it. I was starting to wonder if Jacob even cared.

I put in my two week's notice at Newton's. Since I was going to be living on campus in Port Angeles, I didn't want to have to commute back and forth to Forks on a daily basis. As it turned out, the publishing house offered me a paid position as an assistant to a junior editor. It was part time work, but it paid me more than Newton's and it was only about a mile from campus. It was an easy decision to make.

As February approached, I noticed that Charlie was getting a little depressed. He was having a hard time with the idea of me moving out to live on campus. To compensate for his impending loneliness, he immersed himself in the role of an overprotective father. Though Port Angeles was more than out of his jurisdiction, he made it his business to know what was going on in the city at all times. He even got a second police scanner tuned into the Port Angeles police department, so that he could follow the city's criminal activity. He was obsessed. If there was so much as a stray cat stuck up in a tree, Charlie knew about it.

He even had the gall to be upset about the fact that Jacob wouldn't be living in the dorms with me. For all the grief we got about our love life, it was infuriating that Charlie would want Jacob practically living with me at school. Charlie's argument was that Jacob would intimidate others by virtue of his size alone and that I could use the added protection. It took a phone call from Renee and assurances from Jacob that the campus was safe and that I'd have friends close by. He may not be able to control what happened to me, but he knew he could trust me. That seemed to make him feel a lot better.

Moving day had finally arrived. Jacob and Billy came over with their truck to help me move all my belongings. Thanks to Renee and Alice, I had the makings of creating quite the luxury suite.

So, Charlie packed up my new bedding and pillows and loaded them in the back of Billy's truck. Jacob lugged down a couple of boxes of books that I simply couldn't live without on a daily basis. He also helped fill my car with my sizeable wardrobe. I found it funny that I was moving about forty minutes away and yet, I had packed more things than I had with me when I moved from Phoenix. At first, I didn't plan on bringing so much with me. After all, I was less than an hour ride from home. I could always pick something up if I needed it. But, I really wanted to have the college experience and really _live_ on campus. Of course, if I was really going to live there, then I'd need all the things that would make it feel like home.

Once everything was packed up, Charlie and Billy got in the truck and Jake got in my car with me. We got to campus in no time and headed over to my dorm. My room was on the first floor of a co-ed building. Since I was starting in the spring semester, I was the only one on that floor moving in. As I walked down the hall with Billy and Charlie by my side, I couldn't help but feel like a piece of fresh meat being thrown into a pool of ravenous piranha. Most of the doors were open out onto the hall with curious students taking in the "new girl." It was a little nerve-wracking, to say the least.

I opened my room and was immediately hit with how small it was. Normally, I wouldn't flinch at the modest size of the room, but, being an only child, I had never shared such a small space with another person. The feat was daunting at best.

On the far wall was a large picture window. I was relieved that at least the room offered plenty of light. The room was divided in typical dorm room fashion. On either side of the window, were twin beds, their headboards resting just under the window frame. My roommate had claimed the left side of the room. At the foot of each bed was a modest desk and chair set up against the wall. I took a few steps in and saw that behind me, framing the door, were two large wardrobes which served as the only closets. I smiled at the thought of Alice's reaction to the meager closet space. If she had her say, she would have donated a library to the campus just so the school would build me a walk-in closet. The icing on the cake was the door I saw on my roommate's side of the room, next to her wardrobe. I opened the door to find our own private bathroom. I could accept anything that came next knowing I wouldn't have to traipse down the hall in my bathrobe to a community bathroom.

Billy and Charlie moved into the room after me and looked around nodding in approval. Jake walked in burdened with my heavy suitcases and all my bedding. I could barely see his face since all my belongings were stacked so high in his arms.

"Aww, my little pack mule! I knew you'd come in handy, Jake." I grinned at him as he dumped my things on my bed. He gave me a kiss on the forehead, winked, then followed Charlie back out to the parking lot to help bring in the rest of my things. Jacob was acting a little more like his usual self. But, he was still distant. In the weeks following his birthday, we still hadn't been intimate with each other. But, at least he was sort of back to the Jacob of old; the one who would joke with me and be affectionate. Of course, he still had his boundaries, for whatever reason, which frustrated me to no end. I rolled my eyes and decided to grin and bear it. I knew Jacob. And, I was confident that he couldn't hold out on me for much longer.

Billy helped me make my bed and put away some of my clothes. Between the four of us, we were done in no time and my tiny dorm room felt like a home away from home. It was getting late and I wanted to get familiarized with the campus before our orientation later that evening. Jacob would be joining me later once he got Billy home. That left me alone with Charlie.

We stood facing each other, weighed down by an awkward silence. It wasn't the typical, "child going off to college" scenario. I mean, I was less than an hour away from home. It wasn't like I couldn't go back to Forks at any time. And yet, I couldn't deny the fact that we had reached a certain milestone in our lives. For all intents and purposes, Charlie was letting me go. And, I felt for him.

Charlie was frozen in the middle of the room, mute and looking uncomfortable. He rubbed the back of his neck while his mouth opened and closed, searching for the right thing to say.

"Dad, I…"

"Bells, I…"

We spoke at the same time, and then we both laughed nervously.

"Bells," he continued. "I just want to tell you how proud I am of you. I know this isn't Harvard or anything like that. But, I want you to do well. I know you're going to make a life for yourself, and I'm glad it's starting here. I'm going to miss you kiddo."

His face was red and his eyes were watering. I gave him a hug, which he returned enthusiastically.

"It's okay, Dad," I said reassuringly. "Tell you what. I'll come home every Sunday so we can have dinner together."

"No, Bells. You shouldn't have to worry about your old man. You should stay on campus as much as possible and meet people. You know, enjoy yourself." He paused to think about it. "Or, maybe just come home every _other_ weekend?"

"Sure, sure," I said, laughing. "Sounds like a plan. Now, just because I'm not there every day, doesn't mean you can go back to living off of pizza and take out. In fact, I better not hear that you've made the diner your second home."

"Don't worry about me, Bells. I haven't forgotten all those dishes you taught me how to make. Besides, I'm a grown man. And, if I need any help, I can always call Sue…"

We both blushed at the mention of Sue's name. Though they still weren't officially dating, they had become even closer since the holidays. I was confident that he was in good hands with me gone.

Charlie cleared his throat. "Well, anyway…we've got to get going. But, I want you to promise me something first." His tone got all serious and I knew he was in overprotective father mode again. "If you ever need to go anywhere at night, like to the library or class, whatever it is, I want you to ask someone to go with you. You know, if Jacob isn't around."

"Dad, it's a closed campus. It's really safe. Hell, I can see the library from my window. I don't think that'll be necessary."

"Regardless," he insisted. "Your old man would feel a lot better if you asked someone."

I sighed in defeat. "Fine, Dad. I'll look like a total townie dweeb and ask someone to _escort_ me across campus." I shook my head in exasperation. Though, in a way, I knew it was just Charlie's way of showing me how much he loved me. "Satisfied?" I added playfully.

"Not yet," he countered. He pulled out a bottle of mace and a whistle from his jacket pocket and handed them to me. "Take these. You never know when you'll need them. And, remember, yell 'fire' if you're in danger. People are more likely to respond…"

"Dad, Dad, I got it. I'll be careful. I'll call you okay?"

He nodded, as he appeared to be too overwhelmed to say anything else. He hugged me again, holding on just a beat longer than normal. "I love you. You're going to do great."

"Thanks, Dad." He released me and stepped back, looking around the room. "I love you too." His eyes met mine and he smiled.

"Okay, I better get going before Billy rolls in giving me hell for being so sappy. I'll talk to you later."

When Charlie left, I sat down on my bed, finally allowing myself to take it all in. I set the mace and whistle to the side, shaking my head. Charlie, always the Police Chief. I couldn't help but smile.

I had an overwhelming sense that I was embarking on a new phase of my life. I was scared and nervous, but I was also elated. College was an opportunity to study the things you actually wanted to. I had always been a good student, but I had been bored with school. I was looking forward to the challenges that designing my own curriculum would provide. It was a whole new experience for me, one that I vowed to embrace better than I did when I first moved from Phoenix. I had always been so timid and shy when it came to new experiences. But, I promised myself that I would go out and meet new people and open myself up to new things. And that's when my door opened and a tall, leggy brunette barged in like a whirlwind. It looked like I would start with her.

I stood up with a smile on my face. "Hi, I'm Be…," I began. But, the nameless brunette simply dropped her purse on her desk and held her hand up to me.

"Alright," she said, very business-like. "Answer me this. Are you a drunk, a junkie, stalker, or all-around psycho?"

"None of the above," I replied.

She smiled and held out her hand, which I took immediately. "Sorry for the third degree, but I had a pretty crazy roommate last semester. You never know, right? I'm Liz by the way."

I shook her hand. "No problem. I understand. I'm Bella." After exchanging a few more pleasantries, I found out that Liz was an art major from Seattle who decided to go to school in Port Angeles because of the scenic beauty of the Olympic Peninsula. We were chatting amicably when we heard a knock at the door. Liz yelled, "Come in."

Jacob popped his head around the door, smiling tentatively.

"Jake, what are you doing here?"

"You forgot this," he said, holding up the hand-carved picture frame he'd given me for my birthday. "It slipped under the seat of the truck. I know I could've brought it later tonight, but…well, I thought you'd want to have it and know that it was safe."

"Thanks, Jake." I took the picture from him and set it prominently on my desk. I hugged him and he returned the embrace awkwardly. He pulled away and extended his hand to Liz, who stood their looking stunned. Her eyes were wide as she took in Jacob's massive frame. She was finding it painfully hard to hide the hint of lush that seeped into her gaze.

He turned towards Liz. "Hi, I'm Jake," he said. His voice startled her and she blushed embarrassed for her lack of attention. He extended his hand towards her and flashed his winning smile. I knew what effect it had on me; I could only imagine what it would do to someone not prepared for it. She took his hand in hers and if she noticed his alarming body temperature, she didn't say anything.

"Hi, Jake. I'm Bella's roommate, Liz."

"Nice to meet you, Liz."

"Yeah, you too. So, tell me. Do you have any brothers?"

Jake chuckled and ran his hand through his hair. "Not exactly. I've got a lot of friends though, and they're practically my family." He smiled at her and then turned back to me.

"Sorry Bells. I have to go. I don't want to keep our dads waiting." He grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. "I'll see you later tonight."

Jacob left, closing the door behind him leaving me with a shocked roommate.

"Oh yeah," she said emphatically. "If you bring him along more often, then we're definitely going to get along. So, seriously, does he have any good-looking, _available_ friends?"

Liz continued on excitedly. Jacob had clearly made a good impression on her. But, I was too distracted by his dizzying behavior to pay her much mind. She prattled on about how hot my boyfriend was and how great it must be to date someone so good looking. She meant well, and in fact, I knew I should take it as a compliment. But, all I could think about was the fact that I couldn't even enjoy, said hot boyfriend. All I could think about was the fact that things would have to change soon, because I couldn't go on this way much longer. I needed answers.

**A/N: So, that was kind of a filler chapter, but a very long filler chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Maybe if you did enjoy it, you can let me know what you thought about it with a review. (Hint, hint) Anyway, there have been some stories removed from this site due to content. I haven't heard anything about my story and I haven't been warned that I'll be next. But, just in case, you can also find my story at www(dot)twilighted(dot)net. **

**Also, I'm planning a total of about 50 chapters for this story. So, even if I take long breaks between chapters, please know that I haven't abandoned this story, nor will I until it's finished. Thank you all for your incredible support and positive feedback. I have the best reviewers out there. Thanks. Erin **


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do not!**

**A/N: Okay, so this one came in under a month. I'd say that's progress right? I'd like to thank my anonymous reviewers. Since I can't reply to you individually, I'd just like to thank you for leaving such kind words. I really appreciate it. So, thank you to, TeamJacob88, Sparkle Sista, PeanutButterDragon, Leina, lara, leelator, paylee, Holly, bellsnjake, AnonymousAussie, ace3, cuppircakecarriers, & jacobaddicted456. You guys are wonderful. So, thank you. I'd also like to thank everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. I work really hard on them, and it's so nice to hear that you appreciate it. :) **

**I'd also like to thank Crazilyaddicted, aka, Neha for her help with this chapter. I wouldn't have been able to finish this without your help. And, I'd also like to thank leelator, for her story which served as inspiration for a drunken Bella. Please check out my favorite stories. There are a bunch of great Jacob/Bella stories that could use your support. Now, onto the story…**

**CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE **

My paws hit the forest floor, sinking into the soft earth littered with fallen leaves. I sucked in the cool air through my snout. I could smell the seasons changing. Winter was fading and spring was literally in the air. I pushed myself hard and ran as fast as my limbs would carry me. My favorite thing about being a wolf was the speed, and at that moment, I was trying to outrun my problems. I needed to clear my head and I wanted to take full advantage of being alone and not having to share my thoughts with anyone. I was getting tired, tired of shielding my thoughts, tired of denying my heart, body and soul of what it desperately wanted. And what it wanted was Bella.

_Bella._

She was the girl of my dreams, the other half of my soul. When she hurt, I hurt. When she smiled, my heart jumped for joy. I never thought she would love me the way I loved her. And, when she did, when she finally admitted the truth to herself, the feeling was indescribable. She was mine and I was hers. And now, because of a stupid misunderstanding, I was letting it all go to shit.

Another day passed and I still evaded the truth. I had always been open with Bella. So open that it used to get me into trouble. But, I couldn't keep anything from her. She was my best friend and I wanted to share everything with her. But, I'd purposefully filled my time with studying, work, patrolling, and a new tutor, all to avoid the inevitable confrontation.

I felt like a total prick after I left her at school that day. After class, I met up with Bella and her roommate for dinner in one of the cafeterias. We talked about nonsense, really. That was my M.O. lately. I always tried to keep things light and casual, never giving Bella the opportunity to bring up deeper stuff. Besides, it's not like Bella was going to hash out our personal problems in front of Liz, who she'd only known for about a month. But, the tension between us was obvious. Bella caught my eyes constantly, trying to get inside my head. She looked hurt and frustrated. But, I had become a master of diversion and every time she tried to talk to me, I mean _really_ talk to me, I quickly changed the subject to throw her off track. Liz left us at dinner on her way to class, and Bella stayed quiet as I walked her back to her room.

I had gradually built a distance between us since Christmas. And it was taking a toll on both of us. I was hurting her and it was killing me. She didn't deserve it. But, that was the problem. She deserved much better than me. I was holding her back and kidding myself in thinking that I'd be enough for her. I was torn. I couldn't walk away from her. I needed her too much. And yet, I was screwing up left and right. She was confused, hurt and angry. I couldn't blame her. I kept her at arm's length because I didn't trust myself to get too close. But, I also felt like I couldn't breathe if I wasn't just _near_ her.

Before I left, she asked me what was wrong for about the millionth time. I brushed it off as nothing. I told her that I was just so busy and exhausted, and that she shouldn't worry. It wasn't a lie. I _was_ busy _and_ exhausted from finding things to fill up my time all in an effort to avoid her. I almost cried when I saw the pain in her eyes. I told her I needed to leave to start my patrol. She just nodded and cracked open a book at her desk and started her homework. She just _dismissed_ me. If I thought the pain in her eyes would kill me, then her sudden indifference almost sucked the life out of me. My knees were wobbly and I could barely stand. It took all my power to walk out of that room. She didn't complain or try to stop me. She didn't demand that we work out whatever problem was bothering me. Hell, she didn't even insist on kissing me good-bye. She just slouched in defeat and let me go. I bowed my head and left without another word. What could I say? I had killed her spirit, all because I was an idiot.

I should have told her right after it happened that I was having doubts. I should have told her that everything I said to her at Christmas, though it had come from the heart, was a lie. I'd told her that we would have been good parents, that we would have been able to raise a baby together, despite the fact that we were practically kids ourselves. But, what the hell did I know about babies? And how exactly did I plan on supporting a family working part time at an auto body shop?

Billy didn't work. He couldn't because of his disability. We made ends meet thanks to tribal assistance and help from friends and family. That's just the way it was on the Rez. We took care of each other. I was used to going without. In fact, becoming a werewolf had seriously tested Billy's means of support. I went through more clothing those first few months than I had my entire life. It was only once I started working that I was able to buy myself enough clothes to get to and from school without having to walk around barefoot and shirtless.

But, I was happy with my life and with how I lived. And I had a girl who loved me for me. She didn't care about where I came from. No, that wasn't true. She loved where I came from. Bella loved my family and my friends. She saw past the modest living and embraced it as her own. She didn't need money to make her happy.

I couldn't necessarily say the same for our children. I knew I shouldn't get ahead of myself, but I couldn't keep the "what ifs" at bay. Bella _wasn't_ pregnant. But, it didn't change the fact that she could've been, or that one stupid mistake on my part could change our lives forever. I knew I would've stepped up to be the father the kid needed. There would have been no other option for me. Bella was my world. And, yes, I truly believed that Bella would have been happy to live and be wherever I was. But, could the same be said about our child? What kind of life could I really provide for Bella, let alone and innocent baby? Would a mechanic's pay be enough?

I had horrible visions of my child growing up without. It occurred to me that he or she might grow up to resent me for not providing enough. Then maybe Bella would see that life with me wasn't as wonderful as she thought and that she'd want more out of life than me and La Push. I knew that I was panicking needlessly, and that Bella was probably having similar doubts. I should've just talked to her about it and got everything out in the open like we always did. But, then I had a talk with Charlie and I was more confused than ever.

I had felt a little weird around Bella right after it all happened. For a couple of weeks I didn't even want to touch her let alone look at her too hard for fear she'd get pregnant. I knew I'd get over it quickly. As scared as we were, we couldn't deny the fact that our bodies _craved_ each other. In fact, I was ready to pick up where we left off, so to speak, when Charlie found out about the almost pregnancy. And things got a lot worse.

I had gone over after work one day to spend some time with Bella. When I got there, Charlie said she had run out to the grocery store but would be back any minute. And that's when he blindsided me. I would never forget that day.

"Do you have any idea how serious this is?"

He was angry. Bella had told me how scary he had looked when he found the pregnancy tests. But, her description did nothing to prepare me for the menacing look on Charlie's face. Chief Swan was in full effect and I had to admit that he was an intimidating guy. I shifted nervously in my seat. "What are you talking about?" Okay, I wasn't stupid. I knew what he meant, but I figured if we were going to have a man to man talk, then we should get everything out in the open. Charlie frowned at me and pointed to the kitchen table.

"Sit," he ordered.

So, I sat. Charlie paced a bit before sitting down and looking at me, trying to find the right words to say.

"How could you have let this happen?"

"Charlie, _nothing_ happened. We were careful. Now we know to be even more careful." _Oh_ _God_. I never thought I'd be having this conversation with Charlie.

"Yeah, you and Bella seem to be under the same understanding. But, it seems to me that you've both been a bit too blasé about this."

"Charlie," I began, but apparently he was on a roll, and interrupted me.

"No, Jake. I love you like a son, but you need to understand something. Bella deserves better than this."

His words were like a punch to the gut. He said, "Bella deserves better than _this_." But, I heard "Bella deserves better than _you_". I couldn't believe Charlie was throwing my biggest fear right in my face.

"Charlie, I love her with all my heart. I…"

"Yeah, well maybe if you spent less time groping my daughter and more time focusing on making a better future for her, I'd see that."

Now, _I_ was angry. I loved and respected Charlie, but he was wrong. I gripped the table-top so tightly that I thought I was going to leave finger impressions. I was torn about how I could possibly defend myself without going over the line. "How can you even say that Charlie? I worked my ass off to get into college _ahead of schedule_. I'm working long hours at the shop to make extra money. I want to be with Bella for the rest of my life. How can you say that I'm not focused on a future for her, for us?"

"Look, son. All I know is that a couple of months ago, after you and Bella got back together, you promised me you'd never hurt her again. You broke up with her for what, a month? You said you couldn't handle it, that things got too complicated for you. And when she took you back, you said it would never happen again. Well, say next time she does get pregnant? Are you going to cut and run, _again_?"

I groaned in frustration and buried my head in my hands. My father had always said that the truth was the best policy. I had dug myself into a hole. I had lied to Charlie, took the blame for our "break-up" in an effort to protect Bella. I couldn't exactly tell him that Bella broke up with me as part of a plan to fool a bunch of bloodsuckers. But, I had screwed myself, made Charlie think less of me. He thought I couldn't handle the tough stuff and that when things got rough, I would just bail. I sighed feeling completed defeated. "Charlie, I love Bella. I'm not going anywhere."

"Well, that's what I'm afraid of."

"But, you just said…"

"Jake, Bella is a lot like me. She has simple tastes. She's a homebody. She doesn't need much to make her happy. But, she's also her mother's daughter. She has a fire inside."

"I know that Charlie. That's just one of the things I love about her."

"Well then, did it ever occur to you that this life isn't going to be enough for her? That one day, she's going to find herself saddled down with kids and a husband, stuck in La Push and feeling trapped?"

I swallowed hard, fighting back the angry words I wanted to shout out. Charlie may be her father, but he didn't know Bella like I did. She wanted a family with me. Sure, not now, but someday. She didn't care if we lived in La Push. She said so herself. But, Charlie continued, and my confidence in what I _knew_ to be true wavered.

"Renee was happy, here with me in Forks. She was happy, for a while. But then one day, Forks was just too small for her. And, I was no longer enough. It didn't matter that we shared a child. She just took off. I lost the love of my life and my daughter. Poof, just gone. And it's taken me nearly twenty years to get over it."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I knew Bella wasn't like that. She loved her mom, but they really were different. Charlie was obviously projecting his own issues onto me. Wasn't he?

"What do you want me to do?" I asked warily. "Do you want me to break up with her? Because I can't…"

"No, son. No. That's not what I'm trying to say. She loves you. I wouldn't do that to her. I just think you need to grow up and learn to take more responsibility." I wanted to roll my eyes. He thought I should take on more responsibility? I wished more than ever that I could just tell him what I was, what I did. Maybe if he knew that I put my life on the line every day to protect his daughter, he'd think differently. But even though I was the Alpha now, it still wasn't my place to tell him. As much as he was family, he wasn't Pack. I didn't like it, but I saw no way around it either. My hands were tied and all I could do was listen. "Jake, you two are young. There's plenty of living and experiences out there for both of you. I'm just saying that you both need to smarten up. Don't tie her down with a kid, Jacob. I promise you that if you do, you'll lose them both."

As if on cue, Bella had walked in the front door with a bag of groceries in her hand. She took one look at us and said, "You guys look pretty serious. What's up?"

But, Charlie simply dismissed it as sports talk and took the bag out of her hands, leaving me to drown in a whirlpool of self-doubt.

_He didn't mean it, you know._

My thoughts were snapped back to the present when I heard Embry pop into my mind. It looked like I wasn't alone after all. I had been too consumed with my own thoughts to notice that he had phased.

_**Leave me alone**_, I grumbled, increasing my pace. I focused on the task at hand, patrolling for leeches. I was pissed that I'd let my mind wander and hadn't been paying attention to my duties. Then again, being a wolf came so naturally to me that I could probably do this in my sleep and still sniff out a leech from a mile away.

_Gee, you're modest aren't you?_

_**Embry, what part of leave me alone do you not understand?**_

_Hey, you're the one who scheduled me to patrol tonight. Speaking of which, you have the day off. What are you doing out here?_

_**I don't know. I guess I just needed to think.**_

_Would that be about what an idiot you've been? _Great, just what I needed. Quil had phased and was now joining in on the nag fest in my head.

_Hey, way to treat your friend. I was only trying to help._

_**Well, I don't need your help. So leave me alone!**_

_No can do bro, _Embry chimed in._ You've been moping around for weeks. I'm telling you, Charlie didn't mean it._

_Charlie didn't mean what?_

_God, Quil! Keep up! Jake's been whining about how Charlie thinks he's not good enough for Bella._

_Oh yeah. That sucks._

_No, it doesn't Quil, because he didn't mean it that way. God, it's like talking to children! Jake, Charlie just doesn't want you to knock Bella up. What's so hard to understand about that? You said yourself, he loves you like a son. He wants you guys to be together. He just doesn't want you to be stupid about it._

_**Then why is it that everything he said makes sense? Bella deserves more than to be the girlfriend of a mechanic. What if she was pregnant? How could**__**I possibly take care of her?**_

Embry sighed, clearly annoyed. _But, she isn't pregnant._

_Yeah, _Quil added. _Why does everyone keep forgetting that? You're making a bigger deal out of this than it needs to be. Dude, just double up on the condoms and go to town. Problem solved._

_**Yes, Quil, thank you. That's the absolute best thing you could have said. **_My tone was so sarcastic that even Quil couldn't have missed it. _**Besides, I don't exactly think that having sex is going to solve all my problems.**_

_No, but it might solve ours._

_**What the hell is that supposed to mean, Embry?**_

_Dude, the sexual tension is driving us all crazy! I mean, we think of Bella like a sister. But, it's hard to do that with all the fantasies going through your head. I thought it was bad enough with Seth's pervy mind._

I rolled my eyes. Seth had always had a harmless crush on Bella. Who could blame him? It never bothered me before, because I knew he wasn't a threat to me and my relationship with her. But ever since that night he walked in on us in my bedroom, he's relived the memory numerous times while phased. _That_ bothered me. But, what could I do? He couldn't exactly _un-see_ that, no matter how much I wanted him to. Of course, the fact that I was completely erased from the memory and replaced by Seth with Bella writhing above him, well, that _wasn't_ cool. As a result, I made it a point to avoid patrolling with Seth from then on.

_Man, your lack of concentration is giving us a full access pass to parts of Bella that we really shouldn't be seeing. _

_**Oh please. You guys are disgusting. I'm not talking about this with you. I don't want to hear it.**_

_Fine, we'll show you._

Quil and Embry showed me what they'd seen in my head over the last two months. My stride almost faltered when I felt the weight of all of my emotions mirrored back to me in a single moment. It was overwhelming. I loved Bella. I _lusted_ after her. I had always been an affectionate person and once Bella let me in, there wasn't a moment when I wasn't touching her. I didn't feel like myself anymore. I didn't feel like me when I wasn't touching her, when I wasn't driving her to peaks of…

_See, _Quil laughed knowingly. _That's exactly what we're talking about. You have us all on edge and horny as hell. I don't even know what to do with myself. I've spent so much time in the shower that I think I'm going _blind.

_Nice Quil, like that's the image we all need right now. Look Jake, we're not trying to get involved in your love life…_

_**You could've fooled me.**_

_I'm telling you man. If you don't get laid soon, I'm going to fucking lose it!_

_**Okay, this is so none of your business.**_

_Man, Embry's right. Whenever you're around all this sexual tension just radiates off of you. It's uncomfortable. And, having Bella around doesn't help._

_**Oh, so now you don't want Bella around?**_

_No, not when she's a horny freak sending off pheromones even the dead can smell._

_**I'm pretty sure I don't like the way you're talking about my soul mate. I'd watch it if I were you.**_

_Well, it's not like Quil's wrong, Jake. If I didn't have Karen around, I swear I'd rip Bella's clothes off myself and have at it._

_**That's ENOUGH! **_My Alpha command halted them in their tracks. The power in my voice made them both cow and whimper, groveling on their bellies. I didn't relish having that kind of power over my friends. But, when it came to Bella, I would do whatever it took. No one, and I mean no one talked about my Bella that way. _**Don't ever talk about Bella like that again. If you weren't my friend I'd have your balls in a sling for that.**_

_I'm sorry Jake. _They both panted getting back to their feet slowly. _But, you just proved my point. When you were crying and moaning over Bella when she was with the leech, that was bad. We all felt your pain. We all longed for her right along with you. But things are different now. You've had a taste of what it's like to be with her, and now that you're…denying yourself…it's torturing us man. For Christ's sake, Leah's starting to have…uh…disturbing dreams involving Bella. I know they're friends and all now, but she's not too happy about this._

Quil chimed in, _Yeah, but I bet Jack's enjoying the new imagery!_

Embry and I both growled at him and he shut up quickly.

_Anyway, _Embry continued. _You're being an idiot. You can't keep staying away from her._

_**I'm not. I see her every day.**_

_Yeah, but you keep her at arm's length._

_**I keep her at arm's length, Embry because she deserves better. Maybe if I back off, she can find someone better.**_

_Are you insane? _Quil practically screamed. _Dude, you're perfect for each other. How is she supposed to find someone better? She's your imprint. Have you even once considered how this is affecting her? Claire's just a child. I love her more than anything in the world. I couldn't take it if she suffered because of something I did. You're hurting Bella. We all see it._

_**I'm hurting her now, so I won't hurt her in the long run. She'll be better off without me.**_

_Are you fucking kidding us with this? Do you realize that you sound just like that leech who broke her heart? So, what? You're just going to leave her for her own good?_

_**No, I'd never leave her. I can't. But, I can't ignore my imprint's needs. So, I'm just encouraging her to have…different needs. **_

_Quil's right. You have lost your fucking mind! You, of all people, are falling back on the whole "imprint" bullshit? You're in love with her. You think you can just turn that off and allow the imprint voodoo to work its magic? You think you can stand there and watch her fall in love with someone else? You think you're just going to be her friend? Cuz, if I remember correctly, that didn't work out too well for you guys before. She doesn't want just a friend, Jacob. You're a fucking idiot! _

_**I don't need to listen to this…**_

_Well, you are, cuz I'm not finished. You're one of my best friends, Jake. I'm telling you, if you keep pushing her away, she's going to run right into Edward's arms. Then you really will lose her._

_**That's not going to happen. It's over with Edward. She wouldn't do that. She's not like that.**_

_Really? _Quil snorted. _She did it before._

_**We're DONE! Congratulations Quil. You just bought yourself some alone time. You can stay out patrolling**__**until sun up. Embry, go home!**_

_Son of a…_

I growled angrily and phased on the fly. I didn't want to hear Quil's bitching. I mean, he brought it on himself. I pulled my shorts up and made my way towards my house. I was exhausted and I didn't want to hear my friends yammering on about all the things I was doing wrong. They just didn't get it. I loved Bella. But, the last thing I wanted to do was make her feel trapped. She was smart, beautiful and clever. She could go and do whatever she wanted. She could _have_ anyone she wanted if she wasn't so blind to see it. But, me, I couldn't leave La Push, not while I was still phasing. And, who knew how long I would need to protect her and my people. It's not like the bloodsuckers were just going to go away. If I didn't let her go, she'd be like a caged bird. I'd kill her spirit and she'd eventually leave me anyway. I was just trying to make it happen quicker to spare us both a lot more pain.

But, it was slowly killing me. Bella was everything to me, and keeping her at a distance was driving me insane. I'd watch her while she read and have to hold myself back when she sucked her lower lip into her mouth. Or, how sometimes she'd mouth the words silently as she read when she thought no one was looking. These past two months have tested me beyond my limits. I felt that one more day of looking at her hurt, pouty face and I'd throw myself at her feet, wrap her in my arms, and never let her go. I'd do it, even if it meant giving her a life she didn't deserve.

No. I shook my head and my fist connected angrily with a defenseless tree. I heard the wood crack and split and part of the trunk broke off and fell to the forest floor. No, I promised myself that Bella deserved more than the life I could offer. I'd have to keep pushing her away until she realized it.

Quil was wrong. Bella wouldn't go running into Edward's arms. She wasn't fickle like he thought. What happened before…well, that was before. We had gotten so…_close_ since then. As far as her heart was concerned, things were over with Edward. Of course, that didn't mean Edward wouldn't use the situation to his advantage.

I knew, without a doubt that Edward was still in love with her. He played the role of the "accepting" friend well. But, he didn't fool me for a second. He was just biding his time, waiting for me to screw things up so he could swoop in and win her back. He would never give up. We were a lot alike in that respect. Though, I would never admit it out loud. I was swimming in dangerous waters.

I finally made it home. It wasn't all that late, but the house was dark. I figured Billy might be doing something with the Council. That was fine with me. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to shower and relax. I had been on edge for weeks. I wasn't being myself. I wasn't allowing it. And, it was hard pretending to be someone I wasn't. All I wanted to do was call Bella and talk to her for hours while I lay in bed. She always said I was like a healing force for her. But, in all honesty, she was _my_ life preserver. She always kept me afloat. And now I was drowning without her. I walked in the front door and stopped short when I saw Billy sitting in the dark just a few feet in front of me.

"Hey old man. Why are you being so creepy?" I walked around him into the kitchen and turned on the light. I rummaged through the refrigerator as Billy wheeled up next to me.

"Son, this has got to stop."

I closed the fridge door and groaned in frustration. "Not you too."

"Damn right, Jacob. Look, you've made me so proud. Hell, you're my favorite son." I chuckled at the old joke. "You've got a great heart and you carry a world of responsibility on your shoulders."

"Thanks, Dad. I…"

"I wasn't finished," he snapped angrily. "But, all of that means nothing if you continue on this path. I know you had that talk with Charlie. But, son, you're taking it too much to heart. He was only looking out for his daughter. What father wants his teen aged daughter to end up pregnant? But, he knows you're good for her. And obviously, she's good for you because you've been near unbearable lately."

"Dad, it's complicated."

"No, son, it isn't. Stop focusing on what you can't provide, and focus on what you can. Bella has been nothing but open and honest about what she wants. And she wants you. Stop pushing her away or you're going to lose her. And, I don't think you'll survive it." I opened my mouth to reply, but Billy just wheeled himself away and closed his bedroom door behind him. My shoulders sagged as I stared at Billy's closed door. I could always count on my father to get straight to the point, even if I didn't like it. He got me thinking again.

I missed Bella. Sure, I still saw her every single day. But, it wasn't the same. She lived an hour away, with a roommate. I couldn't just run over, sneak into her room and have a late night chat with her. Billy's words had me panicked. I had been an idiot. I had once again broken my promise to the most important person in my life. I was hurting Bella by pushing her away, and I was acting justified for causing her pain. I had her so broken that she wasn't even fighting me on it. And that was the worst part. Ever since we got together, Bella had turned into a fighter. She had always been stubborn, but now she was strong-willed and feisty. She'd call me out on my bullshit. But, I could see the fight getting beaten out of her. And it was all my fault. I had been going through the motions, hoping she'd get frustrated and move on. I was blind to the pain I was putting her through, putting us through.

I walked into my bedroom, appetite long forgotten, and threw myself down on my bed. I stared up at the ceiling. It had been almost two months since we'd had sex. But, that wasn't what was killing me. Okay, it _really_ was. But, I also missed just being _close_ to her. Sure, we'd kiss, but I couldn't ever bring myself to deepen the kisses or to touch her. I had been so afraid. I knew if I got to touch her soft skin I wouldn't be able to stop. But, I'm not going to lie. She was all I thought about. I knew I couldn't last much longer like this. Hell, the Pack couldn't last much longer. Either they'd all explode from sexual frustration, or I'd kill them for their obscene thoughts about my girl.

I was already on Leah's shit list. Bella had gone to her more than once asking her if she knew what was wrong with me. Hell, it was only in the past couple of weeks that Leah and the Pack actually found out what was wrong with me. I'd been pretty good about keeping the pregnancy scare and my reaction to it private, for Bella's sake. But, I was worn down and weak, and it all just slipped out when I phased. Needless to say, I wasn't getting much sympathy from them, especially with how I was treating Bella. I felt horrible that she had to look to someone else for help, but then again that had been my plan. If she knew she couldn't rely on me, she would turn elsewhere. God, I was such an idiot. Of course, Leah was sick of covering for me and threatened to tell Bella just what a pussy I've been if I didn't come clean with her.

But, what could I possibly say to make this right? I'd let it go on too long. And she was breaking down my defenses. I couldn't resist her. My whole body and soul was drawn to her. I wasn't happy if I wasn't touching her. I was at home only when I was buried deep…Oh, shit, I thought. I got up to take my fifth cold shower of the day.

When I got back to my room, I decided that that was it. I was ruining our lives by being such a pansy. Yeah, I was going through some stuff, but so was Bella. I had abandoned her when she needed me the most. Okay, maybe not physically, but emotionally. And, in a lot of ways, that was much worse. We belonged together, no matter what. She should be leaning on me, not dealing with this alone, or even relying on the Cullens. I promised to be there for her and I was going to make good on it. Better late than never. I just hoped that I wasn't _too_ late.

The next day was my busy day. Fridays were always crazy for me. Bella and I never really saw each other until the evening. She worked all morning and had classes in the afternoon, while I had my classes early and worked at night. I was dying to talk to her. But, I didn't want to just call her on the phone. I wanted to talk to her, face to face, so I could wrap her in my arms and tell her how much I loved her and how sorry I was for putting us through hell because of my insecurities. I was going to beg and plead for her to forgive me and just hope that I could make things normal again.

It was already after eight at night and I had just taken my break for dinner when Bella called. I couldn't help but feel like a love sick girl because my heart skipped a beat when I saw her name on the caller ID.

"Hi honey," I practically sang into the phone. I tried to let all my love for her come through my voice.

_Um…hi, Jake._ I frowned at the confusion in her voice. But, then, I only had myself to blame for the state of things.

_Um, anyway, I was calling because Liz wants us to go with her to this party on campus tonight. I know you've been working, but we don't have to go until a little later. Anyway, I was just thinking that it might be kind of fun. I mean, we've been here almost a month and we haven't really done anything like this._

She was rambling on and I couldn't help but smile. It wasn't exactly the quiet setting I had planned for the night. But, she sounded so adorable that I would do anything for her. I had let her down so much lately. I didn't want to do it again. I knew we'd have time to really talk later. I was about to tell her yes, that I would love to go, when I remembered that I promised my boss the day before that I'd stay late and close up.

"I'm sorry, Bells." I sighed, unable to keep the disappointment from my voice. "I have to work late tonight. I…"

_Fine, whatever. Don't worry about it. _She sounded angry and hurt. She mumbled under her breath, _I don't know why I even bother anymore. _Her lack of faith in me cut me like a knife. I felt like I had been sucker punched and was finding it hard to breathe. _Alright, Jake. I better go then…_

"Bells, honey, wait!" I yelled into the phone, completely panicked. "I do have to work late, but I can still make it to the party. I mean, these things don't really start until midnight, right? I get off work at ten. I'll run home to shower and then I'll ride my bike up. I can be there after eleven, no problem."

_Really? _She sounded so hopeful, it nearly broke my heart. _Oh, well, I guess you'll be bringing Quil and Embry, right? _Her voice lost its hopeful tone and she sounded disappointed. I'd really done a number on her. I was ashamed of myself.

"No, Bells. It's just going to be me. I really want to spend some time with you, _alone_. We really need to talk."

_Oh, uh, sure. I'd like that._

She gave me the info on where the party was being held and we hung up. She sounded somewhat happy by the end of our conversation and I already felt more confident that I could fix the mess I'd made. I spent the last two hours of work just thinking about all the things I wanted to say. And after we had it all out, if she just wanted me to hold her the rest of the night, I'd count myself the luckiest man in the world. I wanted her. I needed her. But, she needed to feel loved first. I was more than willing to oblige.

The rest of my shift passed like a blur. I was elbow deep in grease and oil just praying that time would move faster so that I could see Bella. By ten o'clock, I had finished and closed up shop, driving home like a mad man to get ready for the party. I ran in the front door, passed Billy and headed straight for the shower. If Billy was surprised by my behavior, he didn't say so. He just shook his head and wheeled himself into his bedroom.

I took the world's fastest shower and scrubbed my skin raw to get all the sweat and grime off of me. I wanted to dress up a bit, show Bella that I still cared. I settled on my dark jeans, reserved for Bella-related occasions and a clean white t-shirt. I hopped on my bike and rode as fast as I could to Port Angeles.

I parked outside of Bella's dorm then jogged across campus to where the party was being held. I walked in and knew I was in the right place. Music was blaring and scantily clad co-eds were gyrating together on the make-shift dance floor, which I could only assume was supposed to be the living room on non-party days. Based on the number of beer caps pressed into the popcorn ceiling, I had a feeling it was rare when this house _didn't_ see a party.

I walked in ignoring the eyes that had undoubtedly landed on me. I knew I was an intimidating presence and by the looks on some of their faces, it was clear that they didn't normally see a six foot seven inch Native very often. It was a senior party, but I didn't think I'd get much flack for being a freshman, especially since I looked older than most of the seniors there.

I took in my surroundings and couldn't help but laugh. It was like the party-goers were confused. The apartment was large, with probably two or three bedrooms. The breakfast counter in the kitchen served as the bar and it was being manned by some guy with a sequined vest and bow tie. It looked like he was geared up for a casino night which I found pretty strange considering the tiki torches lining the balcony and a lot of the girls (and some guys) wearing hula skirts and coconut bras. Clearly, no one got the memo on the theme for the party.

I pushed my way passed the bar looking for Bella. I smelled her before I saw her, freshly showered with her lavender lotion and strawberry scented shampoo. I had to warn my body to keep it under control, seeing as how the mere scent of Bella had me wanting to rip her clothes off and claim her in front of everyone. I took a few calming breaths and made my way towards the dance floor. What I saw made my jaw fall open in shock.

There was Bella, dressed in the tightest jeans she owned and wearing a flimsy tank top that showed a hell of a lot more cleavage than she normally did. I wasn't sure how to react. On the one hand, I wanted to shout out to all the guys there, "Check out this gorgeous girl. She's all mine!" But, on the other hand, I wanted to rush over to her and give her my shirt so she could cover the goods. That was for my eyes only. Wasn't it?

I watched her, completely under her spell. She was dancing with Liz and she had a beautiful, care-free smile on her face. She had a large plastic cup in her hand and I knew just from the way that she moved that that wasn't her first drink of the night. Hell, it would take quite a few drinks to get her onto a dance floor willingly. Her hips swayed back and forth to the beat of the music. The rhythm was hypnotic and I couldn't take my eyes off of her plump little ass encased in those jeans. The animal within just wanted to grab her and press her up against a wall.

She was three sheets to the wind and she looked adorable. She looked free and uninhibited, much like she does when I'm deep inside her tight…Nope. Nope. I wasn't going to think like that. I wasn't going to be taken over by lust, especially since we hadn't talked things out yet. It was just hard, hell _I_ was hard, watching her move so freely on the dance floor when she was normally so self-conscious.

My dick twitched in my jeans, knowing that Bella was so close. I moved to join her on the dance floor. Then I noticed that I wasn't the only one admiring her. It seemed like every guy in the place was staring at _My_ girl. And, of course, she was completely oblivious to her affect on others. She was always beautiful. But she had no idea how attractive and enticing her new curves were. I thanked God at that moment that despite our rough patch, Bella had maintained a healthy appetite. I stared at her in awe when I realized that she really wasn't the skinny girl I had fallen in love with a year ago. Instead, she was a curvy, sexy woman who could bring men to their knees. And she wanted _me_. I had been such an idiot to push her away.

I strode forward making sure I mad-dogged any guy who had the stupidity of thinking they had a chance with Bella. I even growled at some fool who took a step towards her, trying to make his move. He took one look at me and practically yelped and ran off in the opposite direction like the little bitch he was. No one was going to come between me and Bella. I glanced around the room to make sure everyone knew it. All the while, Bella was completely unaware of the sexual tension building around her.

I stepped up behind her, inhaling her scent and caught Liz's attention. She smiled at me and told Bella to turn around, which she did rather clumsily. Bella turned around quickly and tripped over her own feet. I reached out quickly and steadied her with my hands on her hips. She started to laugh at herself, especially since she nearly spilled her drink in the process. She looked down at my hands on her body then finally looked up into my eyes. Recognition flashed in her eyes and her smile lit up her face. She took my breath away.

"Jake!" She cried out rather loudly and jumped into my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist. I was surprised, to say the least. Bella rarely showed so much affection in public, never mind the fact that we were in front of a bunch of strangers. I hugged her tightly and buried my nose in her hair. I felt lighter already. She was finally in my arms and wrapped around my body. I closed my eyes and just breathed her in. She giggled and the next thing I knew her tongue was swirling around my earlobe sending shivers down my spine.

"Bells." I pulled back and cocked my eyebrow. "Honey, how much have you had to drink?" She leaned back in my arms keeping one arm draped over my shoulder while she eyed her cup thoughtfully.

"I don't know, a few. It's beer. Beer's foamy." She fell into another fit of giggles and I couldn't help but laugh. She was just too cute for her own good. I kissed her lightly on the lips and set her back down on the floor. Bella wobbled on her feet so I held her tightly to my body to prevent her from falling.

"Hey Jake," Liz shouted over the loud music. "Don't worry. Bella's had a lot to drink, but we only drank beer from the keg and I made sure to pour it myself. She doesn't seem to have a high tolerance for it, huh?"

"Oh please," Bella muttered. "I'm _toe_ under control right now. See? Watch!" She slurred her words then proceeded to gyrate against me and down to the floor only to pop back up, brushing against my leg. I pulled her back into me to help her maintain her balance _and_ to cover the huge erection threatening to burst from my pants caused by her sexy dancing.

"Sweetheart," I whispered in her ear. "Have you ever drunk before?"

"Nope," she answered, popping the "p" and giggling at the way it sounded. I had to admit, Bella was a funny drunk. She had me so distracted that she downed her almost full cup of beer before I had a chance to stop her. I felt bad because I knew she was going to feel like shit in the morning.

"Come on, Jake," she said, pulling me towards her. "Dance with us."

I glanced at Liz who merely smiled. "That's okay Bella. You dance with your man. I'm going to get another drink."

I liked Liz, but I was grateful that she left us alone so we could dance by ourselves. It had been too long since I'd held her like this in my arms and I didn't want to share the moment with anyone. The music playing was a fast dance song. But, Bella was content to sway slowly in my arms to the beat of her own music playing in her head. I bent down and kissed the top of her head and she sighed in my arms.

"Jake, I've missed you."

"I know, honey. I've missed you too. I'm so sorry for pushing you away. The reason I…"

"No, shh! No talking…just dancing."

"But, honey, I really need to tell you…"

"No," she mumbled and pressed her finger against my lips to silence me. Though, with her lack of coordination, she ended up poking her finger in my mouth instead. I bit her finger playfully and only succeeded in sending her into another fit of giggles. She clung to me and held me with her big doe eyes.

"Jake, do I sound drunk? I mean, I know I am, but do I sound it? Do you think people think I'm drunk?"

I laughed and kissed her nose. "No, honey. You sound just fine. And you don't look drunk either. You look beautiful."

"Hmm, I haven't felt beautiful in a while." I felt terrible. What kind of boyfriend was I if my girlfriend didn't feel beautiful? Bella kept talking, oblivious to how crappy I felt. "But, yep, whatever. Hey, let's get some more beer."

I rolled my eyes. "Sweetheart, don't you think you've had enough?"

She cocked her head to the side and looked me over. She gathered her hair in her free hand, up and off her neck to cool herself down. She then let her hair drop and her hand rested on her hip. I could see the tiny beads of sweat dripping down her graceful neck. And, God help me, I wanted to bend down and lick her from her shoulder to her face. I didn't care who saw. And, the look in Bella's eyes told me that she knew exactly what I was thinking. Bella was a dangerous creature on a good day. But her sexy clothes and lack of inhibitions was a lethal combination. She bit her lower lip and I nearly exploded in my jeans. I had missed her so much when I didn't have to. She could have been in my arms, in my bed all this time. Bella was a goddess who was in love with me and I was lucky to have her look at me like that.

Bella knew I could deny her nothing. So, when she led me towards the bar, I didn't resist. I filled her cup at the keg and handed it to her before pouring my own. When I turned back to her, she had just thrown the cup back and chugged the whole thing.

"Bells!" I shouted playfully. "You're supposed to pace yourself."

She sidled up next to me, her hands running up my chest. My heart was pounding so hard I felt like I couldn't breathe. "But, I _am_ pacing myself," she purred. And, before I knew what was happening, she yanked me by the neck and pulled me down into the hottest, wettest, sexiest kiss we'd ever shared.

Bella's tongue pushed passed my lips, touching and tasting my own. I'd denied us that kind of kiss for so long that I nearly came undone at the taste of her. She tasted a bit like the beer she'd been guzzling. But, under all that, her essence was purely Bella, all fire and sweetness. I kissed her back, hard. I didn't even know where I was. All I could see, think or feel was Bella all around me. I groaned as she bit my tongue and sucked it playfully into her warm mouth. I couldn't help myself so I pushed her back into the wall next to the bar and pressed my raging hard on into her sexy body.

She moaned loudly. Her hands were everywhere, pulling and clawing at my clothes and my hair. I didn't trust my own hands so I placed them firmly against the wall on either side of her head. I knew we shouldn't be doing that. We should have talked first, gotten everything out in the open. But, at that moment, all the things I _should_ be doing got lost in all the things I _wanted_ to do. I was about to go against my better judgment and touch her. I knew the moment my hands got into her luscious hair or onto her silky, smooth skin that I was done for. I would have to take her up against this wall and make my apologies later. But, none of that happened because someone cleared her throat behind me and I was finally brought to my senses.

I pulled away from Bella and she whimpered at the loss of contact. I knew exactly how she felt. I turned around and saw Liz standing there smiling at us. "Uh, sorry about that guys. I didn't want to interrupt. But, I need to take off. I was wondering if you guys could walk me home?"

"Yeah, sure. No problem. It's getting late anyway." I ran my hands through my hair nervously, just praying that Bella's roommate couldn't see how horny and sex starved I was.

"Thanks," she giggled and then handed me Bella's sweater. I helped Bella into it and smiled when I realized that it didn't quite hide the fact that her breasts were practically popping out of her shirt. I tugged on her hand and said, "Let's go honey."

"Aww," she pouted. "But I want more beer!"

I couldn't help but laugh. Bella was definitely entertaining. But, she was also stubborn and I knew I needed to think quickly if I was going to get her out of there without causing a scene…or _another_ scene.

I surveyed the bar and saw that it was stocked with at least one more un-tapped keg. I felt like I was in a movie. How much beer could these people drink? I turned to Bella and said, "Oh, sorry Bells. They're all out of beer."

"Oh no! But, it's so foamy." She laughed and stumbled against me.

"Come on, honey. Let's go."

I walked out of the building practically carrying Bella as she clung to my waist. Liz looked buzzed, but was walking just fine on her own. Bella started humming to herself and I shook my head.

"So, Liz, seriously, how much did you guys have?"

She thought about it for a minute. "Honestly, I kind of lost track. We just kept going back to the keg. She seemed kind of depressed before we got to the party. Kept talking about how you guys were going to have a "talk." She seemed kind of nervous about it. But, based on how you guys greeted each other, I can't imagine why." She winked at me before continuing. "Anyway, I figured she could use the stress reliever. I thought she could use a chance to go to town since I was there to watch over her." She looked at me pointedly and I felt a wave of guilt crash into me. Bella had been depressed because of me. I'd driven the love of my life to drink because I wasn't being there for her. I felt like shit.

"Jake?" Bella's sweet voice called to me.

"What is it, honey?"

"Do I sound drunk? I don't think I do. I know I've had a lot to drink, but I think I can handle my alcohol pretty well, huh? What do you think?"

I chuckled. "Bells. I already told you. You're fine. Don't worry about it."

"Jake, I'm tired. Carry me."

I was about to pick her up bridle style when she jumped into my arms wrapping her body around me, and pressed her breasts into my chest. At first, I was embarrassed because Liz was right there witnessing it all, but then Liz pointed to her cell phone and walked ahead of us so she could take her call in private. I tuned out her side of the conversation and focused instead on the goddess in my arms. She kissed my lips and her skin sent shocks straight to my dick. All I could think about was devouring her.

"This is _much_ better," she said confidently.

"Do you expect me to carry you like this all night?" Not that I minded. She knew I was strong enough. She was as light as a feather in my arms and I loved the feel of her ass in my hands. I just wanted to see how long I could have her body pressed up against mine in an attempt to "help" her.

"Well, why not? You're my big, strapping, hot, sexy wolf!" She howled, literally howled into the night. I practically tripped over myself when I heard her. Liz even broke from her conversation to flash Bella an encouraging smile and chuckled.

"You're beautiful, Bella," I whispered.

"Then why don't you want me anymore?" She was no longer playful and sounded downright miserable. Her eyes were vulnerable and sad.

"Honey, I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that way. I want you _all_ the time. I love you."

"But, you haven't touched me since…," her voice was rising and I tried to quiet her so that Liz wouldn't hear the intimate details of our lives. I didn't know if Bella had told Liz about the pregnancy scare or not. But, I figured if she hadn't, she wouldn't want to spill the beans while she was drunk.

"Bells, honey, shh. It's okay. I haven't touched you because…well, because I've been stupid and scared. I didn't want to get you pregnant and ruin our lives. I shouldn't have treated you that way. I shouldn't have shut you out like that. I've been such an idiot. But, I _always_ wanted you. It was killing me not touching you."

"Why have you been such a jerk? I mean, where are your bodyguards tonight?"

"Bodyguards?" But, then I realized she was referring to Quil and Embry. They _had_ been my bodyguards, guarding Bella's body from all the horny and depraved things I wanted to do to it. If they were around, it was harder for me to give in to temptation. They made it easier to keep my distance. "I'm sorry about that. I'll explain everything, I promise. I'll never let that happen again. I love you and I just hope you can forgive me."

She looked at me long and hard, trying to figure out if I was telling the truth. It killed me to know that I had planted that doubt in her mind. She then shrugged and smiled before resting her head on my shoulder and draping her arms loosely around my neck. I pressed her body tightly into mine happy to know that she was back where she belonged.

We were right outside their dorm and I headed for the main entrance when Liz tugged on my arm. She directed me back towards the sidewalk. "Sorry, but my friends invited me to stay with them tonight. It's a couple of buildings over. Would you mind?"

"Oh sure, no problem. We'll walk you over."

"Thanks, Jake. I really appreciate it. I know it's a safe campus. I don't want to feel like a dork or anything…"

"Liz, don't worry about it. It's fine. You can never be too safe." If she knew about all the things that went bump in the night like I did, she wouldn't feel so bad about asking for an escort. We made small talk as we walked toward her friend's building. Bella was content to rest her head against my shoulder. Liz asked about my business classes and then we moved on to her art classes. "Yeah, I'm into photography and painting," she said. "But, my true love is sketching. Just give me a piece of paper and some charcoal and I'll be happy. In fact, our professor has told us that we could use some models. You may want to look into it. It's pretty decent pay for just standing there for an hour."

That piqued my interest. "Really, all you have to do is stand there?"

Liz looked like she was about to burst into a fit of laughter. "Well, yeah…you'd just have to be naked."

My eyes popped open. Nude modeling? I was pretty uninhibited about my body, especially since being a wolf meant you were naked around people a lot. But, somehow, nude modeling in front of a bunch of art students didn't have quite the appeal.

"Yeah, thanks for the suggestion, Liz. But, I think I'll stick with whittling. I'm not much of a model. I prefer _modeling_ the wood into my own creations."

"Well, it was worth a try. Anyway, that's cool. I'd like to see your work sometime."

"Mmm," Bella moaned against my neck and burst into laughter. "Yeah, Liz. He's really good with his hands."

Liz smirked and shook her head while I stood there and blushed like an idiot. I was used to being the one who could make Bella blush with all of the suggestive things I said. It was weird to have the roles reversed.

"Okay, we're here." Liz broke the awkward silence. I followed her in figuring it would be polite to make sure she got to her friend's door safely. After all, Billy didn't raise me to do any less for a girl. As we walked down the hallway, Bella shimmied down my body and grabbed my hand. She was still wobbly on her feet, but I wasn't about to let her fall. Liz led us to a door at the end of the long hallway and stopped outside. There was loud music and laughter coming from the other side of the door. She turned to us and thanked me.

"Really, Jake, you didn't have to. But, I appreciate it." Then she looked from me to Bella and back again, winking conspiratorially. "And, just so you know, I won't be back until after lunch tomorrow. So, enjoy the room."

Before I could reply, she knocked on the door. Within seconds the door swung open and revealed every man's fantasy, that is, if they weren't in love with Bella. There were four girls dressed in tiny pajamas, drinking and listening to music. There was a Twister mat set up on the floor with pillows thrown all around. I could swear I saw feathers from those pillows just floating in the air. All I could think about was how Quil and Embry would have given their right arms to have seen it. I just shook my head and laughed thinking they'd try to come to every college party with me from now on.

The girl who opened the door smiled at Liz then took one look at me and her mouth fell open in shock. "Liz, hey. It's about time you showed up. And, hello biceps! Who's this?"

"Easy girls. He's taken," she laughed. "You guys remember Bella?"

"Hi Bella!" They all shouted in unison. Bella smiled happily and waved back while Liz continued her introductions. "And, this is Bella's boyfriend, Jake. Jake, these are my friends from art class, Lisa, Candice, Natalie, and April."

"Hi ladies."

"Hi Jake!" They said my name in a sing-song fashion and then giggled.

"Wow, Bella," Lisa gawked. "You said he was tall, but you didn't say he was _huge_!"

Bella snorted and replied, "That's not the only thing that's huge." Her hand had been resting on my belt loop to give her support. But, in a flash it had snuck down my stomach towards my crotch. I caught her arm just before she could grab my junk in front of all these girls. She struggled a bit, complaining, "Come on, Jake! Show them!"

"Okay Bells…time to say goodnight." Liz and the girls just laughed and Bella pouted adorably.

"Thanks again, Jake."

"Sure, no problem, Liz. Ladies, enjoy your night."

I started to walk away when the girls called out, "Bye Bella! Bye Jake!" They closed the door and started laughing uncontrollably. Thanks to my super hearing, I could tell they were talking about me. I could honestly care less what they thought about me. The only opinion that mattered to me was Bella's. And right now, she was walking crookedly back down the hall. She stumbled and tripped pulling me with her against the wall. I was quick enough to brace her head and her back with my arms so that she wouldn't get hurt.

"Whoa, there tiger! Take it easy."

She laughed and then looked at me with her beautiful eyes that told me she was up to no good. "Aw, Jakey likes the scantily-clad co-eds." She imitated their voices and repeated, "Hi Jake! Bye Jake! You were eating it up. Admit it." She poked me in the chest with her finger playfully and laughed even harder.

I flashed my easy grin. "I'm not going to lie, Bells. It's nice to be admired." I caressed her cheek and dragged my thumb over her plump lower lip. "But," I added, my voice dropping to a husky whisper. "They don't hold a candle to you. No one ever could. You're all I ever see."

Her breathing slowed and her chest heaved, pushing her breasts up into my face. She licked her lips and I went weak in the knees at the thought of being that close to her soft body.

"Take me back to my room," she said. At first, I panicked thinking I'd done or said something wrong. But, then I looked harder and saw the lust pouring out of her eyes. My nostrils flared as I inhaled deeply and could practically taste her arousal in the air. I didn't think. I just acted. I tossed her over my shoulder, cave-man style, and ran straight out the door towards her dorm like vampires were hot on our tail.

We burst into her room, hands all over each other. Bella pushed me against the door and I gasped at her strength. Our eyes locked and everything moved at lightning speed. She shrugged out of her sweater and tank top and threw them to the floor. I followed her lead and took off my own shirt quickly.

Our breathing was ragged. I froze thinking that we were moving too fast and that we should really talk things out first. But, our need was driving us and I couldn't ignore it. I slouched against the door with my legs spread out wide so that Bella could stand between them at eye level with me. She stood there with her bra and jeans, her hair wild and her face flushed with the hint of sweat and beer on her skin.

Simultaneously, we reached towards each other's jeans and started to unbutton and unzip. We had our shoes and jeans off in record time. I only had a few seconds to take in Bella's nearly naked body before she jumped back in my arms and attacked my lips furiously with hers. Her hands gripped my hair fiercely. I moaned into her mouth while she wiggled and ground herself against me.

I walked us over to her bed while her cold feet pushed and pulled my boxers down my hips. I helped her take them off and they dropped to the floor. I stepped out of them and placed her on her bed. She was sprawled on her back with her hair spread across her pillow. I'm not going to lie. It turned me on more than anything to watch her fuck me with her eyes. She licked her lips and eyed my dick like it was a tall glass of water and she was dying of thirst. I almost came on the spot when she crooked her finger and beckoned me to her. I crawled onto the bed and hovered over her. I gently pulled her bra strap down and kissed her all along her collarbone and up her neck.

"More, Jake," she moaned. Her nails scratched down my back, urging me on. I started to pull her panties down, but she cried out, "Faster, Jake! I need you now!"

I didn't need to be told twice. I ripped her panties off and growled as her scent wafted up into my nose free of any barriers. She took off her bra and tossed it to the floor leaving her body completely bare underneath me for the first time in weeks. I hardly knew where to begin. I wanted to lick, bite, and touch her all over. Instead, I settled for kissing her soft lips and sucking her tongue into my mouth. I pressed down on her, our skin touching and melting together. My dick twitched and strained at the feel of her skin. I ached to be inside her, to come home.

"Jake, now. I can't wait anymore!"

I was about to give us both what we wanted, what we needed, when I remembered the condom I'd been keeping in my wallet. I kissed her deeply and jumped off the bed. Her eyes widened in fear and I realized that she probably thought I was going to leave her hanging, yet again. I smiled reassuringly and touched her cheek, "I'll be right back, Bells. I need to get a condom."

She nodded in understanding then growled in frustration. "Hurry!"

I practically tripped over myself in my rush to the door where my jeans had fallen. I picked them up and rifled through the pockets cursing when I couldn't find my wallet.

"What the fuck?" I muttered angrily. Then I realized I was holding Bella's jeans. I rolled my eyes at my stupidity and tossed them aside. I picked up my own pair and found my wallet right away, taking out the condom. I rushed back to the bed, tearing the package open with my teeth and crawled up next to Bella. I was about to roll the condom on when I noticed that she hadn't moved since I got back in bed. My eyes traveled up her body and landed on her beautiful face. Her eyes were closed and her lips were parted slightly. Her breathing was slow and deep.

"Bells?"

She groaned, mumbling something I couldn't understand and turned onto her side, snuggling into her pillow. I looked at her in shock. A second ago, her body was on fire for me. And, now she was softly snoring, completely passed out. I tossed the now opened and ruined condom into the trash and stared sadly at my still raging hard on. I figured, I could probably go into the bathroom and take care of it, but something told me that suffering through a bad case of blue balls was poetic justice for holding out on her so long.

I put on my boxers, adjusting myself gingerly. I looked through Bella's drawers and found one of my t-shirts that she liked to sleep in and helped her into it along with a new pair of panties. She mumbled in her sleep and said, "Mmm, Jacob."

I lay down beside Bella and groaned when I realized how small the bed was. College beds definitely weren't made for werewolves. I pulled her close and wrapped my body around her thinking of all the opportunities to love her that I had missed. She pushed her perfect ass into my aching cock and I groaned at the sweet torture. It was going to be a long night. I kissed her softly on the forehead. Things weren't perfect. But, Bella was back in my arms. It couldn't get much better than that.

**A/N: You know what to do...please review and let me know what you think. **


	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do not.**

**A/N: As usual, I'd like to extend a special thank you to each and every one of you who read and reviewed the last chapter. As you know, your feedback means the world to me. So, thank you for taking the time to push that little button at the end of each chapter. And, of course, I'd like to thank those who reviewed anonymously. Since I can't send you a personal reply, I'd like to thank the following: Lara, AnonymousAussie, ace3, Hayley, Paola, Kayla and teamjake13. Your kind words are so inspiring. And last but not least in the thanks category, I'd like to thank my best friend Christine for her feedback. And, last but certainly not least, I'd like to thank the best collaborator in the world, Neha. Check out some important info in the A/N at the end of the chapter.**

**CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR **

Oh God! I wanted to die. I'd never felt so miserable in my life. I felt like shit. No, scratch that. That wasn't even a remotely good comparison. Every part of my body ached. My head was pounding and my eyes hurt.

I groaned when I sat up in bed, painfully aware that I was cold and alone. Not that I expected Jacob to stay with me. So much for that "talk" we were supposed to have. Then again, I didn't remember much of what _did_ happen last night. So, maybe we did have the talk and I just forgot. Damn it! How much did I have to drink? I groaned again as my head throbbed from thinking too much. Apparently, even my inner dialogue was too loud in my hung-over state. How the hell did I get this bad?

It all started when I got off the phone with Jacob last night. It was a short conversation, but it succeeded in taking me on a roller coaster ride of emotions. When Liz invited me to the party, I didn't want to go. It just wasn't my scene. I didn't drink, I didn't dance. Come to think of it, I also didn't seem to know how to have any fun. When I realized how boring I'd become, I told her I'd changed my mind and that I would go with her. When she suggested I invite Jacob to come along, I was even more enthusiastic. I realized that it would be a perfect opportunity for us to try to have some fun together. So, I called him. That's when the roller coaster ride began.

When he first told me that he couldn't come because he had to work, I was so disappointed that I could've cried. He just wasn't making an effort with me and it made me feel like our relationship was a lost cause. Then he seemed to change his mind and told me he could make it if I didn't mind him being late. I almost jumped for joy at that. Until I realized that he was probably going to bring Embry and Quil along. Then my mood sank again.

I loved Quil and Embry. They were my family. But, they had accompanied us everywhere Jacob and I went for the past two months. I didn't like the idea of having chaperones. I didn't think that Jacob did either. But, it was hard to tell, considering he was just as uncomfortable with them around as he was when he was alone with me. Of course, he then assured me that he was coming alone and my spirits soared, only to be dashed to pieces when he brought up the "talk."

The dreaded talk. As soon as I got off the phone with him I was terrified. Sure, all I had wanted was for us to talk, to figure out what had been bothering him and why he'd been so distant with me. But, as soon as I realized I was going to finally get what I wanted, I was scared. Edward had asked me for a talk once, and I ended up abandoned, lying on the forest floor. Needless to say, I was anxious about seeing Jacob.

My heart told me that I was being ridiculous and overly paranoid. I had never experienced anything like the love that Jacob and I shared. We belonged together. Every fiber of my being knew it. But, my head had other ideas. I mean, what was I supposed to think? He had been pushing me away for months, avoiding any and all explanations as to why he was acting that way. And then, out of the blue, he was being accommodating and wanted to talk. I panicked. What if he was trying to end things between us?

Liz had picked up on my negative vibe and offered to help me. I didn't want to air out all my dirty laundry, so I just told her he that I wanted to look irresistible to Jacob and that I wanted it to be impossible for him to keep his hands off of me. Secretly, I was hoping to remind Jacob of all that he'd be missing if he was trying to break up with me. Liz just saw it as a chance to play dress up. I had Liz help me pick out the sexiest outfit I owned. She helped me do my hair and apply my make-up. I had to admit that I was pleased with the end result. I felt sexy for the first time in a long while.

By the time Liz and I got to the party, I was a jumble of nerves. I couldn't think straight. All my self-confidence flew out the window and I was paralyzed with fear. I just knew that Jacob's arrival would signal the end of our relationship. And, I was in no position to cope with that. So, when Liz offered me a beer, I took it. I had hoped the alcohol would help dull my senses. I would need that if I was going to face my worst nightmare. One beer turned into three and then four and I kept at it until my mind grew fuzzy. The last thing I remembered clearly was dancing with Liz when Jacob approached me. I remembered jumping into his arms and kissing him like my life depended on it. After that, everything just kind of went black.

My stomach gurgled uncomfortably and it brought me back to the present. I couldn't believe how miserable I felt. I vowed then and there that I would never drink again. I threw off the covers so that I could head into the bathroom, and was shocked at my attire. I was wearing one of Jacob's shirts that I kept on hand to sleep in, along with a pair of granny panties, usually reserved for that time of the month. I scrunched my eyes in confusion because I knew for a fact that I hadn't worn those panties last night. I also realized I wasn't wearing a bra. I couldn't remember undressing myself, and if I did, why on earth would I have needed to change my underwear? A blush crept over my skin as I realized that someone else must have undressed me. I had to assume that it was Liz. And frankly, I didn't think we were _that_ close. I thought I would die of embarrassment. She probably thought I was a total lush now.

As if on cue, Liz waltzed out of the bathroom and walked towards me with a knowing smile on her face. "Well, good morning, sunshine!"

I dropped my head in my hands and whispered, "You don't have to yell, Liz. I'm sitting right here."

She shook her head and laughed. "Oh sweetie, you look miserable. Here, let me get you something."

She walked back into the bathroom and came out a moment later with a large glass of water and some aspirin. I took her offered gifts and smiled appreciatively. I didn't realize how thirsty I was until I saw the water. I downed the pills in one gulp and chugged the remaining glass as quickly as possible. I already felt better. At least, I didn't feel like I was going to die anymore.

"You're not going to puke are you? You don't look so hot." Though I knew she was genuinely concerned about me, I couldn't ignore the tone of her voice that said she cared about me, but not enough to pick up my puke.

"No," I answered quietly. "I don't feel sick so much as just…well, terrible doesn't quite cover it."

Liz seemed to anticipate my needs and quickly refilled my glass, handing it to me before sitting down on her bed. I couldn't shake the feeling that I had been a complete wreck last night. "I didn't do anything too embarrassing, did I?"

Liz replied with a smirk. "No, you weren't _too_ bad. I mean, it's not like a certain someone was complaining." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

I drank some more water until I realized her eyes were still on me. I turned towards her and found a mischievous grin plastered on her face.

"What?" Her staring was making me uncomfortable.

"You talk in your sleep," she replied.

My face turned beet red. I was pretty sure that I hadn't been talking much in my sleep as of late. I hadn't been dreaming much either and that's usually what led to all the talking. I would think that had I been talking in my sleep prior to last night, Liz would have mentioned something sooner. I was worried about the kinds of things I would talk about in my inebriated state. "Oh God, what did I say?"

Liz giggled. "Nothing too surprising. I mean, you were mumbling a lot of 'Oh Jakes,' but that's to be expected, right? You guys looked a bit hot and heavy last night. It looked like your seduction plan worked perfectly. I hope you made good use of the room."

"Obviously not if he couldn't be bothered to be here when I woke up." The bitterness in my voice shocked even me. Liz's smile faltered. She glanced at the floor by my bed and then back to me. She got up and picked up a piece of paper.

"Well, it looks like he left a note. It must have fallen after he left." I took the note from her outstretched hand and read it eagerly.

"_Hey Bells. _

_I'm sorry I couldn't be there when you woke up, but I had to rush home to get dressed for my tutoring session in the library today. I didn't want to wake you because you looked so peaceful and I know you need the rest. _

_I have to work this afternoon, but I should be off by dinnertime. We really need to finish our talk. I'll call you later. I love you. _

_Jake."_

I read the letter three times before I could even comprehend it. I racked my brain trying to remember the "talk" we'd had the night before, but my mind was blank. But his letter seemed so loving and so…well…Jacob. I could hear his voice through his words, the voice I'd longed to hear over the past two, lonely months.

I looked up and noticed that Liz had been eyeing me thoughtfully. "Bella, what's wrong? You look like someone just drowned your puppy. You looked freaking hot last night and Jacob was all over you. Your outfit worked. You had him eating out of your hand. I mean, he looks like he knows what he's doing, right?"

I chuckled. "Yeah, he used to."

"Oh my God! I knew it!" She bounced up and down excitedly. "I knew Mr. Perfect had his kryptonite! So, what is it? Is he a selfish lover, only wants to get himself off?" I was thrown. Liz looked so eager to get the scoop on Jacob.

"Oh, God, no! He's the best. I mean, he's the _only_. I mean, no, all he does is give."

"Damn it. He _is_ perfect," she muttered under her breath. "So, what's the problem then?"

I shifted uncomfortably in my bed. In the month we'd been roommates, we'd slowly gotten to know each other. But, we had yet to delve into deeper topics. She had proved to be a great friend though, and I figured now was as good a time as any to let her in on my emotional turmoil. I could use all the support I could get. My silence made Liz uncomfortable and she said, "Hey," she said. "If it's too personal, don't worry about it…"

"No, it's not that. It's just…"

And so I started spilling my guts. I told her about the pregnancy scare and how everything changed with Jacob after that. I told her about how our once hot and amazing sex-life had dwindled into something non-existent. And then I told her about how I was ready to spontaneously combust from all the sexual frustration. I finished off with how I couldn't remember a damn thing that had happened between Jacob and me the night before, but that based on the fact that I didn't wake up sweaty and naked next to Jacob, I could only assume that it was just more of the same between us.

"Wow," was Liz's stunned reply. "No wonder you've been Miss Cranky Pants lately."

"Thanks," I replied sarcastically.

"I'm sorry. This is going to sound wild and far-fetched, but I have to throw this out there. Have you _talked_ to Jacob about this?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, constantly. But, he's been so distant, so evasive. I don't know. Maybe he's seeing someone else."

"Honey, please!"

"What?" Okay, I didn't really think he would ever cheat on me, but I was out of ideas. Liz looked at me like I was crazy. And, I'll admit, I felt a little crazy.

"Bella, your man is gorgeous, smart, and funny. Any girl would want him. Hell, _I_ want him!"

I glared at her, immediately suspicious of her motives. Was she trying to tell me that she was going after Jacob? I warred with my own inner monster that wanted to reach over and rip her throat out. I didn't know whether to be furious or impressed with how brazen she was about her intentions. She must have seen the anger in my eyes because she held her hands up instantly.

"Easy there, tiger. Let me rephrase. I admit. I have a harmless crush on your boyfriend." The monster within roared in anger and I could swear a small growl escaped my throat. "But," she continued, ignoring my reaction. "You know I would never do anything to try to steal him from you, don't you? Not that I could if I tried…"

"What do you mean?" I was having a hard time processing it all.

"Bella, I could traipse around this room, butt-ass _naked_, and he wouldn't see anyone but you. I would kill to have someone look at me just _once_, the way Jacob looks at you every day. You may think the fire is gone, but I saw the two of you together last night. No, he's not seeing someone else. But, you won't ever know what's bothering him until you talk to him. And I mean really talk to him. Now, go take a shower. It'll help clear your head."

I got out of bed slowly. I didn't want to jostle my brain more than necessary. I stood up and found that my whole body ached. I didn't feel nauseous, as of yet, but I didn't feel good either. Liz lounged on her bed reading a magazine while I gathered some clean clothes and made my way into our tiny bathroom.

I let the hot water soothe me. The heat felt amazing. It always reminded me of what it felt like being wrapped up in Jacob's embrace. I couldn't get Liz's words out of my head. I felt so pathetic that I couldn't remember anything about last night. I found it hard to believe that Jacob had been all over me. If he had, I certainly missed out on a lot. I growled in frustration and turned the water off. I got dressed and figured I'd try to blow dry and style my hair so I looked somewhat presentable when I saw Jacob later that night. I was applying some lip gloss when I heard a panicked knock on the door.

"Bella, are you decent?" Liz's voice came out as a harsh whisper.

"Yeah, I…" But before I could finish my sentence, Liz came barreling through the door and closed it behind her. She fell against the door and her face was flushed.

"Liz, what's the matter with you?"

"Alright, Bella, spill it! Who is Edward and why haven't you mentioned him before?"

"Edward?"

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't play coy with me. Yeah, Edward! You know, god-like, reddish brown hair, a crooked smile that could make your panties drop…Edward. Now, who is he?"

"How do you know about Edward?" I stuttered.

"Well, maybe because he's waiting for you right outside this door."

I groaned. Edward had heard everything Liz had said, not to mention what was going on in her head. Though, knowing Liz, she probably wouldn't be all that embarrassed that Edward had heard her had she known it was a possibility. She'd probably repeat it to his face if I dared her. I admired that devil-may-care quality about her.

"Um, Liz, you may want to keep your voice down. Edward's got great hearing."

"Oh who cares?" She turned towards the door and whispered softly in a seductive voice, _"Oh Edward, you're so gorgeous I just want to rip your clothes off and have my way with you."_ She turned back to me with a smirk. "There, do you think he heard that? Now, stop avoiding the question. Who is this guy?"

I was embarrassed for her. "Well, he's my friend." It was the truth. Okay, I knew it wasn't the whole truth, but I hoped it would suffice. Of course, Liz was a smart girl.

"Your friend my ass. I heard the way he talked about you. Now, tell the truth…the _whole_ truth."

"Alright, God, is this the Inquisition?"

"No, I don't torture for answers. I just pester incessantly. So, spill it already."

I had opened up a lot to Liz already that day. I'd already laid out all my issues with Jacob. I wasn't prepared to go into my Edward history, which, if I was being honest, could probably fill up four novels. Of course, had Edward not been in the next room with super vampire hearing, I might have been more forthcoming about my past with him. Edward was having a hard enough time dealing with our break-up. I didn't want to drudge up the past for Liz and throw it in his face. So, I tried to stick to the basics.

"Well, we used to date."

"Yes, _and_," she urged me to continue.

"What? That's it. We used to date and now we're friends."

She eyed me shrewdly. "He was your first love, wasn't he?"

"Well, I…uh…yeah, he was."

I didn't expect her next reaction at all. "Unfreaking-believable! You mean to tell me that you've dated not one, but two of the most gorgeous guys in the world? Jesus Bella! Ever heard of sharing the wealth?"

I stared at her in stunned amazement, then shook my head and chuckled. I could always count on Liz to tell me exactly what she was thinking.

"So," she said in a suggestive tone. "Did you three ever…?"

"Ever what?" I asked, genuinely confused by her suggestive tone.

"You know…you're three gorgeous people, with gorgeous bodies…I'm just saying that with the right kind of music, in the right place, maybe if you all had a bit too much to drink…you never know."

"Oh, God Liz! You can't be serious!"

"What? I was just curious? People experiment in college you know…"

Liz was exasperating, yet I couldn't hold back my smile. I grabbed her by the arms, turned her around and shooed her out of the bathroom. "Liz, go!"

"Alright, alright," she opened the door and I was about to close it on her when she stuck her head back in and said, "Bella, since Jacob doesn't want to pose nude for my art class, why don't you ask Edward if he will?"

My mouth fell open. "You asked Jacob to pose nude?"

"Well, yeah. Not for me personally, you know. It was for the benefit of my classmates."

I rolled my eyes and gently pushed her. "Liz, get out of here."

"Fine, fine. It was worth a try. I'll leave you alone with Edward. See you later."

I took a few deep breaths and looked at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. My face was flushed, but that wasn't really anything new. I was more concerned about the lasting effects of my hangover. I didn't want to deal with Edward's preaching, especially when I was missing Jacob so much and my head was pounding incessantly.

I opened the bathroom door to find Edward looking through the books on my desk. His back was turned towards me when he quipped, "So, Liz is…_interesting_."

I smiled and walked past him, settling on my bed. He pulled out my desk chair and sat down across from me. It was genuinely nice to see him. It was rare when he had a chance to visit. Medical school kept him busy in Seattle. And, though he didn't need to sleep, I obviously did, which limited his availability to see me.

A lot had changed over the past two months, and not just between me and Jacob. Though Alice had said the Cullens, minus Carlisle and Esme, would follow Edward to Seattle, they never really got around to it. Instead, they collectively decided to take time off from school to pursue their own endeavors.

Jasper decided to do some writing on the Civil War. Since he was actually, personally involved, he possessed a unique perspective. He was known to write impressive dissertations and submit them anonymously to various journals. Of all the siblings, he found the high school and college scene the most tiresome. He saw this break from school as an opportunity to do his own thing for once. Not to mention it left him more free time to train and work with the wolves.

Alice kept herself busy searching the world for potential allies in our war against The Volturi. Since she was mostly blind where I was concerned, she focused her visions on Carlisle and his many acquaintances throughout the years. Whenever she had a vision, she'd contact Carlisle and he and Esme would then make yet another stop on their world tour.

Rosalie and Emmett…well, they mainly focused on themselves. Emmett liked to spend his free time finding ways to annoy and pester his siblings. When he wasn't doing that, he got a kick out of helping Jasper with his battle strategies and messing with the wolves, namely Jacob and Paul. It thrilled him to know that he knew just what buttons to push to make them angry. I wasn't really sure what Rosalie did in her free time, but it was clear that she thrived off of her freedom. Of course, it didn't escape my notice that their new-found freedom gave them more time and opportunity to watch over me. I was fine with it, as long as they remained unobtrusive. And, thus far, they had kept their distance.

After we caught up on what his siblings had been up to, we ended up talking about school for a bit. But I could tell he had an agenda for this particular visit. "So, what really brings you by today, Edward?"

"What, I can't just pop in for a visit?"

"You know you can. But you look like you want to say something."

He sighed. "How is it that I'm the one who can read minds, yet you're the one who always seems to know what I'm thinking?"

"I guess I'm just special."

He nodded in agreement. "I just wanted to see how you've been. Alice has been worried about you."

I folded my legs underneath me and rested my chin on my palms. I was about to say that I was fine, that there was nothing to worry about. But, I knew Edward wouldn't buy it. So, I tried to change the subject. "Have you heard from Carlisle and Esme?"

Edward flashed me his crooked grin. I wasn't putting anything past him, but it looked like he was going to humor me for a little while longer. "They're doing well. After they left Ireland, they spent some time in South America. And, now they're in Romania."

"Do you really think they'll find enough allies to go up against The Volturi with us?"

"Well, Alice sees that they will. And, you know I don't bet against her. In the four hundred plus years of Carlisle's existence, he's met some powerful vampires. In fact, The Romanians he's meeting with now were actually in power before The Volturi. They're still bitter about how they were overthrown. Alice is confident that they'll do just about anything to get back at Aro. They're pretty creepy. But, I'd rather them be on our side than anyone else's."

"So, we have a chance then?"

"Bella, there's always hope. Sure, Alice can't see what The Volturi have planned, but we're not going to let anything happen to you."

"I know, Edward. And I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. You guys really are my family." I meant it with all sincerity, but I saw a flash of pain in Edward's eyes when I said it. It was yet another reminder that I'd rather think of him as a brother, rather than a love. He recovered quickly though.

"Bella, are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

Clearly he wasn't going to let this go. I was exhausted and hung-over. I had already talked things through with Liz. I didn't want to rehash all my raw emotions with Edward. I looked into his golden eyes and said, "Nothing, really. I just had a lot to drink last night and now I have a huge headache."

He frowned disapprovingly. "Yes, well, Alice mentioned that you had a pretty wild night. She would have come to check on you herself, but your future disappeared and she knew Jacob must have shown up. I assume he took good care of you then?"

I wanted to say yes, of course he did. But, I was embarrassed to admit that I couldn't rightfully remember. I did make it to my room safely though. And, according to his letter, Jacob had stayed with me all night. I also couldn't forget that Liz had mentioned that Jacob and I had been all over each other, whatever that meant…

"You're hesitating, Bella. What's going on with you? I promise you can tell me anything."

I don't know what it was about me that morning, but I was compelled to spill my guts first to Liz and now to Edward. I was desperate for a confidante. Jacob used to be that for me. But, he wasn't there. He was never there, and I needed him. I felt a tear fall from my eye and in a flash, Edward was by my side, sitting next to me on my bed with his arm thrown over my shoulder.

"Shh, love, don't cry."

I couldn't help it. The floodgates had opened and there was no way to close them. "Oh, Edward, it's just that Jake's been so distant lately. I don't know if he's just lost interest in me since the whole pregnancy thing, but I just feel so alone."

Edward stiffened. I knew he was uncomfortable with the topic. In truth, I didn't want to lay that particular burden on him. But, I felt like I had no choice. I needed someone to talk to about it and I knew that Edward would listen, regardless of how much it hurt him. I cried even harder realizing that I didn't deserve him as a friend. I was being cruel and selfish. He pulled me closer, wrapping both arms around me and pressed my head against his chest. My tears spilled down and drenched his shirt. Between sobs, I was able to force out, "Liz thinks I'm being crazy, but I can't help but think that he's seeing someone else."

Edward growled angrily in response and then his hand rubbed up and down my back soothingly. "Bella, I know I haven't made things easy for you two. But, I've seen his mind. He's physically and emotionally incapable of cheating on you. You mean everything to him. You just have that effect on people."

He chucked my chin playfully and gave me a reassuring look. "Have you talked to him? Have you really asked him what's wrong?"

"I've tried. But, I haven't gotten anywhere."

"That doesn't sound like you, Bella. You're the most stubborn person I know. If you want an answer, you don't stop until you get it."

I nodded my head and let his hold tighten around me. His familiar scent was comforting. My voice was a strangled whisper. "I guess I'm just afraid to hear the truth; that it really is over. If I keep this up, if I keep pretending that things will just resolve themselves, then at least it isn't over."

Edward held me while I sobbed against his chest. It was at that moment that I realized I was repeating my mistakes. After my disastrous eighteenth birthday party, I felt Edward pull away from me. In his mind, he had already left me that night, even if he remained physically in my presence. I felt him slipping away, but I did nothing to stop it. I was too afraid. I was afraid that if I confronted him, the truth would come out and he'd leave me.

Obviously, my fears did nothing to change the outcome of that scenario. I stayed silent and he left anyway. I argued constantly with Alice about her over protective ways, saying I wouldn't be ruled by fear. The Volturi weren't going to prevent me from living my life. And yet, here I was letting fear of a broken heart prevent me from talking to the one person I loved most. I was being an idiot.

I sat up and wiped the tears from my eyes. I wasn't going to be a weak observer of my own life. Truly living meant being an active participant. I was hurt and I was angry. But, I was also determined. I was going to _make_ Jacob talk to me. I was sick and tired of these games and I was going to let Jacob know it. I turned to Edward who had been eyeing me solemnly. "So, you're going to talk to him," he said matter-of-factly. I nodded. "Good. I hope everything works out for you, Bella. I really do."

He stood up resting his hand on my shoulder as he looked down into my eyes. "I'll be in Forks until tomorrow night. I'll be hunting tonight, but if you need me, you know you can just call."

"Thank you." He gave me a tight-lipped smile and walked out of the room.

I looked at the clock on the nightstand. It was a quarter to twelve. If I remembered correctly, Jacob's tutoring session would be finished by noon. He was then going to work the rest of the day and I wouldn't see him until dinner time. That wasn't good enough for me. I needed to talk to him, immediately. I had put it off long enough.

I checked my appearance in the bathroom. I splashed some water on my face to wipe away the tracks of my tears. The cool water left a healthy blush on my pale skin. I tucked my loose hair behind my ears and reapplied my lip gloss. I was ready to find Jacob. So, I marched out of my room and out of the dorm, heading across campus to the library. Jacob had been meeting with his tutor for a couple of weeks. He wasn't doing that poorly in Accounting, but he decided to be proactive and get a tutor to ensure he didn't fall behind. I was proud of him. It showed real maturity to know when to ask for help. If only he could have shown the same maturity with our relationship.

As I walked through the large quad in the middle of campus, I was blind to everyone and everything around me. My mind was focused solely on what I was going to say to Jacob. I didn't have any clever speeches prepared. When it was all said and done, I'd probably just barge in there and say, _Talk to me you idiot! _And then I'd stand there, I wouldn't budge or take no for an answer until he talked to me. It wasn't very creative, but it would definitely get me the results I wanted.

I walked into the library, past the reference desk and into the building's atrium. It was a three-story building with a number of computer labs and private rooms. He could be anywhere and I worried that by the time I figured out where he was, he'd have left already. I thought carefully. If I were Jacob, where would I want to study? Then I noticed the bright light shining down from the atrium windows. The sun was bright and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. I hadn't noticed what a beautiful day it was on my walk over here. Jacob would want to be outside as much as possible on a day like this. So, I walked towards the back of the building where I knew they had a patio filled with tables and chairs. If Jacob was still here, that's where he would be.

I pushed open the patio door and looked around. The tables were set up in a semi-circle on the patio. I looked to my left and saw a couple of tables occupied by lone students. Then I turned to the right and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Jacob. He was wearing a tight black t-shirt with a pair of dingy looking jeans. He always wore those when he was going to work. He liked to reserve his darker, better looking jeans for when he was with me. His head was bowed in concentration over his book. He looked…beautiful. His hair was getting longer and it looked a bit shaggy. He would need another haircut soon, unless he planned on growing it out again. I was so caught up in what I saw, that I nearly forgot why I was there in the first place. I told myself to keep my head in the game and to stop focusing on his beauty. That had always gotten me into trouble with Edward and I had already decided that I was going to learn from my mistakes. I walked with purpose, determined to get my man back, one way or another.

All of a sudden, my step faltered as if my body sensed what my eyes couldn't see. I finally glanced at Jacob's tutor and a wave of nausea swept through me. Gorgeous wasn't an accurate word to describe her. Stunning, beautiful and pretty all fell shy of the mark. This girl was a goddess who could give Rosalie a run for her money. I looked down at what I was wearing; my uniform of a casual t-shirt, jeans and my tennis shoes. Then I looked up at the impeccably dressed creature next to Jacob and cringed. She had long, golden hair that fell down her shoulders in soft curls. Her make-up was subtle, but it accentuated her flawless features. She wore a low-cut tank top and though I couldn't quite see since her body was hidden by the table, I'd wager she was also sporting the tightest pair of jeans imaginable. Her hands were perfectly manicured and a pair of strappy sandals adorned her feet. _Who dresses like that for a tutoring session?_

The real kicker wasn't the clothes she was wearing, but the way she angled her body so that her breasts pushed up and out of her shirt. She was leaning into him, so closely, that she was practically sitting on his lap. She pointed to something in his notes and he laughed, which made her giggle like the mindless _hussy_ she was. She even tossed her hair back and batted her eyelashes at him. Anger flooded my veins. I took another step forward and Jacob's eyes finally met mine. At first, his mouth broke into a brilliant smile; my smile. But, then it wavered and a look that I didn't quite recognize dominated his face. _Was it guilt?_

"Bells," he jumped up in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

The _harlot_ shot me an annoyed glare, but I chose to ignore her and focus all my energy on Jacob. "I…I wanted to talk to you," I managed through clenched teeth.

There was that look again. Now I knew he looked guilty, and I could swear he hung his head in shame. My heart started pounding out of my chest. What could possibly make him look so guilty? I was afraid to find out.

"Oh, sorry Bells." He motioned towards the blonde casually. "This is my tutor, Shawna. Shawna, this is my girlfriend, Bella."

Girlfriend. It was a perfectly acceptable word. I'd never had a problem with it before. But, at that moment, in light of the fact that my whole world was about to fall apart, the word just seemed so small and insignificant. I was more than that, wasn't I? I was his life, his love; the missing piece of his soul. And he was mine. Yet, to this _trollop_, I was just a girlfriend.

Shawna flashed me a fake smile and said, "Nice to meet you Bella. I've heard a lot about you." Her voice was saccharine sweet and rivaled Jessica Stanley's on a bad day. Though her smile remained intact, her eyes narrowed as she surveyed me up and down, sizing me up. There was a challenge in her eyes. I knew without a doubt that this girl wanted Jacob. I couldn't help it. The most primal part of me rose up to that challenge. I stared her down and said, "Yeah, well I wish I could say the same."

I immediately turned to Jacob. "I need to talk to you, in _private_." He practically tripped over himself to follow me. Shawna looked put out. I just glared at her as Jacob excused himself and told her he'd be right back.

He followed me back into the library and I led us to a secluded corner behind some reference stacks. I turned around and looked at his face. His head was down and he couldn't meet my eyes. My stomach clenched, boiling with anxiety. Maybe it was worse than I thought. He really was cheating on me. I wanted to yell, scream, accuse. I wanted to tell him how he was breaking my heart. But, I didn't get the chance.

"Bells, honey, I know you must be mad. I'm so sorry about last night. I didn't mean to take advantage of you. It's just that, after we talked, you were so forgiving and so…loving. I just couldn't resist you. It should never have gotten that far. Not like that. I'm sorry if I made you feel…"

"What the hell are you talking about?" I couldn't conceal my anger. What talk? What does he mean he took advantage of me? As if that were possible. I trusted him with my whole life. Or, at least, I used to. Now I wasn't so sure. And he wasn't exactly addressing the issue at hand, which was the big-breasted _tramp_ who was throwing herself at him mere moments ago.

He stuffed one hand in his pocket and the other one he raked through his hair nervously. He took a step towards me and lowered his voice to just above a whisper. He glanced around making sure no one would hear him. "I'm talking about last night when we…_almost_…"

Jacob Black was actually blushing. He looked at me, nodding his head suggestively as if that would somehow make me understand what he was talking about. "When we _almost_ what?"

"You mean, you don't remember?" I couldn't tell if he was relieved or hurt by that revelation.

"Jake, all I remember is getting drunk off my ass, you showing up at the party, and then me waking up _alone_. Again."

He flinched and recoiled at the anger in my voice. His big brown eyes were wide and vulnerable. I forced myself to look anywhere but those eyes, as they were likely to douse the flames and make me forget all my anger and all my pain.

"I don't understand, Bells. If you don't remember what happened, then why do you look so angry?"

I clenched my fists, fury nearly blinding me. "Well, I have a number of reasons for that. But, let's just start with Shawna and why you look so damn guilty!"

"Shawna? What about her? She's my tutor." He had the audacity to look completely innocent.

"Right, she's your _tutor_. She's just your tutor who looks like a Playboy model. Have you even seen what she's wearing? Her boobs are hanging out and she's desperately trying to push them in your face. I'm supposed to believe that you picked her solely for her business acumen?"

Jacob took a step towards me, his mouth breaking into a subtle grin, which only succeeded in infuriating me more. He tried to wrap me in his arms, but I swatted his hands away. I didn't want to fall into his comforting embrace. I needed answers. He sighed loudly. "Bells, I didn't pick her. She works at the tutoring office and helped me fill out my application. She called me the next day and said she was assigned to me. What was I supposed to do?"

"Then why didn't you tell me about her. You've been meeting with her for weeks, at all hours of the day. You never once said that your tutor was female, let alone every guy's wet dream."

He laughed and bit his lower lip. I narrowed my eyes at him in defiance. I was not going to let his sexy quirks divert me from my anger. But, this time he was too quick for me and he was in front of me, his hands caressing my face, before I had a chance to push him away. "Honey, I didn't tell you because it never crossed my mind. I don't see her like that. She's just a girl. She's helped me with my class and that's all. You're the only one I see. She can't compare, especially when you look so adorable when you're jealous. It's a real turn on."

I yanked his hand away from my face. "Then you're a fool. I saw the way she looked at you when she didn't know I was watching. And, the way she looked at me, like she was taking stock of her competition. She wants you Jake."

He looked at me dumbfounded. "Well, even if that was true, I don't want her. I only want _you_."

"Really?" I scoffed. "You could have fooled me. You haven't even touched me since Christmas. If you aren't getting it from me, maybe you're getting it from someone else."

He looked stricken, like someone had punched him in the gut. Then his expression changed to one of fierce determination. He stalked forward, backing me up against a bookcase. His hands caressed my face and he stooped down to press gentle kisses to my forehead, cheeks and nose. When his lips softly grazed over my own, I began to melt into his touch. He pulled away before he could deepen the kiss and whispered in my ear, "Bella, I know I haven't been good to you lately. I don't have an excuse. But, I want to explain. I want to make it up to you. Please, let me." He continued leaving a trail of wet kisses down my neck and I was left breathless.

His kisses were getting more passionate. My knees were weak and I found myself clinging to his shoulders and arms like a life line. This is what I had been missing from my life. I felt his tongue brush against my lower lip and I knew I would be done for if I didn't do something quick. I didn't want him to think that a few kisses would make up for two months of silence. I pulled away and said the first thing that came to mind. "You know, Edward was right. He said you weren't cheating on me."

Jacob froze like I'd poured a bucket of ice water over his head. "Wait a minute. You were talking to Edward about me; about us?" He released a low growl and I saw a bit of the ferocious wolf he fought to keep contained. I glared at him. "Oh, now look who's jealous. Of course I talked to Edward," I snapped back angrily. "Who the hell else was I supposed to talk to? Where have you been?"

His anger dissipated quickly at my angry tone. "You're right, Bella. I've put you through so much already. Look, I don't want to fight." He looked down at his watch. "Honey, I have to finish up with Shawna. Then I need to get to work. Can we finish this…"

"Yeah," I interrupted him, and idea forming in my head. "Actually, we are finished here. I have something I want to say to Shawna anyway."

I took off and ran through the library back out to the patio. I didn't even take the time to look at Jacob's shocked expression as he ran after me. I found Shawna where we'd left her. She was adjusting her bra, making sure her breast were exactly where she wanted them. She pulled out a compact from her purse and proceeded to admire her reflection, while a manicured nail straightened the outline of her lipstick. It took her a while to even notice that I was standing in front of her, seething with rage.

"Oh," she said in a wicked voice. "Leaving so soon?"

"Bells," Jacob called from behind me and held my arm gently. His voice was worried. "Honey, come on, let's…"

"Uh oh," Shawna looked between me and Jacob. "Trouble in paradise?"

I glared at her haughty face. I didn't even know who I was anymore. I wasn't the shy, passive girl who was going to let this tramp walk over me to get my man. I also had two months of pent up sexual frustration driving me. This girl had no idea who she was messing with. I placed my hands, palms down, on the table and leaned down so that Shawna and I were at eye level.

"Shawna," I said sweetly. "I know what you're trying to do here. You can toss your bleached hair and thrust out your fake boobs all you want. The way you're dressing and the way you're throwing yourself at Jacob is beyond desperate. It's pathetic. It's _my_ bed he comes to at night." Okay, she didn't need to know that it had been a rare occurrence as of late. But, I soldiered on and renewed my attack on this threat to my happiness. "You can walk around naked in front of him, but you'd be wasting your time. You see, _Shawna_, you're overlooking one important fact. Jacob is _mine_. I just thought you'd like to know that before you really embarrass yourself."

Shawna's mouth opened in shock. She looked like she wanted to say something back, but she was at a loss for words. I glared at her and turned around towards Jacob whose eyes looked like they were going to bug out of his head. There was a definite hint of lust in his stunned gaze. I tapped him angrily on the chest with my finger. "And I'll talk to _you_ later." I then walked away and left the love of my life behind, tongue-tied and confused.

I was so full of crazed energy that I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't have to work and I didn't want to stay cooped up in my room all day. So, I decided I'd go visit Alice. Maybe she could give me a way to channel all my frustration so that I could have a civilized conversation with Jacob rather than sounding like an insane banshee. I was embarrassed about my behavior in front of Shawna. I'd never felt so out of control, yet, at the same time, I felt a swell of confidence at how I defended what was mine. Of course, I didn't really think of Jacob as my property, but his heart belonged to me. And, I realized that day that I would fight like a wildcat to keep it. Jacob just needed a strong reminder of that fact.

I got to my dorm room, picked up my purse and keys and headed back out on my way to Forks. Half-way into town, I realized I was low on fuel and stopped to get gas. I checked my cell phone and saw about ten missed calls from Jacob. I figured it would be best to call Jacob back right away to try to smooth things over. I was afraid he might be angry with me. After all, he did act like Shawna was his friend. I decided to suck it up and called him anyway. The phone only rang once before he answered.

"_Bells"?_

"Yeah, Jake. Look, I'm sorry for…"

"_Honey, that was the sexiest thing I've ever seen." _He growled huskily.

Well, that wasn't the response I was expecting. "Huh? I mean, what?" I stuttered, completely taken off guard. He chuckled at my discomfort.

"_Bells, you were right. Shawna was totally into me. I never noticed before until today. As soon as you left, she tried to tell me that I could do so much better than you."_

I growled at that piece of information, while Jacob continued laughing. And here I thought I had been too hard on the girl. Apparently, I hadn't been hard enough.

"_Don't worry. I told her how insane she was and that you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. I told her, in no uncertain terms, that she could fuck off."_

I was stunned that he gave up his tutor for me. "But Jake, your Accounting class…"

"_Already taken care of. I rushed over to the tutoring office and got a new tutor assigned already. And, just so you know, he's the shortest, scrawniest, geekiest guy I've ever met. We're going to look like David and Goliath whenever we walk into the library. He's seriously going to hurt my cool factor. It's going to be humiliating."_

He was really playing up the sympathy factor, and I couldn't help but laugh along with him. It was strange to hear us laughing together after so long. He must have noticed too because he immediately fell silent. After a quiet moment, he spoke up again.

"_Bells, I know things have sucked between us lately. And trust me, it's all my fault. It had nothing to do with you. But, I want to make it up to you. I want to explain everything. Billy and Rachel are going to be out tonight. Please come over. We'll have the house to ourselves. I really want to talk everything out with you."_

There was a loud commotion on his end. "_Oh, sorry, honey. I really need to get back to work. Please say you'll come over."_

"Yeah, I'll be there."

"_Great." _I could hear the smile in his voice. "_I'll see you tonight."_

"Okay, I'll see you then."

I was about to hang up when he said, _"Oh, and Bells? I love you." _And then he hung up leaving me smiling and breathless. I pulled out of the gas station and headed back onto the highway towards Forks. I felt reinvigorated, for the first time in a long while. Jacob hadn't been angry with me about my blow-up with Shawna. Instead, he was turned on by it. There was hope yet and that filled me with joy.

I arrived at the Cullens' house a few minutes later. I parked my car in the driveway, behind Edward's SUV. I was hoping that he had already left to go hunting. After all, I was planning on asking Alice for advice, and I didn't want Edward around when I did. I walked up to the porch and raised my hand to knock when the door opened abruptly and Jasper appeared on the threshold. He looked agitated and uncomfortable.

"Uh, hey Jasper."

He took one look at me and groaned miserably saying, "Hi" and "Bye," then sped off into the forest in a blink of an eye.

"Bella," Alice called from inside. "We're in the kitchen. I know you're hungry." My stomach growled in response. It was at that moment that I realized I hadn't eaten anything all morning. My hangover and my confrontation with Shawna had taken a lot out of me. I knew that if I wanted to have the energy needed to face Jacob later, I'd need my strength. I stepped into the foyer and closed the door behind me.

"Hey Slugger!" Emmett ran up and caught me in one of his infamous bear hugs. I hated that nickname. He'd pull it out randomly just to torment me. I'd never live down the fact that I punched Jacob in the face after our first kiss. Emmett loved to remind Jacob of that fact whenever they trained together. But, as usual, Emmett's trademark exuberance always had the ability to raise my spirits.

"Hello to you too Emmett!"

He smiled and put me down gently. "What's up with Jasper? Why did he leave like that? We were in the middle of a game."

I shook my head. "Your guess is as good as mine. He seemed a little stressed if you ask me."

Rosalie made her entrance and scowled at her rambunctious husband. "Emmett, would you stop man-handling Bella for once and leave her alone. Besides, Alice says Bella's here for girl talk. So, go back to your video games and leave us alone." Rosalie led me into the kitchen, while Emmett stomped back into the living room, mumbling under his breath.

In the kitchen, Alice was putting the finishing touches to a gourmet lunch. I sat down at the kitchen island while Alice watched me expectantly. I quickly took a bite and told her it was delicious. Alice and Rosalie took seats around the island and watched me eat. I couldn't stand their staring any longer. So I brought up Jasper's strange behavior, hoping it would be an interesting topic of conversation. I wasn't prepared for what I was about to learn.

"So, what the heck was up with Jasper?" They shared knowing looks. "Okay, seriously, what's going on? I mean, Jasper took one look at me and took off. He looked miserable. What happened?"

"Well," Alice began. "Jasper's kind of had a rough couple of months." She looked like she was choosing her words carefully. "He's been uncomfortable around you lately."

My eyes widened in surprise. "But, why would I make him uncomfortable?" Then, I panicked thinking Jasper must be having trouble keeping his bloodlust in check. He had seemed so much better lately. I had been around him several times since my eighteenth birthday and he always appeared to have complete control.

"Well," Alice hedged, while Rosalie simply watched looking bored. "How do I say this delicately? You see, lately, Jasper's noticed that you've been…well…_agitated_ is probably the best word I can think of. I mean, you've been acting and feeling a lot like you did when you were with Edward and it's…well, it's kind of wearing on poor Jasper."

"I…I don't understand, Alice. How am I acting? I don't see why it should be affecting Jasper…"

Rosalie groaned in annoyance and said, "For Christ's sake Bella. You've been acting all horny and frustrated!"

"Rosalie!" Alice admonished.

"What? It's true," Rosalie snapped back. She turned to me, her eyes filled with kindness. "Look Bella, your hormones have been driving Jasper up the wall. And when he's miserable, we're _all_ miserable!"

I was mortified. I wanted to bury my head in the sand and pray this day had never happened. I woke up with a hangover, had to deal with Jacob's slutty tutor, and now I was being told to my face that I was uncomfortable to be around because I wasn't getting laid. It just kept getting worse.

"Holy shit!" Emmett ran in from the living room, his video game long forgotten. "That's why Jazz left?" He looked from Rosalie to Alice for confirmation. And then he turned his focus on me as he burst into hysterical laughter. "Oh my God, you're not getting laid? Since when did Jacob start taking lessons from Edward? Oh, this is awesome. That explains so much…Jasper always whined and moped when you came over. Then he'd always jump Alice's bones the moment you left."

Rosalie jumped off her stool and ushered a hysterical Emmett out of the kitchen. "Get out of here you big lug. Go find Jasper to play with, now!"

He let Rosalie push him out, but he kept looking past her towards me where I sat in utter humiliation. "Aw, Rosie! This is too much to pass up." Then he shouted at me, "Bella, you've gotta break that boy. Sex is good for your health. It keeps your hair shiny…"

I heard a loud smack followed by a grunt from Emmett. Rosalie yelled, "If you don't leave us alone, I swear you're going to join Bella and Jacob in the no sex club!"

"Alright, alright," he complained. "I'm going. But, I want all the details later, baby." He pecked her on the cheek and ran out of the house like a blur before Rosalie had a chance to reply.

I groaned in misery. Alice hugged me, assuring me that everything would be alright, while Rosalie looked on with a smirk on her face.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I didn't realize my…sex-life was affecting you so much."

"Honey," Rosalie chimed in. "It's your lack of a sex-life that's affecting us."

"Yes, thank you." I said crossly. "I get it." I rolled my eyes at her. "Look, I don't want to feel this way anymore. Jacob and I had a little fight today. But, I think things are getting back on track"

I explained how crazy my day had been since I woke up with a hangover without Jacob. I relayed the fact that my roommate now had a crush on both Jacob and Edward and was probably enjoying some threesome fantasies as we speak. Then I told them about how I embarrassed myself in front of his skank tutor, which Jacob had found sexy as hell. "It's so confusing. He's been cold for weeks on end, and the one day I act like a crazed lunatic, he's practically drooling at my feet."

"Well," Alice smiled. "At least you know he still wants you. I mean, a few weeks ago, you weren't so sure."

"Yeah…" And then it hit me. Jacob obviously had a lot of explaining to do. But, I was sick of waiting around for him. He liked it when I showed some assertiveness? Well, he had no idea what was in store for him when he got home from work. Rosalie eyed me warily.

"Bella, it looks like the wheels are turning in your head. What are you thinking about?"

I looked from Rosalie to Alice and declared confidently, "You're going to help me get my man back!" After the initial squeals of excitement from Alice, the two women got a game plan together and set to work.

Hours later, I pulled up onto Jacob's gravel driveway and let myself into the empty house. I'd spent the last few hours getting primped and waxed while Alice bought me the sexiest lingerie she could find. I also swung by the market for some groceries, knowing that the way to my man's heart was also through his stomach. I had an overwhelming sense of confidence that I hadn't had in weeks.

I got to work in the kitchen first, preparing a large roast. I knew that Jacob would be especially hungry after what I had planned for him. After I got the food in the oven, I made my way into his bedroom to set up. Rosalie had helped me pick out some satin sheets and some freesia scented candles, which I placed throughout the room. I took my little pink bag into the bathroom and pulled out a red lacy baby-doll with matching thong. I fluffed my hair and applied some red lip gloss. The mood was set. The smell of a hearty meal wafted in from the kitchen and the flickering candle light would guide Jacob into my waiting arms.

I lay down on his bed while I waited for him. Luckily, I didn't have to wait long. Ten minutes later, Jacob came home.

"Bells?" He called out with surprise in his voice. His heavy footsteps made their way down the hall. "What's with all the candles?" He asked as he approached the bedroom. He walked in, took one look at me and said, "Holy shit!"

**A/N: Well, what did you think? Why don't you press that little button at the end of the chapter and let me know. ;) Anyway, I'd like to let you all know that Coming Full Circle was nominated for best AU story at The Faithful Shippers Awards. I don't know who nominated me, but I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. I don't know if I made it to the next round or not, but check out this website: **

**http****(colon)(backslash,backslash)thefaithfulshipperawards(dot)webs(dot)com(backslash)vote(dot)htm**

**Also, How To Seduce a Werewolf, by the talented leelator was also nominated for Best Fluff. Voting for the 3****rd**** round starts on May 2****nd**** and closes on May 12****th****. So, please keep this in mind and vote for us should we make it to the next round. If you haven't read leelator's story, please check out my favorites list for hers, and other great J/B stories.**

...


	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do Not!**

**A/N: Don't worry. I'll do all my groveling in the author's note at the end of the chapter. But first, I want to say thank you to EVERYONE who read and reviewed the last chapter. I have the best reviewers and I love hearing from you, so please keep it up. And, to those of you who review anonymously, you may want to think of registering so that I can send you your own personal reply and answer your questions. ****But, until then, I need to thank those of you I couldn't thank personally: Loveslove, Nan, Holly, Mrs. Jacob Black 143, Anonymous Aussie, Penny, Toshiro Shizue, Kathy, Madeline Carlson, Blushing_Bride 89, Way too old for this, Andi, Korical, Martee, taylor, Martha Robles, TaylorD, miss Marley, say-an, and Paola!**

**CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE **

_**Previously on CFC: **_

_**Hours later, I pulled up onto Jacob's gravel driveway and let myself into the empty house. I'd spent the last few hours getting primped and waxed while Alice bought me the sexiest lingerie she could find. I also swung by the market for some groceries, knowing that the way to my man's heart was also through his stomach. I had an overwhelming sense of confidence that I hadn't had in weeks.**_

_**I got to work in the kitchen first, preparing a large roast. I knew that Jacob would be especially hungry after what I had planned for him. After I got the food in the oven, I made my way into his bedroom to set up. Rosalie had helped me pick out some satin sheets and some freesia scented candles, which I placed throughout the room. I took my little pink bag into the bathroom and pulled out a red lacy baby-doll with matching thong. I fluffed my hair and applied some red lip gloss. The mood was set. The smell of a hearty meal wafted in from the kitchen and the flickering candle light would guide Jacob into my waiting arms.**_

_**I lay down on his bed while I waited for him. Luckily, I didn't have to wait long. Ten minutes later, Jacob came home.**_

_**"Bells?" He called out with surprise in his voice. His heavy footsteps made their way down the hall. "What's with all the candles?" He asked as he approached the bedroom. He walked in, took one look at me and said, "Holy shit!"**_

I told myself over and over again to stick with the plan. And the plan was to get Jacob to talk. I was fed up with his secrets and I was sick and tired of feeling like I was alone in our relationship. I missed Jacob, every day. I wanted him back. I wanted us back. Alice and Rosalie convinced me that the best way to get what I wanted was to seduce it out of Jacob. I didn't necessarily agree. But, I knew it would help me get in the door, so to speak. I hoped that Jacob would be so distracted by the candles and the lack of clothing that he would be putty in my hands. And then I'd have him where I wanted him. I'd get my answers with the added bonus of torturing him a bit.

When I saw the look on Jacob's face, my resolve almost faltered. He just looked so damned beautiful. He had come straight home right after work, and was already in a state of undress by the time he got to his room. Knowing him, his boots and socks were probably strewn about the front door because his greasy, dirty coveralls were hanging over his arm and his black tee shirt had been removed and was tossed over his shoulder. Clearly, he had been in a hurry and it thrilled me to know that I was the reason for it. He had rushed home to clean up so that he could meet me at my house. Hell, even his belt was undone and his jeans were hanging precariously low on his hips. I could practically smell the sweat and musk coming off of him which was pleasantly mixed with his natural, piney scent and made him that much more manly. His naked torso glistened in the candlelight. I took a huge breath, painfully aware of the fact that my chest heaved with the effort. I couldn't help myself. Jacob was beautiful, and he was mine. And it was about time he was reminded of that fact.

Fair was fair though, because while I was busy ogling Jacob, his gaze raked over my scantily clad body. His eyes were about to bug out of his head and his jaw hang open so far that I thought it would hit the floor. I was getting the exact reaction Rosalie and Alice told me I would get. He looked so vulnerable that I almost backpedaled, thinking I would take it easy on him. But, I took a calming breath and forced myself to stick with the plan.

"You're drooling, Jake."

His mouth snapped shut at my teasing tone. I could see his erection straining against his jeans and saw the discomfort on his face. I watched him with equal parts confidence and insecurity. He looked at me as though I was the sexiest, most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. And, though he'd told me that he'd never stopped loving me, his reassurances did little to erase the weeks of heartache caused by his inability to open up to me.

I was determined to see my plan through to its conclusion. Rosalie and Alice had helped me gain the courage needed to put myself out there for Jacob, which was hard for me to do. Weeks of rejection didn't necessarily make me want to go out on a limb, unsure of how he'd respond. But, I had a fire inside me that if not quenched, would burn out of control. Jacob remained frozen, too stunned to move or speak. I bent my finger and beckoned him to me using the sexiest, breathiest voice I could muster. "Come here, Jake."

He moved as if someone had just pressed the "on" button. In two long strides he was standing beside the bed, hovering over me. His eyes were dark with lust and his breaths came in rapid succession. He dropped his shirt and coveralls haphazardly to the floor. On one hand he looked timid and shy, like he didn't know what to do with his hands. But that did nothing to disguise the ravenous hunger I saw in his eyes. That hunger spoke to me and sent tingles throughout my body and an ache between my legs. And, that's when I sprang into action.

With a speed and agility I didn't know I possessed, I jumped off the bed, grabbing his shirt from the floor and forced him to take a step back. The lustful gaze quickly turned to one of confusion as I closed the distance between us with an angry glare on my face. I poked him hard in the chest, knowing full well that it was laughable to think that I could be intimidating to this giant of a man. But then I saw real fear in his eyes and realized I wasn't so laughable after all. Maybe he really did fear losing me. I had so much pent up anger that I couldn't help but unload on him.

"You really thought it would be that easy, didn't you?" I quickly donned his over-sized shirt. Somehow, I didn't think I would be as fierce and frightening if we had this fight while I was only wearing skimpy lingerie. His shirt fell to my knees like a formless dress. I was surprised to find Jacob's expression shift from one of fear and confusion back to sheer lust. That was not the reaction I was expecting when I put on _more_ clothes. When he didn't speak, I pressed on, taking another step forward. I placed my hands on my hips, trying my best to look as menacing as possible, which was hard to do considering I couldn't take my eyes off of his sculpted chest, which glistened with a light sheen of sweat.

"You did, didn't you?" Jacob remained mute at my questioning, which only served to infuriate me further. "You thought that after two months, TWO MONTHS, of constant evasion and having your friends babysit me that you'd just jump back into my bed without a word of explanation?"

My voice was loud and shrill. _I_ couldn't even stand the sound of it. I hadn't planned on being so angry. I mean, Alice and Rosalie convinced me that I should play hard to get. I wanted to do that. I was going to do that, no matter how gorgeous Jacob looked. No, I was going to play hard to get until I got some answers about the last two months. But, when he approached the bed, looking sexy and clearly wanting me, I just exploded. How dare he think he could just have me when I'd wanted him just as desperately and had been denied at every turn?

I was so consumed by my explosive anger that I hadn't paid much attention to Jacob's reaction. I focused in on him and noticed that he was smiling and obviously trying to keep from laughing.

"What the hell is so damn funny?" I raged.

This time he really did chuckle. "Bells, you asked if I thought it was going to be easy jumping back into your bed. But, honey, this is _my_ bed."

"I…but…what…" I stammered. Jacob laughed harder and closed the distance between us. He reached for me, but I took a step back, unwilling to submit to the warmth of his embrace.

"Hey," I cried out. I pushed him away, ignoring how tight and strong his chest felt under my hands. "I hate it when you do that! Don't get all handsy with me, Jake. You don't get to touch me. Not unless _I_ say so. And, stop trying to distract me with how great you look and how good you smell. We need to talk. You can't just solve everything by playing around and assuming it's all going to turn out okay. You owe me an explanation. I need to know why you've been such a…a…an asshole since Christmas!"

"Wow, Bells. You must be pissed. You never swear."

"Jake!" I yelled angrily. I was trying desperately not to stomp my foot because I knew he never took me seriously when I did that. He'd end up laughing and I didn't think he deserved to laugh after what he'd put me through. I was done with suffering in silence. I was going to make him spill his guts. I eyed him sternly. "Be serious! We need to talk."

He took one look at me and knew I meant business. He brought his hands up, palms out in a placating gesture. "I know that, honey. I do. I want to tell you everything. I want to make it all up to you. But," he paused and glanced at the floor sheepishly. "It's just really hard to talk about anything with you looking like that."

I looked down at the frumpy shirt, which hid the sexy lingerie. I thought I looked rather boyish. There was no feminine curve in sight. I thought he was messing with me, stalling for time to think of an excuse for his behavior. "What are you talking about? I'm all covered up."

"Yeah," he replied with a sexy smirk. "And do you even realize how sexy you look in my shirts? I know you're angry with me, which you have every right to be. But, honestly, I don't know whether I should be scared of you or turned on right now." As he spoke, his hands tried to make their way to my hips, but I refused to be put under his spell. I wasn't going to back down that easily. I pushed him away again, this time more firmly.

"You know what, Jake? Forget it. If you're not going to take this seriously then I'm just going to go home." I stomped towards his bedroom door only to stop dead in my tracks at the sound of his voice.

"Wait, Bells," he pleaded with me. "Please don't go. I'm sorry. I just don't know how to act right now. I love you. And, I'll tell you everything. I promise. Just, please stay." I looked up into his eyes and found that all traces of humor were gone. He looked sad and apologetic.

I wanted to stay more than anything. There was nowhere else I wanted to be. But, what I really needed was for Jacob to show me that he wanted me there with him. When I heard the sincerity in his voice I realized that I had gotten my wish. My anger melted away. I walked over to the bed and sat down, patting the space next to me. Jacob's head hung down and he asked, "Where do you want me to start?"

"Well, how about last night. I don't remember much." I was still uncomfortable with the fact that I had almost no recollection of the events of the previous night. I vowed once again never to drink to such excess. I was lucky last night because I was with Jake. But, being the Police Chief's daughter, I knew that a lot of girls in similar situations didn't end up as lucky. I saw a fleeting blush gently stain Jacob's cheeks, which made me worry that I behaved a lot worse than I had originally thought. Jacob wouldn't have let me dance around topless, would he?

He trudged over taking his seat next to me. But, as soon as he sat down, he slipped against the satin sheets and landed with an "oomph" as he hit the floor. For someone who was typically so graceful and sure of himself, it was endearing, not to mention hysterical, to see Jacob fall on his ass. The surprised look on his face sent me into a fit of giggles.

"It's not funny," he groused adorably. My giggles grew into full fledged laughter. Jacob's frown slowly turned into a grin and soon he was laughing along with me. I nearly burst into tears, I was laughing so hard. I sank down onto the floor next to him and leaned against the bed. I could tell he wanted to pull me close. But, he seemed wary of initiating any contact after my last reaction to his advances. Had he touched me at that point, despite all my anger and confusion, I would have come undone and melted into him. No, I needed to be strong and that meant no touching from him.

We sat on the floor in silence for a while, both of us looking at the wall. I suppose I should have felt uncomfortable, but instead, it felt nice. It felt wonderfully familiar. I was with Jacob, and even if we hadn't worked through everything yet, I knew that was where I was supposed to be.

I turned my head to the side and admired Jacob's profile. He was chewing on his lower lip nervously while his brow was furrowed in concentration. It looked like he was having a hard time figuring out what to say. I sighed, "Alright Jake. How bad was I last night?"

"Last night?" he asked, thoroughly confused. I rolled my eyes, annoyed. "Yes, last night. In the library you said that you were sorry and you looked really guilty. Since I believe you when you say it had nothing to do with Shawna, I want to know what could have possibly happened to make you look like that. I mean, how badly did I embarrass myself?"

He frowned. "What? No, Bells, it was nothing like that. You didn't _do_ anything. By the time I got to the party, you were already a happy camper. Liz told me that you'd had quite a bit to drink. You were really happy to see me, and trust me on this, I was so happy to see you too. I've missed you so much. We started dancing and I just couldn't help myself. You looked so beautiful, so hot. The way you moved, the way you smelled was just driving me crazy. I honestly wanted to get you alone so we could talk, but you just wanted to keep drinking. Luckily, I offered to walk Liz home, so you agreed to leave the party." I noticed that his cheeks flushed slightly at the mention of Liz's name. "Uh," he began tentatively. "Did you know she asked me to pose nude for her art class? I think she kind of has a crush on me."

He looked down at his hands in his lap, clearly afraid of my reaction. I couldn't hold back my grin. This was so different from Shawna. The situations didn't even compare. I knew Liz. In the short time I'd gotten to know her, I'd learned to trust her. I appreciated her blunt honesty. And, Jacob looked so adorable acknowledging that my roommate found him attractive. I couldn't resist having a bit more fun at his expense. "Oh, well, yeah, she did mention that she asked you. And, just so you know, she did have a crush on you."

He chuckled. "Yeah, I thought so. Wait…what do you mean she 'did?'"

"Hmm?" I asked coyly.

"You said that she _did_ have a crush on me. What, she doesn't anymore?"

"Well, she met Edward today." I left the statement hanging, as though it explained everything.

"And?" he asked, clearly annoyed that he was dumped so quickly.

"I don't know what to say Jake. I guess she prefers vampires over werewolves. Some women do. I can't explain it." Jacob looked thoroughly offended.

"Well," I continued, though I was finding it hard not to laugh. "Actually, that's not altogether true." Jacob sighed in relief. "I'm pretty sure her fantasies now include both you _and_ Edward getting all hot and sweaty with her. She asked him to pose nude for her class too. So, there you go. She doesn't prefer vampires per se. She wants you both."

"Damn right," he said triumphantly. Then his eyes widened and his face took on a mask of horror. "Wait…ew! Gross!" I couldn't hold back my laughter any longer. I burst into another fit of giggles while Jacob stared at me tight-lipped and looking annoyed.

"You're messing with me, aren't you?"

"A little bit."

"I deserve it." He smiled knowingly.

"Yep, you sure do. Now, are you going to tell me why you looked so guilty? What could have possibly happened while walking Liz home?"

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Well, as soon as we dropped Liz off at her friend's room, you couldn't keep your hands off of me. And trust me when I say that I loved every second of it. You even pushed me up against a wall."

"I did?"

"Oh yeah. And next to that scene in the library today, it was one of the sexiest things you've ever done." I blushed and nodded for Jacob to continue. "Anyway, I ran us to your room and the second I closed the door, we were all over each other. Clothes were flying. I knew we needed to talk first, but it was like you had me under this spell. I would've done anything for you. And, I wanted you so bad. I got you on the bed and you wanted me just as much. I left you for a second to get a condom out of my wallet, and by the time I got back to bed, you had passed out cold."

"That's it? You mean I didn't dance on tables or puke on anyone's shoes?"

He smiled. "I think you've watched too many college movies, Bells. No, you didn't do anything like that." He smile grew sheepish. "But, you did kind of grope me in front of Liz's friends."

"Oh, well, that's a little embarrassing. But, in my defense, you are gorgeous. So, it's not like they could blame me for it." I chuckled. "Thank God. I thought it was bad."

Jake turned towards me, his jaw clenched. "But, _I_ was bad. Bells, you were drunk. I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that. I feel like such a jerk."

"That's why you looked so guilty? God, Jake. I wish you would have just told me. I mean, I saw you there with Shawna who was all over you. And, the moment you see me, you look like you've been caught with your hand in the cookie jar. I didn't know what to think."

"Bells, in my defense, you didn't really give me much of a chance to say anything. You were kind of…crazed. You were sexy as hell, but definitely crazed."

"Alright," I conceded shyly. "I may have overreacted. But Jake, I love you. You've been acting so weird, so cold. Then all of a sudden you're hot and then you leave me alone in bed. It's been really confusing. So, okay, I was drunk. But, I honestly don't think you could ever take advantage of me. Take me for granted, yes," I added pointedly. "Of course, it wouldn't have been the best idea to follow through on things last night. But, had I woken up naked and sweaty in your arms, I would have been confused, but I wouldn't have regretted it."

For the first time during our entire conversation, Jacob looked relieved. "Okay," I charged ahead. "So, we covered last night. One mystery is solved. But, that still doesn't explain why you've been acting so messed up towards me since Christmas. I mean, after the whole scare, I thought we were on the same page. And, then it's like you pulled the rug out from under me. You were so distant. And, I felt so alone. I need to know that when push comes to shove, you'll be by my side. That's the Jacob I know and love. I feel like I don't even know who this Jacob is."

"I'm sorry, Bells. I'm so sorry."

I leaned into him, resting my head against his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist, relishing the feel of his strong body pressed so close to mine. He stiffened a bit at my touch, but quickly relaxed. I hugged him tightly and looked into his eyes and said, "Stop being crazy, Jake. Start explaining."

He smiled at my forceful tone. "I guess I just got caught up in how you deserved so much more, and that I wasn't good enough for you…"

"Oh come on!" I pulled away from his embrace and unleashed my angriest glare on him. "You've got to be kidding me, right? This was all about you not feeling good enough? Jake, that's not like you. You sound just like I did when I was with Edward. All I could focus on was how gorgeous he was and that he couldn't possibly want poor, pitiful me. And I just felt like I wasn't worthy, like I was ugly or…"

"Whoa, whoa, hold on a minute, Bells." Jacob looked at me incredulously with a twinkle in his eye. "Hey, no, I mean…I _know_ I'm a good-looking guy; great looking actually."

I rolled my eyes at his arrogant display. "You're such an ass."

"What?" he asked defensively. "It's the truth. Just ask Shawna."

My eyes narrowed angrily and I pursed my lips. I didn't find his flippant remark the least bit funny. And I refused to dignify his quip with a response. Jake started to fidget under my angry stare. He looked thoroughly uncomfortable. "What? Too soon?" he asked innocently.

"Jake, stop with the jokes and get serious. I'm not in the mood. Tell me. Why did you think you weren't good enough? When did this all start?"

He sighed heavily. "Well, when I talked to Charlie…"

"What do you mean you talked to Charlie? What does he have to do with this? I feel like you're starting in the middle. Things started going wrong after Christmas. What the hell happened?"

"Bells, I got scared, okay? We thought you were pregnant, and I got scared. I'm not proud of it." He hugged his legs to his chest and rested his head on his knees.

"Jake, we were both scared. But, we talked about it. I mean, I knew it wasn't something we would just get over, but we could've worked through it together. You shut me out. How could you do that to me?"

"I didn't mean to shut you out, Bella. I really believed that we would have made things work if that test would have come out differently. That's not to say that I wasn't afraid to touch you right after, because I was. I was terrified that if I even looked at you too hard you'd get pregnant."

"Yeah," I nodded sadly. "That's kind of the impression I got."

"Well," he continued. "You should know that it didn't take long for me to get over it. I love you so much. And, well, I'm a guy. I'm a hormonal, sex-crazed teenager. After a couple of weeks I figured we'd dodged a bullet, right? You were still on the pill, and I could just start using condoms again. No big deal. Well, as soon as I got that idea, I talked to Charlie."

"You mentioned that before. But, when did you talk to Charlie and why would it have any bearing on how you've been acting?"

"It was back in January, after he found out about…" I nodded in understanding and urged him to continue. "Anyway, I came over but you were out at the store or something. And, Charlie kind of cornered me. He was pissed about finding the pregnancy test, which I totally get. But, he just wanted to make sure that I didn't let it happen for real next time."

"Well," I said, my brow furrowing in confusion. "I'm not too pleased that he talked to you behind my back. But, it's not like it was an unreasonable request. I mean, it's not like it's your sole responsibility. We're both in charge of making sure it doesn't happen."

"You're right. I know that. But, he got me thinking about what our lives would've been like with a baby. And I realized he was right. If I got you pregnant, you'd be stuck. You'd feel trapped. Then you never would get out of Forks. Charlie knows that we wouldn't be able to keep our hands off of each other for long. He thinks that it's only a matter of time before a _real_ mistake happens. You deserve the world and because of a mistake, you'd have to give up on all your dreams. And, then one day, you'd realize you resented me and you'd leave. You'd break my heart and it would be all my fault."

I wanted to scream at him, shake him and tell him how ridiculous he sounded. But, I just couldn't move. "So, I tried to push you away with one hand and hold on tight with the other. I knew you deserved better, but I just couldn't let you go. I figured if I rejected you enough that you'd just leave me and take my choice in the matter away."

He wouldn't meet my yes, he looked so ashamed. "So, Embry and Quil, they were there to make sure I didn't get out of hand with you?"

"What? God, no Bells. They were there to make sure that I didn't get out of hand with you. I told you. There hasn't been a time when I haven't wanted you. You're smart, beautiful, sexy and incredible. You're my fantasy girl, only…_real_. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just wanted you to see that you could do better."

I let that sink in and then yelled, "You're an idiot!"

"I know, I know."

"No, I don't think you do, Jacob. How dare you tell me what I do or do not deserve. You were acting no better than…"

"…Edward," he finished miserably. "In a way I was trying to take your choices from you, because I was so scared. A stupid part of me thought I could push you away and you'd find someone else. But, I knew I was fooling myself if I thought for one second that I could live without you, knowing that someone else got to be with you and touch you when I couldn't."

He had a pained look on his face. "Bells, I'm in love with you. And, I know you feel the same way about me. I know I handled it badly, but I can't help but think that I'll never be enough for you."

It was in that very moment that I realized that the guy I was in love with was a complete moron. He had me doubting myself for months, thinking he didn't love me anymore, or that he didn't want as much of a commitment. Which, in and of itself was thoroughly confusing considering I was his freaking imprint. I thought he couldn't be without me. But, to find out that the distance between us was built on insecurities made me want to slap him and reassure him all at the same time. I understood where he was coming from. After all, I had been in his position before. I knew how desperate he must have felt. But, I also knew that we would never get anywhere or be able to call ourselves a successful couple if we didn't move past this.

Jacob sat next to me, his legs sprawled open wide on the floor while his head lay back against the bed. His eyes were closed. He looked dejected and utterly defeated. I crawled onto his lap, my legs straddling either side of his hips. He sat up abruptly and looked at me in surprise. He was startled by my advances. I cradled his face lovingly.

"Jacob, how could you ever think you weren't good enough for me? We're perfect for each other. We belong together. I love you so much and being without you these past few weeks has been killing me."

I leaned in and pressed my lips to his and moaned at the heated softness. His lips were so full and supple that I wanted to taste them all day. My kisses were chaste, in the beginning. I managed to entice him enough to return my kisses with equal fervor. Our passion ignited and before I knew it, Jacob had removed the shirt I was wearing and his hands began to roam freely over my body. Weeks of going without much physical contact left my whole body sensitive to his touch. His warm hands glided effortlessly over my nightgown, over my breasts, and finally onto my neck and up into my hair.

Just like I knew it would, his touch inflamed my senses. I couldn't even pull away for air. My body craved his touch too much. He responded in kind. His hands tangled in my hair and I pulled against his shoulders, pushing myself even closer to the hard lines of his body. My core brushed against his raging desire and he groaned in pleasure. His animal hunger spoke to my body. It was his to command. He expressed his need, and the honey from my core responded.

We kissed like we hadn't seen each other in years, sometimes frenzied and sometimes slow and sensuous. Finally, when our lungs were burning from lack of oxygen, I broke the kiss leaving us both panting. I kept my eyes closed, relishing the feeling of my swollen lips and Jacob's taste on my tongue. His hands loosened their hold on my hair and slowly moved down my arms. I feared that if I opened my eyes the spell would be broken. A low, angry growl from Jacob brought me back to reality.

"Damn it," he muttered. His body stiffened beneath me as he tried to get up, gently pushing me aside. In one second, it was as if he had built up a wall between us again. Everything we had talked about went by the wayside. I didn't know what had happened to make him angry, but I knew that I'd be damned if I was going to let him go that easily I clung to him, desperately to the point where he would have to physically harm me to remove me from his body. When he realized that, he sagged back against the bed.

"Jacob, what is it? What just happened?"

He groaned miserably. "Look at yourself, Bella. Look at what I just did to you and tell me that I'm good enough."

I looked down at my new, expensive nightgown and my arms and saw that they were all grease stained and dirty. I shrugged, wondering what the big deal was. Sure, the lingerie was ruined, but Alice bought it for the sole purpose of having Jacob tear it off. Though it was expensive, it was flimsy and not made to last long anyway. I tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear and noticed that its texture was now oily to the touch. Jacob had had his hand in my hair mere moments before. I smiled thinking what a mess I must look, albeit, an excited mess.

Jacob's head was turned to the side, his fists and jaw clenched angrily. He refused to meet my eyes. "Wait a minute," I huffed in disbelief, finally putting the pieces of the puzzle together. "You're getting this upset over a smudge? What's the matter with you? It's just dirt Jacob." I licked my thumb then ran it over the greasy line on my arm, leaving a larger smudge on my skin. "It's nothing, Jake. It comes off."

He turned his head towards me, his eyes filled with a deep sadness. "Bells, that stain is an everyday thing for me. I'm a mechanic. Even with a degree, I'm just going to be a glorified grease monkey. That's all I'll ever be. But, you're smart and creative. You want to be a writer. I'm just going to live and die in the same town where I was born. I'm not going anywhere. Just look at these," he held up his hands so that I could see his finger nails. "Do you know how many times a day I have to wash these before I see you? And, no matter what, I still can't get all the dirt out from under my nails. It's either from the grease or the dirt from the forest when I'm phased. I can't get away from it. I'm destined to roll in the mud for the rest of my life. And, now it's covering you too. It's like I'm dragging you down with me. You deserve better than this. You deserve better than to have to walk around with my grease stains all over your clothes. I reached for the stars when I found you, Bells. And you settled for me. It's only a matter of time before you figure that out. I tried to push you away to prepare myself for the inevitable."

Jacob looked miserable. But, I couldn't help but laugh uncontrollably. He looked even more confused. "Jake, this is worse than I thought."

"I know, I know," he moaned sadly.

"No, I don't think you do. I can't believe _this_," I pointed to the stains on my clothes, "is the reason you've stayed away. Jake, a little grease and grime is par for the course when your boyfriend is a mechanic by day and a superhero by night. I love the fact that you're not afraid to get your hands dirty. It's part of what makes you human." I thought about how insecure I always felt around Edward and the rest of the Cullens. They're very perfection is what kept them separate, apart from the rest of us. Anyone would look plain and unkempt around them. But, I never had to feel that way with Jake. And I thought it was crazy that he would detest one of the things I loved most about him.

I lifted his chin, forcing him to meet my eyes and smiled warmly. "Jake, let me put things in perspective for you. A few months ago, we were fooling around in the garage. I had to leave for work at Newton's right after. Well, thanks to you, I spent the rest of the day with a giant sized hand print on my ass. I was walking around the store, helping customers, completely oblivious to the fact that it was painfully obvious that I had just been felt up. Mike Newton had to point it out to me. I was so embarrassed…at first. But, the more I thought about it, the more it kind of…turned me on."

"Really?"

I sighed. He still wasn't getting it. I looked down at his hands. They were large and strong, capable of ripping a vampire to shreds. Yet, they were also gentle and dexterous. His hands could create. The hands that brought destruction were the same hands that whittled the tiny, delicate charms for my bracelet.

I took his hands in mine and placed his palms on my cheeks. He watched me with passive curiosity. I then dragged his hands down my face, my neck, and then stopped at my chest, just above the swell of my breasts. I could feel the traces of grit and grime transferred from his body to mine. It was a part of him, and so was I. It stood to reason that the grease was, therefore, a part of me too. I just didn't know how else to explain that to him.

I inhaled deeply. I could almost taste the metallic residue of the grease on my tongue and my heart warmed. As usual, I was reminded of the makeshift garage that had become a sanctuary for me at the lowest point of my life. I would remember the countless hours watching Jacob getting filthy while putting our bikes together. That was when I started to fall in love with Jacob, even if I didn't know it at the time. I fell in love with him amidst tools, bikes, dirt and grime. So, of course I would embrace that part of him, stains and all.

And that's when I remembered a poem I'd read back when I was in high school in Phoenix. It was another lifetime ago, yet the poem had resonated deeply in my mind. I realized that if I couldn't convey how I felt enough to shake some sense into him, then maybe someone else's pertinent, and more poetic words would do the trick.

"Jake, there's a poem I want you to hear."

"Um," Jacob began tentatively. "Do you really think now is the time to give me a poetry lesson? Or, is this payback?" He looked terrified, like I was going to give him a pop quiz about it. I eyed him sternly and replied, "You know, Jacob, you're the one who's been a total ass to me for two months. I think you owe it to me to shut up and listen to what I have to say with no complaints. What do you think?"

Jacob gulped loudly and actually had the decency to look thoroughly shamed. He dropped his eyes and mumbled, "Yeah, of course. Go ahead. I'm sorry."

I had never recited poetry, publicly, to anyone. This would be a first for me. But, I didn't have the time or the inclination to worry about that. I did, however, think that it would be better for both of us if I wasn't straddling his lap while I tried to give him some insight into the depths of my feelings for him. I stood up, pulling him up along with me and we sat down on the bed together. Jacob touched the fine satin sheets and said, "You know, these sheets are kind of ridiculous, right?" I rolled my eyes, knowing Jacob was nervous. So, I excused his verbal diarrhea and nodded in agreement. I wracked my brain to remember the poem correctly. I loved it so much that I had memorized it in the hopes that one day, I'd feel, first-hand the same kind of emotions it described. But, it had been a while since I'd thought about it. I took a deep breath and began:

If I were a cinnamon peeler  
I would ride your bed  
and leave the yellow bark dust  
on your pillow.

Your breasts and shoulders would reek  
you could never walk through markets  
without the profession of my fingers  
floating over you. The blind would  
stumble certain of whom they approached  
though you might bathe  
under rain gutters, monsoon.

Here on the upper thigh  
at this smooth pasture  
neighbor to your hair  
or the crease  
that cuts your back. This ankle.  
You will be known among strangers  
as the cinnamon peeler's wife.

I could hardly glance at you  
before marriage  
never touch you  
- your keen nosed mother, your rough brothers.  
I buried my hands  
in saffron, disguised them  
over smoking tar,  
helped the honey gatherers...

When we swam once  
I touched you in water  
and our bodies remained free,  
you could hold me and be blind of smell.  
You climbed the bank and said

this is how you touch other women

the grasscutter's wife, the lime burner's daughter.

And you searched your arms

for the missing perfume.

and knew

what good is it

to be the lime burner's daughter

left with no trace

as if not spoken to in an act of love

as if wounded without the pleasure of scar.

You touched  
your belly to my hands  
in the dry air and said  
I am the cinnamon  
peeler's wife. Smell me. *

Jake's eyes were wide with wonder. It thrilled me to my very core to feel his gaze on me. I could see it in his eyes that he understood what the poem meant. He knew that no matter what he did, I loved him and his love for me had already marked me, left an imprint on my soul. The grease, the dirt, the stains on my clothes were just physical manifestations of that imprint.

"Jake, love is like a wound. It tears you open, leaving you bare, exposed. And, when that first initial attack heals, it leaves a scar. You can't see them, but they're there. And, just like the woman in the poem, I kind of feel like what's the point in having those scars if I don't have something to show for it. How could it possibly bother me that when you touch me, you leave a mark? You already do anyway."

"I don't know, Bells. I don't know if I like the idea of comparing our love to an open flesh wound. I mean, you wouldn't say the scars on Emily's face are proof that Sam loves her, would you? Sam will live with the guilt of how he hurt her for the rest of his life."

"No, Jake. Those scars aren't proof that Sam loves Emily. They're proof that Emily loves Sam, that despite what he is, and what he's done, she loves him unconditionally. I would never say it's the same thing. I'm just trying to make you understand."

We sat in silence for a little while. Jacob seemed to be thinking about everything I'd said. "So," he began. "No matter what, you want to be with me, right? Even if we never have a lot of money, even if I can't take you anywhere, even if every item of clothing you own gets ruined? You still want to be with me?"

"Jake, let me answer that question with one of my own. Do you still want to be with me even though I've hurt you and broken your heart numerous times? We're not perfect. We both have our own scars. But, we can't give into our insecurities anymore. I want to move past this. We've already gone through too much together to dwell on these small things. We're destined to fight forever. We're both pretty stubborn. It's kind of inevitable. But, we love each other. That should be enough."

He didn't answer me for a long time. I didn't know what else I could do or say to convince him that he could trust my love for him, just as I trusted his love for me. I fiddled with the edge of my lace top, while I waited for Jacob to say or do something.

And then I felt his gaze on me. I looked up into his eyes and my very core responded to the heat I saw. I knew right then that we had come to an even deeper understanding of one another. Gone was the sadness that had been present in his eyes for the past two months. He seemed bigger, taller, and lighter; like he could stand up straighter now that a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. His dark eyes were heavy-lidded, the pupils dilated to the point where they appeared black and feral. My body hummed with anticipation.

He smirked at me, a grin of confidence that was also filled with love. He wanted me. The bulge in his jeans and the fire in his eyes proved that. There were no more doubts and no more words needed to be said.

Jacob stood up, his large body taking up the entire scope of my vision. I admired, for probably the millionth time, his strong, broad chest leading down to his chiseled stomach. His jeans hung low on the hips, highlighting the v-shaped muscle that led to his impressive manhood. His chest heaved and his eyes filled with hunger, with need. His gaze roved all over my body as I sat there, immobile and pliant.

It was like he was silently calling to me, commanding me with his body. I stood up too, drawn to the heat rippling off of his body. I reached out to touch him, to feel him under my hand. I placed my palm over his chest and felt this heart hammering in response. That one simple, almost innocent touch triggered a raging fire in our very souls.

In the next instant, Jacob closed the distance between us, slamming into me and pulling me close to him at the same time. I grunted at the impact, but the sound was swallowed by his lips on mine. His hands cupped my ass, squeezing hard. He picked me up effortlessly and I gladly wrapped my legs around his waist. He ground his arousal against my center. Our moans echoed within the small confines of his bedroom. My hands got lost in his hair as I tugged and pulled him closer, always closer so that I could devour him with my kisses.

We couldn't keep our hands off each other. Two months of denying the innate fire within us led to an out of control conflagration that threatened to consume us whole. I pulled and clawed, wild with lust that couldn't be satisfied quickly enough. His touch was just as frenzied. He grabbed, squeezed and kneaded every part of me he could reach while I was pressed so closely to his chest.

I bit and sucked his lower lip into my mouth, eliciting a sexy groan which echoed from deep within his chest. We finally broke our frantic kisses, our breathing labored due to lack of oxygen. Jacob licked and sucked at the tender skin of my collarbone, while I panted heavily, gasping for air. I threw my head back, giving him more access to my neck. I gripped his shoulder, my nails digging in and biting. This wasn't going to be gentle. This was going to be hard and rough. It was not the time for sweet caresses. This was about reclaiming each other. It was about unleashing two months worth of sexual frustration.

He continued the assault of his lips and tongue on my neck. I was confident that I'd have some slight bruising there, but I couldn't care less. It had been too long since I'd been touched that way. I welcomed any and all of his embraces. But, after a while, I grew restless in his arms. We were both wearing entirely too much clothing. I wiggled in place, pushing his hands away as I slid down his body, back to the floor. He looked confused, not understanding why I had stopped him. Instead of telling him why, I showed him.

His jeans were already undone and loose since the moment he walked into his bedroom. I grabbed him by the waistband of both his jeans and boxers and pulled. I knelt down as I pulled the fabric down his long legs until they hit the floor. He placed his firm grip on my shoulders for balance, while he stepped out of his clothes and kicked them to the side. He stood in front of me, completely naked, and he was gorgeous. I wanted to touch and explore every part of him, but the look in his eyes told me that it was not the time for that. His hunger was so intense, he nearly salivated. I slowly got back to my feet, purposefully brushing up against his erect penis in the process. He groaned at my touch and I knew I was done for. The sexy sounds he produced because of something I did made me weak in the knees. I wanted to see _him_, all of him. I wanted to ogle his naked, russet skin to my heart's content. He smiled when he saw the pout on my face and I quickly got my wish. He pulled down his boxers, his hard, erect penis sprung free. I just stood there, staring at his body. The hunger in his eyes sent a jolt of electricity straight to the apex of my thighs.

In that moment, we ceased to be Jake and Bells. It's like we were lust and need personified. Our bodies were in charge. They were doing all the talking. Jacob lunged towards me, wrapping me in the protective cage of his arms, and jumped onto the bed, careful to shield me from his crushing weight. I didn't even have a chance to bounce against the mattress from his throw because he was on me, around me, all over me. His lips found mine once again and we inhaled and exhaled each other's breaths like we were one body.

We were wild. I had no other word to describe it. We struggled against one another in an attempt to join, to literally melt into the other's body. I pulled and scratched. He grasped and pushed, all in an attempt to get closer, to erase any and all distance both physical and emotional that had come between us. Jacob growled impatiently and tore my lace top, ripping it down the middle. I looked on in shock as he threw the remaining scraps to the floor unapologetically. His blatant lack of regard for my expensive lingerie should have upset me. Instead, I was aroused further by his show of animal dominance, not to mention the feel of his bare chest brushing against my newly exposed breasts. My hardened nipples rubbed against his heated skin, sending tingles straight to the tips of my toes.

He palmed my breasts in his large hands. His touch was firm and masterful. He was not gentle. He pinched and squeezed my nipples, all while his tongue danced with mine. Normally we would both be fighting for dominance, never letting the other get the upper hand. But, Jacob was in full command of my body and I gladly relinquished all control. His tongue, his body, his groans promised the reward of pleasures beyond my wildest dreams. I arched into him, undulating and twisting my body so that my already sensitive core could brush up against his hardened length. I mewled, desperate for more.

He cupped my mound through the thin material of my panties, the one and only barrier left between our otherwise naked bodies. His finger slipped underneath the delicate fabric, dipping into the wetness that coated my smooth inner folds. With a deep, lust-filled groan, he wrapped his finger all the way around the material and gave it a hard tug. Just like that, my panties fell to the floor in a ruined heap. I couldn't have cared less. His fingers circled and stroked my clit and I cried out in pleasure. His kisses were rough, almost desperate with reckless abandon. It was like he couldn't wait another moment to be inside me. His hands roamed all over my body. He ran his hands up and down my calves, then up to my thighs where he squeezed and kneaded the skin almost painfully. Everywhere his hands touched set my skin on fire. I couldn't get enough of his hands on me. But, I wanted more. I always wanted more. He seemed to read my mind, because his hand finally found purchase between the velvety smooth folds of my sex.

He groaned as he pulled away, eyeing me with grateful curiosity. I knew he'd discovered my freshly waxed, naked sex. All of a sudden, his ministrations became rougher, more urgent. His hands, teeth and tongue worked together to drive me to a frenzy. We ground against each other, our passion ignited beyond containment. Honey dripped from my aching core down my thighs. His nostrils flared and I knew he could smell my growing need. In a flash, he dove for the nightstand, knocking over his bedside lamp and the alarm clock in the process. But, that didn't even give him pause. He grabbed a condom, slipped it on and in one swift motion, drove into me, pushing me into the headboard. Luckily, he had pulled me flush to his chest when he entered me so that only my shoulders and back took the brunt of the force against the hard wood. He was operating on pure instinct alone; which even in the throes of passion told him that no matter how rough he wanted to be, he still needed to protect me.

I cried out in ecstasy, loving the feel of his body finally joined with mine. My channel stretched and expanded to accommodate him. It was a little painful, just because it had been so long. But, my body quickly recognized the familiar feel of his body. I felt filled, complete for the first time in weeks. He panted, his whole body straining while he waited for me to get used to his most welcome intrusion. When I was ready for more, I nodded and he groaned as he began to rock into me with a mixture of force and finesse that had always come naturally to him.

He slammed into me, repeatedly. Every thrust pushed me further up the bed. When I got too close to the headboard, he'd roughly pull me back down and it would start all over again. My shoulders, the back of my thighs and my ass all burned from the friction ignited by the sheets. My eyes rolled back into my head as every thrust, every push into my entrance caused his pubic bone to brush and titillate my aching bud. Our moans were swallowed by our wet, hungry mouths.

Jacob was relentless, a man possessed. But, I managed to match his intensity with my own fervor. He gripped the headboard above me, using it as leverage to thrust even harder. I felt like I was going to split in two, yet I welcomed the almost brutal force of his body. Every part of my body, my skin was alive and tingling with excitement. Our skin slapped against each other. Sweat dripped down his forehead and down onto my pillow. Jacob groaned, squeezing the headboard harder. I heard the wood creak and splinter under the force. But, he never stopped. He never once stopped kissing me, touching me, or penetrating my very body and soul.

My climax was imminent. The pressure built right from my womb and spread out throughout my belly and to my very core. I was on the very brink of an eruption so powerful that I thought my heart would burst. Jacob increased his pace and I knew he was close too. Without words, we urged each other on, mentally and physically willing the other to achieve our bliss. I heard the headboard crack after a particularly powerful thrust. Jacob held me close with one arm while his other hand left the destruction of the headboard and sought the slick, honeyed essence between my thighs. His fingers circled and pinched my swollen nub and the next thing I knew I was writhing and keening beneath him as I succumbed to an explosive orgasm that left my mind numb and my throat parched and dry. It felt as if all consciousness left me and I was reduced to that small bundle of nerves that lay hidden between my legs. I felt nothing, knew nothing but the throbbing of my pulse in and around my sex. Jacob thrust a few more times before he followed me over the edge into his own oblivion. He collapsed on top of me, careful not to crush me under his weight. He moaned against my neck, then licked the shell of my ear, and sucked the lobe into his mouth before releasing it with a nibble.

We kissed slowly and sensually, which was a far cry from the reckless love-making we had just experienced. Who was I kidding? That wasn't love-making. It was pure, unadulterated fucking. We clung to each other, both of us panting heavily, trying to recover from our sensory overload. He rolled off of me and quickly disposed of the condom before lying down and pulling me onto his chest. I enjoyed the afterglow, basking in his warmth and comfort. He kissed the top of my head and played with my hair. My scalp tingled at his touch.

As I lay in his arms, my eyes wandered around the room surveying the damage. My torn and ruined lingerie lay in a heap on the floor right next to the broken table lamp. I looked up behind me and saw that the headboard suffered more damage than I initially thought. It was cracked down the center and had a huge gauge mark where Jacob's thumb had pressed against the wood. Jacob had felt the need to break, rip or tear anything that kept us from joining as one. He used the headboard as leverage to bring himself deeper, closer to me. I blushed when I thought about how Jacob was going to explain the mess to Billy. I couldn't help but smile when I saw that though the alarm clock had also fallen to the floor, it was working just fine. I supposed if it could survive being thrown directly at Seth's head by an angry werewolf, then a little fall to the floor wouldn't hurt it.

I looked back at Jacob who watched me with lazy, satisfied eyes. I smiled and said, "That was…"

"Amazing," he finished for me.

I chuckled looking around the room again. "Actually, I was going to say it was a bit destructive, but amazing applies too."

He scratched the back of his neck with a bashful smile on his face. "Yeah, I guess I kind of got carried away."

I hugged him tighter and tossed my leg up and over his waist. "Mmm, and I loved every minute of it."

We lay there for a while until I heard the oven timer go off. Perfect timing, I thought. The roast was finally done and I noticed that while we had been busy, the room had started to smell like a strange mixture of sex and savory food, two of Jacob's favorite things. I tried to get out of bed to take the food out of the oven before it burned, but Jacob stopped me.

"You stay here," he said. "I'll get us some plates and we can eat in here." He kissed me on the lips and walked out of the room butt naked.

I lay back in bed, completely sated. I couldn't keep the huge smile from my face. The night couldn't have gone any better. Jacob and I were on the same page for the first time in months. And I hadn't felt a release like that in…well, ever. Jacob knew my body, inside and out. And, it responded to him shamelessly, wantonly.

I heard the jarring clink of pots and pans in the kitchen. All Jacob had to do was take one pan out of the oven and let it rest on the stove top. It was one step. It didn't require all the noise he was making. I knew he was making a mess, but I was still reveling in my post-coital high that I just couldn't bring myself to get out of the warm, comfortable bed to help him. At least, that was until I heard a loud bang and jolted out of bed, running toward the bedroom door. I peeped out the door and asked, "Are you alright? Do I need to rescue you out there?"

"Ha ha, very funny, Bells. Just stay put. I'll be right back."

I laughed and walked back towards the bed. Before I crawled back into the warm sheets, I caught my reflection in his closet mirror and paused. I was surprised by what I saw. I had an extreme case of sex hair. It was tangled and wild, the added grease made it stick up at weird angles. I blushed at the purely satisfied gleam in my eye. And then I saw the grease stains all over my face and body and my skin flushed crimson. Jacob had left greasy handprints all over my breasts and thighs. I turned around and chuckled when I saw two perfectly formed prints on my butt cheeks.

I felt like one of those cave paintings. I was the canvas. Jacob's handprints were the art. He had wholly claimed me, mind, body and soul. I wanted him to see what he had done to me. I couldn't look away from the mirror. For the first time in my life, I was in love with what I saw. I had been thoroughly pleasured by someone who loved me above his own life. I wanted him to see how his very possession of me had left me glowing and eager. I was about to call him into the bedroom when I heard Jacob singing.

He rarely sang, but when he did, his voice was low and sultry. He joked that he didn't like singing in front of me because he didn't want to intimidate me with how good he was. The boy could carry a tune. But, I wasn't expecting what I next heard come out of his mouth. I nearly doubled over laughing.

_In touch with the ground_

_I'm on the hunt I'm after you_

_Scent and a sound. I'm lost and I'm found_

_And I'm hungry like the wolf._

_Oh yeah, I'm horny like the wolf. _

Luckily, his butchering of Duran Duran was cut short when the phone rang. I didn't know who he was talking to, but the conversation ended pretty quickly. He came back into the bedroom and stopped dead in his tracks as he took in my naked form.

"Nice song, Jake."

Once he got over the shock of seeing me standing there naked, he smiled devilishly. "Thanks, I changed the lyrics up a bit at the end there. I thought you'd like it." I turned back to the mirror and watched him move up behind me through the reflection. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his head on my shoulder. Our eyes met in the mirror. "What are you doing, honey?"

"Mmm," I leaned back into him, twining my fingers around his. "I'm admiring your handiwork." I gently pressed my backside into his now raging hard on. He groaned and pressed me closer. I felt the moisture from his tip trickling down my buttocks, towards my thigh.

"You know, Bells, we have the house to ourselves all night."

I looked back up into the mirror and saw that he was deadly serious. "We do?" I asked tentatively.

"Yep, that was Rachel on the phone. Don't ask me how this all worked out, but Billy's staying the night with a council member's family and Rachel's staying at Paul's place."

It all seemed suspiciously convenient, but I wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth. I made a mental note to bake some special treats for Billy and Rachel to show them my appreciation.

"So," he began with a mischievous grin on his face. "What do you want to do now?"

"Oh, I can think of a few things." I stepped out of his arms and turned around to face him. The room was still bathed in candlelight which illumined his naked body so perfectly. We were so rushed, so fevered before that I didn't get a chance to fully appreciate his body, at least not with my eyes.

I examined every single inch of skin, admired every muscle, every tendon and sinew. His body was a map, and I was its cartographer. I wanted to chart every freckle, every hair, and every scar. I had seen him, just like that, several times. But that time, I pretended to be an explorer, discovering a world of wonder for the first time. My hands roamed his chest, palms flat against his skin, fingers flayed wide to cover the broad expanse. There was something so sexy about him standing there, completely naked, letting me look and touch. He exuded confidence; _sex_. My hands slid down, gliding over every ripple, hill and valley of his abdominal muscles. I looked up at him, his eyes were closed and his head was tossed back. His arms and hands hung loosely at his sides. He enjoyed being mapped.

I walked around him, my hand never breaking contact. It traced a line from his stomach, around his side to his back. I stood behind him and massaged his shoulders then grabbed and squeezed his toned ass. I hugged him from behind, and placed gentle kisses along his spine. He shivered under my gentle caresses. I left a trail of goose bumps wherever my lips traveled. My hands rested on his stomach and he wrapped his own warm hands around mine.

I needed to feel every part of him. I let one hand stray down his belly until it met with his straining arousal. My small hand gripped and encircled his manhood. It twitched and hardened further at my touch. I stroked him, twisting my wrist while my hand traveled up and down his length. Before I could make another pass, he spun around with lightening speed, picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.

"Jake," I squealed, realizing I was completely at his mercy in that position. "What are you doing?"

He slapped me hard on the ass which made me jump in surprise and said, "I'm going to give myself a clean canvas to work on. We're taking a shower, Bells."

Cleaning our bodies wasn't the top priority for that shower. As soon as we got under the warm spray, we attacked each other with renewed vigor. The only difference was that this time we had a soapy lather coating our bodies which allowed us to slip and slide against each other effortlessly. He couldn't seem to get enough of palming my breasts in his sudsy hands.

The constant stimuli soon became too much. I needed more and the burning fire in his eyes told me that he felt the same way. Jacob had displayed his dominance with me in the bedroom, but it was my turn to take the reins.

Possessed by a physical strength I didn't know I had, I pushed against Jacob's chest, pushing him against the tiled wall. He was so surprised by my sudden assertion of authority that he had to grab onto the shower curtain rod to maintain his balance. The rod strained against his weight.

"Bells," he chuckled nervously. "What the…"

He didn't have a chance to finish that sentence, because I sank to my knees taking his virile manhood into my warm mouth. I didn't waste any time with licking or teasing to torment him. I took as much of him into my mouth as I could, and gripped the base with my hand. I sucked and stroked in a steady rhythm while the nails of my free hand dug into his firm ass.

"God damn it, Bells!" I looked up at his face and saw that his head was tossed back in ecstasy. His arms were spread wide across the small expanse of the shower stall. One hand was pressed against the tiled wall while the other remained clutching the curtain rod. I gave his member a long and lingering suck, grazing it gently with my teeth. My tongue circled and dipped into the slit of the head, which already produced the salty, sweet essence of his desire. I moaned at the taste, thinking of what it would feel like to bring him to his climax with my mouth alone.

But, I didn't get the chance that night. After Jacob felt my probing tongue, he growled loudly and with a grunt and a curse, the shower curtain rod split from the wall and crashed to the bathroom floor. I jumped up in surprise, frightened by the sound echoing off of the walls in the tiny room. I tried to resume pleasuring him, but Jacob was adamant about taking control. Ignoring the destroyed shower curtain on the floor, he picked me up and pressed me forcefully against the tiled wall.

"I'm not done with you yet, Bells," he grunted.

He ground his body against me, rubbing his erection against my slick core. The water sprayed against his back, and droplets splashed into my eyes and against my eyelashes.

Jacob repeatedly pushed my back into the cold wall as he ground into me. My hands dug into his shoulders and I wrapped my legs around his hips. His grasped my ass for extra support. His tongue ran up the contours of my neck, licking and sucking like I was a fine dessert. Our lips came together and I bit and sucked his tongue into my mouth, pulling and scratching at his shoulders to try to bring his body closer to mine. He slid his arousal up and down my dripping folds, slick with the remnants of my first release. His fingers gently pried my folds open before he drove his fingers into my dripping entrance. I cried out, loving the fact that I was being filled once again by him. He moaned when I squeezed my inner muscles to clamp down around his probing hand.

Jacob withdrew his fingers lowered me to the shower floor. I groaned at the loss of his pleasuring fingers until he spun me around so that my breasts were pinned between the wall and his body. He reached around the front of my body stroking and pinching my clit. I squirmed and keened at his touch. In the next moment, he thrust into me from behind. My hands were planted on the wall on either side of my head. His hands covered mine. His hips thrust and pushed into me in a frenzied desperation. I was about to explode from the friction of his shaft brushing up against my sheath with every stroke. But, that wasn't fast enough for him. I could tell he was about to lose all control and he wanted us to come together. He increased his punishing pace and pinched and pulled on my clit sending us both into another orgasm.

I was too weak to walk. Jacob picked me up in his arms and carried me to his bed. We both had huge, very satisfied grins on our faces. That was until we realized that we'd done it again and had sex without the extra security of a condom. Jacob was ready to beat himself up over it, but I assured him that I had been taking the pill religiously even though we had been apart. And, since I hadn't taken any antibiotics that could affect the pill's potency, I felt we were relatively safe. We vowed that we would try better later and agreed that maybe we would have to put a moratorium on shower sex, just in case.

I realized that Jacob would have a lot of explaining to do to Billy in the morning, not that I think he cared one bit. He tucked me under his sheet, left the room, and came back with a plateful of the scrumptious pot roast I'd made. We sat on his bed and ate and talked just like we did on our road trip home from Jacksonville. After we finished eating, we lay back down, just enjoying the warmth of each other's body. I was riding an amazing high. I had My Jacob back and I knew that nothing would ever come between us again.

"I'm going to be bruised tomorrow," I mused. My muscles ached pleasantly and I knew my back would be sore from the punishment inflicted by the cold bathroom tiles. I kissed Jacob's chest and hugged him close.

"Really?" he asked concern all over his face.

"Don't worry. It was so worth it."

"I wasn't too rough with you, was I?"

I looked him in the eyes and asked, "What would you say if I told you it wasn't rough enough?"

He gently pushed me aside and jumped out of bed running towards his door. "Hey, where are you going?" I asked. I was completely confused at this change in behavior.

"I'm going out to the garage," he replied.

"Okay…why?"

"Because, it sounds like you're going to need your helmet for round three."

**A/N: * "The Cinnamon Peeler", by Michael Ondaatje**

**Yes, I know. I suck…totally. But, at least I got this in right under the 2 month mark. I know that's not much consolation, but trust me, this chapter kicked my ass. I've worked long and hard on it, and remember, I don't get paid for this. So, I hope you all enjoyed it, despite the long wait. **

**I've decided to update my profile page with status updates. I refuse to post a chapter that turns out to be an Author's Note. I know how much that sucks. But, unless you send me a review or PM, I had no other way of telling you that I was still working on the chapter or give you an ETA of when I would be posting. So, if it's been a while since I've posted, make sure you check my profile page for more info.**

**I want to thank my beta/best friend Christine for all her help. And, I want to give a special shout out to Crazily-Addicted for ALL of her support and encouragement. Thanks for letting me bounce all my ideas off of you. You should all check out my "Favorite Stories" page for her stories. If you love a hot, grown up Jake, then you'll love Unforgettable.**

**And, since I'm giving people a shout out, you should also check out leelator's How to Seduce a Werewolf. Speaking of whom, leelator has nominated CFC for an Underdog Award for Best Foot Popping Kiss! I'm really excited about it. So, please check out this link: **

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**If you like the story please vote for it, and nominate some of your favorite J/B stories. God knows us Wolf Girls could use the love!**


	36. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns ALL things Twilight. I do not.**

**A/N: As usual, I'd like to thank each and every one of you who reviewed the last chapter. I wouldn't have kept writing this story without all of your kind words and support. So thank you! Of course, I also want to thank those of you who submit reviews anonymously like: mzmanda, mrs. Jacob black 143, Taylor D, penny, AnonymousAussie, Amanda B., Paola, Amanda, littlefurrycannibals, nicky4j, Kandykane, BMarie, Anonymous, Anony, M.M.C., TMPR, JRP, and Flash. I loved reading your reviews. Thank you so much.**

_Previously on CFC…Jacob FINALLY tells Bella why he's been avoiding her ever since they had the pregnancy scare. Even though she wasn't pregnant, it made him think that life as a mechanic wouldn't be enough for Bella and that she would grow to resent him. Bella reassures Jacob that he's been an idiot and that she loves him because he's a hard worker, not to mention a protector of his people. And then they "made up."_

**CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX **

Waking up next to Jacob had never felt more right. I was warm, tucked against his chest, exactly where I belonged. His strong arms were wrapped snugly around me. Our legs were tangled in the sheets. I opened my eyes, tilting my head up only to find Jacob's smiling face shining down on me.

"Mmm," I stretched and yawned. "How long have you been awake?"

His hand traced the ridge of my spine, leaving goose bumps in its wake. "Just a few minutes," he replied lazily. "I don't know how the hell I even woke up. It's not like we got much sleep last night."

My face flushed immediately when I thought about all the _activities_ that had kept us from getting a restful sleep. Judging by the position of the sun shining through the window, it was still early morning. But, Jacob and I hadn't gone to sleep until around two in the morning. And considering the wild, drunken night I had had just the night before, well, it was safe to say that I was thoroughly, but happily exhausted.

Jacob hadn't been lying about "Round Three." We couldn't seem to get enough of each other. Every time it seemed like we had had our fill, I'd feel his arousal twitch and we'd start all over again.

As I stretched I took stock of my body and grimaced when I felt the soreness in my muscles, not to mention the dull ache between my legs. I felt like I had just run a marathon. Jacob's brow furrowed when he heard my groans.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

"No, I'm just a little sore."

Instead of the sweet concern I was expecting, Jacob flashed me a cocky grin, looking very proud of himself. I rolled my eyes and slapped him on the chest. "Don't be a pig, Jake."

"What?" he asked playfully. Then he hugged me closer and kissed me on the forehead, sighing happily, "I missed this."

"Me too."

I didn't realize just how much I had missed this closeness, this intimacy until that very moment. I had been so sad and distraught for weeks, knowing that I was losing my connection to Jacob. But, in one night, everything had gone back to the way it was. Well, I thought to myself, not _everything_. After all, Jacob and I discovered a fatal flaw in our relationship. We were both so concerned with protecting one another that we let that protective instinct get in the way of being honest with each other. We spent the entire night breaking down the walls that had kept us apart, literally tearing them down at the foundations. There was nothing standing between us anymore and the closeness that remained was all-encompassing.

We held each other for a few minutes. I was painfully conscious of our naked bodies pressed up against each other. Jacob's hands began to roam my backside and my nipples hardened in the cool morning air. His arousal began to grow and harden, lengthening along my stomach. I was about to ignore the soreness in my body and give into temptation when we heard the loud rumbling of a truck engine making its way along the gravel driveway. We lay there for a moment longer before our eyes widened in realization and we sat bolt upright.

"Oh shit," Jacob yelped, falling out of bed in his mad rush to dress himself. Under normal circumstances I would have doubled over laughing at his complete lack of grace. Hell, I figured he'd lost yet another fight with his nemesis the satin sheets. But, then I saw the look of sheer panic in his eyes. The roaring engine outside brought me back to reality and I clutched the sheet firmly to my naked body. "Jake, what is it? What's going on?"

He scrambled to his feet and searched the floor frantically for his discarded clothes. He picked up his jeans and literally bounced up and down while pulling the fabric up each leg. "Bells, it's my Dad! You gotta get dressed! He may not be upset to find us like this, but he sure as hell isn't going to let us live this down if he catches us. I don't know about you, but I don't want to deal with his jokes for the rest of my life."

I didn't need to be told twice. And, contrary to what Jacob thought, I wasn't exactly convinced that Billy would be okay with finding his best friend's daughter, naked in his son's bed. It was one thing to know that your teenaged son was having sex. It was another thing altogether to catch him in the act. I knew we were both young, but we obviously understood the consequences of being sexually active. And there was nothing that put a damper on one's love life more than a stern talk with the parents. Been there, done that. _So_ not going to happen again, I thought.

While Jacob crawled around on the floor looking for his t-shirt, I sprang out of bed and ran to his closet where I had stowed my overnight bag. At that point, even I could hear the creaking wood of the front porch telling us that Billy was wheeling himself towards the door. I panicked. There was no time to put on a bra, let alone any panties. I pulled on some jeans and donned a baggy sweatshirt, hoping it would conceal my lack of support underneath.

Jacob had finally put on his shirt and grabbed my hand, ushering me out of his room towards the kitchen. In my nervousness, I tripped over my bag and fell into Jacob's waiting arms. He steadied me and we rushed into the kitchen, nearly falling all over ourselves in our haste. I would've found the entire situation hilarious had I not been so nervous. I felt like a child about to be caught doing something very _naughty_. My heart beat rapidly and I stared up at Jacob's eyes and smiled. If being with him was _naughty_, then that was definitely what I wanted to be, consequences be damned.

I heard Billy's voice echo loudly outside the front door. He practically yelled, "Yeah, thanks for the ride!" I was about to sit down at the kitchen table when I realized I looked a little too comfortable for someone who was supposed to have shown up for an early morning visit. I released Jacob's hand and ran back to the bedroom.

"Bells," Jacob whispered harshly. "What are you doing?"

"I need shoes! I'm going back to get my shoes," I replied, whispering loudly over my shoulder. I was in his room, breathless, and searching my bag for my sneakers. I heard Jake mutter, "Hurry up." I slipped on one shoe then ran back into the kitchen trying to run and put on the other shoe at the same time. Jacob looked relieved once I was back in the kitchen with him. Billy's keys jingled loudly outside making me even more nervous as I finally slipped on the other shoe. Jacob sat down at the table doing a great impression of a calm, cool and collected person.

I overheard Billy mumble, "Now, if I could just find the right key for this stupid lock…"

At the sound of his voice I dove for the dining chair opposite Jake. I sat down quickly, but my momentum tipped the chair, threatening to send me plummeting to the floor. Before I had a chance to brace myself for the imminent fall, Jacob's lightning-fast reflexes came to the rescue. One hand grabbed the chair leg and the other took a hold of my thigh, steadying the chair and me as the upended legs settled safely on the ground. Jacob's hands rested on my thigh for a moment longer while my heart recovered from the near spill. God knows I couldn't handle another trip to the hospital. He shook his head and grinned.

We both took calming breaths and put on airs of purity and innocence…or at least that's the look we were going for. The front door opened the very next second with Billy wheeling himself across the threshold. The sound of a retreating car echoed down the driveway. "I forgot," Billy said, almost to himself. "We never lock this door."

I couldn't be sure, but it sounded like Billy was toying with us. Billy was a shrewd, knowing man who knew a lot about what went on, even if he didn't acknowledge it. I had a sneaking suspicion that his loud entrance, and delay with the keys was strictly for our benefit, to give us time to make ourselves presentable. That thought left me feeling both grateful and embarrassed beyond belief.

"Bella," he addressed me kindly. "You're here early. Is everything alright?"

If he was playing a game with us, then at least the kindness in his voice was not feigned. I looked into his eyes, so similar to Jacob's and saw nothing but love and understanding reflected back at me. My estrangement from Jacob had affected my time with Billy as well. I realized that I had missed his dry humor and infectious smile. It was nice to see that I was loved and missed like a member of his family. It warmed my heart.

"Hi Billy. Everything's fine. I just couldn't sleep and I needed to see Jacob." I hated lying to him. But, my guilt was assuaged by the fact that I knew Billy would torture us mercilessly and publicly if he knew the truth.

"Yeah," Jacob added, reaching for my hand across the table. "Bella and I talked everything through. We're good now." He eyed his father pointedly, silently conveying something only they would understand.

Billy laughed. "Ah, you mean you stopped being a bonehead and she had the kindness of heart to forgive you."

I smiled and said, "Yeah, something like that."

Jacob rolled his eyes at our teasing. I couldn't keep the smile off my face. "It hasn't been the same here without you, Bella. I hope you know that." It was clear that Billy wasn't just speaking to me with that statement. Jacob had the decency to hang his head a bit at the subtle reprimand. Then Billy looked at me closely. With a glint in his eye and all sentimentality gone from his voice, he asked, "Bella, what the hell have you been up to? You look like you've got a bird's nest on your head."

I felt my cheeks burn and my hands went straight up into my hair only to find that a bird's nest was too nice of a comparison to the mess on top of my head. Considering our rush to get dressed, I hadn't even bothered to look at myself in the mirror. My hair had been through a marathon of its own from the grease to the shower, to the…well, to all the… friction. It was a wonder I had any hair left. I self-consciously combed my fingers through the tangled strands and put it up in a ponytail with the hair-tie I found in my pocket.

Billy smirked and Jacob cleared his throat, "Um, hey how about I make us some breakfast?"

Billy and I stared at Jacob like he had grown a second head. For someone who was trying to play it cool, Jacob offering to cook us breakfast was not the way to go. He didn't necessarily have a good reputation in the kitchen. But, seeing as how I had once been a recipient of a batch of his pancakes, I'd say his lack of skills were more about making sure that I'd cook for him more often and less about his actual talent. But, his offer did seem to break the tension.

Billy turned his knowing eyes on Jacob. "Sounds like a plan, son. But, you better enlist Bella's help. I don't need you burning down my kitchen just because you're groveling."

I stood up from the table and said, "I'm on it." I was glad to have something to do. Jacob went to the fridge to collect ingredients, while I got pots and pans on the stove. Without communicating, we seemed to intuit that we both were in the mood for French toast and sausage.

I felt Billy's eyes on the back of my head while I worked. He sighed and said, "Okay kids. I'm going to wash up. I'll be out in a bit."

Jacob pulled out two loaves of bread and two pounds of sausage. I knew that he was expecting to eat at least half of that while Billy and I would share a fraction of the rest. I hummed happily as I mixed the eggs, knowing that our wild night was the reason Jacob needed so much nourishment. He caught me staring and smiled at me. I smiled back and resumed my work.

I was pulling some dishes out of the cupboards when I heard Billy shout, "Jake, what the hell happened in the bathroom?"

I dropped the plate and jumped when it crashed to the floor. I stared wide-eyed at Jacob who could only roll his eyes at the bellowing laughter echoing off of the bathroom walls. Oh yeah, Billy knew. And Jacob was right. He was never going to let us forget it.

Apparently it wasn't enough that Billy was well aware of the sexcapades that went on under his roof. No, the rest of the Pack seemed to think it was definitely their business.

After breakfast, Jake and I headed out to the beach to enjoy the warm spring weather before I headed back to campus for the night. We walked hand in hand down the worn path to the sand. Although I had hoped to have a little more private time with Jake before another hectic school week began, it wasn't meant to be. It looked as though half the pack was already enjoying the beach when we got there.

Sam and Emily were snuggled together on a large blanket watching the waves while Seth and Jared played football with Quil and Embry. For the briefest of moments I hoped in vain that we could pass by unnoticed and sneak off to our driftwood log for some privacy. But my hopes were dashed when I heard Quil and Embry calling out to us. We had been discovered and there was nowhere to hide. So, Jacob and I walked towards our friends, hand in hand with our heads held high.

As we got closer, the guys started hooting and hollering like wild animals; all except for Sam who was too mature for that behavior and Seth who still found it hard to look me in the eye. Sam simply rolled his eyes and I saw a wide smile spread across Emily's face. She looked relieved to see me and Jacob together. Jacob squeezed my hand reassuringly. When Quil and Embry started giving us catcalls and whistling at me, I looked at Jacob in confusion.

He leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Sorry about this. But, it's kind of obvious to them what we've been up to all night."

I looked down at my clothes wondering if it was really that obvious. Was there some sort of sign on my chest that said, "Hey everyone, I just did the deed!" I started to feel self-conscious. Jacob, as always, knew exactly what I was thinking.

"Yeah, uh, they can just tell, honey." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. I instantly blushed when I realized that their keen wolf senses could probably smell Jacob all over me from a mile away. "Plus," he threw his arm across my shoulder and tugged me into his body as we walked. "Look at how you're all over me. I mean, it's pretty obvious that we made up."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at his playful arrogance and instead grinned at him. His arm moved from my shoulder and wrapped around my back, his hand resting almost possessively, erotically at my hip. "They're happy for us, Bells. Hell, Embry's been your number one fan while I've had my head up my ass. Besides, I'm sure they're just as relieved as we are. My mind hasn't been a pleasant place to visit lately. Patrolling together has been pretty miserable."

I knew exactly what he meant. If I had been sexually frustrated, I could only imagine how a bunch of hormonal werewolves would have reacted to the fact that their Alpha wasn't getting any.

Sam and Seth went for a swim while Quil, Embry and Jared jogged up to us.

"Hey Bella," Embry smiled happily. I remembered how sorry he was that Jacob had been an ass to me on his birthday and I was overwhelmed with gratitude for his kindness. I couldn't resist giving him a hug, whispering, "Thank you." Embry returned my embrace tentatively probably nervous about how Jacob would react. But, I didn't hear any growling so I figured Jacob knew it was a harmless sign of affection.

"What the hell?" Quil whined. "Why does he get all the hugs?"

Before I could answer, Jared chimed in, "He gets the hugs because while he was telling Jacob what an asshole he's been, you've been betting on how long Jacob could hold out on Bella. Speaking of assholes, pay up chump."

Jared held out his hand expectantly. Quil shrugged saying, "I don't have in on me now, man."

"Wait a minute," I eyed Quil sternly. "You guys made bets on how long we'd be apart?"

"I didn't," Embry assured me proudly.

Jared laughed as if it were no big deal. "Yeah, we all did. Hell, Leah would've won too if we weren't playing by The Price Is Right rules. I guessed it would take seven weeks and she guessed eight and a half. I was the closest without going over. So, I win."

I stared at him in shock, amazed that my relationship had been reduced to a stupid game. But, as I looked at him, all of them really, I realized that I wasn't even mad. I just kind of shook my head at their antics.

"I'm still waiting for my money, Quil." Jared looked annoyed.

"Bro, I told you I don't have it. I'll play you for it." And with that, Quil took off running towards the water. Jared ran after him and yelled, "That wasn't the deal, jackass!" Embry and Jacob took off after them and after some wrestling and harmless punches were thrown, the four of them resumed their game with the football.

Boys will be boys didn't feel like a sufficient way to describe them. I turned and saw that Emily watched the whole exchange with an amused grin on her face. I walked over to her blanket and sat down next to her. As soon as I got situated, Emily looked over to me and said, "I'm glad you two worked everything out. Not that I didn't think you would. But, Jake's a stubborn guy and sometimes he's his own worst enemy." She paused and looked deeply into my eyes. "Anyway," she continued. "I just wanted to say congratulations. I know things were rough for a little while there. But, now, it's like you two look…I don't know, taller or something. You both seem so…free. It's nice to see."

I reached over and gave Emily a hug. "Thank you, Emily." We sat there in a comfortable silence for a while until I felt Emily's eyes on me again. Her gaze was focused on my neck.

"Bella, you've got something on your skin." She leaned in for a closer inspection. "Is that grease?" she asked with a mischievous tone in her voice.

I immediately clamped my hand down over the offending mark. Damn it, I thought. It looked as though Jacob and I hadn't been as thorough with the whole "cleansing" part of our shower the night before. I wondered if Billy had noticed too. For a split second I was mortified, completely embarrassed to be caught almost red-handed. But, then I thought back to everything I had told Jacob the night before. I had assured him that his hands on me, even the stains he left behind were a source of pride for me. With confidence I didn't even know I had, I dropped my hand and looked directly into Emily's eyes and said, "What can I say? Jacob can't keep his hands off of me."

Emily's eyes widened and her mouth fell open in shock at my brazen statement. And then she started to laugh, which in turn, sent me into my own fit of laughter.

"Oh Bella," she said between gasps of breath. "You two are perfect for each other."

I couldn't have agreed more.

Over the next few weeks, I realized I was happier than I'd ever been. Not only were Jacob and I happy together, but I found myself growing and strengthening my relationships outside of our happy couple-bubble. Something, I'd never been driven to do when I was with Edward. He was my whole universe and I had long ago realized how unhealthy that was for me.

I'd always felt like an outsider. I was always on the outside looking in, an observer of my own life rather than a participant. I felt like I didn't belong in my own world. In Phoenix, I was a wallflower, passing through corridors unrecognized and unnoticed by my fellow classmates. I didn't fit in. I didn't try to fit in. Leaving Phoenix for Forks hadn't been all that hard of a decision to make, other than leaving Renee. Phoenix was never home. That's why it had been so easy to fall in with Edward, with his world. Edward didn't belong either. He was a 109 year old vampire for crying out loud. On a strange level, our inability to fit into our own worlds made us perfect together. We didn't need to fit in if we had each other.

But, I was naïve. That's not how real life works. Instead of finding my place in the world, and living the life I was given, I was quick to reject it all for a fantasy, for something _other_. Then again, that's the thing about growing up…you grow up, you change. I was growing and changing every day, something that wouldn't have happened for me had I stayed with Edward.

For someone who never thought she fit in before, I noticed that my life was rather full. Once I stopped distancing myself from friends and family, I found that I was loved and accepted by some pretty amazing people. I had parents who loved me and whom I loved in return. So much so that I felt horrible pangs of guilt whenever I thought of the life I would have subjected them to had I become a vampire. What story would the Cullens have cooked up to explain my disappearance? What tragedy would have befallen me to explain away my death? Charlie would never have given up looking for me. It would have torn him apart. And Renee, as flaky as she is, I would have been remiss to assume that it would just be easy for her to deal with the absence of her only child, her friend, a part of her very soul. How callous could I have been?

Aside from my parents, I had friends, true friends for the first time in my life. How pathetic was that? And I didn't count acquaintances either like I did in high school, kids I talked to in class or at lunch. Along with Jake, who would always be, first and foremost my best friend, I finally had true genuine friends in the form of the pack, Leah and Jack, Angela and then Liz. None of that had seemed possible when I was with Edward. I had to lie too much to both family and friends to keep his secret, to divert attention away from his family's quirks and odd lifestyle. I didn't want to lie, so I tended to push people away and I closed myself off to friendships and a support system. I had always thought I was so different from everyone else, so how could they possibly relate? Granted, some of my problems were of the supernatural kind, but isn't that what adolescence is anyway? It's an unreal period of one's life. One might as well band together with others going through the same thing. Had I had friends, Edward's leaving me wouldn't have been so utterly devastating. But that was neither here nor there. And I couldn't dwell on "what-ifs," especially since all my choices eventually led me to Jacob.

Everything in my life seemed to be falling into place. I was bonding with my friends, reconnecting with my family, and most importantly, I was taking better care of myself. I had become more comfortable and confident in my own skin. Sure, I was still clumsy. I'd find bruises on my body with absolutely no recollection as to how they'd gotten there. But, I wasn't quite the walking disaster I had been. So, when Liz suggested that I take a ballet class with her, I jumped at the chance.

Of course, Liz's suggestion also brought up some bad memories for me. After all, Mimi's Dance Studio in Phoenix was where James tortured and beat me. I would have lost my life had it not been for Edward. The thought of even entering a dance studio, or just a room with a lot of mirrors had left me feeling uneasy ever since. But, I didn't want those bad memories to cloud my already bright future.

Aside from the fact that my very life was threatened in a dance studio, I couldn't ignore the fact that the place had also been witness to my epic failure as a dance. Let's face it. I sucked. Even as I child I knew it. Miss Mimi always put me in the back for recitals. It's not like I thought a few dance lessons would ignite my true dream of attending Julliard. Far from it. But, it would be nice to show myself that I could do it. I wanted to prove that just because I failed at it once, didn't mean I would forever fail.

Though I wasn't quite as much of a spazz as I used to be, I still wouldn't have called myself graceful by any means. And since I wasn't much of an athlete, as Mike Newton could attest to, dancing seemed like the best way to combine grace with strength. And those were two things I desperately needed. It was an opportunity to bury the old, awkward Bella once and for all. Plus, I'd have the added bonus of hanging out with Liz. I realized that the first month of knowing her, I had remained somewhat guarded and distant. Jacob's attitude towards me had made me leery of forging tight bonds with anyone else. But once we had resolved everything, I found myself opening up and really enjoying my time with her. Sure, half the time she made lewd comments about either my ex or my current boyfriend. But, the rest of the time she showed me that she was a funny and caring person.

Liz was smart, but she was also very creative by nature. I hadn't been around artists all that much and I found she had an interesting perspective on life. She was free-spirited without being flaky. In the few weeks that had passed since the infamous party, I realized that she was quickly becoming a great friend.

So, when Liz brought up the idea of taking a dance class with her, I figured it would be a great opportunity to get to know her better, while trying to better myself. We ended up taking a beginner's class twice a week. The lessons involved a lot of stretching and simple steps, but I ended every class dripping in sweat as if I had a full workout. After a couple of short weeks, I noticed my leg muscles toning and firming up, my legs looked longer and shapelier. And, I wasn't the only one who had noticed. Jacob thoroughly appreciated the firm definition I was sporting. Of course, I had no idea the toll all that exercise was taking out on my body. But, I'd find out eventually.

A few weeks into the dance lessons, I came home from a particularly strenuous class. I had worked early that morning, gone to class, and then spent the last hour on my tippy-toes doing turns and plies. My legs were practically jelly from all the exertion. Liz had to go to her drawing class so after her shower she was out the door for the night. Jacob was supposed to meet me for dinner so I rushed into the bathroom to clean off.

I finished my shower quickly and I had just stepped out of the bathroom, soaking wet and wearing nothing but a towel, when I heard a knock on my door. I froze in my tracks until I heard Jacob's warm voice out in the hallway.

"Honey, it's me. Open up."

I sighed in relief, grateful that it was Jacob and not some random co-ed stopping by for a visit. I opened the door a crack, just wide enough for Jacob to see that I wasn't dressed appropriately for the busy halls of my dorm. Jacob took one look at my state of undress and quickly squeezed through the opening, closing and locking the door behind him. I gave him a quick peck on the lips and headed towards my closet, only to be stopped by firm hands on my hips.

"And just where do you think you're going?" The tone of his voice was husky, predatory. My core tingled involuntarily in response.

"I need to get dressed," I answered breathlessly.

I craned my neck over my shoulder to see that Jacob's eyes were almost black with need. I licked my lips, my throat suddenly parched and dry as his heated gaze sent shivers up and down my spine leaving me weak in the knees. A wave of desire consumed me whole. Jacob spun me around to face him and with a quick flick of his fingers, my towel fell in a pool around my feet. If his stare was fierce before, Jacob now looked like a feral animal chomping at the bit to devour me.

I stood in front of him, my naked body completely on display. I remembered a time when I would've flinched or tried to cover myself, but not anymore. I returned Jacob's fiery gaze and received a knowing grin in return.

Jacob moved towards me and I cautiously, playfully took a step back. Just because I wanted him as badly, didn't mean I was going to give into him that quickly. Besides, I knew _My Jacob_. He loved the thrill of the hunt. Jacob smiled wider, ostensibly accepting my challenge. He took another step forward, and I took another step back. I looked back to see where I was going and saw that Jacob was masterfully leading us to my small bed.

While my attention had been diverted elsewhere, Jacob had already removed his shoes and socks and was taking off his shirt. His clothes hit the floor as he advanced one more step. I moved backwards again, this time admiring my favorite view of his broad chest and sculpted stomach. When his hands moved to his belt I nearly stumbled, my mind cloudy with anticipation.

Jacob retrieved a small square packet from his back pocket before letting his shorts fall to the floor. He advanced another step, his manhood long and hard, straining towards me.

He had systematically backed me up until the backs of my legs hit the bed. I had nowhere else to go and the heat from his naked body made me flushed and warm. Without any preamble, Jacob bent down and brought his lips to mine, his arms wrapping around me firmly. I smiled and giggled as Jacob made a great show of growling and nuzzling my neck between kisses, "claiming" his prize.

I gave a surprised yelp when his hands cupped my ass and he lifted me up in his arms. I was about to wrap my arms around his neck when he shook his head and then tossed me back down onto my bed. I bounced on impact, waiting for Jacob to climb up on the bed with me. But, he didn't. My eyes widened as he grabbed my hips and pulled me close to him, to the point where my rear was at the edge of the bed. I had lifts on the bed so that it was raised up higher off the ground to store large items underneath and out of the way. What I'd never realized until that moment was that the added height brought my core even to Jacob's throbbing arousal. In that position, Jacob wouldn't even have to bend or crouch awkwardly to drive into me. My sex dripped with slick honey at the mere thought. Jacob fumbled briefly with the condom and in one swift motion he drove into me, my core welcoming the almost violent intrusion. He grabbed my ankles and gently held my legs up against his chest as his hips thrust back and forth in a primal rhythm.

He slammed into me repeatedly while I clung to the sheets. Each thrust forced the breath right out of my lungs and I found myself panting uncontrollably in no time. His eyes traveled from my eyes to my bouncing breasts and finally to the apex of my thighs where we were joined intimately. I'd never seen him more excited and the feeling was contagious. I gave as well as I got and matched his thrusts with my own, though I remained mindful of my neighbors and tried to contain my moans behind clenched teeth. It wasn't easy. While Jacob thrust with his hips, one of his arms wrapped around my thighs pinning my legs firmly against his body. His free hand moved down and masterfully manipulated my swollen bundle of nerves. His eyes burned with determination. He was going to push me over the edge as many times as my body could handle. Chills ran down my spine at the prospect.

My body stretched and tensed simultaneously, begging for more of the pleasure he so freely offered. The constant friction on my swollen nub had my toes pointed and curled. The muscles in my calves and thighs clenched and twitched in warning as I neared my release. I tried to ignore it and focused instead on my impending climax. Sweat dripped from Jacob's forehead down onto my already slick body.

His grunts and heaving breaths told me that he was close and I knew he was trying his hardest to make sure that I fell over the edge first. My toes pointed of their own accord and that's when I screamed at the new sensation. Jacob responded like a man possessed, encouraged by the intensity of my moans.

"Oh, God!" I cried.

"Yeah, Bells," he grunted. "That's it. Come for me!"

Only, I wasn't screaming from the pleasure. Pleasure was the last thing on my mind at that point, even as Jacob's thrusts increased in speed and strength. My calf muscle had seized and a horrible cramp shot through my left leg. I shot up in bed and clutched my leg, tears in my eyes and cried out, "Jake…oh God…it hurts…it hurts!"

Jacob froze in response to my cries of pain. "Oh God, honey, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to be so rough. Oh God, where are you hurt?"

The pained look in his eyes would have made me cry, had I not had tears spilling down my face already. Then again, I was so embarrassed about getting a cramp in the middle of sex that I was fighting off tears of laughter at the same time. I could only imagine how ridiculous I must have looked, flushed and naked, and oh yeah, with Jacob still inside me, clutching my calf because the pain was unbearable. Yeah, definitely sexy. But, I had to reassure Jacob that my pain had nothing to do with him. He was on the verge of tears at the thought that he may have hurt me. It was just hard finding my voice. Finally I managed a pained, "Jake, no…I…it hurts." I pointed to my leg to emphasize the point.

"What is it baby?" His hands roamed my body, searching for the source of pain.

"CRAMP!" I finally blurted out. "My calf…it's...cramping. I can't move it."

Jacob sprang into action. He grabbed my leg and gently massaged my calf while slowly flexing my foot which released the cramped muscle. The relief was instantaneous. I collapsed back down onto the bed and wiped the tears from my eyes as I slowly caught my breath. He quickly discarded the condom and continued his massage, soothing my burning muscles. I closed my eyes and just let my body relax, enjoying Jacob's gentle touch.

It took a few minutes to slow my breathing, but I finally relaxed. Although the cramp was gone, I could feel soreness in my leg that would likely still be there for a couple of days. I felt Jacob's warm hands touching and caressing my foot, calf and thigh, lavishing my body with attention. I opened my eyes to find that he was trying hard to keep a smile off of his face. I smacked his arm and said, "It's not funny, Jake. That really hurt."

"Yeah, mmm-hmm," he nodded non-committal, avoiding eye contact. I closed my eyes again and tried to enjoy the feel of my muscle

es loosening up when I felt Jacob begin to shake. When I opened my eyes again, Jacob was trembling with silent laughter. I glared at him.

"I mean it, Jake. It's not funny!"

And that's when he exploded into a raucous fit of laughter. He fell to his knees and threw his body on the bed next to me. I scooted away from him and angrily tucked myself under the sheets while he fought to gain control over himself.

"Oh my God, Bells! Oh man…I don't think I'll ever forget this."

I glared at him again and kept my voice stern. "Jacob Black, so help me God, if you _ever_ say anything about this, or even _think_ about this I'm gonna…I'll…"

But even I knew my threats were empty. Jacob smiled disarmingly as he crawled up onto the bed, diving under the sheets with me. His massive body dwarfed the tiny bed. He wrapped his arms around me. I struggled at first, still angry at his insensitivity, but I couldn't resist his warmth for long and I melted into his embrace.

"You're not going to do anything, Bells."

"I'm not?" My brow rose at his audacity.

"No, and do you know why?"

"Hmm?"

His hands roamed down towards the apex of my thighs. My forgotten arousal suddenly sparked back to life at his touch. "You're not going to do anything because I love you and you love me."

His finger deftly circled my core. I moaned and spread my legs wider, wantonly, just begging for more. Just like he knew I would.

"And," he continued, his husky voice a mere whisper in my ear. "You have to admit, _that_ was hilarious. Because, if you don't, I'm going to stop this…" He withdrew his hand and I groaned in protest.

I met his playful gaze and sighed. "Fine," I grinned involuntarily. "I guess I can find some humor in that. It still hurt like hell though." I pouted, trying to garner as much sympathy as possible. He rolled over onto me, pressing my back into the mattress and kissed me with renewed passion. "That's my girl. Now, let me kiss it and make it better." I quickly forgot my embarrassment and gave myself over to his touch.

Oddly enough, it seemed rather easy for Jacob to keep that little anecdote a secret. I think that had a lot to do with his growing Alpha powers. Over Christmas, it had become apparent that Jake exhibited power over Paul's will, which shouldn't have been possible considering he was part of Sam's pack. Jacob's power had slowly and inadvertently asserted itself. During training sessions with the Cullens, Collin and Brady complained that they were starting to hear Jacob's voice in their heads more than Sam's. It was causing confusion during attack drills, as the boys didn't know who to obey and usually made mistakes as a result. Again, that should've been impossible since the "Pack Mind" is tied to its Alpha. Of course, they were young and not as strong-willed as the others, so they were more easily susceptible to Jacob's authority. Quil teased that Jacob should use his newfound influence to wreak havoc with Sam's waning authority. Though I'm sure it was a tempting idea, Jacob always maintained a sense of honor when acting as Alpha. He filled the roll with a grace and maturity far beyond his years. Even Sam was resigned to the fact that it was only a matter of time before the need for two Alphas exhausted itself.

To that end, Sam made a huge announcement about a week later. I was hanging out at Emily's while both packs congregated for a "family" meal. Rachel, Kim, and I had helped her cook while everyone got situated. Emily had been all smiles and though she normally had a happy disposition, it was clear that she was ecstatic about something.

Before dinner, Sam called everyone's attention. He wrapped his arm around Emily's waist, taking her petite body against his side. In front of everyone he practically screamed, "We're getting married!" Sam then took Emily in his arms and kissed her like there was no one else in the room.

The crowd erupted into congratulatory cheers. All except for me, Jacob and Leah. Sure, I was happy for Sam and Emily. And, it's not like I didn't expect them to get married. It seemed inevitable. But, I was also painfully familiar with the other side of things, with Leah's heartbreak in particular.

Jacob and I shared a concerned look across the room and together, turned our attention towards Leah. She wasn't smiling. But, to her credit, she didn't look upset either. She looked indifferent. After all, she loved Jack and she was in a healthy, loving relationship. I think she would always feel bitterness towards Sam and Emily, but she wouldn't wish them ill. For Leah, that was progress. And so the wedding planning began.

Spring was in full swing and mid-terms approached. Jacob needed less and less time with his tutor, as his grades and comprehension of the subjects greatly improved. A part of me wondered if he needed this tutor less because he really was that good, or because his tutor wasn't a busty bimbo. But, I quickly squashed that negativity and decided to cut Jacob some slack. Imprint or no, it was clear from his words and actions that he only had eyes for me and that everything he did, including doing well in school, was for us and our future.

Edward hadn't visited since the time he met Liz. I thought part of his avoidance was because of Liz's overbearing and "out there" personality. He probably just didn't want to be propositioned to pose nude again. I'm sure her persistence unnerved him more than he was willing to let on.

My work at the publishing house kept me busy. For once, I genuinely appreciated the fact that Alice could see the future, because with her help, Jacob and I were able to grow our savings steadily. By the time we graduated, we'd have a comfortable nest egg to start our life together. It made all the working and time apart worth the sacrifice.

Jacob was kept busy for all the usual reasons. Work, school and pack responsibilities took up most of his time, and not necessarily in that order. Everything was…well, normal. So normal in fact, that it was easy to forget the supernatural forces that were hell bent on ending my life. That is until I received a phone call from Alice that put everything back into perspective.

Alice called on a Saturday morning. I happened to have spent the night in my old room at Charlie's house because Liz needed our room for a little "private" time. I had been happy to oblige her, especially since she had been so cool about Jacob spending the night with me. I was curious as to who she was spending that "private" time with. Though, since she didn't offer up any details, I figured she was probably making time with the latest male model to pose for her drawing class. I chuckled as I thought, Edward would be so relieved. And, if it was the model de jour she was spending time with, she'd probably just claim she needed more time to improve her "strokes" or something else equally crass.

Jacob had been with me most of the night until he had to leave sometime around two in the morning for patrol. Though I understood how important patrolling was, I hated him having to leave my bed. It always left me feeling unsettled. So, when the phone rang waking me up, I wasn't necessarily in the best of moods. Alice's beautiful voice rang through the line, only she didn't sound as bright and cheery as she normally did.

"_Come on, Bella. I let you sleep in. Don't be so cranky with me."_

"Yeah, sorry Alice," I said, wiping the sleep from my eyes. "What time is it anyway?"

"_It's nine thirty. Anyway, I didn't call you to talk about the time silly. I called to tell you that Carlisle and Esme are back."_

That got my attention. Carlisle and Esme had left before Christmas on a pilgrimage of sorts. Carlisle's long life had enabled him to maintain strong and powerful friendships. He used to hold the Volturi amongst his friends until they made me their prime concern. As a result, Carlisle took Esme to forge bonds and alliances with his old friends and with anyone else who would stand with us against the Volturi.

I counted the weeks in my head and realized that they had been gone for nearly four months. The last I heard, they were in Ireland on their way to South America on a hot lead. "Alice, why didn't you tell me they were coming home?"

"_You've been busy, Bella. Anyway, we're getting the family together to welcome them home. Edward left Seattle about an hour ago so he'll be here momentarily. I figured, since you're family, you'd want to come over too."_

A warm feeling spread throughout my body. It was nice to be reminded that the Cullens accepted me as family. It was always strange to think I had come from a broken home only to be welcomed into the lives of so many different families. It was an embarrassment of riches.

"I'd love to see them."

"_I knew you would", _she replied knowingly. "_Esme's making lunch for you so come by soon. Oh, and bring Jacob with you. He needs to be there."_

She hung up before I had a chance to reply. It was just like her to drop a bomb like that without an explanation. The Cullens were supportive of my relationship with Jacob. But, it was odd for them to ask him to come along unless we were going to be talking shop, so to speak. Something from Alice's tone told me that my visit to the Cullens' wasn't going to be much of a social call.

I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom to get ready for the day. After I showered, I got dressed and made my way downstairs to find Charlie at the kitchen sink, cleaning up his breakfast dishes.

"You already ate?" I asked, surprised to see him taking the initiative to feed himself. I was so used to that being my job.

"Oh, sorry Bells. I've gotten so used to fending for myself again. I forgot you were even spending the night, you're so quiet. Can I make you something?"

"No thanks. I'm just going to have some cereal." I grabbed a bowl and some cereal and milk while Charlie sat down to read the paper.

"So, what are your plans today, Bells? I assume Jake's coming over?" Charlie, true to his word, really did love Jacob like a son. It took him some time, but after the heat of the pregnancy scare cooled down, he went back to being his friendly, but aloof self.

"Yeah, he should be here pretty soon. But, uh I'm actually going over to the Cullens' today."

That piqued his interest. He looked at me over the edge of the paper. "Oh?"

"Yeah," I said between chewing mouthfuls of my cheerios. "Carlisle and Esme just got back from Europe. I haven't seen them in ages."

"Hmm," he murmured. "And does Jacob know you're going over there?"

"Actually," I retorted, annoyed by his teasing. "He's coming with me."

My declaration was met with a loud guffaw from Charlie. "Oh, that ought to be great."

I rolled my eyes at him as he continued to laugh behind the sports page in his hands. I went back to my cereal and tried to ignore him. Every few minutes or so he would chuckle and mumble under his breath. I finally got a reprieve when I heard a knock on the door followed by Jacob's voice in the living room. "Hey guys, what's for breakfast? I'm starved."

Jacob walked in with a huge smile on his face, rubbing his belly expectantly. Charlie got up from the table and gave Jacob a pat on the shoulder. "Good luck today, son. You're going to need it."

It didn't take much convincing to get Jacob to come with me to the Cullens' home. Like me, he was suspicious of Alice's request that he be present for what was supposed to be a welcome home party. We both worried that it had something to do with the Volturi, but we didn't want to voice our fears, afraid they would manifest. So, we kept mum about the subject. But, it didn't escape my notice that Jacob's grip on my hand was stronger than normal the entire drive over there.

When we walked into the house, I could see it was full of activity. Jasper seemed to be working overtime in an attempt to maintain a calm environment. Based on the anxious look in Jacob's eyes, I was more than grateful for the social sedative Jasper provided.

I got my usual bear hug from Emmett who challenged Jacob to the latest action-packed video game he just bought. After some serious trash talking, Jacob agreed. But, Jacob situated himself on the couch in such a way that I was always in his line of sight. I wasn't sure if it was the Alpha instinct or the protective boyfriend in him that made him feel like I needed to be protected even when I was amongst friends. Granted, my friends _were_ vampires, so I could see why he would feel the need to be extra attentive.

Esme walked in from the kitchen and I ran into her open arms. She held me in her strong embrace and I was immediately overwhelmed by her sweet scent. I had truly missed her. The Cullens weren't much of a family without Carlisle and Esme. The house had felt empty for the last few months. And now it truly felt like a home.

I followed Esme into the kitchen where she was preparing a small feast. Considering the fact that Jacob and I were the only ones eating, I thought it was a bit much, even for Jacob's voracious appetite. I heard Jacob and Rosalie in the living room trading blonde jokes for dog jokes. That was just how they "got along." And if it worked, if it kept them somewhat civil with each other, I wasn't going to mess with it. It's not like I needed any more tension in that house.

Esme and I chatted and she caught me up on all of her adventures abroad. I noticed she kept her anecdotes to stories about their friends and not on the success or failure of their mission to obtain allies. I knew for a fact at that point that they had some news. And, I wasn't expecting it to be good.

Jasper must have sensed my distress because in came Alice, leading me out of the kitchen by the arm and made me take a seat on the couch opposite where Jacob and Emmett were sitting. Jacob glanced up from his game and gave me a look that said, _Expect the worst_.

"So," Alice began conversationally. "I see you're really enjoying your ballet classes with Liz."

I blushed furiously, thinking she was talking about the infamous "cramp" incident, but then I remembered she couldn't see me when I was with Jacob.

"Bella, why are you blushing? I just meant that you're looking really fit. You've got a healthy glow about you. It's nice to see."

Without missing a beat, Emmett said, "That's probably because ballet dancers are so limber. I bet you and the mutt are getting down to all sorts of flexible stuff. Am I right?" He nudged Jacob playfully. For once in his life, I saw his russet complexion turn as red as a tomato. I was mortified and Jacob looked speechless. We sat there in shocked silence which was only broken by the sound of the plastic controller breaking apart in Jacob's hands.

Emmett sighed. "Lucky for you, we keep extra controllers on hand for just such occasions." Emmett opened a drawer in the entertainment center and in a matter of seconds, Jacob was playing with a new controller. Emmett slapped him on the back chuckling, "Relax man. I was just kidding." He then saw the cocky grin on Jacob's face and said, "Or…maybe I wasn't kidding. Hell yeah! Way to go wolf boy!" He raised his hand for a high five only to quickly resume the game when he saw that Rosalie and I were glaring daggers at him.

Alice was about to comment on our odd behavior when Carlisle and Edward walked into the room. The tension was palpable. Everyone stood and congregated around the couches. Carlisle gave me a hug and Edward nodded in my direction with a strained smile on his face. Carlisle extended his hand to Jacob.

"Thank you for coming, Jacob. I knew you'd want to be here for Bella anyway. But the news we have really involves the pack as well." Carlisle then looked at me and said, "Bella, why don't you have a seat?"

Jacob made his way towards me and grabbed my hand as we sat down on the couch. The others took seats while Carlisle remained standing, all of our attention directed towards him.

"We brought you two here today to give you some status updates. It would seem that our trip was a success. Bella, I have powerful friends all over the world. Some of them have powers equal to that of members of the Volturi. None of them are willing to oppose the Volturi in an outright war. But, each and every one of them has vowed to align with us should the Volturi move against us."

Jacob interrupted, too impatient to allow Carlisle to explain the situation. "That's all fine and good Doc. They'll come and help _you_ guys out. What I want to know is will they help _us,_ the wolves to protect Bella if the Volturi come here and try to take her away from me?"

Edward glared at Jacob. "He was getting to that, Dog. If you would shut up and listen and not interrupt, you'd hear everything you need to know."

I felt Jacob's body tense for a fight. I clenched his hand in mine to the point where my knuckles turned white. I glanced angrily at Edward, and nodded at Carlisle to continue.

"Jacob," he began, ignoring the angry outburst as if it never occurred. "They have all vowed to protect Bella in whatever way we need, should their services be required. Now…"

"Why?" This time it was Rosalie who spoke out of turn. "Why would they want to protect one human girl? What is Bella to them?"

There was no malice in her voice. Rosalie was just asking the question I had been dying to ask myself. Why would anyone put their life on the line with the Volturi if it could be avoided? What was one human life compared to being robbed of eternity?

Carlisle was thoughtful for a moment. "Rose, these people are my friends. They'd do anything to help me and my family because they know I'd do the same for them. But, apart from that, the Volturi aren't without enemies."

Carlisle talked for what seemed like hours. He mentioned some Romanian vampires who used to be in charge before the Volturi, before they were overthrown. The Romanians were his main ally in that they were looking for any excuse to topple the Italian regime. That wasn't to say they'd be better rulers. From what Carlisle said, they were just as ruthless and power hungry as the Volturi. But, they didn't want me dead. And that made them golden in my book.

Carlisle went on to tell us about his friends in Ireland and the new ones he met in South America. He gave a breakdown of their powers and even I had to admit they sounded impressive. He paused and frowned before mentioning his visit to Denali.

"We actually stopped in Alaska before we got here. We had a long visit with Carmen and Eleazar. They are with us as well, but…"

The hesitation in his voice piqued my interest. I watched as Edward pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers and knew that he was frustrated about something. "But what, Carlisle?" I couldn't take the suspense anymore.

"Well," he sighed heavily. "In light of past hostilities and due to recent events," Carlisle shot a concerned glance in Edward's direction before continuing. "Tanya didn't want anything to do with our cause against the Volturi."

This time I was too shocked to curb Jacob's growing anger. He jumped up and in a flash was in Edward's face seething and snarling. Luckily, Emmett and Jasper were quick to action. Emmett wrapped a struggling Jacob in a bear hug from behind while Jasper used his abilities to try to calm him. When Jacob finally calmed down enough, he glared at Edward menacingly.

"You just couldn't leave well enough alone, could you? That bitch was already pissed about her dead sisters and then you had to go and hit it and quit it with her. Why _would_ she be on our side?" I groaned at Jacob's outburst. I had told him about Edward's tryst with Tanya in confidence. He shouldn't have blurted out that he knew about it like that in front of everyone.

Rosalie looked genuinely hurt by this news. I knew she thought of Tanya as a close friend, perhaps even another sister. "She doesn't have to be on _your_ side, mutt," she said angrily. "She's on _our_ side. And we're with Bella. Of course she'll fight with us. Right, Carlisle?"

"I'm afraid not, Rosalie." Carlisle looked just as hurt as Rosalie did. He thought of Tanya as family and the fact that she refused to help him, yet again, came as a big blow. "But remember this, and possibly it might make you feel better about the situation. She didn't say she'd fight against us. All she said was that she wasn't going to sacrifice herself to the Volturi for one human."

Rosalie visibly withdrew into herself. With a furrowed brow she sat back down on the couch and stared out the windows into the green forest beyond. The Denali clan didn't owe me anything. But, this was the second time that Tanya, the Cullens' friend, had failed to aid them when they needed her help. After the fallout with Edward, Rosalie and Emmett had gone up to Denali to smooth things over with Tanya. She had reassured them that there were no hard feelings. Obviously, that had just been lip service as she had no intention of sticking to her word. Rosalie was nothing if not loyal and I think this betrayal hurt her more than she was willing to admit.

"Jacob," Carlisle rested a tentative hand on Jacob's shoulder. "Please sit down and try to relax. Tanya is just one vampire. I've acquired the allegiance of at least fifty others, far more powerful than she. Tanya's not standing with us, but she wouldn't fight against us. She's decided to remain neutral, and I couldn't abide by her feeling as though she were being forced to do something she didn't want to do. We'll be fine without her."

Jacob reluctantly obeyed and took his place beside me on the couch. Carlisle's next statement knocked the air out of the room. "We have bigger things to worry about than Tanya. I received a letter from Aro, today as a matter of fact." He took the letter out of his pocket and read it aloud.

_Dearest Carlisle,_

_We have waited patiently for a wedding invitation, we fear now will never come. We're afraid that this doesn't bode well for Isabella or for your coven._

_Our beloved Alec and Jane have given us a lot to think about after their recent visit to your home. We are most distressed by their findings._

_We will be in touch. Soon._

"Aro didn't even sign it. He simply affixed his official seal. Less personal that way, I guess."

I think I would have completely fallen apart had Jasper not been in the room sending his soothing energy my way. I was reminded once again that all my happiness, the life I'd made for myself was virtually on loan from the Volturi. It could be taken away in an instant. I could hear Aro's sickeningly sinister voice through every word of that letter. He was onto us. He was no fool. He may not know the exact details, that I was actually in love with another man, but then again he didn't need to know. Why would he care? All he cared about was that he was being played. That letter was his way of reminding us who was in charge.

Carlisle spent the next hour reassuring us that Aro could be reasoned with, that he wouldn't make good on his threats once he knew how many allies we were working with from all over the world. Esme insisted that the talk should be moved into the dining room where she made sure that Jacob and I ate our fill.

I didn't taste a thing. I ate obediently and when I was done, I thanked Esme for the food and hugged her saying I was glad she and Carlisle were home. I walked out of the house with Jacob close on my heels. I tossed him the keys as I knew I was in no shape to drive. He didn't take me home. Instead, he drove us to First Beach and parked on the side of the road, looking out onto the ocean.

He turned off the engine and all I heard was a deafening silence. I stared out the windshield and looked at the beautiful horizon. I saw the crashing waves and the screeching gulls, but I heard nothing. Jacob held my hand in his. "Are you okay?" he asked, his husky voice breaking through the sound barrier.

I looked into his warm eyes and shook my head, "No, I'm not okay. I'm scared."

He gave me a grim smile then returned his gaze to the water. "Jake, what about you?" I could sense that he didn't want to tell me how he felt, that he was afraid he'd scare me further. But, we'd already agreed not to allow any secrets or half-truths to fester between us. As encouragement, I added, "The truth, Jacob. Tell me the truth."

"The truth," he said, looking at me with pained eyes. "The truth is that we're fucked! Bells, the Volturi aren't just going to lie down and play nice because Carlisle asks them to. This thing isn't going to end with some uncomfortable stand-off where both sides hem and haw only for it all to end in a stalemate. The Cullens are either completely naïve or stupid. The Volturi aren't going to stop, honey. You've disobeyed them. They're all powerful and yet one puny human has essentially told them to fuck off. They're not looking too good in the eyes of the vampire world. If they can't control one human, how can they be expected to rule over vampires? If Carlisle's right, and those creepy Romanians are really looking for an excuse for an uprising, then you would be the perfect accelerant to the flame."

Jacob was riled up. His fear for me drove him and guided his words. "Bells, they're not going to stop until you or they are destroyed. They have eternity to play games with you and to give you a false sense of security. They could come tomorrow or in ten, twenty, or fifty years. And then, it won't just be you they'll want. They'll go after your family; your…_our_ children. It doesn't matter. All that matters is that they have all the power and you made a promise to them. They'll want payment. They'll want blood."

Jacob was silent for a moment while I let his words sink in. I was grateful for his honesty, but terrified at the same time. He shook his head and I knew he had more to say, but was afraid to keep going. "It's okay, Jake. Keep going. I can take it."

"Honey, I…I just don't know. My gut is telling me that we haven't heard the last of Tanya. She has a part to play yet. And, unless you develop some sort of supernatural force field to protect us all, it's going to come down to fighting. And people are going to die."

I couldn't hold my emotions back any longer and I burst into tears. I threw myself into Jacob's protective arms. "Oh God, Jake. I don't want that. I don't want anyone to die because of me."

He held me tightly and stroked my hair soothingly. "Shh, honey. It's okay. If anyone dies, it's not because of you. Do you hear me? You're not responsible for _any_ of this. The vampires are the cause. This is _our_ world and it's about time they realized that."

I wiped the tears from my eyes. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that we need to take the fight into our own hands and on our own turf. We can't just sit and wait for them to show up and annihilate us. Either way, something's going to have to change."

**A/N: As usual I have no excuse as to why this took so long to get out. So, I'll just move onto other things. So, this chapter wouldn't have been possible without the help of my great friend Crazily-Addicted. She's the best beta a girl could ask for. She helps me focus my ideas and gives me inspiration. So, thank you so much Neha. Please check out my favorite stories list and check out her work. It's great. I also re-worked my story out-line and I'm definitely going to be posting a total of 50 chapters. While organizing my ideas, I got excited all over again about finishing this story. Hopefully that excitement will help motivate me to post my chapters quicker. No promises, but I really will try to work on that. Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing. I look forward to hearing from you.**


	37. Chapter 37

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do NOT.**

**A/N: As usual, I would first like to thank everyone who left me anonymous reviews: eliz, Paola, amber, brooke, and AnonymousAussie. You guys are wonderful and I ALWAYS love hearing from you. And, of course, to EVERYONE who left a review last time, you know how much I appreciate it. You guys keep me motivated to keep going with this story. So, thank you once again.**

**CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN **

The very next day, Jacob went back to the Cullens' with his concerns. To his credit, he kept his temper in check and presented his arguments articulately. Jacob addressed Carlisle directly as though he were speaking to his peer and said, "I don't want to sit and wait for the Volturi to strike. I want to take them out. If we're going to do that, I need to know everything you know about them."

Carlisle looked thoughtfully at Jacob, like he was seeing more than just a teenager, but a true leader of his people. He nodded and said, "Alright, I'll show you what we have so far."

He retrieved a set of blueprints from his office and spread them out on the dining room table. The dining room was temporarily turned into a war room. The blueprints depicted the general construction of the Volturi's underground fortress in Volterra. Carlisle began his detailed illustrations as soon as I broke up with Edward, rightfully assuming that it would come down to a fight to keep me human. He wanted his family to be prepared for any possible scenario, including a battle. Carlisle gave a thorough description of the fortress itself, as well as the surrounding city.

I looked over the maps and blueprints, not really knowing what I was doing, but feeling as though I should do something. Alice looked on, clearly distressed that she was of no help due to her lack of visions. Other than Carlisle, Alice, Edward and I were the only ones who had even been to Volterra. The rest of the Cullens offered no additional insight, and as a result, a dark cloud hung over the room.

"Wait a minute," Jacob said, pointing at the throne room on the map provided. "There's only one door leading in and out of this room. That doesn't make sense. You mean to tell me that they'd trap themselves in there? No way. There's got to be another way in?"

Jacob spent hours going over the maps and studying the various entrance and exit points. He asked questions about the areas of the stronghold that weren't illustrated on the blueprints.

"I'm sorry Jacob." Carlisle frowned at his incomplete mock-up. "I lived with the Volturi for years. I was an honored guest in their home. But, even I didn't have an all-access pass. I was forbidden to go down certain corridors or enter certain wings of the palace. I can't honestly tell you what's behind every door. I just can't say for sure what we could expect if we planned an all out assault on them."

Jacob could not be deterred. He respected Carlisle's opinion, a fact that took a while to come to terms with. It was hard for Jake to see the Cullens as _people_. They were _leeches_. They were his enemy. But, as much as he respected Carlisle, Jacob couldn't in good conscience take his word at face value, without exhausting every other option. Jacob was a free thinker. He always had been. Of all the wolves, he alone was able to find loopholes in Sam's orders. His strength of mind was what had enabled him to continue seeing me, despite being ordered not to. Jacob was the true Alpha of the pack. He would one day take his place among the tribe's Council Elders. It was no seventeen year old boy that we were looking at. Jacob embodied the strength, wisdom and determination of his people. Even Edward grudgingly looked on him with awe.

Jacob went over battle strategies with Jasper and took notes about the abilities our side had versus what the Volturi had in their arsenal. He even consulted with Edward and asked him everything he remembered from when we were taken down to Aro's throne room. When Edward exhausted all the information he had, Jacob sat in silence for a while, taking it all in. He was bound and determined to make his plan work.

"Damn it," he growled, pounding his fists on the table. I nearly jumped out of my seat at the barrage of sound in the once quiet room. Jacob nodded grudgingly at Carlisle and said, "You're right. The Volturi already have the advantage on us. We can't see what's coming, so we're already sitting ducks. I was hoping we could find a chink in their armor, something to help us out. But," he tossed the blueprints to the side before continuing. "We're no closer to a winning plan than we were yesterday. Even if we got the entire Pack there, combined with all of you guys and your allies, it would be suicide to even think of attacking them on their own turf. They've got the upper hand; the higher ground."

The Cullens stayed quiet, as Jacob covered his face with his hands. I didn't like the defeatist looks in their eyes. I turned my attention to Jacob in an attempt to offer my support. I placed my hand on his arm, rubbing his bicep soothingly.

"Jake," I began. "What are we going to do? What do you want to do?"

He squeezed my hand reassuringly and held it in his own as he stood up. "Well," he addressed the room at large. "Since we can't bring the fight to them, we're going to let them bring it to us, but on our terms. Those bastards don't even know about the wolves yet. That gives us the element of surprise. They're going to come here, thinking they can take Bella and think that you'll just bend to their will. Based on what you've told me, I don't think they're expecting you to fight. And they won't be expecting us. We know these woods like the backs of our hands. They don't. They want a war? We'll bring it to them. Only, here, _we'll_ have the advantage."

Carlisle smiled proudly at Jacob, thoroughly impressed by his courage and tenacity. They shook hands and it was like watching two generals form an alliance against a common enemy. Jacob made the best of the situation. He decided to step up patrols and increased training with the Cullens. He even took it upon himself to bring the Cullens, a couple at a time, across the treaty line to allow them to familiarize themselves with the terrain. As much as it killed him to bend the rules, he wasn't going to allow pride to get in the way of gaining an advantage. Though Sam had initially protested that idea, he quickly backed down when Jacob unleashed the full strength of his Alpha will. Every spare moment he had, he spent working on his speed, agility and fighting skills. He vowed to make the Volturi pay for threatening our chance at happiness.

In some respects, the Volturi threat was a blessing. Jacob and I started living our lives as if every day was our last. We made our time together meaningful and rich. We hardly ever argued and even when we did, we resolved the conflicts quickly.

That isn't to say we were fatalists by any means. We both believed that we would make it through. That we would survive. We studied and we worked hard for the future we wanted to have. But, we put our relationships as our top priorities so that if anything were to happen, to either of us, we wouldn't have any regrets in the end.

I had decided that I had been far too neglectful of my father. I'd lived in Forks for two years and yet hadn't really gotten to know him. Renee left with me in tow when I was two. Apart from summers up until the age of twelve, I'd never spent any real time with him.

I had come to Forks completely lost and set adrift. My mother had just remarried and I didn't feel like a part of her life anymore. So, I moved to Forks, thinking it would give her time with her new husband and maybe help me reestablish my relationship with my father. But, instead of embracing my new life and my old surroundings, I embraced Edward instead. Once I met Edward, drama became a staple of my life. I had lied. I ran away from home (twice). I had been nothing but a burden on Charlie ever since I re-entered his life. I had been difficult, brooding and secretive. I'd hurt him and all he'd given me in return was unconditional love and understanding. He didn't deserve such a wretched daughter. And, I was bound and determined to make it up to him.

I took to watching Mariners games with him. Faced with the alternative, I figured three hours of boredom was a better option than an entire day out on a boat with smelly fish, entrails and nasty, dangerous looking hooks.

At first, Charlie was a little put off by my sudden interest in baseball. I had sat down next to him on the couch one day and just started watching. He didn't say anything of it until the following Saturday when I came home for the weekend and parked my butt on the couch with him to watch another game.

Charlie was glad that I had come home for the entire weekend, and not just for Sunday dinner. He decided to make lunch to mark the occasion. He grilled some steaks and corn on the cob while I fixed up a potato salad. We sat down on the couch with our TV trays just in time for the first pitch.

I started to eat, and couldn't help but notice out of the corner of my eye that Charlie was staring at me. "What?" I asked, wiping my mouth repeatedly with my napkin. "Is there something on my face?"

Charlie just shook his head and sighed. "Bells, are you sure you don't want to invite Billy and Jacob over? The season just started. This game isn't going to be all that exciting for a newbie."

I smiled and said, "Not today, Dad. I'm not expecting action-packed thrills here. I just wanted to have some father-daughter bonding time."

"Oh, okay." He picked up his knife and fork, while I returned to my own steak. I had just swallowed a scrumptious bite when Charlie blurted out, "You're pregnant, aren't you?"

"What?" I coughed, choking on the tiny morsel in my mouth. I guzzled down some water in an attempt to push the meat down my throat to clear my windpipe. I kept coughing, staring wide-eyed at a panicked Charlie. When I finally caught my breath, I looked him in the eye and said, "What the hell, Dad? So, if I do anything different, you're just going to assume I'm pregnant?"

"Well, are you?" he asked, determined to get a straight answer.

"Holy Crow, Dad! No, I'm not pregnant. Geez, what's with the third degree?"

He frowned, not knowing what to say now that his suspicion was proven false. He scratched his head. "Well, you're acting weird."

"Weird?" I was completely dumbfounded. "So, you think I'm acting weird because I want to spend the day with my father?"

"Yeah, I do. Bells, it's just weird. You're a teenager with a boyfriend and school to worry about. Your old man is usually the last person on the list."

I chuckled. He did have a point. "Okay, that's fair," I said. "But, today, I'm all yours. So, tell me what's going on. Who are the Mariners playing anyway?"

I took another bite, thinking we could get back to business when Charlie whispered, "Are you leaving?"

It broke my heart that Charlie's next thought would be that I was spending time with him because I planned on leaving. But, what else should he expect? When had I ever shown any interest in his life? I had been selfish for two years and fully consumed with Edward and becoming a vampire. Yeah, I'd lived in Forks. But, I wasn't truly a member of the community. I kept myself an outsider, even to the old man. I was afraid to get too attached, or to let others get attached to me, knowing how fruitless it would be once I turned into a vampire. Nothing in my past behavior would lead Charlie to believe that I really cared about him. He couldn't even trust that I just wanted to spend time with him without thinking that I had an ulterior motive.

"Dad, I'm not going anywhere," I reassured him. I wanted to reach over and give him a hug, but I didn't. I couldn't understand why it was so easy for me to show my emotions to Jacob, and even Edward before him, but I didn't feel comfortable with my own father. Maybe it was the vibe Charlie put off. It was understandable considering he'd been a bachelor all of his life, never really having to deal with a wife or daughter on a regular basis. Or maybe Renee had really hurt him, scarred him so much that he hid his feelings, afraid of being hurt again. Either way, I decided right then and there that I would try to break through the walls he built up around himself. I knew my Dad was a loving man, and I was going to help him show it.

"I promise you, Dad. I'm not going to run away from my problems ever again. I know how much I've hurt you. I've broken your trust, so many times. But, I'm not that girl anymore. I've learned from my mistakes. I just wanted to spend some time with you now to make up for all those years I was away. I love Renee, don't get me wrong. But, I missed out on a lot with you. I just want to make up for lost time, you know?"

"Yeah, okay Bells." Charlie hung his head for a moment, refusing to meet my eyes. I thought he was angry at first, until I heard him sniffle and then I knew that he was just trying to get his emotions in check. He cleared his throat and said, "Let's eat before the food gets cold."

And that was it. Somehow, I'd convinced Charlie that my intentions were pure, and he took to it immediately.

An hour into the game I had to ask, "Okay, so what's a balk?"

"Slow down, slugger," he replied. "This is just your first game. That stuff is for the more advanced fan. I'll explain that one later."

So, instead, Charlie proceeded to explain the difference between the American and National leagues, the argument for and against the Designated Hitter, and the effects steroids has on the purity of the game. When he saw that my eyes had glazed over from too much information, he laughed and shook his head saying, "Alright. I can take a hint. That's enough for one day."

We really had a great time. We didn't talk about Philosophy or my favorite books, or even my relationship with Jacob. We just talked. He filled me in on the latest gossip from work and on the Rez. Between Billy and Charlie, you could find out everything you needed to know about people in both Forks and La Push. He enjoyed hearing stories about my classmates and all the crazy antics in the dorm. He loved hearing about Liz and how crazy she was. He even laughed at how she tried to get both Edward and Jacob to pose nude for her drawing class.

We laughed and joked around. I couldn't believe that after all these years, I had finally learned a little something about baseball. I wouldn't say I liked it, but I was certainly learning to tolerate it. And, considering I still lived on campus, I only had to take the baseball watching in small doses. The rules were simple and I was able to follow the action, or non-action as the case may be depending on the game. Though, the "balk" remained a mystery to me.

All in all, I was finally getting to know Charlie the man, not just the father. And, despite the way he and Billy conspired to tease me every chance they got, I realized that he was a pretty cool guy. I took pride in the fact that I was so much like him. I couldn't change the past, but I could definitely make sure that he knew how much I cared about him from that point on.

But, I didn't stop there. Charlie wasn't the only relationship I'd neglected. I took up video chatting with Renee. Alice told me it would be great for us. And, as usual, she wasn't wrong. The video chats were so much fun. They didn't feel impersonal like our emails or rushed like our infrequent phone calls. I got to see her face while we talked and it made me feel like I was in Jacksonville with her. She was happy and thriving in the Florida sunshine. And she could see that the constant rain in Forks hadn't dampened my spirits any. We made a pact to video chat at least once a week.

I'd also made it a point to keep in touch with Angela. I made my way up to Seattle one weekend to spend some time with her. I met her roommate and ended up crashing the night in their room. We had a great night just listening to music and watching movies. We even talked about boys. It was nice to have a true slumber party without the fear of being "made-over" or having to lie about it to Charlie. I felt like a normal girl for once.

Maintaining my relationships was time consuming. But, each and every moment was worth it. My parents may not have been together, but I was lucky enough to have both of them still in my life. And, I refused to squander any more time with them or to take their love for granted.

When I had time, I also lent my services to Emily who was busy planning her wedding in just a few short weeks. Technically, she and Sam had been engaged since the previous year. But, they had decided to postpone the wedding for various reasons, namely, because of Harry Clearwater's death, Leah's heartbreak and of course, the battle with the Newborns. There was always something getting in the way. But, Sam and Emily finally realized that there was always going to be something, so they figured why not get married as soon as possible and deal with what came next as a married couple and as a family.

Of course, Emily had everything under control so she didn't really need much help from me. Any woman who could feed a pack of ravenous werewolves on a regular basis should be able to handle a few hundred people for a wedding, right? But, she did seem overwhelmed. She was inviting practically everyone from La Push, not to mention family and friends from her own Reservation. But, true to form, Emily was planning for a simple wedding, free of pretentiousness. She didn't need a fancy venue or proper crystal and china. She knew that the wedding was about her and Sam, and their respective families. That's all she needed.

Spring break was coming late that year, the second week of April as a matter of fact. And that's when Emily and Sam planned on getting married. Seeing as how we were already in late March at that point, I figured Emily had a lot of work cut out for her. But, I was confident that she could pull it off. Of course, I had been so busy with Jacob, school, work and family, that I didn't even notice that a significant anniversary was quickly approaching. The realization took me by surprise.

Leah had called me on a Friday night and invited me to dinner at her mom's house the following evening. She said that the Pack would be there including some council members and that it would mean a lot to her if I was there. She sounded really down and hung up rather abruptly after I assured her I would come. She didn't give me a chance to ask what was wrong.

It wasn't until Jacob stopped by my room later that evening that I realized what a complete, selfish heel I'd been. He told me that the reason for the get together at the Clearwater's was to mark the one year anniversary of Harry's death. Sue was making Harry's famous fish fry. After dinner, there would be a huge bonfire where everyone from the Rez would gather to share stories about Harry and honor his memory.

The next day, Charlie drove us over to Sue's in his police cruiser. I stared out the window thinking about what to expect. I mean, I hadn't even gone to his funeral. I realized that I wouldn't have any stories to share. Although Harry was a big part of my father's life, I hardly knew the man. And it was only now, a year after his death that I understood that I was the one who had truly missed out.

Billy and Charlie always talked about what a good man Harry was, how funny he was. Jacob had nothing but respect for his memory. After all, after his mother had died, Sue and Harry had acted as second parents, offering nothing but love and support to a young, grieving boy.

I remembered being at dinner with the Clearwaters at Jake's house, just a few weeks before Harry died. I had only just started hanging out with Jacob and was barely functioning as a human being. I remember eating spaghetti outside, because there wasn't enough room for all of us inside. I remembered feeling like I was a part of a family, something bigger than myself. And a lot of that had to do with Harry's carefree nature. He had made me feel welcome.

Of course, I couldn't ignore the fact that the anniversary of Harry's death also marked the anniversary of the day that changed my life forever. While Harry was in the hospital, surrounded by friends and family, fighting for his life, I had flung myself off of a cliff in a desperate attempt to feel close to my lost love.

I had been such a fool. I'd felt so alone, so abandoned. I couldn't even be bothered to stay at Jake's because he wasn't there to entertain me and keep my mind off of my own sorrows. And why wasn't he there for me? Oh yeah, that's right. He was out in the woods hunting down Victoria to protect me. And I took it all for granted.

I remember standing at that precipice, looking down at the cold churning water over a hundred feet below. I wasn't trying to kill myself, at least not consciously. But, I knew that danger was the only way to hear Edward's voice in my mind. In retrospect, I don't know why Charlie didn't have me committed. God knows I had lost my mind. Even though I had no intention of killing myself, a part of me realized that it would be a lot easier if I did die. The constant pain, the hole in my chest would go away, forever. Not once did I consider the pain it would cause my parents or Jacob. Not once did it register that one day, I'd be able to move on. One day, through time, the pain would lessen and then go away. I'd be able to live again. No. I had no interest in a future without Edward. I was short-sighted and only able to see a present filled with pain and loneliness. It was the most selfish thing I'd ever done. And, considering how long my list of selfish deeds actually was, that was saying something. So, when the cold water had dragged me down into its depths, I didn't fight it. I didn't have the energy. I gave into the chilling cold.

If Jacob hadn't jumped in after me, either the water or Victoria would have claimed my life that day. Charlie would have lost his best friend _and_ his daughter, all in one day. I couldn't help the tears that began falling from my eyes when I thought of how selfish and childish I had been. I would have lost my life. And, for what? Charlie noticed my tears and reached over to pat my hand.

"It's going to be okay, Bells. Gosh…I didn't think you'd be so upset."

As Charlie reassured me, I actually felt worse. There he was trying to comfort me, thinking I was distraught about Harry, when as usual, I was only focused on my own failings. I sighed heavily and wiped the tears from my eyes. This day wasn't about me. It was about memorializing a good man. His memory didn't need to be tainted by the rash, impetuous actions of a lovesick, teenage girl.

It was amazing the difference one year could make. Had I not jumped, Alice would never have thought I was dead. Edward would've never gone to the Volturi to commit suicide. And, instead of following Edward to Italy, I could have been home, with my father, consoling him as he mourned the loss of one of his closest friends.

But, I knew I couldn't take any of it back. What was done was done. I learned the hard way that all my choices had consequences. Albeit, most people's consequences don't come in the form of vampires hell-bent on killing me and everyone I loved.

But, some good things had happened in the past year too. Though Leah and Seth lost the family they once had, they'd also gained another one through their admittance into the Pack. Sure, Leah had a harder time with things thanks to Sam and Emily. But, she'd opened up to Jacob and to me with her true feelings. By accepting us into her life with open arms she'd let down a wall of bitterness which allowed Jack to walk into her life. He helped her maintain a balance between the life she lead, (the only female in a pack of werewolves) and the life she wanted to lead (one where she'd choose her own career path and raise children with the man she loved).

Then there was Sue. Like a true Quileute woman, she handled Harry's death with bravery and dignity. She had lost her husband, her other half. And the pain was a constant presence behind her dark eyes. But, she mourned her husband while caring for her children and taking Harry's place in the Council. She was a true example of how to deal with loss. Then again, that was the key word. I never _dealt_ with Edward's abandonment. I just turned into a self-obsessed zombie who liked to wallow in her own pain. And once again, I hung my head in shame.

But, even Sue had begun to move on. She and Charlie had been getting closer for months, despite the fact that she still wore her wedding ring. I think she was afraid to take that next step. But, in spite of that, Sue and Charlie gave each other something that had been missing from their lives; companionship. And, from what I saw with Charlie, that was enough for now.

We walked into the Clearwaters' house. There were maybe a hundred people in attendance, bursting out of the home onto the front and back yards. The Pack was put to work serving up Harry's famous fish fry. Sue sat on the couch flanked by Seth and Leah. It wasn't the solemn affair I'd expected. Yes, people were sad. But they were all trying their best to be positive. Sue and the kids all had smiles on their faces as the talked with their guests. It was clear that despite the palpable sadness, this was a celebration of Harry's life and not a memorial of his death.

We said our hellos and then made our way to the dining room to grab some food. Charlie went to find Billy while I looked for Jacob. I found him standing in a corner talking with Quil and Jack. They both nodded at me while Jacob wrapped me in his arms. I sank into his embrace. No words were necessary. He kissed the top of my head and we all stood in contemplative silence.

After dinner, we all migrated to the beach where Sam, Jared and Paul had a massive bonfire burning. Leah and Seth never left their mother's side as various members of the tribe regaled the crowd with stories of Harry. Charlie and Billy had some pretty hilarious stories to share. We all laughed until we cried. And, then we cried until we laughed. I sat on the sand, wrapped up in Jacob's body, feeling safe and warm. It was a celebration of Harry's life and everything he stood for including the legacy he left behind. I may not have known the man all that well. But, I was thankful to share in his memory.

I think Harry's family needed that closure. I knew that everyone mourned differently. But, it was safe to say that the first year is always the hardest. It was like the memorial was their way of saying that their mourning period was over. No, they would never forget him, nor would they ever stop missing him. But, they all seemed to realize that he would want them to move on, to live when he could not.

A few days after the memorial, I had lunch in Port Angeles with Leah. She met me when I was between classes. She was in good spirits. It was almost as if she'd finally let her father go and let him rest in peace. She had blamed herself for his death seeing as how he had a heart attack shortly after she and Seth phased for the first time. It was almost as though she'd forgiven herself and allowed herself to feel something other than grief and regret. According to Leah, Seth was doing much better too.

I didn't realize how cathartic that memorial was until soon after. I came back to Forks for one of our family dinners. When I got home, Charlie said that Billy and Jacob would meet us at Sue's house. When we got there, I instantly noticed that Sue had stopped wearing her wedding ring. And, by the next time we all had dinner together, Sue and Charlie were officially dating.

They were the subject of town gossip. People couldn't get enough of their romance. But, all the gossip seemed to be positive. Charlie was well loved and respected in Forks, and Sue was now a leader of the tribe. Everyone wanted the best for them and if they found that in each other, then that was even better.

Of course, like all small town gossip, the "next big thing" diverted everyone's attention. When April arrived, so did the anticipation for Sam and Emily's wedding. Emily had asked Kim to be her maid of honor and only bridesmaid. Leah was initially set to fill that role. But, I think the two cousins realized that too much had happened between them for that to be possible. Leah wished Emily well. She just didn't want to play a part in her wedding. Emily had reluctantly agreed, willing to give Leah anything, knowing how much she had hurt her. Her choice of Kim had been a source of gossip because everyone knew the history between Leah and Emily. Before Sam, Emily and Leah had been as close as sisters. I could see the pain in Emily's eyes knowing that Leah wouldn't be the one standing by her side when she married Sam. But, she was happy that Leah was planning on attending the nuptials at all.

Since Emily only had one bridesmaid, Sam opted to have only one groomsman. He chose Jared since they had always been the closest, seeing as Jared was the second wolf to phase. Plus, they were closer in age than the other wolves and Jared also imprinted next after Sam. They had a lot in common. Jacob had been relieved by this news because he feared Sam would ask him to be a groomsman out of a sense of obligation. He didn't want to have to wear a suit or have any responsibilities other than eating and dancing with his girl.

Embry wasn't all that excited to attend either. Karen had broken up with him shortly before the wedding, citing the fact that he was too immature and that she needed a real man who could take real responsibility. Karen, not being an imprint, was completely unaware of the irony. Aside from Sam and Jacob, Embry was one of the most responsible people I knew. Sure, he could be a complete moron sometimes. He was a teenage boy after all. But, it was her loss.

I couldn't help but feel protective over Embry and the rest of the Pack. Sure, I couldn't do much physically to protect them, but I could give the stink eye like the best of them. The Pack, hell even Paul, was my family. If you messed with them, you messed with me. I mean, they had put their lives on the line for me countless times. A few foul looks at ex-girlfriends was the least I could do.

The wedding and reception were being held at the Tribal Council Center. I had been up late the night before helping everyone set up the reception hall. The boys did all the heavy lifting and moved tables and chairs and set up the dance floor. Kim, Rachel and Emily worked on floral arrangements while I ironed tablecloths and Leah set the tables. I had been surprised to see Leah so willing to help. But, it was obvious despite everything, that she still loved her cousin and wanted the best for her; even if the best _was_ Sam.

We finished up around eleven and while I was headed home, Jacob and the rest of the guys were off to celebrate Sam's last night as a single man. I couldn't help but laugh at their naïve excitement. Who did they think they were fooling? It's not like they were going to go to a strip club or even a bar. The guys who were of age all had imprints. They couldn't even dream of looking at other women and they certainly didn't want to. And the rest of the guys were underage, not that they couldn't all pass for at least twenty-five if they wanted to. But, thanks to their werewolf genes, their bodies metabolized alcohol so quickly that it would cost a fortune to even get them buzzed. I felt safe in the knowledge that their impromptu "bachelor" party would probably turn into pizza and a movie at Sam's place.

I woke up the day of the wedding to a surprisingly bright and clear morning. It was April on the Olympic Peninsula, yet there wasn't a storm cloud in the sky. I heard Charlie downstairs making coffee and I figured that was my cue to hop into the shower before all the hot water was gone.

About twenty minutes later I walked back into my room, wearing my robe and ready to face the day. I checked my cell phone and found that Jacob had texted me around two in the morning.

_Watched movie Sam's. Gonna crash now. Luv u. Gnite._

I laughed out loud, pleased with myself for being right. Those boys were so predictable.

I got dressed, did my hair and make-up, and checked myself out in the mirror. I was wearing a rose-colored, knee-length dress that was cinched at the waist but then billowed out towards my knees. It had a low-cut, yet tasteful neckline and thick straps across my shoulders. I threw on a soft gray wrap and slipped on a pair of silver flats.

Liz had gone shopping with me and we had argued between two dresses. I picked the rose-colored one while she picked a pale blue number. I told her that they were both beautiful, but that I just didn't want to wear blue. She argued that the blue one looked great with my complexion. I remember muttering, "Yeah, I've heard that before." But, when I tried on my choice, with all the accessories, she conceded that I'd made the right decision.

Back in my bedroom, I admired my reflection. I'd dried and softly curled my hair then swept it all over one shoulder. It was simple yet sophisticated. I looked like a woman. It was a little scary to see just how grown up and mature I appeared. I smiled thinking that it was about time my outside caught up with my inside. I stood on my tip-toes and admired the sleek muscles I now had thanks to ballet. Jacob was going to be speechless when he saw me. I was proud of myself for looking presentable, without anyone's help.

Jacob and I had decided the night before that we would just meet outside the Council Center. I insisted to Charlie that I drive my car because I refused to be driven to a wedding in a police cruiser. Charlie didn't even argue or put up a fight. I figured he was just happy that I'd inadvertently volunteered to be his designated driver. Not that I would've had a choice in the matter anyway. I was still nineteen years old. There was no such thing as underage drinking even at a family event, when you're the Police Chief's daughter.

Charlie looked dapper in a blue suit. I encouraged him to buy a new one because other than his flat-screen television, he never splurged on anything. And, the only suit he owned was the same moth-ridden black suit he'd been wearing for twenty years. It was ill-fitting and faded. And, once I enlisted Alice's help, Charlie was trying on suits in Port Angeles in no time. I'm sure having Sue see him looking his best was an added motivator.

When we got to the Center, Jacob and Sue were outside waiting for us. Sue looked beautiful in a lavender sheath dress. Charlie's face broke into a brilliant smile at the sight. He walked right up to her, brushed her loose hair behind her ear and said, "You look lovely today, Sue." He then kissed her lightly on the lips.

I knew they were together. They _were_ officially dating. And, I also knew that people who dated actually kissed. But, I wasn't prepared for the sight of my _father_ kissing another woman. My mouth dropped open and I felt my skin flush with embarrassment. I even heard Seth groan at the display.

"Close your mouth Bella," Sue giggled. She then looked at Seth and me. "You all are going to have to get used to this sooner or later." Without a backward glance, Charlie led Sue by the arm into the Center. Seth followed behind them shaking his head, but with a big smile on his face. Leah and Jack arrived shortly after, said their hellos, and then quickly followed the crowd inside, leaving me alone with Jacob.

He still had a smile on his face after Charlie and Sue's public display of affection. I'd been so distracted that I hadn't even had a chance to really look at him. He was wearing a blue dress shirt with khaki pants and a dark blue tie. He looked gorgeous, albeit a bit uncomfortable considering he kept tugging at the tight collar around his neck. Knowing him, as soon as the vows were said, that tie would be history. It was a pity too. It looked rather nice on him.

While I was busy ogling him, Jacob picked me up in his arms and kissed me sweetly. The kiss was innocent enough, but I didn't want it to end. He finally set me back down on the ground and said, "That dress looks beautiful on you, Bells."

I blushed and did a quick turn so he could get a better view. He hugged me again and this time whispered in my ear, "I bet it would look even better on my bedroom floor."

I didn't have a chance to react to his sultry suggestion because the next second, Embry and Quil sauntered up and Jacob greeted them like he hadn't just set my insides on fire. He threw his arm over my shoulder and tucked me against his warm body. I wrapped my arms around his waist, squeezing him hard, letting him know that he'd pay for that comment later. He just chuckled and smiled even wider.

"For crying out loud guys," Embry whined. "We know you guys are happy. We get it. But could you ease up on the PDA, cuz some of us aren't here with our soul mates. It's a little sickening."

He was in a cranky mood, I thought. Jacob squeezed my hand gently and said, "Jesus, Embry. What the hell's got your panties in a bunch?"

Embry sighed and shook his head. "Karen was supposed to be here with me, okay?"

"You really miss her, don't you?" I asked. I felt really bad because he looked so down.

"No," he replied quickly. "But, at least if she was here, I'd be guaranteed some action, you know? You'd think because this is a wedding I'd have slutty bridesmaids to score with. But, considering Kim's the only bridesmaid, and she's not slutty or available, I'm screwed! Only not in the way I was planning."

My mouth fell open as Embry finished his rant. I was shocked by his reaction. I always thought of him as the quiet one. After all, he had been my advocate in getting Jacob to see reason all those weeks we were apart. But, to see this other side of him, this very hormonal teenage-boy side, well, I guess it was a dose of reality I hadn't been prepared for. Maybe Karen had a point about Embry being too immature. I made a mental note to apologize for the mean look I gave her the last time I saw her in town. Granted, my "mean look" was more of a nod and small smile, but still, now I felt bad.

"Dude, chill," Quil said while smacking Embry on the back. "Forget about that. You can hang out with me and Claire. It'll be fun."

Embry, Jake and I exchanged dumbfounded looks. "Yeah," Embry snarled. "I want to hang out with you and a baby all night. That'll be awesome."

Quil rolled his eyes. "Fine, be that way. But, I bet Claire and I will have more fun than you." And with that, Quil left us to take his seat in the hall.

Embry watched him leave and said under his breath, "I really, _really_ doubt that."

With his super werewolf hearing, Quil overheard Embry's comment and without looking back, held up his hand with his middle finger flying high and proud. I shook my head and laughed. Jacob hugged me and chuckled at Embry's sad little face. Then Embry's face lit up with excitement.

"Bella," he said. "You're hot. I bet you've got some hot friends. Why don't you set me up with one of them?"

Obviously, Embry wasn't aware of the small group of people I could actually call friends. Jacob nudged me and said, "Yeah, Bells. Why don't you introduce Embry to Angela?"

Embry unleashed his hopeful eyes on me. I frowned. I didn't think Angela would be a good fit for Embry. On the one hand, she was the daughter of a minister, and based on Embry's "appetite" I didn't think they would mesh well. On the other hand, Angela was still in love with Ben, whether she was with him or not. She wasn't ready to move on. And then a brilliant idea came to me.

"I don't know, Jake. I don't think Angela is really available. But, what about Liz?"

Jacob smiled brightly and kissed the top of my head. "That's perfect. You're a genius, Bells." I had a feeling Jacob's enthusiasm stemmed more from the idea of getting Liz's lewd looks directed towards a new body rather than finding a good match for Embry."

"Awesome. Is this the roommate I've heard so much about? Come on, Bella. You have _got_ to make it happen."

"Uh," I began nervously. As luck would have it, the music started signaling the beginning of the ceremony. I took Jacob's hand and led us to our seats, ignoring Embry's annoying questions. He wouldn't shut up about Liz until Jacob finally growled at him, silencing him for the rest of the ceremony.

The Bride and Groom looked stunning together. Emily's dress was simple but elegant. Her long black hair was tied up in a beautiful, loose bun adorned with purple hydrangeas. But that was nothing compared to the loving glow shining through her eyes and lighting up her smile. She was so happy and beautiful that you couldn't even see the scars that would forever mar her face.

Billy, being the un-official tribal chief, performed the ceremony. His presence alone lent a magical air to the event. If times were different, he would have made an incredible Chief. Much like it did when he told the stories of his ancestors; his voice carried the full meaning of the vows that Sam and Emily took. When they kissed, it felt like more than a wedding had been preformed. It truly felt like a melding of two souls into one. There wasn't a dry eye in the place.

As predicted, the moment we walked into the reception hall, Jacob removed his tie, un-tucked his shirt and rolled up his sleeves. I could hear his stomach rumbling throughout the vows and I knew he was starving at that point. There'd be no talking to him until he'd eaten his fill. Lucky for him, Sue and Emily's mother had prepared a veritable feast for dinner. We sat down to eat and had a great time hanging out with Billy, Seth, Sue and Charlie and Leah and Jack. Rachel and Paul had been M.I.A. since the ceremony. No one wanted to think of the reasons behind their absence, so we all ignored it. The wolves present couldn't resist making several trips to the buffet line for more helpings.

After dinner, Sam and Emily took to the dance floor for their first dance as husband and wife. They were all smiles as they held each other, slowly swaying to the music. You could see the endless, unconditional love reflected out of Sam's eyes, completely untainted and undiluted by thoughts of Leah. Emily was the only one who existed for him. It was so beautiful and moving that I almost felt bad for being privy to such a private moment.

Once their dance was over, the DJ invited everyone else onto the dance floor to join the happy couple. Despite my ballet lessons and growing confidence, I still wasn't that great of a dancer. I figured I'd mingle with some guests instead. I tried to subtly make my way towards the nearest exit, but Jacob was too quick for me.

"I don't think so, Bella. I want at least one dance with you."

He led me by the hand towards the crowd of dancers. His touch was so warm and soothing that I didn't resist his pull. He picked a spot close to the perimeter of the dance floor, which provided a quick getaway should I need one. I could have kissed him for that alone. He wrapped me in his arms and began swaying slowly to the music. I held him close, my head resting against his massive chest, and just relished the feel of his body against mine. I closed my eyes and breathed him in, not once feeling self-conscious about my dancing abilities.

It didn't take long for that position to get old. Jacob was just too tall. We hadn't had much experience with dancing together, unless you counted the Halloween party, which I didn't. The kind of bumping and grinding we got down to that night could _not_ be considered dancing. So, I pulled away from Jacob's embrace, earning a disgruntled moan. I turned to the nearest table and pulled out an empty chair and dragged it right up to my giant of a boyfriend. I climbed on and held my arms out to Jacob who gladly took his place back within my embrace.

He laughed and asked, "What's with the chair, Bells? You couldn't keep up with me?"

"Oh, I can keep up with you, Jake. I just wanted to get closer. Your chest is hot. Don't get me wrong. But, I like wrapping my arms around your shoulders, and getting closer to that mouth of yours."

His nostrils flared and his eyes dilated. I felt his arousal stiffen near my thigh. "I have _got_ to get you alone tonight."

"Hmm," I replied flirtatiously. "Maybe that can be arranged. How about we take a walk along the beach once the party's over?"

"Oh, okay. Since we'll technically be in public, I promise I won't try anything." He crossed his heart in gesture of his good faith.

I licked my lower lip and then gently bit it, fully aware of how that drove him crazy. "Who says I don't want you to try anything?" I asked.

He moaned and pressed me up against his body. His hands were hot on my hips. He leaned in for a sensuous, wet kiss that had my toes curling in my shoes. My tongue snaked out, delving into the warm flesh of his mouth. My hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, and closer; never close enough.

Finally we came up for air and I felt like I had just run a marathon. My cheeks were flushed, my heart was racing, and I was panting for air. When I pulled back to look into Jacob's eyes, I saw the most adorable, distant gaze reflected back. It was nice to know that I affected him just as much as he affected me. And that's when I realized that we weren't alone in his room, but on a dance floor at a wedding with all of our friends and family…and CHARLIE!

I panicked and looked around only to find that no one was really paying attention to us at all. Sue and Charlie were dancing on the other side of the room. They only had eyes for one another. They were laughing and smiling as though they had no other cares in the world. Quil and Claire were nearby, but they were in their own world as well. It was actually quite sweet. Claire was standing on Quil's feet as he danced around, making a fool of himself just to hear her laugh. Seth was off to the side chatting with Leah and Jack. The only one who seemed to notice our intense make-out session was Embry who flashed me a wicked grin and gave me the thumbs up.

Jacob followed my gaze then pulled me close again. "See Bells," he whispered against my ear. Chills ran down my arms when his hot breath against my neck. "No one cares. I could have my hands on your hot ass all night and no one would even notice. Love is in the air, honey."

I laughed and relaxed into his hold. "That's cheesy, Jake. And I don't care if no one notices. You better keep your hands off my _ass_ while we're here. I mean it, mister."

"Yes Ma'am," he saluted me.

We danced throughout that song and the next one. Since they were both slow, I was okay just standing on the chair, happy to be looking directly into Jacob's eyes. Every minute or so he'd whisper suggestive ideas about what he planned on doing with me once he got me to the beach. I hated the fact that I was in a room full of werewolves, because I knew that they would have to be able to smell my arousal. Hell, I knew Jacob could tell. I think that's why he tortured me so much, it brought the scent of my arousal out even more. But, then again, we were at a wedding. I probably wasn't the only female there feeling the effects of wedding bliss.

All of a sudden, a fast, upbeat song started playing. Jacob picked me up and set me back on the ground in an attempt to get me to continue dancing with him. "Oh no," I said, pushing him gently away. "You wanted one dance and I gave you two. Besides, I just don't have enough rhythm for this kind of music."

Jacob gave me the sexiest, panty-dropping grin I'd ever seen and whispered, "Oh, I beg to differ, honey."

It felt like someone had turned up the thermostat, because all of a sudden I was sweating. Jacob knew exactly what he was doing. I couldn't say I blamed him. I wanted him just as badly as he so clearly wanted me. The tent in his slacks was a testament to that. But, I didn't want to be known as the girl who got laid in the bathroom during Sam and Emily's wedding reception. Jacob would just have to wait. Even if it killed him, or both of us for that matter.

His hands were on my hips, pushing and pulling, guiding my body to the faster beat. He was a wonderful dancer, all grace and finesse. His eyes stayed locked on mine the whole time. I knew there was only one other thing that would distract him long enough for me to catch my breath so I wouldn't look like an animal in heat. "Uh, Jake? Aren't they about to serve cake soon?"

"Cake? Out of my way, woman!" And with that, he gave me a soft kiss on the forehead, swatted me playfully on the rear. I gasped in surprise and tried to smack his hand away, but he side-stepped me too quickly and was gone in a flash heading towards the dessert table. I shook my head and returned the chair I'd been using to its proper table and headed outside for some fresh air.

I walked out of the hall and into the adjoining lounge area on my way towards the main exit. The lounge was dark and quiet, though I could still hear the sound of muffled music through the closed doors. I had just passed a darkened hallway that led to the restrooms when a strong arm wrapped around my waist from behind and dragged me back into the dark corridor.

I didn't scream. I knew the moment his arm touched me that it was Jacob. In one swift move he spun me around to face him and pressed my back up against the wall. His eyes were dark with desire and his manly, musky scent made my head spin. His hands were pressed against the wall, on either side of my head, and his body served as a cage, holding me prisoner within his embrace. My heart raced and I was breathless. This was the dominant, playful Jacob that I loved so much. I just wasn't sure what I had done to make this side of him come out in such a public setting. To say I was turned on was an understatement.

When he spoke, his voice was husky and laced with need. "They aren't serving cake yet, you little liar."

Huh? What? I didn't even know what he was talking about. He had my mind so clouded with lust that I didn't know what the hell was going on. The feel of his body against mine left me breathless.

He crouched in front of me with that gorgeous smirk on his face and placed his hands on my calves. His warm hands slid slowly up my body as he rose from his crouched position. His movements were slow and torturous, sending lightening bursts throughout my nerve endings. His eyes never left mine and I was stunned, transfixed by the amount of love and desire within their depths. When his hands got to the backs of my thighs, underneath my dress, I moaned aloud, unable to hide how he made me feel. Seemingly pleased by my reaction, his hands moved up to my rear, cupping my ass. He kept his hands there, kneading and squeezing my soft flesh as he easily picked me up, wrapping my legs around his waist, and pushing me more firmly into the wall.

His arousal was pressed directly up against my core, and I couldn't help but wriggle wantonly in an attempt to get the desired friction he so teasingly withheld. His tongue licked and probed my neck until he slowly bit my earlobe, sucking the skin into his mouth.

"Jake…"

I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer, willing him to continue. But, after a few more passes with his tongue he quickly pulled back and focused his dark eyes on mine.

"Now, why would you want to get rid of me, Bells?"

He smiled when I looked clueless. "The cake?" he prompted.

"Oh…I…I didn't. I just wanted to get some fresh air. You were making me so…on the dance floor, when we were…I mean…I wanted to do things to…uh…I don't remember anymore."

He kissed me hard, forcefully, unapologetically. He sucked my lower lip between his teeth and gently nipped it all the while rocking his hips rhythmically between my legs. I moaned at the sensations he brought out in me, not caring that we were in a corridor that anyone could walk into at any moment.

Jacob broke the kiss, smiling wickedly and said, "So, are you saying I got you hot?"

"Mmm hmm," was the only response I could manage.

His nostrils flared. "Are you saying that you're wet for me?"

Well, if I wasn't before, I was sure there was a pool of my honeyed heat between my thighs the moment he said that. The pleasurable tension and been growing and building. I almost climaxed on the spot when his hand traveled down under my dress, and his fingers brushed underneath my panties, stroking my slick folds. I gasped. And, this time he was the one moaning.

"God, Bells. I want you so fucking bad right now."

He kissed me again and this time my fingers tangled in his hair, holding his mouth in place so that I could get my fill of his soft, hungry lips and his delicious taste. My mind was gone. If he wanted to take me right there in that hallway, I was going to let him. I was powerless to resist him and he knew it.

"But, I can't," he whispered.

"What? Why?" I croaked, breathless and bewildered. I tried very hard to get my dazed eyes to focus on his.

"Because," he moaned with mock sincerity. "_Now_, they're serving cake."

He set me down on the floor, gave me his patented Jacob smile, licked his fingers suggestively and mouthed the word, "Tonight," before turning around and walking back into the hall. I staggered back against the wall, my chest heaving, wondering what the hell had just happened.

I straightened my dress and fixed my hair trying to compose myself. My lips were swollen from his fevered kisses and my panties were soaked through. So, I knew that it had really happened. It wasn't just a fantasy. But, damn him for leaving me hanging. I was stuck between feeling so turned on and being so angry with him I didn't know which way was up. Tonight is right, I thought. Two could play this game. And, as soon as I got a handle on myself, I'd start devising my revenge. With a calming breath, I finally headed outside on wobbly legs.

The early evening air was chilly and crisp. I tucked my wrap more firmly around my body to ward off the cold. I walked out towards a garden on the side of the Council Center. I saw it when we arrived for the ceremony and knew there were some benches set amongst the spring blooms. The garden also looked out towards the dark forest. I figured it would be a nice place to sit and relax. Jacob had left me so hot and bothered that if I didn't calm down I was going to spontaneously combust. I took long, calming breaths, but to no avail. The moment I tried to relax, images of Jacob, pressing me against that wall, teasing my aching core instantly popped into my mind. My heart couldn't take the illicit torment. He had set me on fire and then left me burning. I was on edge, fidgety, counting the minutes and seconds until I could have my way with him and find my release. Damn him and his effect on me.

I focused on the flowers in the garden, hoping their beautiful colors and fresh scents would distract me. I breathed them in eagerly and that's when I realized I wasn't the only one who thought hanging out in the garden would be a good idea.

There was a crowd of people sitting around the fountain built into the middle of the garden. They were laughing and drinking, having and all around good time. I'd never seen any of them before so I assumed they were Emily's friends or family from her home town. A few people noticed my presence and sent me a friendly nod and smile, which I returned politely.

Off to the side, Jack and Leah were sitting on a secluded bench laughing and nuzzling like the young lovers they were. I was about to turn tail and leave, not wanting to intrude on their private moment when Jack called out to me, halting my retreat.

"Hey Bella. Where do you think you're going? Get that fine ass over here!"

I blushed when the crowd of Emily's friends all turned their attention on me thanks to Jack's outburst. I made my way over to the happy couple shaking my head and thinking that only Jack could get away with saying something like that to me. I knew he didn't mean anything by it. That's just the way he was. But, if Jacob was ever annoyed with the things Jack said to me, he wouldn't just have to deal with him, he'd have to deal with Leah too. Hence, Jack got away with pretty much anything. Of course, as I approached them, Leah slugged Jack in the arm to let him know she wasn't all that excited for the way he addressed me. I couldn't help but laugh at his reaction.

"Ouch, relax, woman! You know you're my one and only. Bella's just fun to mess with." He stood up from his seat and swept me into his arms for a big hug. His happy disposition was contagious. He reminded me so much of Jacob that I couldn't believe that Leah never saw it. Knowing her, she saw it alright. She just refused to acknowledge it. It would've been weird for her to admit that she was with someone so like Jacob, someone she thought of as a brother.

Jack took one look at my frazzled appearance and immediately called me out on it. "Wow, you look flushed. Are you okay?" He smirked with false sincerity.

Leah chimed in, "Yeah, Bella. Been in any coat closets with Jacob lately?"

I glared at Leah who just rolled her eyes. Jack chuckled conspiratorially and asked, "So, where _is_ Jacob? I figured since you two got back together again you wouldn't be able to keep him off of you."

I frowned, still annoyed with the flustered state in which Jacob had left me. "Oh, I'm sure he's staking a claim at the dessert table right about now."

Jack rubbed his stomach. "They're serving dessert already? I'm on it. Babe," he looked towards Leah. "Do you need anything?"

Leah just smiled and raised her full glass and said, "Nah, I'm good."

"What about you, Bella?" he asked. "Do you need anything?"

"No, thanks," I answered. Jack walked back towards the hall leaving Leah and I to laugh at his exuberance.

"So," Leah began. "What brings you outside? Was the love fest too much for you?"

"Come one, Leah. It was a beautiful wedding and you know it. Besides, I saw you get teary-eyed and I know for a fact that they were happy tears."

She growled at me, clearly annoyed that I saw through her mask. "If you ever breathe a word of that to _anyone_, you'll pay."

I tried my best not to smile. Leah was so used to being menacing and intimidating to get her way that she didn't even realize she'd lost her edge. Sure, if it came down to a fight, I knew that she was still a force to be reckoned with. But, when it came to the harmless intimidation of her friends, she was more bark than bite.

"Sure, sure, Leah. Don't worry. I won't tell anyone that you're a human being under all that harsh veneer. God forbid they might actually get to know the real you."

"I know, right?" She laughed and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"So, Jack's pretty wonderful, isn't he?"

Leah took a long sip from her drink and nodded. "Yes, he is."

"I've never seen you happier."

"That's because I've never been this happy."

We stood in silence for a while, just admiring the flower beds. "Tell me the truth, Leah. How hard was this for you?" I wanted her to know that I was there for her, regardless of how she was really feeling.

"Well," she paused, thinking about it for a minute. "Honestly, it wasn't hard at all. Okay, yeah a part of me will always be bitter towards them. I mean, I was dumped by my first love, and dumped hard. You know what I'm talking about, right?"

I glared at her for bringing up my past with Edward when I was trying to have a serious conversation with her. She chuckled at my angry stare. I realized I probably just looked like an angry puppy to her.

"Alright, sorry. That was mean." She watched me for my reaction, waiting to see if I was still angry.

"Whatever," I said. "What were you saying?"

"I was saying that watching the man I once thought I was going to marry, take vows with my cousin wasn't all that hard. I've already gone through the pain. I lost him the day he imprinted on her. I couldn't compete with that magic crap. And, the sad thing is, I _know_ he still loves me. If it hadn't been for the imprint, it would have been me up there today. I should have known he was too weak to resist something like that. He didn't even try. It was pathetic. But fuck it. I have Jack now. He helped me learn how to trust again."

She took a long sip from her glass. "You know what stings the worst? The worst part is that he didn't just abandon me, taking my hopes and dreams with him. No, the worst part is that he forever damaged my relationship with Emily. She would've been the person I came to with my heart break. But, he took her too without once considering how that would hurt me. Do you think I would've ended up so bitter if he would've imprinted on some nameless girl? Not a chance. So yeah, I'd be lying if I said I didn't still care; about both of them really. But, as far as I'm concerned the two of them can go fuck themselves."

She raised her glass to me before taking another sip. I felt for her. I understood what she went through, more than I ever knew. When Edward left, he took Alice with him, who at the time was my only true friend. He broke my heart and took away the only person I could seek comfort in, all in one fell swoop. I wanted to say something, anything to let her know that I understood. But, I didn't get the chance.

As Leah drained her glass, one of Emily's friends accidentally bumped into her on his way back into the hall. Her drink spilled down her chin and onto the front of her dress.

"Jesus Christ!" she yelled angrily. "Watch where you're going brain trust!"

The guy handed her a napkin, which she grabbed and immediately started to dab the moisture off of the dress. She didn't even look at the guy, but I could tell he looked sincerely apologetic.

"I'm so sorry. I…I wasn't watching where I was going…"

"Obviously," she retorted. She looked down and sighed, "Well, this is ruined."

"Oh my God. I'm so sorry. Let me buy you a new one. Please, I…"

Leah finally took a look at the guy, ostensibly to give him a piece of her mind. But, as soon as she locked eyes on him, she seemed to have choked on the words. Leah wasn't one to back down from a confrontation, even if it was one-sided. It went against her very nature. She just stood there and stared. The guy noticed the intensity of her gaze and fumbled with his own words. "Uh, this is going to sound weird but, don't I know you?"

I looked at Leah who remained mute, her eyes widened in what I could only imagine was a mixture of surprise and fear.

"I do know you," he continued, unfazed. "You're Emily's cousin. Leah, right? My mom and her mom are best friends. Emily and I practically grew up together. I remember seeing you around. I'm Patrick, remember? How's it going? You know, apart from the fact that I just ruined your dress."

He smiled good-naturedly and I could tell that he was a nice guy. But, Leah was struck dumb. Her body started to vibrate, almost as though she was on the verge of phasing. Her eyes remained glued to Patrick's, penetrating and probing into his very soul. I knew I needed to distract Patrick, so I introduced myself.

"Hi Patrick, I'm Bella. I'm a friend of Leah's and of Emily." He took my offered hand and shook it.

"It's nice to meet you, Bella." Then he turned back towards Leah, clearly unsettled by her odd behavior.

"Look, Leah, I really am sorry about the dress. But, you know I'm good for it." He reached into his pocket and retrieved his wallet. "Here let me give you my card. Just call me and let me know how much a new one will cost and I'll…"

"No, not now. _No!_" Leah's voice was a ghostly whisper and it took both me and Patrick by surprise. Her glass fell to the ground and shattered into tiny pieces. Leah didn't say another word and took off running towards the forest.

Patrick looked at me and asked worriedly, "What did I say?"

But, I ignored him because a sudden fear had seized me. I looked at Patrick and then took off after Leah. She was fast, but she wasn't running at her full speed. She was unsteady on her feet, distracted and it slowed her down. My wrap fell to the ground and was forgotten as I chased after her, sweat curling and frizzing the hair framing my face.

I finally caught up to her at the edge of the forest. Her body was slumped against a tree and her back was towards me. She had taken us behind the Council Center, out of sight of both Patrick and the curious eyes of other guests. I was breathless and gasping for air. I bent over with my hands on my knees, desperately trying to catch my breath.

"Leah," I panted. "What's wrong…why are you running?"

I thought I knew the answer, but I couldn't be sure. Maybe I was overreacting to what I saw. Maybe she and Patrick had a thing once and she was embarrassed to see him again. But, my gut told me that Leah wasn't scared of things like that. No, something had happened; something that made running away the safer alternative, something that would destroy her happiness.

I wasn't prepared for the look of utter helplessness in Leah's eyes when she turned her gaze towards me. I stood up straight and nearly staggered back under the weight of the pain that was threatening to crush her.

"Leah," I began tentatively, afraid of the haunted empty eyes that bore directly into my very soul. She looked at me as though she just realized I was there. With tears in her eyes she said, "I…I don't know what to do. I…can't…"

"Leah, please," I implored, tears streaming down my face as I waited for my own fears to be confirmed.

"I…_imprinted_," she spat breathlessly.

Leah then tore off into the trees; leaping and phasing in mid-air sending her tattered clothes to the forest floor. She disappeared in a flash and all that remained was the echo of her mournful howl.

**A/N: So, you guys got another update in TWO WEEKS! How crazy is that? I can't explain it. I was just really inspired after my last chapter and I got to work on this one immediately. Think of it as my thank you to all of you for being so patient with my slow updates recently.**

**Of course, this chapter would not have been possible without the help from my awesome betas. Neha, you're the absolute best. Your help with this chapter was priceless. I'm so grateful for your attention to detail and just for you being a friend. Thank you sooooooo much! And, of course, I can't forget Christine who helps me see the big picture and inspires ideas for future chapters and the story as a whole. Their input is a big reason this chapter got out so quickly.**

**And finally, to all of you who read and **_**don't**_** review…I wish you would leave a little note to tell me what you think of this story. I know that there are a ton of you who are reading. I'd love to hear what you have to say. As my reviewers can attest to, I take the time to personally respond to each and every review, PM, or email sent to me. So, once you finish reading…please leave a review. It would mean a lot to me. **

**So, until next time…Erin. **


	38. Chapter 38

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do not. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: As always, I'd like to thank everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. Your feedback really means so much to me. I appreciate all the kind words and support. I'd also like to thank those who review anonymously like: Ayme, Bnick, niamh, SparkleSista, Smmoches24, Tima, mrs. Jacob black 143, DJTannerTheFullHouse, Paola, Synne Larsen, Flashahh, Kats Flower Girls, Jesss, Mia, gianna, Lu Lu-Chian25, LINDA, vila and Barbara. Anyway, onto the chapter. Make sure you read the A/N at the end…**

**CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT**

I was frozen still, not knowing what I should do. Leah had just imprinted on Patrick. I was devastated for her. She'd already been on the receiving end of this situation. And now, after all the anger and bitterness she'd directed towards Sam, she was going to do the same thing to Jack. The irony was crippling. Could this girl ever be happy?

It was cruel. It wasn't fair. No one person should be forced to go through so much in such a short life. Leah and Jack were in love. They were _made_ for each other. I'd seen it from the very beginning in that bookstore. The imprint had got it wrong. That was the only explanation. How could this strange, wolf magic, (for lack of a better word) choose Patrick as Leah's mate when I knew how perfect Jack and Leah were together?

I thanked my lucky stars every day that imprinting was a moot point between Jacob and me. He was already in love with me when it happened. And, though I didn't feel the same at the time, I knew that I needed him in my life more than anything. I was grateful to Jacob that he kept his imprinting a secret. I was given the choice to freely allow my heart to grow, heal and change. I had the freedom to fall in love with him. I couldn't imagine having my will stripped from me so suddenly and so completely. I couldn't imagine being in Leah's position. I didn't think I could bear it.

I composed myself and realized that I needed to find Jake immediately. After all, he was Leah's Alpha. He needed to know that one of his wolves had just gone AWOL. But more importantly, he needed to know that he was probably the only person who had a chance of getting through to her.

I turned my back on the forest and the pile of shredded clothes Leah left behind. And that's when I saw Jacob running across the grass making his way towards me, his face worried and his eyes filled with concern. He paused and stopped to pick up the wrap I had dropped and the next thing I knew, I was locked in his strong embrace while he planted frantic kisses all over my face.

"You're shivering," he said, as he placed me back on my feet. He draped my wrap around my shoulders and vigorously rubbed my arms, lending me his warmth. I wasn't sure if I was shivering from the cold or from the shock of what I had just witnessed. Either way, I savored his touch.

"Bells, what's going on? I heard Leah howling and I almost had a heart attack thinking something had happened to you." He gave me a thorough once over to assess my body for possible injuries. He scanned the forest behind me, his eyes narrowing in anger. "Where the hell is she? Why would she leave you alone like that?" he muttered under his breath.

"Jake, it's not like that…" I heaved a calming breath before continuing. "Leah just imprinted on one of Emily's friends from home. She freaked out and took off. I'm worried about her."

Jacob's eyes widened in shock and he muttered curses under his breath. "Okay," he said, suddenly springing to action. He led me behind the cover of a large tree and said, "I'm going after her."

"Why?" I asked incredulously. "Can't you just phase and order her to come back?"

"Yeah," he considered thoughtfully. "That's probably the easiest thing to do. But, you know I don't want to use my Alpha influence unless I absolutely have to. If she ran, then she has a reason for it. I'd rather just talk to her first and see where she stands."

"I know you're right," I admitted. "I shouldn't have even suggested that. Just make sure she's alright, okay?"

"You know I will." He started to undress.

"Wait, what should I do? Should I try to find Jack; tell him what happened?"

Jacob stood there left in nothing but his boxers, and thought about that idea. As he slipped off his last vestige of clothing he shook his head, "I don't know, honey. I mean, do you think it's really our place? Shouldn't that be something Leah tells him herself?"

"Yeah, it is," I agreed. "But what if she doesn't come back? We can't just leave him hanging. We're going to have to tell him something."

He sighed. "Well, I guess we'll just cross that bridge when we get to it. So you should just stay right here, behind this tree and out of sight until I get back. I don't want any of the guys to come out and see you. I want to keep this whole imprinting things under wraps if we can. I'm sure that's what Leah would want, don't you think?"

I nodded in agreement. He stood before me, tall, proud and naked. And yet, my heart was too consumed with Leah's pain to feel any desire. Gone was the teasing playfulness he displayed in that secluded corridor of the reception hall. My Jacob was the Alpha of his pack and he needed to find his rogue wolf. His eyes were filled with a steely focus that inspired in me the strength I needed to be there for my friends, come what may.

"I'll be back as soon as I can, Bells. Whatever happens, it's going to be alright, okay?"

"Yeah, I know." I said the words, but I didn't really believe them. And from the look that flashed in Jacob's eyes, I knew he didn't believe them either. He bent down and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. He gave my hand a squeeze and then took off running into the forest. The next thing I saw was the hind quarters of my russet wolf disappearing into the trees.

I sighed deeply and paced around for a while, not quite knowing what to do with myself. I was helpless in this situation. I wanted desperately to help my friend, but I didn't think there was anything I could do. I was probably the last person she'd want to see. I was in an imprinted relationship. I represented everything she was running away from. As persistent and stubborn as Jacob could be, I knew he wouldn't use his Alpha authority over Leah in this situation. If she didn't want to come home, she wouldn't. I knew Jacob. If he felt it was for the good of the Pack, he would do it. But, he was more concerned about the welfare of the individual, of his friend. So, I knew deep down in my heart that he would be coming back to me alone. I just hoped that he convinced Leah that despite everything, we were still here to support her.

I stayed hidden within the tree line just as Jacob had asked me to. The last thing I wanted to do was have to explain the situation to the Pack when they were supposed to be celebrating and having a good time. Besides, Jacob was right. Leah wouldn't want her personal drama to be fodder for Pack gossip. I paced back and forth and nearly tripped on Jacob's discarded shoes. I snickered, for once grateful for Jacob's slob-like tendencies. At least in this case, it gave me something to do while I waited. I gathered his clothes into a neat pile. I meticulously folded and re-folded every item including his socks hoping that the chore would help kill some time. But time just stood still. It felt like only a minute had passed. The anxiety was killing me and my nerves were frayed.

I groaned aloud, frustrated with waiting and not having anything to fill the void but worry. My feet were aching from walking back and forth aimlessly. All the walking was literally getting me nowhere, so I finally settled down on the ground and leaned back against a tree. I could literally hear Alice's disapproving voice in my head. If she were there, she'd give me a mouthful about the grass stains I was sure to get on my brand-new dress. But, I couldn't possibly care about something so frivolous. None of that seemed important in comparison to what Leah was going through.

I nervously picked at the grass by my side as the minutes dragged by. I wondered what I would say to her. If she came home, I added ruefully. I thought about Sam and Emily. For a relationship that began solely because of an imprint, I'd say they were a near perfect couple. They were devoted to each other and complemented each other in every way. Kim and Jared, even Rachel and Paul all were examples of couples who were made for each other. Jared and Paul had truly found their soul mates in Kim and Rachel. They were better men because of those women.

But, I couldn't help thinking that Jacob and I were slightly different. For the most part, he made _me_ a better person. I had been so lost and confused when I wedged myself into his life after Edward left me. I needed a friend. I needed hope. He gave me everything, and that was before his world turned upside down and he imprinted on me. In retrospect, it was a form of a symbiotic relationship. Jacob helped me find myself and convinced me that my heart could love again. And I helped him see that despite his fate or destiny, he was still the same person he always was. I kept him grounded. And that's the kind of relationship Leah had with Jack. But, who knew? Maybe Patrick really _was_ made for Leah. Maybe she still lacked something that would bring complete fulfillment to her life.

God, just thinking about Patrick felt like a betrayal to Jack. How could I so quickly replace him? Had he not been a good friend to me too? _He_ made Leah a better person. They loved each other unconditionally. Jack accepted Leah for everything she was. He admired her strength and he never backed down from her anger. They complemented each other; challenged each other. Leah hated imprinting, having been its first victim. She didn't see imprinting as love. How could it be? How could one claim to love someone after just one look? That was lust, not love, as far as she was concerned. Rather, she saw imprinting as two people being enslaved to a mindless pull that had everything to do with making more wolf pups and nothing to do with the heart or soul.

Who was I to say that she was wrong? I was lucky enough to have a unique experience with imprinting, one that was vastly different from all the other couples. Our relationship was based on an already well established foundation. And considering what Leah had to go through, I couldn't exactly blame her for how she felt. What it really came down to, as far as she was concerned, was allowing the wolf control. And, Leah didn't want to be controlled. She wanted to be able to make her own choices in life, based on what she felt, not what some crazy wolf gene compelled her to do. I couldn't exactly blame her for wanting freedom.

After everything Sam put her through, Leah wasn't exactly a trusting person. When she met Jack, she withheld a large part of herself from him. But, when she finally felt comfortable with him, she fell and she fell hard. Leah loved Jack with all her heart. There was no way that she'd be able to live with herself knowing that she caused him the same pain that Sam had inflicted on her. But, what else could she do? The pull of the imprint was inevitable. Hell, I had tried to fight it and failed, though I didn't know what I was fighting at the time. Then again, I had been fighting my true feelings and lying to myself all along about just how much Jacob meant to me, even before the imprint. So, it wasn't surprising to see that the fight had proved futile. But, Patrick _wasn't_ Jacob. He and Leah weren't best friends. They didn't share an irrevocable bond beyond the imprint itself. They were relatively strangers. But, despite all that, she'd still be pulled into Patrick's orbit like an unwilling slave. And she'd be helpless against it. It just didn't seem fair.

I was angry and frustrated. I never realized just how lucky Jacob and I had been. We had dealt with so much drama that it was sometimes hard to look at the positive side of things. Despite the ups and downs, the confusion and all the misunderstandings, I wouldn't have traded places with anyone. I had fallen in love with Jacob slowly, and over time. Yes, he was persistent, but not because he wanted to make me love him, he already knew I did. He had other factors to deal with, like saving me from an eternity of ice and blood. I was drawn to his love and faith in me. There weren't any strings tying us down together. The commitment we had transcended traditional imprinting, because it was rooted in so much more.

I was startled out of my thoughts by the sound of yelling coming from the direction of the garden. I crouched behind the tree and peaked out to find Jack calling out, looking for me and Leah. I felt horrible for hiding, like I was some kind of criminal. But, in all reality, it was the situation that was criminal. Jack was a good person. And the news that Leah had imprinted was going to devastate him. I had experienced my share of heartache and I didn't wish it on anyone. After a while he gave up and shrugged, heading back into the reception hall. I noticed that the parking lot had cleared up some and that dusk was fast approaching.

I was distracted, wondering just how much time had passed since Jacob had left when I turned around and nearly jumped out of my skin with fright. Jacob, still in wolf form, was lying on his belly, tongue lolled out and hanging to the side, watching me curiously. One ear was pointed up while the other flopped down. He looked as though he'd been watching me for a while. I wanted to slap him, yell at him; do something for scaring me like that. But then I looked into his eyes, those deep dark pools that conveyed so much with a simple glance. I saw so much love and pain reflected back at me in those fathomless orbs housed in that giant, furry body. I couldn't find it in my heart to be angry with him for scaring me. I launched myself against his prone body and wrapped my arms around his massive neck.

"Oh Jake," I sighed, nuzzling his soft fur. I inhaled deeply, luxuriating in his natural, woodsy scent that was always so comforting. I grabbed tufts of his fur on either side of his face and tugged hard. I knew it wouldn't hurt him, but I wanted to drive my point home.

"You shouldn't sneak up on me like that!" He huffed at me and I could swear his mouth fell open into his trademark grin. His huge tongue then licked me from the base of my neck all the way up the side of my face. "Eww, Jake! Why do you always have to lick me? That's gross."

The next think I knew, the wolf was gone. I found myself sitting on the lap of a very naked Jacob. A cocky grin was plastered across his face when he said, "That's not what you usually say."

A fevered burn spread throughout my body at the sound of his suggestive tone. My precarious position, nearly on top of his arousal, only heightened my desire. But, we both knew that wasn't the time or the place for that. I closed my eyes for a moment, breathing deeply, and composed myself.

"Jake," I sighed breathlessly. "We can't…"

"I know," he said. His grin quickly faded. He kissed me sweetly and stood up, lifting me effortlessly in his arms. He set me back on my feet while he dressed quickly.

"Well," I began tentatively. "You found her, right? How is she? Did she go home?"

"I let her go," he said with no preamble.

"What do you mean you let her go? Where is she going? Is she coming back? What about…?"

"Bells, honey," he grabbed me gently by the arms. "She needs time to work through this. She's a complete mess right now."

"But she can't just run away. How's that supposed to solve anything?" I should know. Jacob and I had both done our share of running and it never did any good. I couldn't believe that he supported the idea.

"It's not like she's running away. She's coming back…eventually…when she's dealt with this. Honey, you didn't see what was going on in her mind. She's disgusted with herself. She hates what she's become."

"So why didn't you just ordered her to come home?"

He held me close. "It's not like I didn't think about it, believe me. It's just that she's being pulled in different directions. If I would have ordered her to come home it would've broken her."

I chewed worriedly on my lower lip, trying to come up with something, anything that might help Leah. But, I was at a complete loss. "So what's she going to do? Where is she going to go?" I knew she could take care of herself under normal circumstances. But, clearly that's not what we were dealing with. I didn't know how she was going to cope with the trauma.

"I'm not sure, Bells. She didn't say much. I mean, yeah, we were phased, but it's like all of her thoughts and feelings were all jumbled together. I couldn't make sense of most of it. But, I'd say that she's going to keep running. She's going to run until the pain in her limbs is the only thing she can think about. When she finally stops, she's going to have a whole lot of pent up feelings to deal with. It's going to be painful and it's going to be ugly. But, she needs to do this on her own. We can't help her through this. All we can do is be there for her when she gets back."

"So, what do we do about Jack? He was outside a while ago looking for her. We can't just avoid him. They live together for crying out loud. I think he's going to notice that she's not coming home with him tonight."

"We tell him that she's busy doing something for the Pack," he suggested.

"Jake, that's pretty vague. I don't think he's going to buy it."

"Well, we'll see about that. Just let me do the talking. God knows you're not a good liar."

"Thanks," I grumbled.

There was nothing left to say. Jacob took my hand, scooped down to pick up his shoes and socks, then led me out of the trees back towards the reception hall.

The sky had darkened considerably while we had talked. Luckily, the Council Center was well lit and guided my way, not that Jacob would have let me stumble. We got back to the garden just as Jack was walking out of the hall.

"There you are," he said. "I've been looking all over for…" He paused as a wicked grin spread across his face. His eyes traveled over both of us, taking in our mussed appearance. I looked down at the grass stains on my dress and to Jacob's practically opened shirt with his shoes in hand. It was clear from the twinkle in Jack's eyes that he assumed we'd been up for a little "private time" off in the woods. If only that were true, I thought dismally.

Jack reached up into my hair and quickly pulled out a small twig. With a wink he tossed it to the ground and said, "Nice!"

I groaned, not out of embarrassment, but because I saw that happy, mischievous glint in his eyes. I was getting nervous. Jack was a smart guy. I knew Jacob could be convincing, but I just didn't think that Jack would buy our cover story. He was bound to ask questions and I knew the answers would break his heart.

"So, I think it's safe to assume you guys don't know where my girl is, do you?" My heart melted at "my girl." It wasn't true anymore. Leah's heart, mind and soul belonged to another. Jack couldn't have loved Leah any better, and yet fate or destiny had intervened. Again, I was overwhelmed with how unfair the whole thing was. The victims of imprinting were slowly piling up along the roadside.

Jack looked beyond us into the forest and then surveyed the remaining area with his sharp eyes. "It's so weird. It's like she disappeared or something," he mumbled almost to himself. Concern and worry clouded his normally carefree attitude.

Jacob and I looked at each other, silently agreeing that it was now or never. "Yeah, about that," Jacob began. "Leah actually…"

"…had to take off," I blurted out, unable to quell the anxiety flowing through me. Jake looked at me like I'd lost my mind, but I couldn't keep my trap shut. "Yeah," I added nervously. "She had to uh…she had some Pack business to attend to. Right, Jake?"

Jacob buried his face in his hand and sighed. Jack looked at us suspiciously and said, "Bella, you're a terrible liar. What the hell is going on? You're starting to freak me out here."

I looked to Jacob for help but he just frowned and whispered, "Why didn't you just let me explain? I told you I would do the talking."

"I know, I know," I moaned. "I panicked."

Jack was growing impatient. "Okay guys. This has been fun and all, but what's with the cryptic? Where's Leah?"

Jacob opened his mouth to explain, but again I couldn't control my own mouth. "Like I said, she had Pack stuff to do, you know, vampires and such. She'll probably be gone for a few days. You should probably just go home. She'll come see you when she's done."

Jacob shook his head and Jack turned his keen eyes on me. I felt like a deer caught in headlights. I was frozen, with nowhere to go.

"That's bullshit," Jack yelled. "I'm a little too old to be playing games, Bella. Now, tell me what the fuck is going on!"

Jacob stiffened, clearly not pleased with Jack's tone. I squeezed his hand to reassure him and to help him maintain his calm. Jack had every reason to react that way. He was worried about Leah and I was doing a terrible job of distracting him from the truth.

Jack seemed to think twice about his harsh words when he saw how feral and angry Jacob looked. He ran a hand through his hair and said, "Look, guys I'm sorry. But, you're clearly lying about something. I'm worried about Leah. I think I have a right to know what's going on."

"Jack, you're right. I'm sorry for lying to you, but we just didn't think we had the right to tell you…"

"Tell me what?"

I didn't know where to start. Jacob was no help because he was too focused on Jack and protecting me. "Jack, something happened earlier. Um…well…you know about imprinting, right?"

"Of course I do, Bella," Jack replied. "It's the reason we're at this wedding, isn't it?" He sounded annoyed.

"Yeah, it is." I said softly. That's when Jack's body stiffened, his face and eyes reflected pure agony. Jacob placed himself in front of me, always the protector, fearful of Jack's reaction.

Understanding seemed to wash over Jack, but I knew he needed to hear the words. He deserved to hear them. "Leah imprinted today. I'm so sorry." I felt like I was notifying the next of kin of a death in the family. But that's what it was, wasn't it? Imprinting meant the death of Jack and Leah. There was no other way around it.

Jack's legs gave out from under him and if it hadn't been for Jacob's lightning-fast reflexes, he would've fallen hard, knees first onto the concrete. Jacob caught him by the arms and eased him down onto the fountain's ledge. Jacob and I sat down on either side of him, doing our best to offer physical and emotional support.

Jack was silent for several minutes. It looked like he was in shock. His face was blank, pale and emotionless. He was frozen like a statue. Jacob and I occasionally shared quick glances, wondering what we should do. The silence was finally broken when Jack staggered to his feet.

"Well, I guess that's it then," he said pitifully. He started to walk away. Jacob and I sprang to our feet and followed after him. I grabbed Jack's arm. "What do you mean, that's it? I just told you that Leah imprinted on someone else, and you're just going to walk away? You're just going to let her go? I thought you loved her." I knew it was unfair of me to expect more from him under the circumstances. But, the finality of it all was just so overwhelming.

When Jack turned his gaze on me, I gasped at the darkness in his eyes. Imprinting had extinguished their light, just like I knew it would.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do, Bella?" He yelled angrily. He pulled his arm out of my grasp. Jacob growled warningly. I could see the fire in his eyes. Jack hadn't hurt me, but Jacob wasn't exactly thinking clearly when it came to me. He had given himself over to his instincts and his instincts told him to protect me, even if it meant ripping off Jack's head.

I placed my hand on Jacob's chest and he seemed to calm down immediately. I made him focus on my eyes and I nodded, reassuring him that I was okay. Jacob rolled his shoulders back in an attempt to relax. "Look, man," he said calmly. "I know you're upset, but you need to relax. I can't have you going postal around Bella. It doesn't exactly put me in a good mood." He narrowed his gaze at Jack and got in his face, driving his point home. Jack swallowed reflexively. Jacob could look very intimidating when he wanted to. Jack held out his hands in surrender and mumbled his apologies. When Jacob was convinced that Jack understood just how close he was to losing it, he continued in a softer, more compassionate tone. "Leah's a mess right now. She needed to take off to sort things out. This isn't easy for her either. She's devastated. Believe me. She didn't want this."

"No," Jack nodded, clearly more subdued once his own anger had subsided. "No, she didn't want this. But, it happened. And, she's not here now. I can't stand by and watch her live happily ever after with some other guy. I'd be stupid to sit around and wait for her to come back to me. That dream is dead now." He looked off into the distance, lost in thought. "I know how this works," he continued. "It'll be like we never existed."

I cringed at his choice of words. "That's not true, Jack." I looked to Jacob for support. "Tell him that's not true. Sam still loves Leah. The imprint couldn't erase that." Jacob merely frowned, his shoulders sagging in defeat.

"Yeah," Jack agreed. "She still loves me. Only now, it's not enough. I don't deserve that, and she shouldn't have to spend the rest of her life wracked with guilt for throwing her _new_ man in my face. I won't do that to her."

"This isn't right," I whispered to no one in particular. Jacob took my hand in an attempt to comfort me. But, I just couldn't be consoled. It just felt like it would be going against nature to keep Jack and Leah apart. What could possibly be written in the stars for Patrick and Leah that could trump that?

Jack sighed deeply and said, "Look, thanks for …telling me, okay? I…I knew what I was signing up for when I accepted the whole wolf thing. I've seen what an imprint does to people. I've see the way you two are." He nodded at us and I wanted so badly to tell him that Jacob and I weren't the norm. But, he kept talking and wouldn't let me interrupt.

"There's no way I can compete with that," he added. His voice was tinged with a mixture of pure agony and resolve. "I have to go." He was shrunken, literally half the man he'd been when he'd shown up that morning. Jack turned around, eyes pleading. "Oh, Jacob if…uh, if you see her, tell her she can have the apartment. I'll move out tomorrow. I guess…I guess I'll just crash at a friend's place."

Jacob nodded and offered Jack his hand. "I will. I know it doesn't mean anything right now, but I'm sorry."

Jack shook Jacob's offered hand and gave him a grim smile. "Thanks, man." Jack then walked up to me, picked me up in his arms and hugged me as if the world was ending. I mused darkly that that was exactly what it must feel like to him. I clung to him in an attempt to soothe him. I wanted so badly to take away his pain.

"Good-bye, Bella," he whispered in my ear. "Please, just…I don't know…" He released me from his embrace and held onto my hands like they were his final lifeline to the world. "Just, let me know if she's okay, alright? I know she doesn't need me anymore, but I can't help but worry about her. When she comes…if she comes back, please just let me know, okay?"

All I could do was nod in response. Jack squeezed my hands, smiled and then walked away. My body moved of its own accord and I started after him only to feel resistance in the form of two massive arms wrapping around my waist.

"Jake, what are you doing? I have to stop him. He needs to…I mean, I could…"

Jacob turned me around in his arms and held me. I gave in to his embrace, clinging to him, desperate for the comfort he offered. "There's no point, Bells," he whispered soothingly. "What's done is done. What could you possibly say to him to make this better?" I hated to admit it, but he had me there. There was nothing that I could say to Jack. He needed to deal with his loss on his own. We stood there for a while, lost in our own thoughts. Jacob held me close and said, "Come on. It's getting cold and I'm pretty sure Sue must be worried by now."

Jacob put on his shoes and socks and buttoned up his shirt in an effort to look more presentable. We walked into the hall and split up. He went to find Sue while I freshened up in the bathroom. I didn't want anyone to see my disheveled appearance on what was supposed to be a happy and joyous occasion. Jacob and I agreed that we'd keep the information about Leah on a need to know basis. He wanted to keep Leah's imprinting from the pack as long as possible. And, he certainly didn't want Sam involved at all if it could be avoided.

I splashed water on my face and tried to tame my hair. My dress was definitely ruined. No amount of cleaning was going to get the grass stains out of it. I glanced at my reflection and braced myself to face the rest of the evening, pretending that nothing was wrong. I stepped out of the bathroom confident that I looked somewhat presentable when I walked right into a brick wall. At least, it felt like a brick wall. Strong arms reached out to steady me, as I was on a collision course with the floor. I reached out reflexively, grabbing onto the strong arms for support. I looked up I saw that I had walked right into none other than Patrick.

I gasped in surprise. He looked down at me with a smile on his face. I hadn't paid him much attention when I first saw him out in the garden. But once I got up close and personal with him, I found that he was really very handsome. He was tall, but not as tall as Jack. His skin was smooth and almost olive colored. His cheek bones were well defined and led right up to his beautiful amber colored eyes. He had full, pouty lips, broad shoulders and what appeared to be a nicely defined chest. I couldn't help but think that he and Leah would make a beautiful couple. I cringed at my own thoughtless musings. There I was, one moment consumed by Jack's pain and in the next I'm picturing Leah and Patrick living happily ever after.

When I had steadied myself, Patrick released me from his hold and smiled at me. His smile was warm. "Hey, Bella, right?" he asked shyly. I opened my mouth but no words came out. I was speechless. Patrick was, for all intents and purposes, a nice guy. But, he had absolutely no idea what he had done today. He'd destroyed a perfectly happy relationship, and he didn't even have to try.

To his credit, Patrick wasn't put off by my silence. He chuckled and said, "Wow, I didn't realize I had this effect on women. First Leah and now you. I have to admit, this wedding's doing wonders for my ego, you know?" I was wide-eyed and speechless. He must have thought I was insane. He shook his head, still smiling and reached into his pocket to retrieve the business card he'd offered Leah out in the garden. I glanced at the card. It read, 'Patrick Lakewood, Consultant.' Of course, that could mean anything, but it definitely told me that not only was Patrick good looking with a nice personality, he was also successful.

"So," he began. "I was wondering…if you see Leah, would you mind giving this to her? I really am sorry about the dress. Emily tells me all the time that I never watch where I'm going." He laughed nervously and I took the card without looking at it.

"I didn't mean to ruin her day," he added, genuinely concerned. Yeah, I thought. That was an understatement.

"Well, uh…" he scratched his head. "I know this is so high school but, when you see her, let her know I'm single, okay? I always had a huge crush on her when we were kids." He chuckled. "She was always so mean to me too. But, what can I say? I loved the challenge. I can tell she hasn't lost that fire. I've got to say that I find it _very_ attractive." He didn't wait for my response. He just winked and left the party.

Stunned, I made my way into the reception hall. Emily's friends were cleaning up and the Bride and Groom were nowhere in sight. I felt bad for missing their farewell. It was supposed to be their day and it turned into so much more. There were maybe twenty or so people left, just milling about. I assumed that Sam and Emily must have left for the honeymoon already.

Charlie and Billy were cloistered together having an animated conversation. I passed them on my way towards Jacob who was sitting with Sue and Seth. Their faces were grave and I knew that Jacob had told them what had happened with Leah. As a tribal elder and member of the Council, I wasn't sure how Sue would react to the news that her daughter had imprinted. Tradition dictated that she should be happy, overjoyed that her daughter's wolf had finally found its mate. But, she was also a mother with a daughter whose life had been in turmoil thanks to an imprint. I was sure that she would feel just as conflicted.

I walked up to Jacob and placed my hand on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me onto his lap. I didn't even blush at such a public display of affection. After all, I knew there was nothing overtly sexual or even playful about the gesture. He simply wanted to touch and hold me. And, I relished the warmth and comfort he provided.

Sue and Seth both smiled warmly at my entrance, but their eyes were distant and I knew their thoughts were with the daughter and sister who had lost her way. We all sat together in silence, not knowing what to say and feeling as though nothing could be said.

Our trance was broken by the appearance of Charlie and Billy at the table. Seth excused himself while Sue put on a brave face. She told Charlie that she'd like to go home and they got up to leave. They talked briefly while Jacob gave Billy the Cliffs' Notes version of what had happened. The party was definitely ending so we all agreed it was time to go. Charlie said he was going to Sue's which meant that Jacob and I would have the house to ourselves. I had so many questions and concerns. I was glad that we'd have all night without interruptions from Charlie. Sue offered to drop Billy off at his place on her way home.

We said our solemn good-byes and Charlie's shrewd eyes didn't miss a beat. He knew something was up, but as long as Sue maintained an air of calm, he didn't want to be the one to upset the status quo.

"Night, Bells," he said as he led Sue out of the hall. "Oh, and don't worry. Sue will drop me off tomorrow…I mean _later_. She'll uh…just drop me off later."

I groaned at the thought of Charlie and Sue spending the night together. I knew instinctively that my face was as red as Charlie's. He high-tailed it out of the reception hall so fast that Sue nearly had to run to keep up with him. Jacob and Billy snickered and shared knowing looks. I was just grateful that Seth had already left and didn't have to hear that. That boy had been scarred enough as it was.

By the time we got back to my house, I was physically and emotionally exhausted. All I wanted to do was crash. The playfulness and sexual tension from earlier in the day was long forgotten. All I could think about were Leah's tears, Jack's crushed heart and Patrick's hopeful smile. Three lives had been irrevocably altered with just one look.

I changed into one of Jacob's t-shirts that I kept around for such occasions and crawled into bed. Jacob was already waiting for me with open arms. We didn't say anything. We just held each other. As my eyes slowly closed and sleep began to take me, the sky exploded in thunder and lightning. Heavy rain poured down against my window like a veil. My last thought before I drifted off to sleep was that the skies were weeping for Leah. Lightning flashed, thunder cracked and all the while a wolf unleashed its wailing howl in the distance.

The week following the wedding was our Spring Break. I had already written my required essays and was caught up on all my reading for my classes. The publishing house gave me the week off because the editor I worked for was going to be out of town. Liz went home to Seattle for the week and Angela was camping with her family. The Cullens were busy following a new lead about the vampire blocking Alice's visions. I stayed away thinking that I had enough wolf drama to deal with. I didn't want to be reminded of the vampires out for my blood. Needless to say, I spent my time off traveling between Forks and La Push. I wasn't in the mood to do anything other than just hang out with Jake. And, that's exactly what I did.

We didn't hear from Leah all week. When Friday rolled around, I began to really worry. Her absence was noticed immediately by the rest of the wolves and Jacob was forced to tell them what had happened. Some of them were ecstatic that Leah had imprinted. They hoped her new-found perspective on the matter would change her overall attitude. They argued that she'd be happier. Of course, that was strictly the opinion of Sam's pack. They didn't necessarily care about her happiness. They were more concerned with whether or not she'd be less of a bitch. Embry and Quil saw just how messed up the situation really was and promised Jacob they'd be on the look out for her in case she turned up on their patrols.

Jacob reassured me that I had nothing to worry about; that Leah could take care of herself. But, as each day passed with still no word, I knew he was getting nervous too. I was losing sleep with worry.

I called Jack a couple of times during the week, but all I ever got was his voicemail. It killed me to hear his bright, cheerful voice on the message when I knew that he was now a broken man. Everyone knew that he was good for Leah. But, what they didn't know was just how good Leah had been for him. Leah had told me once that Jack had never had any serious, meaningful relationships before her. Sure, he was experienced, but the relationship part never lasted. He'd never found anyone worth working for until he'd met Leah. My messages were short considering I had nothing new to report. But, I encouraged him to call me. I told him I was a great listener and that he was still my friend, no matter what happened. I had yet to hear back from him.

Jacob and I spent the entire day together that Friday. When he had to leave for patrol in the afternoon, I figured I'd use the time alone to take a nap and catch up on some much needed sleep. I had only meant to sleep for an hour or so but I awoke suddenly to find that the sun had long set and the moon was high in the sky. I looked around frantically trying to figure out what had startled me out of my restful sleep. And then I heard it, the soft tapping on the window pane. For a brief moment I was terrified that the Volturi had found me. Then I realized I was being ridiculous because the Volturi weren't the type to tap on my window. I sat up in bed and leaned towards the window, cautiously peering out into the blackness beyond. I sucked in a haggard breath when I saw the face staring back at me.

Leah stood outside the window, naked as the day she was born. Dirt was caked into her hair and her eyes looked wild and hungry. I threw open the window and she slowly, gingerly climbed inside. Her eyes scanned the room and she cocked her head in all directions like she was listening for something. Though in human form, she was acting just like a wolf would. I wondered if she even noticed.

I yanked the sheet off of the bed and wrapped it around her shoulders. "Leah, are you alright?" It was a stupid question. I knew that. But, I needed to know she was still in there somewhere. She seemed so distant; so lost. She remained mute, clutching the sheet around her naked body, only then did it seem to register how exposed she was. I had never seen her look more vulnerable. It was a vast departure from the hardened, gruff persona she hid behind whenever she was with the Pack. She was the lone female amidst a fraternity. She was an outsider by her very nature. She fought everyday for respect. She antagonized and fought so that she would never be seen as weak. And yet, there she was, bearing her soul for all to see. I was honored that she had come to me and I vowed that I prove worthy of the trust she had placed in me. "Well," I said trying to fill the void with mindless chatter. "Jake should be coming back any minute, now that he knows you're here, right?"

She shook her head. "No," her voice was a mere echo of the commanding tone it normally held. "He doesn't know I'm here. I walked here on my own two legs." She swallowed hard. It was clear that she was unused to speaking in a long while. "I didn't want anyone inside my head…so I walked."

I couldn't imagine how far she must have walked. But looking at the condition of her feet, despite her quick healing abilities, it looked like she'd been at it for days. Once I got past the deadened look in her eyes, I saw that her cheeks were hollowed out. Her hipbones and ribs jutted out dangerously through her skin. She looked like she hadn't eaten anything since the wedding. Considering the energy burned when in wolf form, I thought it was a miracle that she was even standing. I realized then that my questions and her explanations could wait.

"Leah." I stood up and helped ease her down onto the bed. My mothering instincts kicked in instantly. "We're going to get you cleaned up, okay? You stay right there and I'm going to get a bath ready. While you're cleaning up, I'm going to make dinner. Once you've eaten, then we'll talk. Okay?" My voice was clear and commanding, showing that I wasn't up for any arguments. Her compliance was welcome, if not unnerving.

I took her silence and distant gaze as a yes and left her in the bedroom while I got the bath going. I felt bad that I didn't have any bubble bath for her to use, seeing as how all my toiletries were at home. But, Leah didn't need a relaxing bath. She needed to get cleaned up so that she could feel a little more like herself. Jacob's generic body wash would have to suffice.

I started the bath letting the water get as hot as possible. With her body temperature already so high, I knew the bath would need to be extremely hot to soothe her muscles. I left the water running while I checked the food supplies in the kitchen. I hadn't planned on cooking so I hadn't bought any groceries myself. We were supposed to go over to Sue's for dinner. That's where our fathers were already. Rachel and Paul were going to be there too. Jacob and I were going to head over after he got back from patrolling. But, in light of Leah's surprise arrival, we'd most likely be staying in for the night. I crossed my fingers and hoped that Billy had left the fridge and pantry stocked like he normally did. Knowing that Jacob was coming back from patrol soon and that Leah looked near starved, a lot of sustenance was in order.

I opened the freezer and found two large frozen lasagnas. I also raided the pantry and found dried pasta and jars of sauce. I figured all that with a loaf of garlic bread would be enough for the three of us. I turned on the oven and set some water to boil on the stove. Once I got everything situated in the kitchen, it was time to check on Leah.

I turned off the water in the bathroom on my way to Jacob's room. When I walked into the bedroom, Leah looked as though she hadn't moved an inch. "Leah," I said tentatively. I felt as though I was dealing with a child or a wounded animal. I approached her slowly and with caution. When I touched her shoulder she flinched. Her eyes locked on mine and I saw the trail of tears that had dried down her cheeks. "Come on. The bath is ready. Go and take your time. Get cleaned up. I'll have dinner ready for you when you get out."

She nodded and stood up. She staggered a bit so I reached out to support her. Her arm felt sinewy and weak. She steadied herself and made it to the door before I remembered she'd need clothes when she was done. "Wait." She stopped without looking back. I rummaged through Jacob's drawers and found a clean shirt and sweats for her to wear. "Here you go," I said as I handed them to her. She nodded, making her way to the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind her. I sighed before heading into the kitchen to attend to dinner.

About a half hour later, Jacob came home. He headed towards me with a huge smile on his face. He inhaled deeply and said, "Honey, I'm home." He gave me a hug and planted a kiss on the top of my head. "What's all this?" he asked. "I thought we were just going to Sue's." His eyes widened appreciatively at the spread I'd laid out on the table. "Is all this for me?"

"No, actually…" I began tentatively.

Jacob must have sensed my nervousness because his gaze immediately shot towards the hallway. His nostrils flared and he breathed deeply. His eyes lit up with recognition.

"Leah…" he breathed, just as she walked into the room. She glanced at him blankly, the only acknowledgement that she'd heard him in any way. Her hair was slicked back and her skin looked red and healthy thanks to all the hot water and scrubbing she'd done. If it weren't for the dead eyes and her sunken cheeks, I would've said she was almost good as new.

Jacob opened his mouth, about to speak, but he instinctively seemed to know that Leah wasn't ready to talk just yet. So, we all just sat down at the table without another word, letting the tension grow and settle in around us. Leah ate like she'd never eaten before. I worried that I would need to make more food before all was said and done.

When Leah had finally eaten her fill, she pushed her plate away and sat back in her chair. Jacob and I stared at each other, unsure of how to broach the subject of where she'd been and what she'd been up to while she was away. Of course, we needn't have bothered because after a few tense, silent moments, Leah volunteered the information herself.

She looked out into space and whispered, "I went to see him."

I gasped in surprise. "You went to see _Jack_? Oh my God, that's wonderful. He's was so worried about you. I…"

"No," she interrupted, her voice laced with anger. "I went to see _him_, Patrick." Jacob stiffened in his seat and I gaped at her, horrified that I had put my foot in my mouth yet again.

"I couldn't help myself," she continued, looking everywhere but in our eyes. She hung her head in shame. "After a few days of just running around aimlessly, I found myself pulled against my will towards the Makah Reservation where Emily grew up. Yeah, I ran to him like a bitch in heat." The anger and disgust in her voice was directed at herself. I had never seen so much self-loathing.

"I didn't want to see him. But, it's not like I had a choice in the matter, right? My heart _ached_ because we were apart. I felt his presence before I even saw him. I watched him like some crazy stalker in the woods. One look at him and I felt calmer than I had in days. It felt as though all my problems had just flown away. It was nice. No, scratch that. It was amazing. It was the happiest I'd ever been. It was like I was complete for the first time in my life. All the missing pieces had fallen into place. I wasn't broken anymore. I knew that all I had to do was reach out and touch him and I'd find my other half."

Jacob and I didn't know what to say. I knew exactly what she was talking about because I felt the same way with Jacob. But, her words completely contradicted the emotions she was projecting. She said that the imprint had literally made her feel whole, yet the despair in her voice spoke volumes.

"But," she paused, swallowing hard. Her mind, body and soul were at war with one another. "It's all bullshit!" She screamed and pushed her chair out from under her and let it crash to the floor. She started to pace the small kitchen like a caged animal. Her body trembled on the verge of phasing. Jacob ran to my chair and pulled me up behind him. Normally, I would have been annoyed by his protectiveness. He knew I wasn't a fragile doll that needed to be guarded incessantly. But, it was clear to me that we were dealing with an unstable werewolf. And Leah looked crazed. Jacob was just doing his job. He couldn't help that his Alpha instinct kicked in at the smallest sign of danger. I knew Leah wouldn't hurt me intentionally. But, she was frayed, on edge and Jacob wasn't going to take any chances. In that particular case, I didn't mind his protectiveness at all.

"It doesn't mean _anything_," she screamed, not caring that tears were freely falling from her eyes. "I haven't seen Patrick in years. I knew him when I was a child. And I only tolerated him then, for Emily's sake. Never once did I have a crush on him. And now, at Emily's God damned wedding, I take one look at him and all of a sudden I'm just supposed to be fulfilled? It's not _real_!"

Leah was frantic. She paced back and forth, pulling at her hair. Jacob gently pushed me even farther behind him so that he could approach the raging werewolf without fear for my safety. "Leah." He said. He held his hands up in a calming gesture and stepped towards her slowly. "You need to calm down. Talk to me. I can help. Maybe…"

"Help?" she laughed bitterly. "All I want is to be with Jack. I _love_ him. He knows who and what I am. He means everything to me. Except now…now there's a fucking cloud hanging over my heart that's blocking him out. My own body is working against me. Every step I take, I have to fight for because my very soul wants to take me to Patrick. I _know_ I love Jack, but I can barely _feel_ it. Patrick doesn't know me, at least not anymore. I'm just supposed to build a life with him solely on the fact that I need him so desperately that I feel like I'll die without him? Does that sound right to you? Is that normal?"

"I'm so sorry, Leah." Jacob was fully aware of how hopeless she felt. "I wish there was something I could do."

Leah stopped short and stared at Jacob like he'd just solved all her problems. She wiped the tears from her eyes and an eerie calm settled over her. "That's it!" she cried. "I don't know why I didn't think of this before," she muttered to herself.

Jacob looked surprised yet hopeful at Leah's sudden change. "Okay, I'll bite," he chuckled. "Tell me how I can help you."

Leah stepped right up to him with fire in her eyes. "You can _order_ me not to see Patrick!" My heart sank at the excitement and conviction in her eyes. I knew instinctively that it wasn't as easy as she was making it sound. I also didn't think it was something that Jacob would willingly do, even for her. He hated using his Alpha authority as it was. The wolf already had complete control of their lives. He didn't feel good about exerting his Alpha commands unless it related specifically to training. He didn't want to become a tyrant. And he certainly didn't want to put an order on Leah that would forever alter her future.

"Leah," he began sadly. But she cut him off, raving excitedly.

"It's the perfect idea, Jake! Just order me not to see him and then I can be with Jack. I won't have to worry about the mindless need to be with a stranger. I'm too weak to fight it. But, I want to. So please, just order me to stay away."

Seeing tears in the eyes of such a strong woman was a tough pill to swallow. Jacob sighed and scratched the back of his head. "I can't do that." He said.

Leah refused to be deterred. "Of course you can." She said insistently. The excitement was gone from her voice, replaced by desperation and fear. "Just tell me not to and I won't."

"It's not that simple, Leah. I can't place an order in direct opposition to an imprint. That's some powerful shit. You'd end up torn or broken because both forces would be pulling on you at the same time. It would destroy you."

She swallowed hard, almost defiantly. "It wouldn't destroy me, I swear. Whatever happens, I can handle it."

Jacob shook his head. "That's not the only problem. Leah, it can't be my will that keeps you from Patrick. Even if that is what you really want, it has to come from you. And, if you don't have the strength to fight it, then maybe it really is meant to be."

Leah scowled at him. Her animosity towards him was palpable even from where I stood, shielded behind Jacob's broad shoulders. "That's easy for you to say," she snapped. "You imprinted on the girl you were always in love with. Hey, lucky you. So, what? Only _you_ get to be happy? Well, where the fuck is _my_ happiness? I don't care what you think. Just do it!"

She was screaming right in Jacob's face. He watched her with a detached calm that he had carefully honed as an Alpha. "I can't." He said, firm in his resolve.

"You mean you won't!" She snarled, seething with anger. All of her despair and frustration was focused on Jacob. In the blink of an eye, Leah pulled back her arm and let loose a wild punch that would have put a lesser man in the hospital. But, Jacob wasn't a lesser man. There was a reason he was Alpha. Before Leah's fist could connect with his face, Jacob caught her hand, cutting off her momentum. She gasped in surprise.

Jacob snarled through clenched teeth. "I let you use me as a punching bag before, Leah. That was a one-time deal. You're going to have to figure this out without getting violent. If you can't handle that, then you can leave."

She yanked her hand free from his grasp and Jacob let her. They glared at each other, the venom in Leah's eyes made my skin crawl. "Fuck you, Jacob!" she screamed. She turned on her heel and stormed into Rachel's room, slamming the door behind her. The house quaked from the violent jarring of the door. I thought I heard wood splintering. Jacob was pissed.

"Son of a bitch," he yelled, going after her. I grabbed his arm and he stopped abruptly. "Bells, what are you doing? She's out of her mind. I'm going to explain the rules of hospitality to her…"

"No, you're not," I said firmly.

Jacob froze and looked at me quizzically. "But, Bells, she practically tore down the house with that temper tantrum and…"

"I know. But, just leave her alone. You can't imagine the pain she's feeling right now. Just give her time to cool off. You know if you go in there right now things are just going to escalate. Please, just leave her alone, for me."

Jacob sighed and gave me an understanding smile. "Yeah, okay," he said. He kissed me lightly on the forehead, his eyes filled with love, awe and respect. "I guess I should call Sue and let her know what's going on. I'll tell Rachel to just stay with Paul tonight."

I nodded in agreement and while he called Sue, I pulled out my cell phone. I listened to the now familiar message before speaking. "Hi Jack. It's me again. Um…Leah's back. She's staying at Jake's for now. I don't know what she's going to…Look, I just thought you'd want to know. I…I guess I'll talk to you later." We didn't hear from Leah the rest of the night. And Jack never did call back.

When I woke up the next morning, Billy and Jacob were busy making breakfast while Sue talked privately with Leah. I showered and dressed quickly then sat down at the kitchen table for some of Jacob's famous pancakes. Sue soon joined us looking pretty upset. She didn't say much at all. She ate quickly and then excused herself saying that she and Billy needed to get the Council together for an emergency meeting. They were out the door in a flash leaving Jacob and I wondering what was going on. Jacob was about to get thoroughly annoyed seeing as how the Alpha was so blatantly excluded from the meeting. But, before he had a chance to get too angry, Leah walked into the kitchen looking tired, but determined.

"They didn't ask you to go because they already know where you stand," she offered cryptically.

Jacob frowned. "What are you talking about, Leah? What do you mean they know where I stand? Where I stand on what exactly?"

She sat town at the table with us. She took a deep breath and then the amazing happened. She smiled. The smile lit up her face and shone through her eyes. "Look, I'm sorry about last night. I wasn't thinking clearly and…"

"Leah, it's cool. We're cool. Just tell me what's going on."

She nodded appreciatively and said, "My mom called a meeting because I've decided to fight the imprint. I'm staying with Jack."

My eyes widened in shock. This was a far cry from the Leah I'd seen the night before, the one who had begged and pleaded, nearly coming to blows with Jacob in an effort to get him to order her not to see Patrick. The desperation was gone from her voice.

"I've been up all night," she continued. Jacob and I were rendered speechless, listening with rapt attention. "And, no matter what, it all comes down to one thing, love. I _love_ Jack. I want him in my life. That's who I am. It's only the wolf in me that wants Patrick. I don't even know him, at least not as well as I used to. I'm not going to let the wolf dictate my future. It already controls my present. I'm not going to let it control anything else."

"Wait, I'm confused." I looked between Leah and Jacob. "Don't get me wrong, Leah. I'm happy for you and for Jack." Of course I was happy for her. But, deep down, I questioned whether or not fighting the imprint was even possible. It never seemed like a viable choice before. I didn't want to bring it up for fear that Leah would get violent again. "What does this have to do with the Council?" I asked instead.

It was Jacob who answered. "It's because they think imprinting is their business. They were furious with me when I didn't tell you about the imprint, Bells. They told Sam to order me to do it. They didn't realize how stubborn I could be. And, it looks like they're underestimating Leah too."

"I'm still confused. Can they force Leah to accept Patrick?"

"No," he answered confidently. "Only I can. And, we already know I won't do it. They're just going to bitch and moan about tradition and destiny in the hopes that one of us caves and gets with the program."

"But, couldn't that affect your role as Alpha? I mean, don't you answer to them?"

He sighed. "In theory I do. But, I'm also the son of the Chief, so to speak. None of them were ever wolves. This curse skipped their generation. They don't know what we deal with day in and day out. So, I'll be damned if I'm going to let them tell me how I or any of my wolves should live their lives. Besides, it's not like they can take being Alpha away form me. It's my birthright. It was mine for the taking. Unless I step down and release myself from it, it's mine. They need me too much and they know it. So, let them talk. It's not going to change what Leah or I are going to do."

"Yeah," Leah nodded. "That was my understanding anyway. My mom's not happy about my choice. She thinks that the imprint will be the best thing that ever happened to me. She just wants me to be happy. She'll just have to deal with the fact that Jack's the one who makes me _genuinely_ happy.

"I thought your mom loved Jack." I couldn't believe that Sue would be pushing her daughter towards Patrick, when she saw first hand how wonderful Jack was.

"Of course she likes Jack. But when it comes to imprinting, the Council is all 'What have you done for me lately?' My mom takes her role on the Council seriously. She doesn't want me defying their wishes."

"So what are you going to do now," Jacob asked.

"Yeah, I'd like to know that myself, Leah."

Leah shot up out of her chair and Jacob and I turned to see Jack closing the screen door behind him. He was worse for wear. He looked just as bad as Leah had the night before, minus the caked on dirt. He hadn't shaved and it looked like he hadn't eaten or slept in days. I saw the love and excitement burning in Leah's eyes. She wanted to run to him. That was obvious. But, something stopped her and I couldn't tell if it was because of her own doubts or because Jack had put up his own walls to keep her at bay.

"Jack." She uttered his name like a prayer.

Jack fidgeted nervously with the zipper on his jacket. "I don't even know why I'm here. I must be a glutton for punishment or something," he mumbled under his breath, speaking to no one in particular. He looked agitated and confused. His gaze locked on Leah when he said, "Bella called me last night saying you didn't know what you were going to do…"

Leah shook her head and said, "No, that was last night. I know what I want. I'm not letting this imprint control my life. I want you."

"Yeah," he chuckled mirthlessly. "What about tomorrow? What are you going to want then? Look, I guess I came here so that I could see you one last time. I needed to know that you were alright; that you were safe. And, you are. So, I'll make this easy for you. It's _over_. I'm done. You're free. So…" he choked on his words. Everyone in that room knew he didn't want to break up with her. But, he was a man. And he had his pride. "So, you don't need to worry about me. I release you of all guilt and pain. You're free to be with…_him_. I'll be just fine."

Jack turned and walked out of the door just as quickly as he came. Leah ran outside after him and Jacob ran out after her. I walked out to the porch observing from a safe distance, knowing that Jacob would worry about my safety if things got _hairy_. After all, he would have his hands full trying to protect both me and Jack if things got out of hand. I didn't want to put him in a position where he'd have to choose between me and his duty. I knew exactly what he'd choose and I refused to be responsible for Jack getting hurt more than he was already.

"So, what," Leah yelled. "You're just going to give up?" She caught Jack by the arm, forcing him to stop. "You're not even going to fight?"

Jack turned on her, flames in his eyes. "Why, you're not! You ran away, without a word. That's not fighting. So, why should I? Would fighting make you feel better? Is this some kind of test? What? Do you want to see if I'm willing to fight for you so you'll know whether or not it's even worth fighting the imprint? I'm not here to play games, Leah. If I thought for one second that fighting would change anything, then I would. But, I've seen imprinting with my own eyes. There's no getting in the middle of that. You should be with your imprint and leave me the hell out of it. You can't fight it."

Leah lunged towards Jack, startling him. She grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket and growled, "Watch me." She pulled him close and kissed him hungrily and passionately. It was the kind of kiss that you'd see at the end of a movie when the star-crossed lovers are finally reunited after overcoming insurmountable obstacles. It was the kind of mind-numbing, body-melting kiss that conveyed all the desire and need Leah felt for Jack. I felt my face grow flushed, embarrassed to be bearing witness to such an intimate moment.

Jack stumbled back under the force of Leah's onslaught. He grabbed her arms and I could've sworn he was going to push her off of him. He looked stunned. But, then his hands shot down and grabbed Leah's hips possessively, pulling her tight against his body. His hands roamed her back until one settled just above her rear and the other one tangled in her hair.

They both groaned in that breathless, purely sexual way that told me my voyeuristic curiosities had exceeded what was appropriate. I caught Jacob's attention and jerked my head towards the front door, indicating that it was time to leave the lovebirds alone. He walked towards me with a smirk on his face, clearly pleased with how that confrontation had just gone down. He made it to the porch and reached for my hand when a booming voice stopped us dead in our tracks.

"What the hell is going on here?" We had all been so distracted by the romantic reunion in front of us that we didn't notice Sam's approach.

Leah broke the kiss and growled at Sam who was fuming with anger. "It's none of your business," she snapped. Jack looked confused, like he didn't know what day it was let alone why he had just been kissing Leah amidst all that chaos. Leah subtly positioned herself between her old lover and her new one.

"Like hell it isn't," he replied angrily. "I just got back from my honeymoon and found out you'd imprinted. I was on my way to congratulate you when I heard about the Council meeting and your decision to fight the imprint. What the hell are you thinking, Leah? You need your imprint and he needs you. You can't just turn your back on him. It'll destroy you. Believe me. I would know."

In a flash, Leah was in Sam's face snarling and growling. She was on the verge of phasing. Jacob rushed in between them hoping to prevent them from coming to blows. "How dare you?" she screamed. "Patrick and I are barely friends. I don't _need_ him. And he certainly doesn't need me. As far as he's concerned, I'm just an old acquaintance he thought he could screw at a wedding. It's nothing more to him. I'm the one who's suffering, not him. And I'm willing to deal with the pain if it means being with the man I love."

Jack groaned and covered his face with his hands. "God, Leah, what the hell are we doing?" He looked into her eyes and ran a hand roughly through his hair. His lips were red and swollen from their passionate display. "I don't want you in pain. I don't want you to suffer for me. Please, stop making this harder on us. Just…be with…Patrick." He choked on the name.

"Thank you," Sam said, pleased that Jack was being so agreeable. "At least someone's thinking clearly."

We all glared at Sam. But, Leah only had eyes for Jack. "I know you don't want me to suffer," she said. "And I love you even more for that. But, this is my choice. That kiss we just shared, that was real…"

"I'm sorry, Leah. But, I don't think it is a choice. I…I can't do this. I'm sorry." Without a backwards glance, Jack got into his car, started it up and peeled out. Leah stood in the middle of the driveway, her arms wrapped around her body like she was trying to hold herself together. She looked broken and devastated.

Sam took a step towards Leah and said in a soothing voice, "Jack is doing the right thing. He's stepping down gracefully. You should be grateful he's letting you go. Now, come on Leah, you need to stop stalling and go to Patrick immediately. He'll take all the pain you're feeling away."

"Oh," she seethed, turning on him like a wildcat. "I should be grateful? You mean because I have someone like Jack and you had to put up with me? You're such a bastard."

"Leah," Sam frowned. "This isn't about us right now. You've found your imprint. This is your chance to find the happiness I found. Maybe now you'll finally understand why I did what I…"

"I understand you alright, you fucking asshole!" Leah was livid, but she retained control over her need to phase. "You're full of shit. That's what _I_ understand. You stand there and tell me that Patrick's my destiny, just like Emily was for you. Yet, you've never once acknowledged the irony of Quil's imprint on Claire. You said yourself that he could be anything she wanted or needed from him."

"Leah, we've been over this," Sam growled in frustration. "Claire's a child. Of course Quil can't be anything but a friend to her. Hell, he's practically her family."

"Exactly," she said, as though her very point had been proven. "He's her friend, a caretaker. I'd say that worked just fine for Bella and Jacob, considering he was her friend until he got her to fall in love with him."

"What is your point, Leah?"

"My point, Sam," she sneered. "My point is that you had a fiancé when you met Emily. You made promises to me that you threw out the window because of one look. You could've just been her friend. You didn't have to make her yours. That was a choice."

Sam's eyes narrowed in anger. But, Leah wasn't finished with him. "Look me in the eyes Sam and tell me that you don't still love me." Sam's jaw clenched tightly, the tendons rippling across his cheek. His hands were wound into tight fists. For all his strength and stature, he couldn't meet Leah's piercing gaze. She grimaced in triumph and said, "Yeah, that's what I thought. You made your choice, Sam. And now I'm making mine."

She turned her back on Sam and looked at Jacob. No words were exchanged, but her eyes were pleading. Jacob simply nodded at her and tossed her the keys to his Rabbit. She pushed past Sam saying, "Fuck off," then got into the car and drove off after Jack.

Jacob had to hold Sam back, because he was ranting and raving. "How could you just let her go like that, Jake? It is her _duty_ to be with Patrick. She can't fight this. We all know she's going to fail. Emily has three different messages from the guy asking about Leah. He feels the pull. As her Alpha, you should order her to accept him and move on."

"For the last time," Jacob roared. "I'm not going to order Leah to do that. And as far as duty is concerned, don't you think she's given up enough for the sake of the tribe and for this calling? Just leave her alone. She made her choice."

But, Sam would not be deterred. "This is ridiculous. You're all insane. I'm going after her."

Before Sam could take a step in any direction, Jacob was right in his face using his superior size to dominate and intimidate. I had only seen Jacob look like that once before when he first asserted himself as Alpha. But, I'd never seen the fearsome look in his eyes before that moment.

"You _will_ leave her alone." The Alpha command reverberated out of him making even me weak in the knees with its raw power. Sam cowed and staggered back under the full weight of Jacob's decree. He looked as though he was about to submit, but then he shook his head and regained his footing. "You…" Sam struggled with the words. "You can't _order_ me…Jacob. You're not my Alpha." He gritted his teeth in defiance, but his halting breaths proved that he was fighting Jacob's order with his entire body.

"No," Jacob sneered. "I'm not…_yet, _but soon. And for the time being, Leah's _my_ pack. And I say she does what she wants."

"You're being an idiot!" Jacob couldn't help but growl at Sam who was clearly losing his composure. "Yeah, growl all you want, Jacob. But, you know I'm right. Leah's going to break that guy's heart when she gives into the imprint. It's only a matter of time. And if you're not man enough to make her see reason, then I guess I'm going to have to do it." Sam pushed Jacob aside roughly. Quick as lightning, Jacob steadied himself and cocked back his fist, driving it right into Sam's face. Sam's head swung violently to the side and he stumbled to the ground.

"Jake!" I screamed and started to run towards him.

"No," he yelled, never taking his eyes off of Sam. "No, Bella. Stay back."

A ripple of energy passed through Sam's prone body. He sat up and rubbed his jaw. His eyes reflected more confusion and surprise than anger. "I can't believe you hit me," he said under his breath.

Jacob frowned, seemingly remorseful for letting things go so far. "Well, you had it coming. You know, Leah was right about you. She's always been right. Don't pass your own failures onto her. Just because you were too much of a pussy to fight the imprint, doesn't mean it's impossible. I didn't give into it blindly. And if anyone can fight it, it's Leah. Go home, Sam. Go home to your wife. For once in your life, just leave Leah alone. You should be more concerned with Pack business. Oh, and just for the record, Leah's love life is _not_ Pack business."

Sam got to his feet and brushed himself off, rubbing his sore jaw. "Fine," he glared. Though he was clearly upset, he kept his anger in check. I was grateful for that because Jacob looked like he would tear Sam apart if provoked. "This is going to blow up in our faces. You're not exactly making the right choice here, I hope you know that. This isn't what's best for the Pack, and you know it. Don't say I didn't warn you."

"Yeah, well in this case, I _am_ doing what's best for the Pack because if one of my wolves wasting her energy on trying not to fall apart, then the whole Pack suffers. It may not be the obvious or popular choice. But, it's the right one."

Sam shook his head dismissively and took off into the woods. Jacob mumbled something under his breath then headed towards me. I was stunned, not quite able to process what had gone down, first between Leah and Jack, then between Sam and Jacob. I was lost in thought when all of a sudden I heard Jacob shout.

"Bells?"

"What? God, Jake, why are you yelling at me?"

"Sorry," he smiled sheepishly. "It's just that I was talking to you, but you were spacing out. Look, if you're upset about me yelling at you earlier, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound controlling or anything…"

I shook my head and took Jacob's arm, tucking it in close to my body. "I'm not angry about that," I said as I led him into the house. "You were right. I wasn't thinking. I was about to throw myself between two warring werewolves when I know you're fully capable of handling yourself. You were right to warn me off."

We stood in the middle of the living room, his large hand still held between mine. My fingers traced over the reddened knuckles. I saw tiny red lines where his skin had split from the impact against Sam's jaw. The hand was quickly healing. "Does that hurt?" I asked distractedly.

"Nah," he replied. "Though I guess I didn't realize how hard Sam's head was."

"I can't believe you hit him."

"Yeah, I know. I'm just so glad I have you right now."

I smiled and looked up into his eyes. "What does one have to do with the other?"

"Well," he chuckled. "Once Emily finds out what happened I have a feeling I'm going to be banned from any of her baked goods. I'm lucky to have you around because you'll keep my belly full when she won't." He had an impish grin on his face as he patted his stomach for emphasis.

I turned on my heel and headed towards his bedroom saying, "That's not funny, Jake."

He followed after me, laughing and said, "Aw come on, not even a little?"

He sat next to me on the bed, reaching for me. I brushed him off and asked, "Why did you do it?" He was about to open his mouth to utter yet another snide comment when I pointed at him and said, "And I'm not talking about Emily. Why did you hit Sam?"

He sighed. "Bells, it's hard to explain. I don't want to brush it off as a 'wolf thing,' but that's essentially what it was. It's like we weren't Sam and Jacob anymore. We were just two Alphas getting in each other's faces. I just felt all this aggression and this need to mark my territory, you know. He provoked me and it just became this fight for dominance. I feel it in my bones. Our packs aren't going to be separated much longer."

I nodded absent-mindedly. I was anxious for Jacob to take his rightful place as the true Alpha for both packs. But, if I was being honest with myself, my thoughts were drifting towards darker territory.

"What's up, honey? You look kind of out of it. What's going on in that head of yours?"

I leaned against him, letting him wrap me in a warm cocoon against his chest. He gently ran his fingers through my hair and I hummed in contentment. "Talk to me sweetheart. I know this isn't about my fight with Sam."

"Are they going to be okay?" I asked. He knew who I was talking about. I didn't need to explain. Jacob always seemed to know my mind better than I knew it myself.

"I don't know, Bells. Leah's not the only one who's messed up over this. Jack looks confused as all hell. I don't know if he's convinced that things will work out between them. She…."

"She loves Jack," I finished for him.

"Yeah, she really does," he agreed. "But, I also know from personal experience that love sometimes isn't enough." His hand rubbed up and down my arm soothingly.

"Do you really think she can stay away from Patrick, that she can fight this? I mean, maybe she should just try to be his friend. It works for Quil, right?"

He frowned. "It only works for Quil because Claire's a child. Patrick's already shown interest in Leah. If she tried to befriend him it would probably end up working against her. He'd probably want more, which would make the pull she already feels even stronger. No, I think she's got the right idea. She should just quit cold turkey and stay the hell away from him. I don't think it'll be this hard forever."

"You're right," I squealed. I practically bounced up off the bed in my excitement. "Jake, the only reason Leah hasn't left the Pack is because she wants to see the whole Volturi thing through to its end. She told me so herself. But, if you let her go, told her she didn't have to phase anymore, then she'd have more control over this thing and maybe she wouldn't feel the pull towards Patrick. It's worth a try, right?" Jacob looked skeptical. "She doesn't want this life," I added.

"None of us wanted this life, honey. I was the first to complain about the lot I was dealt. I can bitch and moan about my lack of choices, but ultimately, I do have a choice. This is my duty. This is our calling. We were the few given the strength and abilities to protect our people."

"I know that, Jake," I insisted. "But, I can't help but think that letting her go is the only way."

"It's taken me a while to get here, but I realized a while back that we do have choices. We can walk away and lead our own lives, leaving our people in danger, or we can fight. It's not a good choice, but it is a choice. It's not something any of us takes lightly, especially not Leah. Bells, you know I wouldn't force her to do something she really didn't want to do. But, I don't know if I can get behind urging her to leave."

"What? Why?" I asked incredulously. "Do you want Leah to suffer unnecessarily?"

"You know I don't. But, I also don't want to lose one of my fiercest fighters. I'm sorry, Bells. But, when it comes to you, I'll be selfish. With your life on the line, I'll need all the help I can get."

"I don't accept that," I replied indignantly. "I don't want to be the reason why her suffering is drawn out."

Jacob held me at arm's length and eyed me sternly. "Bells, why do you always do this? You have to stop blaming yourself for the choices other people make. You're not the reason. This is our job. We were born to hunt vampires, whether or not you were at risk. We may not like how our fate was decided for us, but it's not something we can just throw away either. You're not the only one who's in danger. If the Volturi come here, it's our families, our friends, our whole way of life that's going to be threatened. We've all come to terms with that. And Leah knows that. She made a promise to you and to the pack. And if her choosing Jack over Patrick has told you anything, it's that Leah is loyal. If she makes a vow or a promise, she's going to keep it, come hell or high water." He shook me gently to ensure that I was paying attention. "You got that?" he added.

I nodded and sighed in defeat. Jacob's arms opened and I curled into a ball on his lap. He held me and kissed me all over my face and neck. Though I felt warm and safe in his arms, I wasn't comforted. There was something about Leah fighting the imprint that just didn't sit well with me.

"Alright, what is it?" As usual, Jacob sensed my distress. "There's more to it. You feel distant. It's like you're not even here. Talk to me, honey."

His concern was evident. I didn't want him to worry, but I didn't even know how to voice my true fears. I bit and chewed nervously on my bottom lip until Jacob gently stroked my lip with his thumb. He cupped my cheek in his hand and tilted my chin up so that I had no choice but to meet his gaze. It was hard not to get lost in those deep, dark eyes. "You know we can talk about anything," he reminded me.

"I'm scared," I finally admitted. My fears about imprinting, which I had restricted to the dark recesses of my mind, had finally come to light. He held me tighter. "I'm so confused. I know we fell in love with each other. But, sometimes I wonder if it's the imprint that's truly _keeping_ us together."

Jacob's eyes widened in shock, "Bells, how can you even say that?"

"I don't know." I shook my head, willing the tears away. "It's just that sometimes I don't even think we make sense. I mean, let's face it, what one person could put up with everything I've put you through and still want to stick around?"

"I love you, Bells. I've loved you since we were kids. I loved you before any of this supernatural bullshit. I told you that I was the natural path for you, not because of the imprint, but because I've always felt that way about you. I've put up with a lot, that's true. But, I'd do it all over again if it meant I still got to be with you."

His words melted my heart, but he still wasn't making me feel any better. "God," I cried out in frustration. "I feel like I'm a walking contradiction. I didn't like the idea of the imprint having so much power over us, but now that I know you can fight it, I'm afraid the imprint might not be strong enough to keep us together. I'm just so frustrated with myself. I know I can't have it both ways. And, that's why I'm scared." By that point, tears were falling freely from my eyes. Jacob brushed my hair out of my face with his large hands.

"Bells, you have nothing to worry about…"

"But, I do," I cut him off in a panic. "If Leah can fight the pull she feels towards Patrick, then what's to say that ten, twenty years down the road you won't want to do the same? What if I finally push you too far and you don't want to put up with all the baggage that comes with me? There's no guarantee anymore."

I was shocked when Jacob smiled warmly at me. I couldn't understand how he could remain so calm while I was falling apart.

"You're forgetting one key element here, Bells. I'm in love with you. I've probably been in love with you since the day we made mud pies together as children. You're it for me, honey. I'm not going anywhere."

"But…"

"No 'buts'," he continued. "I'm glad Leah's fighting everything we ever understood about imprinting. Hell, she's proving what I said to you all along. If I would have imprinted on someone else, you still would've been the one for me." The pad of his thumb rubbed against my tear-stained cheek. "I know you were all excited about having this once in a lifetime soul-mate thing with me, but congratulations! You're in what's called a _normal_ relationship. Okay, it's as normal as a relationship can be when there are vampires and werewolves involved, but you know what I mean." I chuckled and he flashed me his brilliant smile.

"Now, that's a beautiful thing to see." I blushed at the compliment. "I will never leave you, Bella, because I love you. I don't need a guarantee. All I need is you. With the exception of Sam and me, everyone who imprinted, gave themselves over to it because they didn't have anything else in their life. They really and truly found their match. Okay, Quil may not have found a partner or anything, but he's a better person ever since Claire came into his life. And who knows? Maybe Sam needed someone like Emily because he was too weak for someone like Leah. All I know is that you're the one for me. And apparently, fate or destiny agrees with me. If you took the imprint away, we'd still have _us_. I'm not sure if the others could say the same. We just have to trust that our love is strong enough for whatever comes. That's it; pure and simple. Can you do that for me?"

Instead of answering, I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him. The kiss was slow and sensual, conveying all the love and faith I'd placed in him. Yes, there was passion too, but we kept it at a slow burn; contained. I didn't want fire. I wanted sweet comfort. And, that's exactly what Jacob was willing to offer.

We kissed until my lips were raw and swollen. I never wanted to stop. The feel of his smooth, strong lips on mine was addicting. There was no urgency, just necessity. I found much needed comfort in Jacob's touch, in his closeness. Just the feel of his hand in mine made me feel safe and loved. And, I knew for a fact that it had nothing to do with the imprint. That was just Jake's innate power. It was his nature.

I straddled his lap and I moaned when our lips briefly lost contact. I settled myself with my knees pressed into the bed on either side of his hips and slowly ground against the bulge in his jeans. He cupped and squeezed my rear, pressing and grinding me against him over and over. He groaned and thrust up against me.

I pushed against his chest and he followed my lead, slowly lying back down on the bed. He pulled me down on top of him where we continued to slowly drive one another wild with our tongues and subtle caresses. His hands were strong, but gentle as he caressed my breasts. His thumbs brushed reverently over my peaked nipples. The only thing I was desperate for was to be rid of our clothes and any and all barriers between us. I wanted to feel his heated skin and the friction I knew would undoubtedly warm my very blood.

I sat up on his lap. He lay still and watched as I took off my shirt and bra. It wasn't the time to be slowly, artfully undressed by him. I just wanted to touch him, skin to skin and it couldn't happen soon enough. After a bit of struggling and maneuvering on both our parts, I was sitting across his hips and we were completely naked. His warmth sent sparks all over my exposed skin. When our lips met again, our kisses were hungrier, more urgent. And yet, despite our hunger, he remained gentle in his devotion. He slowly, carefully flipped me onto my back. He licked and sucked at my nipples, kneading and gently tugging on my breasts. My body arched up off of the bed offering myself up to him like a feast on a platter. He pressed kisses to every inch of my body. He made me feel worshiped and adored.

His mouth and hands were everywhere. His pace never altered. He made quick work of rolling on the condom and with a groan he was inside me. We lay still for several moments just basking in the feel of being joined so intimately once again. It was a feeling that I would never get used to because every time felt new and wonderful. He kissed me again, our tongues dancing, our teeth biting. And the next moment, he was moving above me and thrusting slow and hard.

The pleasure was mind-numbing. Jacob anticipated my every need and desire. It was a far cry from the frenzied sex we usually had, where we didn't know who might be walking into my dorm, or coming home early, or when we'd even be able to be together again. We were focused solely on the pleasure we were giving to each other. It was love-making in its purest form. He took his time with me, not wanting to rush it. My thighs were slick with sweat and pressed firmly against his sides. His hands settled under my ass so that he could tilt my body and drive into me at the most amazing angles. He teased me with several shallow thrusts which felt like small aftershocks as his hard shaft rubbed against my inner walls. My senses were on overdrive. Every fiber of my being responded in kind to his pleasurable thrusts. Every touch, every kiss and caress had me panting and moaning, practically begging for more.

I don't know how long we maintained that pace. Time had lost all meaning. The only thing that existed was his bedroom and the pleasure that rolled continuously through our bodies. I was constantly at the brink with no desire or inclination to fall over the edge. My body shook with the effort of meeting his thrusts. My energy was eaten up by the constant hum of pleasure that had settled over my core. Jacob was sweating and groaning. I knew he could have climaxed ages ago, but he held himself in check. He held out so that we could continue giving each other pleasure over and over again.

It got to the point that I feared even my werewolf's stamina would fail. I gently nudged him and urged him to lie down. My core was so sensitive that the right amount of pressure in the right spot would have sent me tumbling into ecstasy. I felt like I needed a break from the constant onslaught of arousal just to catch my breath.

I climbed onto his lap and slowly lowered myself back down onto his hardened shaft. The sensation of having him seated in me so fully sent ripples through my inner walls and I almost came undone at that contact alone. I was so close and I knew I wouldn't be able to fight it off anymore. It felt too good to stop.

I rested my hands on his broad chest and started to ride him, rolling my hips gently back and forth in a rhythm that felt right, natural. He grabbed my thighs and squeezed roughly, trying to last long enough to send me into completion first. In no time at all I was falling over the edge into pure bliss. My climax hit me slow and hard like a high cresting wave. The rolling sensation started at my core and sent shockwaves throughout my system. The intensity of my release consumed me. It hit me like a freight train, all fast and furious with toes curling and eyes rolling back. I was breathless and sweating. My throat was dry and parched. I clung to him like a lifeline, convinced that nothing was real but the throbbing in my core.

I collapsed onto his chest, weak and spent. My limbs were numb and I was thoroughly exhausted from all the exertion. Jacob's hands stroked me gently up and down my back as I slowly caught my breath. The pounding of his heart against my ear was loud and comforting. It was then that I noticed he was still hard within me. Spurred on by love and determination, my hips undulated of their own accord in an effort to lead him to his own release.

He held me as he rolled over on top of me, his member never leaving the warmth of my sheath. Without losing a beat he was thrusting into me again. This time his strokes were harder and more powerful. He spoke for the first time in over an hour and said, "This," and moved his hips in a circular motion. "What we have, it doesn't just happen, Bells."

He was breathless and panting, his breath hot against my neck. Our sweat dampened hair clung to our skin. I had no energy left so I simply clung to his shoulders and arched my body to meet his thrusts. "No magic made this happen," he continued. He sighed and thrust one last time, hard and final, signally his own release. His climax sent smaller waves of pleasure throughout my body, curling my toes and leaving me mewling in ecstasy. His forehead came to rest against mine and he said, "This is real. You're my one and only. You're _my_ choice. I love you."

**A/N: So, this chapter took a lot longer to get out than I had planned. But, in all fairness, it's a MONSTER of a chapter with over 32 typed pages! So, hopefully that ought to more than make up for the long wait.**

**As usual, I'd like to take a moment to thank my two awesome betas. Neha, you're the best friend a girl could have. Thank you for being wonderful. You helped me stay focused and really made this chapter better for it. I couldn't have finished it without your help. And Christine, thank you for looking at the big picture and helping me to see it too. This chapter wouldn't have been the same without your advice and suggestions. **

**So, you guys know what to do. Please review and let me know what you think. I LOVE hearing from you all. You are the best readers out there. We're getting closer to the end of the story and the real DRAMA is just chapters away. **


	39. Chapter 39

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do not.**

**A/N: I'll save my apologies for this horribly long delay for after the chapter. For now, I just want to thank everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. And, I especially want to thank those of you who have recently discovered this story and left some love. And, of course, I want to thank my anonymous reviewers: bmaenterprisessearthlink, majorfaith, lacrosse0603, kekewonder and avalulu.**

**CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE **

Despite the chaos that followed Sam and Emily's wedding, life as it always does, resumed. School started up again and Jacob and I were thrust full force into our busy routines. Once again, school, work and patrolling dominated our time, leaving little if no opportunity for much of a personal life. But, we made do with what little free time we had.

I utilized some of that time to do something I'd never done before; a bit of matchmaking. Ever since the wedding, when I had let it slip that my roommate was attractive, Embry constantly hounded me for details. He had me show him pictures and when that wasn't enough he had me highlight the many wonders of her personality, style and taste. Frankly, I was surprised he even cared about her personality after he saw her pictures. I'd never seen his eyes bug out so far in my life. It was adorably funny. He clearly thought she was gorgeous and was desperate to meet her. Though I knew his desire was driven more by lust than anything else, I knew Embry, and, he was a great guy. I trusted him. Besides, it wasn't like Liz was some delicate, virginal flower. She would be more than a match for him. So, I finally caved and decided it was time the two of them met.

Of course, that didn't mean I wasn't afraid of the prospect of them meeting. Jacob seemed to think it was a great idea. Though I agreed to some extent, I was also afraid that I would lose one of my best girlfriends if something went wrong between them. But, if being with Jacob had taught me anything, it was that you'll never know unless you take a chance.

The first night back in the dorm I proposed the idea to Liz. She had been begging me to introduce her to some of Jacob's friends ever since we met, and therefore, was thrilled with the prospect of finally meeting one of the famed "La Push Boys" I raved about so often. It didn't take any convincing on Embry's part either. So, by Friday night we had a double date set.

The date couldn't have gone any better. We met up at a bowling alley in Port Angeles. Jacob and Embry had already picked out our lane when Liz and I arrived. Jacob and I made the introductions and from that point on, Liz and Embry hit it off. Embry clearly liked what he saw and eyed Liz's tall, shapely frame appreciatively. And true to form, after about five minutes of amiable chatting, Liz asked Embry to pose nude for her drawing class, citing his gorgeous skin and perfect bone structure as the ideal for a model. Unlike Jacob and Edward, Embry didn't even seem phased by the request and said that assuming the night went well, she could count him in.

Jacob and I had looked at each other, completely exasperated. Clearly those two were like two peas in a pod. It was a shame I hadn't introduced them earlier. They both were full of life and eager for fun. They were playful, never too serious. There was instant attraction between them, and it was nice to see that it had nothing to do with imprinting. They had chemistry, pure and simple. The energy surrounding them was electric. Needless to say, it was no surprise to us when Embry told us the following week that he and Liz were going to see each other again. It was nice to see that those two had really hit it off.

Sadly, not all my friends were in such a positive state. Leah was still devastated by what had happened at Sam and Emily's wedding. She never thought she would be a victim of imprinting. And she certainly didn't think it would happen to her twice. That coupled with pressure from the Council had Leah appearing desolate and withdrawn. Her love life was taking a toll on her sanity.

Granted, I hadn't seen much of Leah since her confrontation with Sam. She still patrolled and held up her Pack responsibilities. But, it was clear to everyone that her heart just wasn't in it. Things clearly weren't much better at home.

She and Jack were making a herculean effort to work things through. But imprinting had created a massive divide between them, one that seemed nearly impossible to bridge. It would either make them stronger, or it would tear them apart permanently. The jury was still out on that one.

Though Jack had initially accepted Leah's decision to stay with him, her imprint on Patrick remained a constant source of insecurity and anger. They fought constantly. Jack was convinced it was impossible for Leah to fight her feelings for Patrick. He wanted to be the strong one and let her go. He wanted to make things easier for her, so that she could finally be happy. But, every time he walked out the door, Leah scrambled after him, begging and pleading with him to stay. He was torn. He was in love with her, but he feared the longer she fought the imprint, the more she would lose herself, the very girl he fell in love with in the first place. But Leah wouldn't hear it. She was convinced that anything was possible when it came to her love for Jack. They were at an impasse.

I found out just how bad things had gotten a few weeks later. Leah stopped by my dorm one day, looking as though she'd been crying, _a lot_. I invited her in and asked her what was wrong.

She didn't beat around the bush, but stated rather bluntly, "I'm moving out."

I frowned at the complete devastation I saw in her eyes. "What happened?" I asked. I tried to keep the worry out of my voice. I knew she didn't need that from me. She was dealing with enough as it was. I sat down on my bed and motioned for her to join me.

"Nothing," she replied, "at least nothing new."

"So, what does this mean?" I asked tentatively. I wanted to know if her leaving meant that she was accepting the imprint. If so, I thought I would've seen a bit more contentment in her eyes, and not overwhelming sadness. Of course, I didn't think it was a good idea to just ask her. I didn't know how she would react to that, especially if I was off base.

"That's the thing, Bella. I'm not sure what it means. We didn't break up."

I narrowed my eyes quizzically. "So, you're moving out, but you _didn't_ break up? How does that work exactly?"

"Fuck if I know," she sighed helplessly. "All I know is that we've been fighting non-stop. I feel like he can't even bear to look at me. Not that I can blame him."

"Leah, don't say that," I argued.

"Why not? I get where he's coming from. He's constantly wondering whether or not I'm thinking of…of _Patrick_." She uttered her imprint's name with difficulty, and not with the air of awe and adoration I'd heard from other wolves when they spoke of their mates.

"He wonders if I'd rather be with Patrick when I'm home. And the thing is he's not completely wrong. I _do_ think about Patrick, more than I would like. I can't help it. It feels like second nature to me. I'm constantly wondering where he is, what he's doing. Is he okay? But, it's kind of hard to explain that despite all that, I still _choose_ to be with Jack. That I want Jack and no one else."

Leah started picking at the fabric of my comforter, momentarily lost in her own thoughts. "He said he still wants to be with me, but that he just needs his space. I think this is all just more than he bargained for. And let's face it. We both know that that's just code for _'This relationship is on its last leg'_."

"It doesn't have to mean that," I insisted. I leaned back against the wall, tucking my legs beneath me. I psyched myself up for what I knew was about to be a real heart to heart. I was about to share things with her that I had only shared with Jacob. Just the thought of opening myself to someone else made me feel anxious. But, I knew that Leah needed to hear what I had to say. I looked her in the eyes and said with all the warmth I could muster, "Maybe you should look at this time apart as a good thing…for _both_ of you."

Leah groaned, "Bella, don't give me the whole _'distance makes the heart grow fonder'_ spiel."

"But, it's true. And even if it wasn't true, God knows you could use some time to yourself to get your bearings and focus on what you really want. Deciding between two people you love isn't an easy thing to do. You can't just make a pros and cons list. It's not an analytical thing. It comes from your heart. I mean, leaving for Jacksonville _alone_, was the best thing I ever did. It made me realize just how much Jacob meant to me. And it was a decision that changed my whole life."

"That's just it, Bella! I don't love two men. I love one and I'm hopelessly attracted to the other. It's not the same thing. Besides, you talk about how hard your decision was, but we both know you would've ended up with Jacob eventually."

"Would I?" I asked; my eyebrow cocked in challenge. "Because, it may seem like that now, but back then, I wasn't so sure. I could've made the biggest mistake of my life before I realized the truth. And that would've been a mistake I could _never_ take back. And where would that have left us?"

I breathed deeply, knowing how hard it was for me to talk about that time in my life, especially thinking of the two men I had hurt so much. But, I pushed through it because I knew Leah needed to hear it.

"Leah, I _do_ know what you're going through. I was torn so completely between Edward and Jacob that I couldn't think straight. I _loved_ Edward. I really and truly loved him. I accepted his proposal for crying out loud. I fully intended to spend eternity with him. I was on a path that meant _forever_, no detours and no going back."

"Yeah, but you changed your mind," Leah scoffed. "And now look at you two."

I shook my head and sighed. "It's not that simple and you know it. It wasn't really a matter of changing my mind so much as realizing what my heart, body and soul already knew; that I loved Jacob. And though my love for him felt different from what I had experienced with Edward, it was in no way…_less_."

Leah scooted back on the bed, her head falling back against the wall. I couldn't help but smile at her blatant display of surrender. "You've been living in a fish bowl, Leah," I began. "Everything's so close, it's like the sides of the bowl are closing in on you, crushing you with the weight of all that pressure. I think you need to get out of the bowl and gain some perspective, to make sure that you're making the right choice."

"I've already made my choice. I love Jack. That's all there is to it."

"Yes, but you also feel a pull towards Patrick, which can't be easy to deal with considering he's around all the time."

It wasn't uncommon to see Patrick hanging out on the reservation. Thanks to Sam and Emily, he was invited over nearly every weekend. He was definitely interested in Leah, and with Sam and Emily's encouragement, he really thought they had a chance to be together. Jacob was furious when he found out that Sam and Emily were purposely torturing Leah, all in the name of love. But, as strong as he was, Sam was still an Alpha. Jacob couldn't order him to keep Patrick away.

Leah was tormented by Patrick's presence. She would run an errand for Sue, only to run into Patrick at the local store. He was so nice and friendly, and she was naturally drawn to him, but even the small conversations they had did more harm than good. Leah's nerves were frayed and she was walking a fine line of sanity. It was one thing to say she didn't want to be with Patrick. But, it was another thing to say it when his presence was shoved under her nose on a near daily basis.

Leah nodded. "Yes, I'm pulled towards him. But, that's all fake. My feelings for him aren't real. They're not based on anything substantial."

"Maybe not," I said. "But the effect of staying away is very real. You're torn up inside, Leah. You can't live divided forever. That's not living."

Her eyes widened in shock and she glared at me. "I can't believe it, you of all people. Are you actually saying that I should be with Patrick, that I should just accept the imprint? I thought you understood where I was coming from. I thought that you and Jacob were really different like you claim."

Before she could get up and storm out, I grabbed her hand. "That's not what I'm saying at all. All I meant was that if you're going to fight this imprint, then you better be doing it for the right reasons…and not just to prove a point."

She snatched her hand from my grasp and launched herself off my bed. She paced back and forth in the small space between the beds and the door. A slight tremor passed through her body and I silently prayed that she would keep herself together despite her growing frustration.

"How dare you," she growled.

I held up my hands in an attempt to calm her. "Leah, listen to me. I know you love Jack. But, you can't deny that Patrick holds a place in your heart too. Now, whether he invaded the space or was invited in hardly matters anymore. What matters is that he's in your heart. And you need to get past the anger, the bitterness and despair and figure out if you're rejecting him because you really don't want him, or because you're trying to prove that you're stronger than Sam."

Leah's eyes raged and I knew things would get ugly quickly if I didn't try to change tactics.

"Leah, I'm not telling you to be with Patrick. I just want you to really take this time to consider your options. You need to really examine your feelings, because the choices you make now can alter the rest of your life. Jacksonville was the turning point for me. Among other things, I realized that staying with Edward wasn't all about my feelings for him. It was also about my own failings."

That admission seemed to have piqued her interest. Leah stopped pacing and sat down on Liz's bed. Her face was marred by an angry frown. "What are you talking about?" she asked.

I sighed deeply before beginning. "I fell in love with Jacob before Edward ever came back. And, it wasn't because he filled the void Edward left, but because he was…well, because he was Jacob. I wasn't all that experienced in the whole dating scene before Edward. And, let's face it, it's not like that was a conventional relationship anyway. But, what Jacob and I had was what a real relationship is supposed to be, something that starts as simple and sweet, but grows into something wonderful and deep. He was so loving, funny and warm. But, I had been so broken. I was weak. I never fully realized what I had. Or, if I did, I did a good job of denying it to myself and everyone else once Edward came back."

"You see, all those weeks I spent alone with my mom in Jacksonville, I got a glimpse of my old life, the life I led before I knew that vampires and werewolves existed. I got some distance from the drama that had become my life. I started reading and writing; you know, the things I used to love to do. I finally had some clarity, some perspective; I had some peace. I realized that taking Edward back had nothing to do with loving him more than Jacob. It had to do with my own sense of self."

"When Edward came back, claiming his leaving was all just to save me and that he never stopped loving me, well, I wasn't just filled with a sense of relief. I was also overwhelmed with embarrassment. The way I behaved when he left…it was unacceptable. I withdrew into my own mind. I isolated myself from my friends and from my father. I refused to grieve and deal with my feelings, because that would mean letting go. So I held onto it, all of it, the pain and the despair. I clung to it because it was my only friend. I was pathetic."

"But, even though I developed feelings for Jacob, as soon as Edward came back, I ran into his open arms without question, without a need for apologies. And I realized that I fought my love for Jacob so hard because I had to believe, I _needed_ to believe that what I had with Edward was true and real and special. Because, how else could I explain my behavior in his absence? If I could love Jacob after everything that happened, then I would have to admit to myself that I wasn't the victim of the most tragic love story in the world. I would've had to admit that I was a small, self-absorbed, emotionally stunted adolescent who cared more about her own pain than anyone else's happiness. I acted like a spoiled brat. And I couldn't face what I had let myself become. So, I took Edward back and tried to re-capture the love that I so desperately thought we'd shared."

"But, we both know I wasn't fooling anyone. If I was going to make the right decision, then I was going to have to accept my own faults and responsibility for my actions and my choices. It was hard to look at myself and see how low I'd fallen. But, once I accepted myself, flaws and all, I was able to see that I had nothing to prove, to anyone. That was probably the hardest thing I've ever done. Once I admitted the truth, everything fell into place. I realized that Jacob was the one. I still love Edward. And I will until the day I die. But, I've never looked back. I just want you to be free, for your heart, body, mind and soul to be in agreement. That's the only way you'll ever truly be happy; with Jack, Patrick or anyone."

Leah really listened to me. And for once, I felt like I had something helpful to contribute. I didn't need to be a shape-shifter to understand her pain. I was a girl who had experienced the ups and downs of love just like her. I would have been a fool to think that sharing my experiences would fix all her problems. I knew they wouldn't. All I wanted was for her to accept the space that Jack was pushing on her willingly, and with grace. I didn't want her to be torn up all the time. She was so angry and bitter about her lot in life that I feared it was clouding her judgment.

After all was said and done, she could still very well choose Jack and reject her imprint. She knew I would support her. But, she needed to make sure that she would be doing it because she loved Jack and couldn't live without him, and not to show how strong she was.

In the following weeks, Leah visibly withdrew into herself. It didn't raise much concern, seeing as how she continued to fulfill all of her duties. I could tell she was taking my confession to heart. She was finally starting to move beyond her black and white perspective and see the gray area in between. Jack would come to the Rez and visit her. On those days, she seemed happy and content. But the feelings didn't last long, because Jack always went home without her, insisting that he still needed his space.

Sadly, Patrick's constant presence on the Rez made life rather difficult for Leah. She was never really given the opportunity for self-reflection. It didn't help matters when the Council voted that Leah should stop all the nonsense and accept Patrick as her imprinted mate. They demanded that Jacob order her to fall in line. When Jacob refused, the Council called an emergency meeting, demanding that he attend. It took a lot of convincing from Billy, but Jacob finally agreed to go. He knew that it was his duty as the Chief's son to attend. He eventually saw it as an opportunity to set the Council straight on matters of imprinting.

The day of the meeting left me feeling anxious and flustered. Normally, I would have just been concerned for Leah and the Council's decision concerning her life. But, that was before Jacob had invited me to attend. Needless to say, all my self-doubt and insecurities made a quick reappearance.

"I don't see why I should go," I whined as I gave myself another once over in my floor-length mirror. I eyed my reflection critically and wondered for the millionth time whether or not jeans and a demure cardigan were appropriate attire for a Council meeting.

Jacob looked on from the doorway, his enormous body taking up all the space within the doorframe. He leaned back against the wood, his arms crossed over his chest and he sighed. "I think you look beautiful, Bells." He glared at the mound of clothes that had been discarded on my bed. "I think you looked beautiful in everything you've tried on." He pushed himself away from the door and was behind me in two long strides. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and bent so that his chin rested on top of my head. He met my eyes in the mirror and said, "You're being too intense, honey. You never care this much about this sort of thing. Relax it's just a meeting."

He was right. It wasn't like me to worry about what I should wear. That was Alice's department. Normally, all I had to do was think about calling her and she'd be at my door with a collection of high fashion couture and shoes to match. Not exactly the acceptable attire for a Council meeting. When she offered to help I had declined, thinking it would be strange to have a vampire dress me for a Council meeting involving wolves. Alice had been disappointed, but I appreciated that she held back and let me figure out things on my own; even if I wasn't doing a very good job of it.

I ran my hands up Jacob's arms and clung to him while I took a few calming breaths. I met his reflected gaze in the mirror and said, "I know I'm acting crazy right now. But, this is a big deal. I mean, how many _'Pale Faces'_ have ever been to these meetings?"

Jacob chuckled, but he was clearly stumped by my question. It was obvious that he hadn't thought of that before. I tugged on his arms and he reluctantly released me from his embrace. "You're the son of the Chief, Jake. You play a vital role in your tribe. And…I'm your _mate_. I'm your partner. And someday, I'll even be your wife…"

Jacob smiled widely and opened his mouth to speak. I moved close and placed my fingers on his lips. "But, none of that matters right now. Right now, I'm just a teenager who's brought pain and suffering to their future Chief. Oh and hey, let's not forget the fact that thanks to me, we have a whole hoard of vampires just waiting to take us all out." I grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him close, emphasizing my point. "I know how important my role _should_ be. But, I just don't think the Council will be able to see beyond what I've done and accept me. I won't be any help to you. And, today shouldn't be about me."

"Can I speak now?" Jacob's tone was light, but I heard the underlying seriousness of it. I turned back to the mirror, my hands busy smoothing invisible wrinkles in my clothes.

"First of all, none of that is your fault. You got involved with vampires, and they got you involved in a world of hurt. The Volturi are _not_ your fault."

We'd been over that a thousand times, but it never erased the immense guilt I felt for bringing Jacob and his people onto Aro's radar. Jacob, as always, seemed to know what I was thinking. He brushed a lock of hair away from my face and tucked it behind my ear. "Honey, you know exactly why it's important for you to be there. You are my mate. I want you…no, I need you by my side today. Plus, you're my imprint. And, to the Council, that makes your opinion as good as mine. You said yourself that Leah could use all the help she can get."

"I just thought it was forbidden or something. I mean, you never asked me to come before. Ugh," I groaned, looking at my reflection again. "Are you sure I look okay?"

"Woman," he growled playfully. "You're driving me crazy here!"

"I know, I know," I whined. "Wait, I think I have something that will work." This time, it was Jacob who groaned when I took off the sweater and tank top I had been wearing. "I know I have a blouse in here somewhere." I stood there in my jeans and bra while I frantically looked through the pile of clothes on my bed. I had practically tried on everything I owned and I knew I had already tried on the blouse earlier, but had rashly discarded it.

I saw Jacob shake his head from the corner of my eye. He dove into the pile with me and within seconds retrieved the light green blouse I was searching for. He handed it to me and I quickly put it on, buttoning myself up. He nodded approvingly and said, "I'm sorry I never invited you. Honestly, the meetings have never been all that important before. Normally, Sam and I just give reports on where vampires have been sighted and how we've eliminated the threat. It's just a lot of shop talk. Besides, they've already welcomed you at the bonfires. And that's where Billy spills all of our tribal secrets."

"Something tells me this is a lot different from a bonfire," I sighed. "And I don't think we're going to get Billy's friendly face and great stories as a main event."

He turned me around; his hand cupped my chin guiding my eyes to his. "No, we're definitely not. But, this meeting is important. And I knew you'd want to be there for Leah."

"I know. You're right. Okay, at least tell me what I'm in for. And, why is Old Quil leading this inquisition, and not your dad? If Billy's the unofficial Chief, why isn't he in charge?"

"Ah," he smirked. "That's the Council's little system of checks and balances."

My eyebrow cocked of its own accord. "Hey, don't look at me like that!" he said. "Why are you always surprised when I drop some knowledge on you? I do pay attention in class sometimes, you know."

I giggled at his feigned annoyance. "I'm sorry, go ahead."

He shook his head and smiled. "There's not much else to it. Dad would normally lead the meeting, but since he's already made his opinion about their decision clear, and since it involves my disobedience, he's not exactly an impartial judge. So, Old Quil will be leading the meeting. As far as I know, this is all about slapping me on the hand for not obeying their wishes. Hopefully I can talk some sense into them and convince them to leave Leah alone. And, you're coming because you're my best ally in this whole thing. I want you by my side."

He bent down and kissed me softly, wrapping me in his strong arms. When our lips parted, I couldn't help but smile at the eager look in his eyes.

"Alright," I grinned. I looked at my reflection in the mirror one last time. I may have gone through my entire wardrobe, but I was finally convinced that I looked presentable for the meeting. I looked over my shoulder at Jacob and said, "Okay, I'm ready. Let's go."

I was met with a lascivious grin on his face. Jacob stalked towards me and grabbed me firmly, but gently by the arms, pulling me tightly against his body. I grunted at the impact wondering what the hell he was up to until I felt his very hard and very large erection pressing against my belly. He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Want to have a quickie?" he asked.

I blushed and bit my lower lip, considering his proposition. "As…wonderful as that sounds, I did just get dressed. And," I began breathlessly. But, I couldn't think straight because he was placing open-mouthed kisses all along my neck, nipping and biting as he moved. "Jake, we'll be late and…" But then his hands cupped my rear, squeezing and pressing me closer to his need. "And…I think I've run out of excuses."

Jacob smiled triumphantly and pulled me into a mind melting kiss, his tongue doing things to mine that would probably be considered illegal in most states. I broke the kiss to catch a much needed breath. "Okay," I panted weakly. "Just, make it quick."

He growled and asked, "Don't I always?" Then he frowned, realizing what he had just said. I couldn't help but giggle. "Uh, let's just forget I said that, okay?"

"Gladly," I said, trying to hold back my laughter. Jacob's smile faded and it was replaced with a predatory look. He walked towards me, herding me back towards my bed.

"Now, where were we?" he asked, mischievously.

"I believe you were about to take advantage of me…quickly."

"Damn straight," he said. And before I knew it, he picked me up and tossed me back down on my bed. The pile of clothes fell to the floor as Jacob landed agilely on top of me and we rolled around in a fit of laughter.

Forty-five minutes later found us on our way to La push, completely sated but running late. The drive seemed endless. Though I'm sure Jacob drove just like he normally would. Without saying a word, he understood that I needed some time with my thoughts. So, he simply held my hand in his throughout the drive allowing a comfortable silence to settle over us.

I couldn't help but worry. Despite his reassurances to the contrary, I was convinced that he didn't need me at the meeting. He was more than capable of getting his point across and urging the Council to do what was right. Of course, it meant a lot to me that he wanted me there; that he was inviting me to bear witness to a private, sacred rite of his tribe.

I squeezed his hand when I thought of how many times I had been excluded from things with Edward. How many times had Alice had a vision concerning me that I wasn't privy to? How many times had she and Edward kept vital information from me, deeming it too

much for me to handle? They had made me feel weak and I had let them. It was definitely a change of pace to feel so included, so wanted.

Jacob took his eyes off of the road for a moment and eyed me questioningly. I just smiled and shook my head at his wonderful intuition. Even when I hadn't said anything, he could read me like an open book. I told him it was nothing and he shrugged before returning his attention to the road ahead. Yes, it definitely was a nice change of pace to feel so included; to be held up as Jacob's equal. And, even if Jacob didn't technically need me there, I would support him in any way that I could.

We finally got to the Council Center and Jacob led the way inside. He took me straight into a small side room off of the main hall where Sam and Emily got married. The moment we stepped into the room, all chatter ceased and all eyes fell on us. I looked up at Jacob in disbelief. "You didn't tell them I was coming, did you?" I felt naked and just barely resisted the urge to cover myself with my hands.

Jacob shrugged and said quietly, "Of course I told them. I think they're just surprised you showed. They didn't think I was serious." While his eyes were focused on the council members, I took the opportunity to take in my surroundings. The room was small; smaller than I had expected. It was set up like a courtroom. I didn't know if that was normal procedure or strictly to assert their power over Leah and to intimidate Jacob. The Council members sat behind a table, atop a raised platform towards the front of the room. Fold out chairs filled the back of the room designating an area for an audience to witness the proceedings. In front of the audience chairs were two tables, presumably set up for a plaintiff and defendant. Though in this case, the table to the left was occupied solely by Leah and she wasn't on trial. The table to the right was occupied by Emily.

We walked towards Leah's table. Seth was seated in a chair behind her and he looked agitated. His jaw was tight and his hands were clenched into tight fists. His eyes were focused ahead, on the lone figure standing before the council. I followed Seth's gaze and my eyes locked on Sam's.

He was standing in the middle of the room. He turned at our arrival and his face displayed a smug satisfaction that made my stomach turn. He turned back towards the council and said, "Thank you for listening," before he sat down next to Emily. He looked a little too proud of himself for my liking.

The Council members looked at us expectantly. Instead of withering under their gazes, I looked each of them in the eye, including Sue and Billy, and let them know that I wasn't intimidated. I had every right to be in that room, to support Jacob and my friend. After I gave the council a good stare down, I squeezed Jacob's hand reassuringly and whispered, "Go get 'em." He gave me a wink and walked toward the space Sam had just vacated. I took a seat next to Seth and watched the meeting unfold.

Jacob's voice rang out strong and clear in the nearly empty room. "It's not like The Council to decide someone's fate without listening to all testimony."

Old Quil looked annoyed and replied dryly, "Well, you were late. And, this isn't a trial Jacob."

Jacob glanced around the room, "Really, with this new and improved set up, you could've fooled me."

Old Quil sighed but continued, "Sam's _testimony_, as you put it, wasn't even necessary. The Council and I have already made our decision, weeks ago. It is you, and Leah who have refused to abide by it."

Jacob was so angry that he practically snarled. "We refused to abide by it because it's all bullshit and you know it."

"Jacob," Billy's voice was stern. He shook his head in what could only be taken as a warning. Billy was on our side for the most part. But he didn't want Jacob disrespecting the Council or its members to get his point across.

Old Quil continued, "You've just proven why it's so necessary for you to follow our orders…"

Jacob cut him off and said, "I'm an Alpha. I don't have to follow your orders. I'll follow your sense, if you ever make any."

Billy shook his head and rolled his eyes at his son's behavior. And yet, I detected a slight grin on his face. Old Quil banged his official looking gavel and demanded order.

"That's enough, Jacob. The Council has decided that Leah must accept Patrick as her imprint. She needs to put aside her selfish desires and do what's right for the Pack. And if she can't do it herself, then we herby order you to make it so. Furthermore…"

I couldn't keep it in anymore and blurted out, "Wait a minute!" All eyes turned on me and I felt compelled to stand up and let my voice be heard. Old Quil looked thoroughly annoyed at my interruption and everyone else just looked surprised. "The Council isn't all in agreement," I began nervously. "I know for a fact that Billy and Sue voted against your stupid idea."

"Young lady," Old Quil's eyes narrowed on me. "You have no authority to speak on this matter. You shouldn't even be here, as this is a closed meeting, reserved to discuss Pack business. But, just so you know, the voting doesn't need to be unanimous. We have a majority…"

"Well the majority of you are idiots," I mumbled, none to quietly as I sat back down in a huff.

This time Billy groaned, Sue frowned and Old Quil's face was so red with anger, it looked like his head would burst. "Now look here," he began. But Jacob was in his face in a flash, challenging Old Quil merely with his physical presence.

"Don't even think about it. Bella _is_ Pack. She has every right to be here. So, let's not get off topic. We're here to discuss Leah, and not Bella." Jacob turned and pointed to a crestfallen Leah. "This girl has been through a lot. Too much if you ask me. And you want me to order her into a relationship that she doesn't want, that she never asked for? What kind of tribe are we running here that we're all of a sudden concerned with matchmaking over the safety of our people? What the hell happened to choice, to free will?"

"Choice and free will are secondary to what is best for the Pack, Jacob," Old Quil argued. "And if you weren't acting like a power-hungry, spoiled brat, you'd see that."

Jacob didn't even flinch. He looked straight into Old Quil's eyes and said, "Wow, that's

easy for you to say. Tell me, what exactly have you sacrificed for the tribe? Oh, that's right, nothing. You expect us to have all the responsibility along with all the sacrifice. You're wrong. You have no right to expect us to sacrifice our personal happiness on top of our very lives. You're asking too much of us. There's a point where it just has to stop, and I think that point is now."

Old Quil got to his feet and shouted, "That's it. You're an insolent little child whose head has gotten too big. You know nothing of responsibility Jacob. You couldn't even claim the title of true Alpha to keep your packs united. Instead, you're just playing at being a leader. If you can't figure out the importance of Leah upholding the traditions of our tribe, then I think it's clear what we must do. Jacob, you are no longer an Alpha…"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The Council was stripping Jacob of his title as Alpha right in front of my eyes. And I was helpless to prevent it. There was a time when Jacob probably would've welcomed the relinquishing of all that responsibility. But, he wasn't that person anymore. Being an Alpha was part of him. It helped define who he was. I thought Jacob was going to lose his calm façade, because his body was trembling. His anger was boiling and roiling right beneath the surface. He couldn't afford to lose his temper in front of the Council. That would just lend credence to their belief that he wasn't the best leader the Pack had ever seen.

Old Quil's ramblings were cut short when the most amazing thing happened. A ripple of energy rolled through the room, sending a tingling shock through my nerves. It rattled the windows and vibrated in the floor. It was almost like a sleeping giant was grumbling and yawning after having been rudely awakened. I gripped Seth's hand hard, wondering if it was just me who heard, felt and sensed this rumbling power. But he looked just as bewildered as the rest of us. Clearly I wasn't the only one who had felt that powerful energy flow through the room.

And then something clicked inside me. I recognized that energy. It evoked the same feelings I felt in the woods, when Jacob first asserted himself as Alpha. It was the first time he had openly defied a direct order from Sam. I remembered thinking that Jacob had come into his own that day. I remembered how he seemed to grow in stature in comparison to Sam, truly looking like the leader he was. But, I couldn't have been more wrong.

That episode paled in comparison to the grandeur that surrounded Jacob in that room. There was a buzzing in the room, like the very molecules of the air were cheering for and welcoming the new Alpha. Jacob had been talking for months about how he felt stronger, more powerful; more in command. But to see that power manifested, in an almost physical form was awe-inspiring.

Jacob stood in the center of the room. The rumbling and shaking rose to a loud clamor. The vibrations grew in intensity, moving inwards towards the center of the room; towards Jacob. He stood there, his head tilted back, his closed eyes angling up towards the ceiling. He let the power wash over him like the warm embrace of an old friend. There was an air of peace and calm about him that hadn't been there just moments before. And then a deafening silence permeated the room.

I bit my lip and willed the tears from my eyes. I couldn't believe it. Jacob had done it. By defying Old Quil and the will of the Council, Jacob had finally asserted himself as the true leader he was, the one he was always meant to be. And by the looks on everyone's faces, they were just as impressed with the grace and maturity with which he held himself as I was.

And then as if a gag had been removed, incessant chatter sprang up; everyone trying to piece together exactly what had happened. They all knew it was something powerful, but it had seemed magical, intangible. They couldn't quite put their fingers on it, but they knew nothing would be the same again.

Jacob stalked closer to the council table, filled with power and authority. "Let's settle this, once and for all." His voice was deep and clear. "Leah's love life is none of your business."

There was no longer any anger in his voice, just the strong conviction that what he was about to say was right and that he would be obeyed. I looked on wide-eyed and in awe, literally falling in love with him all over again. Old Quil stood up. He looked as though he had finally found his voice. But, before he could even speak, Jacob glared at him and said, "Sit down."

And Old Quil sat down. He moved as if against his own will. His eyes filled with shock and disbelief. Even I realized that Jacob shouldn't have had that power over him.

Jacob stood up to his full height. He towered over everyone in the room. His presence was loud and commanding. All eyes were drawn to the power percolating in his blood. I couldn't pull my gaze away even if I had wanted to. He looked into Old Quil's eyes and said, "I don't know where you've been these past few minutes, but I think it's now pretty clear that _you_ can't take that power away from me. Since it seems like you missed a few things, let me try to explain it to you. I'm no longer _an_ Alpha. I am _the_ Alpha. Isn't that right, Sam?"

All eyes turned towards Sam who sat next to Emily, completely at a loss for words. "Yeah," he stuttered, trying to find his voice. Then he spoke more clearly, "I mean, yes. We all felt it. That was a shift in power. Jacob's in control now." He then sighed in what almost sounded like relief before saying, "Jacob's Alpha now."

"That's not possible," Old Quil mumbled.

Jacob glared. "It's my birthright. It's who I am and who I was born to be. And considering how far the Council seems to have fallen, I'd say it's time we had some changes around here."

"Jacob," Sue interjected. "Now, I agree that the Council was wrong in Leah's case, but don't you think you're being a bit harsh? The Council is an integral part of this tribe."

Jacob nodded his head and smiled grimly. "Sure, the Council puts on one hell of a bake sale and it helps our people financially. But, we all know that there's something worse than unemployment and poverty threatening us."

He looked everyone in the eye before continuing. "As wolves, we're meant to protect our tribe and all innocents around us from the threat of vampires, from a fate way worse than death. And, I was told that the Council was here to help us, to support us. So far, all you guys have ever done is urged us to isolate from others and to maintain our secrets."

Sam stood up, shaking his head in denial. "Jacob, you can't just…"

Sam seemed to have lost his voice completely when Jacob turned his powerful gaze on him. The room rumbled and shook, nearly bringing me to my knees from the force. I clung to Seth's hand and watched Sam stagger back to his seat, obeying a silent order.

Jacob growled, "I wasn't finished speaking." The whole room was silent. We were Jacob's captive audience. All eyes were on him. As angry as he was, he was also strong and wise beyond his years. He carried the weight of an entire tribe on his shoulders. But, that was the thing about Jacob. He had broad shoulders. He could handle it.

"It's time the Council truly served its purpose; to help its people and _its_ wolves. We have a hell of a lot more to worry about than one girl's love life. The rulers of the vampire world have Forks and La Push on their radar. You all know this. I've explained it before. They're after Bella. But, if you think they won't destroy hundreds of innocents just to get to her, then you're morons."

"I don't need your approval. Though, we all know you owe it to me. My Pack and I are out there every day to ensure our tribe's safety and the safety of our neighbors. While you're tucked in safe and warm in your cozy beds at night, we're out there in the woods, hunting. We're putting our lives on the line every day. You haven't got a clue what it's like for any of us. And yet we do it gladly. We're our people's protectors."

"What would the Council be without the Pack? When it comes to vampires, we're your first and last line of defense. If we didn't protect our people, you wouldn't have anyone to pass on our history to. We're out there, every day and night with our asses on the line. And all we get from you are rules to follow? We're at war! The enemy wins a little every day. Just because we're protecting our land and our people doesn't mean that innocent people aren't dying every day. They're going to win if we stay divided and fighting amongst ourselves. We need to help each other and not work against each other in the name of tradition. If we don't we're as good as dead."

"So, if you want to sit there and argue about bullshit that doesn't mean anything in the long scheme of things, then I don't need you. Our time is too precious and if you're going to waste it with more of this, then you can go to hell. Now, if you can help us, and I mean offer honest to goodness help, then welcome to the team. Otherwise, we have nothing more to discuss."

Old Quil sat open-mouthed, in shock. After a few minutes he simply nodded his head and said, "Y…yes, whatever you need. We want to help."

Billy guffawed and slapped Quil on the back. "I told you he had it in him you Old Bastard!" He then smiled happily towards his son, love and respect reflected in his dark eyes.

Jacob nodded grimly in answer to Old Quil's pledge to help. "Good, I'm glad to hear it, because the next time we meet up, the entire Pack will be present. And," he added, daring Quil to disagree, "the meeting will also include the Cullens. I think their added input will help you see just exactly what we're dealing with. I'll let you know the time and place."

He turned his back on Quil before the older man could formulate a response. Jacob's eyes found mine. I was immediately drawn to him. I left my seat beside Seth and strode up to Jacob, reaching for his outstretched hand. He smiled at me and the look in his eyes spoke volumes. He seemed totally and completely at peace with his new position in the tribe and the Pack. It was heartening to see that the packs, once divided, had again become one. I turned to leave, but Jacob tugged gently on my hand holding me in place. I raised a questioning glance to him, but his attention was focused on Sam.

Sam remained frozen, exactly where Jacob had left him. A million emotions flashed across his face. One moment he looked defiant, the next confused. But ultimately, he couldn't hide the look of relief that eased his body of almost two years of pent-up tension. He actually looked relaxed.

Jacob must have noticed the change in Sam too, because when he spoke next, it wasn't in anger. Of course, that didn't mean that his voice wasn't laced with strength and the undeniable air of authority.

"Sam," he said. Sam immediately snapped to full alert, his eyes on Jacob's. "You are never to invite Patrick onto Reservation lands again. That's an order." Sam flinched, but nodded his acquiescence. Jacob continued, "He's not banned from the Reservation. He is welcome here. But, I'll be damned if you're going to continue to force his presence on Leah. You and Emily can always visit him on the Makah Rez. If he chooses to come here, we won't stop him. But, I think that he'll eventually take the hint."

I was so proud of Jacob for taking Leah's feelings into consideration. He wasn't solving her problems for her. After all, if Leah decided that she wanted to be with Patrick, then she could still do so. But, at least now she wouldn't have to be pestered and tempted by his presence when she was doing so well fighting the pull.

But, Jacob wasn't finished. He looked at Emily, who in turn, eyed him suspiciously. "I can't _order_ you to do anything, Emily. And I don't want to. You're a good person. I'm asking you not to invite Patrick here. You think Leah accepting Patrick is going to rid you of your guilt for accepting Sam. It's not. If you're truly sorry for hurting her, and if you want her to be happy, then you'll leave her alone. If she's meant to be with Patrick, then that's what will happen. But, it's her choice. If you care about her at all, you'll give her the freedom to make that choice. You _owe_ her that much."

Emily bowed her head and tears started spilling down her scarred face. Sam sprang into action, comforting her with his strong arms and soft words. And with that, Jacob and I walked out of the room, leaving a very confused group of people in our wake.

I was pretty sure that the Council wasn't expecting any of that to go down. And I had a feeling that nothing like that had happened in the Council's long history. Never had an Alpha called them out on their inefficiency as a ruling body. For the most part, the members didn't like hearing what Jacob had to say. After all, they had sat safe and sound behind the protective shield of the wolves for too long. But Jacob had called them out, essentially calling them to arms. It was going to be interesting to say the least to see how effectively they answered that call.

Things started to change pretty quickly after that. Without a constant invitation, Patrick's random visits gradually lessened until they became virtually non-existent, just like Jacob predicted. Patrick had single-handedly disproved the Council's theory that he needed Leah as much as she needed him. He cared for her. That was obvious. But, when he was convinced that he wasn't going to get between Leah and Jack, he moved on. Leah may have imprinted on him, and they may have had a possible future together. But, it was clear that they both could survive just fine without being in each other's lives.

Leah, unsure of whether her devotion and commitment to Jack was there solely because of Patrick's absence, finally decided to take some time for herself to get her head straight. And she decided that the only way she could do that would be to take off for a while. She was only supposed to be gone for a week, but she ended up staying away for three. She didn't tell anyone where she went. But, when she came back, she went straight to the apartment she had shared with Jack. And from what I heard later, their reunion was…_passionate_ to say the least. She had made her decision. And I knew that she would never look back.

The packs joined together seamlessly under Jacob's leadership. There was no fighting and there were no hard feelings amongst the wolves. Jacob took to his new role as a true natural. He wasted no time in setting up new patrol rotations and training sessions with the Cullens. And once Leah came back, it was clear that the Pack, once divided, was a complete family again.

The biggest change came from Sam. I feared he would be bitter about his demotion and give Jacob a hard time. But, he couldn't have been more cooperative. Sam looked and acted like a new man. He was still serious by nature, but he was also quicker to smile and laugh than I could ever remember. He walked around with a bounce in his step, like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. It was clear that Sam was never meant to be Alpha. He had done a great job, waiting for the true Alpha to take over. But, the pressure had taken a toll on him. It was only once the pressure was removed that we all saw how difficult it was for one man to carry another man's destiny on his shoulders.

There was a small issue regarding who would be Jacob's Beta. When the packs initially split, Jacob chose Leah to serve as his Beta. She was mature and tough as nails. He knew she wouldn't take any crap from Quil and Embry. His decision had proven to be wise, as their pack had gotten along rather beautifully. Jacob was adamant about keeping Leah as his Beta, but she declined the offer. She gladly stepped down from the position and allowed Sam to take her place, citing his overwhelming experience as Alpha as a better leadership quality. After a short adjustment period, everyone was perfectly happy with the new world order.

Even Emily was happy. Her husband may not have been Alpha anymore, but she was still the Pack mother. And, miracle of miracles, she and Leah even began to reconnect. They weren't best friends by any means, but Leah, newly freed of the pressures of the imprint and confident in her love for Jack, found it in her heart to learn to forgive. We all knew it was going to be a long process. But, the most important thing was that Leah was finally in a place where she could start to let all the anger go. And the Pack thrived in response.

Spring quickly turned into summer. Months had gone by with no further contact from Aro. Carlisle had tried to set up an audience with the Volturi, but he was denied at every turn. When he decided to fly out to Italy to speak with Aro in person, Alice immediately put the kibosh on his plans because she had a vision. According to her vision, Carlisle's future would disappear the moment the plane landed in Italy. He would disappear just like the whole of the Volturi, blanketed by the powers of the vampire who shielded the Volturi's every move. Needless to say, Carlisle stayed home and we all continued to worry. Other than that brief image of Carlisle, Alice remained blind to the Volturi and their decisions. All we could do was make sure that the Pack and the Cullens stayed on top of their game and that they were prepared for anything.

Of course, had I sat around and waited for the Volturi to make their move, I would have gone crazy. So Jacob and I enrolled full-time for the summer session at school in the hopes that we would catch up with our classmates. Our plan was to begin the fall semester as sophomores. It was a heavy work load, but it kept us busy. Focusing on our future was a lot more fulfilling than stressing over a possible attack.

It helped that as full time students, I was allowed to remain on campus throughout the summer. Jake still lived at home, considering his Pack duties. But, it was nice to know that he could still visit me and spend the night with me at school without having to deal with our fathers.

Liz officially moved back home for the summer, but ended up spending the night with me at least once a week while taking a new drawing class on campus. She really was quite the artist. A fact that became apparent one day when I returned to our room from my class and found Liz sprawled on her bed, her attention focused on her sketch pad.

"Hey roomie," I said, dumping my books on my desk. "Do you want to go to the cafeteria for dinner?"

"Yeah, sure. Just let me finish up here and we can go."

I crossed the room and looked over her shoulder to see what had her so focused. "What are you working on?" I asked.

Liz always loved to get feedback on her work. So, she sat up and handed her drawing to me. At first glance, it was obvious that she was still big on drawing the human anatomy. And, she was very good at it too. Her sketch was a nude picture of a man. And it was painfully obvious that Liz had paid special attention to every detail of the subject's body, including the fine sinew and muscle of his strong legs.

"Wow, this guy is built." I couldn't help but notice the rippling abs and strong hands of the model. I tried to suppress a blush when my eyes traveled up the guy's body and settled on his manhood. "Impressive," I mumbled. This guy was gorgeous and his body type reminded me a lot of Jacob, though this model clearly wasn't as well…_proportioned_. Liz started giggling and I realized why when I got to the model's face.

"Oh. My. God!" I screamed, dropping the sketch pad on the floor. I covered my eyes with my hands, as if that would erase the image that had been burned into my brain. Liz was laughing uncontrollably now. I had just ogled Embry's naked body.

"What?" Liz asked, feigning innocence. I dropped my hands and glared at her.

"You drew Embry?"

"Yeah, he was _very_ excited about posing nude for me."

"But, he's…my friend and…"

"So," she replied. "Your _friend_ happens to be hung like a…"

"Oh my god!" I cried, pressing my hands against my ears. "You can't say that to me!"

"Why not? He is. And he definitely knows how to…"

"Oh my god! I…can't. I…oh this is _so_ wrong. I gotta go."

I ran out of our room, completely mortified, with the echo of Liz's laughter filling my ears. I knew they were dating casually, and I even assumed things had progressed between them. But, I never thought I'd have to see Embry naked, and in so much…_detail_. Their bourgeoning relationship was definitely going to keep me on my toes. From that point on, I made a loud spectacle of myself whenever I returned to our room. I'd already seen more of Embry than I had ever wanted to see. I was going to do my best never to see it in the flesh.

But of course, fate had much more humiliation in store for me. Despite our hectic school and work schedules, Jacob and I still made it a point to meet up with our families for Sunday dinners. And it was at one of these dinners that my world was almost turned upside down.

Charlie had us meet up with him at Sue's place. He seemed distant and fidgety all day and I couldn't understand why. And knowing him, he wasn't exactly forthright about his problems. I was content with the fact that he looked happy and relieved that we would all be there. It was definitely a feat to get Paul, Leah, Seth and Jacob there at the same time, what with their patrolling schedules. But there was just something in Charlie's tone that made the evening seem important. So, Jacob gladly altered schedules so that they could all be there.

Dinner was delicious, as usual. Sue had made a few roasts and the wolves ate it up in no time. Luckily there was enough left over for the few civilians at the table. There was a festive feel to the evening. Everyone was getting along, including Jacob and Paul. Things were going so well that I should have known something else was up.

After dinner, Seth, Paul and Jack cleared the dishes, after a gentle nudge from Leah. Jacob and I brought out the dessert. Once everyone was back in the dining room and enjoying their cake, Charlie stood up next to his chair and cleared his throat in an attempt to get our attention.

Charlie was not much of a public speaker and I knew whatever he had to say was going to be big. I looked at Jacob who simply shrugged while shoving the remnants of his second piece of cake in his mouth. Everyone else looked just as confused as I did except for Billy and Sue. They had knowing looks on their faces and a mischievous glint in their eyes. Whatever was going on, it was clear that they were in on it.

Charlie cleared his throat again before saying, "Well…I'm glad we could all meet up like this, because Sue and I have some news." He tugged nervously on his collar and his cheeks flamed red. My stomach turned with anxiety. I picked up my fork and resumed eating my dessert. I needed something to keep me occupied so that my mind wouldn't jump to wild conclusions.

"Um," Charlie continued. "I don't know how to say this exactly. I mean, I'd like to think of all of you as family. And, well, Sue and I…we decided that…"

Sue stood up next to Charlie, her face glowing, lit up by a huge smile. She took Charlie's hand in hers and said, "I'll take it from here." Charlie sighed in relief.

I continued to chew nervously on a large portion of cake. Sue looked at her children, then at me and said, "Leah, Seth, Bella…you're all going to have a baby brother or sister!"

Nope, was _not_ expecting that. I choked on the piece of cake in my mouth. In a mad attempt to stand, I stumbled back and fell to the floor. Luckily, the fall dislodged the cake and I could breathe again. But the shock of the news left me panting.

Jacob was by my side in an instant, rubbing my back and helping me to my seat.

"Honey, are you alright?" he asked, laughing, but with concern written all over his face.

How was I supposed to answer that question? I thought for sure that Charlie was going to say that he and Sue were getting married, or at least moving in together. But, a baby? At their age? Had I woken up in Bizarro world today? Just when my anxiety was about to reach its peak, Sue and Billy burst into a raucous laughter. Charlie continued to blush and looked thoroughly uncomfortable.

"I'm kidding, Bella. Sheesh!" Sue couldn't contain her laughter any longer. Jacob erupted into roaring laughter along with Rachel and Paul.

"That's a good one, Sue." Paul said.

"That's _so_ not funny," I mumbled under my breath.

Leah simply rolled her eyes and said, "That's gross, Mom."

Sue looked slightly offended. "Well, excuse me for having a little fun with you guys. It's not exactly easy dealing with the intimate details of your children's sex lives, you know."

"Whoa, wait, what?" Suddenly, Jacob and Paul didn't find the whole thing all that amusing anymore.

Charlie looked mortified even when he was trying to hide a smirk from his face. "Alright, alright everyone. Let's settle down shall we? I actually did have some news to share."

"So," I began tentatively. "Sue is _not_ pregnant?"

"No, Bella," he sighed exasperated. "And what if she was? It's not like we're ancient, you know."

I shivered uncontrollably. Jacob squeezed my thigh reassuringly under the table and he chuckled at my reaction.

"Anyway," Charlie began again. "The big news I wanted to share was…well, I asked Sue to marry me. And she said yes!"

I heaved a sigh of relief. Everyone burst into cheers of congratulations. I walked up to Charlie and gave him a hug. "I'm happy for you, Dad. Really I am." Charlie blushed and stammered, "Thanks, Bells. That means a lot to me." He hugged me back and planted a kiss on top of my head.

Billy suggested that we pop some champagne to celebrate. We toasted the happy couple and settled in the living room talking about wedding plans. I sat next to Charlie on the couch while he and Billy shared a few celebratory beers. I rolled my eyes when I realized that Charlie wasn't going to make it home that night. And then I shivered as a cold chill ran down my spine when I knew he wouldn't mind one bit.

But despite feeling just a little uncomfortable, I couldn't keep the smile off of my face. Charlie hadn't been serious about anyone since Renee, and that was almost twenty years ago. He deserved to find happiness again. And I was just glad it was with someone like Sue. I wasn't just getting a step-mother; I was getting an extended family.

I was distracted from my musings when I saw Sue and Jacob walk into the house. Shortly after the champagne had been opened, Sue had pulled Jacob outside. She was so mysterious about it that it couldn't help but pique my interest. She walked into the living room and joined Charlie on the couch, looking happy and resigned. Jacob caught my eye and jerked his head towards the front door. I knew I wouldn't be kept in the dark for long.

I made my excuses and followed him outside. I joined him where he sat on the porch steps. He threw his arm over my shoulder and tucked me close to shield me from the chill, night air. "You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," I nodded. "I was just a little shocked about the whole baby thing. That would have been…weird to say the least."

He chuckled. "Yeah, but it was funny."

I punched his arm playfully and said, "No it wasn't."

We sat there in silence for a while. I savored his warmth and his tempting scent reminded me of the woods, the beach and his sunny smile all at once.

"So, I was talking to Sue just now. She wants to tell Charlie about us…about the wolves."

I turned to Jacob who eyed me cautiously, gauging my reaction. "Are you okay with that?"

"Well, yeah. Why wouldn't I be? I'm sure it must be killing Sue that she has to keep this secret from him. God knows it would be nice not to have to lie about things. It's been hard keeping such a big part of my life from him. It'll be nice for him to be in the know for once."

Jacob smiled knowingly. "I'm actually surprised you're so eager for me to tell him."

"Jake, it's the right thing to do."

"Oh, I know it is," he replied. "It's just that, if we tell him about us wolves, we're going to have to tell him about the vampires. And…uh…that's going to require a bit of explaining from you don't you think?"

Realization washed over me and I slumped into his arms, filled with dread. "Aw, shit."

**A/N: What can I say? This took me WAY too long to finish. Sorry about that. I had a bit of writer's block and the Holidays didn't exactly help get me in the writing mood. But, hopefully I'm back now, because I really want to move on with the story and get to the good stuff. I have a lot planned so if you bear with me, I promise to finish this story. Of course, this chapter wouldn't have been finished without the help of my wonderful beta/friend, Neha. Thank you for all your help and words of encouragement. It was definitely touch and go for a while there, but your perseverance kept me on track. And of course, a special thanks to Christine who always helps to keep me focused.**

**By the way, CFC has won a few awards since I last posted.**

**The Underdog Awards:**

**1****st**** Place**** Bella You Wouldn't Mind Sharing Air With**

**1****st**** Place**** Story You Would Have Bound Into A Book to Keep on Your Shelf. **

**Jacob Black n' Pack Summer Awards:**

**1****st**** Place**** Most Loved Imprint Character-Bella. **

**So, I'd like to say a special thank you to whoever nominated my story and to all of you who voted. It means a lot to me.** **Until next time…Erin.**


	40. Chapter 40

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do not.**

**A/N: I would like to give a long overdue thank you to EVERYONE who has continued to support this story, despite my epic failures at updating. I would especially like to thank the following anonymous reviewers for all their kind words and encouragement: Anony, mamadog93, J. Benz, ninny, ohjacobbb, your fan, twilightlover212, Barb, Witty, Nicole, Taylor and djmagic21.**

**CHAPTER FORTY **

_**Previously on Coming Full Circle:**_

_**Charlie and Sue got everyone together at Sue's house to announce their engagement. Sue convinces Billy and Jacob to finally let Charlie in on the Pack secret. Bella is less than enthused by the idea…**_

"I can't do it, Jake. I don't want to tell Charlie about vampires."

"Well, it kind of goes hand in hand with the whole wolf thing, Bells. And since Sue's pretty adamant that I let him in on our tribal secrets, I don't see how you have much choice in the matter."

"I know," I sighed, "I was just hoping he could live in blissful ignorance for the rest of his life."

Jacob chuckled and squeezed me tightly against his body. "Honey, I don't think you give your Dad enough credit. He _is_ Chief of Police after all. I know it's just Forks, but I'm pretty sure he got the job because he was a smart guy. He probably knows more than he's letting on. Hell, he might think he's been going crazy all this time. Finding out the truth might just ease his mind a bit."

I wasn't in the mood for his reassurances. My heart rate had accelerated and my palms were sweating. It was time to tell Charlie the truth. Sure, that sounded like a simple task…in theory. But putting it into practice was a whole other matter. I was terrified. How would he react? What would he think of Jacob being a shape-shifting wolf? Hell, what would he think of me when he learned that I'd dated a vampire and a wolf and had kept him completely in the dark? Running away was never an option. But it sure as hell sounded better than the alternative.

The idea of revealing all my carefully kept secrets to my father made me a little nauseous. I realized that once the truth was out, nothing would ever be the same again. Jacob sensed my inner turmoil and moved to comfort me. But, I didn't give him the chance. The panic that had been growing in the pit of my stomach swelled to overwhelming proportions, compelling me to act a bit impetuously. So, instead of throwing myself against the figurative sword with my father, I threw myself, literally at Jacob.

He fell back onto the porch with a surprised yelp. I straddled his waist, caging his head between my outstretched arms, as I leaned down and attacked his lips with my own. I ignored his wide-eyed look of shock at my brazenness.

He hardened beneath me and moaned when my tongue swept his lower lip. Although my attack had been intentional, I found myself swept up into frenzy from his kisses. His hands slipped under my shirt, leaving a trail of goose bumps along my skin as he navigated up my back. I groaned in frustration and urged his hands towards my aching breasts, though our lips never broke contact. And that's when Jacob pulled away, gasping for air.

"Bells," he whispered breathlessly. "There's a house full of werewolves just two feet away."

I licked my lips, the taste of him still fresh on my tongue. I looked towards the woods and back to Jacob whose eyes widened further when he realized my intent. "Well," I whispered, placing soft kisses along his neck, "we could always take this somewhere a little more private."

Instead of the unequivocal agreement I was expecting, I was rewarded with his robust laughter. I shrank back from him, sliding off his lap and onto the porch step next to him. When he no longer felt the weight of my body pressing him down, he rolled over and laughed even harder. I didn't know if he was intentionally pissing me off or not. Either way, the result was the same. I stood up, crossing my arms defiantly over my chest and glared at him.

"What's so damned funny?" I snapped angrily.

Jacob had tears in his eyes and wiped them away hurriedly as he sat up on the stoop. "Oh my god, Bells. You were trying to use me for sex so you wouldn't have to talk to your Dad!" He laughed even harder when I opened my mouth to deny it and couldn't. He covered his chest with one hand and his crotch with the other and said, "I feel so cheap!"

"Are you done?"

"Why, Miss Swan, you're diabolical. And here I thought you just wanted to be with me because you missed me or something. But this," he huffed indignantly, "this…well, I would expect this kind of immature behavior from…well…_me_." He smiled his panty-dropping smile that always did me in, even when I was angry at him.

"_I'm_ immature?" I countered defensively. "I'm older than you Jacob. Let's not forget that."

"Oh, I never forget that I'm with a hot, cradle-robbing older woman. But, I'm not the one who's trying to get her boyfriend into the woods for a quickie just so I don't have to face the music with my father."

"It doesn't look like you mind all that much," I grumbled, eyeing the erection which strained against the tight confines of his shorts.

He pulled me down onto his lap, his expression a little softer. "I love you, Bells, immaturity and all. I'm just asking why you can't be this immature when you're forcing me to study."

I rolled my eyes. "You are so annoying."

"And you are running scared," he added more seriously. "Come on Bells. This means a lot to Sue. She could have just told him herself, but she wanted the truth to come from you."

He sighed when he saw that I wasn't convinced. He held my face in his hands, forcing me to look into his deep, dark eyes. "You're always telling me that you wished things were better between you and your Dad. This is your chance to come clean about everything. It should come from you."

I leaned into his welcoming warmth. "I know it's the right thing to do. But, is it safe? Let's face it; I have a bounty over my head because I know about the Volturi. What's going to happen if they find out that Charlie's in the know?"

"Honestly," he smirked, "I wasn't planning on telling them. And I don't think the Volturi are the type to ask questions first and act later. Your Dad's already in danger just because he's your father. If the Volturi strike, they're not going to leave much behind. If I were him, I'd want to know. Plus, we both know how insane we'd look if we blabbed about the supernatural forces co-existing with us. I'm pretty sure Charlie will keep his mouth shut." He bit his lip thoughtfully and added, "Either that or he'll commit you to a mental institution where you will wile away your days in a white, padded room."

"Wow Jake, that's really reassuring." The sarcasm dripped from my voice.

"I know you're scared, Bells." His hand caressed my cheek lovingly. His thumb gently stroked my lower lip which was swollen from our kisses. He smiled at his handy work then looked in to my eyes. "But look at the bright side. There are some advantages to him knowing the truth. Okay, the obvious is that we won't have to keep lying to him anymore. But, he's the Chief of Police. With him on our side we might be able to save and protect more lives whenever the Volturi _do_ decide to attack. He can help with evacuations and coming up with a convincing cover story for the locals." He paused for a moment. "I'm surprised the Council never thought of that before," he added as an afterthought.

I smiled at him and gave him a hug. "They didn't think of it before because they didn't have you as the Alpha before. Think about it, Jake. You're changing things. You're forcing the Council to join the 21st Century. You guys have never worked with vampires before and yet here you are working side by side against a common enemy. None of this would be happening without you." I leaned in and kissed him, feeling his lips spread into an indulgent grin.

"Yeah, I am pretty badass, huh?"

I rolled my eyes, standing up in the process. "Forget I said anything," I groused. "Look, just don't let it get to your head. Now, come on. Let's go in and face the firing squad."

We walked back into Sue's house, hand in hand, trying to represent a united front. I kept thinking that I had done some pretty crazy things since moving back to Forks. But Charlie had always taken things in stride. Sure he ranted and raved at first, but he always accepted my lame explanations at face value as long as I promised not to do it again. My father wasn't much of a disciplinarian. It wasn't like I was a problem child when growing up. He didn't know how to deal with the inexplicable behavior of a teenager. How could I possibly predict how he would react to the existence of beings from nightmares? We were in uncharted waters and I had serious fears of drowning.

He'd be angry. That was a given. But I was more afraid that he'd be hurt; hurt that I had lied to him on numerous occasions. I knew from experience that being lied to for my own good didn't quite remove the sting of the betrayal. And when I met Sue's worried gaze, I knew she was thinking along those same lines. She was terrified that she would lose the happiness she had just reclaimed.

Sue sat next to Charlie on the love-seat. She seemed lost in her own thoughts while Charlie and Billy talked animatedly about the latest baseball game. Seth, Leah and Jack were lounging on the floor watching television. Jack and Seth seemed pretty engrossed in a crime drama, while Leah cuddled against Jack looking bored. I heard pots and pans clattering in the kitchen accompanied by loud grumbling and I assumed that Rachel had promised Paul some sort of sexual favor to get him to help her with the dessert dishes. He wouldn't have bothered otherwise. When Jacob and I sat down on the couch, a heavy tension settled over the room. Through the corner of my eyes, I saw Jacob give Sue a nearly imperceptible nod. She gave us a look that said, "So it begins."

"Charlie," she said. Her voice sounded louder than she intended. All conversation halted and all eyes fell on Sue, who looked very nervous.

"Yeah, Sue," he eyed her concernedly. "Are you okay?"

"Sorry," she muttered. She held his hand in hers, her thumb mindlessly rubbing circles over his knuckles. "I've wanted to talk to you about something for a while."

Utter silence filled the room. Leah looked at her mother for a few moments before realization seemed to dawn on her. She grabbed Jack's arm and heaved him up off the floor.

"Hey, what are you doing?" he whined petulantly, though he was clearly amused by her sudden change in mood. "I was watching that, you know," he pointed towards the television screen. "We haven't found out who killed the guy yet."

"It was the girlfriend," Leah replied, unconcerned that she had just ruined the show for him.

"Spoiler alert!" Seth cried. But Leah ignored him. She was clearly on a mission to vacate the premises post haste.

"Sorry guys," she called over her shoulder, addressing the room at large. "I just forgot. Jack and I need to get home and …and…wash our fish."

Charlie's brow furrowed in confusion. Seth shook his head at his sister's antics. Jacob, Billy and I couldn't help but chuckle as we heard Jack mutter, "We don't have any fish," as he was unceremoniously pushed out the door.

"That was…odd," Charlie muttered. Desperate to get the truth out, Sue opened her mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and closing. Paul dragged Rachel out of the house so quickly that all we heard was a frantic, "Bye" and "Thanks for dinner," from her before they disappeared into the night.

Charlie looked around the room in confusion. "What's with the swift exists?"

Billy shook his head and smiled, "They just wanted to get out before all the fireworks begin."

"Fireworks? What the hell is going on around here? We were having a nice evening and," he paused when he saw the panicked look in Sue's eyes. "Hey, what's the matter? Why is everyone acting so weird?"

Seth stood up looking seriously uncomfortable. He knew something big was up and he wanted to get out of the house before everything went down. "Um, I think I'm going to take off." He even made it as far as the front door when Jacob stopped him in his tracks with just his voice.

"That's crazy, Seth," he said, almost menacingly. "I mean, this is your home. I think you look really comfortable…right…here." Although Jacob's tone was light and sarcastic, it was also laced with an Alpha command. Sure, he had let Leah and Paul leave, but that was because he didn't need them getting hot-headed or aggressive if things got out of hand. I didn't understand why he was forcing Seth to stay, unless he figured he'd need Seth's calm presence to help reassure Charlie.

Seth looked absolutely miserable and sank back down to the floor in a huff. Meanwhile, Jacob grinned from ear to ear. I elbowed him for taking so much pleasure in Seth's misery and was rewarded with a chuckle from him and a bruise for me.

"Be nice," I whispered into Jacob's ear. He just smirked and replied under his breath, "Why should I? If we're stuck in this shit storm, he should be too."

Sue took a huge breath and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, the panic she had previously shown was replaced by a fierce determination. "Charlie, I love you."

"I know that honey," he replied. "I love you too. But, what…" Sue held her hand up. "Please, let me finish." Charlie nodded with a furrowed brow.

"As much as I love you, I've had to keep some things from you." She lost momentum when she saw hurt in Charlie's eyes.

"What do you mean you've been keeping things from me? Sue, I thought…" Sue reached for Charlie's hand and squeezed tightly. "I didn't have a choice, Charlie. The secrets I've kept are not my own. They're my tribe's secrets. And, though you've been a part of all of our lives for years, we were forbidden to tell you. But, I can't marry you knowing that these secrets lie between us."

Charlie was stunned. He looked around the room, a bit disconcerted that the rest of us weren't surprised by Sue's admission. And then my Dad did something I didn't expect. He started laughing. "Okay, very funny. You guys really had me going there. This is some kind of an initiation gag, right? Can we move on now?"

Billy reached over and patted Charlie on the arm. "It's no joke, old man. Although, I guess you could call it an initiation of sorts. You're about to learn more than you ever wanted to learn about our tribe."

I sat next to Jacob, fidgeting in my seat. This was the easy part. Sure, it was going to take a lot to convince Charlie that the wolves were real, not to mention explaining why he was kept in the dark for so long. But, I knew that we were just chipping at the surface. There was a mountain of lies that needed to be uncovered. I kept telling myself that if we could just get past this first hurdle then everything would work out. I watched Charlie closely. He seemed to be working some things out in his head.

"Okay," he said. "You have something big to tell me. So, what's changed?"

"I'm sorry?" Sue and Billy looked confused.

"If I was _forbidden_ to know these things, why can you tell me now? And why is my daughter sitting there looking like she's already in the know?"

I actually squeaked in surprise when Charlie turned his shrewd gaze on me. Jacob ran his hand up and down my back reassuringly as he spoke to my father. "Bella knows because I told her, long before I believed it myself. And, well," he paused and looked at me before returning his attention to my father, "Bella knew a lot about the whole secret anyway. She'd heard it all from…someone else."

Charlie stood up abruptly and started pacing the floor. "Alright, I think I'm about to lose my patience here. I feel like you guys are speaking in riddles. I keep waiting for the punch-line so we can end this pointless hazing. I'm waiting for an explanation."

"Sit down, you old coot. We're going to tell you everything. There's no need to get all angry."

Charlie glared at Billy, but his eyes softened when he took in Sue's worried face. "Please, Charlie," she patted the spot on the couch he had just vacated. "Sit down."

Charlie sat down again with a grunt, but he also took Sue's proffered hand. "I'm listening," he said.

I saw Billy and Jacob exchange a look before Billy began. "Well, Charlie, it all goes back to the stories we tell at the bonfires."

"You mean the old legends about your wolf ancestors fighting monsters? Is that what this is about?" he chuckled nervously. "That's not a big secret. I've heard them plenty of times."

Billy nodded. "Yes, you have. But, what you don't realize is that they aren't just stories. It's our oral history, passed down from the very first wolves."

There was a moment of silence broken only by Charlie's wild fit of laughter. "Oh my god! And _that_ would be the punch-line!" He doubled over, slapping his thighs as he rumbled with uncontrollable laughter. "So," he said, between heaving, gasping breaths, "I'm supposed to believe that all those stories of your ancestors running around as wolves are true? Okay, Billy. So, tell me. Are you the Big Bad Wolf?"

Billy joined in the laughter, clearly amused by Charlie's assumption. He even slapped Charlie playfully on the back. "Don't be ridiculous, Charlie," he chuckled. "I'm not a wolf."

Charlie wiped tears from his eyes. "Oh, God. This is just too funny. At first I was kind of annoyed that you guys thought I should be hazed like this. But, this is just too damn good. Wow, I guess I really needed that."

Billy smiled along with him, but in a dead serious tone, which contradicted his levity, and said, "I'm not a wolf, Charlie. But Jacob _is_." There was an air of authority and severity in his tone that made Charlie sit up straight and take notice. He turned his wide-eyed gaze back and forth from Billy and Jacob, trying to decipher whether or not he was being played. His face paled when he was met only with severe gazes.

"Alright, this isn't funny anymore. You've made your point. This stops now." Charlie was at the breaking point.

"I'm afraid it doesn't," Sue replied. She looked nervous, but determined to continue. "This is what I've been keeping from you, because it's a highly protected tribal secret. Sam Uley was the first of this generation of wolves. Several young men followed in his footsteps including Jacob, Quil and Embry. And, as you know, wolves form packs. My son and daughter are part of this pack."

Charlie's eyes widened in surprise, but he didn't interrupt.

"I didn't even know about any of this until after Harry died, Charlie. Half the tribe is unaware and thinks that the tribal histories are just tall tales. We've never told outsiders before. This is unprecedented to say the least. We didn't bring your daughter into this. She was unwittingly given the pieces of the puzzle by Jacob. She just happened to put the pieces together on her own."

Charlie sighed wearily, looking at me and back at Sue. "I want to make a life with you, Charlie," she continued. "I don't want to keep you on the outside anymore. I just hope you can understand why I did the things that I've done so that we can move past this."

Charlie's mouth was set. He shook his head, disbelievingly, "This is _not_ possible."

Jacob stood up and signaled to Seth to do the same. "Come on outside, Charlie. We have something to show you."

"There's nothing to show me. You're all being ridiculous." Charlie sounded like he was trying to convince himself that it was true. But, it was clear that self-doubt lingered in his eyes.

"Just come outside," Billy urged.

Charlie stood up reluctantly and with great effort to disguise his shaking knees. He followed Jacob outside while Seth helped wheel Billy out. Billy flashed me a smile as he passed and gave Sue a reassuring pat on her arm.

Sue and I then followed them outside. Charlie stood leaning against the porch while Billy sat next to him in his chair. "Now, just relax Charlie. You probably won't believe your eyes at first. But, it's important that you don't panic. It's still Jacob and Seth. They're not going to hurt you."

Charlie turned his panicked gaze on Billy, swallowed and then nodded. But, not before he glared at me somewhat angrily. Yep, he was shocked. But that didn't mean he wasn't pissed at being kept in the dark about something so important, even if he didn't necessarily believe any of it just yet.

Jacob directed Seth to stand as far away from the house as possible, while still remaining within the light of the front porch. He could tell that my Dad was a bit skittish and didn't want to frighten the man; a man who happened to be carrying a gun on his very person. Sure, a bullet wouldn't kill my wolf, but it wouldn't be pleasant for him either. Jacob wasn't taking any chances.

When Jacob and Seth started to disrobe, Charlie began to freak out. "What the hell are you boys doing?" he hollered. "There are ladies present!"

"Relax, Charlie," Billy chuckled. "It's nothing they haven't seen before."

I wanted to smack the smirk off of Billy's face, I was so embarrassed. It didn't help that Charlie had turned so red that it looked like steam was going to erupt from his ears. "Dad, it's not like that. They're just taking their clothes off so that they don't rip and tear when they take their wolf forms." I had wanted so badly to use the word "phase." But I knew it would be a foreign concept to Charlie. I wanted to make his transition into the supernatural world as seamless as possible. My mind instantly went to thoughts of Harry and his heart attack. My father wasn't that old, but then again, neither was Harry. I worried that if we weren't cautious enough the same thing could happen to him.

By the time Jacob and Seth had gotten completely naked, Charlie was red-faced and glancing in my direction about every other second. I suppose I should have feigned some embarrassment at seeing Jacob naked, but I couldn't seem to manage it. And that just seemed to aggravate Charlie further. Luckily, Seth was far enough away in the shadows and I wasn't gifted with heightened senses, so I was saved from seeing him in all his glory. Though, in retrospect, I suppose it would have made us even. I shuddered at the thought.

Before Charlie could get too uncomfortable with Jacob and Seth's nakedness, they phased as one, almost as if they had timed it perfectly. And in their places were the giant russet colored wolf I loved and the somewhat smaller, sandy colored wolf that had become like a brother to me.

Billy, Sue and I took in a collective breath in anticipation of Charlie's reaction. I stood next to him and saw that his face had paled dramatically. His mouth fell open in shock and his hands clung to the wooden porch banister for support. His legs shook so badly I thought he was in danger of falling.

"Dad?" I ventured quietly. I rushed to his side, but he didn't even acknowledge my presence. His eyes were focused solely on the two wolves which remained motionless in front of him in the middle of the driveway.

I feared that Charlie was in total and complete shock. I looked nervously towards Billy and Sue, but they just stood in stoic resignation, waiting for Charlie to fully comprehend what he had seen. And then, as if in answer to their waiting gazes, he whispered, "It's impossible." And as if trying to convince himself he added quietly, "It's got to be a trick. Did that just happen?"

I rubbed the soft fabric of his flannel-covered arm. He flinched at my touch, completely unaware up until that moment that I stood by his side. I made sure my voice was soothing. "Yeah, Dad. It's real. It's like Billy said. Jacob and Seth are wolves." I felt kind of dumb stating what was so obviously apparent in front of us. "They're members of a Pack. They're among a selected few of the tribe who were…well I guess you would say they were born to protect La Push."

"They're as big as horses!" he choked out.

"Well, yeah," I hedged, "but they're not going to hurt you. They only hurt those who threaten their people and their lands." I frowned and bit my lip. That wasn't exactly what I wanted to tell him. It made it sound like The Pack was just a bunch of vigilantes bred to get rid of pesky outsiders. It felt like nothing I said was coming out right.

Jacob and Seth had remained passive observers. Jacob was smart enough to know that any sudden movements on their part might spook Charlie. And we didn't need him reaching for his gun at a time like that. It was clear that Jacob wanted to give Charlie the opportunity to inspect them as wolves so that he was finally comfortable before they did anything else. But, Charlie still wasn't budging. I didn't like the fear and distrust I saw reflected in his eyes. He was a police officer and a trained hunter. He was surrounded by friends and loved ones. He was trained to shoot and kill animals like this in other situations. It went against his nature to allow such large and obviously predatory animals to remain so close, within striking distance of the people he loved. I decided to take matter into my own hands.

I walked down the porch steps towards Jacob only to stop abruptly when I felt a hard yank on my arm as Charlie pulled me back. Jacob growled low, but I knew it was just a reflex at seeing me handled so roughly. He huffed and shook his massive head as if to remind himself that it was just Charlie who obviously was not a threat to me. Unfortunately, Charlie heard the growl and his grip tightened even more.

He muttered under his breath, "What the hell are you doing, Bells?" I tried to pull away but he wouldn't let me go. I resigned myself to the fact that I would have another unsightly bruise in the morning.

"Dad," I kept my voice calm and placating. "This isn't like those monster movies. They're not true _werewolves_. They're not wild and crazy. They hear and understand everything we're saying. They know exactly who we are and who they are. They're not going to hurt me. They're in wolf form, but it's still Jacob and it's still Seth. Jacob wouldn't hurt me and he wouldn't let anyone else hurt me." His eyes widened, as though he wanted to believe me but couldn't wrap his mind around it. "Dad, _you're_ hurting me."

That seemed to snap him out of it and he quickly released my arm with an apologetic frown on his face. Once free I continued my walk towards Jacob. To his credit he remained perfectly still for Charlie's sake, not willing to make him even more nervous by my close proximity to an obviously dangerous animal. I heard Billy's calm voice over my shoulder, "Relax, old man. Focus on his eyes. Those are my son's eyes in there. You know how he feels about Bella. She's perfectly safe."

I was close enough to Jacob at that point that I could feel the heat of his skin coming off of him in waves. I looked back towards the porch where Charlie was stock still; literally frozen in anticipation. And yet, his whole body seemed to be coiled and ready to spring at a moment's notice. I sighed and did the only thing I could think of that would convince him that Jacob was harmless; to me anyway.

So I launched myself at Jacob. I must have taken him by surprise because he fell to the ground the moment my body collided with his.

"Bella!" Charlie screamed in fright. But Billy's stern voice held him in check. "Wait, Charlie," he commanded. "Just watch and see."

Once Jacob was on the ground I dove for his side, pushing with all my might in an effort to get him pinned on his back. Jacob's large wolf eyes had widened in shock when he first hit the ground, but then they sparkled with mischief once he figured out what I was doing. He happily played along. Being the Alpha, he wasn't one to be submissive to anyone, but those rules didn't seem to apply to me. He let me push, shove, tug and pull on his legs and his ears, all in an effort to try to let me have the upper hand.

I couldn't see Charlie but I heard Billy assure him, "See, now would a big bad wolf let your pint-sized daughter get away with that? He's not attacking her, Charlie. It's Jacob."

Jacob finally got back on his legs and started to really get into our play-fighting. We'd never done anything like it before. In fact, I had forgotten how much I loved spending time with him when he was in wolf form. It was like playing with a giant dog. I rushed him and he easily dodged me. It went on for a few more minutes until I felt flushed and out of breath. I took my eyes off of Jacob for a second to check on Charlie only to feel my russet wolf nudge me with his muzzle. I lost my balance and landed unceremoniously on my butt in the gravel driveway. Jacob's mouth opened in a large smile and his tongue lolled out the side.

I certainly wasn't surprised to find myself in that undignified position on the ground. I may have developed some amount of grace through my dancing, but I clearly wasn't immune to gravity's power over my balance. Jacob snorted and nuzzled my face in apology, though he couldn't hide the fact that his eyes were smiling. Billy's roaring laughter reminded me that we still had an audience. Jacob took another step towards me so that his front legs were straddling my body. He leaned in and gave me one giant lick up the side of my face. I just rolled my eyes at him and muttered a sarcastic, "Thanks," under my breath. He barked loudly and I just knew he was laughing.

At that point, Seth slowly walked up towards us and bowed his head. I smiled at his thoughtfulness and threw my arm around his neck, using him for leverage as I got to my feet. I brushed the dirt and gravel off of my pants and turned around towards the porch. Charlie looked like he was still in shock. Except at that point, the fear and distrust seemed to have vanished and was replaced with awe and surprise.

I leaned up against Jacob's sturdy frame while I stroked Seth gently behind his ear. "See Dad? They can change into wolves, but it's still Jacob and Seth. It's still them inside, at all times."

Charlie didn't say a thing. His eyes were filled with fury as he turned on his heel, storming back into the house. The front door slammed behind him. I sighed and pulled Jacob's muzzle towards me and gave him a quick kiss on his wet nose. "You guys get dressed and meet us inside. I have a feeling we're in for a long night."

When I walked into the house I found Charlie pacing back and forth like a wild man. I had hoped that my little stunt outside would have broken some of the tension. But instead, Charlie looked angry, scared and confused.

Charlie's eyes landed on me the moment I set foot into the house. I paused, unsure of his angry glare. And the very next moment, he was on me. He moved faster than I had thought was possible. My arms were locked in his vice-like grip. He shook me, the force jarring my teeth within my skull. "Jacob's a werewolf? What the hell is wrong with you, Bella? He could've hurt you, or…"

Jacob and Seth took that opportunity to enter the house. I didn't even have to look at Jacob to know that he was incensed. The anger radiated off of him. He was angry and scared. But, trying to explain that to an angry werewolf hell-bent on protecting his mate was another story.

Jacob placed a heavy hand on Charlie's shoulder. "You really need to let Bella go." The strain evident in his voice told me that he was hanging on by a thread.

Charlie's grip loosened, but he didn't let go. He turned his angry glare onto Jacob, "Are you threatening me?"

"No, I'm not. But, it's just not a good idea to put your hands on Bella like that. My control is great. But when it comes to Bella's safety, I can't make any promises."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? I'm her father. You're just a kid. Are you really trying to tell me that you care more about my daughter's safety than I do? It's my job to protect her!" Jacob backed off, but I knew that it pained him to do so. We were young, but my father didn't understand the depth of our relationship; a love that had only been made stronger through the bonds of imprinting.

"You're right," Jacob said grudgingly. "But you know that I love her more than anything. I want to protect her too"

"As far as I can see, you're the only thing she needs protection from. You know what, I've seen enough. Bells, get your things. We're going home. And so help me if I ever see that boy around our house again I'll…I'll…"

"You'll do what, Charlie?" Billy asked, "Shoot him? That's my son you're talking about old _friend_."

"Alright, that's enough!" I shouted. "There is entirely too much testosterone in here. "Let's just calm down."

"I don't like this at all, Bells. I don't know what's happening. I feel like you're being torn away from me and there's nothing I can do about it. For the first time in my life, I'm truly scared. And I don't like the feeling at all. Everyone I care about has been lying to me. I don't know what I'm supposed to believe anymore."

"I know how you're feeling, Dad. Really, I do. But, we're still the same people. Some of us just get a little…hairy."

Charlie's face flashed in annoyance. "Don't make light of this situation, Bells."

"I'm sorry. I just…please just trust me."

"You're really asking me to trust you right now?"

"You're right. It was a poor choice of words. Just, please sit down. We have a lot of stuff to talk about. Give me a chance to earn back your trust."

Just when I thought I had gotten through to Charlie, his anger flared again. "Sit down? You want me to sit down after," he pointed towards the front door, "after that? Get your things, Bella. We're going home."

"Charlie, don't overreact," Billy interjected. "I understand that you're angry, but…"

"Overreact?" Charlie roared in response. "Angry? That's a god damned understatement. Your son's a wolf! Oh my god!" his voice cut off abruptly and his body stiffened. He swallowed hard trying not to choke on his words. "Last year, all those missing hikers, the huge growth spurts, the gangs on the Rez, it's all making sense. And you just let it go." Charlie's furious gaze was focused solely on Billy. "You let my daughter get involved with a homicidal maniac."

Charlie was crazed. His voice was venomous. "I'm taking my daughter the hell out of here and then I'm going to the highest authority possible and reporting you; all of you." Charlie reached for my arm and snarled, "You're never to see that…_boy_ again!"

I cowered behind Jacob, narrowly avoiding my father's grasp. Jacob shielded me with his body and though he remained visibly calm, his voice was laced with tension. "That's not going to happen, Charlie."

Before things could get even more heated, Billy's voice boomed with anger and power, "Charlie, _sit down_!" The command in Billy's voice left no doubt that he intended to be obeyed. I couldn't help but thinking that if the Cullens had been around when Billy was young, he would have made an incredible Alpha. Charlie looked on, stunned.

Billy's voice softened, but remained firm. "You've insulted me, my family and my people. Now, I'm willing to forgive that, on account of our long friendship and that you don't know the whole story. But, I suggest you sit down now before you try my patience even further."

We made our way back into the living room. My father sat down immediately, not wanting to piss Billy off even. He had unwittingly sat down next to Sue on the couch. The moment he realized it, he flinched, as if the close proximity burned him. Sue's face fell in disappointment, but she maintained her distance, giving Charlie the space he so obviously needed.

Billy sighed at the obvious breach between his two dearest friends. "We didn't tell you anything because, though you've been my closest friend for years, by tribal standards, you are still an outsider." Charlie's eyes widened and his mouth fell open to speak.

"And before you argue," Billy continued, "we did not drag Bella into anything. Jacob here told her our tribe's secrets, long before he knew any of it was true. They've developed a…bond that prevents Jacob from keeping the truth of his nature from her. She was destined to know the truth. And well, let's face it; your daughter has a knack for getting herself into trouble all on her own."

It was my turn to raise my voice in protest. But after seeing the glint in Billy's eyes, I couldn't help but sigh and quietly agree. After all, knowing my track record, Billy wasn't wrong. Jacob gently squeezed my thigh reassuringly.

"Then why now?" Charlie asked in frustration. "If I'm an outsider, why are you letting me in now? What's different?"

"I thought it would have been obvious." Billy frowned.

Sue finally spoke. "Charlie, Billy is the Chief of our tribe. And, Jacob is the Alpha of the Pack. They are responsible for the safety and protection of our people. According to tribal law, it's forbidden to tell outsiders. But, that's not what you are Charlie, not anymore. As my husband, you'll officially become a member of the tribe. I love you. And, I couldn't marry you knowing that I was keeping a part of my life, of who I am from you. Billy and Jacob agreed that it was an old, obsolete tradition to keep you in the dark. We're telling you all this now because I can't live with myself, and I can never be happy if I have to lie to you anymore."

Sue was a stoic woman, hard and resolved on the outside, but soft and warm within. But, as she finished speaking, it was obvious that tears were spilling down her worried face. It was heart-wrenching to see such a strong woman look so vulnerable.

My father was not unmoved by Sue's tears. But, he was so overwhelmed that he couldn't be moved to offer her comfort. The room grew quiet. There was so much to be said, and yet no one wanted to say a word.

After several long minutes, Charlie finally broke the tense silence. "So, you're wolves." It wasn't a question, but a statement of fact, like Charlie had resigned himself into believing that the impossible was possible.

"Yeah," was all Jacob could say.

"So you're not a bunch of homicidal killers?"

"We're not monsters, Charlie. When I turn into a wolf, I'm still me. You saw me out there with Bella. I'm not a killer. We're not made to hurt people. We're here to protect our people, including those hikers who were killed."

"Some protection," Charlie muttered, "they still ended up dead."

Jacob grimaced under the weight of the unspoken accusation. Every member of the Pack took those deaths personally. They saw them as a failure on their part to do their job.

"We were fewer then," Jacob said. "That's not an excuse, but we didn't know exactly what we were dealing with at the time. But, the lee…we took care of the real killers. We're good at what we do. And, there are more wolves now to do patrols. We don't just protect our people but the people of Forks, too."

"You can't just run around like you're vigilante superheroes, Jake! If you knew what was happening to those people, you should have come to me." Charlie glared at Billy and Sue. "You all should have come to me. There are…proper channels to go through. It should have been handled by the police, not a bunch of teenagers running around like rabid dogs!"

It felt as though things were quickly getting out of hand. I could see Jacob's temper flaring under the calm façade he projected. "Charlie," he spoke calmly, "We're the only ones who can protect the innocent from this threat. We're the only ones…_equipped_ with the right tools to get the job done. We're here to make sure that no one else has to die…or suffer a fate worse than death."

"Worse than death," Charlie repeated. "What the hell are you talking about? What could be worse than that?"

"Becoming a monster," was Jake's terse reply.

"And here we go, back to the monsters. Could you guys just spit it out already? This is confusing enough as it is."

Jacob could see that Charlie was frustrated. "It's the Cold Ones, Charlie. You know, the monsters from our tribal stories? They're real too. A family of them moved into town. They were allowed to stay because they didn't kill people, just animals to survive. Unfortunately for us, the fact that the Cold Ones lives so close to us is what activated our wolf genes. Had we known, we would've run the family out of town, to hell with the treaty."

"Sam was the first one to phase and when younger members of the tribe started to phase after him, he took us under his wing and showed us how to deal with this new life. But he also taught us how to hunt and kill the Cold Ones, the monsters who killed those hikers and who threatened our people."

Charlie shook his head. "Now, slow down, Jacob. You keep saying these _Cold Ones_ are the real threat. What the hell does that mean? What exactly are you…_wolves_ made to fight."

"Vampires, Charlie," Jacob sighed, "we were born to kill vampires."

"Vampires?" I bit my bottom lip out of nervous habit. Jacob had just said the 'V' word and Charlie barely flinched. Instead, he said, "Vampires; as in creatures of the night, Dracula and Holy Water? How exactly are werewolves supposed to fight that?"

"We're not really werewolves, Charlie. You can call it tribal magic if you want, but we're actually shape-shifters. And these vampires are nothing like what you've seen in the movies. Their skin is like impenetrable stone. You can't stake them in the heart; you can't even cut their heads off. The only thing strong enough to destroy them is our teeth and claws when we're in wolf form."

I was waiting for Charlie to explode. The wheels started turning in his mind and his face got redder and redder. I knew he was connecting the dots in his head and he did not like where the answers were leading him. I took a deep breath, like I was going to dive into a deep pool and didn't know exactly when I'd be able to come back up for air.

"Jacob, you said a family of vampires moved in a couple of years ago, didn't you?"

"Yeah," Jacob nodded grimly, "I did." He was fully aware that Charlie had already put the pieces together.

"The Cullens," he gasped, "they're the family of vampires, aren't they?" His eyes roamed around the room before finally settling on me. Because of the treaty, Jacob technically couldn't "out" the Cullens. But, I could. Sure, the Volturi had ordered me to remain silent. But, Jake was right. My father was already in danger simply due to his relationship to me. What more damage could it do? I already knew that if the Volturi got their way, it wasn't just me who would suffer. Keeping Charlie in the dark wouldn't protect him when the Volturi showed up at his door to collect their payment. So I had to be the one to put that burden on my father.

"Yes," I answered lamely. "The Cullens are vampires."

My father's mouth opened in disbelief. He had already come to that very conclusion but it was quite another thing to hear it confirmed, out loud. I could see the fury and distrust in his eyes. His face got redder and redder and his hands were clenched into tight fists. "How long have you known, Bells?"

I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the look of disappointment on his face. "How long have you known?" he repeated impatiently.

I sighed in defeat. The time for lies and half-truths was over. The best way to start was with the truth. "By the time Edward and I were dating, I knew."

"You knew you were dating a Vampire!" he roared incredulously and then added, "Oh God. Who says that? My daughter knowingly dated a _vampire_."

"I loved him, Dad," I mumbled under my breath, "I didn't care what he was."

"And here I was telling Billy that he was being a jerk for being so mean to The Cullens. When all along he knew what I didn't. They're a family of monsters."

"No, Dad. That's not true. Yes, they're vampires. But, they didn't choose this life. It happened to them. And they all choose to make a family and to only eat animals. They don't hunt or kill people. That's why Jacob and the Pack don't hurt them. Jacob's grandfather made a treaty with them over seventy years ago. As long as the Cullens don't bite or hurt humans, the wolves can't and won't attack them."

"Seventy years? You mean they're all seventy years old?"

"No, that's just when their family first came to Forks. Some of them are a lot older than that."

"And Edward," he grimaced, "how old is he?"

"Well, he's about…a hundred and nine."

Charlie took a deep breath, "One hundred and nine. So, not only was your last boyfriend a bloodsucking fiend, but he's also a pedophile?"

"Dad, come on. He was turned into a vampire at seventeen. He may have been around a while, but he's still a teenage boy at heart."

"Like that's supposed to be reassuring? Not really making it sound any better, Bells," was his terse reply. "So," he began after a moment of silence passed between us, "my daughter put her very life in the hands of a bunch of vampires; vampires who do drink blood?"

I nodded.

"And, I'm just supposed to be okay with that?"

"It wasn't like that, Dad. Edward loved me. His family loved me. Hell, Edward left me to keep me safe because he didn't trust himself or his family not to hurt me again."

Charlie rolled his eyes in annoyance. "So, I'm just supposed to thank them for abandoning my daughter out of the blue and leaving a zombie in her place? Yeah, not gonna happen, kiddo."

"I'm just trying to show you that despite what they are, they're still caring people."

"People," he raged. "They're not people at all. They're vampires! That's not normal, Bells." He ran his hands through his hair. "My God, this whole conversation is not normal!"

"I know that, Dad. But, Jacob's a wolf. That doesn't necessarily fall under the norm either. But, it doesn't change who he is."

"Look, I didn't say I was okay with that either, but if we're talking about the lesser of two evils I'd pick Jacob any day."

"Gee, _thanks_," Jacob chimed in drolly.

"Shut up!" My father and I shouted at the same time.

"Sheesh," Jacob muttered under his breath.

Charlie was angry, frustrated, and thanks to Jacob's flippant attitude, thoroughly annoyed. And all of a sudden, his demeanor changed. He froze, looking wide-eyed and terrified. "Back up a minute," he said. "You said that Edward's family left so that they wouldn't hurt you _again_."

My heart sunk. I was busted. I wanted to tell Charlie the truth, but I didn't want to burden him with the details of my botched eighteenth birthday party, or anything else that he had no power to change.

"Phoenix," he whispered breathlessly. The next thing I knew, he shot up in a flash heading for the front door. "What did that punk kid do to you, Bella? Did he put you in the hospital?"

I had never seen that kind of fury in Charlie's eyes. "Dad, no, please stop."

Billy wheeled himself towards the door. "As much as I hate the Cullens, they didn't do that to your daughter. Please sit back down."

Instead of taking a seat, Charlie paced around and then whirled on me. "I'm tired of sitting around and letting you get beat down by this family. I knew I didn't like them before. But, now that I know what they are, I should've killed them. If they loved you so much, how could they let Edward do that to you?"

"Dad, Edward saved my life in Phoenix!" I practically screamed. Charlie stopped in his tracks and looked deep into my eyes, searching for the truth of my words. When he was convinced that I was telling the truth, he sat back down. "What did he need to save your life from, Bells? What aren't you telling me?"

"I didn't want to run away, Dad. It kills me every day to know how much I hurt you that night when I told you I wanted to leave. I didn't. I'm sorry I hurt you. But, I was…I was in danger. Earlier that day, I was hanging out with Edward and his family when a group of other vampires showed up. They weren't like the Cullens. They didn't stick to the animal-only diet. They…they hunted and killed people."

I waited for Charlie to say something, but he just sat there, stone-faced and silent. "There was this one guy, named James. He was a tracker. And once he fixated on something, he didn't stop until he had it. Well, I guess a human hanging out with a group of vampires was too interesting for him to pass up. So, he and his girlfriend Victoria decided to hunt me, while their friend Laurent took off."

Billy chuckled, "Sounds like the cast of characters from Masterpiece Theater, doesn't it old man?"

"That may be," I continued, annoyance prevalent in my voice, "but the threat was real. Edward was going to take me away forever that night because he was convinced that James would never stop until he had killed me. I convinced Edward to make it look like I was going to visit my mom and leave Forks for good, so that he would get off my trail. That whole fight we had was for show. James was lurking near the house and could hear every word. I had to convince him that I was leaving for good and that I didn't care about you so that he would leave you alone. I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you."

"But why didn't you come to me, Bells? I could've protected you. You didn't have to shut me out and say all those…well, you didn't have to run away like that." I knew what Charlie was going to say and even though he edited himself, it didn't ease my guilt. I had said hurtful things to him that night, things that I would never forgive myself for. Even if I knew they weren't true, and even though I came back, Charlie must have thought I still felt that way after all this time.

"Dad, you don't understand. It's like Jacob said. These aren't your run of the mill Hollywood vampires. They can walk in the sunlight. A wooden stake to the heart won't hurt them. If they bite you, just one bite from their teeth transfers venom that burns for three days before you die and then wake up as one of them. They don't need an invitation to come into your home and murder you in your sleep. You couldn't have done anything to protect me. So, I had to run away."

Charlie didn't want to believe that he was helpless to protect his only daughter. "What happened in Phoenix, Bells?"

I sighed heavily. Just thinking of James sent chills down my spine and made me scratch the crescent-shaped scar on my hand. "James caught up with me. He bit me and the Cullens killed him."

Charlie glanced down at the odd scar I had received that day. He never understood how that could have resulted from a fall through a window, but he had been so happy to have me back that he hadn't been one for questioning. His face paled in realization. "But, you said the venom…that you would be one of…" his voice trailed off, unable to vocalize his fears.

"I would have been, Dad. But, Edward saved me. He sucked the venom out. The Cullens made up that cover story about me falling because James did a number on me. But, I'm fine. I'm still me."

My father didn't seem convinced. He looked at me long and hard before he was satisfied that I was really alright. "So, you're not going to turn into a…turn into one of them?"

"No, I promise."

He sighed and relaxed back into the couch. "I never did like that kid, but his family always seemed alright. And, Alice was so helpful to you when you were hurt. But, I can't deal with the fact that they're," he paused searching for the right thing to say, "blood-suckers, for lack of a better word."

Billy and Jacob snickered at Charlie's apropos sentiment. I, on the other hand was annoyed that they were making light of a serious situation. My angry glare seemed to do the trick and Billy chastised his son, "Now Jacob, stop being so immature."

I chose to ignore their childish behavior and returned to the conversation at hand. "Dad, come on. You like Carlisle…and Alice. You're the one who always told Billy that they shouldn't judge just because they were different."

"Like them?" he roared. "As you just pointed out, I don't even know them! These people have been lying to me for years, not to mention putting my daughter in harm's way." He stood up again, glaring at the room in general.

"That's it. I'm putting my foot down. As far as I'm concerned, young lady, you're grounded…from now on…for _life_! I don't care. I'm going to lock you up in your room and never let you out. I can't believe this. You're such a smart girl. How the hell could you get yourself mixed up with this? You're not going anywhere and those Cullens aren't to set foot near my house again!"

"Dad you can't lock me up in a tower. I'm pretty sure there are laws against it. We're in the 21st Century."

"We are?" he asked desperately, "because it feels like I'm living in an alternate reality; or some crappy teenaged book series."

I ignored his jab at teenage angst and stood up and faced him, unflinchingly. "In case you haven't noticed, Dad, I don't really live with you anymore."

Charlie's face went pale. "In fact," I continued, "not only do I live on campus, but I'm an adult. And let's face it; you can't keep me locked in my home." My anger slowly dissipated when I saw the fear in my father's eyes. "I don't want to leave, Dad. I know I need to be held accountable for my actions, but locking me up isn't going to change anything. And I wouldn't want to put any added strain on our relationship anyway."

"Besides," Jacob added calmly. "As much as I hate it, we actually need the Cullens. There's something coming that's bigger than all of us. And we need all the help we can get."

"What the hell could be going on that you'd need _them_ to help you?"

"I think Bella can explain that better than we can." Billy eyed me pointedly. I suppressed a growl, because I knew he was right. I just didn't like being put on the spot like that.

"It's a long story," I sighed.

"Then give me the abridged version," Charlie growled.

I took a deep breath because I was in danger of losing my temper. I didn't appreciate Charlie snapping at me. I had to keep reminding myself to imagine what my father was going through. I knew none of this was easy for him to hear. "Well, if you want the abridged version, here it goes. Edward left me to protect me. And after a series of unfortunate events and misunderstandings that would put Romeo and Juliet to shame, Edward thought I had died. And, because he still loved me, he didn't want to live if I was dead. So, he decided to kill himself."

"Kill himself?" Charlie asked, completely stunned.

"It's not easy to kill a vampire. And short of walking into fire, they can't exactly kill themselves. But they have a governing body, a group of three vampires who rules over the vampire world. Edward went to them to see if they would kill him. So, when I found out what was going on, I flew out there to stop him."

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. What do you mean you flew out there? Where did you go? Where do these vamps live that you had to fly?"

"Italy," I replied.

"Italy!" Charlie roared in disbelief. "You mean, last year, when you disappeared for three days you left the _country?_ That's insane, Bella! Do you have any idea what could have happened to you? I had no idea where you were or what could have happened that could make you leave…_again_! I came home from work to find you gone and Jacob waiting for me on the front porch, full of vague answers and looking as though someone had just died. And now I come to find out that you were not only out of state, but across the world!"

"Dad, please calm down," I pleaded. "I know you're upset. A part of me will always regret taking off like that." I hadn't realized the truth of that statement until that very moment. If I would've stayed home, like Jacob begged me to, I never would have flown under the Volturi's radar. But, I couldn't bring myself to regret saving Edward. I wasn't in love with him anymore, but I still cared about him deeply. Besides, he didn't deserve to die at the hands of the Volturi, thousands of miles away from his family; the people he loved. And, I knew that he was meant for much more in this life; possibly more than he even knew.

Charlie was seething with rage. "What the hell happened in Italy, Bella?"

There was no easy way to tell a father that his only daughter was living with a death sentence over her head. But, there was no beating around the bush with him anymore. He needed to know the truth, and I needed to get the heavy weight off my chest. He couldn't do anything to help me, but he could at least share the burden with me. I knew it was selfish of me to think that way. But, more than ever before, in that moment I wanted nothing more than for my father to take care of me; to ease my worried mind.

"Well, obviously I got there in time to save Edward. But, these governing vampires, they're called The Volturi. They have laws that they enforce in the vampire world. And the first and foremost of these laws is that humans aren't supposed to know about the existence of vampires." I stayed quiet for a moment to let that information sink in. I knew the moment it had because Charlie's face turned red and he looked like he was about to explode.

"But that means…" he stuttered. "That you…"

"Yes. The Volturi would have killed all of us right then and there, because I was human and Edward wasn't supposed to have told me about him or his family. The main leader, Aro, he said that we could leave only if I was turned; if I became a vampire like them."

Charlie stood up and shouted, "Oh my God, Bella. What did you do?" Charlie was on the verge of tears.

"I agreed to his terms. I said that I would become a vampire and he let us go."

Charlie sank back into the couch in despair. "How could you do this Bella? How could you throw your life away like that?"

"At the time, I honestly didn't have a choice. And, it seemed like the logical thing to do. I wanted to be with Edward forever. I was in love with him. I didn't want to grow old and die, knowing that he would be young, and forever without me."

"You didn't want to…" Charlie screamed in frustration, unable to get all the words out. His hands tore into his hair. "You didn't want to grow old and die? Bells, that's life. That's what's supposed to happen. You're supposed to be my smart, mature daughter. How could you be so…deluded?" I flinched under the force of his anger. But I couldn't blame him. I knew I deserved it, and more. Unfortunately, Jacob wasn't of like mind. He stood up and towered over Charlie who shrank into his seat. Jacob growled angrily.

"You need to relax, Charlie. This isn't helping."

Charlie looked at Jacob as if he didn't even recognize him. "Relax? My daughter just told me that she is either going to be turned into a vampire or die. How the hell am I supposed to relax?" He turned his gaze back towards me. "How could you do it, Bella? How could you so willingly offer to give up your life to be with…with that…boy?"

I looked down at my hands which hung limply in my lap. I couldn't bear the look of disappointment in Charlie's eyes. "I've made a lot of mistakes, Dad. I did a lot of things I'm not proud of. But I can't change any of it. There's no going back."

The whole room was locked in silence. Sue remained stoically by Charlie's side lending her support without having to utter a single word. Seth sat on the floor, looking miserable and completely unnoticed. Jacob returned to his place by my side and took my hand in his. His eyes conveyed nothing but love and support. I squeezed his warm hand in return, thankful for his reassuring touch.

The silence was broken by Charlie's adamant declaration, "No," he said. "I'm not letting those bastards win without a fight. I don't care if they're invincible. Everything's got a weakness." He turned his dark eyes on me; eyes that were so much like my own. "I'm not going to let them hurt you, Bells. Not on my watch."

Billy grinned wickedly. "That's all we needed to hear my friend."

We spent the next hour or so going over the threats, both blatant and implied that the Volturi had given us. Charlie gave us his rapt attention, even when I explained the whole faux "break-up" debacle that happened the previous fall. Explaining that Volturi agents in the area forced me to put on the charade that Edward and I were a happy, engaged couple, didn't exactly endear me to my father. Though he did apologize to Jacob for being so hard on him when he thought that he was the one who had broken up with me.

Of course, that led into the whole imprinting discussion which weirded Charlie out almost more than the vampire thing. But, all in all, I thought that a part of him was happy to know that he would never have to deal with the reappearance of "Zombie Bella."

We told Charlie everything. We told him about the most recent letter Aro had sent and explained the Cullens' abilities. Jacob explained in great detail about the training sessions the wolves and vampires had to ready themselves for the inevitable fight.

By the time Jacob was through highlighting our battle strategy, Charlie was ready to enlist. It took a lot of convincing on Billy's part to get him to agree that his place wasn't in the front lines, but to protect the citizens of Forks. He agreed to meet with Billy the following day to devise an emergency evacuation plan for the city in the event that the Volturi brought the fight to us.

When all was said and done, Charlie seemed to be relieved that he was at least doing something. He didn't like feeling helpless any better than the rest of us. I couldn't help but notice that Charlie had a hard time meeting my eyes. And that was not reassuring.

"Well, it's getting late," Billy said. "I need to get home." Jacob nodded and got up to wheel his father towards the front door. Billy reached out to Charlie and patted him on the arm. "Call me, if you need anything…or if you just need to talk." Charlie simply nodded.

Seth jumped up from the floor. "Billy, is it okay if I stay at your place tonight?"

Sue didn't object so Billy said it was fine with him. Seth shot out of the house in a flash. The sound of a car door slamming was the only indication that he was quietly waiting for us to get in the car.

Jacob helped Billy out of the house and told me to take my time. We had planned a quiet evening alone at my house, but I was pretty sure that those plans had been utterly ruined at that point.

Sue stood up and quietly said, "I'll leave you two alone." She walked by Charlie, her shoulders slumped. Before she could get too far, Charlie reached out and grabbed her hand. "I'll be with you in a minute."

Sue's responding smile was a mile wide and filled with hope. She squeezed his hand and retired to her bedroom leaving me and Charlie alone in the living room. My dad stood with his back towards me, still staring at the door behind which Sue had disappeared.

"Don't be mad at her, Dad. She had to keep this a secret."

"Never mind that, Bella. What I can't get over is the fact that you've been lying to me from day one." He turned his dark eyes on me and I forced myself not to cower. "You've been putting your life in danger from the start. I could have lost you so many times and I never would have known why."

"I'm so sorry, Dad." Tears welled in my eyes. But before they could spill down my face, Charlie grabbed me and wrapped me in a suffocating bear hug.

"I love you, Bells," he said, choking back his own tears. "I don't know what I would've done if I would've lost you. You can't lie to me anymore." He released me from his embrace and held me by my shoulders. "Actually, feel free to keep on lying to me about anything and everything you do with Jacob. I'm perfectly happy to live in ignorant bliss on that topic." He grinned and I chuckled, wiping the tears from my eyes. "But, kiddo," he continued seriously. "All the lies, they have to stop here. We're in this together. Don't shut me out."

I felt a surge of warmth spread throughout my body at my father's words. Whether I wanted it or not, he counted himself as part of this mess, because of his love for me. I felt terrible that I had brought this burden into his life. But I couldn't help but feel good that my father, the man who kissed my skinned knees as a child was still there for me when I needed him most.

After we dropped off Billy and Seth, we headed back to my house in complete silence. I replayed the evening's events, over and over in my head. I had been on a roller coaster of emotion. I had been so happy about Sue and Charlie's engagement, only to have that moment of joy get torn away by harsh reality.

I had wanted to establish a meaningful relationship with my father ever since I moved to Forks. But, if I was being honest with myself, I had done a crap job of it. I had kept him at a distance and lied to him on a near daily basis. Life as I had known it was going to completely change.

Regardless of the emotion Charlie displayed before I left, he was still angry; feeling betrayed. I had a lot to make up for and figured it would be a long road. But, eventually, my father and I would reach an understanding, and a deeper, closer relationship. Besides, I thought to myself. It could have been worse. Charlie could have shot Jacob. And that probably would have put a strain on things. I shook my head, unable to hide the smile generated by those thoughts.

"What are you smiling about?" Jacob asked.

My smile grew wider in response to his curious gaze. "Oh nothing," I hedged briefly. "I was just thinking how you're lucky Charlie didn't shoot you."

He rolled his eyes, feigning offense. "Please, he wouldn't have shot me. He loves me. Plus, now that he knows the choice is between me and a blood-sucking vampire, I think I'll be back in his good graces in no time."

"You're pretty confident about that, are you?"

His eyes shot towards me in mock concern. "Are you feeling okay, Bells? Seriously, have you seen me lately? I'm awesome. You know it, your Dad knows it. Everyone knows it."

"Oh God," I moaned. "Can you just hurry up and get us home?"

"Why? You're in that much of a hurry to have your wicked way with me?" His foot pressed down harder on the accelerator.

"There's not enough room in this car for us and your ego. I'm afraid I might suffocate before we get there."

Jacob laughed and reached over to squeeze my thigh. My pulse began to race from the heat of his touch. "Not to worry, Bella," he replied. "I'll just have to give you some thorough mouth to mouth resuscitation."

I couldn't help but laugh at his charming arrogance. "My hero," I said dryly.

"Better believe it."

By the time we pulled up to my driveway, the skies had opened up and rain began to pour. We ran for the front door, but Jacob was much too fast. He smacked my ass as he ran past me and hollered, "Immature people are going to be in the shower right now…in case you want to join them."

He barreled in to the house. I stood on the porch, shaking my head at his antics. Leave it to him to throw my immature behavior at Sue's house back in my face. Of course, joining him in the shower sounded like a mighty fine ending to an eventful day.

I made a move to follow him inside when my attention was directed towards the mailbox. A crisp white envelope stuck half way out; a glaring brightness amidst the gloomy rain. I removed the letter from the box and noted that it was blank. There was no address, no postmark; nothing. The paper felt thick and heavy, clearly expensive. It looked like it could've been a wedding invitation it was such fine quality.

I glanced around, not really knowing what I was looking for, but hoping I'd find a clue as to who might have left the card. I didn't want to open it if it was meant for Charlie, but something about it kept drawing my curiosity.

I turned the envelope over in my hands and noticed a dark, red wax seal. And my heart nearly jumped from my chest. A cold sweat broke out over my forehead and my palms. Imprinted in the red wax seal was the letter "V." My blood ran cold.

I carefully opened the envelope and removed a thick card. There was only one word written on it, and the ink was the reddish brown color of dried blood. The card shook in my hand, but the message and intent were clear.

_Soon._

**A/N: I just want to apologize to all my readers for the long delay. Honestly, it's been hard for me to stay motivated about writing this story. Luckily, I've had support and encouragement to keep going. But, I've had to reach a compromise. I'm not going to write the sequel I had initially planned. However, that should mean that I'll have more exciting material to include in this story. I will try my best to stay motivated and get the remaining chapters out to you as soon as possible. Thank you all for your patience.**

**I'd also like to give a special thanks to Neha who reads and rereads my chapters and helps me do my best. This chapter would definitely not have gotten out if it weren't for her incessant persistence. And I thoroughly appreciate it. **


	41. Chapter 41

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do not.**

**A/N: As usual, I would like to thank EVERYONE who read and reviewed the last chapter. I would also like to thank the following "anonymous" reviewers because I couldn't reply to you directly: manadog93, megan39, ninny, kc, isipare, Anony, twilightlover212, twilightfansince2009, Anonymous, Emily, liana, Angel, ajaxmom, jazz88 and chassy**

_**Previously in Coming Full Circle: Sue & Charlie announced their engagement, prompting Bella to let Charlie in on the secrets about the wolves and vampires. Charlie is pissed at being lied to by his daughter, but angrier about the fact that The Cullens, who he now knows to be vampires, have put his daughter's life in danger. When Bella and Jake go back to Charlie's house for the night, Bella finds an ominously worded letter in her mailbox.**_

**CHAPTER FORTY-ONE **

I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that one tiny, insignificant word could change _everything_.

I stood on the front porch, clutching my death warrant in my shaking hands. I stared out into the pouring rain, feeling as though all my hopes and dreams were being washed away. Jacob burst through the front door fully dressed, his hair and skin still wet from the shower. I jumped, startled out of my mind by his sudden appearance. "Bells," he said. "What's with leaving me hanging up there?" He laughed, reaching for me and that's when he froze. "Honey, what's going on?"

I held up the card and he took it from me. Like me, he turned it over in his hands a few times and then said, "I don't get it."

I handed him the envelope with the wax seal and said, "It's them, Jake. It's the Volturi. They're coming."

It was the first time I had said it out loud, the truth and finality of the words sitting on my chest like a heavy weight. I had lived with the threat for so long, but to see it here, in my own home, in black and white letters, well overwhelming couldn't even begin to cover it. I looked towards the forest, my eyes scanning it frantically for invisible threats. I was shaking all over, not from the cold and the rain, but from the fear. Standing on my front porch, I felt like easy pickings. My heart raced and I feared I would pass out from the sheer overload of anxiety.

"Bells?" I jumped, startled by Jacob's voice, having nearly forgotten he was there for all my fear. He stooped down to my level, his dark eyes boring into mine. His warm hands caressed the sides of my face, his thumb brushed gently across my lower lip. I met his gaze, unable to look away. He was so strong, so brave in the face of all my fear and doubt.

"I'm not going to let them hurt you," he said fiercely. He pulled me towards him and I jumped up into his arms. He held me closely; so close that I could hear the reassuring beat of his heart against my chest. I gave myself up to his warm embrace, though I knew it wouldn't last; couldn't last. He kissed me desperately and thoroughly, leaving me breathless and lightheaded. He set me back down on my feet carefully. Fierce determination flared in his eyes. "Come on, Bells," he said. "We have to go."

As soon as we got into the car, Jacob told me we were headed to the Cullens' home. At first I was surprised, but then I realized that as much as Jacob disliked them, he recognized them as our only allies in this mess.

We were both on our phones as he drove to the other side of town. I called Alice and told her what was going on and that she should expect a pack of wolves on her doorstep any minute. Jacob arranged for the Pack and his father to meet us at the Cullens'. He also asked Sam to make sure that Brady and Colin (who were currently running patrols) checked the perimeter of my house. Jacob was doing the due diligence of an Alpha and making sure that whoever left the threatening note wouldn't have a chance to come back and catch us unawares again.

I ended the call with my father right as we pulled up to the Cullens' home. I had dreaded making that call, thinking I'd be rousing him from sleep. Jacob suggested that I just wait to call him in the morning. But, my gut told me that it was important that he know about this now. It couldn't wait. Besides, I had just spent the evening letting Charlie in on everything that had been going on with me over the past two years. It seemed counter-productive to revert to my old ways of lying and evasion. And ultimately, it came down to the fact that the Volturi had come to our home. Charlie needed to know that we were both in danger. So, I made the call.

Of course, I needn't have worried about waking him up. Charlie answered his cell phone after the first ring. He admitted that he hadn't felt much like sleeping. I could hardly blame him. I had dumped quite a few revelations on him over the course of a few short hours. He had just learned that the things that went bump in the night were real, and that they had teeth. That knowledge had kept me up many a night. I should have known it would be the same for my father.

He went into cop-mode and started asking me questions immediately. I didn't want to worry him more than necessary, so I kept my answers vague. He could tell that I was downplaying the severity of the situation and called me on it. I assured him that I would tell him everything, but that I wanted to see him in person first. I told him to meet me at the Cullens' house. I could tell he wasn't happy about it by his tone. But, he told me he was on his way and then he hung up.

I took a deep breath and looked up at the large mansion.

"Are you ready to go in there?" Jacob asked.

It felt like a loaded question. This building, this house used to be a sanctuary for me. But now, looking at it made me feel cold. It was a home belonging to vampires. And though I loved the vampires who lived within, I couldn't get past the thought that vampires wanted me dead.

I squeezed his hand and nodded. My gut told me that once we entered that house, nothing would be the same again. I was sure of it. I was terrified of what was to come. But there wasn't much I could do about that. I did the only thing I could do. I started walking.

I led Jacob through the front door. He stiffened immediately. I realized that he was holding his breath and I felt terrible for him. I always took for granted how hard it was for him to be in a house filled with vampires. But, he bore the discomfort without complaint and followed me into the living room.

My eyes widened in surprise at the sight that greeted me in the living room. The normally spotless, minimalist living room was bursting at the seams with people. The majority of the Pack was present. They occupied one side of the room, while the vampires occupied the other. The scene would have almost looked comical if it weren't for the dire circumstances in which we found ourselves.

Emmett sat on the far couch, his body sprawled in the definition of relaxation. His arm was thrown around Rosalie who sat beside him. They nodded and smiled at me as I entered, looking carefree. Only the fire in their eyes belied their true feelings. They were ready for a fight.

Carlisle and Esme stood to the side. Carlisle had his arm around Esme, comforting her. Their eyes were filled with parental concern.

Alice's lithe body was perched on the back of the couch. She nearly vibrated in place, so excited was she to see me. If not for Jasper's steady arm on her shoulder, I knew she would have flown to me in a second. But I was grateful for Jasper's restraining hand. I was on edge as it was, and the last thing I needed was for Jacob to lose it in a house filled with vampires because Alice couldn't keep her hands to herself.

It was clear that the other wolves were of like minds. The vampires were relaxed and at home in their own territory. But the wolves were restless and agitated. And rightfully so. Jacob had been here in the past, but the other wolves had not. Training sessions had always been conducted outside and on neutral ground. There was a tentative truce between the Cullens and the Pack, which was being tested there in that tense room.

Leah gave me a terse nod and her mouth was reduced to a thin line. Of all the wolves, she looked the most uncomfortable to be there, and she wasn't afraid to show it. Sam, Paul, Embry and Quil all stood close by, none of them deigning to sit down on the ample seating. They preferred to stand, senses on high alert. But as soon as Jacob and I entered the house, they all seemed relieved and much more at ease.

Though the Cullens living room was massive, it felt tiny with all the large bodies and personalities occupying every available space. The air was stifling and I was finding it hard to breathe. Jacob squeezed my hand, reminding me yet again that no matter what happened, we would go through it together. I sighed in relief and walked towards the middle of the room, right between the wolves and vampires.

I saw a copper-haired blur and then I felt Edward's presence at my side. "Bella, are you alright?" he asked, his features pained and his eyes filled with concern. His arms reached for me, but he hesitated, watching Jacob's reaction instead.

Jacob growled, unafraid of showing his displeasure with Edward's close proximity. Normally, that kind of behavior would have annoyed me, reminding me too much of the petty arguments and fights of the previous year when my personal confusion was tearing these two boys apart. But, considering the threat looming over our heads, I let it slide. We were all under a lot of pressure and even Jacob, who could put up with a lot, was being pushed to his limits.

Jacob pulled me close against his side, not as a display of possession, but because he knew I needed his reassuring warmth. Throughout the drive and the various phone calls, I hadn't had time to process everything. My stomach turned and my knees felt weak. I was relying on Jacob's strength to get me through the night.

It was yet another thing I would be eternally grateful for. Jacob couldn't shelter me from the frightening underbelly of the supernatural world in which we lived. So he didn't try. Instead, he stood by my side, ever vigilant, but with encouragement and hope. He made me feel as though we were partners in this fight, something Edward never did. Edward watched us, and for the first time in my life it felt as though he was reading my very thoughts. He looked us both over and then he nodded in acceptance, understanding that I didn't want or need his comfort.

All eyes were focused on me; vampire and wolf alike.

"I'm alright," I said to the room at large. "I'm just a little shaken up."

Carlisle stepped forward. "What happened?" he asked.

"That's what I'd like to know." I turned at the sound of my father's voice. He had just come in through the front door with Sue at his side. Billy was already wheeling himself into the living room, having entered the house ahead of them.

The worried look on my father's face made me want to run to him, give him a hug and reassure him that I was alright. And I almost did just that, but Edward's hand on my arm stopped me in my tracks. Jacob growled in warning.

"You told your father about us," Edward said. It wasn't a question. Based on Charlie's presence in his home and the fact that he could read his mind, Edward already knew what I had done. It didn't stop him from looking pissed off and confused.

Charlie was by my side faster than I thought possible. "Damn straight she _finally_ told me about you! Now take your hands off my daughter or so help me, I _will_ remove them for you."

"Oh Bella," Alice shook her head and frowned. "I wish you would have warned me."

My temper flared. "I didn't exactly have time to ask permission," I snapped. "My father has a right to know the truth. So, I told him."

Alice's golden eyes were wide with shock. I hadn't meant to snap at her or hurt her feelings. But, my life was in a state of utter chaos. I didn't know much about anything. But, I knew in my heart that telling Charlie about the wolves and the vampires was the right thing to do, regardless of what Edward or Alice thought.

Edward brushed off Charlie's threat, though he did release my arm. I thought it had more to do with the almost seven foot tall werewolf standing next to me as opposed to Charlie's stern voice. "Chief Swan," he began tightlipped. "Bella was told to keep our family secret as a matter of her personal safety. No humans are supposed to know of our existence. She kept the secret for two years. I'm just surprised to see…"

"That's right, she did," Charlie roared. He looked around the room, eyeing each and every one of the vampires with his keen eyes. "For _two years_ you all pulled the wool over my eyes. I defended you, to the Quileute, to the townspeople. I was your biggest supporter. And you've been lying to me every day."

"I know you must feel betrayed," Carlisle began. "But I assure you, we did it as a matter of necessity. The less people know about us, the less chance we have of hurting anyone."

"Yet, you thought it was perfectly acceptable to drag my daughter into your world?" Charlie's nostrils flared. He seemed to have grown in stature, looking more like a warrior than a small town police officer. I had never seen him like that before. He was ready for a fight. And he didn't seem to care that he would be facing off against seven, extremely powerful vampires.

"Edward and Bella were in love, Charlie." Esme's voice was soft and pleading. "We just wanted them to be happy; to be together."

"You should have left," Charlie roared. "I don't know why you need to be around people anyway. You don't want to reveal yourselves to humans, yet you all go to high school? What is that? You don't want to be tempted by blood, yet you surround yourselves around stupid, hormonal teenagers?" Charlie glared at Carlisle in particular. "I thought you were smarter than that."

"We did leave," Edward whispered. "We left last year to protect Bella; to keep her safe from our kind."

"Oh yeah," Charlie laughed darkly. "And how did that work out for you? Oh that's right, as I recall, it led to my daughter being brought directly to this Volturi group so that now she has a bounty on her head. Yeah, great move there, _kid_." He snarled the word, as if it left a bad taste in his mouth. Clearly, he didn't see Edward or the rest of the Cullens as anything but the monsters he thought they were.

My father was seething with rage. And to think I had been afraid of how he would react when I told him the truth. I feared his anger, his wrath. I needn't have bothered. He was ripping into the Cullens far more than he did to me. And the brunt of his anger was focused on Edward. He couldn't even look at him. Instead, he tried to channel his anger on Carlisle.

"No," Charlie continued, his face red and angry. "You should have left the moment you saw your son was getting close to someone. You should have left that first day. But you didn't. You allowed your son's selfish whims to ruin my daughter's life. You kept things from me. My daughter was nearly killed, numerous times. I have a feeling more times than she's even admitted to me." He looked at me sternly and I dropped my gaze, unable to meet his disapproving eyes.

"I don't care what my daughter says. She was young and impressionable. And you dazzled her with your…immortality and fairy-tale promises for the future. You made it so that she was so wrapped up in your world that she was willing to abandon her _real_ family."

Esme flinched and Carlisle made to comfort her. "Yeah, I've heard how you all wanted my daughter to be part of your family; that you were going to make her one of you. What were you going to do about me? You think I wouldn't have noticed that all of a sudden my daughter's eyes are golden, when they used to be brown? Or were you going to concoct some story and tell me that she was dead, so that I would mourn the rest of my life for a daughter I didn't even know?"

Tears began to fill my eyes. As angry as Charlie was, I couldn't deny that he was speaking the truth. I tried to compose myself. I knew he was speaking more from hurt than from anger.

"Charlie," Carlisle began, but my father held up his hand, effectively silencing the kind doctor.

"I don't want to hear it. You had no right to hold that much influence over my daughter. You isolated her from her friends and her family. You made her want to be different, instead of encouraging her to embrace who she already was. You made wild promises to her and then you abandoned her, making her feel like she wasn't good enough; wasn't good enough to be a monster." He shook his head. "I've dealt with a lot of cases like this in my line of work. And as far as I'm concerned, what you and your son did to my daughter is nothing short of abuse."

Esme gasped. If she could cry she would have, that's how distraught she looked.

"Charlie," Edward began, his teeth clenched in an effort to control his temper. "I know what you're thinking. And believe me I never wanted Bella to have this life." He looked into my eyes. His own were haunted. "I never wanted her to become a monster like me. I just thought…"

"You know what, Edward," Charlie interrupted him with a scathing tone, "I don't give a damn what you thought. You and your _family_ nearly destroyed my daughter's life. Your lies and deceit kept me from getting to know my only child. Your secrets made it impossible for her to confide in me, to help her. For Christ's sake she was nearly suicidal. She was a walking zombie. And it was all because of _you_." He glared at the vampires, my one-time family, with hatred and contempt. "I couldn't help my own daughter, because of her misplaced loyalty towards _you_. And look where that's gotten her. You…"

"Dad, please," I begged. I grabbed his arm and he turned towards me, his eyes wild with fury. "I know you're angry. And, you have every right to be. But, I'm the one who made the mistakes."

"Bells," he shook his head. "You were just a kid when these people came into your life. I'd expect this behavior from you. But, these people have been around for god knows how long. _They_ should have known better. They had no right…"

I cut him off, sensing that his rant could go on endlessly, he was so filled with anger. "But, none of that matters right now," I said. "Besides, I didn't ask you to come here to attack the Cullens."

"Well then what the hell am I doing here?" He threw his hands up in frustration.

I took a deep breath and looked to Jacob for strength. He nodded in encouragement. "Something happened tonight," I began. Charlie flipped from angry to concerned in a nanosecond.

"What happened?" he asked frantically. He grabbed my arms and looked me up and down. "Are you alright?"

"Physically, I'm fine." His eyes narrowed, like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. "But," I swallowed hard, "the Volturi threatened me tonight."

His eyes widened in shock and fear. "What?" he cried.

Jacob reached into his back pocket and produced the incriminating evidence. He showed it to Charlie and then handed if off to Carlisle who examined it closely. Jacob gave a brief explanation of how he found me on the front porch, the letter in hand. Edward sidled up to Carlisle and asked to examine the card himself. They shared a look.

"They came to my house?" Charlie roared disbelievingly. "What does it mean? What the hell does _soon_ mean?"

"Charlie," Sue rubbed his arm. "You need to calm down." Charlie looked like he wanted to argue. But instead, he took her hand and nodded.

Meanwhile, Carlisle and Edward had taken turns inspecting the card, searching for any scent that might reveal the perpetrator.

"Don't bother," Jacob said, rolling his eyes. "I already checked. There was no vampire stench on the thing. Whoever left it was human, and no one I recognize."

Carlisle nodded in agreement. He looked at Edward. And though Edward could read his mind, he spoke out loud so as not to exclude anyone from the conversation. "Son," he said, "do you think it's Gianna?"

Edward shook his head. "No, I would recognize her scent." He turned to Jacob and asked, "Did you scent any vampires outside the house?"

Jacob's brow furrowed in annoyance. "No, dipshit, I didn't." His voice dripped with sarcasm. "My girlfriend just got a threatening letter in the mail and I thought, hey, its one o'clock in the morning, let's go hang out with her ex-boyfriend and have a picnic. What do you think, jackass?"

Edward hissed in anger. I placed my hand on Jacob's chest. "That's not helping," I said.

Jacob calmed under my gentle reproach and looked at Carlisle, rather than Edward. "I didn't get a chance to sweep the surrounding area," his loving eyes rested on me before continuing, "for obvious reasons. I needed to get Bella the hell away from there. But, I didn't smell any vampire either in or around the house. Seth is out there patrolling now. I'm waiting for his report."

"Wait a minute," Embry said, looking as confused as the rest of the wolves. "You mean the Volturi use humans to do their dirty work? Wow, they _are_ evil."

"Well," said Edward, "in this case, it was obviously advantageous. A human was able to sneak through our defenses, undetected, and walk right up to Bella's front door. Bella is not safe here."

The room fell silent, pondering the implications of that statement. Edward was right. The Volturi had always threatened that they were all powerful. But the fact that they could invade the sanctity of my home, without detection, proved that their threats were not idle.

I was scared, rightfully so. Tonight had proven that despite reassurances to the contrary, I was no longer safe in my own home. How long would it take for that to be true in La Push? Jacob would die protecting me. But I couldn't live without him. So, where did that leave me? I felt my world of possibilities shrinking and closing in around me.

The tense silence was broken when Billy cleared his throat. "I have some news."

I took a shallow breath and looked at Jacob's father. His trademark smirk was gone from his face. He was all seriousness and I dreaded hearing even more bad news. Jacob, sensing my anxiety, wrapped me in his arms. I leaned back into his embrace, my back pressed against his hard chest. He kissed the top of my head. "It's going to be okay," he whispered. I nodded in acknowledgement, no energy left for words.

Billy addressed Carlisle and Jacob, recognizing the two leaders in the room. To his credit, Billy looked calm and not at all perturbed at being in the home of a bunch of vampires, which was more than I could say for some of the wolves. Paul in particular looked tense and agitated; just waiting for a fight. The sheer force of Jacob's will was the only thing keeping Paul in check.

"I don't have any resolution for our immediate problem," he said, looking pointedly at me. "But, I think I have a long-term solution."

"We're listening," Jacob said.

"A few weeks ago," Billy continued, "the Council did some extensive research into our tribal history. Our tribe has been protecting our people from vampires for generations. We thought it stood to reason that there might have been some mention of the Volturi in our records."

The wolves whispered amongst themselves, surprised and intrigued by the possibility that their ancestors may have had dealings with the Volturi. "Sadly," Billy said, shaking his head, "we didn't turn up any leads. But, we did find that the Quileute used to be in league with a few other tribes, other shape-shifters, who eventually migrated out east. Old Quil and I figured that if we could find these tribes, if we could convince them to help us, then we can defeat the Volturi once and for all."

"And," Jacob said impatiently.

Billy shook his head and continued, "Old Quil successfully located five other tribes of shape-shifting wolves. He spoke with their Alphas at length and discovered that we all share a common enemy. They've hunted vampires on their lands for generations. Old Quil told them about the Volturi and asked them if they would help. The request piqued their interest."

"Piqued their interest?" Jacob asked sternly. "Are they going to help us, or not?"

"Jake," I spoke as soothingly a possible. I was so emotionally drained and I knew he could hear it in my tone. Jacob stiffened but held his tongue. From the corner of my eye, I could see that Edward wanted to say something rude. I glared at him and his eyes immediately fell to the floor, his mouth stayed shut.

Billy wasn't distracted by any of that. "That depends on you, son," he sighed. "These tribes have their own concerns, their own people to protect. This is the first they've ever heard of the Volturi. We're asking them to involve themselves in a war with a powerful enemy, when they're not even on that enemy's radar. It's a lot to ask them to risk their lives to save one woman who knowingly put herself in the path of danger."

"How can you even say that, Dad?" Jacob growled. He wrapped his arms around me protectively, as if his very embrace could keep the monsters at bay. I wouldn't lie to myself; it hurt to hear Billy say those things. I knew he didn't truly feel that way, at least not anymore. Had I remained with Edward, well, that would be a different story. I wanted to move on with my life. I wanted to be happy with Jacob. But every day, I was reminded over and over again about my past mistakes. They haunted me. It was a difficult burden to bear.

Billy shook his head. "You know I don't mean anything by that, Jacob. I love Bella like she was my own." He gave me his usual smile, the one that was so much like Jacob's, and it warmed my heart. "I'm in no way saying that Bella deserves this. I'm just want you to see things from their perspective. Just because they have the ability to help us, doesn't mean they'll be compelled to help. We can't force them."

Jacob shook, anger and frustration vibrated through his body. "Why wouldn't they want to help us? The risk is nothing in comparison to ridding the world of these murderers. Obviously Bella is _my_ main concern. But we all know that the Volturi murder thousands of innocent people every year. We can't just sit back and let it happen. We're all protectors. _They_ can't let it happen either"

"Well, it's your job to convince them of that. As far as they're concerned, this isn't their fight. They can't see the big picture. It's up to you to win them over. Because, without their help, I don't see how we're going to win this war."

"A war?" Charlie looked even more confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Chief," Jacob said, excitement clear in his voice, "we're fighting a war. And so far we've been outnumbered and outmanned. The Volturi want Bella. And I'm never going to let that happen. So the only option left to us is to kill each and every one of those bloodsuckers before they can kill us." Charlie's face went pale. Sue guided him towards the couch where he sat down with a huff.

"This could be the answer to our prayers," Jacob continued enthusiastically. "We've been sitting ducks this whole time. This letter proves that." He held the card up in his hand, the wax seal looking too much like dried blood for my taste. "I've said from day one that we should bring the fight to the Volturi, that we should take the offensive instead of sitting around and waiting for the deathblow. But, we didn't have the numbers before. We had our pack, the Cullens, and whatever vampire allies Carlisle could dredge up, scattered around the world. But, if we can team up with other wolves, wolves who know how to kill the vamps as well as we do, then we finally stand a real chance of fighting on our own terms."

Jacob stopped abruptly, excitement turned into anxiety as Seth came running into the house. He was sweating and out of breath. He wasn't fazed by the fact that all conversation had stopped upon his entrance. He jogged up to Jake, dispensed with pleasantries, and gave his report.

"I left Jared running patrols to give you an update," he said. "But, he could definitely use some backup."

Jacob nodded and glanced towards Embry who immediately left the house to join Jared. "Alright, Seth," he said. "What do you have for me?"

"Well, we searched the perimeter, and it's just like you said, we didn't smell leech anywhere."

Jacob gave Edward a self-righteous glare then turned his attention back to Seth. "Go on," he ordered.

Seth nodded. "Whoever left the letter was definitely human. We noticed tire treads on the street outside of Charlie's house. By the looks of them, they were most likely from a sports car because that guy high-tailed it out of there fast. Jared and I were able to follow his scent for a while, but the trail ended on the outskirts of town. The guy practically disappeared."

Emmett spoke up for the first time. "Not a problem for us, pup," he said. "Rose and I can track this guy down for you."

Seth, who was usually our level-headed wolf, growled and snapped at Emmett. "What," he said, "you don't think I know how to do my job? The guy is long gone. Besides, the Volturi would probably want us to follow the trail if we could. And while we're running off on a wild goose chase, they'll move in on Bella."

Emmett, completely taken aback by Seth's assessment muttered, "The pup's got a point."

Jacob nodded. "Seth's right. We don't have the available resources to spend tracking this guy down. The important thing is that you didn't scent any vampires."

Seth nodded. "Then," Jacob continued looking to Carlisle for agreement, "we drop it. The guy did what he came to do. He delivered his message and skipped town. We can't let our need for revenge affect our judgment. And we're not going to play into Aro's hands."

"Never," Edward whispered under his breath.

"Son," Carlisle said to Emmett, "Jacob is right. We can't worry about Aro's stunts. This is his M.O. He's trying to distract us. We can't fall for it, not when Bella's life is at stake."

"So what do we do now?" My voice was so hoarse from disuse that I hardly recognized it.

It was Carlisle who answered. "The only thing we can do right now is buy some time. Aro is using scare tactics. He holds all the power and he knows it. He's playing us, testing us. He's fishing for our weaknesses. He's trying to force us to play our hand early. And when we do, the Guard will swoop in and Bella will be gone. We need to do something he wouldn't expect. We need to get Bella into hiding."

"Wait…what?" I asked dumbfounded. "You want me to run away? Isn't that exactly what he would expect me to do? Besides, I thought running away was impossible. Can't Demetri track me anywhere in the world?"

"Who the hell is Demetri?" Charlie cried.

I sighed. Telling Charlie all my secrets hadn't necessarily involved every minute detail. There was still a lot he didn't know or understand. "He's part of the Volturi's arsenal," I said. "He's an advanced tracker. He has the ability to track anyone, wherever they are on the face of the earth." Charlie's face paled.

Alice and Carlisle shared a look. "Well," Alice said. "We've been doing some research on that. The thing is we don't think Demetri _can_ see you. He's been looming over us as this all-seeing threat. And that's exactly what Aro wants us to believe. Of course he won't admit it. Our fear gives him the advantage; it leaves us at his mercy. But, we believe he's blind to you, just as Aro, Jane and Edward are."

"But, how can you possibly be sure about that?" It sounded too good to be true and I was hard pressed to believe we could catch a break like that.

"Well, we're not absolutely sure," Carlisle admitted grudgingly. "We can't exactly test the theory. But we do know this, The Volturi suspect that there is a rift between you and Edward. Alec and Jane would have advised Aro as much. But, they don't know that you and Edward are no longer together. And they certainly have no reason to believe that there is anyone else. Aro is arrogant. He believes that vampires, especially those with special abilities are the master race. The fact that you would choose to be with anyone other than Edward is beyond him. We can use that."

Alice nodded. "The Volturi would have no reason to think you wouldn't be with us. I mean, he still thinks you're Edward's and that we're the ones who can keep you safe."

"I'm not a possession, Alice," I snapped irritably.

Alice's eyes widened. "I didn't mean anything by it," she said. But I was too wrapped up in my own head to pay her any mind.

Jacob, on the other hand, had other ideas. He growled low in his throat and Quil and Leah glared daggers at her. Alice clucked her tongue at them in annoyance. "Aro doesn't know about the wolves," she added in her defense. "Demetri's sole focus is on us. He's waiting for us to make a move, to plan an escape with Bella. _That's_ what Aro expects. And that's when he'll strike."

"I still don't understand why I would have to go into hiding. I mean, if you're right, and Demetri can't see me, then what's the point?"

Carlisle smiled at me with all the compassion in his heart. "The eyes of the Volturi are focused on us here. With Alice blind to their decisions, they can attack us at any time. They're counting on the fact that their numbers will overwhelm us and there'd be no one left to protect you."

I gulped and Jacob squeezed my hand. His body shook, and his teeth were clenched. He was straining to maintain control but it looked like he was fighting a losing battle. He didn't like what he was hearing any more than I did. And the wolf that resided within him liked it even less.

Esme saw our distress. She looked as though she wanted to comfort me, but one look in Jacob's direction and she thought better of it. "Carlisle," she addressed her husband instead, "you're scaring Bella."

Carlisle wrapped his arm around his wife's shoulders and tugged her close to his body. "I know you're scared, Bella. Believe me, we all are. But, if you leave, and if we're right about Demetri, they'll have no idea where to find you. They'll strike at us here, and if we don't prevail, you'll at least be protected and safe; and hopefully, thousands of miles away."

I pulled away from Jacob. He was so hot that I was beginning to sweat. The air felt stifling and I couldn't think straight. I heard Carlisle's words, but I couldn't believe them. "Look, I _am_ scared. But what scares me more than anything is the fact that you guys want to write me off; send me away regardless of how I feel about it. And what's worse, I wouldn't even be running away to play bait or to serve as a distraction. You just want to get rid of me because…_I _am a distraction!"

Edward shook his head. "No," he said.

"Nah, I think he means that you're more of a liability," Emmett chimed in. Rosalie rolled her eyes and mouthed she was sorry to me while Edward glared at his brother. Edward gritted his teeth and looked back at me and said, "You have to leave so that you'll be kept out of the fray. If we have to sacrifice our lives, which we will gladly do, we need to know that our sacrifice won't be in vain. The truth of the matter is that hiding now will help you buy necessary time."

"Time for what?" I demanded.

"To run."

"Edward!" Esme and Alice admonished at the same time. Rosalie just shook her head.

"No," Jacob shouted angrily. "This doesn't make any sense. There are ten of us and seven of you. And once I convince those other tribes to help we'll be set. Bella is safer here with us."

"Weren't you listening?" Edward asked scathingly. He got right up in Jacob's face. Sam and Quil stood on either side of Jacob, only I wasn't sure if they were there to help or to hold Jacob back. Either way, Edward ignored them. "The Volturi have numbers on their side," he continued more calmly. They may not know about you," he said, eyeing the wolves collectively, "but their numbers and added abilities will be more than enough to overpower us. All they need is one second; one instant when we're overwhelmed or distracted and…," Edward clapped his hands together, the sound startlingly loud and reverberating throughout the room, "…Bella will be lost. Can you live with that, mutt? Because I can't."

Edward turned his back on Jacob, heading towards the stairs. He threw his arms out onto the banister, his hands gripping it tightly. The soft wood cracked and strained under the pressure. His shoulders slumped and his head hung low towards his chest. I almost felt sorry for him; almost. But then I watched as Sam and Quil had to physically restrain Jacob from attacking Edward, and suddenly I was no longer inclined to empathize with him. Edward had made it seem as though Jacob was trying to get me killed on purpose; that only he, Edward cared enough about me to 'let me go'. Edward did have a valid point though. I just didn't appreciate the way he presented it. As usual, Edward acted as though only he knew what was best for me. I reached for Jacob's hand and squeezed it. He calmed immediately. Sam and Quil stepped away, but remained close enough to act if needed.

"What about your allies?" Jacob pleaded desperately with Carlisle, looking for any viable option, anything that would keep us together while still keeping me safe. "You said they would help. Look until tonight, we didn't even know that there were other wolves out there. Let's just fly to Volterra and meet your allies there. It's not like you can't kick in for the airfare, right Doc?"

"My friends _will_ come to our aid," Carlisle said, ignoring Jacob's angry and flippant attitude. "They agreed to fight with us, and they will. But they're spread out all over the world. They can't and, more importantly, they won't stay here indefinitely, waiting for an attack. And since The Volturi are going to attack without warning, it's clear that we'd be ashes before our allies could come to our aid."

"Who cares if they won't stay here? Why can't they just meet us in Volterra? As a united front, we should be able to take the Volturi out." It was a simple solution as far as Jacob was concerned.

Carlisle shook his head. "I can't do that. The Volturi are watching our every move. By now, they would know to keep tabs on any of my known associates. Some of them have even been threatened by Aro personally. If Aro found that my friends were moving en masse to Washington or to Italy, it could provoke the Volturi to strike that much sooner. We're just not prepared for that. As it stands, my friends are willing to help; willing to fight. But, you don't go up against the Volturi unless there's a surety of winning. You either win, or you die. And in light of recent threats, they're not sure of that just yet."

Jacob ran his hands through his hair in frustration. The rest of the wolves grew anxious and restless.

"We need to give Aro the impression that we're the sitting ducks he thinks we are," Carlisle continued, filling the silent and tension-filled room with his soothing voice. "He'll think that we're fools for not running and taking Bella with us while we have the chance. He _wants_ to chase us. But when he realizes we're not going to give him that pleasure, he'll send the Guard here to destroy us."

"But Bella will be safely hidden away by then," Alice added reassuringly.

"And, we'll have the support of possibly dozens more wolves to aid us." Carlisle looked at Jacob meaningfully, knowing that the success of his plan revolved around Jacob securing the new recruits.

"You keep saying that Aro's just going to send his Guard," Sam said. "But, how can you know that for sure. Your plan rests on The Volturi dividing their forces. But, what happens when Aro comes himself, and even with the extra wolves, we're outnumbered because your allies didn't show." The wolves grumbled in agreement. Jacob glanced at Sam, but made no comment.

"I lived with Aro and the Volturi for centuries. And I know how Aro operates. He likes to torment and instill fear, but he doesn't like to get his hands dirty. He is confident that his Guard, aided by a few of his favorites, will be more than capable of eliminating us. Now, I'm not saying that it's going to be easy. Some of us," he paused, finding it difficult to continue. "Some of us may not make it."

My heart constricted in my chest and I found it hard to breathe. All this talk about battles, fighting, and strategies was one thing. I couldn't bear the thought of any of the people I loved dying for my sake.

Carlisle's voice was grave. "As I said, it won't be easy. But, with the aid of the other wolves, I think we will be victorious. Once we take the Guard out, Aro, Marcus and Caius will be vulnerable. And, if we move quickly on Volterra, they may not even know the extent of the danger until it's too late. We'll be able to pool our resources with the other wolves and my friends from around the world. This time, _they_ will be outnumbered. And all the while, Bella will be kept out of the fray; safe and away from danger."

"Finally," Emmett shouted, smashing his fist into his hand, "we have a plan here. It's about time."

"Yeah, but it's not much of a plan," Jacob muttered bitterly. He shook his head in disbelief.

I couldn't help but agree with Jacob. Everything seemed so far-fetched. We were putting a lot of faith on guesses and assumptions. I was terrified of signing on for the wrong plan, but I was even more frightened of doing nothing; of staying in Forks and being the reason that Jacob and everyone else I loved would die. For as many reservations as I still harbored, I felt like Carlisle's advice was sound and that I would be remiss to ignore it.

"So, when do I leave?" I asked, not really wanting to know the answer. Jacob turned his stunned gaze on me. His jaw was tense and I could practically hear his teeth grinding together. He was furious, but he said nothing. We shared a look. I knew he wasn't fully convinced about this plan either, but he could tell that I had already made up my mind. And he knew just how stubborn I could be when I'd made a decision. I didn't want anyone to die for me. And though I was scared for my own safety, I hated the thought of being a liability or a distraction to the people I loved. If they were going to fight for their lives, they needed to do so without having to watch my back. I tried to convey that to Jacob when I looked into his dark eyes. Whether he understood me or not, he wasn't happy.

"So," I asked again, "when do I leave?"

Alice frowned. Her golden eyes had turned black. "Pretty much, _now_," she replied.

"Oh." It felt as though I had been hit in the gut with a canon ball.

"I'll go with her." Edward strode towards me, his demeanor more determined than ever. "It's my fault she's in this mess. It's my job to protect her. I'll take her somewhere safe; somewhere the Volturi won't ever think to look."

"Over my dead body!" Jacob and Charlie roared at the same time.

"If Bella's going anywhere," Jacob snapped angrily, "then she's going with me."

"That's right!" Charlie nodded enthusiastically. Then he seemed to remember himself, frowned and said, "Well, let's just think about this for a moment."

"Yeah," I added. "Are we sure this is our best option?" All my conviction and bravado flew out the door. I didn't want anyone to die for me, but I was also too afraid to leave, now that it came to it.

"Bella," Alice shook her head. "I'm sorry. But, your safety is our top priority. Tonight has proved that Aro's power and influence has extended farther than we realized. You have to leave now."

"Alright," I said firmly, showing more determination that I actually felt. "Then Jacob and I will leave. We'll…"

"Bella," Billy's sad voice broke in. "I'm sorry, but Jacob can't go with you."

Jacob's brow furrowed in anger. "The hell I can't," he yelled. Desperation fueled his anger as he towered over his father. "Bella and I have been through too much together for me not to go with her. And there's nothing you or anyone else can do that will stop me."

"What about the other tribes, son?"

"What about them?"

"They're integral to this plan. If we don't get their support, there's no hope of winning this war against the Volturi. This isn't their fight. You need to make it theirs. Old Quil said that the Alphas from each pack would arrive within the next couple of weeks. They're going to be testing _us_; seeing whether or not _we're_ worthy allies."

"Worthy allies," Jacob repeated scathingly.

"Jacob," Billy sighed, frustrated that he was not getting through to his son. "These people have no obligation to us. They have their own tribes, their own people and their own land to protect. You're not considering what a big deal it is that they're even willing to send their Alphas here to meet with you. They're willingly leaving their people vulnerable just to hear you out. They're doing us a favor here. But son," he shook his head solemnly, "if our Alpha isn't here to lend strength and authority to our cause, to win them over, they'll leave. And we'll be right back where we started."

"No," Jacob shook his head emphatically. "No, that's not going to happen. Sam will be here. He was the Alpha. He can serve in my place."

"Jake," Sam spoke quietly. "That's not the way it works. You know that. I can play the role of the Alpha all I want, but that doesn't make me the leader. Not any more. The fact that I used to be the leader won't help. That power shifted to you, man. We all saw it. You're the true Alpha. I was only a substitute. You can't take that power away from a true Alpha. If you're not here, they'll see it as a sign of weakness. They'll think we're a joke. Why would they want to align themselves, to risk their lives for a pack that won't even risk putting their best man forward?"

Sam looked at us, eyes filled with bitter understanding. "I know how hard this is. I don't even know if I would have the strength to leave my…to leave Emily." He looked heartbroken at the mere thought. "But," he continued, "You're going to have to let Bella go."

"Then it's settled." Edward's voice was triumphant. "I'll go with Bella."

For the first time that night, Rosalie opened her mouth. "For the love of…" she glared intensely at her brother. "Get it through your thick head, Edward. You're not going with Bella. No one wants that to happen but you. And in case you completely forgot, Demetri has his tabs on us; especially you. If he notices that anyone of us isn't where we're supposed to be, the hunt will be on. And he may just bring the entire guard with him. What good are you going to be to her then?" Emmett wrapped his arms around Rosalie's waist and tugged her gently back towards his chest. He nuzzled her neck and whispered soothing words that only she could here. She and Edward glared at each other. "Freaking idiot," she muttered under her breath and then shut her mouth.

"I think the choice is obvious," Carlisle said. "None of us can go with Bella to keep her safe. You're going to have to send one of your wolves with her."

"I'll go." It was the last voice I had wanted to hear. I closed my eyes and made a silent prayer that Jacob would deny his request. When I opened them again, all eyes were focused on Seth who looked determined, and set in his resolve.

Not Seth, I thought to myself. He was so young, so sweet; still basically untouched by the tragedy he suffered and the vocation thrust upon him. I had grown to love him as a brother. And now that his mom and my father were getting married, he really was going to be my brother. I felt the overwhelming need to protect him. It wasn't as though I didn't trust in his strength and abilities. I just knew that being sent away was going to be dangerous. And I just couldn't bear it if Seth were hurt, or worse, died alone and away from his pack, all in the name of protecting me.

I saw Charlie comforting Sue. She was clearly upset. It would be one thing to be assigned as my protector. It was a whole other thing that he volunteered for it. But, despite her fear, Sue said nothing. And it wasn't for lack of love or affection. Anyone who knew her knew that Seth was the apple of her eye. But Sue was also a Council Elder. She knew the importance of the wolf pack to tribal survival. As much as she feared for her son, she understood that this was part of the duty he was born into.

"Look Seth," Jacob began, but Seth cut him off.

"Jake, I'm the guy. Colin and Brady are too young."

"Yeah," Jacob laughed darkly. "I was going to say the same thing about you."

"But it's not the same thing, is it?" He worded his question in such a way that he wasn't challenging Jacob, his Alpha. Rather, he was stating simple facts, facts that Jacob could not ignore. "I have actual battle experience," he continued, "they don't. I've taken out a bloodsucker on my own. And besides, everyone else has an imprint. It would be too hard for them to leave with Bella. Hell, I don't even know how you're going to be able to stay away from…"

"Never mind that," Jacob growled, avoiding eye contact with me. He was in pain. I could see it in his dark eyes and feel it in the tremors rippling through this body. I knew his pain because it mirrored my own. I guess a part of me always thought I might have to leave; that I would have to run away. I just never thought I would have to leave without Jacob. I hadn't quite come to terms with that yet.

"Seth," Jacob continued. "I can send Embry. He's more experienced and…"

"No, you can't," Seth countered. "You need Embry and Quil. They know you better than anyone else. That'll work to your advantage in front of the other tribes. You'll look like a strong leader with strong followers. You don't need another kid in your ranks. You can spare me and you know it."

"I don't know," Jacob said, not remotely convinced by Seth's argument.

"You can trust me with Bella," Seth continued. "I won't let anyone get past me and you know it."

Jacob ran his hands through his hair and paced the floor. Everyone gave him a wide berth. He was being put in an impossible position. He looked to Sue, possibly for guidance. I wasn't sure. But, all he got from her was stoic acceptance. Jacob sighed and said, "Alright. Alright, Seth, I want you to go with Bella. I want…I _need_ you to keep her safe."

I looked around the room, at all the faces of the people I loved. I wasn't sure if I'd ever see any of them again. My heart was breaking. I knew it was necessary, but I didn't know how to take that next step. With a shaky voice, I asked Alice, "Where are we supposed to go? And how long are we supposed to stay? I only have a little money saved up."

"Oh, Bella," Esme wrapped me in her cool embrace. "We'll take care of everything. You won't have to worry about money. We'll keep you safe for as long as it takes."

I was grateful to Esme. She may not have been my mother, but sometimes she knew just what I needed. I felt comforted and reassured. But, as wonderful as she was, I needed someone else's arms around me. I needed to feel the familiar warmth and strength of Jacob's embrace. I looked towards him, searching for…something, anything that could make all the fear and doubt go away. But his eyes were downcast, his face expressionless. He was distant, as though he had already said good-bye.

Alice ran upstairs and came back down in a flash. All pretense was thrown out the window and I could tell that Charlie was having a hard time coping. Alice held a box in her hands. She nodded towards Seth and he came to my side.

"Jasper and I made arrangements in the event that something like this came up." She opened the box and took out two manila envelopes, one with my name on it and the other with Jacob's. "You know I haven't been able to see your future for some time now. But, we made sure we covered all our bases. We had some fake identification made up for you." She handed me my envelope. I opened it and found various Driver licenses from California, Nevada, Texas, even Hawaii. Each license was equipped with a copy of my yearbook picture on it and my name listed as Kristen Stewart. There was also a birth certificate, passport, bank card, credit card and a new cell phone. I had never seen a black credit card before. Yet, I instinctually knew that it screamed money. Alice handed the other envelope to Seth.

"We had this one made for Jacob." She looked at me apologetically. Jacob turned his attention onto the empty fireplace, forcing himself to look anywhere except at me or at Alice. I didn't know what he was thinking exactly. But, it was pretty obvious that he felt like he was being replaced, like a substitute was needed to do his job. Although I wished it weren't the case, Jacob saw protecting me as his own personal job. Of course, 'job' probably wasn't the word he would use to describe it. He had always felt protective of me, even when we weren't together. He promised me numerous times that he would keep me safe from the Volturi. And now, when he was being put to the test, he wasn't even being asked to step up to the plate. He must have felt helpless and useless, two things Jacob Black definitely wasn't.

Seth opened his envelope and started looking through his new identification. "Taylor Lautner?" He chuckled. "I don't think Jake looks much like a Taylor." It was Seth's attempt to ease the tension in the room. No one laughed.

I fumbled distractedly through my own documents again. I could understand how Alice got my picture to use for my paperwork, but it was a mystery to me how she found a usable picture to use for Jacob's. Then I realized it was probably better that I didn't know. I focused more on practical matters. I held up the cell phone. "What's this for? I already have a phone."

"Yeah, but this one is untraceable. We've also set up off-shore bank accounts for you under your aliases. You'll have unlimited resources to find a place to stay, buy a car or to take off in case of an emergency." It spoke a lot of the danger we were in that I didn't even balk at the idea that the Cullens were going to be supporting me financially. Alice stammered when she saw Seth's doubtful look. "I think that you look enough like Jacob to pass for now," she said defensively.

Although I agreed with her, I didn't say anything. It was all happening so fast. I couldn't stay in Forks, but I didn't know where to go. The country was huge. I almost felt as though I had too many options and I didn't know how to make a decision. I didn't know which choice would prove to be the smartest or the safest.

Alice handed me a business card. It was plain white with just a name and a phone number listed. There was no business name or address. The name on the card read J. Jenks. "Who's this?" I asked.

"Let's just say he's a trusted family friend," Jasper answered with a smirk.

Alice rolled her eyes. "He's the guy we use to create new identities. He made all that paperwork for you. We wanted to give you some basics, to get started. But, you probably shouldn't stay in any one place for too long. So, if you ever feel as though your identities have been compromised, or if you need to leave in a hurry, just call that number. He'll take care of you."

I nodded, not quite understanding how it was possible, but grateful for one less thing to worry about. I swallowed hard. "So, where do we go?"

Carlisle shook his head. "We can't tell you that, sweetheart. The less we know the better off you will be. We believe Aro won't come here, but we don't want to take the chance of knowing too much in case he does."

"And since you'll be with Seth," Alice added, "your decisions will still be blocked from me. So, I won't know where you'll be either."

I looked down at the untraceable cell phone. "But, I can still call you guys, can't I?" I addressed the question to the room at large but my eyes were focused on Jacob's back. I didn't want to go into exile and not even be able to hear Jacob's voice. So much was being taken away from me. I could accept most of it, but I couldn't deal with that.

"You can call us," Carlisle said. "We all have untraceable phones and Alice has programmed your phone with our numbers." He saw the worry in my eyes and said, "Don't worry, Bella. We'll make sure that Sue, Charlie and Jacob have phones as well. We want you to be able to call us when you need to, but you can't tell us anything about where you are. And because we all have superior senses, it's probably best that you keep the phone calls to a minimum to avoid providing unwitting clues about your whereabouts."

So I could call Jacob, just not as often as I would like. And, that was assuming he'd even accept the phone from Carlisle. I hoped that his missing me would trump his stubborn pride and refusal of accepting gifts from other people, especially vampires.

"Bella," Alice said sadly. "I'm sorry but you should really get going now."

I checked the time. It was almost two in the morning. The easiest way out of town was flying. And Sea-Tac airport was about four hours away. Clearly there was no room for delay. "Well," I said. "I guess we should pack."

My good-byes were hurried. I didn't have the time to make them lingering and meaningful like I would have wanted. The wolves gathered around me first. The usual joking, childish atmosphere was gone. They each hugged me like I was a member of their family; part of their pack. They genuinely hated to see me go, and not just because of what it would do to Jacob, but because they would miss _me_. They were worried about me and Seth going out on our own. It went against the pack mentality. Nothing good ever came out of being a lone wolf. It took all of their will power to let us go. And all the while, my fear was fed with doubts about ever seeing them again. I didn't say much, afraid that my voice would crack and my emotions would betray me. Instead I relished the warmth of their embraces and prayed with all my heart that I would see them, each and every one of them again, soon.

Thankfully, the wolves stayed positive. I wasn't sure if it was for my benefit or for Seth's. I appreciated it all the same. Sam especially kept using the phrase "_when_ we come back," as opposed to "_if_." Every time he said something like that, I could see Jacob flinch, as though he was being struck repeatedly. This was tearing him apart, and the only reason I was holding it together was for his sake. I kept checking the time. I feared that our time would run out and I wouldn't have a chance to say good-bye. The heaviness of that possibility weighed on me. I stumbled through the various hugs I gave and received, allowing the superior strength of each wolf hold me steady on my feet.

Leah surprised me the most. "Take care of my baby brother," she said. It was an odd request, considering that Seth was being sent away for the sole purpose of protecting me. But, I knew what she really meant. Leah had always been there to watch Seth's back. If Seth ever left the pack, for any reason, Leah would follow. No questions asked. But for once, Seth was going someplace where Leah couldn't follow. I couldn't morph into a giant wolf, but I had my own strengths to offer. I promised Leah that I would do whatever I could to offer comfort to Seth while we were gone. I would look after him as best I could. That seemed to be enough for Leah.

The packed then focused its attention on Seth. That left me with the Cullens. One by one they embraced me and showered me with affection. Carlisle promised me that they would do anything and everything in their power to keep me safe. His words were meant to be encouraging. But, all I could think about was the fact that they were all willing to sacrifice their lives just to buy me more time. Despite all their assurances to the contrary, I seriously doubted whether or not I was worth the trouble.

The last to say his good-byes was Edward. He looked to Jacob, almost for permission, but since Jacob was obstinately ignoring the exchange, Edward proceeded to pull me into his arms. He released me quickly and stared into my eyes. His golden eyes were wide with fear.

"Bella, I…," he stuttered. It was rare to see Edward Cullen so flustered. It pained me to see him that way. The fear had fled his gaze and was replaced by an overwhelming passion, one he'd always held at bay to protect me. I took a step back, unused to seeing so much naked emotion from him. It was a reflex reaction. Edward grabbed onto my arms, not letting me get far. The intensity of his gaze bore into the depths of my soul. "I…," he began, desperately intent on telling me something. But he took another look at Jacob, who couldn't help but growl at Edward's hands on me, and thought better of it. Just as quickly as they appeared, his emotions were bottled back up inside. He released me from his strong, yet gentle grip and said, "Please…be safe."

I nodded. It was all I could do. What did one say to that? Clearly, Edward wasn't saying what he was really thinking. His emotions, though buried deep, were like a blazing brand in his eyes. He was heartbroken and that made me feel all the more guilty, because I was only concerned about my own heart breaking at the thought of leaving Jacob behind.

Charlie cleared his throat behind me, effectively distracting me from my own self-pity. I turned around to face him and noticed that the house was practically empty. The Cullens, all except Carlisle, must have fled to their respective rooms, giving Edward and I a chance to say good-bye in private; or at least a vampire's semblance of privacy. The wolves had left the house too. Carlisle stood by the front door, talking quietly with Billy, while Sue clung desperately to Seth.

"Bells," Charlie said, looking towards the front door. "I'm going to take Billy home then I'm going to help Sue with Seth." He swallowed hard, looking uncomfortable. A bright pink flush stole across his cheeks. "Why don't you go on with Jacob and pack," he suggested. "I'll be by in about an hour to pick you up and take you to the airport."

The reason for Charlie's discomfort finally came to me. He was allowing Jacob and I some alone time, to say our good-byes in private. He looked conflicted, like it was killing him to even suggest such a thing. But, I was grateful for his thoughtfulness.

"Thanks, Dad," I whispered. He hugged me in response and then walked out the door.

The drive home was silent. Jacob hadn't said a word to me since he agreed to let Seth accompany me. I was terrified. I didn't know how long I'd be gone or how well I'd cope without my other half. I knew Jacob was feeling the same. He _had_ to be feeling the same. But, his fear was tinged with anger and hostility. And because he wasn't talking, I couldn't help but feel as though I had done something to direct that anger and hostility my way. I needed him to talk to me, but I didn't want to push him. No, I convinced myself. He would talk when he was ready. I checked the clock on the dashboard and hoped that he'd be ready before our time ran out.

When we got home, Jacob followed me up the stairs to my bedroom without a word. He took a defensive position in front of my window, his eyes, ever watchful, strained out into the dark looking for signs of an enemy he could tear into. I sighed and got to work.

I had a large suitcase spread out on my bed. I emptied my dresser drawers and raided my closet, throwing the bare necessities haphazardly into my suitcase. I didn't bother packing any toiletries. I figured we should travel as lightly as possible. We didn't know if and when we'd have to relocate in an emergency. And, thanks to the Cullens' generosity, we could purchase things as we needed them.

All in all, it took less than twenty minutes to pack my life away. Before I closed the suitcase, I made sure to place a picture frame on top of my clothes. It was the picture Jacob took of us last summer on our road trip. It always brought me back to the freshness, the newness of our blossoming relationship. I hoped that seeing the smiles on our faces then, would be a light for me when the darkness of my despair threatened to claim me.

I closed the suitcase. The sound of the zipper was loud in the quiet room. Jacob still hadn't moved or said a word to me. And even though he was a few feet away, he'd never felt more distant. My father would be here soon to take me away. I didn't know what the future held, and my present wasn't looking so bright either. I was leaving, everything and everyone I loved behind. But leaving Jacob; leaving my sun behind was unbearable. I didn't know when I would see him again. And a voice in my head, one I refused to acknowledge wondered _if_ I would see him again.

"Well, I guess that's it."

I received no response from Jacob. He was slipping through my hands like too much sand and I found it hard to breathe. My breaths were shallow and my heart raced. My skin was feverish as the tears I'd tried so hard to hold back finally broke through the floodgates.

"God, I hate this!" I screamed. I grabbed my suitcase and tossed it to the floor with all my might. I felt like I was losing my mind. The threat from the Volturi had hung over my head for nearly two years. And yet in the matter of a few short hours, that threat had transformed into an all out psychological attack and my whole world was thrown off of its axis. I wanted to scream until my throat was dry and my voice was hoarse. I was so frustrated that I could tear out my own hair.

Heat encapsulated me. That was the only indication that Jacob had moved from his vigil at the window. I hadn't heard him move. He spun me around, his large hands resting on my shoulders. He shook me gently, forcing my eyes to meet his. With tears falling down his face he said, "Then stay with me, Bella. Don't leave me. I won't survive it again."

My breath caught in my throat. His words were like a knife to my already bleeding heart. Jacob's normally loving eyes were filled with such darkness and despair. His heart was breaking into pieces and it was my fault. I had ignored his pleas once before, and that's exactly what got me into this mess. I often wondered how different our lives would be if I would have listened to Jacob back then. If I would have never gone to Italy, we wouldn't be living in constant fear. And, I wouldn't have to be running away now. I wanted so badly to give in, to follow my heart and to stay with Jacob; to let him protect me like he so desperately wanted to do. But Carlisle was right. They all stood a better chance of survival without having to worry about babysitting me.

"I want to, Jake. God, you know how much I want to stay with you. But, Carlisle's right. My leaving is the best thing for us. It's the only way to keep us safe until the Volturi can be dealt with."

His eyes narrowed and he glared angrily. "How can you not trust me to protect you?"

"What?" I cried, completely confused. He wouldn't meet my eyes and instead he walked across the room, resting his fists against the wall near my bedroom door. "Jake, I trust you with my life. You know that!" He didn't look at me. He just hung his head between his outstretched arms. His body shook violently. "Jake," I pleaded with him to listen. "I have to go. It's the only way."

"This is fucking bullshit!" he yelled. And the next thing I knew there was a loud bang and white dust was everywhere. I jumped, startled by the loud noise and that's when I saw that Jacob's fist had disappeared inside the wall. I frowned and walked towards him.

I took a calming breath and said, "Now, why did you do that?" I gave a gentle tug on his arm. He pulled it from the wall and blood dripped down his fingers from the already closing cuts along his knuckles. I took his hand and cradled it between my own looking for deeper, more significant damage. He remembered himself and tried to pull his hand away.

"I'm fine, Bells. It's already healing. I don't want you freaking out over a little blood."

I pulled his hand back and caressed it, blood and all. "I'm not freaking out, Jake." And I wasn't. I couldn't believe it myself, but I didn't have the normal reaction I had to blood. I supposed it had a lot to do with the fact that I didn't have the time or inclination to worry about the sight of it affecting me. All I cared about was that it was Jacob's blood, and that he was hurt. I kissed each knuckle and marveled at the light pink lines that marked the previously broken skin.

I looked up and saw that he was staring down at me, eyes filled with wonder. He was a miracle. He was my miracle. And my weakness, my fear was killing him. By playing the weak damsel in distress, I only fed his need to protect me. And he couldn't deal with the fact that his services weren't required. I needed to stay strong, to reassure him that I would be okay; that _we_ would be okay.

"Why did you do that?" I asked again. He looked at me, completely bewildered, as though he couldn't understand how I could be so calm.

He took a calming breath and looked down at me. His brows furrowed and his hands reached for my face. "I just hate how all of this is being taken out of my hands. I'm powerless here and I just have a horrible feeling about this. We belong together. I need you by my side."

"Jake, you know I feel the same. But, Carlisle has a point. I need to leave. I need to leave so that you can concentrate on training and recruiting the other wolf packs. This is your moment Jake, where you can prove your worth. When you get those wolves on our side, you will succeed in taking out the Volturi Guard. I have no doubt in my mind. And then when you take out Aro in Italy, you will be responsible for saving thousands of lives. This is bigger than just you and me. This is your chance to affect change on the entire world. And if I have to leave to ensure that that happens, then I'll do it."

"No," he shook his head adamantly. "No, the safest place for you is by my side."

"Yes, I agree." His eyes flashed with hope. "But," I continued, "That's not the safest place for you."

He leaned back against the wall, his long legs spread outward. He covered his face with his hands. "What do you want me to do here, Bells? I don't know how to let you go."

Tears threatened to spill down my face at the sound of despair in his voice. I was terrified of what our future held. Carlisle had a solid plan, one that would ensure the ultimate demise of the Volturi. But the plan hedged on our willing sacrifice. And looking at my beautiful Jacob, at his strength and his vulnerability, I knew that I would sacrifice anything to be with him, even if it meant being apart for now.

I ignored the weakness in my limbs and the fact that another step might very well bring me crashing to the floor. I stepped between Jacob's outstretched legs with my head held high. My heart raced and I couldn't get enough air in my lungs. But, none of that mattered. All that mattered was that Jacob and I had this time together, and I refused to let it go to waste.

"What I want, Jacob," I said, smoothing his mussed up hair away from his face, "is for you to love me."

Jacob didn't say anything. The look of love and adoration in his eyes, combined with the pure animal lust seeping from his very pores said it all. He pushed himself off of the wall, his hands anchored on my hips. His dark eyes bore into mine, saying things we didn't have time to tell each other, piercing me down to my very core with the depths of his feelings. Heat surrounded me until I thought that I would catch fire. I gasped, enjoying the glorious burn. And that's when his lips crashed down hungrily onto mine.

I could taste the salt from his dried up tears on his lips. The scent of his breath, hot and eager, had me panting and begging for more. His kisses were wild, biting and desperate; firm, but never dominating. His strong hands palmed my rear and he lifted me up in his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist and threw my hands around his neck. He was hard between my legs, his arousal pressed up against my core. I moaned against his lips, heady from the feel of his hunger; his heat.

He held me up easily, as though I weighed nothing at all, while his hands took turns roaming my body. They were everywhere, but never anywhere long enough; his touch was teasing, just enough to be almost satisfying. He pulled me flush to his hard, lean body. I was cocooned within his hot embrace. His grasp was firm and unrelenting, giving me a glimpse of the extraordinary strength he possessed. I clung to him. My body undulated, creating a delicious friction. I couldn't get enough of him. He held me as tight as he could without hurting me, yet it wasn't nearly tight enough.

If we were any closer we would have been fused together. And still, he kissed me. He kissed me like it was the first time; like it was the last time. His kisses tasted of love and hate, ecstasy and despair. Everything he had ever felt for me, everything he ever would feel for me was there in the way his lips caressed mine, in the way he held me and touched me. It was perfect. I had never felt more desired or loved in my whole life. His heart hammered against his chest and I knew he was telling me without words that it beat for me.

He was taking me to places, to heights of passion I'd never reached before. But always, in the back of my mind, I was aware that reality was going to rear its ugly head when this was over. I would be leaving him, leaving his loving embrace. Silent tears fell down my cheek. If Jacob noticed, he didn't say anything. Instead, he kissed me all the more feverishly, each touch, each lick and gentle nip a reminder of the passion we could experience together.

Although my tears fell unabated, I ignored them, preferring to focus on drowning in Jacob's musky scent. My fingers scratched and clawed down his back and rippling biceps. I tugged at his shirt and he reached behind his neck with one hand and pulled the offending piece of cotton up and over his head, tossing it to the floor. I sucked my lower lip into my mouth, taking in and admiring all the russet colored skin that had just been revealed. After I took my fill I met Jacob's eyes, only to find his own eyes trained on my lower lip. His brows furrowed and he groaned, attacking my lips with renewed vigor.

Jacob started to walk towards the bed. In the next moment, I found myself relieved of my shirt and bra. I didn't even bother thinking about how he managed such a feat without me noticing. Instead, I pressed my naked flesh to his, my nipples immediately hardening at his touch. My hands tangled in his hair while his roamed my body, squeezing, kneading and digging deliciously into my flesh. It was like he was trying to memorize every inch of me, his fingertips taking mental pictures.

He lay me down on my bed. He quickly undid my jeans and tugged them along with my panties down my legs. There was nothing romantic about it, only aggressive, desperate need. His shorts and boxers quickly followed and soon he was on the bed, hovering over me. His eyes were like liquid fire.

"_I_ _need you,_"he whispered, eyes so bright and intense it was hard to maintain contact.

I nodded vigorously. "And you have me," I reassured him. I took his hand and placed it over my heart. "You have me, heart, body and soul, always." His eyes followed his hand and stayed focused on my heaving chest.

He pressed his body down onto mine. My heart fluttered at the feel of his masculine weight pressing me down into the mattress. He caressed my cheek and with an intensity I'd never experienced before said, "If you go, I need you to come back to me."

My mouth fell open, awed by the desperation in his plea. I took his face in my hands and brought his lips to mine, kissing him, branding him with my love. "Always, Jake," I whispered between kisses. "Always."

His lips devoured mine, hands groping and grabbing; always wanting, searching for more. I whimpered, desperate for fulfillment and with one quick thrust he was inside me, all hard and hot. I moaned clutching his shoulders as his hips rocked back and forth. A fine sheen of sweat already coated his rippling muscles. I scratched my nails down his back, eliciting a soft growl. My core clenched around him as if in response.

For that brief moment in time, he made me forget. I forgot that in a matter of minutes, fate would intervene and tear us apart, possibly forever. He made me forget my self-doubt. How would I survive without him? It was his strength, his sunny smile that got me through the hardest time in my life. This was far worse by comparison, and yet I would be facing it alone. But, with every kiss, every caress, he drove my body towards a blissful finish, and all doubt, all fear fled in its wake.

He made love to me as though I was precious, a goddess. He worshipped me with his hands, with his lips, with his very body. And I returned every gesture in kind, because _he_ was precious to me. He was vital to my existence.

We moved together in perfect synchronicity. We were like one body. And all the while, his dark, observant eyes watched me, perusing my body at his leisure. I was mesmerized by his body; the way his muscles contracted, straining with exertion. He was beautiful. There was no doubt about that. But, when he was in the throes of passion, he was truly exquisite. I was overwhelmed. His strong, calloused hands were so soft and gentle as they stroked and traced the curves of my body. I closed my eyes, giving up all conscious thought and got lost in the sensations. His hands, lips, tongue and teeth were everywhere. The fire ignited between us was all-consuming.

I focused on every kiss, every caress; on the rising crest of pleasure building in my gut, getting ready to explode through my veins. I closed my eyes, getting lost in a primal rhythm. He was crazed, unable to hold the animal within at bay. His pace increased, his breathe ragged. I writhed beneath him, caught up somewhere between tears and cries of pure joy and ecstasy.

"Look at me," he urged, panting heavily. I couldn't help but obey, compelled as I was by the demand in his voice. I looked into his dark eyes and felt as though I was being swallowed whole. He caressed my face, pushing my sweat-soaked hair out of my eyes. "I love you," he said. His hands moved up and down my body, sending tingles down my spine. His touch was sensual, erotic. My back arched up off of the bed, trying to get closer to him, trying to wrap myself up inside of him, the friction making my skin thrum with anticipation. "I'll always love you," he whispered, kissing my lips and leaving a wet trail down my neck. I dug my nails into his back in response and he growled. I squeezed my thighs tighter around his hips, rising up to meet each thrust.

"I'll always love you, Bella." His voice was hoarse, breathy with strain. His pace increased and he was finding it difficult to hold back, to make the pleasure last that much longer for me and for us. I closed my eyes, ready to fall over the edge. He kissed me harder.

He was wild and quickly losing his control. I clung to him like he was a life preserver in a turbulent sea. I couldn't breathe. I felt the pleasure vibrate through my limbs, erupting from my very core. I cried out, lost in ecstasy, hoping it would never end and yet knowing that the end was in sight. Jacob held my face between his hands, never breaking eye contact and never slowing down. I looked at him as he jumped whole-heartedly over the precipice.

I held him as we came down from our high, his head resting against my breasts. I was pleasantly sated. My legs were still wrapped around his hips, my thighs quivered. I knew I would be sore the next day and I was pleased. At least that way I would have a physical reminder of his touch, and not just the memory of it.

We lay on the bed, wrapped up in each other's arms as our breathing steadied and our racing hearts slowed down. Neither one of us said anything. There was nothing left to say. Jacob kissed my breasts and trailed sweet, wet kisses up and down my neck. Gone was the urgency from before. The desperation and morphed into stoic acceptance and he touched me in kind. I didn't care. I had him in my arms for a little while longer. That's all I cared about.

Reality lay outside of my room, outside of our embrace. And we weren't about to take the step towards it until we were forced to do so. But, the moment was not made to last. I heard the front door open and knew that Charlie was here to take me to the airport.

"Bells," he called. I heard the stairs creak with his weight. And then, as though he thought better of it, he said, "We're waiting for you in the car, kiddo. It's time to go." He then headed right back out the door without another word.

And just like that, the spell was broken. Jacob and I got dressed in silence. I went to the bathroom to freshen up and when I came back out, he was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs, my suitcase in hand.

The drive to the airport was uncomfortable, and not just because I was sandwiched in the backseat of Charlie's patrol car between Seth and Jacob's massive bodies. The tension and fear in the air was suffocating. I clung to Jacob with my arms around his waist. He threw his arm across my shoulder and pulled me snugly into the warmth and protection of his body. He didn't want to let go. I didn't want him to let go. Seth tried his best to be inconspicuous next to me, to give us a semblance of privacy. He collapsed his massive body into the smallest amount of space possible and kept his eyes trained out towards the car window. Jacob and I were lost in our own world and no one, Seth included, seemed to have the heart to intrude.

Throughout the almost four hour drive, I made frequent eye contact with Charlie through the rearview mirror. His dark eyes, eyes that looked so much like mine, said everything. He was scared for me. He was overwhelmed and probably feeling helpless. He was the Chief of Police. It was his job to protect people. And yet there was nothing he could do to protect me, other than letting me go. It went against everything he believed in. I hugged Jacob a little closer to me realizing that they both had a lot more in common than I originally thought. They would need each other to get through this. Of that I was certain.

Sue looked as though she would burst into tears at any moment. She had been through so much in such a short time. She had lost her husband suddenly and as a result, had been thrust into a whole new world with monsters. And now, she was losing her son. We were all hopeful, confident even that Seth and I would return home soon enough. But I think we were all saddled with fear and doubt; with the possibility that maybe, just maybe, this might be the last time any of us would see each other.

And despite all that, Sue looked conflicted. I could see it in her eyes; in the way she proudly held her giant of a son in her thin arms. In a sense, she was proud and honored that her son was serving such an important role. Above everyone else, he was chosen to see this through. But, he was her baby. And wolf or not, he was still her son. He was young, despite his looks. Charlie kept one hand on the steering wheel and the other wrapped comfortingly around Sue's hand, their fingers intertwined. And all the while, I tried to absorb the love and the familial warmth, because I knew my loneliness would be unbearable.

At the airport, we all stood awkwardly in a circle in front of the ticket counter. It was just after dawn and the airport was waking up to deal with the day's ebb and flow of activity. I pulled Seth aside so that we could check out the available departing flights. We saw a flight leaving for Dallas, Texas in an hour, and since we already had Texas identification, we agreed that it was as good a place as any to begin our exile.

We bought the tickets and walked back to our parents who waited nervously. Sue broke the silence by pulling Seth to her and hugging him to within an inch of his life. She inundated him with motherly advice and he indulged her by listening to every word without complaint.

Charlie looked as though he wanted to say something, and Jacob took a few steps back to give him some space. Charlie reached for me and hugged me.

"I'm sorry we didn't really get a chance to say good-bye, Dad." He pulled away and held me at the elbows.

"What do you mean? What do you think we're doing here?" His tone was light and accompanied by a smile. But I could see the sorrow in his eyes.

"You know what I mean." I was torn. I felt guilty for spending that time with Jacob in my bedroom. It was selfish of me. And yet, if I had it to do over again, I wouldn't have changed a thing. It didn't make me feel any better for neglecting my father. I had done enough of that in one lifetime.

Charlie smiled grimly and looked back at Jacob, who stood waiting to the side. Despite Jacob's stoic façade, it was apparent to anyone who knew him that he was on the verge of falling apart at any moment. Charlie sighed and turned his attention back to me. "If I've learned anything today," he said, "it's that the two of you needed that time more than I did."

I wanted to argue that regardless, he was my father and he deserved just as much of my time. But, I knew in my heart that it would be a lie; that though I loved my father and would miss him and worry about him, it was the lack of Jacob's touch that would have me losing sleep.

"It's okay, Bells," he said, nodding with understanding. "You gave me a lot to digest tonight, what with all the stuff about," he dropped his voice to a whisper, "vampires and werewolves." He looked around anxiously before continuing. "And, I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to process it all and lose you at the same time."

"I'm so sorry, Dad." I hated myself for dumping all my problems onto his lap and then walking away. I knew it wasn't fair to him.

He squeezed my hand. "I know you are. But, you gave me a gift tonight."

My brows furrowed and he smiled at my confused stare. "Bells, you coming to live here was the best thing that ever happened to me. But, the happiness I felt was always…empty. You were here, physically. But, we were worlds apart. I now realize just how literal that distance was. I thought that I was a horrible father, to have let Renee take you away. I thought you hated me for not fighting for you. But, letting you go was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Your mother didn't want to stay. And you couldn't be split two ways. I let you go thinking you'd be happier with your mother. And when you came to live with me, I thought you were forgiving me. But, then Edward…," he trailed off, frowning.

"Dad," I shook my head desperately. "I never blamed you for anything. I just…I was selfish."

Charlie sighed. "It doesn't matter anymore. Tonight, you let me in. You stopped all the lying and you let me know _you_; the real you. It's scary and I swear I'd like to beat you over the head for some of the things you've gotten yourself into over these past two years. But, at least…well, at least now I know. I don't feel that distance anymore. And, for that I'm grateful."

"You could have left tonight, without a word, and I wouldn't have known what happened to you. I know you've never meant to hurt me, but it was the not knowing, the not knowing what I did to make you run away that always killed me. I'm scared to death right now that you're running for your life, and I can't do anything to help you. But, at least I know why you're leaving, and that you'd be home if you could. That alone should help me sleep better at night."

He hugged me again. I was overwhelmed and couldn't speak. "Don't worry about a thing, kiddo," he said. "Now that I'm in the loop, you better believe I'm going to be checking up on Jacob and The Cullens every day if I have to. We're going to work together and find a solution to this problem so that we can bring you home, where you belong."

I nodded, letting his words reassure me. "I can't believe this is happening," he said. Then, he went into typical Chief of Police mode. "Okay, now be careful, Bells. Remember, constant vigilance is key. If you think anything looks strange or suspicious, you and Seth get the hell out of there. And," he added sternly, "don't you dare leave Seth's side. I know you have your independent streak, but he's here to protect you. Don't forget it."

"I know, Dad. We'll be careful. I promise." He hugged me again. It was so strange for us to show so much affection towards one another. It was odd. I felt perfectly comfortable showing my love for Jacob, and Charlie seemed to be comfortable showing his love for Sue. I guess it was something that we just needed to work on. We stayed like that for a few silent moments and then I pulled away.

"Dad," I looked towards the displays and saw that our flight was going to be boarding soon. Charlie followed my eyes and stiffened. "All right," he said. "I love you, Bells. And, I'll try to get one of those untraceable phones that Alice gave you so that we can talk."

"I'd like that." My voice was a choked whisper. I didn't trust myself to say anything else because I was afraid that I would burst into tears and never be able to stop.

Charlie glanced behind him and saw that Jacob was anxiously awaiting his turn to say his good-byes. Charlie sighed, smiled at me and then patted Jacob on the arm. Jacob smiled weakly in acknowledgement and took me into his arms. He held me in the most soothing, loving hug I'd ever experienced. There were no more words left to say. We'd said everything that needed to be said up in my bedroom. He rested his forehead against mine and inhaled deeply, like he wanted to memorize my scent. We were not saying good-bye. We wouldn't.

Jacob placed me gently on the floor. He gave me a chaste kiss on the lips and simply said, "Come back to me."

I hugged him fiercely. My mouth was muffled by his chest, but I knew he could hear me when I whispered, "Always."

He released me from his grasp and Seth threw his arm over my shoulder, directing me towards the security line. We began the long walk towards our gate and into the unknown. My heart was breaking and only Seth's strength kept me upright.

Neither one of us looked back.

**A/N: No excuses, no apologies. This chapter took a HELL of a long time for me to write. And trust me when I say, I've been writing it on and off for months now. So, hopefully the length (my longest yet) will make up for my long hiatus.**

**As usual I would like to thank my friend Christine reading over this chapter. And of course, I need to thank Neha whose constant encouragement and eye for detail helped make this chapter possible. **

**We're getting to the end my friends. Thank you for sticking with me on this (seemingly) never-ending journey.**

**Erin**


	42. Chapter 42

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do not.**

**A/N: Yes, I know. This took way too long for me to post. I apologize. I just want to thank you all for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate it. I especially want to thank those who left anonymous reviews: manadog93, megan39, ninny, kc, isipare, Anony, twilightlover212, twilightfansince2009, Anonymous, Emily, liana, Angel, ajaxmom, jazz88 and chassy.**

**CHAPTER FORTY-TWO **

I was quiet throughout the flight to Dallas. It was a small plane, only two seats on either side of the aisle. I took the window seat while Seth boxed me in, stretching his long legs out into the aisle as much as he could in the confining space. I stared out the window watching the take-off and landing. I was going through the motions, but my mind was numb, blank. I was over a thousand miles away, but my heart was in the cool, rainy forests of the Pacific Northwest. An empty shell was all that remained.

When we landed, Seth took the reins. He saw that I was in no condition to make decisions and acted accordingly. He got us a taxi that took us to a local hotel where we checked in for a couple of nights. We didn't really have a plan apart from leaving Forks. And sleep was our top priority before we could regroup and decide on our next course of action.

Seth carried our things into our room. I looked around and saw the two generic, queen sized beds. I didn't balk at the thought of sharing a room with Seth. I was terrified and having him close by eased my mind somewhat. After a cursory glance at our temporary surroundings, I walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind me.

Behind closed doors, my walls came crashing down around me. I fell to the floor, too tired and weak to carry my own weight and I cried. Any semblance of strength I had in front of Jacob, or in front of my father, was now gone. I cried out with the force of my heart breaking into millions of jagged pieces. I cried until my throat was dry and hoarse and my body shook uncontrollably.

The floodgates had opened and I was helpless to close them again. A part of me didn't even want to. I was exhausted and I wanted nothing more than to give into the overwhelming despair. Fighting it was too hard. I just didn't think I had the strength left to keep fighting it. The cold from the tile floor seeped into my body, chilling me to the bone. But I didn't care. I was numb; freezing from the inside out. I cried for myself and everyone I loved, shaking with fear and dread.

I don't know how long I was in that bathroom. Time ceased to have any meaning for me. But, when the bulk of my tears had abated, I sat there, in a deadened haze, sucking in heaving breaths. It was at that point that I heard a knock on the door.

"Bella?" Seth's voice was tentative, nervous.

"Leave me alone," I mumbled quietly, knowing full well that he could hear me.

"I'd like to," Seth replied, "but if you don't come out of there my bladder is going to explode!"

And just like that, Seth snapped me out of my self-pitying stupor enough for me to jump to my feet and wipe the tears from my eyes. I was ashamed that I could behave so selfishly. I opened the door to find Seth dancing around with a pained look on his face. I opened my mouth to apologize, but he just shook his head and reached for me, picking me up and setting me back down outside of the bathroom. He disappeared in a blur behind the bathroom door which slammed shut in my face.

I sucked in a surprised gasp. And, then the strangest thing happened. I felt myself begin to smile.

I heard the toilet flush and then the sink running, followed immediately by Seth's sheepish but relieved face emerging from the bathroom. He took one look at me and frowned. "It's not funny," he groused. "It's a proven fact that if you hold it in too long you could die. I could have _died_, Bella!"

I bit my lower lip in an attempt to hold back the laughter. But it didn't work. I burst out laughing, doubling over and clutching my stomach. My muscles were already sore from the torrent of tears I had shed. Seth winked at me and then he gave me a wolfish grin. I laughed until it turned to tears. Seth reached for me and held me in his arms.

"It's okay," he said, his mouth pressed against my hair. "It's going to be okay."

I nodded, not knowing what else to say. I relished in the comfort he so easily offered me. The poor kid had allowed me the time to wallow in self-pity, for hours on end, to the detriment of his own physical comfort. If I was away from the people I loved, then so was he. I told myself to remember that; that no matter what, Seth and I were in this together. He was here to help me. It wouldn't exactly help matters if I shut him out and turned into a zombie.

Things were different now. I wasn't the insecure girl abandoned in the forest. I was a young woman with a promising future ahead of me. And more to the point, Seth needed me just as much as I needed him. Life on the run wouldn't be easy. But I owed it to Seth. Hell, I owed it to myself to be strong. And if I couldn't be strong in fact, then I would try my damndest to fake it.

Seth and I got a lot accomplished in those first two weeks. We didn't really give ourselves time to be depressed about our circumstances. Our top priority was buying a car, because we couldn't stay cooped up in that hotel room. More importantly, we needed transportation so we could make a speedy escape when necessary.

I wanted to buy something small, economical. But I found I couldn't say no to Seth's puppy dog eyes when he pleaded and argued that a large SUV would not only be more comfortable for him, but it would allow us to purchase and carry things as needed along the way. I simply shook my head when we drove off the lot in a brand new Escalade; paid for in cash.

After spending a week in that first hotel, surviving solely on fast food, we decided that a serious change was in order. Being miserable with our lot in life was no excuse for poor nutrition. We needed to stay sharp and focused, and frankly, if I had any more Big Macs, Seth was going to have to roll me out of the door.

With the help from our hotel's concierge, we found another hotel geared towards long-term stays. It was set up like an apartment with two bedrooms, two bathrooms and a kitchen. I could've kissed the hotel manager when he showed it to us because I didn't think I could share a bathroom with Seth for much longer. He was a sweet kid, but if I had to lower the toilet seat one more time, I was going to lose what remained of my fragile mind.

Lucky for us, basic furniture was already provided. We had beds, dressers, couches and even a dining room table and set of chairs. All we needed were the basics; sheets, towels and pots and pans. So, we hit the local Walmart and loaded up the Escalade with everything we could possibly need, including every game system known to man. According to Seth, we needed something to fill our time or we'd go crazy after a month. I wasn't about to argue with him.

I couldn't believe it when a full month had passed. We neared the end of July and were moving into August. The weather was hot and stifling. Our shared discomfort helped to mask our personal misery. I was quite proud of myself for maintaining a strong façade in front of Seth. We were each other's rocks. I couldn't let him down, even though I was dying inside. I missed Jacob with every fiber of my being. But, knowing that he was making progress at home was enough to keep me going.

The meeting with the five different Alphas from across the country had gone rather well, up until they realized that they'd be working alongside The Cullens. It seems that Old Quil had neglected to mention the fact that we had vampire allies. According to Jacob, the Alphas were enraged and high-tailed it out of La Push so fast it made Jacob's head spin. All hope would've been lost if not for Jacob. He flew across country with Quil and Embry to meet with each Alpha individually in an attempt to convince them to come back and help. To this day, I'm not sure exactly what Jacob did or said to convince the other wolves to return. Although they did so grudgingly, the other wolves were back and training side by side with The Cullens.

There were a total of fifty wolves willing to fight and help bring down the Volturi. But it was impossible for all of them to be in La Push, (waiting for the Volturi to strike), at the same time. After all, these men had their own families and tribes to protect back home. So Jacob devised a system wherein at least two members from each tribe stayed in La Push at any given time, giving us at least ten additional fighters. They were put on a rotating schedule, giving everyone the opportunity to come to La Push and train for the big battle while also having free time to spend with their own families. And of course, Carlisle happily footed the bill for all of their travel expenses.

In September, my twentieth birthday came and went without incident. Heretofore, I had feared growing older. Now, all I cared about was getting the opportunity to live to see my next birthday. Of course, I was more depressed than ever thinking about my loved ones back home. This birthday was nothing like the one before when Jacob and I had made love in the woods; his body keeping me warm throughout the night. I yearned for him with every passing day. Hearing his voice on the phone was a poor substitute for the real thing. And as if that wasn't enough, September also signaled the beginning of a new school year, one that I would not be attending.

At first, the thought of Jacob starting his second year in college without me hurt. I mean, we had planned to attend together. But, plans change, as I was so callously reminded by the fact that I was still in Texas with Seth. Of course, when I really thought about it, I was proud of Jacob. He could've very easily postponed college considering his growing responsibilities at home. But, he insisted on sticking to our plans as much as possible. He was working towards our future and he refused to let the dark cloud of The Volturi darken our dreams.

I hated the thought of not going to school. I wanted to go to class and expand my mind. I wanted to go back to work at the publishing house. Instead, my life revolved around visiting a few museums here and there and then sitting around the apartment playing video games all day. Seth was a smart kid and he was fun to talk to. But, without school and work, my life lacked the brain stimulation I so desperately craved.

Thinking about school had me thinking about my roommate. I worried about Liz. After all, she was the first real "human" friend I had made since being introduced into the supernatural world. We had already committed to living together for the fall semester, and as far as she was concerned, I had disappeared without a trace. I feared that my disappearance would worry her, or worse piss her off so that she'd never speak to me again.

Of course, the worst part was that Seth was barely sixteen and missing a vital year of schooling. Not that I heard him complaining, of course. He felt that his job as my personal protector far outweighed learning algebra and biology. He had a point, to a degree. But, once again I was saddled with the guilt of keeping him from reaching his full potential, all because he had to babysit me.

As the weeks passed, Seth and I grew bored and anxious. We couldn't exactly work. We didn't know how long we would stay in any given place. Plus, we wanted to leave as small of a paper trail as possible. We did have aliases, but our pictures were always the same. We couldn't take the risk of exposing ourselves to human resource databases and the like. Every day, Seth and I braced for the shit to hit the proverbial fan. We lived in constant fear, not to mention perpetual vigilance.

As if that wasn't enough, I worried about Charlie constantly. The only thing that soothed me was the knowledge that we parted on good terms. Everything was out in the open between us. I was blessed with the knowledge that my father loved me and accepted me, despite everything I'd put him through. That alone offered immense comfort on those lonely nights.

Charlie wasn't taking the separation well. Not that I could blame him. In one night I had introduced him to the supernatural world, and then left him to deal with it on his own. Sure, he had Sue and Billy to comfort him. But, he was sick with worry about me. I just worried that the stress would be too hard on him.

Luckily, Charlie obtained his own untraceable cell phone. Although we couldn't talk as often as I'd like, it was nice to know that I didn't have to shut him out completely. Our conversations were vital to my sanity. His fatherly concern was like a balm amidst all the fear and doubt.

I couldn't help but feel terrible about the mess I had left in my wake. Charlie was able to brush off my absence for a few weeks, but after two months had passed he decided to come up with a cover story. Unfortunately for me, his cover story didn't exactly paint me in a great light. He ended up telling his friends and co-workers, hell, anyone who would listen that his moody daughter had taken off to find herself. Thanks to the stunts I had pulled over the past two years, the story was deemed rather plausible and accepted without many questions.

I had stifled a disgruntled snort when my father told me that one. His cover story was yet another blow to my already shoddy reputation. What must the people of Forks think of me? After all, this wasn't the first time I had up and abandoned my father without a word. I shook my head ruefully. There was nothing I could do about other people's opinions. All I cared about was the fact that my father knew the truth, for once. Hell, I would look forward to dealing with the pointed looks and behind-my-back whispers if it meant I could be home, where I belonged.

There was also the matter of my mother. There was no point in sending her another untraceable phone. It would just raise too many questions. So I called her and gave her my new cell phone number and just made sure that I was regular with my updates. She was ignorant of the supernatural forces in my life. Unlike Charlie, who lived with vampires and wolves every day, Renee was far removed from that world. And I was willing to do everything in my power to keep it that way.

November ushered in the holiday season and with it came an even deeper depression. When I agreed to leave home, I never fully believed that I would be forced to stay away this long. I had no idea that I would be away from Jacob and from my family and friends at a time of year geared towards family, festivities and togetherness.

Seth and I finally got tired of living in Dallas. We had seen all there was to see. We hadn't run into any danger, but that didn't mean it wasn't lurking behind every dark corner. So, we packed up the Escalade and headed to Vegas. We figured that Vegas would be the perfect place to hide, at least for a while. We would blend in with the masses and enjoy perfect anonymity. And with our fake IDs, we were left with more options for entertainment. We rented a two-bedroom condo a few miles off of the strip and proceeded to blend in with all the other people trying to find a home amidst the bright lights.

It felt as though life was moving on without me, and it was hard not to feel left out. After months of waffling about it, Charlie and Sue decided to get married, with our blessings of course. They didn't want to at first. They wanted their family to be whole when they took their vows. And as much as Seth and I wanted to be there to share in their joy, Seth agreed with me that there was no time to waste. They had to take the happiness that had been given to them, because we all understood how precious little time we really had.

So, Sue and Charlie got married outside of city hall with Billy, Jacob, Leah and Jack as their only witnesses. They wanted the ceremony to be small because they were planning a huge party to celebrate their nuptials once Seth and I finally made it home. It gave us all something to look forward to.

Charlie and Sue's marriage did a lot to ease my troubled mind. But, try as I might, nothing could prepare me for the sheer and utter sense of loneliness I felt without Jacob. His absence from my life was like a deep chasm carved into my heart. He had become so ingrained and integral to my existence that I was literally lost without him. I felt cold; a_ll_ the time. I needed him to warm my heart, my skin and my bed. I was going crazy without him and I could tell by his tone of voice over the phone that he felt the same way.

Things definitely were not easy between us. We belonged together, and yet again, external forces were conspiring to keep us apart. He was busy with training the new packs, going to school and taking care of his father. And though he was overloaded with duty and responsibility, his chief concern was that he wasn't around to protect me personally.

We talked about how much we missed each other. And though neither of us was truly alone, we couldn't shake the sense of sheer and utter loneliness. He never mentioned it, (frankly because I believe he didn't want to acknowledge it), but deep down we were both feeling the pull of the imprint.

I needed his companionship. I needed to feel his body warming my own. I missed his barking laughter and those blinding smiles. I missed seeing how my presence alone could soothe him and ease his worries. I missed how safe and happy he made me feel; how fulfilled I was when I was with him. I'd had my heart broken before. But his absence made me feel as though my very soul was shattering.

After a few months apart, I noticed our conversations taking a turn. Other than asking me to come back to him, (which he said at the end of every one of our conversations), Jacob started to bring up…more intimate topics of discussion. He began to steer the conversations more towards our carnal desires.

I would whine and tell him that I missed him. And he'd say something like, "Baby, I miss being between your thighs." At first, I think he made the lewd, suggestive comments to distract me from missing him so much. But the more comments he made, the harder it was to ignore them. Deep down, I craved his words, because they reminded me of how desirable I was to him.

His voice alone had ignited a passion within me that could not find relief. When he told me he missed me, he would add that he was "dying to prove it to me, over and over again." It had gotten to the point where I needed to take a cold shower after every phone call.

And there I was, every day taking my birth control pills religiously and as instructed, hoping against hope that tomorrow would be the day I could go home. I wanted to be prepared. Jacob had my blood boiling so hot that I was going to jump him the moment I saw him, without uttering a single word of welcome.

Jacob was rather proud of the effect he had on me, even with hundreds of miles between us. His husky voice rubbed against my skin like velvet. He promised me that he could "do things to me with just his fingers" that I hadn't even heard of yet. He had me feeling, dare I even admit it, hornier than I'd ever been in my entire life. I felt like I was climbing the walls, desperate and eager for some kind of relief. It had gotten to the point where a cool breeze kissing my skin would send tingles straight down to my core.

One particular conversation nearly had me climaxing on the spot with no other stimulation other than the sexy timbre of his voice and the promise of all the things he planned to do to me.

It was an unseasonably warm night. It was steaming and muggy outside. The humidity was off the charts, far beyond anything Seth and I were used to. Seth has insisted on keeping the air conditioning thrumming throughout the night, saying it would be unbearable for him otherwise. And knowing he already dealt with an elevated body temperature, I couldn't have agreed more.

Although the apartment was cool, I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned getting tangled up in my sheets. The cotton clung to me like a second skin. My heart raced and I knew I needed something; or better yet, _someone_ to ease my body and soul.

It was two in the morning when I broke down and called Jacob. Seth was snoring contentedly in the room next door. I needed Jacob like an addict needs her next fix, and I didn't exactly need Seth to be privy to the conversation I was about to have.

Jacob answered after the first ring, and once I assured him that everything was all right, he relaxed. "So," he said. "It's two in the morning for me. It's got to be just as late for you, wherever you are. If you're okay, you must want to talk about something really important for you to call this late. Is there…anything I can do for you?"

His voice was a gentle purr. I could feel the wide smile on his face and I knew he was taunting me, daring me to admit why I was really calling. The tension had been building between us for months and I was beyond caring. I didn't want to play any games. I felt no shame whatsoever in telling him that I ached for him; that if I didn't find some relief soon, I would combust.

"Jake," I moaned, incapable of disguising the depth of my desire. "God I need you."

That seemed to get his attention, because I could hear a cacophony of activity on the other end of the line; the sound of slamming doors and heavy footsteps on gravel filled my ears.

"Jake, you still there?" I asked after several moments of silence, apart from Jacob's labored breathing.

"I ran out to the garage," he replied breathlessly, "so that we could be alone."

I was silent for a few moments, excited about what that could mean.

"So, where's Seth," he asked, almost casually.

"What?" I asked, completely confused about how our conversation had strayed to my roommate. "He's asleep," I stuttered. "He's asleep in the next room," I added nervously.

"Thank God," he replied. "For once we can have some privacy."

I swallowed hard. As usual, Jacob knew exactly what I needed, and he was doing everything he could to give it to me. Whereas, a moment ago all I could think about was finding relief, now I felt embarrassed because we'd never really done anything like this before.

"I don't know if I can take much more of this, Bells. I want you. You're all I think about. I can still smell you on my pillows and in my sheets. And God," he paused, his voice strained, "every time I take a shower I imagine you're in there with me; your skin all slippery with soap."

I gulped, sucking in air desperately. "Jake, I…what are you doing?" I was breathless and more than a little excited.

"Don't go shy on me now, Bells. You said you needed me. I can hear it in your voice. You've been depriving yourself baby, and I'm about to give you…us, exactly what we need."

I bit my lip, worrying the flesh between my teeth. "You mean, you…you touch yourself?"

Jacob laughed heartily. "Yeah, every god-damned day. Sometimes several times a day. I told you. You're all I think about. It's not the same as having you, obviously. But, I can't seem to stop myself."

It was invigorating to know that I was affecting him just as much as he was affecting me.

"Let's start slow," he said. I could hear him rustling about and then the sound of a car door opening and closing. And I knew he was sitting in his Rabbit. "There, that's better," he said, and then he started laughing.

"What's so funny," I asked, genuinely curious.

"I'm just sitting in the backseat of the Rabbit. Remember that time I tried to rock your world in here?"

I couldn't help but laugh. I snuggled down into my bed with my phone pressed to my ear and I had a mile-wide grin across my face. "Actually, I remember almost being concussed from hitting my head on the roof of the car. Not our best moment."

"Ah, you must have hit your head harder than I thought, because I don't think your memory is as good as mine. Up until that point, we were having a pretty good time."

I laughed again. Warmth radiated throughout my body when I realized that Jacob was doing everything in his power to put me at ease. He wanted me, but more importantly, he wanted me to feel comfortable. It was like falling in love with him all over again.

"So honey, what are you wearing?"

"Really?" Now he was just downright amusing. "You're going to start with that?"

"Hey, you couldn't handle what I really want to start with," he said. His voice was pure sex. My breasts heaved in response.

"So," he continued. "What are you wearing?"

"Um," I stuttered. "I'm wearing one of your t-shirts. It still smells like you. I like," I paused, not knowing how to finish my thought.

"Yeah," he urged me to push beyond my shyness. "You like what, baby?"

"I like pretending I'm feeling your skin on mine"

He groaned. "Ah, you're killing me. Is that it? Are you naked underneath my shirt?"

"Um, no," I replied breathlessly. "I'm still wearing my panties."

"Which ones?"

I giggled. "Don't get too excited, Jake. I'm just wearing some plain, white cotton ones."

This time he groaned even louder. "Don't get too excited?" he cried. "Those are my favorite kind. Do you know how sexy you look in those?" His breathing grew heavier through the phone. "I keep having this fantasy about you; about us."

"A recurring fantasy?" I was intrigued.

"Oh yeah," he replied. "I keep imagining that I find you, wherever you are, and I practically break down your door. And, you're standing there in pretty much what you're wearing now. Only, in my fantasy, there are no panties."

"Oh," I smiled indulgently, more than happy to be playing along. "And what happens next?"

"The only thing that can happen, I pick you up in my arms, press you against the wall and have you screaming my name so loudly it would wake your neighbors."

"Um," I replied feebly. My temperature was rising and that oh so familiar ache between my legs was threatening to consume me. "Whatever happened to romancing me?" I asked. Not that I needed romancing. What he had just described sounded more than promising and definitely satisfactory.

"Don't worry, Sweetheart. The romance and the loving would come after I had my wicked way with you up against the wall. God, the things I want to do to you," he moaned. "I wouldn't leave you in peace for a week straight. You'd be my naked love slave. I'd love you so hard and so much that you wouldn't even be able to walk once I'm through with you." He sighed and said, "It would be a dream come true."

My brain was completely fried. I had absolutely nothing to say in response. My heart pounded so loudly in my ears that I was sure that Jacob could hear it all the way in La Push.

Jacob's voice was thick, telling me he was just as affected by his own words. "Bells, take your panties off. I can't touch you, but you can touch yourself. I want you to pretend it's me; that it's my fingers sliding through that hot, wet, pink flesh of yours. Come on baby, do it for me. I need to hear you moan my name."

My face flushed, fire burning up to my ears and down my neck. Jacob's proposition was so tempting. I needed his touch like I needed oxygen. I found myself panting with indescribable need.

"What about you?"

"Oh, I'm way ahead of you, honey. I've already got my…hands full. I'm just pretending your soft little fingers are wrapped around me. Come on, baby. Take them off."

I moaned, writhing in my bed. I rubbed my thighs together, trying to alleviate the burning ache. "Okay, I'm gonna take them off. Hold on." I placed the phone down beside me and reached under the sheets. I fumbled for the flimsy material and pulled them down my legs and off, over my feet. I tossed them on the floor and picked the phone up again.

"Okay, they're off. Now it's your turn."

"Already done."

"What? You mean you're naked right now? You're naked in the garage?"

He chuckled, "Naked as the day I was born. But, we still have a problem here, Bells."

"We do?"

"Yeah, you're still wearing your shirt. I want those gorgeous breasts free. I want to imagine the cool air hardening those pink nipples of yours." I was with him, word for word. His voice was like a tender caress on my skin. His wish was my command. I dropped the phone and tugged his shirt off and over my head, letting the soft sheets kiss my naked skin. I picked the phone up and said, "All right, it's off. I'm all yours."

He groaned. "God, you don't know how much I wish that was true."

"Jake, what am I supposed to do now?"

I could hear the smile in his voice when he said, "Do what feels right. Pretend it's me. You know how you like me to touch you."

"Yes," I moaned, closing my eyes and imagining his warm hands exploring my body beneath the sheets.

"Just let your hands trail down your chest. Squeeze your breasts for me. Then slide a hand down your flat belly towards the hottest, sweetest part of you."

My breath hitched while my body gave into his gentle urging. My hands obeyed his will and I let them drift down my body, past my belly, heading towards my hips. Right before my hand reached the apex of my thighs, I moaned in anticipation of the pleasure and relief I was about to experience. "Oh God," I cried out, just as Jacob moaned, "Yes!"

I should have known something was amiss because Seth wasn't snoring anymore. Unfortunately, I was otherwise occupied so I hadn't noticed. All of a sudden, the mood was shattered when I heard loud banging on the wall near my head. I was startled by the sudden din in the otherwise quiet house. I cried out and dropped the phone, sitting up with a start. I clutched the sheet to my naked chest as the banging was met with loud coughing.

I cringed, vowing that I hated my life. I didn't know at what point Seth had woken up, but he did. And his loud banging and feigned hacking cough were his not so subtle way of letting us know that we now had an audience. I was completely mortified. So much for sneaking a private moment. Seth's ill-timed interruption was like having a bucket of ice cold water dumped on my head. I composed myself and fumbled for the phone.

"Jake?"

I was met with a strained sigh. "I'm gonna kill that kid," he said. Of course, I thought. With Jacob's superhuman hearing, he would've heard the ruckus Seth was making. "I don't suppose you'd still want to…" he began. But, I wouldn't even let him finish the thought.

"No," I answered, my tone sharper than I intended. The mood was utterly and completely ruined. Jacob sighed again, only this time he sounded more resolved. I heard the rustling of clothes and the opening of a car door. "Yeah, I figured as much. Well, I better get back inside. I'm sure my Dad's wondering what happened to me." He paused and said the words that simultaneously broke my heart and caused it to soar. "I love you, Bells. Please come back to me."

"Always," I replied. I ended the call and stared up at the ceiling. In the room next door I heard Seth mumble, just loud enough for me to hear, "Wow, what a weird dream." I rolled my eyes at his lame, made-up excuse. Seth and I were due for a long discussion about personal boundaries. A part of me was grateful that Seth spoke up when he did. God knows I didn't want to subject him to any more trauma from my "personal" life. But, a much larger part of me wished that he'd kept his mouth shut at least until I had found some relief; emotional scarring be damned.

Instead, I went to bed that night, as I did every other night, feeling unfulfilled and lonely. I couldn't be away from Jacob much longer. Aside from the emotional and mental anguish I endured, the physical separation was above and beyond what I was capable of dealing with.

So by the time Thanksgiving rolled around, I was thoroughly exhausted. The toll was getting to me, breaking me down. I made sure to make all the holiday fixings for Seth, even though my heart wasn't in it. We spent the day the way any typical American would. We watched a lot of football, (well Seth did), we ate a lot of food, (again, Seth did most of the eating), and then we talked to our friends and family over the phone. And I continued to long for something I knew I couldn't have.

Seth and I never did talk about that night. I think we both thought it best to pretend it never happened. We were able to look each other in the eye that way. As the months passed me by, I found myself gravitating towards Seth and the support he offered. The holidays were rough on both of us; being away from home and all of our friends and loved ones. I grew ever grateful that Seth was standing by my side. He never complained. He showed genuine care and concern when it came to me. He was like a brother to me and it was nice to know that he was there to watch my back.

Sadly, by Christmas we were both thoroughly depressed. It could've been worse. I mean, we had food and a roof over our heads, so we really had no right to complain. But we were missing our loved ones with an ache that was downright crippling.

I was devoid of all Christmas cheer. Just call me Scrooge, it would've been more appropriate. I didn't even want a tree or to decorate. After all, we had just relocated, _again_. Only this time we opted for Albuquerque, New Mexico. We left Vegas mid-December and drove across country at a leisurely pace until we ended up in New Mexico. We got into our new apartment just a few days before Christmas. And I wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea of celebrating when we were just settling in.

But, my bad mood couldn't keep Seth down. We wouldn't have even had a tree if it weren't for Seth's insistence. I just couldn't say no to his sweet, puppy dog eyes. So we ended up with a Charlie Brown sized Christmas tree, covered in a few cheap ornaments from the local drugstore. I tried to stay happy and upbeat for his sake. Here he was, hundreds of miles away from his loved ones, solely because of me. We hadn't seen our families in over six months. Nothing we did or said could convey the utter loneliness we felt.

So, with a fake smile settled firmly in place, Seth and I trimmed the tree. And on Christmas Eve we watched The Christmas Story on an endless loop. It was nothing like the Christmas before, where we were surrounded by our loved ones and exchanging presents by the tree. This year, there would be no presents, at least none from the people we loved. We couldn't risk sending packages back and forth. Not that the presents mattered. They never did. It was just nice to give your loved ones something meaningful.

Seth and I exchanged a couple of gifts, nothing big. It was just another example of following the expected traditions blindly. But, despite the food I made, the Christmas carols we sang, our hearts just weren't in it.

Seth and I woke up late Christmas morning. If I had any hopes or expectations of a Christmas miracle, they were quickly dashed to pieces when I woke up alone, in another generic bedroom, in yet another town, far away from home. I got out of bed, on autopilot, and decided to continue with the charade of being happy. I decided to make Seth a huge brunch to celebrate. When we sat at the table, I found that my appetite was completely gone. I felt incredibly overwhelmed. My education had been put on hold, I had been torn away from my family and I was constantly threatened with a painful death by my enemies. In a manner of speaking, I had declared war against the Volturi by "running away." My actions would lead to the demise of the Volturi and would save thousands upon thousands of lives. I had been strong for six months straight. And all of a sudden, the weight of the world was just too much to bear.

I dropped my fork and burst into tears right over my stack of pancakes. Luckily for Seth, he had already inhaled his food because my breakdown definitely distracted him from his plate. He rushed to my side, understanding in his eyes.

"Bella, you're okay," he said, rubbing my back. He knelt on the floor next to my chair with his arm around me and just kept whispering that everything would be alright. I knew I was feeling sorry for myself. I couldn't help it. I had done everything that was asked of me and the pressure had finally gotten to me.

Seth let me cry. I cried until I had no tears left. I cried until my eyes were so puffy that I could barely see through them. I cried until my throat was so parched that I couldn't even drink the water Seth offered.

I didn't know how long we sat there. Any concept of time had evaded me. I just remember Seth carrying me to my room and tucking me into my bed. I only realized it was dark outside when he turned out the light. He paused at my bedroom door and said, "It's going to be okay, Bella. I promise." And then he closed the door behind him, leaving me in the dark.

Sleep was elusive, despite my exhaustion. So, I called Jacob because above all else, I needed to hear his voice and have him tell me that everything was going to be okay. And I wasn't disappointed. We talked for several minutes about how much we missed each other and how depressed we both were that we weren't snuggled near the Christmas tree together. Although I loved hearing his voice, our conversation still didn't remove the sting of my loneliness. As always, Jacob was perceptive, even over the phone and he instantly tried lighten the mood.

"Okay, you want to hear something crazy?" he asked. The quick change of subject had me intrigued.

"I don't know," I replied coyly. "Should I be nervous?"

He laughed. "No, it's nothing like that. Just another example of how messed up my head is."

"Well, I'm well aware of your mental state, so nothing you could say would scare me."

He sighed, but I could hear the smile in his voice. "You're just gonna laugh at me, but here it goes. So, I had this crazy ass dream last night."

I smiled, stifling a giggle. "You had a dream? What's so crazy about that?"

"It was more like a nightmare, Bells. It was terrible!"

"Wow, my big, bad werewolf is afraid of a _widdle_ dream? For shame, Jacob. For shame!"

"Yeah, you're hilarious, Bells! You're gonna take that back once you hear what it was about."

"Lay it on me, Jake." I already felt like the weight of my misery was lifting and being replaced with a newfound sense of hope. I snuggled down against my pillows, anxious to hear what had Jacob all bothered.

"Okay, so in the dream it was November. I know that because I was looking forward to Thanksgiving because that's when you were supposed to come home. So, I was counting the days. But, here's where things get messed up. For some reason I was watching a lot of television while I was waiting, and every time I'd watch a show, this video would pop onto the screen."

"That doesn't sound so weird," I commented, not seeing where his dream was going.

"Yeah, well, this video happened to be a wedding video of you and Edward. I swear to God, every time I turned the television on, there you were. And what was worse, the dream would flash to me roaming the streets of Seattle, for some reason, and everywhere I looked, there were billboards and bus advertisements of you and Edward looking all cozy like you were newlyweds. The picture of the two of you together was being shoved down my throat at every turn. I couldn't get away from it!"

"Okay, that is…weird." I didn't know what else to say. Jacob knew he had nothing to fear in terms of Edward. And yet I marveled at his imagination.

"I know. It's just, you can't control what your mind thinks sometimes, you know? It was just a bad dream. But I swear it felt more like a bad movie promotion. I guess I couldn't get it off my mind even though I knew how ridiculous it was."

"Well, as long as you're not dreaming about dating my demon spawn again, I'd say it was a mild dream."

And just like that, we were laughing and feeling a lot better despite our prolonged separation.

The rest of the holiday season passed by with no incident. I vowed not to have another breakdown, especially since Seth would tease me mercilessly for them. But, word from home wasn't all that encouraging. My disappearance was causing some unforeseen problems.

Carlisle was having a hard time contacting his various allies from around the world. So far, my disappearance had remained a secret. However, the fact that The Volturi still hadn't attacked was cause for concern. Despite the near radio silence from Italy, news began to filter in from around the world; and it was not good. Aro had decided to actively search out and "question" all of Carlisle's known associates. So, far none of them had been hurt. But that was only because none of them had been caught. Aro may not have gotten the needed information from them, but he still had the upper-hand. He was systematically separating Carlisle from everyone who had promised to help us wage war against the Volturi. Carlisle assured me that he would make contact with all of his friends, that all hope was not lost. But it was getting harder and harder to believe that.

The worst news to date was word that Tanya had disappeared. Rosalie and Emmett had planned a visit with her back in December and when they arrived, no one was home and there were no clothes in her closet. Rosalie was worried. It wasn't like Tanya to disappear like that without a word. Carmen and Eleazar, the remaining members of her coven were also concerned. But, they promised the Cullens to notify them as soon as they'd heard word.

When I spoke with Jacob about it, he was uneasy. He said that the whole thing meant one of two things. Either Tanya had decided to betray them to the Volturi, or the Volturi had taken her. Either way, that meant that Aro would find out about the wolves and our element of surprise; our very advantage would be lost. I prayed that that was not the case, but I waited in fear nonetheless.

The fear only grew as the weeks progressed. And of course, January left me in an even deeper funk. I missed Jacob's birthday. He was eighteen years old…finally. And I wasn't there to celebrate with him. He was already an adult in the eyes of his Pack and the tribe, but it was like he was growing into his role as a real man. I had nothing to offer him but my lame birthday wishes. I gave all my love over the phone, but it just wasn't the same. And still, the Volturi refused to act.

That left us midway through February feeling more depressed than ever before. Neither nor I envisioned being away from home this long. And as the months went by with no end in sight, we began to think that we would be stuck here for a whole year, if not longer. And short of Jacob leading the Pack and the Cullens to Volterra to take the Volturi out, Guard and all, that's exactly what would happen to us.

It had gotten to the point where we wondered if we should even bother staying away anymore. Thanks to Jacob's leadership and the training with the Cullens, all the additional wolves from the helper Packs were more than ready, willing and able to take on the Volturi. I figured that we could go home and get back to our lives while we waited for the inevitable attack. Based on my conversations with Jacob, I could tell he agreed with me and was almost tempted to recommend our return. But, Carlisle cautioned us to be patient, saying that he had a feeling that the Volturi would be making their move soon. So, we waited.

Seth and I figured that a change in scenery was much needed. So, in an effort to boost our morale, we decided to head out west and in Southern California. Seth wanted to stay in San Diego because he missed the ocean. I couldn't blame him. After all, he happened to live in one of the most beautiful beach communities in the country. And, Alice had been urging us to spend more money recently. (Probably because she felt guilty that we had been away from home for so long.) I didn't have the energy or the inclination to argue with her. So, I put a phone call into Mr. Jenks, telling him what we wanted, and within two hours he had a beach house reserved for the next two months.

When Seth and I arrived, our jaws dropped in awe. We had a three-story house, right on the beach. It had five bedrooms, a game room, not to mention a gourmet kitchen to die for. You walked into the front door and could see straight ahead into a wall of glass that looked out onto the crashing waves of the Pacific.

We each had master suites with large balconies where we could sit and eat or just listen to the seagulls. Plus, the home was fully furnished with warm, bright colors painted on every wall. It wasn't home. But it was the closest we had gotten to it in our exile.

By the time Valentine's Day rolled around I was violently bitter. Not even the beautiful beach weather could brighten my spirits. The pink hearts and streamers lining the aisles of the grocery store made me want to hurl. I picked petty fights with Seth because I needed somewhere to vent my frustration. And the jerk just took it and dished it right back which only infuriated me more.

The movie channels were inundated with love stories of passionate struggles and reunions. I think Seth purposely sought them out to see how angry I'd get. I wouldn't have had such a problem with all the saccharine sweet "love" talk…if I was getting any. But ultimately, I realized that I was turning into a complete spazz because I was sexually frustrated. I was getting to the point where I was about to tear out my hair. And the sick thing is that I'm pretty sure Seth knew it. I chalked it up to his wolfy senses, which aggravated me and grossed me out at the same time. But, true to our new-found sibling relationship, he was relentless with his teasing and never let me forget my raging hormones.

The actual day of that wretched holiday found us on the couch together, amidst a tentative truce, watching a movie. Seth wanted to watch a romantic comedy (to torment me of course) and I wanted to watch the mini-series adaptation of _Pride and Prejudice_, (to torment him). Somehow we compromised on the recent version of _Rambo_, which turned out to be the best choice. Though I had started the movie looking and feeling rather grumpy, the terrible acting and ridiculous killings ended up putting a grin on my face.

I had snacks laid out on the coffee table. If it was bad for you, we were eating it. While I was helping myself to the chocolaty contents of a heart-shaped box, out of the blue, Seth handed me a box of candy hearts. "I know it's not much," he said, bashfully. "But, I figured I'd get you a little something."

I nearly choked on the candy in my mouth as I stared down at the box in my hands. My mind instantly traveled back almost two years to what I had thought was the darkest period in my life. I looked at Seth who reminded me so much of a younger version of Jacob and tears sprang to my eyes. My heart swelled as I thought about the boy who was a heartsick best friend, desperately trying to get me to see him as something more. I wanted nothing more than to throw my arms around Jacob's neck and bury my face against his chest. But I couldn't. Instead, I just sat there, staring at the candy and let the tears fall.

Seth was wide-eyed and clearly confused. He pressed pause on the remote control and scratched the back of his head. "Okay, that was not the reaction I was expecting. You really hate Valentine's Day don't you?"

I smiled through my tears and shook my head. "It's not that, Seth. It's just…the candy reminds me of Jake and well, you know."

"Oh," he nodded, and then his face turned contemplative. He was lost in his own world for a moment and even I had to wonder what was going on in that head of his.

"What's up, Seth?"

He looked up, shyly. "Uh, what? Oh, nothing."

"It doesn't look like nothing," I replied. "You can talk to me."

He looked at me, long and hard, almost like he didn't recognize me. He opened his mouth, about to speak, then he shook his head as if thinking better of it. I inched closer to him and placed my hand on his arm. "Seth, you can tell me anything. You've been such a rock for me. Please, give me the chance to do the same for you."

"I just don't get it. I saw what you were like when Edward left you. Jacob's memories of that time are _vivid_. You were a basket case. You didn't eat, you didn't sleep. You closed yourself off from everybody. But, you're different now."

"Okay, so now I'm confused. Are you saying it's a bad thing that I'm not a basket case right now?"

He frowned. "No, it's just…I don't know why you would be like that for Edward, but not for Jacob."

I gave Seth a grim smile, understanding washing over me. Seth was just looking out for his friend; his brother. I had put Jacob through hell, both before and after we finally got together. Seth had seen what a mess I was when Edward left me. Even though he had been working all these months to hold me together, a part of him must have thought my cool composure reflected poorly on my feelings for Jacob.

"Seth, you've been with me every day for months. You know how much it's killing me not being with Jacob. I know you're just trying to look out for him, but how could you doubt how I feel about him?"

"I don't doubt your feelings for him. I mean, I've seen plenty that would convince me just how much you love him." He gave me a pointed look and I couldn't help but blush.

"You know I've been rooting for you two forever," he continued. "It's just, I see how you are with him, and I saw how you were after Edward, and I just can't seem to get my head around it. Your separation from Jacob just doesn't seem to be hitting you as hard as it should."

I choked back a grim laugh and eyed the junk food spread out on the coffee table. "Really? You think it's not hitting me as hard as it should? Seth, I'm eating myself out of my jeans!"

He chuckled but didn't look totally convinced. I sighed. "Look, things are different now, I'll admit that. But, it's not because I love Jacob less. It's because I love myself more."

Seth frowned again. "Okay, I realize that sounded kind of hokey. What I mean is I was a pathetic mess when Edward left me. I had little self-worth to begin with, and the abandonment I felt when he left erased any self-esteem I had left. I hadn't nurtured any of my friendships or relationships while I was with him. So, when he left, I was alone with this horrible burden of a secret to carry all by myself. But, I'm not that person anymore."

"I grew up, Seth. I'm a stronger person now than I was then. A lot has changed. And the most important change is that I have Jacob in my life to support and encourage me. I'm not a zombie right now, because I know how hard Jacob and the Pack are working to ensure my safety. Every day I fight the temptation to fall apart. And thank god for you, because you help me stay focused. Please don't compare what I'm feeling now to how I behaved then. Because, honestly, there's no comparison."

"I guess you can also chock it up to two extra years of growing up and, hopefully, maturing. I can't imagine having to be stuck as that eighteen year old girl for all of eternity, without ever having the opportunity to grow and change. Aside from getting you and other innocent people involved in this mess, I wouldn't change anything for the world. My choices led me to Jacob." When Seth still didn't look convinced I added, "I want to cry myself to sleep every night, Seth. I miss Jacob that much. But, I try not to give into that kind of behavior. I know that Jacob and the Pack and all those other strangers are putting their lives on the line to rid the world of The Volturi and to ensure my safety. I can't very well wallow in self-pity when they're doing so much for me, now can I?"

Seth thought about it and then he reached for my hand and squeezed it. "You know that Jacob and The Cullens are going to kill every one of them, right? You don't need to do anything crazy like sacrifice yourself. They're not going to lose this."

I squeezed Seth's hand in return and smiled. "I can honestly say that I have no doubt in my mind that we're going to win this. For me, it's not a matter of if they can, but when they will. I'm dying here, Seth. I want to go home."

He nodded. "And as far as sacrificing myself," I added with a smirk. "That is so not going to happen. The only way the Volturi are going to get me is to drag me away kicking and screaming. I'll _never_ walk willingly into their clutches again."

Seth chuckled. "Good to hear." He pressed play and resumed the gore-fest that was our movie.

I was actually getting into it again when Seth got a phone call. I figured it must be Sue checking in on him. "Hello," he said. "Oh hey…," he shut up rather quickly though and walked out of the room.

That was weird, I thought. But then an actor was blown in half by one bullet and my attention reverted back to the television screen. Five minutes later, Seth came out of his bedroom fully dressed and looking like he was about to leave.

"Bella," he said while reaching for his wallet and his keys. "I'm going to go get us some food. How does pizza sound?"

"Um, fine I guess." I looked at Seth but he refused to make eye contact with me. "But, why don't we just order in?"

He shook his head emphatically. "No, that's okay. I saw this new place I wanted to try and they don't deliver. Besides, I want to get some fresh air."

I looked behind me to the open sliding doors leading onto the balcony and took a deep breath of some fresh ocean air. "I don't know Seth. The air can't get any fresher right here." I turned my head back to Seth and it was clear that he was now agitated about something. "Is there something wrong?" I asked. "Who was on the phone?"

"Nothing's wrong," he said casually. He even attempted to look into my eyes, though I could tell he was technically focusing on a point above my left shoulder. "That was just my mom checking in. So," he changed the subject abruptly, "pizza it is then. I'll be right back."

"Wait," I scrambled off the couch. "I'll come with you." I looked down at my frumpy pajamas that I hadn't bothered getting out of that morning and smiled. "Just let me go change first."

For a second it almost looked as though Seth was panicking. But whatever emotion flashed across his face, he quickly got it under control. "Nah, Bella. That's okay. I already ordered it. I'm just going to pick it up and bring it back. No need for you to get all dressed up. I'll be there and back in…ten minutes, tops."

I sat back down on the couch. "Okay, I'll wait then."

Seth nodded. "Sounds like a plan. So, I'll be right back. Bella, please do not go anywhere. Jake would kill me if anything happened to you while I was gone."

My eyes narrowed. "When have I ever left without you? Seth, you've left me here alone before. Are you sure nothing's wrong? You're acting…weird. It's starting to freak me out here."

Now he really looked nervous. "Freak you out? Relax, Bella. Sheesh! I just want to make sure you don't go anywhere. No biggie. Anyway, I'll be right back."

He left the house without another word. And all of a sudden, the ridiculously over the top action movie didn't quite hold my interest. I was on edge; nervous. There was just something so odd about Seth's behavior that had me thinking the worst. My eyes wandered to every dark shadow not illuminated by the setting sun in the windows behind me. The day had been stolen away and had melted into dusk without me even noticing. What was normally a beautiful sight to behold now filled me with a sense of ominous foreboding.

I started to pace the living room. My eyes kept going back to the clock, counting the seconds until Seth would return. I didn't know why I was so agitated. Seth had left me alone plenty of times. It was necessary for our survival. Being around each other twenty-four hours a day non-stop would have driven us insane. There was just something about his attitude, his demeanor when he left that made me think something was up.

He told me that Sue had called him. But what if it was Carlisle? What if he had called to say that the Volturi were on the move? What if something had happened to Charlie? What if Seth was trying to figure out a way to break the news to me? Or what if it was worse? Maybe the Volturi had finally found us and had lured Seth out of the house to face them. What if the Volturi were right outside the door?

My cell phone's shrill ring startled me. I screamed and jumped about a foot into the air. Calm down you freak, I told myself. I was getting carried away for no reason. Seth was acting a little strangely, but maybe it had more to do with feeling cooped up in the house all day. It was just like me to think that there was something nefarious going on instead of taking things at face value. I ran to my phone and answered it with a shaky voice.

"Bells, honey what is it?" I sighed and smiled when I heard Jacob's voice on the other end. He reacted immediately to the fearful tenor of my voice.

"Oh God, Jake, it's nothing. I was just freaking out."

"What are you freaking out about?" he asked, not satisfied with my answer. "What's going on?"

"It's stupid, really. Seth left a few minutes ago and he…"

"SETH LEFT!" he bellowed into the phone. I had to pull it away from my ear he was so loud. When I brought the phone back I heard Jacob uttering every expletive under the sun, and all geared towards Seth. "…gonna beat the living shit out of him."

"Jake, you're overreacting. He just went to pick up some dinner for us. He'll be back in a few minutes. I've just been jumpy lately."

But Jacob was stuck on his rant. "I'm going to kill him. No, wait. I'm going to let the Volturi kill him and turn him into a leech. Then, I'm going to kill him. That punk ass, little…"

There was a loud knock at the door. "What was that?" Jacob asked. His tone abruptly changed what with his werewolf hearing tuned into my surroundings.

"It's probably just Seth. He must have forgotten his keys. I'll be right back." I dropped the phone to my side just as Jacob said, "Wait, Bells…"

I turned the knob and slowly started to open the door while looking down thoughtfully at the phone in my hand. Was Jacob trying to warn me about something? And that's when I realized that I knew for a fact that Seth had taken his keys with him. I saw them in his hands when he left.

My blood froze in my veins. Seth and I didn't know anyone in San Diego. There was no reason for anyone to knock on my door. I thought all too late that the Volturi could be standing behind the flimsy piece of wood that served as the only barrier between me and my imminent demise. My life flashed before my eyes and in that endless instant, I decided to fight, even though I knew there was no chance of survival. I slammed the door closed as hard as I could and turned to run towards my room. But the door didn't slam shut like I expected.

My heart skipped a beat and I froze in my tracks when a loud, clear voice called out, "You didn't think you'd get away from me that easily, did you?"

**A/N: Thank you all for sticking with me throughout this journey. Only a handful of chapters left to go! Yes, we're almost at the finish line. Please review and let me know what you think. **

**Of course, I'd love to send a special thank you to Neha. You were such an incredible help with this chapter. I appreciate all the support. You're the best.**


	43. Chapter 43

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do not.**

**A/N: Yes, this took forever. Sorry about that. Thank you all for your continued kind words, love and support. I really appreciate it. I love hearing from you all. I'd especially like to thank those of you who left anonymous reviews: xoxo, megan39, Penny, DeathlyHallows92, Angel, Anony, Chae, Kat, AJK, Elong09, inkblots, t3j, Emily.**

**CHAPTER FORTY-THREE **

_My heart skipped a beat and I froze in my tracks when a loud, clear voice called out, "You didn't think you'd get away from me that easily, did you?" _

I heard the voice that had been haunting my dreams for months. I closed my eyes thinking I was dreaming. But I heard a deep-throated chuckle and knew that I was wide awake.

I turned back towards the door, and saw the last person I expected to see. "After everything we've been through together, there's no way in hell I was going another month, another day; another second without you."

My jaw dropped and my body began to shake. My cell phone clattered to the floor, having fallen from my limp hand. _My Jacob_ was standing at my door. His own cell phone was pressed against his ear and he had an honest to goodness Cheshire cat smile on his face. I covered my mouth with my hands. I was in shock. I couldn't even find my voice.

"Is that any way to treat your boyfriend, Bells?" He pressed end on the call and pocketed his phone. "You don't have anything to say?" he asked.

Words refused to come, but my thoughts were flying furiously. Jacob leaned against the doorframe, staring at me and giving me the opportunity to look him over, to take him all in. He was beautiful. My memories, my pictures, all the things that kept me company all these lonely nights; none of them did justice to the real, flesh and blood man. He was almost too beautiful to be real. He was huge, larger than life. And his hair, oh god, his gorgeous hair had grown out to at least his chin because it was tied up at the back of his head. I wanted to run my hands through it. I wanted to see his dark hair draped over the pillow of my pale breasts. And just like that, I was a live wire and he was the electricity feeding me.

Jacob growled low in his chest, startling me out of my wanton thoughts. He crossed the threshold, threw his bag to the floor and kicked the door closed behind him. He stalked towards me slowly, predatorily, his eyes never once leaving mine. I was mesmerized by him. He moved so fluidly, like an animal, like the wolf. With each step towards me, my neck craned back so that I could look into the dark pools of his eyes.

Jacob wasn't smiling anymore. His gaze was intense, feral. His nostrils flared and I knew he could smell the arousal growing in my core. He was so close that I could feel the heat coming off of his body. He reached for me and pulled me hard against his chest. I whimpered, practically panting for more of his touch, to breathe him in, to get lost in a tangle of limbs.

"You're real?" I asked, still not believing.

"Touch me and find out," he said. His voice was deep and sexy, and it had me wanting to tear off my clothes.

My hand wrapped around one of his arms, my nails digging into his hard, muscled bicep. Electricity shot through me, setting every nerve ending on fire. He closed his eyes at the contact and sighed contentedly. His whole body relaxed, as though he could finally let go of all the tension, all the anxiety that had been building for months. I gasped. This was real. _He_ was real.

My heart raced and my limbs threatened to turn to jelly. My face was flushed and my chest heaved under his intense stare. Just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, that the anticipation would cut off all oxygen to the brain, Jacob crashed his lips down onto mine.

And just like that, we were a mess of fevered limbs and gasping breaths. He pressed his body to mine and kissed me. His kiss was rough, urgent, his tongue probing and teasing. And then I was in his arms, clawing and pulling him closer; always closer. He held me as though I weighed nothing at all. He ran his hands through my hair before moving down my body, cupping my ass in his hands, squeezing and kneading my flesh. I wrapped my legs around his waist, moving up and down in his arms, grinding myself against the zipper of his pants. I drank him in like I was dying of thirst.

Jacob's kisses were like taking a deep breath after being deprived of oxygen. He bit my lower lip, sucking it into his mouth in what seemed like an attempt to devour me whole. I melted into him, giving him everything and anything he needed. I pulled away from his lips to catch my breath and he blazed a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses down my throat. I pulled the band out of his hair and let the silky strands fall down around his face. My fingers got tangled and lost as I pulled his mouth hungrily back to mine.

My mind reeled, even while in his arms. He smelled like…_Jacob_. So warm, so hard and soft at the same time. I was on sensory overload, groping and touching every part of him I could reach. My skin tingled and my very core throbbed and ached for more contact. Our bodies were flush together, yet it wasn't enough. I was a moaning, whimpering mess. I could feel his heart thumping in his chest. I writhed in his arms in an attempt to increase the friction between my legs.

Another growl came, rumbling deep within his throat. He pushed me up against the wall. I grunted at the impact. He moved like a man possessed and I was thrilled and excited by his need for me. He leaned in, pinning me to the wall with his massive body.

He pressed his knee between my legs. My eyes flew open and I moaned as he rotated his hips, blood rushing to my core. I was burning up. I mewled with need. We tore at each other's clothes until we were both naked above the waist. He paused, taking the time to devour me with his eyes. The depth of his desire had me reeling. I couldn't think let alone speak. My hands found their way back into his hair as I pulled him down into a thoroughly passionate kiss.

His hands were everywhere, groping and kneading my breasts and every so often slipping between my legs to stroke my aching core through my pants. I was being driven beyond the point of sanity. Neither of us would be satisfied until we were completely naked; skin on skin.

My hands roamed hungrily over his broad chest and traveled down along the ridges of his abdomen. I bit my lip, thinking of all the things I wanted to do to him; all the things I'd wanted to do to him for months, but couldn't. My thoughts were so scattered I didn't know what to do next.

My hands shot to his belt, fumbling awkwardly in my haste. I growled in frustration and Jacob set me back down on the floor. Before I had a chance to whimper or complain about the loss of heat from his body, I found myself stripped of my pants and underwear. I leaned back against the wall letting the cold surface cool my heated skin. I watched Jacob free himself of his jeans, boxers, shoes and socks. Our clothing lay in haphazard pile on the floor.

We stared at each other, both of us completely naked. My skin was flushed all over. The sound of our panting breath echoed off of the walls. He leaned forward, balancing his weight on his large hands against the wall on either side of my head. He pressed his hard body against mine and my heart wanted to leap from my chest. He created a cocoon around me with his chest, hips and thighs; one that wrapped me in warmth and desire. Liquid desire pooled between my legs, threatening to spill down my thighs. Jacob's nostrils flared and he sprang into action.

In one swift move, he hefted me back up into his arms, pinned me against the wall and thrust himself inside me. I wanted to cry out, but I had no voice. The assault on my senses was fast and all encompassing. I hadn't felt that full, that complete in ages. There was a mixture of pain and unadulterated pleasure. He was not gentle and I couldn't have been happier. I didn't know whether to moan or cry.

He started to thrust frantically. I screamed wildly as his engorged length pushed in and retreated repeatedly. I felt like an animal, clawing and scratching at his shoulders. Every time he withdrew, I pulled him desperately back. I was reduced down to the basest existence. I was ruled solely by my desires. I was set to burst at the friction alone, but he began to rub circles around my swollen nub and I knew I was gone. I exploded into a cataclysmic orgasm that threatened to blind me in its intensity. The moment of pure bliss felt as though it lasted an eternity. Jacob stilled his movements and watched in awe with a self-satisfied, proud smile as I experienced ecstasy at his hands.

I felt as though I would float away. When the blinding white light behind my eyes finally dissipated, I was able to take a few shallow breaths and allow my body to relax and unclench. My core rippled, sending tiny waves of pleasure from my clit and back down to my toes. Just when I thought I was down for the count, Jacob began thrusting again. Only this time there was no rhyme or reason to his movements. And a few seconds later, he had driven me to yet another earth-shattering climax, followed quickly by his own.

We were a sweaty mess of tangled limbs and mingled juices. Jacob got his breathing under control a lot quicker than I did. He gave me a sexy smile and kissed me hungrily and thoroughly.

"Hi," he said. I turned bright red, having realized only at that moment that I hadn't really greeted him properly since he arrived. That is if you don't count hot, sweaty monkey-sex up against the wall as a proper greeting. I was a little embarrassed that I let my body take over all else.

Jacob smirked, as though reading my mind. I felt him harden instantly within me. "God I needed that," he whispered. "How about you?"

I gaped at him, incapable of speech. He laughed and flashed his brilliant white teeth. "Don't worry, Bells. That was nothing. Now I'm _really_ going to show you how much I've missed you."

I whimpered as his lips crashed back down onto mine. He held me in his arms and started walking up the stairs towards my bedroom. I didn't even question how heknew which room was mine. Knowing him, his keen wolf nose led the way. He placed me gently on my bed, careful not to break our intimate connection. His eyes were filled with an overwhelming amount of love and happiness. But, underneath it all was an unabated hunger that was far from being satisfied. I lay back filled with anticipation knowing that I was in very, _very_ capable hands.

I collapsed face first onto my bed hours later. Jacob sprawled next to me face up, his chest heaving from exertion. I felt sated and lethargic; blissfully unaware of anything but the two of us in my bedroom.

I hugged my pillow to my chest and looked over at Jacob. His eyes were closed, but he had a satisfied, content smile on his face. I bit my lip as I took him in, blushing at all the antics we had been up to for the past several hours. I could barely feel my legs. We had attacked and devoured each other countless times. Sex was like a drug for us. And we couldn't seem to get enough.

The room was a mess. The lamps on my nightstands lay broken on their sides. Picture frames lay on the floor where they had fallen from the dresser. Pillows had been tossed haphazardly to the floor. The comforter and sheets were in a tangled mess at the foot of the bed. Normally, I would feel compelled to clean up the mess immediately. But I was lost in a euphoric state and none of that seemed to matter to me. All I cared about was the beautiful man in my bed.

I leaned up on my elbows to get a better look at him. I could feel the heat radiating off of his skin. My body tingled, craving more of his touch. I felt as though I was always sated, but never quite satisfied. I wanted everything from him, and then I wanted more. I was obsessed.

His breathing slowed and I knew he was resting. I almost felt sorry for him. Here he was, my Big, Bad Wolf, and I had nearly milked him of all his energy. Lucky for me he was known for his stamina, because I certainly didn't know where mine came from. Apparently, months of deprivation lends super-human strength. Good to know, I thought.

With that in mind, my eyes wandered over his naked skin unabashedly. His dark hair lay across my pillow. His chest glistened with sweat that was perfumed with his rich, manly musk. My body stirred in response to the visual stimulus in front of me, especially when my eyes paused south of his hips.

I was stunned and secretly thrilled that after everything we'd done, he was still semi-hard. I relished the thought that it wouldn't take much for him to be ready to go again. The only problem was determining whether or not I was ready for it.

"You keep staring at me like that and I'm gonna have to do something about it."

I gasped in surprise. I had been caught red-handed. Or had I? "You're eyes are closed. How do you even know what I'm doing?" I asked.

He chuckled, his voice low and husky. "I can feel your eyes all over me, Bells." And then his eyes opened and met mine. I got lost in their warmth and blurted out, "Why are you here?"

Jacob looked confused and taken aback for a moment before grinning mischievously. He sat up, threw a leg off over the bed and said, "Well, if you want me to leave..."

I realized how my blunt question must have sounded to him and lunged for his arm. "I'm sorry. I mean, _how_ are you here?

He laughed and relaxed back into bed, only this time, he pulled me towards him so that I could rest my head on his chest. He was quiet for a while, content to stroke my hair. After some silent contemplation he sighed deeply and said, "I came here for self-preservation, Bells."

I arched my brow. "What the heck is _that_ supposed to mean?"

He laughed but then his smile faded and his face grew serious. "God it was so hard being without you, honey. I was lucky to get to hear your voice once a week. I didn't get to see your face, feel your skin or even smell your hair. The moment you left I just felt this empty hole in my chest and it wouldn't go away."

I kissed his chest lightly. "Why didn't you tell me any of this?"

"For the same reason you didn't tell me that you were feeling the same way." He had me there and he knew it. I never lied to him. I told him that our separation was hard. But I never went into great detail about it. What was the point? It wouldn't change our circumstances. Besides, I didn't want to worry him when he was helpless to do anything about it. He clearly felt the same way.

"It was hard enough going through every day without you, let alone having to convince a bunch of Alphas to place their faith and trust in me. It was tiring to say the least. But, like I told you, as the months went by, I had those guys eating out of the palm of my hand."

I nodded my head and smiled, snuggling closer. "You do have that effect on people."

"As I got to know the guys better, I started to lower my walls and open up. And then we all figured out that as long as there was one true leader, all the alphas could communicate telepathically, so that all the packs would be united in a fight."

"That's awesome, Jake. It sounds like just the break we need."

"Oh it is. Trust me when I say this, honey. The Volturi are toast when we're done with them." It thrilled me to hear the confidence in his voice. He always told me that we would prevail. But it was more convincing when he didn't just feel it, but knew it with every fiber of his being.

"But," he added with a devilish grin. "There is a downside to this telepathy." I looked at him questioningly and then groaned when I realized what he was talking about.

"Yep," he nodded, affirming my worst fears. "I kept my mind in control most days. But, sometimes I just couldn't help it. When the other Alphas realized that I was separated from my imprint, my mate, they freaked out. They warned me that I should go find you before I went crazy or drove them crazy. I kept telling them how impossible that was, but they wouldn't let it go. They warned me that the pull of the Imprint was too strong to resist, and that if I didn't give into it, it could have some serious repercussions."

I tensed involuntarily. It was just something about that word Imprint that played havoc with my nervous system. "But, you were fine, right?" I asked tentatively. "I mean, it's not like it affected you the way they thought it would." I looked into his eyes, hoping that they wouldn't confirm my fears. Instead, Jacob's eyes looked sad and apologetic.

"I wasn't exactly honest about the Imprint. After that first month, I could feel its pull like never before. It was physical. It was bad enough that your absence was tearing me apart. But, all of a sudden I realized that the wolf within was raging and fighting to get to you. It's like I was split in half. God knows I wanted to give into it. But, it's not just the animal in me that wants you so badly, Bells. You're my best friend. You're in my blood. So, I threw myself full-force into training, school and work; anything I could to keep the wolf and the pull of that stupid imprint at bay. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I didn't think I would survive it."

My stomach turned just thinking about what Jacob had been going through. I reached up to caress his cheek and he covered my hand with his own. "You should've told me, Jake."

He nodded. "Yeah, I know. I just didn't see the point in worrying you more than you already were. I'm so connected to you, Bells. I knew that if I just opened myself up to you, I would be able to find you, wherever you were. That connection scared the shit out of me. I threw up every wall I could to keep it at bay, because I knew that if I let myself find you, nothing would keep me away. And it was too soon, too dangerous to give in. I had my pack and the packs of 5 other Alphas to worry about. I couldn't show them any weakness."

I felt terrible for him. I had spent nearly eight months wallowing in my own misery, thinking we were sharing equal loads. But, at the end of the day, I only had to stay hidden. The hardest part was missing Jacob and missing home. I was on the run. I didn't have any responsibilities to uphold. If I wanted to stay in bed all day and just feel miserable, I could. But, Jacob didn't even have that luxury. Life had been so much harder for him. Although he downplayed it, the Imprint wreaked havoc on his mind and body, and yet he still had to show up, every day to school, work and training. There was no respite for him. No wonder he kept the truth from me. I would've felt horrible and argued that I was coming home.

He flipped me quickly onto my back and leaned over me. His eyes flashed with eight month's worth of need and desire. It was as though a flip had switched. He was all soft words one moment and hot, passionate fire the next. "I _needed_ you, Bells," he said breathlessly. "I couldn't stand another day without seeing you and having you in my arms. I tried to be good. I tried to stay away like I was supposed to. But I just couldn't." He kissed me with all the fire and passion he possessed. "I love you," he whispered. "I'm not the same without you."

I melted into his embrace. I had felt exactly the same without him. But I still had questions that needed answers. "So wait," I said, confused. "So, you just allowed your wolf to find me?"

He laughed, but I wasn't sure if it was because of the question or because of the inopportune moment I used to ask it. "No, it wasn't like that," he answered patiently. But, I could see in his eyes that talking was the last thing he wanted to do at the moment. "I told you I would've been able to find you anywhere. But, that would've taken me too long. I could've been wandering around for weeks before narrowing your location down. And, I can't be away from the Pack that long. So, I did it the old fashioned way. I called Seth and threatened to beat the shit out of him if he didn't tell me where you were."

I frowned. "You're so mean to him. You probably scared the hell out of him."

"I hope so," he replied evenly.

"Okay," I continued, "I'm beyond elated that you're here. But, I still don't understand. Why now? I know you missed me and that the added burden of the Imprint didn't help. But, what about the Volturi? Why is it all of a sudden safe for you to visit me? I mean, have I been hiding all this time for nothing?"

He looked me in the eye and said, "Things have changed these past few weeks, honey. We have a new plan, one that we're going to put into motion soon. And that makes all the difference in the world."

"Tell me, Jake." After so many months of waiting in the dark, worrying and wondering, it was so refreshing to know that Jake had a new plan.

But instead of answering, Jacob leaned in and kissed me. His hand moved down between my legs and all coherent thought left my brain. I moaned and arched up into his touch. "Later," he mumbled against my lips. "Right now, I don't want to think about anything but this." His fingers circled and tugged at my already sensitive nub. He trailed hungry kisses down my neck, demanding my submission. I surrendered willingly; happily.

He eased his body over mine, pressing me down into the soft mattress. I welcomed the familiar weight on top of me. His lips found mine and we kissed until we were breathless. His arms wrapped around me, his large hands finding my back and my bottom, pulling me closer, always closer to him. And then my stomach rumbled loudly.

Jacob broke the kiss, his eyes shining, filled with laughter. "Well, I guess _that_ will have to wait. The lady is hungry."

I bit back a laugh even though my cheeks had turned bright red. He got up out of bed, naked as the day he was born and not shy in the least, and said, "I'll make you something."

"You don't have to," I replied. I made to get up when my stomach rumbled even louder. Jacob stood at my bedroom door and laughed. "Damn, Bells. You sound like you're starving. When was the last time you ate?"

"Well, Seth went out to get a pizza and then…" I sat bolt upright in the bed, terror washing over me. Seth. How could I have forgotten him? He had acted so strangely after he got that phone call. And, he should've been home hours ago. I started to hyperventilate. "Seth," I screamed, only this time out loud.

"Okay, I'm standing here in all my naked glory and you're calling out Seth's name? I think we may have a problem here, honey."

I got up, and frantically looked around for clothes. "Seth is missing! He said he was going to get a pizza, only we have a freezer full of pizza and tons of food." I was babbling. "And then he was acting so weird. Oh my god, Jake. It's the Volturi! They have him. And I forgot all about him." I got down on my hands and knees, crawling on the floor looking for something to wear. I shifted the debris of broken lamps and tangled sheets and blankets. "Why can't I find my underwear?" I growled in frustration.

Jacob knelt in front of me, clutching my shoulders in his massive hands and gently shook me. I looked into his eyes and was shocked to find him smiling my favorite smile as if I had just done the funniest thing he'd ever seen.

"Why are you smiling? Your brother is out there…" He cut me off with a kiss, but I was so confused and angry that I pushed him away. "Are you crazy?" I shouted. "This is not the time."

"Bells, I called Seth."

"When could you have possibly called him? We've been…_busy_ this whole time."

He shook his head and laughed. "No, I called him before."

"Huh?" I was more confused than ever. Jacob pulled me up off of the ground and sat me down on the bed.

"Honey, Seth is the one who told me where you were. He knew when I was coming. We agreed that as soon as I got here, I'd call him and he'd make up some excuse to leave so that we could be alone. But, I promise you that you were never alone. I was waiting for him right outside. We talked for a few minutes, catching up, and then he went on his way."

My mind was still trying to process everything. I was relieved that Seth wasn't in any imminent danger, but I was still confused. "So, you kicked him out of his home?" I asked incredulously.

"Bells, I didn't kick him out of anywhere. Do you really think he wants to hang out around here and listen to what we've been up to? He's going to be living it up at a five star hotel in the marina for the next week."

"He is?" I asked, still not convinced.

"He is. Now, get back in bed. I'm going to make us dinner and then we're going to finish what we started."

My ears perked up. "Wait, you're staying for a week?" I asked hopefully.

He laughed heartily. "Yeah, a whole week. I told you I wanted you naked in bed for week straight, didn't I?"

Jacob walked out of the room without a backward glance. I couldn't help but laugh. I hadn't laughed much in months. Already I felt lighter; happier. I sighed and lay back against my pillow. I knew Jake was right, that Seth was perfectly fine. But, I had been so used to seeing Seth every day that I just wouldn't be able to relax until I had spoken to him myself. Just as I was about to get up to look for my phone, Jacob appeared at the door with my cell phone in his hand. He tossed it to the bed and said, "See for yourself, honey." I smiled content with the knowledge that Jacob could read me as easily as he always had.

I dialed Seth immediately. Even though he was here to keep me safe, I felt like the protective older sister. I liked taking care of him. Being a caregiver was the best gift I could offer him. Hell, I'd promised Leah that I would keep him safe. He served as my emotional support, but I served as his symbol of normalcy. He was still a young kid. He was used to having a mother and sister watch after him, even if he found it smothering and annoying.

Seth answered after a few rings. "Hello?"

There was loud music in the background. "Seth? It's Bella. Are you all right?"

"Oh hey, Bella!" He turned down the loud music. "So, did you like your surprise?"

A blushed stained my cheeks and I was glad that he couldn't see it. Seth had basically jumped ship so that Jacob and I could non-stop, no holds barred sex for a week. I was a little uncomfortable to say the least.

"Like would be an understatement," I said. "I was just checking in on you. I wanted to make sure you were okay with staying at a hotel. You know I don't want you to feel like I'm kicking you out of your home. You're welcome to come back."

"Come back?" He asked incredulously. "No offense, Bella, but I'm having a great time. I've got my music blaring, I'm walking around in my underwear, and I'm polishing off a five course meal from room service. Hell, I'm even having a masseuse come up later today."

"Oh." I didn't really know how to respond to that. He didn't mean it that way, but I couldn't help but feel a little rejected. I sighed thinking it was just par for the course. He'd been guarding me non-stop for months. Lord knows he could use the break. He deserved a little rest and relaxation. Now that I knew he was okay, I felt free to thoroughly enjoy my time with Jacob.

I heard a doorbell through the phone line and realized that Seth was probably staying in the nicest hotel in the city. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a personal butler. I couldn't blame him for living it up in the lap of luxury for a week. I made us practically live like paupers so as not to draw attention to a lavish lifestyle. But without me, Seth didn't have anything to worry about. He wasn't a hunted man.

"Oh, Bella, I have to go. The masseuse is here."

He sounded entirely too excited about that. I grinned. "Okay, Seth, enjoy. But, please call me if you get bored or if you want to come…"

The line went dead and I realized that he had hung up on me. I shook my head and looked down at the phone.

Jacob stood in the doorway, his arms filled with a wide assortment of food. He brought everything from chips and dip to cookies and sandwiches. And on top of all that, I could smell pizza baking off in the oven.

"I guess _widdle_ baby Seth is doing just fine without you, huh?" He said in a mocking, baby voice.

"Oh…shut up," I growled. He joined me on the bed and set the food down around us. He laughed when I continued to pout. He leaned in and kissed me. He kissed me so thoroughly that he re-awakened my passion. When he broke the kiss, I was hot and eager for more. Jacob smiled. "Not yet. We need to eat first. I may be awesome, but even I need to eat to keep my stamina going."

_The next morning…_

A familiar sound penetrated the haze around me. It was the sound of birds crying and thunder rumbling. I stirred and the sounds became louder, clearer. The crisp salt air penetrated my lungs. No, it wasn't thunder. It was the sound of waves crashing repeatedly along the shore. And the birds were seagulls crying, welcoming the rising sun. In fact, I could feel the sun's warming rays blanketing my naked skin. I sighed contentedly, basking in the comfort.

I slowly opened my eyes and saw that the heat blanketing me was not from the sun's rays, but from the warmth of Jacob's skin. I was draped, naked across my huge, werewolf boyfriend. I raised my head from the pillow that was his chest and saw that he was looking down at me with warm eyes and a brilliant smile. I couldn't help but smile back in return.

We had spent hours and hours getting reacquainted with each other. And yet, I couldn't remember ending up on the lounge chair on my balcony.

My voice was rough and hoarse with sleep when I said, "I'm outside." It was an acknowledgement, not a question.

Jacob chuckled, holding me closer to him and nuzzled my neck. "Yep," he answered.

I snuggled into his embrace and felt the soft silk of his skin brushing against my own. "I'm naked," I added playfully.

His finger trailed down my shoulder, inwards down the side of my breast. My skin erupted into goose bumps in his wake. "Well, you are covered in a blanket, _sadly_."

I smiled and kissed his chest. "Jake?"

"Hmm?"

"Why am I naked outside?"

Jacob just licked his lips and grinned. He rolled us over so that I was on my back while he settled his bulk between my spread thighs. He pulled the blanket down to my stomach and began blazing a trail of kisses back up towards my breasts. I shivered and bit my lower lip, luxuriating in his attentions.

He must have mistaken my shiver for being cold because the next thing I knew, he covered me with the blanket and with the heat of his own body. "I'm sorry," he said. "I knew you'd be cold. I just couldn't sleep. I wanted to get some fresh air, but I didn't want to be without you." He began to scoop me up in his arms. I batted his hands and he looked at me in surprise.

"I didn't say I wanted to leave, did I?"

"Oh," he said, smiling wide. "Then, do you want to stay out here for a while?"

"Yes," I snuggled back into his embrace, "I'm quite comfortable here." I wrapped my arms around his waist as he rolled us back so that we were both resting on our sides. We were pressed together, chest to chest. I smiled at him, loving how my body siphoned off his heat to warm me. And then we turned our attention onto the deserted beach in front of us.

We stayed like that for a while, just relishing the closeness we felt and the beautiful scenery in which we found ourselves. I looked back at Jacob and saw that he watched me through heavy-lidded eyes. He was not quick to forget how intense our kisses had been just moments ago. You'd think after the hours in bed we had spent together that we would have both had our fill. But that was not the case. Being with him was like a drug. The more I had, the more I wanted. And I could see in his eyes that he regarded me the same. I stretched languidly like a cat, arching my body, testing my aching muscles. I was sore, but it was a welcome soreness. I couldn't keep the mile wide smile off of my face.

"Is this real?" I asked, still amazed at how lucky I was to have him in my arms. My voice was rougher than I expected. Then again, with all the moaning and screaming I had done all night, it shouldn't have surprised me in the least.

Jacob chuckled and said, "Well, if it's not, you have a vivid imagination." Then he frowned. "Wait, are you saying you don't remember last night? I think my feelings should be hurt."

I smacked his chest playfully. "Don't be silly. I remember every moment about last night. I just can't believe you're really here. This all feels like a dream. I thought for sure that when I woke up reality was going to sink in and I was going to be alone, _again_." He rubbed my back soothingly. "But, you're really here," I added. "I don't understand it, but I can't believe how lucky I am."

We were quiet for a few minutes and I could feel Jacob's body tense against me. "What is it?" I asked.

"We need to talk about our plans for the Volturi."

My body stiffened and my heart raced involuntarily. The Volturi had plagued my every step for the past two years. I didn't want to talk about them; here where I was so happy and content. I didn't want the mere mention of them to ruin the bit of paradise we'd sliced out for ourselves. But I knew I couldn't hide from them forever.

I looked into Jacob's eyes and he squeezed me gently in reassurance. "Alright, what's the plan, Jake?"

He didn't pull any punches or try to beat around the bush. "We're going to Volterra next month and we're going to kill every last one of them."

I sat up with a start, not caring that the blanket had fallen, exposing my nudity to anyone who happened to be walking on the beach that early in the morning. Jacob brought the blanket back over my shoulders and held the ends in his hands, kissing me on the tip of my nose.

"Relax," he said. Relax!

He just told me that he's going to Italy to take on the Volturi and he wants me to relax?

"What about the original plan? I thought you were going to wait for the Volturi to come to Forks, for them to divide their strength. You remember, divide and conquer!" I was getting hysterical with worry. The plan he mentioned didn't seem good enough eight months ago. Why was it good enough now?

"We're tired of waiting. The Volturi have been playing us from the start. We thought that by sending you away, we'd finally get the upper hand with them, that they'd attack us while you were far away and safe. But they haven't made a fucking move! I can't do this anymore!"

Jacob's temper flared. He ground his teeth and there was fire in his eyes. He looked away, not wanting to meet my eyes. I reached up and caressed his cheek. "I know how you're feeling, Jake. I really do. I don't want to do this anymore either. But, are you sure you're not just reacting as opposed to…acting."

His hand covered mine and he reached around me with one arm, pulling me up onto his lap. "I promise I'm not just 'reacting.' Carlisle and I have been over this so many times. I know the pros and cons like the back of my hand. But he agrees that it's time. Obviously Aro has his own hidden agenda. Sending you away hasn't provoked him. What are we supposed to do? Wait forever?"

I wrapped my arms around his waist while he pulled me closer. I nestled my head against his shoulder. His voice was softer when he spoke again. "We can't wait any longer, Bells. Life is too short as it is. We can't spend our lives waiting. We've given too much power to the Volturi and that has to stop, _now_. We're ready for this."

"How?" Tears threatened to spill down my face. It all seemed too good to be true. An end to my exile and an end to the Volturi threat were within sight. But, I was too scared to believe it. "What makes you ready?"

Jacob knew that I wasn't trying to call into question his judgment. I was just trying to understand. And more importantly, I was terrified of the consequences of making such a rash decision. Jacob must have seen that in my eyes, because he addressed my fears immediately.

"We're not being rash. We've waited eight months for them to strike. But we haven't been idle while we've waited. We've been training nearly day and night with almost fifty other wolves. The Alphas are able to communicate with each other telepathically, which means all of us are networked together. We move, they move. We're like a well oiled machine with only one purpose, to kill vampires."

My eyes widened, but I kept my head down, not wanting to give myself away. Jacob's voice was filled with such conviction, such raw power. It thrilled and frightened me at the same time. If Jacob noticed, he didn't comment.

"We have enough people to man and guard Forks and La Push, while we send the bulk of our force to Volterra. One of Carlisle's allies is this vampire chick who can make people see things that aren't really there. She's on her way to Forks now to show us what she can do so that we can utilize her in our attack."

That piqued my interest. "Okay, it sounds like she's got a pretty amazing talent. But, how is that going to help you actually fight?"

"We don't need her to fight. She'll be there using her power to isolate and confuse the vampires guarding the place, while we move in full force to take out Aro and his butt buddies. Carlisle said she can also project a convincing enough illusion to conceal the battle from the public or any innocent bystanders who might be nearby when the shit goes down."

"I don't know…"

Jacob was having none of it. In the blink of an eye he had me on my back, my blanket forgotten on the patio floor. His eyes were fevered, full of anticipation. He leaned over me, his breath fanning against my face. He lowered himself, pressing his body flush with mine. All doubts and fears flew out the window as I sank into the depths of his dark eyes. He kissed me, sucking my lower lip into his mouth and I nearly came undone. He trailed kisses down my throat, pausing at my breasts.

"No more talking," he whispered hoarsely. "In a month's time, the Volturi are going to be dead and you're going to be home where you belong. Let's not talk about this anymore. I have eight months to make up for. I don't want to waste a minute."

His words made me melt and I arched up into his body, trying to press as much of myself against him as possible, relishing the fact that there were no barriers between us. We were skin on skin, the way we were meant to be. I had my fears and concerns about Jacob's plan. But he was right. None of that mattered when we were together like this.

I had one week with him and I was going to take advantage of every moment of it. I would forget the fear for a little while. He ground against me and I knew we were on the same page. I was sore and swollen, but my body ached for more.

It was hours before we left the balcony. And when we did, we left behind all the fear and doubt of an uncertain future. We had each other and we were determined to live each moment of our short parole to the fullest.

It was a wonderful week. We spent most of it naked, locked in the bedroom without a care in the world. I hadn't slept so well in ages. I had spent months finding it difficult to even fall asleep. And when I would fall asleep, I spent each night waking up multiple times. I had been restless and worn down. But in just a few days with Jacob, I felt completely rejuvenated and full of life.

It was reminiscent of our time together driving home from Jacksonville, where we were learning each other not as friends, but as lovers. When we weren't having sex on every usable surface in the house, we were talking, playing video games together, eating and enjoying the beach. He had me laughing until I cried. I hadn't smiled so much in months. The sound of Jacob's uninhibited laughter was like a balm to my wounded soul. I lay in his arms every night feeling fearless and hopeful. No evil touched me when I was with him. I was with my best friend and all was right with the world.

I talked to Seth for a few minutes every day. Despite my promise to keep thoughts of the Volturi under wraps, I couldn't do that when it came to Seth. He was on his own and vulnerable, as far as I was concerned. I knew he could handle himself, but that fact didn't take away the worry. Besides, it was just too strange not to talk to him when he had been my only companion for so long. Jacob would smile and shake his head, thinking I was trying to mother the kid too much. But, I couldn't help myself. I just had a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that Seth was in danger when he was separated from us. I knew it was unfounded, but even Jacob's reassuring presence couldn't shake me of my fears. So, although he thought I was overreacting, he never said anything and let me be. Of course, he didn't have much to complain about considering apart from five minutes a day, I was all his.

Seth indulged me to an extent. But, he was clearly having a wonderful time with no responsibilities. He was living it up in San Diego. He went surfing, hit up the nightclubs. You name it, he did it. I invited him to have lunch with us a few times, but he kept himself scarce. He said he wanted live up his bachelor life before he had to give it up again. Though, he probably avoided me like the plague because of Jacob's growling in the background whenever I suggested we meet up. Jacob was a wonderful guy. But he was also very jealous of his time with me. And after giving up so much, I couldn't exactly begrudge him the fact that he wanted to spend the week solely with me.

But I knew that all good things must come to an end. Jacob was scheduled to leave first thing on Sunday morning. And by Saturday a storm had moved in to dampen the city and our spirits. Try as I might, I couldn't take the joy I needed from him. He wanted me to forget about the danger, to live in a cocoon. And I did. But, Jacob was leaving me the next day, and I couldn't help but acknowledge the possibility that it could be the last time I ever saw him.

In a month's time, Jacob and the Pack, my friends and family would be in Volterra, fighting head to head with the Volturi. I would be naïve if I assumed that everyone I loved would make it out alive or whole. War, battle and death, it changes you. Would any of us be the same again?

We didn't do much that last day. We lay in bed together without much to say. I clung to him and he reassured me that all would be set to rights in a matter of a few short weeks. But all I cared about was the fact that he had made me so happy and now he was leaving. It was like his visit was a cruel joke, reminding me of what I couldn't have.

By the time the sun went down, the storm was raging. Lightning lit up the sky and thunder rumbled, shaking the beach house nearly to its foundations. I kept the thought to myself, but I couldn't help but consider the violence of the storm to be a bad omen.

Somehow I managed to fall asleep shortly after dinner. I didn't want to. In fact, I had planned to stay up all night long to milk every second of Jacob's remaining time with me. When I woke up alone, I almost cried, hating myself for wasting so much precious time. And then I began to panic. Where was Jacob? The storm was in full swing so I knew I hadn't been asleep long. I checked the clock on the nightstand. I had only been out for about an hour. I took a few calming breaths in an attempt to quell my old insecurities. Jacob wouldn't leave me without a word. His flight was tomorrow. We still had time together.

And that's when I noticed a warm, flickering light emanating from under the closed bathroom door. I threw the covers off, and padded across the room towards the source. I opened the bathroom door and what I saw took my breath away.

One of the things Seth and I loved about this beach house was the bathrooms. We each had incredible master baths. The rooms were massive, larger than my entire dorm room back in Port Angeles. The floors and walls were covered with cream colored Italian marble. And it had one wall made up entirely of tinted glass, giving an unobstructed view of the ocean. The focal point of the bathroom was a massive infinity tub, set dead center in front of the window. I could lounge in the tub while watching waves crash without fear of exposing myself to voyeurs.

When I walked into the bathroom that night, it had been transformed. White candles of varying sizes were staggered along every surface creating a soft, ethereal glow. The scent of Lavender wafted up from the full, steaming tub. Bubbles and rose petals floated on the water. The storm raged outside, but in here was an oasis. Now all I needed was Jacob.

As if in answer to my unspoken desire, Jacob sidled up from behind, wrapping his arms around me, bending down to kiss my naked shoulder. I started at first, not having heard his approach. But knowing him, he sensed when I woke up and had waited behind the door for me to enter.

I turned in his arms, wanting to see his face. His eyes were intent. Lust and love colored every facet of his face. I reached for his shoulders, pulling myself up so that I could kiss him. I stretched while he crouched and our lips met in the middle in a sizzling, sensual, passionate kiss that left me weak in the knees. Without a word, Jacob lifted me into the cradle of his arms and carried me to the tub. I sank into the hot water, my back resting against Jacob's chest, and I let everything that wasn't _us_ melt away.

The tub was more than comfortable for the two of us. We took turns washing each other, our hands caressing every inch of skin. Our touches were more sensual than sexual; more comforting than needy. If we could have gotten under each other's skin we wouldn't have been closer.

I don't know how long we stayed there. Time held no meaning for me. We didn't even speak. We communicated with our eyes, with our touch, with our hearts. When the water grew tepid, Jacob helped me out of the tub. We dried each other off and then lathered lotion into each other's skin. When that was done, Jacob gave me a look filled with such fire and heat that desire immediately pooled between my legs. He bent down, his hands going to the backs of my thighs and lifted me back up into his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my hands around his neck while he cradled my butt in his hands.

He took me to bed, laying me down while hovering over me, grinding his hips exactly where I needed him most. Passion ignited every cell of my being. We kissed hungrily, greedy to devour each other whole. His tongue was hot and wet, his arousal hard like steel. I wanted him so badly, needed him so badly I feared I would crawl out of my own skin to get closer.

He rubbed his member against my swollen nub. My nerves lit up, mirroring the lightning outside. I was electric; on fire for him. He moved his hips teasingly, stroking me with every rotation. My nails dug into his shoulders, running down his back. I clawed him in an attempt to draw him into me. I mewled, I begged, I screamed. My wildness didn't deter him. He didn't even feel the scratches on his back and if anything, my reaction simply urged him on.

Just when I thought my mind would break from the fulfillment he was denying me, his steel shaft pushed into my core, slowly and tentatively. Our eyes locked. He pulled out just as slowly as he had pushed in, never once sliding all the way home. The friction made my nerve endings sizzle. But it wasn't enough. It was never enough. And in answer to my prayer he drove himself into me, to the hilt. We froze for a moment, content to capture and hold the feeling of being whole as long as we could. And when the pressure built and I couldn't take anymore, Jacob began to move and thrust within me, bringing us both to new heights. We made love all night long with the sound of thunder and lightning accompanying our cries of pleasure and joy.

The next morning came all too soon for my liking. When our fatigue outweighed our passion, it was already early morning. We fell asleep around dawn. But, try as I might, I couldn't get any rest. I tossed and turned, anxiously waking up and checking to make sure Jacob was still there. I didn't want to see him go. I didn't want him to leave without me. But I knew it was necessary. That didn't make it any easier to see him go.

We were both quiet that morning, having said everything we needed to say to each other the night before in the throes of passion. We lazed in bed, holding onto each other, but not saying a word. It was a mark of how upset he was that Jacob never once brought up the suggestion of having food.

By nine, I thought Jacob was going to say something. Instead, he pressed me back into the mattress and made desperate, passionate love to me. He was saying good-bye and I wept with emotion when we were done.

"Don't go," I cried. I hated myself for being so weak. His hair hung over his face as he leaned over me, resting his weight on his arms at either side of my body. Sweat dampened his forehead and he was still out of breath.

He took my face in his hands. "Bells, please don't cry." He kissed me gently. His brows furrowed thoughtfully.

I shook my head and wiped the tears from my eyes, hating myself for being so weak and worrying him. "Okay, you can't stay. But, take me with you. There's no point in me staying here now that you're going to bring the fight to Italy. Let me go home with you."

He frowned. "Bells, we've been over this a hundred times…" And we had. I plead with him all night asking him to take me with him when he left. I was terrified of what was to come and I wanted to face it by his side. I argued that Seth could pack up our stuff and drive home at his own pace. But, Jacob would not be swayed. Although they had a solid plan, there were too many unknowns, too many variables that he had no control over. The Volturi still didn't know where I was. Jacob and Carlisle both thought it would be safer for me to stay where I was until the Volturi were taken care of once and for all.

He had been worried that I would take it wrong way and feel rejected. I'd be lying to myself if I said it hadn't hurt. Because it did. But, I understood. Jacob was going into a life and death situation. He needed to stay focused on the task at hand, getting the troops ready for battle. I wasn't happy about our continued separation. But, I knew it was a necessary sacrifice. I put on a brave face. There was no reason to have him leave worrying about whether or not I was going to fall apart. So, I smiled and kissed him, letting him know that I understood and that the matter was dropped.

We finally got out of bed so that I could make us something to eat. We ate in relative silence. We just tried to enjoy our last moments together. He packed his things in a hurry. We had dilly-dallied so long that if he didn't leave now he'd be late for his flight. He didn't even have time to take a shower. I dressed in his white, button-down shirt. I wanted to keep something of his, something drowning in his scent so that I could pretend he was close.

When he was done packing he looked at me and arched his brow at my clothing, or lack thereof and grinned appreciatively. He reached for me, pulled me close and buried his nose where my neck and shoulder met. He inhaled deeply, as though he could breathe me in.

"Let me take you to the airport," I begged for the umpteenth time. We had discussed this very issue repeatedly over the last few days. It was normal to want to take a loved one to the airport, to see them off safely. But, Jacob was having none of it. He worried that taking me to such a public place would leave me too exposed. He also argued that it would be too hard for him to leave if I came. Better to rip off the band-aid now rather than drag it out longer than necessary. I knew he was right, but it didn't change the fact that I wanted to be with him for as long as possible, even if it would only hurt me more in the long run.

"Come on, Jake. Just give me a minute to get dressed and we can go."

He sighed and nuzzled my neck. "I can't, Bells." He shook his head. His eyes were filled with sadness and disappointment. "I just can't," he repeated quietly.

We walked downstairs, hand in hand. He had his duffle bag draped over one shoulder. This was it. He was really leaving. And soon he would be fighting for his life. No, I wouldn't think that. If I lose hope, it's over. He will defeat the Volturi and we will be together again. That was the only option for us.

We kissed by the front door. Jacob dropped his bag to the floor so that his hands were free to grope me at his leisure. It thrilled me to the core. I kissed him and had to tell myself repeatedly that we would be doing this again in just a few short weeks. My hands ran through his hair, pulling strands out of the tie holding it back. A knock on the door startled us for a moment and we broke apart, lips wet and cheeks flushed.

But it was only Seth coming back. Jacob opened the door and let him in. They talked a bit. Seth wanted a final briefing of the Pack's plans for Italy. He argued once again that he should be going with them, but when Jacob sternly reminded him that his job protecting me was far more important, Seth relented. Jacob told him that he needed to hold the fort for just a while longer and then they "man-hugged" before Seth scampered out of the room like his pants were on fire. He yelled, "I'm not even here," and ran upstairs to his room.

I was pissed. Throughout their whole exchange, Seth never once said hello, or "Hey, sis, I missed you." He didn't even look at me. I was confused and feeling a bit hurt if I thought more about it. "What the hell was that about?" I asked.

Jacob had a knowing smirk on his face. "Have you looked at yourself?" He asked.

I stared down and realized that Jacob's shirt, which I had hastily thrown on, was opened nearly down to my belly button. One turn or quick movement and my breasts would have been exposed. Not to mention the fact that the shirt also exposed an indecent amount of upper thigh. I grabbed the lapels of the shirt and pulled them together. Heat spread across my face. Once again, I had subjected that poor boy to another Bella show. And then I thought about it some more. My hair was all sorts of sex hair and Seth could definitely smell sex in the air. Hell, _I_ could. I buried my face in my hands, mortified as usual. Jacob laughed and tugged my hands away, pulling me towards his chest. He kissed me thoroughly, leaving me breathless when he pulled away.

He rested his forehead against mine and said, "Have I told you how smoking hot you look in my shirt?"

And just like that, all my embarrassment flew out the window. I whimpered at the heat in his voice and simply held him close. "I've got to…," he began sadly.

"I know," I nodded. We kissed and this time it was slow and passionate, filled with love and promise.

"I love you," we both whispered at the same time. He squeezed my hands and then slowly let go to retrieve his duffel bag. He reached for the door and said, "Come back home to me, Bells."

"Always," I smiled warmly. And then I watched him walk away. I closed the door behind him. My forehead fell against the wood. Tears began to fall from my eyes. I pressed my hands up against the door, almost as though I could feel his heat through the wood; like he was waiting for me on the other side. But that was just wishful thinking on my part. I knew Jacob was already gone. I felt an overwhelming loss all over again at being separated from him. My loneliness felt all the more profound in comparison to the joy and elation I had felt all week.

Jacob was going to war. I had all the faith in the world that he would triumph, and yet I couldn't silence that nagging fear that told me this could be the last time I ever saw Jacob again. We had been apart for almost eight months, and yet these next thirty days would be the most unbearable. What if something went wrong? What if it took them longer than they anticipated to defeat Aro? Who would be left to tell me?

I wiped the tears from my eyes and took a few deep, cleansing breaths. It was time to bottle up all that emotion again because it wouldn't do me any good. Seth and I would face this together. He had just as much at stake here as I did. His brothers and sister were going to be risking their lives for us, while he remained behind. He took things in stride, but I knew that it was killing him not to be able to fight the Volturi.

I wanted to talk to Seth, get all of our thoughts and fears out in the open. Plus, I needed a friendly shoulder to cry on now that Jacob was gone. Then I looked down at my rumpled appearance.

My hair was a tangled mess and I reeked of sex and sweat. The woman in me was thrilled. I looked like a woman should look when she's been properly loved within an inch of her life. But, Seth didn't need to see that side of me. That was reserved for Jacob alone. I figured a shower was in order first, before I embarrassed us both yet again.

I made my way towards the stairs when I heard a soft knock at the door. My heart jumped into my throat. "Jacob," I whispered. He couldn't stay away after all. I ran back towards the door, filled with eager excitement. I threw the door open with a huge smile on my face. "Did you forget some…," I choked on the words.

Crippling fear spread throughout my veins. Jacob wasn't there. It was my nightmare come to life. Jane and Felix stood out on my front porch with smug smiles on their faces. Shock had rendered me lifeless; immobile. There was nothing I could do. The flimsy wooden door wouldn't keep them out and I couldn't outrun them. They had found me. It was over. I closed my eyes, resigned to my fate.

Jane's saccharine sweet voice grated in my ears. "Oh Bella, you didn't really think that we wouldn't be able to find you, did you?"

Seth tumbled down the stairs, clothes flying off as he ran to face the vampire threat. "Bella, RUN!"

But I couldn't move. My eyes were locked on Felix, towering over me with a look of sheer and utter triumph on his face. Jane sidestepped me as though I wasn't worth her time and focused on the now snarling wolf at my back. Seth was the only threat here. I was completely helpless.

Felix laughed and stepped through the door after her. He moved so fast that my brain couldn't process what my eyes saw. One second he was outside. The next instant he towered behind me, wrapping me in the steel vise of his arm while he pressed a foul smelling cloth over my nose and mouth. I didn't even struggle. I knew it was futile. A single tear fell down my cheek. "Jake," I whispered, knowing he was too far gone to hear me. I was answered by a quick-growing darkness and the sound of a lone wolf, howling in pain.

**A/N: So, there it is. I hope you all enjoyed it. As you can see, we're finally getting to the heart of the drama. Stick with me. I have some interesting things planned. I love reading your reviews, and considering this story is winding down, I'd love to hear what you think of it.**

**I'd also like to say a special thank you to my friend Neha, who's the best beta out there. I would not have been able to write and/or finish this freaking chapter without her. So, thanks!**


	44. Chapter 44

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do not.**

**A/N: Yep, you're looking at another update. No, I haven't forgotten about this story. It just takes a lot to write the chapters. But, this is a long one, so hopefully that'll make up for the delay. I received tons of wonderful reviews and I really appreciate them. I'd also like to thank the following anonymous reviewers, or reviewers who don't have their Private Messaging activated, (I can't send you guys a reply otherwise). Anyway, special thanks to: leelee, ekw425, megan39, Lexi, Sunshine, I-imprinted-on-a-wolf, Anony, KikiV, Grace-Silver-Tear-Luvs-Jasper, sweetcece15, andrea, Angel, EmilyJane, blinj0, Babygirl17171717 and dwparsnip.**

**CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR **

**JPOV:**

"_The Captain has turned off the 'Fasten Seatbelt' signs. You're free to move about the cabin. Flight attendants will be by momentarily with refreshments."_

I shook my head, coming out of a daze. What the fuck? My head twisted left and right, frantically taking in my surroundings. I was strapped in my seat, in a freaking airplane. And, I had no idea how I had gotten here. The last concrete memory I had was of saying good-bye to Bella. I had stood right outside her door, fighting the impulse to go back inside, pull her into my arms, and never let go. In fact, I was about to give in to that impulse when everything started to get fuzzy.

And my head was _still_ lost in the clouds. It was like waking up with a hangover. What the hell was wrong with me? I growled in frustration. Several passengers stared at me nervously. Okay, not a good move on my part. Airlines didn't take too kindly to nervous, twitchy passengers. I wanted to punch something and that combined with the growling wouldn't exactly win me any fans on this flight.

"Bad hangover," I said to those still watching me nervously. That seemed to appease them a bit. They went back to their Ipods and books and left me alone.

As I sat in the smallest seat known to man, my head slowly began to clear. I thought back to that moment outside Bella's door. I remembered thinking, fuck it. Another week away from the pack wouldn't hurt anybody. I already missed her, and I had been standing right outside her door. How would I feel when I came home without her? I had reached for the doorknob, when all of a sudden, I did an about face. It was like I was watching myself from above. My movements were stiff and halting; like I was compelled by some unseen force to walk away.

I had gotten into my rental car and then peeled out onto the street, without even a look back. I walked through the airport and passed through security like a zombie. And when it was time to board, I took my seat and buckled myself in; all as though I was on auto-pilot. It was like I was a puppet, and some outside force was the puppet master.

I tried my best to stifle a growl. I clenched my teeth and gripped the arm rests, nearly crushing them in my frustration. Something was not right. But, as soon as that thought occurred to me, I felt an overwhelming sense of calm wash over me; like everything was perfectly fine.

I rubbed my face. Clearly, I was still out of it. I wasn't in complete control and I hated that feeling. I was an alpha wolf. I was _always_ in control. The only person who ever challenged that was Bella. Okay, maybe Paul too. But that guy would try Mother Theresa's patience. I broke out into a sweat and my body began to tingle in the familiar way that signaled my wolf was trying to claw its way out. My instincts told me that something was wrong with this situation. But it was like common sense was telling me that everything was perfectly normal.

I was at war with myself, which was so unlike me. I was usually pretty decisive and determined once I made a decision. Hell, Bella could vouch for that. I was never filled with this much self-doubt and it was unnerving. I closed my eyes, breathing deeply, trying to calm myself down. A warm hand landed lightly on my shoulder and I nearly jumped out of my seat.

"Oh sorry, honey. I didn't mean to startle you."

A flight attendant hovered over me with a hungry look in her eyes. She bit her lower lip in what I could only assume was meant to look seductive. Bella could teach this lady a few things about _that_ move.

"Uh, would you like something to drink?" she stammered; eyes roving all over me. I just stared blankly wondering why she was bothering me when I was trying to figure out what the fuck was going on with me. She started to blush. Oh my god, did she just stick her boobs out? I could smell the desperation coming off of her like cheap perfume. She leaned down until her face was just inches from mine.

"My name's Amy," she said with a low, husky voice that had probably more to do with heavy smoking than being sexy. Her hand traced down her neck towards the top of her open blouse in invitation. "What can I get for you?"

_Well_, I thought, _you can get me my girlfriend, naked on my bed, covered in ice cream. _Yeah, that ought to do the trick. As if I'd want anything this girl was offering. I looked up and was taken completely off guard. Bella always complained how women flirted shamelessly with me right in front of her. She wasn't really threatened. How could she be when I was always too busy staring at her, or mad-dogging all the guys who dared look at my girl? So, I couldn't believe that I was actually experiencing this flirting thing first hand. It's not like I could blame the girl. I was hot as hell. Come on. But, I only needed one woman to stroke my ego, and that was Bells.

"Just water, thanks," I answered politely. I just wanted her to leave me alone so that I could figure out what the hell was going on.

She handed me a water bottle and as I reached for it, her hand brushed mine. She shivered at the contact and I tried my best not to roll my eyes. Was she for real? She leaned down again and I could swear that she popped another button on her blouse. "Is there _anything_ else I can get for you?"

By the tone of her voice, it was safe to assume that _she_ was on the menu. I was starting to get pissed. I felt all fucked up in the head. I missed Bella and I really didn't want to be stuck on this crappy plane anymore. I sucked in a deep breath and got my temper under control. None of that was this chick's fault. I held the water bottle in my hand, shook my head and said, "No, this is fine, thanks."

"Well, come and find me if you need anything else." And then she walked away, shaking her ass as she went. I rolled my eyes at her wasted efforts.

Instead of staring at her ass, like other men were doing, I thought of what Bella's reaction would've been. Bella. Just thinking of her had a calming effect on me. I took a moment to relax and ease some of the tension in my body. I smiled thinking how pissed off she would be if she were here with me now. I would probably have to hold her back from trying to scratch the flight attendant's eyes out. Damn, my woman was feisty and I loved it. Bella was not afraid to fight for her man. My former tutor Shawna could attest to that fact.

I chuckled, thinking back to that day in the library when Bella called my tutor out on trying to steal her man. I, of course, had been oblivious to Shawna's alleged charms. But, I won't deny that after Bella ripped Shawna a new one, I had wanted to take her up against the book stacks. What could I say? Her jealousy and possessiveness was a turn on. Plus, it reassured me to know that I wasn't the only crazy one in this relationship.

And…now I'm hard. Great. That's probably the last thing I needed to deal with at this point. I adjusted myself in my jeans and looked up and down the aisle for available bathrooms. God, this was going to be a long flight if I didn't take care of this. I wondered if you could get into the Mile High Club flying solo. Fuck it, I was about to find out. I was in misery and I needed relief. I got up, took one look at the sardine can they called a bathroom, and returned to my seat. Misery it is, I guess. God, this was going to be a long flight.

I tapped my fingers on the armrest. I couldn't keep my legs still. I was filled with nervous energy; the kind that could only be diffused by phasing or great sex. And I wasn't getting either at the moment.

I looked at my cell phone and almost lost it for real. I never called Bella when I arrived at the airport. I'd promised her that I would. God, I was such an idiot. She was probably worried sick. She had enough on her plate to worry about. I felt like a total dick. I always thought of Bella first. My anxiety spiked. Nothing was making any sense to me. A distant voice in my head told me to relax; that everything was fine. And I wanted to listen. I wanted all my fear and doubt to go away. That voice promised it would. But, I just wasn't buying it. I needed to hear Bella's voice. She always knows how to calm me. I slammed my fist against the arm rest. I couldn't do a damn thing about anything until this flight was over. I started to count every second.

I called Bella the moment the plane landed. I growled when I got her voicemail, scaring the shit out of the old lady in the seat in front of me. I didn't care. I never got Bella's voicemail. She always answered my calls. Was she mad at me for not calling her earlier? Maybe she was teaching me a lesson. _Yes_, that tiny voice said. Bella was just angry with me. She'd call me once she cooled down. Only problem with that theory was that Bella just wasn't like that. She was too kind to play games. If she was pissed, she'd let me know it. I left her a message apologizing anyway. I told her I was an ass and asked her to call me right away. That should smooth things over with her until I could speak to her directly. The most important thing was to get home, that voice insisted. And I tried my best to obey.

I rushed off the plane, trying hard not to push and shove my way through the crowded terminal. I called Bella again. Still no answer. I wouldn't feel right until I heard her voice. The recorded version just wasn't cutting it.

I headed towards long-term parking to pick up my car. I was a wreck as I drove. I checked my cell every two minutes, but Bella still hadn't called me back. I must have called her another ten times on the way. A part of me wanted to turn around and catch a flight right back to San Diego. But that voice that refused to be ignored told me I was being stupid; too overprotective. I pounded the steering wheel in frustration. If I was over-reacting and annoying the hell out of her, I could apologize later. But, I wouldn't be able to pull myself together until I talked to her.

Out of nowhere, another thought occurred to me. Bella was probably just taking a long, deserved nap. After all, I hadn't let her sleep much in the past week. That train of thought led to a self-satisfied grin that lit up my face. My mind wandered over our week spent naked in bed. Mmm, naked Bella. Okay, I felt a little better already. She was probably passed out in bed, dead to the world. Or maybe she was taking a nice long bath. She'd call me as soon as she was done. It was a nice thought. So why was my stomach twisting into knots? No matter how hard I tried to convince myself, I just couldn't believe it. Bella would never leave me hanging this long; not unless she had no choice in the matter.

My anxiety grew with every mile, while that "it's all good" voice got quieter and quieter. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to run some of this nervous energy off or I was going to lose my mind. The waiting was killing me. I pulled off of the main highway onto a dirt road that led into the forest. I parked the car behind some brush, got out, stripped and phased. I immediately felt some relief. If I couldn't have Bella, then I needed the fresh, clean air of the forest in my lungs and soft dirt beneath my paws. It was the only other release available to me.

I was still about an hour from home so I took off running at full throttle. The wind in my fur was invigorating. Running was my favorite part of being a wolf, well, apart from the superhuman strength and stamina. For the briefest of moments I felt like everything was going to be okay, and it had nothing to do with that stupid voice.

Of course, the thrill I felt was too good to be true. I should've known it would end as soon as it began. After about ten minutes of running, I heard them. Embry and Collin were running patrols. I didn't want to deal with them in my current state. I kept on going, trying to keep my mind quiet, hoping they wouldn't notice me.

"_Hey Jake, you're back," _Embry said.

Fuck. No such luck.

"_Gee, nice to see you too asshole! What the hell's your problem? I thought Bella was supposed to bang loose that stick from your ass."_

I growled low in my throat, showing Embry what I planned to do to him once I got my hands on him. Collin stayed quiet and tried to pretend he couldn't hear us argue. Smart boy.

"_Don't talk about Bella that way. I'm not in the mood, dick! Back the fuck off!"_

That split second of uncontrolled rage allowed my carefully constructed walls to fall down. Embry got a peek into my mind. He saw how the perfect joy of the week was now tainted with worry and the ever-growing sense that Bella was somehow in danger.

"_Jake, if you're that worried about her, why don't you just call her?"_

"_What the fuck do you think I've been doing?" _I roared.

"_Take it easy, Jake,"_ Collin interjected. _"We're trying to help."_

I took a deep breath before continuing. _"Look, I'm sorry for snapping but I tried calling her! Like a fucking-thousand times! She's not answering. I thought she might be mad at me for not calling her when I first got to the airport, but..."_

"_That doesn't sound like Bella."_

"_Yeah…I know. And normally, I wouldn't even think that way, but..."_

"_Wait, why didn't you call her when you got to the airport?"_

I showed him what happened from the moment I said good-bye to Bella to the moment I got on the plane. He could see what a haze I'd been in.

"_Dude, that's not normal. It sounds like someone was controlling you."_

I snorted. _"Yeah, but that's impossible, right?"_

"_Dude, we're werewolves and we hunt vampires. Nothing seems impossible to me." _

We stayed quiet for a while.

"_Did you talk to Seth?" he asked._

"_No, I was too busy worrying about Bella. I wasn't exactly thinking clearly. Shit, I left my phone in the car."_

"_I've got mine on me," _Embry said. _"I'm gonna phase and call him. I'll be right back."_

I felt Embry phase out leaving me with a silent Collin. He was staying mum about this mess and I was truly grateful for it. As it was, I could barely contain the deepening sense of dread that was growing in the pit of my stomach. That optimistic voice that had been plaguing me was mysteriously absent. My gut told me that I had been right all along. Something was definitely wrong.

A second later, I sensed Embry's presence. But he kept his mind quiet.

"_You're killing me. What did Seth say?"_

After a pause that went on forever he replied, _"He's not answering either."_

My heart lodged in my throat. I cursed that stupid voice for keeping me from Bella; from where I belonged. I should've trusted my instincts from the start. I ran at break-neck speed towards the Rez. I needed to raise the alarm, get the vampires and wolves together so that we could go back to San Diego _now_. It wasn't a coincidence that we couldn't get a hold of the two of them. They could've been in an accident. Bella could be on the operating table right now. But even as I thought of that grim possibility, my gut told me that the truth was much, much worse.

Maybe I had known the truth all along. I mean, that blindly optimistic voice that had been driving me didn't sound like me at all. Maybe I was in denial because the reality was too much for me to deal with. All the pieces were coming together. This had the Volturi written all over it. The need to get to Bella was the only thing keeping me going.

Embry and Collin ran with me. Though we were miles apart, I felt their support and determination come through our pack bond. They were just as scared as I was. They were scared for our brother, sure. But I could feel their anxiety when they thought of Bella in the hands of leeches. Seth could take care of himself. But, Bella was human. And, since she was my mate, she was also a sister to them. If anything happened to her…I ran faster than I had ever run in my life. I was just about to near the boundary to La Push when I caught the scent. I pulled up short. That sickly, sweet scent burned my nose. Vampires.

I roared in fury. Leeches on my turf? Fuck no. Not now! I did _not_ have time for this. I dispensed with orders quickly. _"Collin, get reinforcements. Tell Sam, the Cullens, anyone you can find about what's going down. NOW!"_

Collin took off towards home since he was closest. Embry was still a few miles out. That left me alone to deal with the leeches until help came.

"_Don't even think about it, Jake! I'm almost there. Don't you dare engage without me!"_

He was right. Hell, as Alpha, I made up that rule of engagement. None of us, including me, were allowed to engage with enemy leeches without at least one other wolf as backup. But this was different. Something was wrong with Seth and Bella, and I wasn't exactly thinking clearly. I wanted a leech to destroy. And I wasn't about to let common sense stop me.

Embry picked up on my determination and I felt him increase his speed that much more yelling, _"Damn it! I'm on my way!"_

I charged in the direction of the familiar stench. My alpha instincts kicked in full force. This was _my_ land. These were _my_ people. Like hell would I let bloodsuckers threaten our very existence. Not today; not ever. They were as good as dead.

As the scent grew in strength I slowed my pace. I was deceptively quiet for my size and I used that to my advantage. I wanted to make sure that the leeches didn't hear so much as a twig snap to alert them to my presence.

I came up on a clearing where a small female vampire and a large male vampire were standing. I made sure I was downwind of them. They wore long red cloaks, which stood out in the green forest, and told me that not only were these assholes Volturi, they weren't even trying to blend in.

"Francesca," the male vampire leaned his back against a tree, "I'm bored. When do we get to kill them?"

My ears perked up. I wasn't familiar with anyone in the Volturi named Francesca. I didn't think Bella had ever mentioned her before either. In fact, my gut told me she didn't know about her. A sudden thought occurred to me. What if this Francesca bitch was the vamp responsible for blocking Alice's visions? Intuition told me she was. And for once today, I was going to trust it. If I could take these two leeches out, Alice wouldn't be blind anymore. We'd know exactly what happened with Bella and Seth. We'd be able to save them.

I went into full recon mode, hoping to find out as much as I could about them before I tore them apart. Dead leeches weren't as informative.

"Relax, Demetri. Jane said she'd let us know when they have the package." She giggled. "Don't you just love code words? It's all so cloak and dagger."

Demetri laughed. "Package, huh? Is that how we're referring to her now?" He sighed dramatically. "Well, she does seem to be a complete waste. And, we have gone to a lot of trouble to secure her. Hmm, I suppose 'package' is an apt description."

"Oh, please. And your attitude has nothing to do with the fact that you can't have her, right? Please. You're just sore because Aro promised her to Alec and not you." She gave him a knowing smile but Demetri just shrugged.

"The idea was tempting. But trust me, that crazy bastard can have her. After he's done with her, she'll be just as bat-shit crazy as he is. Besides, I don't want some dog's sloppy seconds."

I started to shake violently. I was holding on by a thread. A quiet buzzing sound caught Francesca's attention. She reached into her robe and took out her cell phone. She stared at the screen and a devious smile lit up her face. "It's confirmed. The package has been delivered. Aro has Bella."

My vision went red. I dimly heard Embry's voice in my head shouting, _Oh shit! _But, I ignored it. I heard the faint echo of Sam, Leah and Quil's voices all yelling at me to stand down, that they were on their way. But, I might as well have been deaf because all I heard, all I knew was that Aro had _my_ Bella. And these fuckers in front of me were talking about her as though she were a thing to be passed around. The only clarity I possessed at this point was the knowledge that I would kill every leech on the face of the earth to get her back.

I exploded into the clearing, teeth and claws at the ready. I wanted to take out Demetri first. He was the bigger, stronger threat. It was the smart thing to do when outnumbered. But I was SOL on this mission with no backup. And Francesca was closer.

I aimed for the bitch, snarling as my teeth neared her neck. She spun around at the last second. Instead of getting her neck, I got her shoulder. I wasn't about to waste the opportunity. I bit down hard, sawing my teeth back and forth. I took her arm off at the shoulder, tossing it into the trees with a flick of my head. She screamed in agony and it was music to my ears. I growled and lunged for her again, but Demetri finally sprang into action.

He charged at me, grabbing me from behind and locking his arms around my rib cage. He tugged and pulled me away from Francesca so that he could squeeze the life out of me. I felt my ribs crack and break under the pressure. I twisted and turned trying to loosen his hold on me. Luckily, the idiot failed to restrain my front legs. I was able to reach down with one paw and claw his right leg open from the thigh to the hip. He roared and threw me across the clearing. I crashed into a tree and fell to the ground before rolling back up on all fours. It would take more than that and a few broken bones to take me out.

I lunged for Demetri again. He was quick, but I was faster. We circled each other while Francesca moaned and wailed at the loss of her arm. She was trying to find it in the brush so that she could reattach it. And if that happened, she'd rejoin the fight. I liked my odds the way they stood now.

I faked to the right, drawing Demetri before quickly going left instead. I came up right behind Francesca who had been oblivious to my presence. My claws connected with her granite skin; slicing a trail down her back. Then I tore off her other arm with my teeth. Try putting your arms back on with no hands, bitch! She screamed again and fell to her knees. I was about to finish her off when Demetri barreled into me from the side.

"You filthy animal!" he cried.

We rolled to the ground. He threw multiple, bracing punches while I swiped at him with my claws, snapping at him with my teeth. He kept driving me away from the female. He landed a hard blow and I felt my collar bone shatter. With a swipe of my paw I sliced him open at the stomach. He punched me in the face, splitting my skin from my cheek to my muzzle. That just pissed me off even more.

I used my massive body to drive him back, all the while going for his neck, ripping out chunks and spitting them out. He paid that back by landing a swift kick to my hind leg. I heard a loud snap.

He thought he had me at that point, so I played along. It wasn't hard to pretend to be seriously wounded. I mean, my hind leg wasn't exactly holding my weight anymore. In fact, it hung loosely at a wrong angle. I whimpered, acting weak and helpless.

Demetri laughed. "I told Aro you were just poor imitations of the Children of the Moon. We should've destroyed you long ago."

He went for my neck; going in for the deathblow. But I wasn't going out like that. Quick as lightning I twisted away at the last second. I clawed again at his already damaged leg. I latched onto it with my teeth and tore it off at the knee. He wobbled for balance, but I jumped him, pressing my advantage and brought him to the ground. For a split second he stared up at me, his eyes were filled with shock and disbelief. And then it was my turn to go for the neck. I chewed and bit through it, severing his head from his body. It rolled across the clearing, right to Francesca's feet.

I focused on her, snarling and ready for more. She took one look into my eyes and shuffled her legs awkwardly until her retreat was blocked by a tree. With no arms to balance her, she was trapped. She leaned back against the tree, shoulders bowed in defeat. I phased in front of her, not caring that I was now completely naked. And that's how the pack found me.

Sam, Leah and Embry skidded to a stop when they saw the carnage in front of them. And then they all gaped at me. I could only imagine what they were seeing. I had broken bones and open, bleeding wounds all over my body. I glanced down and saw a piece of bone sticking out of my thigh. Ah, my femur. So that's what that loud snap was. My friends phased back to human.

Embry stepped forward, fear and concern all over his face. "Jake, are you…"

I pointed to Demetri's remains. "Burn this motherfucker, now!"

They rushed to obey the order. Sam and Embry collected pieces of his body while Leah started a fire. Within minutes purple flames shot up in the air, burning away all of Demetri's remains. Francesca's eyes moved rapidly between the fire and my face. She whimpered in fear.

I stalked closer to her, ignoring the pain in my leg. I found one of her arms and held it up to her. "I'll give this back to you and I'll let you live if you tell me everything I want to know."

"Jake…" Sam and Embry started to argue, but I didn't care. I was too focused on the soulless eyes of the bitch on the ground.

"What's it going to be, leech?" I asked.

"I'll tell you everything. I swear. Please, just give me my arm now…as…as a show of good faith? Please?"

I knelt in front of her and positioned her arm, lining it up to her body. The flesh knit together seamlessly before my eyes. "I'll give back the other one when you're finished," I said.

And then she started talking. She told me that Demetri had always been able to locate Bella. She wasn't immune to his powers like we had thought. In fact, they hadn't attacked us because they were waiting and watching to see what the Cullens would do.

"How did Aro find out about us? How did he know about the wolves?"

"I don't know."

I ripped off her thumb and a loud crack echoed in the clearing. The vampire screamed. "No, please no! I swear to you that I don't know. Aro doesn't tell us everything. He just said something about betrayal. He said that you had been betrayed."

I could tell that she wasn't lying about this. She was terrified and out to save herself. There was no loyalty among evil bloodsuckers. As long as she thought she could be saved, she would sell out her own mother, let alone the ruler of the vampires. I tucked the bit of information about betrayal in the back of my mind. No one from any of the packs or the tribe would've betrayed us. So, I could only imagine it would've been one of Carlisle's allies. I'd worry about that later.

"What happened in San Diego?"

"Aro sent Jane and Felix to retrieve Bella. Felix was ordered to use his powers of persuasion on you."

I looked to my friends, but they just shrugged in confusion. "What the hell are you talking about? I thought Felix was just the dumb muscle."

"That's what Aro wants everyone to think. But, Felix' talents are more subtle than that. If he can get close enough to you, he can persuade or compel you to do anything he wants. He could make you walk in front of a bus. He could make you kill your parents, your lover or even your child. And you would do it like it was the most natural thing you could do. He invades your subconscious mind and becomes a voice inside your head; a voice that drives you. He just places a suggestion in your head and you do the rest."

My nostrils flared and I ground my teeth. That fucking voice! Felix' persuasion tactics overrode my own instincts. He would pay for that.

But something didn't make sense about that scenario. "If Felix could've done all that to me, then why didn't he just kill me, or make me do it myself?"

"Aro likes dramatics. Felix was ordered to spare you; to send you home with the Volturi right under your nose. That way, when you found out she was taken, you'd see your ultimate failure."

Francesca looked away, unable to meet my eyes. I twisted her arm at the elbow, threatening to dislocate the joint from its socket. "You don't really believe that's the reason, do you?" I growled.

She hissed at me, but then shook her head. "No," she yelled. "I think deep down he was afraid that you'd be more than Jane and Felix could handle. He knows the lengths a male will go to, to protect his mate. Aro was afraid that your wolf instincts would override Felix' commands if you saw firsthand that they were trying to take her from you. They didn't want to take that chance. No, it was easier to get you out of the picture so they could ensure Bella's capture.

"What about Seth?"

"Who's that?"

"The wolf that was left there to guard her," I yelled in frustration. "What the hell happened to him?"

She flinched. "T-they…they were ordered to kill him."

"No!" Leah cried out in anguish. Sam and Embry comforted her while I stared down at Francesca with hate in my eyes. I couldn't let my emotions out. I had to make myself hard and empty if I was going to face the battle ahead. I had no room for empathy. I had a job to do and there was no place for compassion. I had to close off all the emotions that made me who I was. If we were going to succeed, I needed to be a hardened shell. So, I ignored Leah's tortured cries and focused all my attention on the vampire.

"What were you and Demetri talking about earlier? You said you were waiting for orders. What were you guys doing here?

"We were scouting for the Volturi Guard. Jane is on her way here with all fifty members. They're coming to annihilate your pack and to kill whoever knows about you."

Well, that wasn't unexpected, I thought grimly. I swallowed hard and asked the question that had been burning on my tongue. "What about Bella? What does Aro have planned for her?"

"He's going to turn her and…and give her to Alec to be his bride."

My wolf raged within me, fighting to break out, wanting to make those words untrue. But, I locked it down deep inside. If I let it loose now, I'd never be able to rein myself in. And my friends and family would die as a result.

"Is that everything? Have you told me everything you know?" I twisted her arm again for emphasis.

"Yes," she screamed. "Yes, you bastard! I've told you everything."

I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was telling the truth. If the freak could've cried, she'd be balling right about now.

"Alright," I said.

"So, you're going to let me go like you said?"

I stood up and retrieved her other arm, which had been lying uselessly on the forest floor. She looked up at me hopefully, like I was her savior, waiting for me to reattach the second arm.

"No," I said, right before I tossed her arm into the fire.

Her eyes went wide with fear. "But, you said…you promised. I told you everything I know."

I was on her quicker than she could blink. I tore one leg off at the knee. Her screams were piercing, deafening.

"I don't make deals with leeches," I said. Then I ripped her other leg off at the hip and threw both of them onto the fire where they ignited instantaneously.

"Jake," Embry yelled, trying to get my attention. "What are you doing, man? Just finish it. This isn't you."

I shot Embry an angry glare that shut him up instantly. I went for Francesca's remaining arm; the one I'd previously reattached as a "show of good faith." She gave me a defeated glare. "What do you want from me?"

A loud crack sounded when I broke the arm off of her body, leaving only her head and her torso, shrouded in the remnants of that stupid red cape. More purple smoke wafted up as the arm began to burn.

"I want Bella back you bitch!" My fury had been unleashed. A wildness erupted from me that I thought would never be tamed. "You shouldn't have taken what was mine!" I reached for her neck and twisted her head off with my bare hands. Crazed, I started to tear off pieces of her body, bit by bit. I had no claws, so I used my fingernails. She was reduced to rubble before I threw the rest of her on the fire.

Sam, Embry and Leah looked at me like I was possessed; like I had lost all sense and reason. I refused to meet their eyes. I knew I wouldn't like what I saw there; the judgment, the fear. We killed vampires to protect people. It was our job. It was what we were born to do. We did the job quickly and efficiently to minimize our chances of getting hurt. The only true pleasure we took was in the knowledge that another dead leech meant our people were that much safer. But, I had just taken pleasure in slowly torturing a leech before giving her false hope and then killing her.

I looked at my friends. Maybe they were right. My heart raced and my body ached to destroy, to hurt; to kill. I wasn't myself. But, how could I be when Bella's life was in danger? They had no idea of the pain I was feeling. She was alone and frightened; about to become her worst nightmare. And I had failed to protect my brother from harm. I was powerless to help them. Instead, I stood naked in the forest, with blood dripping from numerous wounds all over my body. It was all just too much. I began to shake and I tossed my head back letting out an inhuman, primal scream that shook the trees down to their roots. And then everything went dark.

I woke up with a start, only to find that I was in my own room. Leah sat on the edge of my bed with tears in her eyes.

I groaned feeling like I was coming out of a fog. Not again, I thought. I tried to rub the sleep out of my eyes when I felt a slight tug. An IV drip was strapped to my arm. I ripped off the take and tore the needle out.

"Jake, no," Leah cried. "That's your morphine."

"Don't need it," I replied, still a little groggy from the pain killers.

I threw the sheet off and found stitches running down my thigh. Carlisle had obviously been busy tending to me while I'd been out. I just didn't know how long that was. I got dressed in a hurry. I needed to get to Bella. I couldn't waste another second.

Leah opened her mouth to speak, but I cut her off with a wave of my hand. "Not now," I growled.

My body was sore and broken, but I was healing. That's all that mattered. I ignored the pain that surfaced as my body temperature burned through the remaining morphine in my system. I made my way into the living room on shaky feet.

"You shouldn't be up," Leah called after me. "You're still healing."

"I don't have time for that."

I froze as soon as I stepped into the room. It was filled to capacity with pack mates, Cullens and the two Alphas from our allied tribes that were currently on rotation. Zack and Peter. They were great guys. Charlie and Sue were there too, comforting each other. It was clear that Sam and Leah had told everyone about what had happened out in that clearing. All that anger and rage returned, overriding any pain I felt. I wanted to punch something. I had failed them both. Their children were…it was all my fault. Dread and despair filled the room. The tension was so thick I almost choked on it.

Carlisle, sensing my inner turmoil, approached me cautiously. "Jacob, you should listen to Leah. You had a compound fracture of your femur. I had to re-break it just so it would set properly. You had lacerations over fifty percent…"

"How long was I out?"

Carlisle frowned. "About an hour. That's why it's important that you rest so you can heal properly."

"The Volturi have Bella!" I yelled, startling everyone in the room with my booming voice. All eyes shifted nervously to me. "Do you really think I give a fuck about anything else?"

"Son, calm down." Billy's voice was quiet and soothing.

I closed my eyes and clenched my fists. "The Volturi have Bella," I said through gritted teeth. "I'm getting her back. Nothing and no one is going to stand in my way. So, either help me or get the hell away from me. Either way, don't waste my time."

A loud snarl broke the tense silence. The next thing I knew, someone barreled into me like a wrecking ball, knocking me off my feet. I smashed into the wall behind me, leaving dust from the broken drywall in my hair. A few of my healing ribs re-broke. I looked up and found Edward's hands around my neck.

"You fucking idiot," he yelled. His freaky yellow eyes were crazed. "You led them right to her."

Chaos broke out. Everyone started yelling. Wolves and vampires tried to break us apart. I was not about to let the sparkling prick use me to vent his own frustration. With a loud roar I socked him in the face and threw him off of me. I threw him so hard that the force of it sent him crashing through the front door. He landed on the porch then scrambled to his feet, ready to attack.

"Try that again," I growled menacingly, "and so help me god I _will_ end you."

My pack boxed me in, preventing me from lunging in Edward's direction. Jasper and Emmett struggled to keep Edward restrained.

"Don't you listen?" I yelled. "Aro knew where she was the whole time. If anyone should be pissed it's me. You guys told me that she would be safe away from me. _You_ offered to go with her. Well, none of that fucking mattered! She was taken anyway. So don't you dare attack me when you're the one who's guilty here!"

Edward lunged for me again. I pushed Sam to the side to clear my path to the leech.

"Edward!" Carlisle's voice rang out causing everyone to stop in their tracks. Emmett and Jasper got another hold on Edward while Jared and Paul held me back.

Carlisle looked angrier than I'd ever seen him. "Jacob is recovering from serious injuries. You can't…"

"That's the only reason you even got a drop on me, leech," I growled at Edward.

"Just STOP IT!" Alice bellowed.

Alice's tiny form captivated everyone in the room. As small as she was, she looked deadly and angry enough to take us all on. In a quieter voice she said, "Fighting isn't going to help Bella," she glared at me before continuing, "…or Seth."

Realization hit me like a punch to the gut. Seth. Jane and Felix had been ordered to kill him. I had just assumed that Leah's tears and everyone's despair was about Bella's kidnapping. I felt like such an ass. My brother…I realized I didn't even know what had happened to him.

"What happened to Seth?" I asked. My voice was shaky. I was walking a fine line. I was trying to maintain some control when all I really wanted to do was tear this house apart. The wolf inside, was trying to claw its way out to find its mate and protect its pack. I was torn up inside. Something needed to be done; now!

Carlisle stepped forward when none of the wolves volunteered the information. Oh god, no. That wasn't good. No one would meet my eyes. I shook my head in denial. Not Seth! God, please not Seth. He was just a kid; a kid who used to look up to me like I was his idol. And I let him get killed. Oh god, no.

I stumbled back against the wall, no longer able to support my own weight. My injuries were taking their toll on me. Carlisle's eyes were filled with compassion. "He's not dead," he said immediately. Though, the way he said it implied that Seth wasn't far from death's door.

Billy cleared his throat and said, "Son, Seth called me right before they brought you in. He'd been unconscious for hours; bleeding out."

Sue let out a cry and wept openly. Charlie and Leah wrapped their arms around her, comforting her as best they could.

Billy sighed, looking equally pained. "He wasn't lucid for long, and it was hard for him to speak. He sounded like his jaw could've been broken and he might have had a punctured lung. He said that Jane and Felix came for Bella, shortly after you left. Seth rushed to protect her, but Jane crippled him with her powers. They beat him to within an inch of his life. The only reason he's alive is because they were spooked by the sound of sirens, thinking someone had called the police. Knowing them, they didn't want to make a scene. The last thing he said before passing out was that they were taking Bella to Volterra."

The kid had almost died protecting Bella. I could never be more proud and worried at the same time. I owed him more than I could possibly re-pay. "We need to send someone to help him," I told Carlisle.

He nodded his head. "I've already taken care of that, Jacob. I sent Esme and Quil."

I was in awe of Carlisle's foresight. Seth was seriously injured. If the Doc would've sent Esme without a wolf present, he might have lashed out and attacked her in his delirium. Quil would ensure that he stayed calm while Esme worked on him.

"Wait, why didn't you go?" I asked. I appreciated him sending help, but he was the actual doctor. And if Seth was hurt that badly, I wanted him to have the best.

"Esme has a medical degree. I can assure you that she's more than capable of healing Seth's wounds. And, if for any reason she needs my help, she can always call me. Seth's a wolf. He will heal. But, Bella needs me more. I'm going with you."

My heart froze in my chest. Carlisle's tone of voice told me that something else was going on. Alice had to have been able to see Bella in her visions by now. She was definitely alive and not a vampire, otherwise they wouldn't be acting this calmly. But maybe something else was happening to her, and they didn't want to tell me. I thought back to what Francesca had said; that Bella had been promised to Alec as his wife. Horrible visions crossed my mind in an instant. Oh god, no! I started to shake again.

"Son."

I tuned my father out. My mind was already dreaming up scenarios where I would isolate Alec. I would torture him slowly, making him beg for mercy before killing him. My mind refused to acknowledge what that bastard could be doing to Bella right now. I would relish making him pay. He would learn- before he died in agonizing pain- that he had messed with the wrong wolf. My vengeance would be legendary. I was going to bring down the entire fucking city. The Volturi would never hurt anyone ever again.

"Son," Billy repeated. "I don't like that look in your eyes."

I closed my eyes and tried to tamp down my violent urges. Sam, Leah and Embry must have told my father all about what happened in the clearing. I knew my father wasn't judging. But, it was clear he was worried about me. It was one thing to kill because you had to. It was a whole other thing to take pleasure in it. That's what the leeches did. And walking down that path would make me no better than them.

I pushed those thoughts from my mind, reminding myself that I didn't have the luxury of worrying about losing myself in my quest for revenge. I channeled all my rage and pain into a singular focus. I was a leader. My mate had been taken by the enemy and my people were marked for a forced extinction. I could either lose my shit right now, or be useful. Being useful was the only way to get Bella back. So, I locked my rage behind a cold façade. I was dead inside anyway without Bella.

I addressed the room at large. "We need to get the rest of the wolves her ASAP."

"I've already taken care of that son," Billy said.

"Peter and I have been on the phone with the other alphas," Zack added. "Carlisle helped us charter planes for everyone. They've been mobilized. All the flights should arrive before midnight."

I nodded, appreciative that it was one less thing I had to worry about. Peter squeezed my shoulder and said, "We'll take care of your people, Jake. Go get your woman back."

It was my duty and birthright to protect La Push. And I knew I was horrible for thinking this way, but I couldn't care less. I was so grateful for my pack and the rest of the wolves who were there to pick up my slack. Because, now that I knew Seth was alive, getting to Bella was the only thought on my mind.

I gave Peter a stiff nod. One day I would be able to express my gratitude for their help and sacrifice. He gave me a look that said he understood.

"Alice, when will Jane and the Volturi Guard get here?"

"They'll be here at Dawn."

Shit. That didn't give us a lot of time. My people; my friends needed me. I did feel guilty that I was leaving them; essentially choosing Bella over my duty. But, when all was said and done, it wasn't even a tough call. And, if that made me a dick, then so be it. I needed Bella. I felt Sam's strong, reassuring hand on my shoulder. "We've got this, Jake. It's what we've been training for. Just…just bring Bella back to us."

My cold façade almost shattered under the love and warmth I felt in the room. I wasn't the only one in pain over Bella's absence. As far as Sam and the rest of the pack were concerned, Bella was family. And we needed her home where she belonged.

"Well, I guess that's everything then." I had faith in Sam and our pack. They would protect our people in my absence or die trying.

"Alright Carlisle, we need to leave." I looked at my pack, wishing I could have them as backup, but knowing that the tribe needed them more.

There was no turning back. Carlisle would figure out who he would bring from his family. I didn't really care. Bella's time was running out. I could read it in Alice's eyes even if she refused to acknowledge it.

I looked at my family and friends; everyone I was leaving behind. We were going to war. I might not see some of them ever again. Hell, despite my ego, I might not make it back home myself. This could very well be our last good-bye. But there was no time for being sentimental. Instead, I gave them all a curt nod and walked out the door.

Carlisle, Alice, Jasper and Edward followed me outside. Apparently Emmett and Rosalie had decided to stay and fight with the pack. I was about to get into Carlisle's Mercedes when I heard footsteps on the gravel driveway. Someone was running after us. I turned around and found Charlie looking red-faced and breathing heavily.

"You bring her back home, son," he said.

"I'm not coming home without her." _I would die before I let that happen_ went unsaid.

**BPOV:**

I came awake slowly, my mind lost in a fog. My body felt like it had been worked over by a dump truck. A heavy weight had settled over my chest. I sat up slowly and groaned. Every muscle felt sore and used. Blood rushed to my brain and my head pounded viciously. A wave of nausea soon followed. I was a wreck and I couldn't even remember why.

The instant my fingers gripped the silk coverlet beneath me, I knew something was wrong. This was not my bed. And the stone walls told me unequivocally that this was not my bedroom. My heart raced and panic set in. In an overwhelming moment of clarity, the fog behind my eyes dissipated and I found myself shaking with dread. "Oh my god," I cried out. _The Volturi_. I was in Volterra.

Memories flooded to the fore. One moment I was in Jacob's arms and the next I was engulfed in Felix's vise-like grip while Jane sneered and laughed in her triumph. And the last thing I remembered before passing out all together was a haunting howl filled with agony. Seth!

The anxiety and fear became too much for me. I stumbled off the bed and staggered towards the open door by the bed. With luck, this would be a bathroom. I turned on the light. Bathroom it is. I ran to the toilet, flipped the lid and proceeded to empty my stomach of all its contents.

My throat was raw and sore by the time I was done. There was nothing left in my stomach to expel. I collapsed on the cold, marble floor and let the tears flow. Seth! His pained howl played over and over in my mind. Was he still alive? I didn't even know. He had been outnumbered two to one and with Jane's extra abilities, it was hardly a fair fight.

I cried until I shook. Seth and I had been through so much. We had become so close. After Jacob, I considered him my best friend. And he did exactly what he said he would do. He laid down his life for me, putting himself between me and the enemy. He was my protector, even until the end.

Oh God! No, I couldn't think that way. The truth was that I had no idea what really happened. I didn't know if he was dead or alive. He could've been taken captive along with me, which granted, was not much better, but at least he'd be alive. If I let fear and doubt consume me now I wouldn't be useful to anybody. No. Long ago I had vowed to myself, never to be weak and helpless again. I needed to pull myself together and be strong.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and stood up with renewed focus. The bathroom was covered wall to wall with marble and ostentatious gold fixtures. The opulence had Aro written all over it. I took a look at myself in the mirror and gasped. My eyes were bloodshot and my hair was a tangled mess. I had dark circles under my eyes and bruises around my mouth, most likely from Felix pressing that cloth to my face. They must have used chloroform. Funny, I thought they only used things like that in the movies. I guess I was wrong.

Aside from the state of my face I noticed that I was still wearing Jacob's shirt. In fact, it was the _only_ thing I was wearing. The shirt was opened down to my belly button, nearly falling off at the shoulder. I hastily buttoned it up tight, straight to my neck. I refused to think of how much skin had been exposed when I had been left unconscious and vulnerable. I felt dirty and disgusting just thinking of Felix using that opportunity to put his hands on me. I was vulnerable in every way possible. This nightmare was getting worse by the minute.

I decided to freshen up. I needed something normal to do to take my mind off of how desperate my situation was. For some reason I wasn't surprised to find that the bathroom was stocked like a hotel suite, including a newly packaged tooth brush and tooth paste. There was even a luxurious robe hanging by the shower coupled with rich oils and soaps.

I stepped out of the bathroom and took my bearings. The room was decorated beautifully. Across from the bed was a large wooden door, reinforced with iron bands drilled into its width and length with an impressive iron lock. Next to the door was a large fireplace with a small fire burning; the light from which was the only illumination in the room. The bathroom was wired with electricity, but it was clear that the bedroom was not. The cold stone floors were covered with thick rugs and the walls were draped in various tapestries that were probably hundreds of years old. But, all the decoration couldn't hide the fact that this room was nothing but a glorified prison.

I had never felt so alone. I pulled the lapels of Jacob's shirt up to my nose and inhaled his scent, hoping it would give me strength. I started to pace back and forth. How would an Alpha wolf think in a situation like this? I thought through all kinds of escape scenarios and plans of action. But, they all ended with my grisly death, or worse. No, it was better to keep still and learn as much about my prison as possible. Maybe there would be an opportunity for escape later. I decided to just stay put. Then I looked at the heavily reinforced door and realized that I didn't really have a choice in the matter.

I was weak. I was hungry, sore and exhausted. Of course, the after effects of the chloroform weren't helping either. But more than that, I was terrified; scared out of my mind. My situation seemed hopeless. I crumpled against the cold stone wall and slid to the floor. I hugged my knees to my chest while my tears made another appearance.

Where was Jacob? There had been about a ten minute interval between his departure and the Volturi's arrival. What did that mean? Did they take Jacob too? Or worse, was he… No, I couldn't even finish that thought. I refused to live in a world where Jacob was…no more. No, I'd feel it. I'd know if he was truly gone. My heart would know. Wouldn't it?

Shaking off that possibility just left me with more questions and absolutely no answers. As far as my mental wellness was concerned, I had only two options to consider. Either Jacob was imprisoned with me, here in Volterra, or he had escaped Jane and Felix' clutches by a matter of minutes. A chill ran through me and I hugged myself tightly, trying to generate some heat. Despite the roaring fire, lush rugs and tapestries, I was cold. Utter hopelessness crept into my psyche and I wondered if I'd ever be warm again. I crawled closer to the fire, needing the heat to keep me lucid and alert.

I sat there, rocking back and forth with an endless supply of tears streaming down my face. How did it come to this? All that careful planning was for nothing. The Volturi found me anyway. But how? And why now, when we were so close to bringing them down once and for all? It was a cruel joke. Our happily ever after was within sight. I should've known better than to believe in fairy tales.

And here I was. A captive. A victim. _Again_. I had come too far over the past two years to end up weak and powerless. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Jacob and the Cullens had had a plan. And it was a good one. I was supposed to have been safe. Now I didn't know if they had just found me by chance, or if they had known where I was all along. It would be just like Aro to toy with us like that.

My thoughts were frantic; going everywhere. But, they always came back to Jacob. _Jacob_. I couldn't get him out of my mind. Where was he now? What was he doing? Was he back home? Did he know that I had been taken? I didn't even know how long I had been out. I could've been out of it for days, for all I knew. And thanks to the thick stone walls and lack of windows, I had no idea whether it was day or night. If Jacob was home, I could only imagine how crazed he must be. I buried my head in my hands. He would blame himself. I know he would. He was my protector. He would think it was his fault and his fault alone that I was taken. And that burden would tear him apart.

I wanted to hold him; reassure him that none of this was his fault. That I ended up where I did because of choices that I had made years ago. It was a destiny that couldn't be avoided once it had been set in motion. Jacob and I had been naïve, thinking that we could have a future together. I was always going to end up here, cold and alone. And Jacob was always going to bear the burden of thinking he had let me down; that he could've saved me. But as I stared into the flickering flames, I realized that I was never meant to be saved.

Jacob, his pack and the Cullens would kill themselves trying to save me; to bring me back home. But I knew that I was only going to go home in one of two ways: dead or as a vampire. I sucked in a ragged breath. Either option still meant death, as far as I was concerned. It would mean I would never grow old with Jacob. We would never have kids and watch them grow and thrive. I would never be able to dream again. My life would be one endless nightmare, from which I could never wake.

Once Aro changed me he was never going to let me go. He was a collector. He prided himself on possessing the most powerful vampires in existence and housing them under his own roof. I had no idea what kind of latent power I possessed. But, Aro had always been fascinated with me. And regardless of my abilities, he was going to exploit them every chance he could. I would become his tool; his weapon.

I knew from my experience with Edward and his family that they were still intrinsically the same people now as they were when they were human. Yes, they dealt with the bloodlust on a daily, hourly basis. But they were still good people. I, on the other hand, would be forced to drink and kill human beings. It was one thing to think of my first year as a newborn under the watch and care of a family that loved me. But, that wouldn't be the case with Aro. He'd make me a killer. And once the insanity and bloodlust of that first year wore off, I wouldn't know myself anymore. I wouldn't want to.

I was pulled out of my dark thoughts by the sound of a key turning in the lock. My heart raced. Was this it? Was this the moment I was going to die? I thought of Jacob again and wished for probably the hundredth time that he was here with me. I scrambled to my feet and stood at the end of the bed, prepared to meet my jailor head on.

I gasped in shock when Alec glided into the room. His smile was sinister and triumphant. His eyes raked over me without apology. Though I had buttoned up my shirt, I felt naked and exposed. Clearly delighted by my discomfort, he stalked towards me. I stepped back until the backs of my legs bumped into the mattress. There was nowhere else for me to go.

Alec had always made me nervous. Sure, his sister Jane got all the attention with her telepathy. But, as far as I was concerned, Alec was the far greater threat. He always stood in the shadows, on the sidelines. He rarely said a word and when he did it was only to unnerve you, to throw you off balance. And that was before you took into account that his special ability allowed him to cut you off from your senses while he killed everyone you loved and then slowly went to work on you. No, Alec was a force to be reckoned with.

It didn't help matters that all that wickedness; all that malice was encased behind the face and body of a teenager. He looked like he was barely fifteen. It chilled me to the bone to see a face like his, one that was beautiful in an almost cherubic way, was filled with such hatred and evil. When he leered at me, I recalled the special attention he paid me on his last visit to Forks. It was made clear by the mad glint in his eyes that his obsession with me had grown.

"Ah, Isabella, you're awake," he said with excitement. He approached me with his arms opened wide, like he expected me to run into his embrace. I was trapped between him and the bed. And based on the look in his eyes, that was not the safest place to be.

I shuffled to the side and ended up with my back against the opposite wall. Alec just smiled. He knew as well as I did that there was nowhere for me to run. If I was able to move away from him, it was because he allowed it.

"Is that any way to greet me, Bella?" His tone was reproachful, like I needed a lesson in manners. He clucked his tongue and said, "Well, what can one expect when you keep mongrels for company."

_Mongrels_. He said mongrels, not mongrel, implying that he knew about more than just Seth. Just how much did they know about the wolves? Up to now, we had all assumed that The Volturi remained ignorant. But, obviously we'd assumed too much. We had grossly underestimated them.

Alec took a step closer and the cold stone at my back froze me to the bone. His nostrils flared and he glared at me, the feigned affection he'd shown just a moment ago, gone in a flash. "Why didn't you take a shower?" he asked me, like it was the most natural question to ask one's captive. "I left a luxurious bathrobe for you to wear and made sure you had plenty of soap to wash that stench off of you." With vampire speed he flashed directly in front of me and pressed me against the wall with his body. I struggled against his hold, but it was like trying to move a mountain. His hand wrapped around my throat in a firm hold. "I can smell him all over you; _in_ you. I don't like others touching what's mine, Isabella."

_Mine? _I couldn't even process that because his hand tightened around my neck crushing my windpipe. I clawed at him until he released me, then I ran across the room to the other wall, gasping for breath. Alec just laughed maniacally. He liked the chase. He was toying with me and he was getting off on it.

I was cornered again with nowhere to run or hide. "You didn't honestly think we didn't know about the dogs, did you?" His walk was casual, but there was menace and power with every step he took. "That charade you and that pansy Edward tried to pull off last year was as translucent as glass. My dear sister and I saw right through it. We knew that your feelings for Edward were feigned. We could smell the change in you. We could smell someone else all over you."

I closed my eyes and sagged against the wall, my legs barely holding my weight. All that pain I had caused Jacob had been for nothing.

"It's a shame, really," Alec continued in that haughty tone of his. "It was rather disconcerting to realize how fickle you were with your affections. I mean, your very life depended on the fact that you would love Edward forever." He paused, gauging my reaction. "Jane thought you were a fool, of course. But, I saw it as proof that you actually had some sense. Well, at least until I found out that you took in strays."

Aro had known all along about the wolves. And yet he left us alone for months. What kind of game was he playing?

Alec's crazed laugh sounded right at my ear. I froze. His blood-red eyes were mere inches from mine, and I hadn't even heard him move. He leaned down, boxing me in between his arms which were braced against the wall. That evil smile of his got wider.

"Ah, I know what you're thinking in that pretty little head of yours," he said. He reached up and gently brushed some stray hairs away from my face. It was a sweet gesture; something a lover would do. But, coming from him just made it sadistic and creepy. His crimson eyes bored into mine telling me with every move he made that he was a violent killer; a monster who took great pride and pleasure in the kill.

"You're just dying to know how we found out about the wolves, aren't you? Curiosity is woman's defining trait. Come on, ask me how and I'll tell you all you want to know." He slithered even closer, pressing his chest into mine and grinding his leg between my thighs. I twisted my head to the side so I wouldn't have to look at him. But, he was everywhere at once; pressing in on me, suffocating me with his presence.

"Ask me, Isabella," he whispered seductively. "Ask me how," he repeated, in a louder, more demanding tone. He clamped one hand on my hip while the other tangled in my hair. My scalp was on fire from his painful tugging. I cried out but he just pulled that much harder.

"Ask me," he whispered menacingly.

"H-how?" I stuttered through the pain. I could feel his fingertips digging into the soft flesh on my hip; each finger creating its own painful bruise.

He gave me a wicked smile, as though he was pleased that his little puppet obeyed him. Then he pulled me close and kissed me. I struggled against his powerful grip, but to no avail. His kiss was rough. I was afraid he would accidentally bite me and initiate the change. I still had so much will to live. I would not let that happen. I struggled futilely, hoping he'd release me.

He broke the kiss and laughed at me when I immediately wiped my lips. I was thoroughly disgusted. I would've slapped him, heedless of how much it would have hurt my hand, if it would've made a difference. But, he would probably enjoy it. He was so sick and demented that he would think it was foreplay.

"You son of a bitch!" I spat.

He looked thoughtful for a moment before responding. "Yes, my mother _was_ a bitch. That's why Jane and I took such pleasure in killing her."

My eyes widened in shock. He was even crazier than I'd thought.

He tapped me on the nose playfully and said, "Hush now, my sweet. Stop with those silly questions of yours. Haven't you ever heard the saying that curiosity killed the cat? The 'how' of it will be a surprise for later. Suffice it to say, we knew that you had broken your covenant with Edward. If you could break your covenant with him, the one you sacrificed your very life for, well it stood to reason that you would break covenant with Aro. And that was something you should've known would come back to…bite you."

He chuckled at his pun. His eyes focused on my lips again and I withered inside. I felt violated from the last time. I could still taste him on my lips. I wanted him to focus on something else and quickly. "Where's Seth?" I blurted out, hoping to distract him from his intent. It seemed to do the trick because Alec pulled back and frowned.

"Do you think this is question and answer time, Isabella?"

I couldn't speak and I wasn't sure if it was for fear of what he would do to me or for the answers he might give me. But, Alec relaxed as if he enjoyed the new direction this was taking. "Okay," he said. "I guess I'm in a talking kind of mood…for the moment. Besides, I'm looking forward to seeing how you react to the news. You may not realize it, but humans give off the most amazing scents when they're terrified or heartbroken. It's quite delicious really."

He dropped his arms and stepped back. I relaxed somewhat grateful that he was no longer in my face. Then he hopped on the bed, his long legs stretched out before him, crossed at the ankles. He crossed his arms behind his head and leaned back against the headboard. "Come on, Isabella," he said, tapping the empty space next to him. "Why don't you lie down and ask away?"

I was not about to join the viper in the snake pit. Not that Alec thought I would. This was all a game to him. I was fully within his power and he was having too much fun making me uncomfortable. I dutifully averted my gaze from the bed. I intended to stay as far away from it as I could. In fact, my eyes kept straying to the bedroom door with thoughts of escape. I knew he would catch me. And if, by some miracle he didn't, some other vampire would. But, what kind of person would I be if I didn't even attempt it? Jacob and the Cullens were probably planning an elaborate rescue, one that would most likely get some if not all of them killed. I had to try to help them.

"I wouldn't try it if I were you," Alec chuckled, clearly reading the intent on my face. "I'd stop you before you even reached the handle on the door." There was no threat in his voice, which is what really sent paralyzing fear down my spine. Alec was simply stating a fact. "Oh well," he continued happily. "Why don't you go for it? Give it a shot. I'm finding you very entertaining."

Before my brain could think better of it, I ran for the door, faster than I thought possible. But Alec moved faster still. No longer lounging comfortably on the bed behind me, he now stood in front of me, blocking my way to the door. I couldn't stop my momentum and I crashed into his granite chest. The impact knocked the wind out of me. He grabbed my shoulders, in what I thought was an attempt to brace me. But, I was sadly mistaken.

"You're the type who has to learn everything the hard way, aren't you, Isabella?" His fingers dug into my shoulders. I winced in pain and that's when he pushed me. It was a small flick of his wrists but it sent me flying across the room like a rag doll. My back hit the opposite wall and then I crashed down to the stone floor.

I nearly blacked out from the pain. It was excruciating. My shoulder hung awkwardly at my side and I knew it had been dislocated. The back of my head felt wet and I knew it was dripping blood. I lay curled on the floor, clutching myself, hoping that he had had enough. I was only human. His fun and games would only last so long with someone as fragile as me.

Alec crouched down in front of me with a callous smile on his face. "I was right," he said. "That _was_ entertaining."

I felt the back of my head. When I pulled my hand away, it was covered in blood. I looked at Alec and cried out in fear, but there was nowhere to go. His nostrils flared and he breathed deeply.

"Don't be so nervous, darling. Your blood is…intoxicating. I'll give you that. But, I drink human blood every day. I'm not likely to be driven mad by bloodlust, even by your exquisite bouquet. Your precious Cullens present more of a threat to you than I ever could; at least in that respect. They deny themselves what their bodies crave. They choose to subsist on inferior animal blood, though it never truly quenches their thirst. A bleeding human is much safer in our company than theirs; until we decide to kill you, of course."

He laughed again, amused by his own humor. Meanwhile, I was lost in a haze of unbearable pain. He looked at me and his smile quickly morphed into a frown. He raised his hand and his knuckle brushed softly down my cheek in an almost loving way. He moved in a flash. He grabbed my shoulder and shoved it back into its socket with a loud crack. I screamed until my throat ached.

He got back to his feet, leaving me nearly delirious in a crumpled heap on the floor. The smile was back on his face when he sat down on the foot of the bed. He leaned back, stretching his arms behind him in a relaxed, casual pose. "Now, where were we?" he asked as if nothing had just happened; as though he hadn't just tossed my frail body against a wall. Alec was a true sociopath.

I staggered slowly to my feet, using the wall for support. Alec didn't lift a finger to help, for which I was grateful. I couldn't bear his hands on me again. Instead, he watched me as though fascinated. I was in pain and a part of me wondered if I wasn't bleeding internally. The impact with the wall had been that hard. But, I didn't want to be in such an obvious position of weakness; sprawled on the floor while Alec looked down at me. So, I stood unsteadily, and I glared at the sadistic bastard who was toying with me.

"Ah," he smiled, excitement gleaming in his eyes. "You've got spirit don't you? It's going to be so fun to watch you break. Now," he clapped his hands together. He gave me an excited grin. "You had some questions for me. Ask them now, Isabella, because I can't promise you I'll be this agreeable again."

I wanted to scream. He had information I needed. But, I'd end up dead before I got anything useful out of him. God, in his sick, morbid way, he actually believed he was being helpful. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I was not going to let him goad me. I didn't know what was going to happen to me and this could very well be the only time I'd get any answers. I strained to find my voice. "Seth," I whispered. I cleared my throat and began again. "Is Seth dead?" It killed me to voice my deepest fear. But, the not knowing was much worse. I braced myself for another physical assault.

Alec smiled. He seemed rather pleased with himself now that I was finally playing along with his sick little game. "Ah, now is Seth the lover or the guard dog?" My jaw clenched as I tried to retain my composure.

His eyes narrowed, focusing on my face like he was trying to read my mind. Then he grinned and said, "Seth must have been the guard dog then. Well, from what my sister said, he wasn't much of a guard. She disposed of him rather quickly. I don't think he put up much of a fight."

My legs gave out and I sank back down to the floor. I kept shaking my head as if that would change the truth. Seth was dead? No, it was impossible. My vision blurred when I thought of Seth's beautiful, sweet face smiling and laughing, filled with so much life and joy. The thought of that life snuffed out too soon, was something I just couldn't bear. And I hated that my last memory of him would be his agony-filled howl.

I wasn't sure how long I sat there and cried. The silence was deafening. I was alone in my pain while Alec watched me like some sick voyeur. I looked up through tear-filled eyes and saw that he was leaning forward, his elbows on his knees. His eyes flashed with an intensity that turned my stomach. "Your pain is exquisite," he marveled. I groaned praying that this nightmare would end. But for the current nightmare to end, they would either have to kill me or change me. I wept even harder for the hopelessness of it all.

I gathered my strength. I was already in hell. I couldn't avoid the truth forever. I needed to know what had happened to Jacob. If he was…no, I couldn't even think the word. But, if Jacob was truly gone, I knew I would give up. Alec would get his wish. He'd see my spirit break. There would be nothing left to fight for.

"Where's Jacob?" I asked with a shaky voice. My heart told me that I would know if Jacob were dead or not. We were so connected. We were soul mates. My gut told me that I would feel it before I knew it. But, after what Alec said about Seth being… Well, that changed things. I needed to know the answer, even if it would mean the end of my life as I knew it.

"So, that pet of yours is named Jacob. How biblical."

"Shut…up," I spit through clenched teeth.

He cocked his head to the side. "Okay, now I'm confused. Do you want me to shut up, or do you want me to tell you about your precious Jacob?"

"I want you to fucking die!" I growled.

Alec licked his lips and laughed. "Oh Isabella, as I said, you are very entertaining. But, I don't know if I want to tell you about him just yet. I'd like to keep it a surprise, especially since your torment is so," he paused inhaling deeply, "tantalizing."

I tried to keep my anger in check hoping to appease him. "Please…please tell me if he's okay. I…I need to know." When it came to Jacob, I wasn't above begging.

He left the bed and walked towards me, all predatory grace. "I think you should be more worried about yourself, Isabella. You're thousands of miles away from home, family and friends. You have no one. You have nothing. All you have is me."

He crowded me, his body taking up the space around me. "Why are you torturing me?" I cried out in frustration. "If you're going to kill me, just do it already!"

He curled his finger under my chin and I shuddered. He tilted my head up, forcing me to stare into his soulless eyes. "I'm not going to kill you, Isabella. No, what we have planned for you is so much better than death."

"Please," I cried. "Why are you doing this to me? What did I ever do to you?"

"What did you do? Are you really that dense?" His eyes flashed angrily. "You came to this stronghold and vowed in front of Aro, Caius, Marcus and almost the entire Volturi Guard, that you would become a vampire. I was there when you swore it. You gave your life for Edward's. And yet, here you stand, very much alive. And poor, pathetic, virginal Edward is nowhere in sight. You broke a vow, upon penalty of death. You may think that the naivety of youth is an excuse. But we don't. We will not be made to look like fools. You and all that you hold dear will suffer the consequences."

"Fine," I yelled, "I messed up. I'm the one who broke my vow. But, you have me. Please leave everyone else alone. You have me."

Alec's nostrils flared and a deep growl rolled out from his chest. He gripped my hips tightly in his hands and pulled the lower half of my body towards his. I could feel his arousal pressed against my belly and it took all my power to swallow the bile that rose up in my throat.

"That's right," Alec whispered in my ear. I pushed against his chest with all my might, but he just kept getting closer. "I _do_ have you." His eyes lingered on my lips. He leaned in and I twisted and turned, trying to loosen his grip on my body. When that didn't work I beat against his chest and turned my face away in disgust. Alec chuckled darkly and placed a wet kiss at my throat. And then he released me, letting me stumble back so that I had to brace myself against the wall.

"You still don't get it," he said. "You may have broken your vow, but the Cullens conspired against us. Although why they would when you abandoned their Edward is beyond me. But, even after you took that foul, rabid dog between your legs, they stayed by you; they tried to hide you from us. They tried to hide the existence of those wolves from us."

"Don't get me wrong. Aro knows they're not Children of the Moon. No, they're something altogether different. But, our little source has told us that they're bred to destroy vampires. And yet, the Cullens ally themselves with these vampire killers. Once we found out about these wolves, it didn't take a genius to figure out that they were the reason you so easily defeated that newborn army last year. Jane and I didn't think your precious Cullens could've done it themselves. They shouldn't have been able to. And yet, they emerged victorious."

Alec had begun to pace in front of me, ranting and raving with a crazed, fevered look in his eyes. "Your precious Cullens already represented a threat to Aro's power. But the moment they allied themselves with those wolves, and sought to play games regarding your fate, they became expendable. And Aro had his excuse to destroy them."

He stopped pacing and stood, towering over me. His eyes were wild. "I just wish they could be around long enough to see what we make of you. You're going to be magnificent."

I shook my head weakly, the fight going out of me. "Please, what do you want from me? I don't understand. I broke the rules, I get that. So, just punish me and be done with it. I don't understand what you could have possibly planned for me. Please…"

Alec closed his eyes and inhaled deeply before boring those red eyes of his into mine. He cocked his head to the side in confusion and then he started to laugh maniacally. "I can't believe you don't know." He doubled over in laughter. "Oh, this is priceless. You still have no idea what you are."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I can't believe Carlisle hasn't figured it out yet. And here Aro thinks so highly of him." He grinned, "He thinks highly of him, but that doesn't mean he's not going to kill him. Make no mistake about that."

Contrary to what Alec thought, I had no illusions that anyone I loved was safe. My heart was broken because of Seth. Every moment of my captivity was filled with fear for Jacob. And the thought of Carlisle, so kind and compassionate, being murdered by Aro, well it was just too much.

"You're a valuable asset to us, Isabella. Aro and Edward can't read your mind, and Jane's powers don't affect you. That is a rare gift. And those gifts are only intensified when you become a vampire."

"I know this already," I snarled. "What I don't know is how this supposed gift is going to make me so valuable to you."

"Fine," Alec snapped, pursing his lips together. Apparently he was losing patience with me. "You're a shield. Once you become a vampire, we'll teach you to develop your gift. Then Aro will be able to use you to nullify other vampires' powers. Your addition to the family will make us invincible. And the two of us together will be a powerful force beyond compare."

My eyes widened and my stomach dropped. Alec noticed and chuckled darkly. "Oh, does that shock you?" He leaned in again, caging me between his arms. "I already told you. You're _mine_. I knew I wanted you from the moment I first saw you. I knew Edward wasn't going to be man enough for you. I guess I wasn't surprised that you ran off with that dog of yours." His nostrils flared and his eyes raked up and down my body. "But, I'm going to thoroughly enjoy erasing that unworthy mutt from your mind and your body."

He moved in closer. I could feel the coolness of his body as he pressed into me. The thought of "being" with Alec made me want to vomit. And I knew I wouldn't have any choice in the matter. Alec was a monster. It's not like he was above forcing me. There was nothing and no one to stop him from taking me now, as a human, weak and fragile.

"I can't stop you from doing anything to me now," I said through gritted teeth. I mustered all the strength left in me. "Once I'm a newborn, I'll be _stronger_ than you. If you touch me now, I will tear you apart and burn the pieces. That's a promise."

My hatred lent me strength and resolve I didn't know I had. Seth was gone. I didn't know whether or not Jacob was alive. And this blood-sucking monster was planning on taking me into his bed; on violating me in the most intimate way. He wasn't asking. He was about to take everything away from me. The least I could do was bring him down in retaliation. Death would no longer scare me.

Alec growled deep in his chest. "That's what I love about you," he said. "You're a feisty one."

"Didn't you hear me?" I cried.

"Oh, I heard your empty threat. But, what you don't understand is that you won't get a chance to kill me, or any one of us for that matter. You see, as soon as Aro gives me the go ahead, I'm going to bite into that delicate flesh of yours. For three days you're going to writhe and scream in constant, agonizing pain. And the moment your heart stops, you're going to wake up with an insatiable bloodlust. You won't be able to focus on anything other than getting blood. Only, I'm going to make sure you don't get it. I'm going to lock you away until you're ready to go mad with hunger. And then comes the best part."

He held my face firmly in his hands. I could feel his cold, sweet breath on my skin. "When you are beyond reason with hunger, I'm going to give you your mother; your father. And you're going to drink them dry while I watch. That ought to break that beautiful spirit of yours, huh?"

I didn't even try to fight the new onslaught of tears. I knew the Volturi were cruel. But I never realized just how deep that cruelty went. They would not only destroy all my future hopes and dreams, but they would force me to murder my own parents.

"I hate you," I whispered

His thumb brushed gently over my lower lip. "I know you do, sweetheart. But that's not going to stop you from begging me to fulfill…_all_ of your needs."

"He's going to kill you," I said.

"Who, your mutt?" Alec scoffed. "As if he'd even want you after what I'm planning on doing to you."

I swallowed hard, trying to ignore that image. I looked him straight in the eyes and said with as much conviction as I could muster, "He's going to kill you and I'm going to dance in your ashes."

Alec's eyes narrowed and for once, he wasn't smiling. He slapped me so hard across the face that I flew towards the bed, landing in a heap on the mattress. The hit was so hard that it left my ears ringing. My vision went dark. I may have even passed out for a moment, I wasn't sure. The next thing I knew, the mattress sank under the weight of Alec's body as he crawled up the bed, pinning my wrists above my head with one hand. I screamed, my injured shoulder straining in its socket. His other hand reached for my shirt. He pulled at the thin material and easily ripped it down the front, opening it to my stomach. His eyes devoured my exposed skin hungrily. And then he leaned in and flattened his tongue against my cheek and licked me. When his tongue pulled away, it was covered in my blood.

I struggled against his hold, trying to kick or push him off of me. He laughed and said, "Oh, yeah, just like that. Keep wiggling."

I stilled immediately and Alec actually frowned. He pried my legs apart and settled his hips between them. My head throbbed. I tried to breathe deeply to calm myself. I wasn't done fighting, but I needed to take a breather. My skin felt like it was crawling. I felt dirty, unclean with him touching me so intimately. With his free hand he grabbed my face, his fingers squeezing my cheeks tightly. His eyes were crazed.

"I was going to save this bit of information for later. But, your insolence is…well, it's kind of pissing me off. Now, I want you to listen up, because I'm only going to say this once. Your little lapdog isn't coming for you. Jane's leading the entire Volturi Guard to Forks. Your wolves are outnumbered. And your precious Cullens won't be able to help them because they've been summoned here. You see, they're under the misapprehension that they still have a chance to save you. But, I'm going to turn you before their very eyes, and they're going to die for their betrayal. Too bad you'll be writhing in pain from the transition that you won't see it."

Oh God, I thought. Divide and conquer. This was exactly what Jacob and Carlisle had planned all along. Only, none of us thought I would need to be part of the equation, let alone captured by the Volturi. Jacob and the wolves would be destroyed once they found out about Seth. And Jacob wouldn't be in his right mind once he found out I'd been taken. I didn't think the pack would be prepared for an attack so soon, especially when they had planned to launch their own in a month's time. All that training would go to waste because Jacob wouldn't have the extra wolves as back-up.

And if Jane was leading them, their chances of survival were reduced even more. She was a powerful adversary on her own with just her powers. But, combine that with fifty, well trained, human-drinking vampires, she would be unstoppable. Without the Cullens there to help, they would be grossly outnumbered.

My body shook, wracked with sobs. I cried for Seth, who died too young. I cried for my parents who would never see their only child get married or see their grandchildren. I cried for all my family and friends who were right at this very moment fighting for their lives.

"Yes, that's it, Isabella. Cry for me. Jane has made her dearest brother a promise. She's going to personally deliver your mutt's head on a platter. In fact, she promised she'd let me know the moment she ripped his head from his body. Maybe I'll have it mounted as a present to my new mate. How does that sound?"

Before I could even process everything he'd said his cell phone went off. "Ah, that's Jane now." He didn't even glance at his phone, just turned it off. "But, I can get all the gruesome details later. Your dog is dead. And now it's time you learned who you belong to."

Dead. That was the last word I heard before everything went dark. I was trapped on the brink of consciousness. My body shut down, protecting my heart and mind from the unbearable reality. Jacob was dead and my hope had died with him. Alec loomed over me, but I was numb. I had no fight left. My body went lax.

Alec must have sensed the moment when I gave up, because he started to kiss me, planting rough, bruising kisses down my neck. My head fell to the side, my eyes wide open, but unseeing. A single tear fell from my eye, down the side of my face onto the mattress below. Alec's hands moved under my shirt, but I didn't feel a thing. He could have my body. There was nothing I could do to stop him.

But none of that mattered. My mind was already broken and my soul had been damaged beyond repair. My body remained, but I was no longer there.

**A/N: So, there it is. We have about 4 chapters total left, including the Epilogue. I won't make any promises, because you know how long it takes for me to update. But, I can just hope you enjoyed this chapter enough to think that the wait is worth it. Leave me a review. Let me know what you think.**

**I also would like to say a special thank you to my great friend Neha. She offers such wonderful feedback and helps keep me focused on writing this story. You're the best.**


	45. Chapter 45

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do not.**

**A/N: I can't thank all of you enough for your continued support of my story. I know you have to deal with long delays between updates. But, the fact that you keep reading and reviewing is much appreciated. I'd especially like to thank the following anonymous reviewers: pooks79, megan39, EmilyJane, Kessiea, Angel, blinj0, Anony, Anonymous, Lexi, Guest, Team Jacob (Guest), linda, Jacoblover.**

** CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE**

**JPOV:**

_I prowled the dark hallways as an apex predator, bred for the sole purpose of killing bloodsuckers. I was in their stronghold, on their turf. I had finally done what I'd wanted to do for ages. I had brought the fight to them. I moved through corridor after corridor and down several levels; down into the heart of the fortress. I left death, destruction and flames in my wake. I was going to raze this place to the fucking ground._

_They'd pushed me too far. There was no going back until every last one of them was dead. They took her from me. They wouldn't live to see another day._

_With every step I took, I felt her. She was so close I could smell her. She was terrified. But more than that, her scent was tainted with an all-consuming, agonizing grief; so potent that it threatened to bring me to my knees. She needed me. Her body and soul cried out for me and I was dying to answer. It was my job to answer her call. Every fiber of my being was attuned to her. It went against everything I was to ignore the pull. I couldn't go to her. That wasn't part of the plan._

_I growled deep in my chest; the sound echoing in the empty corridor. The plan. The fucking plan. I hated it. It went against everything I was. I had to fight nature and instinct to comply. I wanted her in my arms, where I'd know she'd be safe. But, I didn't have that luxury. The only way to save her was to stick to the plan. _

_I hated myself for leaving her. She had wanted to come home with me. She wanted to come home. I should've listened. I thought she'd be safer where she was. I couldn't have been more wrong. She was hurting and it was my fault. My resolve hardened. For every hurt, every scratch or bruise she suffered, I would make them pay with their pathetic lives. Vengeance was waiting. _

_My paws slapped against the cold stone floor. Thoughts of her clouded my mind. She had been taken right out from under me. I'd failed her. I'd let her down._

_I heard footsteps around the corner and my adrenaline kicked in. I closed my eyes a moment to savor the anticipation. Whoever or whatever came down that hallway was going to die. I was going to kill it, leaving ashes and smoke as the only proof I was here. That was the plan. And I was more than happy to fulfill my end of the bargain._

_A leech in a red cloak bounded towards me, careless within the presumed safety of his fortress. I bared my teeth and growled in warning. He stopped dead in his tracks; red eyes opened wide in disbelief. Yeah, that's how they all looked before I tore them apart. He was no different from the rest._

_He gathered his senses, crouched low and ran at me. I didn't have time to relish the kill. She needed me. He was just one more obstacle standing in my way. And that was a very dangerous place for him to be._

_I made as though I was bracing for the impact, when in fact I was getting ready to spring. Wait for it, I thought. Wait for it. At the last second, right before we would've collided, I sprang, lunging right for his throat. _

_It was over in a matter of seconds. I had his throat trapped between my teeth one second and his head rolled to the ground the next. His red eyes stared up at me, unblinking and unseeing. I phased quickly to get the lighter I'd tied to my ankle. I lit him up, uncaring of the flames that licked the wooden walls. That was part of the plan anyway. I was there to kill and burn every last one of them. And watching their fortress go down in flames along with them was just gravy. _

_I phased back to my wolf and stalked down the corridor; following the path the burning leech had taken. They kept leading me down, down, closer to the very heart of the compound. The upper levels were already on fire. The walls and floors above me shook and wood and stone crumbled down. The place was falling to ruins around me. Normally, I would've been happy or excited. But, I couldn't care less. I kept moving, looking for my next victim._

_Dozens of vampires had already met with my wrath and none of them had survived to tell the tale. The leeches were in a sinking ship and they had no idea the ship was on fire. Ashes and smoke. That's all that I'd left behind, and that was all that would remain. I moved deeper and deeper into the bowels of this hateful place. Her scent grew stronger and my body ached to be with her. I felt her anguish and I wanted to howl. I wanted to take her pain away._

_But, that wasn't part of the plan. I was scared that if I didn't stick to the plan, there might not be anything left of her to save. And if that happened, the best I'd be able to do for her would be to lie down and die beside her. No, I shook my head fiercely. That wasn't an option. I was a hunter; a trained killer._

_Three more vampires rounded the corner. I knew without a doubt that they would die just like the rest. They took her away from me. They _have_ to die. Her soul cried out to mine. They took her away from me. They're all going to burn. _

_Hold on Bella. I'm coming._

**BPOV:**

I lay there on the bed, completely motionless. Alec grinded away above me making horrible, animalistic noises. I refused to meet his eyes. My mind folded in on itself. Reality was unbearable. So, I retreated within the safety of my own mind. My head fell to the side and my eyes focused on a colorful tapestry mounted to the wall. It was beautiful and intricately woven. I wondered who might have hand-stitched it hundreds of years ago. Did the maker know then that his creation would be the last thing of beauty a woman would see before her very humanity was stripped from her?

I ignored the cold hands that pawed and groped me and focused instead on the scene depicted in such fine detail. It was an image of a young girl in a meadow. A knight in shimmering armor was leaning down from his white horse, having just offered the beautiful maiden a flower. Her eyes were closed and the flower was pressed to her nose. It was a beautiful, peaceful scene; so at odds with the violence and brutality on display in the room.

I hardly felt Alec's hands on my body anymore. I was numb. I looked again at the beautiful young woman and wondered what she must be thinking. I wondered if after that first bloom of love, if everything had turned sour for her. I wondered if the young maiden knew that the world wasn't filled with white knights waiting to slay her dragons. I wondered if she knew that one choice, one simple choice, could mark her for death; that the repercussions of those choices could haunt her days and nights until her body, mind and soul were laid bare and she was utterly and perfectly destroyed.

The sound of a zipper sliding down broke through my mental shields. I panicked. I wanted to go back. I wanted to throw myself back into the scene with the maiden and the knight, where life was so simple and pure. The lovers were frozen in time; within one perfect moment. Their lives would never get any better, but they certainly wouldn't get any worse. I wanted to forget. But, it was too late. My fear had brought me back to reality. Alec held my thighs apart in a bruising grip. I closed my eyes, expecting the worst. A small voice in my head whispered, _"It will only hurt for a little bit." _But I was done lying to myself. My entire body tensed, bracing for the violent invasion.

"Is this a private party, or can anyone else join in?"

My eyes blinked open and I saw Felix leaning casually against the doorframe. He leered at me, but other than that, he almost looked bored.

"Fuck off!" Alec snapped. "I'm in the middle of something here."

"Oh, I can see that." He craned his neck to get a better view. "Oh yeah, I can see that."

Alec snarled and grabbed the sides of my shirt in a feeble attempt to cover me. Not that Felix hadn't gotten an eyeful already. He snarled at Felix, "Mine!" he said.

Felix chuckled, holding his hands up in surrender. "Hey, I'm not arguing with you. But, she's not even moving. Where's the fun in that? I think you broke her."

"What I do with Isabella is my business and mine alone! Now, I'd suggest you leave so that I can get back to it."

Alec released me and in a flash he was off the bed and in Felix's face. I clutched my torn shirt to my chest and scrambled backwards on the bed until my back hit the headboard. I crouched there, grateful for my reprieve, but knowing it wouldn't last long.

I watched the two vampires posture and snarl at each other. I hoped and prayed that they would kill each other and save me the trouble. But Felix just laughed in Alec's face. "Relax," he said. "I'm not here to fight with you. I came because Aro wants us all to meet in the throne room." He then looked at me and smirked. "It's time," he said.

My heart almost stopped in my chest. Felix could only mean one thing; they were going to turn me into a vampire; a fate worse than death. Rape, both violent and brutal was at least survivable. A part of me would be forever broken. But, at least I would have the peaceful sleep of death to look forward to; where my soul could once again be made whole. But, they were going to make me a vampire. And my grief, my shame and humiliation would be eternal. I just couldn't cope with that. I shook my head and closed my eyes. Jacob was gone. It didn't matter what they did. I didn't think I had any tears left. But they fell anyway.

"Oh God," Alec whined, throwing a scathing glare at Felix. "Now you've got her crying again."

Felix chuckled. "It's better than the silent mannequin you were working with when I came in. She was a limp fish. She wasn't even screaming. Where's the fun in that?"

"She would've been screaming eventually," Alec replied confidently.

"I'll tell Aro you'll be with us shortly," Felix said. He closed the door leaving me alone again with Alec.

Alec stalked over to the bed. He was shirtless and his opened pants hung low on his hips. He leered at me and then slowly raised his zipper. His eyes bored into mine and I looked away.

"Well," he said. "It looks like we're going to have to put a lid on those activities for now. Aro has requested our presence. And we don't want to disappoint him, now do we?"

I wanted to scream and yell. I had so much I wanted to say to him. But, I held my tongue. I didn't want to provoke him further. I was in horrible pain. My lip had been split open and my shoulder ached terribly. Alec's eyes promised even more pain to come. But, nothing could compare to the pain of losing Jacob. He was gone. I felt like my soul had been severed from my body, leaving nothing but a lifeless husk behind.

Alec grabbed my face in his hand and squeezed roughly. His fingers pressed against my left cheek bone while his thumb dug into the soft skin under my jaw. As numb as I was, I couldn't help but react to the instantaneous pain. At any moment, his stone fingers could pierce through my soft flesh and grind my bones to dust. I whimpered, clawing and his vise-like grip. "I was speaking to you, Isabella. You know, I don't like this disrespect you're displaying."

He squeezed harder and it felt like his fingers were boring into my skin. White hot sparks of agony spread out over my face. I whimpered again, but I refused to beg. That's what he wanted. Instead, I glared at him, channeling all my hatred and despair.

He cocked his head to the side, watching me with renewed interest. Then he tossed his head back and laughed; his grip never loosening. Lightening fast, his face lost all its mirth and his eyes fixed on mine. He thrust his free hand in my hair and pulled me close so that we were nose to nose.

"Ah, and here I thought I'd killed that beautiful spirit." His grip tightened, bending my neck back at a painful angle. This time I couldn't help but cry out. "Perhaps I'll have my way with you while you're burning. You're very skin will be on fire and you'll be in utter and complete misery. And all the while, I'll be using your delectable body as I please. At least that way I can guarantee to hear those beautiful screams. Yes," he nodded, releasing me. "Not all is lost."

Alec donned his shirt, did up the buttons and tucked it into his pants. He ran his hands through his hair, combing it back into place. When he was satisfied with his appearance he said, "Let's get this over with. You have an audience to attend."

Alec led me down several stone corridors. His arm was wrapped around my waist, pressing me closely to his side. His fingers dug possessively into the flesh of my hip. The way he sauntered through the halls made him look like he was just going for a stroll. He walked with his head held high and a mile wide smile on his face.

My bare feet slapped against the smooth floor as we walked. I was so cold. I clutched my torn shirt to my body, looking for some kind of coverage and protection. The very walls were leeching the warmth from my bones. Alec's close proximity set my teeth to chattering. I cringed with every step and tried to pull away. But, he just held me that much harder. I was his. I was his prize and there was nothing I could do about it.

"Smile, Isabella," he said. "You look like someone died or something."

My step faltered and his grip tightened, urging me forward. I closed my eyes, and breathed deeply. "Oh, that's right," he whispered. "Someone did die." He laughed maniacally before attempting to hold a straight face. "What, too soon?" he asked.

He laughed again, thoroughly amused with himself. I tried to ignore him. I tried to find that sanctuary within my own mind; that place I could go to and shut out this nightmare. But nothing worked. I saw visions of Seth and Jacob being torn apart and mutilated. And always, my mind wandered back to the feel of Alec's dead hands in the most intimate of places. I was defiled; violated and dirty. No, the nightmare wasn't going away. I couldn't hide from it. I would find no relief from my anguish.

All too soon we came to a stop. We stood before giant wooden doors flanked by torches set into the wall. This was the throne room. I shivered remembering all I had seen the last time I had been here. All those innocent people; women and children led to their deaths by Heidi. It had been horrible. But, a part of me envied them now. At least they had died; eventually escaping the pain. That would not be my fate.

I looked back up at the doors and quickly took in my surroundings. Alec had led me there by a different way. There was no modern office with Gianna manning a reception desk. There was no reason to keep up any pretense here. They weren't leading poor, unsuspecting tourists through this door. No, if you were being led through this door, you knew you were meeting your doom. Dread sank in. There was nothing for it. Jacob was gone. I was going to be turned into a vampire. My body and mind were going to be violated. The only thing I had to look forward to was the superhuman strength guaranteed by the change. Despite what Alec thought, I would fight him. I would fight the bloodlust and I would kill him. Then I would walk into the fire and end it all.

Determined, I took a step towards the door, reaching for the handle. "Eager, aren't we?" Alec chuckled. He moved in front of me and opened the doors, guiding me inside. What I saw nearly brought me to my knees.

**LEAH'S POV: **

I was pacing and probably driving everyone crazy. Like I gave a fuck. That's why I hadn't phased yet. Our pack was in position, all in wolf-form. But I didn't want anyone else inside my head. It was crowded enough with just me. Besides, we all knew exactly what to do and what was expected of us. I needed this time to myself. It was the calm before the storm.

It had been a harrowing twenty four hours; leeches on our land, Jacob almost losing his shit, Seth attacked and left for dead and Bella taken by the Volturi. It was more than one person could take.

I was worried about Jacob. I saw the look in his eyes when he killed those leeches. He was a wild animal. It's like he had gone feral; wild and out of control and there was no reaching the civilized man he used to be. He had been crazed. No, crazed was an understatement. That sweet, most times annoying guy was gone and a monster, for lack of a better word, was left in his place. The look in his eyes told me that Jacob would do anything, _anything_ to get Bella back. And I for one was not about to stand in his way.

At least Seth was back. My relief at his return was quickly eclipsed by anger and frustration when he demanded that he fight in the battle. He had almost died; nearly bled to death. Esme said that if she hadn't gotten to him when she did, he might not have made it at all.

They came home shortly before midnight. When he was told the battle would begin at dawn, he said no one would stop him from fighting. Though Sam was Alpha in Jacob's place, he didn't possess the strength of the Alpha command anymore. Seth was stubborn. Not even I could convince him to stay home and I'm a fucking scary bitch. At least we came to a compromise. He agreed to guard our rear with Esme in case any of the vamps got through our line and made their way further onto the Rez.

Of course, the vamps would be shit out of luck if they tried that. Billy was clever. He had called an emergency Council meeting and made it mandatory for all members of the tribe to attend. The time for secrecy was over. He explained as briefly as he could about the wolves and the vampires and told our people that they all had to get the hell out of dodge before the world went pear-shaped on them.

Oddly enough, the residents of La Push didn't need much convincing. Apparently, they all took our tribal history to heart. Though the pack had always been sworn to secrecy, everyone seemed to know about the wolves and about the Cullens especially. And here we thought we were being all stealthy. I guess not. Either way, it was a relief to know that the whole Rez had been evacuated and Charlie was standing by to evacuate Forks if it got to that point. I was going to make sure that it didn't.

I hadn't slept in…well; I couldn't remember how long it'd been. Aside from my commitments to the pack, I had had Jack to think about. God that man is stubborn. He wanted to help. He didn't want to feel useless. We fought. I hated every minute of it, but I couldn't let him win. I wouldn't let him risk his life. After everything we'd been through with Patrick, I needed Jack more than anything. And I needed to know that he was safe. We finally reached a compromise. He helped Billy, my mom and the council members evacuate the Rez and I promised to kick some major ass and rock his world when I got home.

I glanced behind me. Esme and Seth were on high alert covering the ground behind our pack. I was confident that they would stop any vampire who got past us, because frankly, we weren't going to let any vampire get past us. Seth was in the safest position possible, assuming he followed orders and stayed put. I threatened him with a fate worse than death if he left his post and made me worry about him once the battle got underway. I could only hope that Seth still feared his big sister enough to be smart.

I looked to my right and saw Emmett and Rosalie standing perfectly still, watching the forest in calm anticipation. They weren't breathing or blinking. They weren't even trying to pass as human. It was freaky. I still couldn't believe we were fighting alongside leeches. But, desperate times call for desperate measures. We could and would use every advantage we had. I wanted my friends home and I wanted my people safe. This battle couldn't be over soon enough.

Our lives, our families and our homes had all been threatened. And The Volturi were going to answer for it. I couldn't do anything about Bella. And God knows I was worried sick about her. But I had complete faith in Jacob. If anyone could bring her home, it was him. So, I focused on the task at hand.

The forest was eerily quiet. There were no birds chirping, no rustling in the underbrush to indicate that any other animals were out and about. It was as if they knew that something bad was coming. Hell, even I could feel it. The electricity in the air had the hair on my arms standing on end. The waiting was killing me. We were all on pins and needles, just waiting for the axe to drop. I needed violence. I needed to sink my teeth into granite flesh. I needed an end to this whole mess.

The sky began to lighten and with the dawn would come our ultimate victory or our doom. It was time. I stripped and phased and got into position.

"_Nice of you to join us_," Paul said.

"_Shut the fuck up, Paul!_" Everyone shouted in unison. I smiled. And so we waited.

We felt them before we saw them. The sun peaked out above the horizon and with it came the leeches. They were all clad in blood-red robes. The arrogant bastards obviously weren't concerned about stealth. They made no sound as they walked through the forest, but their stench was overwhelming. This was it. The storm was about to break.

I got into position, flanking Sam on his left. We watched in silence as Jane brought the Volturi within feet of us. She looked bored, as though the nine of us would pose no challenge to the horde of fifty Guards behind her.

"What, so few?" she asked snidely. "Well, this'll hardly be any fun at all."

Seeing as how we were all in wolf form, none of us commented. Of course, we wouldn't have anyway.

"What a pity," she said. "I don't even feel like wasting my energy on you mongrels." She stepped back through her Guards and said, "Have at 'em boys."

And that's when all hell broke loose. The front line of the Volturi advanced towards us. We braced for the impact. They thought this was going to be quick and easy. Well, we had other plans. Sam gave the order and the ground began to rumble beneath our paws.

The vamps froze, sending confused looks towards their bewildered leader. The cocky smile faded from Jane's face as the rumble grew and the earth shook with the sound of heavy paws stamping through the forest.

Seconds later, our trap sprang open. Nearly forty wolves came running in from the north, west and east, trapping the vampires in the middle with nowhere to go. They were surrounded by snarling, angry wolves. The Volturi came to our home thinking they would annihilate us with their entire guard. But, as I stared Jane down, I could see doubt springing in her eyes. We were evenly matched in terms of numbers. But they grossly underestimated our strength if they thought equal numbers would have any bearing on this fight. Oh yeah, I thought to myself. These vamps are all going to die.

And then the fight began. Granite bodies barreled into fur and flesh. Teeth were bared, claws were extended. The sounds of battle were deafening.

The leeches were surrounded. Our numbers may have been equal, but we all knew that they were easily outmanned. They were fighting on orders; to annihilate a nuisance. We were fighting for our lives and our homes. We were driven by feelings and desires these dead corpses couldn't even comprehend.

Our orders were to bite, claw and tear the vampires apart and quickly move onto the next one. We had no time to burn the pieces in the heat of battle. If we did our job right, and separated the pieces far enough, then we wouldn't have to worry about burning the bodies until the battle was done. And that's just what we did.

Emmett and Rosalie were in the thick of things. I saw the blond bitch battling with a guard, clawing with her nails and roaring with fury. Her eyes were crazed. She tore her vampire apart with her hands and her teeth. She didn't even pause to enjoy the kill. She simply moved onto the next one.

Damn, I thought. What was I feeling? Was that…was that _respect_; for a leech?

I had no time to think of what that might mean because I was too focused on the kill. All the wolves were occupied. I heard grunts and groans of pain. Some wolves were writhing on the ground, bleeding from open wounds. When one went down, two other wolves took position over him; fighting and protecting their brother form further harm until they could heal and rejoin the fray.

The same couldn't be said for the vampires. There was no loyalty or brotherly love between them. If one was overpowered, he was left behind by the heartless leeches. Survival of the fittest and all that. That would be their undoing, I thought.

"Leah, get down!"

I didn't even think. I just dropped to my belly. A second later something large came swinging out over my head. There was a thunderous sound as wood exploded into thousands of tiny shards and splinters before raining down and coating my fur. At the same time, four vampires went flying in various directions.

Emmett ran up to me, appraised me with his eyes. Once he saw that I was alright, he patted me on the head and said, "Good doggy." Then he ran off after the stunned vampires.

What the…? Emmett had just uprooted a freaking red wood and used it as a baseball bat! That was…that was BAD ASS! I guessed I could let that whole "good doggy" bullshit slide. I shook my head and focused. I'd compliment Emmett on his ingenuity later. There were still more vamps to kill.

I could see through the eyes of my pack mates. They were driving through the lines of vampires leaving nothing but torn limbs and carnage in their wake. And all the while, Jane just stood there behind her army looking shocked and dare I say, frightened?

I moved towards her, tearing through anything that stood in my way. The bitch was mine. It was only fair; a bitch should be the one to take out a bitch. She was just twenty feet away; then fifteen. I was closing in on her. But just as I was getting ready to lunge at her, Jane steadied herself. Her red eyes were filled with hatred, but they weren't focused on me. In fact, she didn't even see me.

She was focused on Brady who chose that exact moment to strike. He was already mid-air in an impressive lunge when he fell to the ground, writhing in agony. The entire pack froze, as the pain washed through Brady's body and spread vicariously through ours. I cowered and whimpered under the brutal onslaught. But, even then I knew it was merely a reflection of the true agony he was feeling. Brady was writhing and howling on the forest floor.

The pain must have forced him to phase because the next thing I knew, Brady was lying on the ground, naked and in the fetal position, clutching his head in his hands.

Jane laughed and I felt wave after wave of intense agony flow through Brady. The diluted amount that hit me was enough to take my breath away and bring me to the ground. I couldn't even imagine what it was actually like for Brady.

Brady was helpless as long as Jane focused her abilities on him. I didn't know if she could actually kill with her powers, but I wasn't going to wait around and find out. Brady was just a kid. He was Seth's age; too young to have to be dealing with this shit. I looked out for him and I would be damned if this bitch made him suffer anymore.

I shook off the shadow of pain that I felt through the pack link and lunged. Jane didn't even see me coming. I knocked her to the ground, biting and clawing on the way down. She released Brady from her hold and set her sights on me. Bring it, bitch, I thought as the first tremors of pain sliced through my head. But, I was not going to let her take me out that easily. I pushed through the pain and dodged her furious blows as I went for her neck.

Her fist slammed into me like an out of control freight train. I flew thirty feet into the air until a tree broke my fall. I fell to the ground, but landed on all fours. I was hurt, a couple of broken ribs and possibly a twisted leg, but I wasn't down for the count. I shook my head and waited for the dizziness to fade so that my eyes could focus. When I got another look at the scene, it felt as though I was locked in a nightmare.

"_Noooooooo!" _I screamed in my mind. Jane was standing over Brady, her arm out-stretched towards him. I sprang to action just as Rosalie bull-rushed Jane and sent her to the ground.

"Get your hands off of him," she cried. She looked like a mama bear protecting her cub. They grappled for a bit until another vampire came up from behind and tossed Rosalie deeper into the forest. Emmett came running after them and disappeared into the cover of the trees.

Jane got to her feet and advanced towards Brady again.

"_Oh no you don't, bitch!"_

I had been running full force since Rosalie's attack and I was only a few feet from Jane. I growled and lunged at her. My teeth landed on her throat before my body collided with hers. I pinned her down to the ground with my paws. She looked up in surprise.

My teeth clamped down and I shook my head furiously, sawing through granite flesh. A second later, her head rolled to the side with a look of utter disbelief on her face. I tore her limbs from her body so that she wouldn't be able to put herself back together before we had a chance to burn her.

I howled in triumph. I was ready to take on the rest of the vampires by myself. I couldn't help the endless loop of "_Ding dong the witch is dead_," that started playing in my head. A few other wolves had picked up the chant when our world suddenly turned upside down.

Brady made a gurgling noise and anguish and despair flooded through the pack connection. I checked on Jane. She was still in pieces, so I knew she wasn't hurting him anymore. Plus, Brady wasn't writhing in pain like he was before.

I took a closer look and whined and whimpered, unable to believe what I was seeing. Brady's throat had been cut so deeply that his head was nearly severed from his body. Jane…Jane had cut him after she'd tossed me. I'd left him exposed; unprotected! Brady's eyes searched mine. Oh God, he was still alive.

I phased back and cradled his body in my arms. I held his hand and squeezed it, letting him know I was there with him. We're werewolves. We heal quickly. But, Brady's wound didn't show any signs of putting itself back together. He lay in a pool of his own blood.

"I'm here, Brady," I said. "You just stick with me."

When I looked down again his eyes were open and empty, staring up at the sky.

My heart turned to ice. Sam, Paul and Jared let out soul-piercing howls. They'd seen Brady's condition before I'd phased. No! No, no, no…this could not be happening. The pack approached slowly, disbelieving looks on their faces. Sam and Jared used their muzzles to nudge Brady, but it was no use. Brady remained still…lifeless. He was gone.

I closed Brady's eyes and laid his body down gently. Then my vision went red. I blocked off every emotion but hate. Without a second thought, I phased and threw myself headlong into a large group of the meanest looking vampires of the guard. I ignored the collective sorrow and grief pouring out from my brothers. The only thing I focused on was death. I repeated the word over and over again. It was my mantra; my reason for living. I was mindless of anything and everything other than the complete destruction of my enemy. Nothing else mattered.

**BPOV:**

I stumbled and nearly fell to my knees. I would have too if Alec hadn't grabbed me around the waist. The Cullens were there. My erstwhile family was there to witness my utter shame and humiliation.

I clutched at Jacob's shirt, pulling the torn fragments tighter to my body. I didn't want to look, but I knew that obscene amounts of flesh were already on display. I even tried to comb through my tangled hair with my fingers. I didn't want them to see me like that.

Carlisle's eyes were filled with compassion and that alone was almost too much to bear. I felt dirty; violated and unworthy. I didn't deserve his compassion. I didn't want it. I was dead anyway. What was the point?

Alice, Jasper and Edward were there too. Jasper looked cool as a cucumber; like he wasn't bothered in the least to be there. In fact, I felt a creeping sense of calm trying to push its way into my psyche. Jasper was using his abilities. But it was a wasted effort. His brow furrowed in confusion. He wasn't used to being powerless in affecting emotions. But, I was so distraught, so far gone over Jacob that not even Jasper could soothe me.

Alice looked nervous, like she was calculating infinite ways this could all go down, and none of them were promising. She probably saw my death a thousand different ways. None of that mattered to me. I didn't care how I died, just that I was going to.

Last, but not least, was Edward. He looked the way I felt. He was practically vibrating with seething hatred and anger. Fresh from his failed attempt at helping me, Jasper tried to focus his attention on his brother. But, as with me, it didn't appear to be working. Edward's eyes were black with no trace of the beautiful gold I'd loved so much. Those black depths bored into mine. Beneath the rage and hatred he held for the vampire behind me, I could see his love for me. He tried to smile, as if to say everything would be alright. It was a lie, and we both knew it. But I appreciated the sentiment anyway.

Alec's grip on my hip tightened exponentially. "The gang's all here," he said. His hand then drifted down my thigh, squeezing suggestively as it traveled. He was taunting Edward, showing him that he alone could possess me.

I closed my eyes and heard a heart-wrenching growl and felt a cool breeze. The next thing I knew, Edward was crouching in front of me, facing off with an incensed Alec.

"You will never touch her again!"

Alec smiled. "Oh, I'll do more than _touch_ her."

Alec feinted left then right, but Edward anticipated every move. Edward stood his ground and Alec couldn't get passed him. But, it was a false sense of security. Edward would lay down his life for me. But it would be a wasted effort. I knew how the Volturi worked now. They had been toying with us from the beginning. They were in charge. They had always been in charge. They let us think we had a chance when we never really did.

"Enough!"

Aro's voice echoed throughout the room, bouncing off of the domed ceiling. He stepped down from the dais and came towards me. Marcus and Caius remained seated, flanking Aro's now vacant throne. They watched me closely from where they sat. I could feel the heat of their gazes boring into me, making me feel naked and vulnerable. I felt like prey.

Unable to hold their gazes for long, I glanced around quickly. There were several red-robed guards stationed at intervals around the room. Though, I noted with increasing distress, there were far less guards than I'd remembered from my last visit. That led me to believe that Alec had been telling the truth. Aro really had sent the bulk of his Volturi Guard to La Push.

"Aro, I grow bored."

All eyes moved towards the dais where Marcus slouched in a display of complete indifference.

"Yes, Marcus," Aro said. "I grow weary of this display as well." Aro focused his attention solely on Edward and continued, "Once I indulged your behavior. I admit that you fascinated me. The idea of you and Bella together was intriguing." His smile quickly turned sour, malevolent. "Now I grow tired of your antics." Aro pointed towards the Cullens who stood off to the side. "Rejoin your family Edward, or I will end her now."

Aro must have meant what he said because Edward's eyes widened in shock right before he flashed to Carlisle's side.

"Now," Aro turned his attention on Alec who sidled up to me with a smug grin on his face, "What has got Edward in a huff?"

Alec chuckled and held his hand out for Aro to clasp. Aro took it and held it between his own, closing his eyes to sift through Alec's memories. After about a minute, Aro released Alec's hand and his red eyes opened and stared straight through to my soul. Then he smiled devilishly and reached past me to pat Alec on the back. "My apologies, Alec. I had no idea my summons was interrupting something so…important. Don't worry. I vow that you'll have an eternity to do with her as you please."

A shiver went down my spine at Aro's cold declaration. Edward growled and Carlisle and Jasper quickly held him back. Alec wrapped his arm around my waist and tugged me flush to his hard body. "Don't worry, Isabella," he whispered seductively in my ear. "We'll be able to finish what we started soon." He then kissed my throat, right where my jugular pulsed erratically.

"Let's have a look at you shall we?" Aro said.

Alec pushed me forward and I would've fallen to the floor had Aro not caught me in his arms. He steadied me and then held me out at arm's length before letting go. He circled around, appraising me like he would a piece of art.

He caressed my cheek almost lovingly. I met his eyes and found triumph reflected back at me. "Lovely. Just lovely," he murmured. "You know Edward, I think I have to thank you. After all, if it weren't for you, I would have made Bella a vampire two years ago. But looking at her now, she was just a mere child then. She's grown into quite a lovely woman." His eyes trailed lasciviously over my exposed flesh. "I would have plucked the fruit before it had a chance to ripen."

"Aro," Edward's voice was pleading. "I offer myself in exchange for Bella. Please. Take me and leave her alone."

"The time for bargaining is long past," Caius called from the dais. "Bella's fate has been decided and all of your lives are forfeit."

Carlisle stepped forward. "Aro please, there must be something we can do, some compromise that would be mutually beneficial."

"And why would I listen to anything you have to say?" Aro screamed. "We have been friends for centuries. And yet you betray me; aligning yourself with our enemies. That was an act of war."

Carlisle's face was grim. "How did you know about the wolves?" he asked.

"You don't even have the decency to deny it."

"Bella is like a daughter to me. She fell in love with someone else. He's a shape-shifter. He's not a Child of the Moon."

"Semantics," Aro said. "Do you deny that he and his brethren kill our kind?"

"No, I don't. They are born to kill vampires because they're the only ones strong enough to protect their people from supernatural predators. You can hardly blame them for defending themselves."

"Oh, I blame them," Aro raged. "And I blame you for siding with our enemies in an attempt to bring us down."

"We did nothing but try to protect Bella."

"No, you chose rabid dogs over your own kind. You chose to defy us. You've sealed your fate." Aro turned to Felix. "Go fetch the witness," he barked, and the vampire vanished in a blur of speed to obey.

Moments later, Felix came back leading a frail, unkempt looking vampire. The Cullens were stoic. They didn't betray any emotion. But, when the mysterious vampire was led past me I gasped in surprise.

Red eyes stared into my own. The last time I had seen those eyes, they had been golden. We had been wondering what became of Tanya. Jacob warned me that she had a part to play. But, never in my wildest dreams did I think I would see her in Volterra. Tanya, once a fiercely beautiful, statuesque creature, exuding sensuality and sex had been reduced to a ragged, wasted, hungry predator. The months in Volterra had changed her. She was wild where once she was all controlled power. This Tanya was frightened and defeated. But more than that, she looked _hungry_.

She saw Edward and her whole demeanor changed. My blood no longer concerned her. She tried to run to him, but Felix held her in check.

"I didn't go to Aro," she screamed. "Edward, they came for me. I didn't tell them anything. He read me. I didn't have a choice. You have to believe me."

She was desperate; utterly and completely unhinged. Edward took a step towards her, but two more guards stepped between them and pushed him back. "It's okay, Tanya." He gave her a reassuring nod and graced her with one of his beautiful smiles. "I believe you," he said, pointing to the side of his head, signaling that he had read her thoughts and found the truth in her confession. Tanya immediately relaxed, nearly sagging against her captor's body. She met my eyes again and whispered, "I'm so sorry, Bella."

I felt the sincerity of Tanya's words, but her blood-red eyes were unnerving. Tanya had subscribed to the same "vegetarian" diet as the Cullens. The fact that her eyes were now red told me that she had been feeding on humans. And based on the look of utter guilt on her face, I deduced that she had done so unwillingly; was probably starved to the point where she couldn't have controlled herself- The same fate Alec had planned for me. We were all victims of the Volturi and their diabolical games.

"After Alec and Jane made their unplanned visit, we knew something was going on," Aro continued. "Alec assured me that all was not as it seemed between Edward and Bella. Tanya was just a wellspring of information." He paused and smirked. "Really, Edward," he said reproachfully. "Calling out Bella's name while your lover is performing…"

"Get to the point!" Edward snapped.

"I'll allow that bit of insolence only because I know it will be your last." Aro's tone was deadly.

"As I was saying," he continued, "Tanya was able to give us some unique insight. Imagine our surprise when she told us that not only were Edward and Bella no longer together, but she was with a wolf. And, her wolf had a pack. She told us all about your pet dogs. She told us how many there are and what their strengths and weaknesses are. We…" The doors banged open and a guard walked in, cutting Aro off mid-thought.

"What is it?"

"There seems to be a fire in the upper levels."

"There _seems_ to be or there is?"

"T-there is, my lord."

"And?" Aro asked incredulously. When the guard fumbled for a response, Aro shouted. "Take care of it, you idiot!" The guard ran back out, but not before three other guards followed him, ostensibly to ensure he took care of the problem.

"It's like I'm dealing with amateurs here, am I right?" Aro threw his hands up in disgust. "Now, where were we?" He looked to Carlisle for an answer. When none was offered, he sighed dramatically. "After everything we've learned about you, do you mean to tell me that you really thought you could come here and _save_ Isabella?"

"No, we didn't."

"Yet, you came anyway. That either means you're utterly stupid or that you naively think you can change my mind regarding her fate."

"I assure you that neither of those are the case. You've miscalculated this time my old friend."

"Miscalculated? How so?" Before Carlisle could answer there was a loud bang that shook the entire room. It was soon followed by dust and small pieces of debris falling from cracks in the ceiling.

"What the hell was that?" Caius asked.

"This is ridiculous," Marcus growled. "Come, follow me," he motioned to two other guards. "I'll go myself and see what's going on out there."

The three vampires left the room in a flurry of crimson robes. "I was a fool to let Jane leave with my entire Volturi Guard to conduct some measly pest control," Aro said. He gave a disapproving look to Alec and the few remaining guards.

"I'm afraid you're right about that Aro," Carlisle said. The air in the room seemed to shift. The hairs on my arms stood on end and I had a feeling that something big was about to happen. I tried to shake myself out of the haze so that I would be prepared for whatever was to come.

"And what is that, exactly?"

"You never should have sent Jane and your Guard to my home. But, your first mistake was going after Bella. She never would've betrayed our secrets. She was never a threat to your need for secrecy. But we all know that you weren't after her to follow protocol. You've wanted her to join your menagerie of gifted vampires from the moment you saw her. You should've just left it alone. But you couldn't. And that's why you're going to die."

Aro chuckled and his laughter turned into a huge guffaw. "I'm going to die?" he asked. "I think you've forgotten where you are and to whom you speak."

"I'm speaking to a fool," Carlisle replied. "And I think you've forgotten where you are. Look around you, Aro. Notice anything? You've sent your strongest warriors halfway around the world to kill ten shape-shifters you've never even met. And the guards you kept are quickly disappearing on you."

"They're taking care of a small fire."

"Are they?"

For a split second, doubt crossed Aro's face before he steeled himself and glared at Carlisle. Aro and Alec were paying no attention to me, so I instinctively shuffled towards Edward. When I was close enough he grabbed me and wrapped his arms around me protectively. He whispered in my ear, "That's it, Bella. You're safe now. I've got you." I closed my eyes and for a moment I let relief wash over me. But then reality came flooding back. Sure, I felt safe with Edward, but the fact remained that Jacob was lost to me. And there was just no recovering from that.

My body nearly folded in on itself and Edward had to hold me up to keep me from falling. My back was pressed against his chest. He stroked my cheek and in a pained, quiet voice he said, "It's not true, Bella. Alec is a liar. It's not true."

I nearly collapsed, daring to hope against hope. But Aro's shouting distracted me.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he roared.

"I'm referring to your miscalculation," Carlisle replied calmly. "Tanya hasn't been privy to the majority of our plans for months; partly because she disappeared in December, when we were about to let her in on them. We have allies, Aro. We found five other shape-shifting tribes in America. And all of them agreed to fight with us; to defeat you."

"That's impossible."

"No, it isn't. We sent Bella away to draw the Volturi Guard to Forks and it worked. You thought that the wolves would be outnumbered and you'd send us a message. But, you couldn't be more wrong. We have over fifty wolves in Forks and La Push as we speak. They are more than a match for your guard. We've already killed your precious Francesca. And Demetri won't be tracking for you ever again. None of them will be coming home to you."

"Clever," Aro whispered. "But you're lying. You're desperate because you know you've lost."

"Have I?" Carlisle reached into his pocket and pulled out a cell phone. He tossed it to Alec. "Here, call your sister. Find out if I'm lying or not."

Alec looked questioningly at Aro who nodded. Alec dialed a number and put the call on speaker. The phone rang twice before the line clicked. "Jane," Alec practically shouted into the phone. "What's going on over there?"

"Jane's dead you sick fuck!" I gasped in surprise. That was Leah's voice on the other line, yet it was barely recognizable. It was filled with so much grief and sorrow that it was distorted. "You're all dead," she said before disconnecting the line.

Alec screamed in rage and agony. He tore at his clothes and his hair. I watched him with detached fascination. He suffered and I had a smile on my face. Before my capture I would've hated the fact that I could take pleasure in someone else's pain. But my experience with Alec had forever changed me. I wasn't sure I'd ever be the same person again. So, the new me, the one without hope, smiled and wished that the pain Alec felt was even a fraction of what I felt. Because if it was, I knew he was in utter misery.

I started to shake and Edward grabbed me, steadying me. He stared at me as if I had lost my mind and it was then that I realized I was laughing hysterically.

"Bella, love."

I barely heard him. I laughed so hard that my sides hurt. He tried again. "Sweetheart, I need you with me right now." He took my face between his hands and forced me to focus solely on him. I saw the fear and desperation in his eyes. That alone finally snapped me out of my hysteria. I looked around the room and saw that the vampires were in a state of chaos.

Aro was trying his level best to calm a raging Alec. Vampires were running around trying to follow the orders that Caius barked from his throne; too lazy or self-important to take matters into his own hands. The walls were shaking and the ceiling was in danger of collapsing down on top of us. What the hell was going on?

Edward stroked my cheek softly. "Are you with me now?" he asked.

I nodded.

He smiled and tucked me behind him, using his body as a shield. He backed us into a niche built into the wall and directed me to stay put. Meanwhile, he, Alice, Jasper and Carlisle fanned out in front of me, taking positions between me and the Volturi.

Tanya began to struggle in Felix's arms. Everything was happening so fast. It was clear to me that contrary to Carlisle's assurances, the Cullens had come to Volterra with the full intention of fighting for their lives and mine.

Including Tanya, the Cullens were an army of five. But it was five against Aro, Caius, Alec, Felix and ten other guards who were still guarding the perimeter. Any hope I had soon diminished. We were grossly outnumbered. The Cullens all needed to fight to have any kind of chance of survival. But one of them would have to protect me leaving the other four vulnerable. We were all going to die here, I thought with grim resignation.

A loud scream echoed in the antechamber. "That was Gianna," Aro shouted. "Felix, go!" Felix and three guards blurred past us to see what was going on. Tanya rushed to Edward's side while the remaining guards fanned out, creating a protective barrier between the Cullens and Aro, Caius and Alec.

Moments later, something hard slammed into the large wooden doors. The impact loosened the hinges. Another loud bang and the doors blew apart sending splintered wood flying everywhere. The ancient doors crumpled and fell to the floor with a thundering crash. Felix's head and parts of the other three guards came flying in through the open doorway, landing at Aro's feet.

The room filled with smoke telling me that the fire mentioned earlier hadn't been contained. It was spreading. I coughed and my eyes began to water from all the dust and smoke in the air.

An apparition stepped through the smoky haze as though from my dreams. A giant, russet colored wolf walked into the room breathing heavily. My legs gave out from under me and my knees hit the floor hard. I began to shake. "J-Jacob," I whispered.

I was dreaming. Or maybe I was dying and my brain was trying to give me a good image to focus on to forget the pain. Maybe I never left Alec's bedroom and this was all in my mind. This wasn't real. Jacob was dead. Eyes that I thought would never look on me with love again found mine. They were filled with such heat and intensity. It was that moment when I let myself believe. I cried out in a mixture of anguish and joy. And that's when all hell broke loose.

Jacob howled and lunged towards the vampires. The Cullens and Tanya faced off against the vampires that were trying to get to me. Meanwhile, all I could do was cower against the wall and hope that no one got passed my line of defense.

I was dizzy from the smoke and I found it hard to concentrate on what was happening. I couldn't follow anything with all the vampire speed. I couldn't tell who was who. The only reassurance I had was the sight of my wolf moving in and out between all the flailing bodies.

The noise was deafening. The room was large and Jacob's howls and the vampires' screams echoed off of the walls and the cavernous ceiling. Granite bodies crashed against each other and against the walls, sending crumbling plaster to the floors. I was on my knees, my hands over my ears trying to block out the chaos.

A vampire came flying across the room out of nowhere, slamming into the wall next to me. I screamed in surprise. Plaster and rock showered down on me. The vampire got to his feet, not even dazed. He was about to spring back into the fight when his nostrils flared and his head snapped around until his blood-red eyes were focused on me.

My eyes widened in fear. The vampire lunged for me and I knew I didn't have a chance. I closed my eyes expecting the killing blow, but felt a cool breeze that blew back my hair instead. When I opened my eyes, the vampire was on the floor with Jacob's front paws on his chest, pinning him down.

In two seconds flat Jacob had torn out the vampire's throat and ripped off all of his limbs. He paused only to look me over, checking for injuries. "I'm okay," I whispered. Jacob nodded his massive head and launched himself back into the melee.

From my vantage point, it looked as though Tanya and the Cullens were evenly matched, thanks to Jacob eliminating extra vampires wherever he went. The only vampire who wasn't engaged in active combat was Aro. He backed away towards the dais, watching the battle rage in horror. The bastard was going to run for it. I could see the fear in his eyes. "Nooooooo!" I screamed, though my voice was hoarse and scratchy. I didn't think anyone would've heard me over the fray.

As if in answer to my prayers, Jacob bounded onto the dais and tackled Aro to the floor. Jacob twisted his massive head and with a loud crack, Aro's right arm came off between his teeth. Aro screamed. Alec hurtled towards them, knocking Jacob to the ground. It was my turn to scream.

Alec tore at Jacob's exposed stomach eliciting a howl of pain. In the confusion, Aro got to his feet and escaped through a hidden door, leaving his arm behind. He was going to get away and there was nothing I could do about it. And at the moment, I couldn't care less. All I cared about was Jacob and he was in a fight to the death with Alec.

Jacob and Alec rolled around on the floor trading blows. Alec gripped Jacob around the throat and threw him across the room. He crashed into a wall and fell to the floor and was still. Alec then focused his attention on me. One second he was across the room, the next he was standing over me. He looked incensed; feral. One look into his eyes showed me everything he planned to do to me. I scrambled back on all fours trying to get away.

"You're mine, Isabella." He gestured to the death and carnage around us. "The whole world could fall part, but no one's taking you away from me." His eyes were crazed. He reached for my hand and in the blink of an eye he had my wrist at his mouth. His teeth grazed my skin right before Jacob appeared. He hit Alec like a freight train, roaring in anger, and sent him flying.

I fell to the floor and scrambled back against the wall. I tugged my sleeve up and checked my arm frantically. There was just a small scratch. Alec's teeth hadn't broken the skin. I held my arm and sighed in relief. But, as far as Jacob knew, I could have easily been changed into a vampire right in front of him. He attacked Alec with renewed savagery. He bit and clawed at him, tearing away pieces of his granite skin. It looked as though Jacob was going to make short work of the vampire who had tortured and nearly raped me. But just when Jacob was about to deal the deathblow, he froze.

Alec got to his feet and brushed the dust from his clothes, while his torn skin healed right before my eyes. He ignored the chaos around him. Vampires killing vampires was no concern of his. He was focused solely on my wolf; my wolf who remained completely immobile as though someone had pressed the pause button on his life story.

Alec gave me a wicked grin and winked at me from across the room. He circled Jacob before kicking him so hard in the ribs that I could hear his bones crack. My worst fears had been realized. Alec had been toying with us the whole time; fighting like a regular vampire. But he had finally unleashed his secret weapon. He used his abilities on Jacob, essentially holding him in place while he beat the life out of him. Alec punched Jacob so hard in the hip that the joint popped out of its socket, sending my wolf to the floor. Jacob was strong. But he was completely defenseless against Alec, deprived of all his senses. Jacob took blow after blow; broken bones and torn skin without making a sound. He didn't moan or whimper in pain. It was haunting.

I wanted to go to him. I wanted to help him; to shield him from the pain. But once again I was forced to face the fact that I was powerless.

"I'm going to restore his sight and his hearing, but nothing else." Alec said. "He'll watch me strip that delectable body naked and have my way with you. He'll hear your cries. But, he won't be able to do a thing to stop me. I wonder," he cocked his head to the side as though deep in thought. "I wonder if those cries will be ones of pain or passion. I have a feeling you like it rough. Do you like it rough, Isabella?" He stalked towards me slowly. "This couldn't have worked out any better," he said. "I always thought it would be better with an audience."

My knees were weak. With every step Alec took towards me, I retreated farther back until my back pressed against the wall. It was the bedroom all over again. I was helpless; powerless to stop him. Only this time, Jacob would be forced to watch.

I looked into Jacob's eyes. We had a silent conversation in that brief glance. What we didn't say spoke volumes. I looked into the depths of his eyes, beyond the rage and deadly violence and found peace and love. And if that's the last thing I would see, I knew my soul would be at peace. I was already accepting the end, when my last vestige of hope bloomed.

Unbeknownst to Alec, Jacob's broken body twitched, slowly coming to life. One paw jerked awkwardly before landing firmly on the ground again. Each step was jerky and uncoordinated. But, I could see the determination in his eyes. He was coming for Alec. Of course, Alec was too focused on me to notice.

Alec crowded me, his arms spanning the niche, trapping me between himself and the wall. I could feel the cold permeating from his skin, he was so close. "I'm going to break you right in front of your mutt. I'm going to have you in every way possible." He twirled a piece of my hair around his finger. He leaned in and inhaled deeply, closing his eyes to savor my scent. "I won't be gentle. But, I think you already knew that."

He grabbed me, pulling me flush to his body. I squirmed and whimpered, but that only served to encourage him. He laughed in my ear and gripped my hips tightly, pressing me against his arousal. I hated him. I wanted to kill him with my bare hands. But I was weak. And I hated myself for it.

Alec reached for my shirt, intending to tear it off my body once and for all. But that's when Jacob lunged at him, taking his legs out from under him. Alec jumped back up in a blur of speed, and Jacob swiped with his massive paw and knocked him back down. "Impossible," Alec screamed. "You shouldn't be able to move at all!" And he was right. His power should have kept Jacob immobilized. But for some reason, Jacob was able to fight it.

Alec redoubled his efforts. He unleashed blow after blow on Jacob, striking his already wounded ribs and legs. Jacob took every hit and kept on coming, forcing Alec back and trapping him against the wall. Fear flashed in Alec's eyes as Jacob continued to push with no sign of backing down. Blood spilled from cuts and lacerations all over his body; his fur was matted with it. But still he kept coming.

Finally, Jacob seemed to come out of a trance and he attacked Alec with a fierceness and savagery he had only ever hinted at before, but never shown. He swiped at Alec's neck with his razor-like claws and nearly severed his head completely from his body.

Alec fought back like a cornered animal, landing brutal blow after blow in quick succession. Jacob didn't make a sound. He absorbed each crippling hit without so much as a grunt of pain. They were moving so fast, my brain couldn't process what it was seeing. The next thing I knew, there was an angry yell filled with disbelief followed by a loud crack. Jacob unleashed a savage howl that had the walls vibrating from its intensity. And then Alec's head fell to the floor, followed quickly by his lifeless body.

The moment Alec's body hit the floor; it was like someone had turned the volume up. Noises came crashing into my conscious mind, deafening and overwhelming. Jacob stumbled a second before regaining his feet. His massive head turned towards me, eyes roaming me from head to toe, checking for injuries. With a feral growl, Jacob phased and tore Alec's body apart with his bare hands.

I should've been frightened. Jacob was acting like a man possessed, taking entirely too much pleasure out of destroying Alec. But, instead of showing fear, I watched with grim satisfaction as pieces of my tormentor were torn brutally from his body. Alec wouldn't ever hurt me again.

I took a tentative step back and saw that the Cullens had not been idle. All the enemy vampires were dead. Most importantly The Cullens, including Tanya, looked relatively unscathed. Jasper and Alice had even started a bonfire in the middle of the room, fueled from the wood from Aro's throne. Edward ran around the room collecting body parts and throwing them onto the flames. Purples smoke wafted into the air, stinging my eyes.

Through the haze and smoke I saw Jacob's broad back and russet skin. His chest heaved with labored breaths. Sweat beaded on his skin. He collected all of Alec's remains and tossed them into the fire himself. He stood naked and dazed as he watched the vampire who dared touch me turn to ash.

"J-Jake?"

Seeing Jacob in wolf form was one thing. It had brought me hope where I thought there had been none. But, seeing the boy I had fallen in love with, and the man he became was a sight to behold. I saw him, in the flesh, but I still couldn't believe he was real. I needed to touch him, hold him before my heart would believe what my eyes were telling me.

Jacob turned around slowly, stiffly. His eyes met mine. He didn't say a word. He didn't need to. His heart was in his eyes.

I ran to him, heedless of my injuries. Nothing mattered except being in his arms. I ran as fast as I could into his waiting, warm embrace. He lifted me with a soft grunt and held me close. I sank into his arms and allowed myself to experience Heaven. Tears fell unchecked down my face, only this time they were tears of joy. He held me tightly, but carefully, before setting me back down on my feet.

His hands caressed my face, his thumb glided gently over my split lip. His nostrils flared and his eyes nearly turned black. Not only was I visibly hurt, but I knew he could smell Alec all over me. He was so concerned about me that he ignored the fact that his own wounds were still bleeding from deep gashes that hadn't healed thoroughly yet. The wounds started to close slowly, but he was still covered in blood.

The building shook again and parts of the ceiling crumbled and fell to the floor. Jacob shielded me from the falling debris with his body. Carlisle shouted and the Cullens scrambled in my periphery. I didn't hear what they were saying and I certainly didn't pay attention to their panicked tones. My sole focus was Jacob. He was here and everything would be alright. I hugged him again, reassuring myself that he was real.

"I was so scared," I whispered against his chest.

He stroked my hair and I felt his lips lightly brush the crown of my head. "I was too, honey. I was so scared that I lost you; that I wouldn't be able to…" He shook his head as though he were shaking off a bad memory. "It's over now," he continued. "There's nothing to worry about now. I'm going to get you home."

I closed my eyes and inhaled Jacob's clean scent of pine and ocean. "I _am_ home."

Our eyes met and I melted. I reached up and touched his face. "Jake, your lip's bleeding." I wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth with my thumb. When the blood came away on my fingers, I noticed that it hadn't been from a cut to his lip. In fact, fresh blood seeped out from the corner of his mouth again. I watched like a curious observer, mystified by the sight of his blood. I was so used to seeing his wounds heal quickly.

Jacob coughed a wet, guttural sound from deep within his lungs. I felt something wet splash across my face and down my shirt. I looked down and saw that the white shirt I had been wearing was stained with red paint. What the hell?

I looked back up at Jacob and that's when I realized that I wasn't covered in paint at all. It was blood; Jacob's blood.

He looked at the blood and then into my eyes. Panic and fear was reflected back at me. "Oh fuck," he said. And then he collapsed. I tried to hold him up, but his massive weight sent me crashing to the floor beneath him. I crawled out from under him and held his head in my lap.

"Jake?"

Blood poured freely out of his mouth and ears. He was pale and motionless. He was cold.

I clutched his body to mine, shaking him. "Jake? Baby, wake up. Jake! Can you hear me? Baby, I need you to wake up." I screamed. There was no reply.

"HELP!" I screamed. "Somebody, please help me!"

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please review and let me know what you think. Speaking of reviews, this story now has over 3000 reviews! I never thought my little Jacob/Bella story would come so far. So again, thank you all for your continued support.**

**I'd especially like to thank my beta Neha for all of her support and help with this story as a whole. I look forward to getting started on the next chapter. Until next time…Erin.**


	46. Chapter 46

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do not.**

**A/N: Thank you all for reading and reviewing the last chapter. I got a ton of reviews and they're still trickling in. I appreciate the support. I especially want to thank those of you who left anonymous reviews: Lexi, Guest, Shell, Kessica, megan39, Dizzy4u, Jacoblover, Danadane, Miss Pink 001, Angel, Tehomet, Anony, Kookie. I haven't had a chance to reply to every review just yet. But I will get to them. Anyway, thanks again. I really do appreciate it.**

**CHAPTER FORTY-SIX **

**Previously on Coming Full Circle:**

_Jacob coughed a wet, guttural sound from deep within his lungs. I felt something wet splash across my face and down my shirt. I looked down and saw that the white shirt I had been wearing was stained with red paint. What the hell?_

_I looked back up at Jacob and that's when I realized that I wasn't covered in paint at all. It was blood; Jacob's blood._

_He looked at the blood and then into my eyes. Panic and fear was reflected back at me. "Oh fuck," he said. And then he collapsed. I tried to hold him up, but his massive weight sent me crashing to the floor beneath him. I crawled out from under him and held his head in my lap._

"_Jake?"_

_Blood poured freely out of his mouth and ears. He was pale and motionless. He was cold._

_I clutched his body to mine, shaking him. "Jake? Baby, wake up. Jake! Can you hear me? Baby, I need you to wake up." I screamed. There was no reply._

"_HELP!" I screamed. "Somebody, please help me!"_

**BPOV:**

Edward was by my side in an instant. He tried to pull me into his arms. "Bella, what is it? What's wrong?" I struggled out of his hold, clutching desperately to Jacob.

"Help me, please," I screamed.

Carlisle came next and saw that Jacob was the one who was in need of help. "Stay calm, Bella," he said as he began to look Jacob over.

"Bella, it'll be okay. Jacob's in good hands," Edward said. And it was then that I realized I had been screaming the whole time. I shut my mouth immediately, and focused on an unconscious Jacob in my lap.

Carlisle checked Jacob's vitals. He assured me that Jacob did have a pulse, but then his brow furrowed when he continued his examination. Jacob was alive. I should be jumping for joy. But Carlisle looked worried and that set my anxiety into overdrive.

There was a loud rumble and the room shook dropping large pieces of stone from the ceiling down to the floor. "Carlisle," Edward said. "The whole building's coming down. We need to get out of here _now_."

Carlisle nodded in agreement. He face was grim. "I can't do much for him now anyway. We need to get back to the plane." He patted my hand and added, "We planned for something like this, Bella. We have a private jet with an emergency room set up."

I stared at him wide-eyed, unable to speak. All I heard was _'I can't do much for him.'_ Everything else was just static.

"Jasper, I need you," Alice said. "She's in shock.

My mind woke up a bit at that. I glared at Jasper and said, "Leave me alone. I'm fine. I want to be with Jacob. Don't you…"

And that's the last thing I remembered until I woke up hours later on the plane.

It took me a while to fully regain consciousness. My body was awake and alert, but my mind was still drifting through a fog. It felt like I was walking underwater, my reactions sluggish and unsure.

As I regained my senses I realized that I was encased in warmth and someone was stroking my hair, whispering soothing words in my ear. But, it didn't feel right. It wasn't the warmth I was expecting. I opened my eyes and came back to full consciousness feeling as though I'd been run over by a large truck. Every muscle in my body was sore. I tried to sit up but a restraining arm held me down. I panicked and struggled, trying to fight my way out of the tight embrace.

"Shh, Bella, it's just me. You're safe now."

Edward? He hugged me, pressing his nose against my neck. He inhaled and then sighed deeply. He proceeded to kiss me repeatedly, on my forehead, my brow and my cheek. When he went for my lips I finally snapped out of my lethargy and pulled away.

"I was so afraid I had lost you," he said.

Everything came back to me in a rush. "Jacob," I cried out. "Where's Jacob?"

Edward's face crumpled for a moment before he put on a mask of indifference. "Shh," he cooed. "He's going to be fine, Bella. Carlisle's with him now."

Edward's eyes had returned to their golden hue. I looked into him, searching for the truth. After a moment I breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed in his arms. He hugged me to him gently. "I need to see him," I said.

"Of course."

He stood up and gently set me down on my feet. I was shocked when I looked around. I remembered Carlisle mentioning he had a private jet, but I hadn't expected such opulence. The cabin was larger than my father's living room. Edward and I were secluded towards the rear of the plane where a cozy leather sofa rested up against the wall. There was a door to another room next to us. I assumed that was the bedroom where they were keeping Jacob.

Towards the front of the plane was a living room with another leather sofa facing a large flat screen television mounted on the wall. Jasper and Alice flanked Tanya on the couch; all eyes were focused on the television. They were listening with rapt attention to a news report.

'_No one is sure how the fire started, but local authorities suggest faulty wiring may be the culprit. Although the church has been completely destroyed, there have been no reported casualties and no confirmed deaths. A spokesperson from the church stated that to escape with only property damage was a miracle. The Cathedral of Volterra was built over…'_

I tuned the reporter out and focused on the images on the screen. The bell tower now lay crumpled in the middle of the town square. The church itself was a pile of rubble and ashes. The Volturi, all but Aro, had been destroyed. I refused to let the fact that Aro had escaped ruin this moment. We were safe.

Edward held me firmly in his arms, and that's when I realized I was in danger of collapsing. I locked my knees and patted him on the hand, smiling gratefully. "Thanks," I said.

Alice turned her attention from the television and eyed us for a moment before springing to her feet. "Oh, thank goodness you're up," she chirped. "With Jacob on board I never know what's going to happen."

I launched out of Edward's arms, my blanket falling to the floor. "How dare you!" I roared. I turned my glare onto Jasper who stood up at the sound of my rage. "How dare you use your abilities on me!"

Images from the throne room came flooding back to me. Jacob lay broken and bleeding in my arms. I had felt so helpless. I couldn't _do_ anything for him. The only thing I could do was be there for him; show him that he wasn't alone. That had been the most terrifying part of my captivity with Alec. I had been alone; without hope. What if Jacob had truly been at death's door? What if my voice was the only thing that would have anchored him to life? What if he somehow sensed I was no longer there and he'd given up; stopped fighting altogether? Alice and Jasper had done the unthinkable. They decided I was what, too hysterical; that I needed to be taken out of the equation so that the "adults" could handle things? I had been through too much to let them treat me like a child.

Alice ignored my tone and looked at me disapprovingly. "Bella, Jacob's going to be okay. Besides, you were going into shock. We figured it would be best if we put you under so that we could get us all to safety that much quicker. Now," she said, holding up a bag, "I brought a change of clothes for you."

I stared at her. I was consumed with rage. She essentially had me knocked unconscious because it would be "easier" to deal with me, and now she wanted to play dress-up? Unbelievable!

"Bella, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" I screamed. "I was kidnapped, beaten and nearly raped. I was told that the love of my life was dead. And when he needed me most, you decided that it would be _easier_ to just put me out of commission rather than helping me. You took away my will. How is that any different from what Alec did to me?"

Alice's lip quivered. She looked hurt, like I had slapped her in the face. I didn't care. I was too angry. I was sick of being weak and taken advantage of. And I hated that my friends, the people who supposedly cared about me would put me in that position so soon after what I had been through.

"Bella," Jasper drawled sweetly, "Alice didn't mean anything by it. We were just looking out for you. We thought it was best…"

"I don't care what you thought. I am responsible for me. I make my own decisions." I shook my head in frustration. "You guys made me feel weak and helpless. Thanks. Thanks a lot."

Edward cleared his throat. "Um, Bella."

"WHAT?" I turned around ready to take him on as well.

Edward averted his eyes and held up the blanket. "You might want to wrap this around you, Bella."

I looked down and saw that I was still wearing Jacob's shirt and that it was barely staying on my body. I was filthy and covered in blood. I looked a mess. I pulled the shirt closed with one hand and took the blanket back with the other. "Thank you," I said. I wrapped the blanket around myself trying to hide the blush creeping over my skin.

"Where is he?"

Edward led me to the door I'd noticed earlier. He reached for the doorknob, but I grabbed his hand. "Wait."

I panicked. I was afraid of what I would find when I opened that door. I had been on an emotional roller coaster thinking Jacob had died then seeing him in the flesh, only to have him fall unconscious and scare me all over again. Edward placed a hand on my shoulder and I flinched. I realized it would be awhile before I would feel comfortable with people touching me.

"I'm sorry, Bella." His eyes were wounded, like he wished he could take my pain away.

"No, I'm sorry," I said. "I'm just…jumpy."

He gave me an understanding smile and nodded. "It's okay to go in, Bella. He looks a lot better than he did back in Volterra. Carlisle patched him up."

"Thank you."

He nodded and left me to it while he resumed his seat. I opened the door and was immediately surprised by the size of the bedroom. It was big enough to hold a king-sized bed and a large bathroom in the corner. There was enough medical equipment to fill an emergency room. Carlisle diligently checked all the monitors. But, when he started to pull Jacob's IV out, I started to lose it.

"What are you doing?"

"It's alright, Bella. His vitals are back to normal. His color and temperature are good. There's no need for him to be hooked up to the monitors anymore. He's healing on his own."

I heaved a sigh of relief and watched as Carlisle cleared all the excess equipment from the bed. Jacob looked peaceful. There were no cuts or bruises on his skin, which led me to believe that the bulk of his injuries had been internal.

My breath caught in my throat. Jacob was beautiful. His chest was bare and a white sheet covered him up to his waist. His hair was spread out on the pillow. He looked like he was just sleeping and not recovering from the brink of death. I wanted to touch him; to lie down next to him. But he looked so peaceful. I couldn't bear to disturb him.

When Carlisle was finished he looked me over. "I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to check your injuries. I wanted to get Jacob stable first."

"Stable? Carlisle, how bad was it?"

"I'm not going to sugar coat it for you. It was touch and go for a minute there."

My legs went limp and it took everything in me to catch myself before I fell. Carlisle saw how weak I was and led me to a chair by Jacob's bedside. In the blink of an eye he had a water bottle for me. I took a drink and then I chugged half the contents down my throat. I couldn't remember the last time I'd eaten or drank anything.

"Easy, Bella. Easy. You're a bit dehydrated. Just take your time."

I nodded and resumed drinking more slowly while Carlisle continued. "It was clear from the onset that Jacob was suffering from some internal bleeding. But, I couldn't tell where until we got to the plane. We made sure the plane was set up as an emergency room just in case."

"Just in case?"

"We weren't sure what condition you would be in when we found you. We were prepared for anything." He caressed my cheek in a fatherly way. I tried hard not to cringe from the touch of his cold hands, but they brought up too many painful memories with Alec. "Jacob was unresponsive," he continued, pretending he hadn't noticed my reaction. "He had broken bones, lacerations all over his body. But he wasn't healing. I finally used the ultrasound machine and found that his spleen had ruptured. I operated, repaired the tear, sewed him back up and his body immediately started to heal itself."

"So he's really going to be okay?" I was almost too afraid to hope.

"I've never heard of anyone resisting Alec's power. It's, well, it should have been impossible. But, Jacob…he's a miracle, Bella. He's going to be okay. I wouldn't be surprised if he woke up within the hour."

I started to cry. But for once, they were tears of joy. I buried my head in my hands, overwhelmed with emotion. I was in pain, I was tired and hungry. But Jacob was going to be all right, which meant that I would be all right. It was an unlooked for, unexpected blessing.

Carlisle watched me with a sympathetic eye, mindful of not touching me. He let me have my emotional outburst without saying a word, for which I was grateful. When I was finished I asked him, "How long was I out?"

He frowned. "I'm sorry about that, Bella. Alice and Jasper had no right to do that to you." Clearly he had heard our argument earlier. He checked his watch and said, "You were asleep for about three hours. We still have another ten hours left of our flight. I'll get you something to eat."

"No, I'm not really hungry."

"Bella, you need to eat something."

"I know, but I'll wait. When Jacob asks for food, I'll eat. I just don't feel like it now."

"Alright, since you don't want to eat, I suppose now would be a good time to check your injuries. May I?"

I shivered at the thought of him touching me, but then shook it off. He was a doctor. And he loved me. His touch might be vampire-cold, but I was in good hands with him. "Okay," I said finally.

Carlisle put on a pair of latex gloves and brought his black medical bag over. Jacob stirred in bed, his head coming to rest facing my direction, as if subconsciously he knew I was there.

Carlisle checked my vitals. I told him about my shoulder. He assured me that the joint was fine and healing properly. He cleaned my lip and said that it wouldn't need stitches. I showed him the huge knot on the back of my head. He said I was lucky that I didn't have a concussion. He said I had bruises and contusions over two-thirds of my body, but that they would heal eventually. He found three cracked ribs and wrapped me up tightly. When he was through he looked at me solemnly.

"Bella, I'd like to conduct a more…thorough exam."

I started to shake. "No." The thought of anyone touching me like that…I just couldn't.

"Bella, I know this is hard for you. But, I need to see if you're hurt. If we don't check these things now, it could lead to permanent damage; it could even affect your ability to have children in the future."

Oh God. He thought I was actually raped! "It won't be necessary, believe me."

"But…"

"It won't be necessary," I repeated firmly.

Carlisle considered me for a moment and then he heaved a huge sigh of relief. He smiled and leaned forward, kissing me on the forehead. I pulled away at the last second. "I'm sorry," I said. "I just…can't."

"Don't apologize, Bella. I'm just so happy that you're safe now. We all are."

I wrapped the blanket tighter around me. "Bella," Carlisle was standing by the closed door, his hand on the knob. "When we get home, I think you should talk to someone about what you've been through. I think it'll help."

I nodded, not wanting to commit to an answer. He was probably right. After everything I'd been through, even I could tell that I was messed up in the head. But, I'd cross that bridge when I came to it.

Carlisle sighed. "One more thing," he said. "I'd like to give you some meds for the pain. You may not be feeling it now, but after the adrenaline passes through your system, you're going to be in a lot of pain. But, I can't give you anything unless you eat."

"I'll be fine," I reassured him.

"Okay," Carlisle relented. "Just call for us if you need anything. Otherwise, we'll give you your privacy."

"Thank you, Carlisle. Thank you for…everything."

"No need to thank me. Besides, Jacob was the one who came up with the plan. He hated it, but it was all his idea. We wouldn't have been able to save you without him."

"Carlisle, what about Aro? We can't let him get away."

"And we won't. I wouldn't worry too much about him. I've known Aro for centuries. He was only as strong as those he kept around him. He's lost everything; his power, his followers…Jasper wanted to go after Aro himself, but I thought it unwise considering we had to get you and Jacob to safety. Alice will keep an eye on his decisions. When we get back home, we'll regroup. I'll contact our allies. We'll search the world if we have to. He'll never hurt you or anyone you love again. I promise." And with that, Carlisle left the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

I focused on Jacob. Other than turning his head in my direction, he hadn't moved at all. His breaths were slow and deep which was reassuring. I reached for Jacob's hand and squeezed it. It was warm, just like it was supposed to be. I brushed his hair away from his face and leaned in to kiss his brow. I inhaled deeply. Despite the anti-septic scent in the air, Jacob still smelled as wonderful as he always did; male, ocean and pine.

I leaned back in the chair and waited. I wanted to get into bed with him; to hold him until he woke up. But I knew that the moment I got into that bed I'd fall asleep. And I was afraid that if I fell asleep, this would all prove to be a dream. I didn't want to risk that.

I watched Jacob for a long time. I looked for any sign of movement, hoping that he would wake up soon. But he just slept on.

I kept vigil and tried to ignore just how sore and uncomfortable I was. Carlisle was right, once I settled down the pain came to the forefront. My shoulder ached and my ribs hurt whenever I took a deep breath. I pushed through it because the pain was nothing compared to what I had felt when I thought Jacob was gone. So, I tucked the blanket around myself and waited.

I must have fallen asleep because I was startled by the sound of a knock at the door. Edward came in carrying some clothes in his hands. I saw red. "I am not playing dress up for anyone!" I seethed, trying to keep my voice down so as not to disturb Jacob.

"These clothes didn't come from Alice," he said. "She actually brought you some designer duds in that bag." He shook his head like he couldn't believe his sister sometimes. "Jacob packed these for you in his bag. I figured you'd want to clean up a bit."

"What's that supposed to mean? I'm not presentable enough or something?"

"Bella, you always look beautiful to me."

He looked at me longingly and I turned my head, unable to deal with those emotions. "Then why do I need to change?" I asked. I felt defeated and I was too tired to argue.

Edward knelt next to my chair and it took everything in me not to recoil from his presence. It wasn't his fault and I didn't want to make him feel worse than he already did.

"Jacob is a wolf. He's a natural-born predator who's trained to kill and protect. He couldn't protect you when you needed him…"

"Don't you dare blame him, Edward. I…"

"No, I'm sorry. I'm not blaming him. I'm just letting you know how he feels. He blames himself for your kidnapping."

"How could you possibly know what he feels?" I looked at Jacob's unconscious figure on the bed.

Edward tapped the side of his head. "He's dreaming," he said. "He's replaying the events over and over in his mind. Only, in his dreams, he doesn't save you."

I took Jacob's hand in my own. His eyes moved rapidly beneath his eyelids and I knew that Edward was right.

"I'm here, Jacob," I whispered soothingly. "You _did_ save me. I'm right here."

Jacob's eyes stilled and his body relaxed.

"He heard you," Edward said. "He's sleeping peacefully now. But love, right now you're covered in blood and you smell of…Alec. I'm just concerned that when Jacob comes to, he could be disoriented. If he sees you like this, he might lash out. He could hurt you."

I shook my head. "Jacob would never hurt me."

"That may be, but he might hurt himself, especially once he realizes what was done to you."

Shame rolled through me. I had admitted what had happened to me in my fit of anger with Alice. But based on the look in Edward's eyes, he had a more intimate understanding of what transpired in that bedroom thanks to his mind-reading abilities. It was bad enough that I felt humiliated and violated. But, the fact that Edward saw everything, read it from Alec's mind was just too much to bear. I hid my face in my hands, not wanting to face him.

"How am I supposed to tell him?" I asked meekly. "He already blames himself for my kidnapping. He's going to go ballistic when he realizes…"

"You tell him when you're ready. I think he's figured out more than you think based on the way he went off on Alec. Just clean up as best you can. Now, I have some jeans and a hooded sweatshirt here. That should cover up the majority of your bruises for now. Then when you get home, when you're ready, you can tell him everything."

Edward calmly talked me down from my panic attack. What he said made sense. I wouldn't lie to Jacob. I would never lie to him. But I also wasn't ready to talk about what happened to me; not to anyone. I was afraid of what I would see in Jacob's eyes when he knew. Would he judge me? Would he blame me? I didn't think he would do either of those things, but being victimized didn't lead to a lot of clear thinking. Ultimately I just wanted to save Jacob from the blame he would take upon himself. He would blame himself for every single cut and bruise. That's what was killing me most.

"You can get cleaned up right in there," Edward said, pointing to the bathroom.

I nodded and took the clothes he offered. I stood up but realized I couldn't move. I stared at Jacob lying on the bed. "I don't want to leave him alone," I said.

Edward smiled sweetly. "I'll watch over him. Don't worry."

"Thank you."

I set my clothes on the counter and closed the door. The lights turned on automatically. I saw my reflection in the mirror and nearly screamed. Carlisle had said that I had bruises over two-thirds of my body. That was so clinical. The reality of it was something else. I had a black eye, my lower lip was swollen and the cut on my lip looked deep. I had bruises that looked like fingertip impressions on my cheek. There was also an ugly red ring around my neck where Alec had held me. Of course it didn't help that my hair was wildly tangled, greasy and just all around unkempt.

I found a hair tie in my pile of clothes. I tied my hair back and washed my face and brushed my teeth. My arm was sore and stiff, and it was hard to maneuver around, but I made do with the simple tasks.

I took off Jacob's shirt. I hated that Alec had turned it into something so vile. I balled it up and threw it in the trashcan. I never wanted to see it again.

I stood in front of the mirror naked, but for the bandaging around my ribs. I had bruises on my shoulders, but what really drew my gaze were the handprint-sized bruises on my breasts. I closed my eyes to block out the images of Alec's brutal attack. I looked down and was nearly sick to my stomach when I saw the bruises on my thighs. I may not have been raped by that bastard, but I felt violated nonetheless. No one but Jacob had ever touched me so intimately. I hated Alec for trespassing onto territory that was held sacred between Jacob and me.

It was time to get myself together. I wasn't mentally prepared to deal with what happened to me. So, I decided to store it all away into a compartment in my mind, to be brought out and dealt with later.

I probably should've taken a shower. But, I was already anxious from being too long away from Jacob as it was. I just couldn't bear being naked for another second. I donned the underwear provided and shimmied into the loose fitting jeans. There was no shirt, but the hooded sweatshirt would offer plenty of coverage and warmth. I tried putting the bra on, but between my sore ribs and my aching shoulder, it made that task nearly impossible. I hoped the sweatshirt would be baggie enough that no one would notice.

I struggled getting my arms into the sleeves. My shoulder was stiff and it just wouldn't bend the way I needed it to. I could've asked for help. Alice had helped me before when I was injured. But, I was so angry with her. I didn't even want to look at her. And honestly, the thought of cold, vampire hands touching me in any way sent chills down my spine. I knew it shouldn't. The Cullens loved me like a daughter and sister. But, in the aftermath of Alec's attack, I just wasn't thinking all that rationally.

The sweatshirt was uncooperative. I just couldn't bend my arm properly. I was frustrated until I gave a final tug and my injured arm finally slid into the sleeve, but not before I cried out in pain.

"Bella?" Edward's voice was strained outside the bathroom. "Are you alright? You've got an agitated werewolf out here."

I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes and opened the door. Edward looked concerned but didn't push, for which I was grateful. "I was just having a hard time getting dressed with my shoulder," I said.

He frowned. "You should have asked for help," he replied. When he saw the look on my face he backed down and looked towards the bed where Jacob was moaning and groaning. I pushed past Edward and ran to Jacob's side. I took his hand and he immediately stilled. I looked up at Edward questioningly.

"He started to react the moment we heard you struggling in there."

Jacob remained calm as long as I was near him. That was fine with me because the feeling was mutual. I climbed onto the bed, still holding Jacob's hand.

"I'll leave you two alone," Edward said. He started to back out of the room quietly. I turned towards him. I didn't have words for the appreciation I felt for him and his family coming for me. But, I especially was grateful for the way he watched over Jacob, knowing how hard it was for him to be in the same room as the man who'd stolen me away. I tried to convey all that in my gaze. Edward smiled and said, "I'd do anything for you, Bella."

He reached for the doorknob and paused, "If your shoulder is hurting you that badly, you really should take the pain meds Carlisle brought. I can make you something to eat right now."

I shook my head. "Not yet. I'm too tired to eat." And the moment I said it I realized just how true that was. I was emotionally and physically drained. I had been through hell and back and I knew I wasn't fully out of the woods yet. I had Jacob back in my arms, which was a miracle. But my heart was still heavy with grief over Seth.

Edward paused by the door. "Bella, I…" He didn't finish the sentence. He just sighed and walked out of the room.

I lay down in the bed and Jacob instinctively made room for me. I felt warm for the first time since we'd separated. I had been chilled to the bone for what seemed like days. I wrapped my hands around his arm and held it to my chest. I let his body warm mine. I noticed that I wasn't adverse to touch, not when it was Jacob who was doing the touching. He was safety. He was _Home_. I snuggled into him and waited for oblivion to take me.

I woke up to the sensation of soft, feather-light kisses being placed on my brow, my nose and lips. I inhaled deeply and smiled when I smelled Jacob, clean and crisp like an ocean breeze. I opened my eyes, expecting to see Jacob's smiling face. Instead, his eyes were wide, tentative, like someone who has awoken a dangerous animal.

"Jake?"

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he said. His voice was strained, on the verge of tears. "I'm so sorry. I let you down. I…"

With every word he was pulling away from me. A great chasm threatened to separate us forever unless I stopped it. I reached for him, wrapped my arms around him and held him tight.

"You did NOT let me down," I snarled. I buried my face in his neck. "You saved me, Jake. I don't know what I would've done. I thought I'd lost you. He…" I couldn't say his name, "told me that you were dead. And I'd already lost Seth. I just couldn't bear it."

Jacob pulled away, his brows furrowed in confusion. "What about Seth?"

I gasped. "Oh God, you don't know?" I caressed his face, hating being the one who had to tell him. "J-Jane killed him. He died trying to protect me." Fresh tears stained my face. The pain was just too much.

Jacob held me and kissed my tears away. "No, honey," he soothed. "Seth's alive. He's back home. Esme and Quil brought him home."

I stared at him for a moment, completely dumbfounded. There were no words. Then I threw myself into Jacob's arms and let him hold me. Seth was alive! A huge weight had been lifted from me. I could forget, for just a little while about what I had been through because Seth was alive. I didn't have to carry the responsibility for his death on my shoulders.

I was thrilled, but Jacob was still acting strangely. There was something off between us. I sat up on the bed and he looked away. "What is it?" I asked. Was it me? Could he smell Alec all over me? Did he know what Alec had done? Did he think I was unworthy now? My insecurities threatened to drown me.

"I did fail you," he argued. "Look at you. You're bruised all over. And I can tell you're in pain by the way you're moving. I did this to you. I'm just as much to blame as the bastard who hit you."

I started to cry hysterically even though I cursed myself for the weakness. I was so emotional. I didn't know how I was forming coherent thoughts.

"Honey, please don't cry," Jacob pleaded. "I'll do anything to make it up to you. I…"

"Oh shut up you big dumb jerk!" I shouted. Jacob pulled back like he'd been slapped. I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him. "I've been through too much Jacob; too much to listen to you blame yourself for this." I gestured to my face. "I'm tired. I'm hungry. And yes, I am in pain. I've been through hell and back in less than twenty-four hours. I'm about to fall apart here and the last thing I need is for you to blame yourself for something that's not your fault!"

By the time I finished I was screaming. Jacob cradled me in his arms, rocking me gently. "I'm so sorry, honey. I'm…"

"Don't be sorry," I said. "Just be the big bad wolf I need."

He held me and kissed me tenderly. I felt safe and reassured in his arms. The sheet fell away from him revealing the velvety smooth skin below his waist. Flashes of Alec stalking towards me, reaching for his zipper raced through my mind. I scrambled away from Jacob, breathing heavily. Jacob, noting my distress, seemed to have read my mind, because he pulled the sheet back into place and covered himself.

After the panic subsided I took a calming breath and scooted closer to Jacob. "I'm sorry," I said.

"Nothing to be sorry for," he murmured, clutching the sheet tightly in his fist.

We stayed like that for a while, both of us trying to regain a semblance of calm.

"I'm sorry about earlier," he said. He buried his face in his hands like he was ashamed. "I didn't want you to see me like that."

What was he talking about? And how ironic was it that I had felt the same way? There was something wrong here if we were both feeling ashamed for things that were beyond our control.

"I lost it in there," he continued solemnly. "I just couldn't stand the thought of his hands on you. And the way he was looking at you and what he threatened you with…I just lost it." He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists at his sides. "It wasn't enough to just kill him. I wanted to tear him apart with my bare hands." He looked into my eyes, gauging my reaction. "I just don't want you to be scared of me. I'm not a monster."

I was flabbergasted. I leaned into him, resting my head on his stomach and my hand above his heart. After a few tentative moments, he wrapped his arms around me. "I know you're not a monster, Jake." I raised my head and held his eyes. "If I had been stronger, I would've done the same exact thing. Alec deserved a lot worse."

Jacob breathed a sigh of relief and that chasm that had been building between us closed. The foundation of our love had been solidified by blood and tears. I was safe and I had Jacob with me. Everything was as it should be.

"Jake, how are you feeling?" I sat up quickly when I realized that all my weight was on his stomach and that he was recovering from surgery. He smiled his Jacob smile and sat up, leaning against the headboard. He pulled me up with him, without so much as a hint of strain or a grunt of pain.

"I'm fine, Bells. I'm a little sore, but I'm healing up just fine."

I smiled and then I slapped him hard on the chest. "Oww!" He cried, though I knew I hadn't hurt him. Hell, my hand wasn't even stinging. "What was that for?"

"You scared the hell out of me Jacob Black! There was blood everywhere. You're supposed to be my super-healing werewolf! I thought you were dead." I slapped him on his chest again. "Don't you ever do that to me again!"

He laughed. We had been through hell and back-and had the scars to prove it-and he was laughing. "Wow, you used my first _and_ last name. You really are mad, aren't you?"

"It's not funny!" I roared, but I noticed it lacked the vehemence I had intended.

He pulled me onto his lap and nuzzled his nose against mine. "I'm sorry I scared you. Trust me, being out of commission like that was the last thing I wanted."

I let him hold me. I was sick of being frightened. Jacob was safe. I just wanted to bask in it. But, that didn't mean I didn't have questions.

"What exactly did happen back there? Carlisle says he's never heard of someone fighting Alec's powers. But, you fought him. How?"

He shook his head. "Honestly, I don't even know how to explain it. We were fighting and I was beating the crap out of him. Then all of a sudden everything went dark. It's like I was sucked into a black hole. I could think, but I couldn't see, hear or feel anything. It's like nothing in the world existed but my own mind.

"The whole time I was terrified that something was happening to you; that I wouldn't be able to stop it. And then that fucker restored my sight and my hearing. The things he was saying, the way he was looking at you; I wanted to kill him. But, I couldn't move. I wanted to howl and scream. I hadn't come that far only to lose you like that. I wasn't going to let it happen.

"And then the strangest thing happened. I felt something wash over me." He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "Bells, I can't explain it. Something started to interfere with Alec's hold. It felt like a warm, comforting blanket was draping itself around me. I don't know. It was almost like it was shielding me from the brunt of Alec's control. So, instead of being completely immobile, it was like my entire body had been dosed with Novocain. I could move, but I was numb."

He looked at me. "God, does any of that make sense."

I couldn't think straight. Something Alec said came racing to the forefront of my mind. He had said that there was a reason why I was immune to their abilities; why Edward and Aro couldn't read me and Jane couldn't hurt me. I was a shield, someone who could block other vampires' powers. That's why Aro had so badly wanted to add me to his menagerie. I thought about it some more and I remembered what Edward had told me long ago. He had said that he'd always had a strong inkling into what others were thinking when he'd been a child. He had told me that those powers had intensified when he became a vampire, evolving into mind reading.

I had never shown any inkling that I possessed such an ability. And I wondered why it would have manifested itself back in that throne room. And then I remembered staring at Jacob, frozen in place, wishing that I could protect him; that I could shield him in some way. I gasped. Could it be true? Maybe I wasn't so powerless after all.

"Bells? You okay?"

"Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking about something. Go on. I want to know what else happened." My theories could wait for a later time.

"Well, you know what happened next. I could barely feel my paws, but I attacked him. I could feel him trying to push through that protective force-field surrounding me. But, I was not about to let that happen. He kept hitting me, but I didn't feel a thing. I mean, sure, I felt the impact. But, I didn't feel any pain. So, I kept coming at him, taking every blow, not caring that he was really damaging me. Once he was dead, my body just came alive and honestly, I felt like death walking. I felt everything rushing to heal itself all at once, and I guess my body was just in overload."

That made sense. But, god, how frightening. I wished he didn't have to go through that.

"Carlisle told me that you came up with the plan to get me out of there. What did you do?"

"It wasn't much of a plan," he replied bashfully. "Aro was expecting the Cullens. But, he wasn't expecting me. He figured all the wolves would be back in La Push. He had vampires stationed all over the compound, but they weren't exactly on high alert. I went in, taking the leeches out one by one, clearing a path for our escape. I set each level on fire as I made my way down to the throne room, because Carlisle assured me that there was a way out through the sewers."

I imagined Jacob fighting dozens of vampires on his own, without backup, and I shivered. He held me close and rubbed my arms gently, sending warmth into my limbs. He could've been killed several times over. I was so grateful to have him in my arms.

"What happened to Gianna?" I asked. "We all heard her scream. And then Felix's head came rolling through the door and I guess she kind of got lost in the chaos."

"Yeah, just like Aro." Jacob frowned and I knew what he was thinking.

"Don't you dare," I said.

"What?"

"Don't even think about going after Aro. Carlisle said that as soon as we get home, he'll be in touch with his allies. They'll find Aro and they'll finish him once and for all. I need you with me."

Jacob sighed and kissed me. "I'm not about to go off on a wild goose chase, Bells. Don't worry. No one could tear me away from you."

Convinced that he saw things my way, I repeated my earlier question. "So, what happened to Gianna?"

"Well, it's not like she was my priority. I mean, she was working for those leeches, watching innocent people die on a regular basis. But, she was human, so it's not like I was going to take her out. Anyway, she screamed bloody murder when I burst into the room. I guess it's not every day you see a horse-sized wolf in the building. When Felix came to check on the situation, he threw a desk at me. I moved. Gianna didn't. She was killed instantly. Felix didn't even bat an eye. It's a good thing she died before she realized just how worthless her life really was."

There was a knock at the door and Carlisle popped his head in. "I just wanted to check on my patients," he said.

He carried a tray and a duffle bag in his hands. He had several sandwiches piled high on a plate along with fruit and bottles of water. "I also figured it was time you two had something to eat." He eyed me pointedly.

"I'm doing fine, Doc," Jacob said. "You fixed me up good. Not a mark on me."

Carlisle quickly looked him over then nodded in agreement. "I'm glad," he said. "Well there's not much else for me to do here. I brought your clothes, Jacob." He motioned to the duffel bag on the floor. "It's still a long while before we land in Seattle. Why don't the two of you get some rest?"

Jacob and I dug into the sandwiches. All of a sudden I felt ravenous and ate happily.

"Oh and Bella, I left some pain killers for you."

Convinced that his patients had regained their appetites, Carlisle smiled and left the room.

Jacob and I ate in silence. I took my pain meds gratefully. When we had eaten our full, we took Carlisle's advice and lay down in the bed. We snuggled together; both of us content to be in each other's arms and to forget everything else. I laid my head on his chest and let the steady rhythm of his heartbeat lull me to sleep.

**JPOV:**

I shot straight up in bed, gasping for breath. I clutched my chest where I felt an intense ache. It wasn't pain. My body had fully healed. Physically, I'd never felt better. This was something else. I rubbed my chest, but the ache wouldn't go away. Something was wrong.

Bella still lay curled into my side. She was sleeping peacefully, and I was grateful for that. It told me that my sixth sense had nothing to do with her.

I heard the plane's engines roaring. My ears popped slightly and I felt the beginning of our descent. We would be landing soon. That was good. Now that I had Bella back, I needed to get home…NOW! Something was wrong. I could feel it. And the sooner we got home the sooner I could deal with it; fix it.

I pulled down the sheet and got up quietly so that I wouldn't disturb Bella. I needed to get dressed ASAP. I remembered how frightened she looked when the sheet slipped past my hips earlier. She'd pulled away, looking scared and nervous. We were normally so comfortable together, no matter what we were wearing, or not wearing as the case may be. But, she was really jumpy about it, even though she tried to hide it. I hated that she felt that way. I knew it was because of Alec. Just thinking that fucker's name made me wish he was alive so that I could kill him all over again.

Bella's beautiful, delicate face was covered with brutal bruises. No woman should ever look that way; least of all _my_ woman. And she'd downplayed it all; told me that she was hurt, but that she was already feeling better. For Christ's sake, she had cracked ribs! She wasn't fine. Not by any means. But, she was brave. I kissed her forehead and vowed that I would kiss each and every scratch or bruise on her body.

I got dressed quickly, throwing on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. When I got back in bed, Bella was already stirring. Damn it, I thought. She needed to sleep more. She was in pain. I could see it in her face. She grimaced and moaned with each movement. I wanted to take the pain away. She needed to be at peace, knowing that those fucking leeches would never bother her again.

I wasn't all that concerned with Aro. I had destroyed everything he held dear. Sure, he would want revenge, but I didn't think he was the type to enact it himself. He was used to having minions do the dirty work for him. He'd be pissed, but most likely powerless. Carlisle still had his allies. And I still had the help of four of the major wolf packs in the U.S. Aro could run, but he couldn't hide, at least not for long. His days were numbered. He could fuck himself for all I cared.

"Jake?"

Bella talked in her sleep. Her voice sounded so sad. I hated not knowing what really happened to her. I wasn't stupid. I had the general idea. But I also didn't want to assume too much. And she wouldn't tell me anything. I'm not sure why. Maybe she really couldn't come to terms with it yet. Either way, she was…different; like her spirit had been broken. I wondered if I would ever see her beautiful smile again.

"I'm here, Bells. It's okay. You're safe."

She nodded and slid closer to me. Her eyes were closed, but I could tell she was awake. If she didn't want to talk, that was fine with me. I was happy to have her in my arms, where I knew she would feel safe. At least I could still do that for her.

As soon as the plane landed, Bella and I put on our shoes. I helped her to her feet. She was a little unsteady and she moved stiffly, like her entire body was sore. There was a large Suburban with black tinted windows waiting for us. The moment we set foot on the tarmac, the ache in my chest brought me to my knees.

"Carlisle!" Bella screamed. "I need you."

Carlisle was by my side in a flash, but I waved him off. I staggered to my feet shaking my head. "No, it's not me. I'm fine." I looked at Bella reassuring her that I wasn't the problem. I rubbed my chest and then the realization hit me. The ache I had been feeling was related to the pack bond. I could feel grief and sorrow. The emotions were so strong that I could feel it in my soul even though I hadn't phased. I staggered again. Oh god, no. That could only mean…

"We need to get to La Push, NOW!" I roared.

We were in a public place, so it's not like I could phase right here on the tarmac. Besides, we were hours away from La Push; too far for me to be able to communicate with the pack. I shouldn't even be feeling my pack mates' emotions as it is. And even if I could, I was…afraid. I just wanted to get home and see what was going on for myself. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as it felt. _Maybe_.

No one said anything. We piled into the SUV silently with Edward behind the wheel. We drove through airport security and then Edward floored it, driving like a bat out of hell.

I held Bella's hand, squeezing it reassuringly. I didn't know what we were about to face back on the Rez, but I knew it would be life changing. Bella had already been through so much. I hated that I had to place one more burden at her door.

She leaned into me and wrapped her arms around my waist. I kissed the top of her head. Despite everything, she was trying to comfort me. Her big doe eyes found mine. They were filled with so much love and fear. She was looking to me for answers. But I didn't have any. I shook my head and looked out the window. Bella sighed and laid her head against my chest.

"I'm not getting any visions," Alice whined. "I can't even see Rose, Emmett or Esme. They must still be on the Reservation."

"They're not answering their cells either," Jasper added.

"Here, Jacob." Carlisle handed me his cell phone, which I took gratefully. I tried calling my Dad, then Sam and then everyone else I could think of. No one answered.

The ache in my chest grew stronger the closer we got to La Push. I had never felt anything like it when I wasn't in wolf-form. It's like I could feel the emotions of each pack member. And they were feeling overwhelming grief. But more than that, there was a noticeable void, like someone was missing from the ties that bound us.

I started to shake and Bella held me tighter. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. My worst nightmare was coming true. One of the pack was…I couldn't wrap my head around it. But I couldn't deny what the constant ache meant. I was the Alpha. I had left my pack to save Bella. I had abandoned them when they needed me most. And one of them had paid for that choice with his life. I looked down at Bella lying in my arms and knew that I would've made the same decision over again. There were no regrets where Bella was concerned. But, I would have to live with that guilt for the rest of my life. And I knew my Bells. She would live with that guilt too.

Somehow, Edward made the four hour drive to Forks in just a little over an hour. I told him to head straight to my dad's house which he did. We pulled up onto the gravel drive and Seth came limping out of the front door of my house. I helped Bella out of the car and she threw herself into Seth's arms. She had thought he was dead. I knew she needed that. But, the whole time I was focused on Seth's eyes. And they told me everything. We had lost someone. I just didn't know who.

After Seth and Bella's tearful reunion, he pulled away and Bella latched herself to my side. It's like she knew I'd need her for support. I squeezed her hand again letting her know that I appreciated it.

"Who?" I asked Seth. I didn't have time to beat around the bush.

"Brady."

I leaned back on the Suburban to keep myself from falling to the ground. Brady was…dead. I couldn't even process that. He was just a kid, even younger than Seth.

"Where is everyone?"

Seth swallowed back his tears and said, "Your dad and Sue are at Brady's house with the Council Elders.

The rest of the day was a blur. Seth explained that his house was being used as a triage center for all the wounded wolves. Sue, Leah, Esme and some of the other members of the tribe with first aid experience were helping; but the injuries were overwhelming. Their wounds were healing for the most part, but there were a lot of broken limbs that needed closer attention for them to heal properly. Carlisle took Edward and promised that he would do his best for them. I wasn't worried. I knew they were in good hands.

Brady's house was a whole other story. When Bella and I walked in we were met with a sight that would forever be burned into my brain. Brady's body was laid out on a cot in the living room. His mother held him to her chest, crying and wailing. I refused to cry, though it was hard to hold back the tears. I didn't deserve to cry. This was my fault. And I couldn't exactly explain to a grieving mother that I'd make the same decisions all over again.

We spent hours there. I offered my condolences to Brady's mother and she actually hugged me, thanking me for taking such good care of her son. I felt like such an asshole. Her son wouldn't have died if I'd been protecting him. She even hugged Bella and told her how happy she was to hear that she was home safely. The guilt was overwhelming.

As the hours went by, I could see Bella withdrawing into herself. I was at a loss for what to do until Charlie came in to save the day. The reunion between father and daughter was heart-wrenching. When Charlie offered to take Bella back to my place, she didn't protest. There was no reason for her to stay. I still needed to check on the wolves, but I told her I'd come home as soon as I was done. She just nodded; like she wasn't even there. It felt like I was losing her all over again. I wanted to go with them, but I also didn't want to deny Charlie his time with her. So I let them go.

My dad told me he'd stay with Brady's mom, so I headed off to Seth and Leah's place. The house was a zoo. There were cots set up everywhere. All the bedrooms were filled with wounded men. I shook hands and spoke with each and every wolf, thanking them for their help. All they did was offer me condolences on my loss and expressed their joy that I had recovered my imprint. None of them passed judgment; all of them assuring me that they would've done the same thing had they been in my place. I felt so unworthy.

It was bordering on midnight, and a storm was brewing by the time I got a chance to speak with Carlisle. He, Edward and Esme had taken care of every broken bone, allowing the wolves to heal properly on their own. He told me that he expected everyone to make a full recovery.

I asked about Rosalie and Emmett. Emmett had actually lost his left hand in the battle when it was torn off by another vampire. Alice and Jasper were out scouring the forest for the missing appendage. Emmett wasn't all that sure they'd find it. He figured his hand was probably thrown into the fire with the rest of the vampires. And, in typical Emmett fashion, he was already coming up with jokes about being one-handed. He was even referring to himself as "Emmett, the One-Handed Vampire." I shook my head. Nothing could keep that guy down. I envied that about him, especially now.

I told Carlisle, hell even Edward, how grateful I was for their help. Carlisle promised that he would be on the phone with his friends that very morning, organizing a search party for Aro.

Before he left, Carlisle gave me two pill bottles. "These are for Bella," he said. "One's for the pain. She'll need to take those for the next week, while her ribs heal. The other is a strong sleeping pill. She's going to have a few rough nights ahead of her. These ought to help."

I still hadn't seen Leah and I wanted to talk to her before I went back to Bella. I knocked on her bedroom door. There was no answer.

"Leah, I know you're in there. I want to talk to you."

There was no reply. I banged on the door harder.

"Leah, I know how you're feeling…"

"Fuck off!" she yelled.

I loved Leah, but there was no way I was going to reach her. I took out my cell phone and dialed.

'_Yeah?'_

"Jack, where are you man?"

'_I'm helping everyone get settled back on the Rez. Why?'_

"Get over here now. Leah needs…"

'_I'm on my way,'_ he said, and then the line disconnected.

That's what I liked about Jack. I didn't have to explain anything. He was the only person who could get through to Leah. I knew she was blaming herself for Brady's death. He'd help her through the grief. I hated to admit that I just didn't have the energy to help her myself. I walked away from the door and Leah whispered, "Thank you."

It was time I headed home to Bella.

By the time I got back home I could barely stand. Grief and guilt weighed heavily on my soul. And even the thought of coming home to Bella didn't soothe me like it should. I wanted to take her in my arms and hold her next to me all night. But I wasn't even sure she'd let me. I trudged up the porch steps and took a deep breath. I needed to be strong for Bella, no matter what.

When I came in through the front door, Charlie stood up from his seat at the kitchen table where he was drinking coffee.

"How is she?"

Charlie shook his head. "I'm not sure, Jake. She didn't really talk much. When I asked her what happened she…she just started to cry." Charlie rubbed his face between his hands. His eyes were red and I knew he was trying not to cry himself. "I couldn't do anything for her. All I could do was hold her."

"Where is she?"

"She went into the bathroom about twenty minutes ago to take a shower. I haven't heard a peep out of her since."

"I'll go check on her." If Charlie was able to hold her, maybe she wouldn't have such a hard time with me touching her.

"I'll get going then," Charlie said. He took his cup and washed it out in the sink.

"You don't have to leave."

He shook his head and smiled. "No, you and Bella need to be alone. I may be old, but I get that."

"Thanks, Charlie."

Charlie got his coat and walked towards the door. He stopped in his tracks, turned around and said, "The monster who did that to her…"

"I killed the shit out of him."

Charlie nodded. Then he reached for me and pulled me into a bear hug. "Thank you for bringing my baby girl home," he said. And then he was gone.

I walked down the hallway, past the bathroom where I could hear the water still running. I walked into my bedroom and kicked off my shoes and socks. Barefoot I made my way back and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Bells, honey, are you almost done?"

She didn't answer so I knocked harder. "Bella?" When she still didn't answer, my gut told me that something was wrong. I opened the door and found Bella naked, sitting in the bathtub, hugging herself with her head buried between her knees. She rocked back and forth while taking huge, sobbing breaths.

I instinctively reached for her, which was a terrible idea. The moment I touched her she started to freak out.

"Don't touch me," she screamed. I reached for her again but she clawed and scratched at my arms.

Regrouping, I knelt on the tile and got eye level with her. I spoke in a soothing voice even though I felt just as crazed as she did. "Bells, honey it's me. It's Jacob."

She froze and her big, terror filled eyes looked into mine. "Jake?"

I tried to smile reassuringly, but I barely had the heart for it when I saw all the bruises she'd been hiding from me. There was an angry, red circle around her throat from where that bastard had choked her. Her ribs were black and blue in several places and I knew she needed them wrapped up again. But what killed me, what brought tears to my eyes were the handprint bruises on her breasts and her hips and thighs. I couldn't suppress the growl that wanted to escape. I let my fist fly as I punched a hole through the bathroom door. I roared in anger because the pain was nothing compared to seeing Bella in that state.

Bella took one look at the hole in the wall and retreated to the fetal position, hugging her legs and shivering under the cold spray of the shower.

I took a deep breath knowing that she was scared and vulnerable; easily spooked. My behavior wasn't helping matters. I braced my hands on the lip of the bathtub and leaned towards her. "Honey, I'm sorry about that. Let me take care of you."

Her head was buried between her knees. She was shivering so badly that I could hear her teeth chattering. "Sweetheart?"

She lifted her head up and her eyes were filled with such pleading that it broke my heart. She was giving me permission to come closer. I moved slowly, because I didn't want to spook her. I got into the tub behind her, clothes and all, and sat down. I reached behind me and put the stopper in the drain and shifted the water from the shower head to the tub's faucet. I realized quickly that the water hadn't gone cold at all. Bella had only had the cold water on. Almost as if she was punishing herself. I turned on the hot water and let the tub slowly fill.

I didn't bother taking my clothes off. Wet, chafing jeans and a clinging t-shirt were a small price to pay for Bella's comfort. It was a tight fit with the both of us in the tub. My legs alone took up three-quarters of the space. I opened my legs wide and Bella relaxed slightly, scooting her body until her naked back was pressed against my chest. I stroked her shoulders tentatively until she relaxed against my touch. When I knew she'd be willing, I wrapped my arms around her and held her in my arms, warming her with my body.

The tub filled and I turned off the faucet. After a few minutes in my arms, Bella stopped shivering. Her skin quickly went from nearly blue to bright pink. I rubbed her arms and kissed the top of her head. I nuzzled her ear and she sighed deeply.

We stayed like that for a while. I stroked her wet hair, pulling it out of her face. She laid her cheek against my chest. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to brace myself for what I was about to hear. "Bells," I paused and she tensed slightly in my arms. "Honey, did he…"

I couldn't say it. The evidence was there. Bella had bruises all over her. That mother fucker had touched her; touched her…intimately. Her breasts, stomach and thighs were tainted by his hands. And based on the condition I had found her in, cleaning herself in freezing cold water, he had most likely done worse. I had to come to terms with the fact that Bella had most likely been…raped. I blinked back the tears that wanted to fall. I needed to be strong for Bella. If she was going to be honest and confront what had been done to her, then she would need a strong shoulder to cry on.

I cleared my throat and began again. "Bells, I'm here for you. No matter what, I'm not going anywhere. I just need to know if he…"

"No," she whispered.

For a moment I was filled with joy and relief. But, Bella still had bruises. Maybe Alec hadn't raped her, but she had clearly been violated.

"No," she repeated. "He didn't…he didn't get the chance. But, he almost…"

I hugged her because she had started to shake again. "Shh, it's okay. He's dead. He can't hurt you anymore."

"I could've done more," she whispered, shaking her head. "I should've fought harder." She sobbed uncontrollably. She turned in my arms, clinging to my wet t-shirt and buried her head against my chest. "I let him…I let him touch me. I just lay there. I…"

I held her close. "Don't say that, please," I begged. "You fought him. You have the bruises to prove it. You're my little warrior."

She shook her head. "At first, maybe. But, I gave up hope. I thought you were dead. He had thrown me around, showing me just how weak I was. I couldn't stop him. So when he threw me," she paused, swallowing hard. "When he threw me on that bed," she continued, "I just lay there. I let him…I let him _touch_ me, because I just wanted it to be over with. I was dead anyway. It didn't matter what he did to my body."

I clung to her desperately. I pressed my cheek against the top of her head, trying to hide my tears. I could hear the hopelessness in her voice. Instead of blaming the fucker who'd hurt her, she was blaming herself for not doing more to fend him off. I felt powerless. Bella had been kidnapped, tortured and molested; all on my watch. I was the lowest of the low and she had yet to place any blame where it belonged; right at my feet.

I tried to compose myself, knowing that if I spoke too soon my voice would crack and show her just how raw I was. I cleared my throat and held her gently. "You did what you needed to do to survive, Bells. He was physically stronger than you. He forced you. You did nothing wrong. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You're stronger than him now. You survived. He's ashes."

"I can still feel his hands all over me. It makes me sick just thinking about it. And having you see me like this…I hate that you know what he did, that you probably think less of me because of it."

It felt like I had been kicked in the gut. I wanted to yell and scream at her. How could she think that of me? I fought back the sense of betrayal I felt. Bella was speaking from her pain. She wasn't exactly thinking clearly. Then again, she had a right to think so little of me. I _had_ failed her. I had promised to love her for the rest of my life. If I would've taken her home with me like she'd asked, none of this would've happened. I had allowed some monster to touch her. He had violated her; made her feel as though she had asked for it. He had victimized her and I had only been there to pick up the pieces. I was nowhere to be found to actually stop it from happening.

"Bells," I said, my throat straining with pent up emotion. "I love you. Nothing that bastard has done will ever change that. I know I let you down. I just hope that one day you can forgive me. But, until then, I'm here for you. If you want to scream and rage, then do it. Let it all out honey, because you shouldn't keep it bottled up inside. I've been your crutch before. Use me. Let it all out on me. I'll still love you just as much, if not more when you're done."

She took one look at me and then burst into tears. Her body shook with wracking sobs. "How can you love me?" she cried. "I'm a horrible person. I deserve what Alec did to me. Brady's dead because of me."

Bella trembled in my arms. She was practically hysterical. All I could do was hold her, rock her in my arms, and try to soothe her. "Everything I've done, everything the Volturi did, it all comes down to one choice. We can't blame Edward for leaving me, or even my stupidity for going to Italy in the first place. It all comes back to that day on the cliff."

She looked into my eyes, tears streaming down her face. "It's my fault," she continued breathlessly. "You didn't fail me, Jake. I'm the one who failed you. I should've waited for you. You told me to wait for you; that you would dive with me. But I was so stupid. I was too focused on Edward's abandonment and on trying to ignore the fact that I was already falling in love with you. I went anyway. I chose to jump off that cliff. And everything else that happened after that…is my fault. Brady would still be alive right now; his mother would be able to hug him and kiss him tonight if it weren't for me."

"I don't care what you think, Bells. You are not responsible for Brady's death. Jane killed him. And Leah killed her. He died protecting his people…"

"But the only reason he had to protect his people is because I…"

I cut her off with a kiss on the lips. It was gentle because I wasn't even sure she'd accept it after everything she'd been through. I tried to convey all my love for her and show her how frightened I had been when I thought I'd lost her. I wanted to scream for joy when she kissed me back. But it only lasted a moment before she pulled away.

"Jake."

She didn't need to say anything else. She was vulnerable, hurt and scared. I just needed her to know that I loved her; no matter what.

She crawled onto my lap and allowed me to hold her close. We stayed like that until the water started to cool. I climbed out of the tub, ignoring the fact that my clothes were dripping water all over the bathroom floor. I grabbed a towel and helped Bella up out of the tub. I wrapped her up and held her close, trying to lend her some of my warmth. Of course, the fact that I was soaking wet wasn't exactly helping matters.

I let her go and took off my wet shirt, throwing it into the draining tub. I reached for the fly on my jeans and Bella promptly turned around. I sighed. I wanted to kick myself for making her uncomfortable. And I wanted to kill Alec all over again for making her feel uncomfortable around me.

"I'll be right back," I said.

I ran to my room, tugging off my wet jeans in the hallway. I searched my drawers and found a couple of t-shirts, a pair of boxers and a pair of shorts. I wasn't used to wearing a shirt all that much, especially when I was at home. But, for Bella, I'd do anything. I dressed in one of the t-shirts and shorts and then brought the extra shirt and my boxers for Bella. I remembered the supplies Carlisle had given me, picked those up and made my way back to the bathroom.

Bella was exactly where I had left her, standing in the middle of the bathroom, facing the mirror. She looked shocked and terrified by her own reflection. And she was shivering.

"I brought you something to wear." She jumped at the sound of my voice but then smiled shyly. I handed her the clothes and turned around so that she could get dressed in privacy. I heard her gasp in pain. I spun around and found her clothed, but grasping her side and favoring her shoulder.

"Here, sit down."

I eased her down onto the closed toilet lid. She smiled gratefully, but I could hear that her breaths were shallow. "It's my ribs," she said. "And my shoulder and head are killing me."

I brushed her hair back away from her eyes. "Carlisle gave me some stuff to help you with all that," I said. "Let me just wrap up those ribs for you."

She sat in silence, dutifully holding up her t-shirt so that I could wrap her ribs up tightly. It killed me to see all those bruises on her. I knew she was in pain, but there was nothing she could do but wait for her body to heal.

I finished wrapping her up and murmured, "There you are, good as new." As soon as I'd said it, I wished I could take it back. It was so stupid. As if that one little gesture would make everything all right? But Bella took my chin in her hand and forced me to look at her. She smiled at me, and it was a sweet, genuine smile.

"Thank you, Jake," she said. I sighed in relief, grateful that I hadn't set her off again.

I reached for her and she didn't resist when I took her in my arms and carried her to my bedroom. I laid her down on the bed and tucked her in under the covers.

"Stay right there," I said. "I'm gonna fix you something to eat."

"I'm not really hungry."

I gave her a look that told her I wasn't taking no for an answer. She smiled and nodded. "Stay," I reiterated.

She lounged comfortably in the bed, pulling the covers up close to her face. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. "I'm not going anywhere," she said.

I came back to the bedroom about twenty minutes later carrying a bowl of chicken noodle soup, some water and a couple of pill bottles. Bella had been lying down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. When I came into the room she smiled briefly and tried to sit up. Her sore ribs were making it difficult.

I set everything down on the nightstand and helped her into a sitting position. I plumped the pillows behind her so that she could sit back and relax. "Thank you," she whispered. I smiled.

"That's what I'm here for."

I handed her the soup and she inhaled gratefully. "Mmm, it smells good."

"I'm glad. There weren't many options. If you want something else I can…"

"I don't need anything else."

I sat down on the bed while she ate. When she was halfway through she asked, "Aren't you going to eat anything?"

"I'm not really hungry."

She looked at me like I'd lost my mind.

"I ate at Brady's mom's house."

Bella nodded and continued eating. I didn't know why I'd lied. I hadn't eaten anything since the plane. There was a ton of food at Brady's house. There's always food when someone dies. But, I just couldn't bring myself to eat anything. And after seeing and hearing what really happened to Bella, I just couldn't stomach anything.

Thunder rumbled off in the distance. A light drizzle started and in minutes it had turned into a torrential downpour. Bella finished her food and stared out the window, watching the rain slide down the window pane.

"That's how I feel," she said.

"What?"

She turned to me with a grim smile on her face. "The rain," she continued. "It feels like my tears, like they're so overwhelming and I'll never be able to stop. They might flood the earth."

She looked so down, so full of despair. "Well, it's a good thing we can swim," I said.

My attempt at humor seemed to do the trick. Bella tore her eyes away from the window and smiled at me. I wanted to kiss her, hold her. But, I knew she wasn't really ready for all that.

I handed Bella the glass of water and took out the pills Carlisle gave me. "Here," I said.

"What are these for?"

"One of them is for the pain and the other one is to help you sleep."

Bella looked at the pills and thought about it a moment before she tossed them both back and swallowed them down in one large gulp. I was relieved. I thought she might fight me on the sleeping pill. But Carlisle thought, and I agreed, that she'd been through such a traumatic experience that she needed to shut down her body for a while so that her mind could process everything she'd been through. I didn't think she'd be able to have a sound sleep on her own. And clearly, she didn't think she would either.

I got up to clear the dishes when she grabbed my arm in a vise-like grip. "Don't leave me," she said.

"I'm not going anywhere, Bells. This is where I belong."

She nodded gratefully. "Hold me, at least until I fall asleep."

I kissed her forehead and crawled onto the bed. I wrapped my arm around her gently, mindful of her sore ribs, and pulled her against my chest. I held her happily, gratefully, because I had thought I'd never get the chance again. I buried my nose in her neck, inhaling her scent. The wolf within tried to let out a growl; one of possession. She was mine and she was in my arms. Everything was as it should be. But I held the growl in. Nothing was as it should be. My Bella felt as though she was damaged, possibly beyond repair. And I felt helpless to do anything about it.

We lay like that for some time. Bella's breaths deepened and I figured she'd finally fallen asleep. So I was shocked when she spoke.

"I don't want to be weak anymore," she said. Her voice trembled and I knew she was fighting back the tears. I held her closer and murmured in her ear.

"You're not weak."

"Yes, I am!" she cried. "I'm sick of always being the victim. I feel like he…I feel like Alec's taken everything from me."

"Please don't say that, honey. You can't let the memory of what he did to you define you. You are strong. You have to fight. You've survived everything they've thrown at you. You can survive this too."

She turned in my arms so that we lay there chest to chest. Her eyes were red with tears. "You're the reason I survived before," she said. "It was never me. I'm too weak."

"That's how it works though, doesn't it? We all can't be strong all the time. Sometimes we need someone to lean on, to share the burden with. You're not weak just because you sometimes need someone else's strength to survive. Besides, I need you when I'm weak."

Bella made a mocking sound. "Please, when have you ever been weak and needed me for strength?"

I caressed her face and looked into her eyes. "When we were in Volterra," I answered. "I've never felt more helpless in my life. Alec reduced me to…well nothing. I was so lost. And then he opened my eyes and I saw you there. I saw what he was going to do to you. I tried, Bells. I tried with everything I am to move, to stop him before he could get to you. But I was too weak. I didn't have the strength. But you did."

"What are you talking about? I didn't do anything. I know you think…"

"Bells, I know you did something. I felt your love for me. I felt your need to protect me. You gave me something to fight for. I didn't think I had anything left. But, you made me strong. You're the reason we were both able to walk out of there alive. I'd be lost without you."

"I love you," she purred. She tucked her body against mine and closed her eyes. Within minutes she was asleep.

I held her while the storm raged outside, but I couldn't shield her from the storm raging in my heart. I untangled myself from her slowly, so I wouldn't disturb her. I quietly got out of bed and headed outside.

I walked through the back yard towards the forest. I had no plans of going far. Quil and Jared were patrolling tonight, but even so, I wasn't about to leave Bella unguarded. I kept my house within sight at all times.

But, I was breaking up inside. Images of Bella flashed through my mind. I saw her despair in Volterra and the complete and utter shock when she saw me burst through those doors. I saw each and every bruise on her snow white skin and imagined how they'd gotten there. That bastard had violated her…he'd _touched_ her. Tearing him apart, piece by piece with my bare hands hadn't been nearly as satisfying as it should've been.

Before I knew it, my fist flew into the nearest tree. A loud crack sounded but it was covered up by thunder and lightning. I checked my hand and it was already healed, the blood washing away with the pouring rain. So I hit it again…and again…and again. My fists flew until the tree toppled to the ground. I screamed in frustration, but the sounds of the storm muted my cries.

I sank to my knees in the cold, wet mud. Tears and rain mixed and spilled down my face. I wished I could take Bella's pain away. She was so beautiful, so full of life. And to see her now, it was like looking at a shell of who she was.

I shook my head and got to my feet. No, I wouldn't let myself wallow like this. I'd told Bella that she was strong, and it wasn't a lie. She _was_ strong. She loved me and she wanted to live. She just needed to heal. And I would give her all the strength she needed to do it.

I walked back into the house, dried off and got back into bed so that I could hold Bella close. I never wanted to let her go.

"Jake?" she stirred and mumbled in her sleep. I kissed her and squeezed her body gently. "I'm here," I said. "You're gonna be okay, Bells. It's gonna be okay."

**A/N: Well, in case you guys haven't noticed, this is a full-blown chapter posted with only 1 month of waiting! How's that for service, huh? I can't promise to write that quickly all the time, and I know for some of you, it's not quick enough. But, I just wanted you all to know that it's important that I finish this story. So, I'm going to keep working hard on it so that you guys get the ending you've been hoping for. Anyway, please review and let me know what you think.**


	47. Chapter 47

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do not.**

**A/N: I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. You guys are amazing. **

**CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN **

**JPOV:**

"_You're gonna be okay, Bells. It's gonna be okay."_

I had said those words to Bella that first night home, when she lay in my arms wondering if she'd ever be the same again. I meant them at the time. But, I was starting to think that nothing was going to be okay ever again.

That first week back was hell. Bella's body was a mass of bruises and broken bones. She was also mentally and physically exhausted. After that first night, Carlisle checked on her and recommended that she take stronger pain medication and sleeping pills. He thought it best that she remain partially sedated to allow her mind and body to heal. It spoke to Bella's state of mind that she didn't argue with him. In fact, she agreed whole-heartedly.

She stayed with me and only managed to stay awake for a few hours each day. It was just enough for her to eat to keep up her strength. We didn't talk much, though I stayed by her side whenever I could. The medication was pretty strong, so that even if she did talk, her words were slurred. But, during those few lucid moments, she would mumble, "I don't want to be weak, Jake. I'm not going to be weak anymore." Other than that, she slept the hours and days away. She missed Brady's funeral as a result.

I had never needed her more than at Brady's funeral. His mother was a sobbing mess. She hugged me and thanked me for always being there to watch out for her son. I felt like such a fraud. I hadn't been there for him when he needed me most. I guess it was appropriate that there was a torrential downpour at the cemetery that day. Tears blended seamlessly with raindrops on everyone's faces. The guilt was crippling, but I knew that I needed to be strong for my friends and family; and especially for Bella.

After that first week, Carlisle took Bella off of the stronger pain meds and recommended that she scale back on the sleeping pills. He felt she was strong enough to begin the process of healing on her own. The swelling had finally gone down, but she was still covered in dark bruises. It would take a while for the bruises to fade from her pale skin. Her ribs were still wrapped up tight. Nothing to be done about that. They would heal in time. Aside from the obvious, Carlisle said she was in good enough health, but that she should take it easy for a while.

Bella disagreed with that recommendation.

Once Carlisle gave the go ahead, Bella turned into a whirlwind of activity. She never mentioned Brady, and she certainly didn't mention her time in Volterra. In fact, other than her initial break down in the shower, she didn't talk about what happened to her. She acted like nothing was wrong; pretended she wasn't covered in bruises and healing from broken bones.

Charlie allowed Bella to stay with me in La Push. In light of everything that had happened, we all felt safer knowing she was close to me. I loved having her near me, but despite her reassurances to the contrary, I knew Bella was on edge.

It became obvious that Bella wanted nothing to do with the Cullens. She didn't allow any of the leeches to visit except for Carlisle, and that was only because he was a doctor. She'd smile politely when he showed up, but the smile never reached her eyes. She'd flinch whenever he touched her during the examination and the moment he removed his hand, she'd shiver with a look of disgust on her face. She didn't say anything, but I knew that his cold skin brought back too many horrible memories for her. She was having a hard time differentiating _good_ leeches from _bad_ leeches.

After that first week, I took to sleeping on the couch to give Bella some space. She didn't ask me to do it, but I could tell that she was relieved when I offered. She brushed it off saying that she was still healing and she didn't want to bump into me while she slept and injure herself further. But, I knew that wasn't the whole truth. She just didn't want to be touched, by anyone. And considering what she'd been through, I couldn't exactly blame her for it. I loved her. It wouldn't kill me to give her the space she needed.

The nightmares started the first night she was off the meds. I was startled awake by the sound of screaming coming from my bedroom. I jumped up off the couch and ran down the hall to Bella. Rachel peeked out of her room looking worried. But I waved her off.

I burst into my bedroom to find Bella tangled in the sheets. Her skin was damp with sweat. Her brow was furrowed and her hands fisted the comforter in a death grip. I ran to her, cradling her against my chest. I brushed her wet hair from her face. "Shhhh, Bells. It's me. You're okay. You're safe now." Her subconscious mind must have recognized me because she instantly stilled in my arms. She took a few calming breaths before opening her eyes. I expected to see fear, but instead, she looked embarrassed.

"Sorry about that," she said. "Must have been a bad dream," she added lamely.

She gracefully pulled herself out of my arms and scooted towards the middle of the bed. I tried not to show how much that hurt, but if I was being honest, it had felt like a dagger to the heart.

"You're safe now." I told her.

She smiled at me. "I know, Jake. Thank you." She turned onto her side, her back facing me. And just like that, I had been dismissed.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She laughed nervously. "God, no," she said. "It was just a silly dream. Good night."

And that was the end of that. Except, the nightmares didn't stop. They were a nightly occurrence. Every night I went into my room to find her in the same state, screaming and tossing and turning. She'd wake up looking embarrassed and then she'd thank me for checking up on her. Sometimes she'd even give me a squeeze on the arm and a timid smile in reassurance. But, she refused to talk about it. She acted like the dreams were no big deal.

And then real life started getting in the way. I wasn't around as much as I would've liked. I had missed two weeks of school and I had to catch up on a lot of work. Luckily my professors understood my absence when I explained that I had had a death in the family. They allowed me time to make up my late work. It was so overwhelming that at first, I wanted to take incompletes on all my classes. I mean, I would much rather spend all my time with Bella. But, finishing school was just as much for her as it was for me. I had failed in protecting her from Alec. I would be damned if I would disappoint her and postpone school which would ultimately postpone our plans for the future.

Of course, on top of school, I still had my job, not to mention pack business to attend to. I felt like I was being pulled in twenty different directions. And the stress was starting to get to me. Normally, I would be able to take comfort in Bella, to lay my burden down so we could both work through it together. But more and more, I felt like I was on my own.

The pack felt broken. Everyone had healed physically from the battle. But we were all damaged on the inside. We had lost one of our own; our brother. And to add insult to injury, Leah had taken off to God knows where with Jack. She told me before she left, so at least she didn't just disappear on us. But, the girl wasn't in good shape. My gut told me she wouldn't be with our pack for much longer. And the loss of another wolf would be hard to handle. Morale was beyond low.

The other packs left shortly after Brady's funeral. They had their families to get back to. I couldn't thank them enough for all their help with the Volturi. I would be eternally grateful to them for helping to protect our people when I couldn't.

Needless to say, I was busy with my responsibilities. But, nothing was more important to me than Bella. She was my top priority. I would come home for lunch as often as I could to spend time with her. And assuming I didn't have patrol, I'd spend my entire evenings with her. She had my dad and Rachel around during the day to keep her company. And of course, Charlie stopped by daily to check on her. Bella said all the right things, reassuring everyone that she was fine. But, it became painfully obvious that the situation was far from ideal.

I came home from work one night only to have Rachel stop me at the front door.

"Hey little bro, you need to talk to your girlfriend."

I leaned back against the door and closed my eyes letting out a huge sigh. Every day I was hoping that Bella would snap out of it; that she would open up and talk to me about what was going on. Instead, she walked around like she was Teflon, like nothing could stick to her. I thought maybe if she wouldn't open up to me, she would talk to someone else.

"What happened?"

Rachel's eyes bugged out and she gestured behind her. "Look around, Jake."

I took in the living room and kitchen and then it was my turn for my eyes to bug out. The place was spotless. Billy, Rachel and I weren't slobs by any means, but I had never seen the house this clean. Even the couch sparkled.

"Paul and I came back from lunch and we found her cleaning up a storm. She was on her hands and knees, scrubbing and cleaning like her life depended on it."

I ran my hand over the back of my neck. "Rach, Bella cleans when she's nervous or upset. It just gives her something to do."

Rachel sighed and looked at me with pity. "I get that, Jake. But, her ribs are still healing. Carlisle told her to take it easy. And," she bit her lip, cutting herself off before she could finish.

"Just spill it."

"You didn't see her eyes. She looked manic. I know she's trying to be strong and act like nothing's wrong, but she's losing it. My god, she tried to make my bed when Paul was still in it!"

I threw my hands up. "Alright, I don't need to hear anymore. I'll talk to her."

"I'm worried about her," she said. "I'm worried about both of you."

She wasn't the only one.

I walked into my bedroom to find Bella curled up on my bed reading a book. I longed for the days when I would enter a room and she'd jump up and throw herself into my arms. Instead, I got a sweet smile and a "Hey." It wasn't ideal, but I'd take whatever I could until she was ready for more.

"Hey," I said back. "So, Rachel tells me you were on one heck of a cleaning spree today."

"Oh my god," she said, throwing her book to the floor. "Is she complaining about that Paul thing? If your sister wants to live like a slob, then let her. I was just trying to help."

"I know you were. But, you know you don't have to do that, right? I mean, we can clean up after ourselves. You're not our maid."

"I know that. But, the place could use some sprucing up, and I had the time, so I figured why not."

"Bells, honey, you're still recovering from your injuries. Your ribs haven't fully healed. Carlisle told you to take it easy."

Her eyes narrowed and I couldn't help but think I'd pushed her too far. "So what, you don't think I can handle a little cleaning? It's no big deal. I'm fine. Besides, you have way too much to worry about with school and everything to worry about little old me and my cleaning habits."

"Honey, you're the only thing I worry about."

She got defensive right away. "You don't have to worry about me. I'm fine. And, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I don't need someone to rescue me from household chores. Now, if you don't mind, I kind of want to finish this chapter before dinner."

She leaned back against the pillows with her book in hand. I saw her wince for the briefest of seconds when she fluffed the cushions behind her. Clearly her cleaning marathon had taken a toll on her physically, but she refused to acknowledge it.

I admired her commitment to show strength, I really did. But, I knew she was barely holding it together inside. I wanted so badly for her to lean on me like she always used to. I never thought of her as weak. She was the strongest person I knew. But, nothing I said would convince her of that. She needed to feel it, believe it of herself.

"Bells, please talk to me. You can tell me anything. I'm here for you."

She smiled kindly and said, "I know, Jake." And then she went back to her book.

Over the next couple of weeks, Bella found another outlet for her pain. Cooking. She pulled out various cookbooks and studied them like they were text books. I felt bad for her. I knew how much she missed school and there was no way she could enroll until the spring semester was over. So if she wasn't cleaning, she was reading up on complicated and elaborate recipes and cooking up a storm.

When Spring Break hit I felt like a load had been lifted from my shoulders. I had caught up with all my school work and the body shop didn't need my help. For a whole week I could relax at home and be with Bella. She still had so much to work through. I didn't want to push her or pressure her. I was sure that she'd come back around in her own time. I just wanted to be there for her in case she needed me.

She had shown some signs of improvement. I heard her humming a few times when she was cooking. In fact, she's the one who suggested that the pack gather for an Easter meal. It was a morale boosting affair. Emily and Sam offered to host and the entire pack gathered, including Charlie and Sue.

I hoped that interacting with Emily and Kim would help her feel more comfortable. Under normal circumstances, Bella would confide everything in me. But, in light of what had been done to her, maybe the fact that I was a guy was what was keeping her distant. We weren't sharing a bed and she shied away from any contact that I initiated. I had to walk on eggshells around her. But, every once in a while she would hug me or give me a peck on the cheek. It wasn't filled with the same passion she normally showed. But, the love was there. And that love would tide me over until I had my Bella back.

The day started out okay. Bella nearly put Emily to shame with the amount of cooking she did. She just didn't interact much with anyone. She greeted everyone who said hello, but she quickly returned to her cooking.

The mood was somber until Quil and Embry started bickering over the remote control. It was something so normal. I egged them on because I thought a little light fun would help cheer everyone up. Embry ended up chasing Quil, remote control in hand, all around the house. Everyone was screaming and hollering, cheering them on. I think even Paul and Jared were placing bets on how long it would take for Embry to tackle Quil to the ground.

The chase made it into the kitchen. Emily and Sam looked on with smiles on their faces. For the briefest of moments, we could forget about all the pain and just enjoy the simple things. Quil ran past Bella who was checking the oven. Embry followed yelling at Quil. It was harmless fun, at least until Bella started to lose it.

"Stop it!" She screamed. "You're going to ruin my soufflé!"

She opened the oven, looked inside and slapped her hand down hard on the countertop. "Damn it!"

She reached into the oven with her oven mitts and pulled out her dish. I wasn't sure exactly what a soufflé was, but the fact that the center of it looked flat and sunken in was probably not what she was going for. "It's ruined," she cried.

Quil and Embry stopped in their tracks the moment Bella started yelling. Everyone was looking at her like she'd lost her mind. She looked like she was on the verge of tears.

"Bells, honey it's okay. I'll help you make another one."

I placed my hand on her shoulder to reassure her. "Don't touch me!" She screamed, with terror in her voice. She was so startled by my touch that she dropped the dish on the floor and fell back against the counter. I tried to reach for her again but she waved me off.

"God, Jake, you scared me. I didn't realize that was you. You wolves really do sneak up on people." She tried to shake it off with a laugh, like she hadn't just freaked the fuck out that I touched her. She looked embarrassed, but none of that hid the pure fear I had seen in her eyes the second my hand made contact with her.

She got a towel and moved to clean up the mess, but Emily knelt in front of her and took the towel. "Don't worry about it, Bella. I'll take care of it. Why don't you relax for a little bit. You've been cooking all day."

Bella hugged herself, briefly reminding me of how frail she was when she first brought those battered motorcycles to my door. She seemed to realize that though because the next second she dropped her hands, stood up tall and tilted her chin up. "Thanks, Emily. I am kind of tired."

I followed Bella into the living room, ignoring the faces of my friends and family. They were just as shocked by Bella's behavior as I was. But worse than that, they looked at me with pity. And that was harder to take than a punch to the gut.

I tried talking to Bella about what happened in the kitchen. I hated that I was the one to put that fear in her eyes. But she brushed me off. Instead, she walked into the living room, plopped herself on the couch and picked up a game remote. She ended up playing a game with Seth who just shrugged apologetically when I glared at him. But it's not like Bella talked to Seth. In fact, she didn't say much to anyone over dinner.

She was silent on the drive home except for when she said she was exhausted. That I could believe considering how much work she had put into Easter dinner. But, it didn't change the fact that we really needed to talk about what happened. As soon as the front door was open she gave me a quick smile and said, "Good night, Jake." As much as I wanted to talk, I couldn't bear to look into those big, sad eyes and deny her anything. She was tired. Our talk could wait until the morning. Or at least that's what I thought.

The next morning Bella was up early, which was unusual for her since she'd come home. She asked to borrow my car so she could drive to Charlie's house. I thought she might be having a breakthrough, considering she mostly stayed at my place or went with me when I would visit people. She rarely opted to go out by herself. I gladly gave her my keys and we agreed that I would pick her up around dinner time.

When I got to Charlie's house, I had no idea that I would be walking into a warzone. The house smelled wonderful thanks to the roast cooking away in the oven. But, that's not what really caught my attention. Bella was on her hands and knees in the kitchen with rubber gloves on, scrubbing away at a spot on the linoleum that had been there since the dawn of time.

Charlie looked pleadingly at me while Sue was in the kitchen trying to talk to Bella.

"Bella, sweetheart, you need to stop. That stain is permanent. God knows I've tried to clean it up myself."

Bella gave Sue the meanest glare and my heart nearly stopped.

"If you don't mind, Sue, I'm really busy."

Sue tried again. "Bella, you've already done so much. You've cleaned this whole house from top to bottom and made dinner. You really don't need to do this."

"Well maybe I wouldn't need to if you did," Bella snapped.

Sue gasped and Charlie went to her side protectively. "Bella!"

Bella stood up and threw her gloves to the floor. "What?" She glared at Charlie. "I'm gone for a few months and Sue just moves in and makes herself at home? You say you want me to come home, but there's no room for me in this house anymore! Screw this! I know where I'm not wanted."

She brushed past Sue and Charlie and stormed out of the kitchen. On the way to the front door she said, "Come on, Jake. Let's get out of here."

_What the fuck was that? _Bella was a sweet girl. Even on her worst days she cared about people's feelings. She had completely gone nuts on Sue and Charlie for no reason. Her fuse was getting shorter and shorter. It was painfully clear that things weren't going to work themselves out. I had been trying to give Bella time, but nothing was changing. If she kept this up, she was going to alienate everyone. And that's exactly what she didn't need.

Charlie hugged Sue to his chest. It broke my heart to see that she was crying. "Son," he said. "This can't go on anymore."

I ran my hand through my hair and nodded. "Charlie, I think you need to call Renee. Have her fly out on the next available flight. We've tried everything else. I have a feeling that Bella might just need her mother."

Charlie nodded in agreement and I met Bella in the car. She sat in the passenger seat, arms crossed over her chest defiantly. I started the car and she said, "I don't want to talk about it." That was fine with me. I didn't want to be driving when we had the conversation I wanted to have.

When we got to my place I followed her into my bedroom. She whirled on me. "I can't believe what just happened!"

"I was about to say the same thing."

"I know, right? The way Sue went off on me…"

"Bells, that's not what I meant. All this pent up anger isn't healthy. You keep cleaning and cooking like a maniac. But you're not really dealing with what happened. You need to talk to someone. And since you can't seem to talk to me, I think you need to talk to a professional."

"Oh, so now I'm crazy? God, I should've known you'd turn on me just like everyone else."

"No one is turning on you," I tried to reassure her. "We just want you to deal with how you're really feeling. You're burying it all so deep down inside, but it just keeps exploding out of you."

"God, what happened, Jake? I was molested and nearly raped by a psychotic vampire! You nearly died in my arms and Brady actually is dead! It happened. There's not a god damned thing I can do to change it. I'm dealing alright! I'm not gonna let anyone else walk all over me. Never again!"

"Bells, no one is trying to walk all over you. We all love you. You keep putting up this front like we're the enemy. We're not. You're snapping and yelling at the people who love you the most. This isn't you."

Bella sat on the bed, her eyes cast down. "Yeah, well maybe I've changed."

I knelt on the floor in front of her. "We all grow and change based on our experiences, Bells. But deep down, we're always who we were. Something horrible was done to you and I hate that it's killed your spirit." I placed my hands on her knees and she jumped back at the touch. "You can't even bear the thought of me or anyone else touching you."

She scooted back on the bed. "God, Jake, just because I don't want to jump your bones every minute there must be something wrong with me? In light of what I've been through I can't believe how callous you're being."

I stood up and stepped back away from the bed knowing that she needed some physical space. She looked like a cornered animal and I hated that I was the one to make her feel that way. "Have I ever once pressured you or made you feel like I needed more from you physically?" I asked.

"Well, what if I never want to…what if I can't be with you that way again?"

There was that knife to the heart I was getting so used to feeling lately. "Bells, I love you. No matter what. If you finally deal with things, and you decide that you can't be with me, then my broken heart will still love you until the day I die."

I turned to walk away. I felt like such a pussy but I was about to start balling like a little girl and I didn't think Bella needed to see me like that.

"Jake?"

I paused at the door, my body frozen in place by the pain and longing I heard in her voice. My Bells was in there somewhere. But, I now knew that I'd never see her again unless Bella really worked through her feelings instead of burying them under the stone wall she'd erected around her heart. I turned back around and met her eyes.

"Honey, sometimes being strong means knowing when to ask for help. We're all here for you. We all love you. We just want you to get better."

"Jake…I love you. That's never changed."

"I love you too, Bells."

"I…I wish I could be with you…like that." She looked at the bed longingly, almost desperately. "But, I just can't."

I swallowed hard. "Like I said, I love you. None of that matters. All that matters is that you're happy, mentally and emotionally. I know you don't want to be weak. And I admire how brave you've been. But, you've got to let down some of those walls and really deal with everything."

I didn't wait to see her reaction I just told her good night and shut the door behind me. She stayed in my room the rest of the night. I wasn't surprised. I hoped our talk would resonate with her. But even if it did, I wasn't expecting a complete transformation immediately. All I knew was that I was done being so passive about it. I wanted to give Bella the time she needed to figure things out. But, it had already been a month, and in many ways she was worse than when we first brought her home.

I wanted to kill Alec all over again. That mother fucker got off way too easily. It was so hard to contain the rage I felt whenever I thought of what he did to Bella. And to hear her be so blasé about what happened to her, like she was reading off a grocery list, just killed me.

If bringing Renee out didn't help Bella work through her feelings, then I was going to take it to a physical level. Hell, the night she came home I had destroyed a freaking tree in my anger. Maybe Bella needed a physical release too. I'd talk to her about it when she woke up. With that new plan in mind I grabbed my blanket and pillow and made myself comfortable on the couch. I fell asleep completely oblivious to the fact that it was only six in the evening, and I never did eat dinner.

I woke up the next morning to the sound of my cell phone ringing. It was Charlie. Renee and Phil took the red eye over and he and Sue were already bringing them back from the airport. He told me to gather as many people as possible so that we could all assemble in the living room to present a united front. It sounded like we were about to stage an intervention.

I checked in on Bella and was happy to see that she was still sleeping. But, based on the furrow between her brows, I wasn't sure how long that would last. I closed the door softly behind me and quickly woke up the rest of the house, filling them in on what we had planned.

An hour later and everyone was in place. We wanted to present a united front, but we also didn't want to overwhelm Bella. Billy and Rachel were there to support me, along with Sam and Emily. And then of course, Charlie and Sue arrived with a very confused and pissed off looking Renee and Phil in tow.

Renee stepped right up to me, all five foot nothing of her. She glared up into my eyes and for a second there I was actually afraid. She poked me in the chest. "What the hell is going on around here? Why hasn't my daughter answered my calls for a month? And why, up until yesterday have I heard nothing from her father or you for that matter?" Her voice was getting louder and louder and I began to see where Bella got her temper. "But what I really want to know," she continued in a deadly tone, "is why no one, not one of you had the decency to tell me that my own daughter was attacked."

I looked to Charlie who simply shrugged as though defeated. "I had to tell her something," he said.

Renee turned her angry glare on her ex-husband. "I'll deal with you later, Charlie."

All the commotion must have woken up Bella because she walked into the kitchen all sleepy-eyed and her hair in a tangled mess. "What's with all the yelling?"

She took in the crowd assembled and gasped. She looked at me and my heart nearly broke at the sense of betrayal she must have felt. I was always on her side. But, I could see from her point of view that it looked like we were all against her.

"Oh," she shook her head emphatically. "Fuck this!" She ran right back to my bedroom and slammed the door shut. I sighed. This wasn't going the way we had planned.

Renee took a moment to collect herself after watching her only daughter storm out of the room without so much as a hello, and then she glared at all of us. "What the hell is going on here? What the hell happened to my daughter?"

"She was attacked," Charlie said lamely.

"Why was she attacked? Who did this to my baby?" Tears welled up in her eyes but she stubbornly wiped them away. She turned her heated glare onto Charlie. "And you," she added with venom in her voice. "Why didn't you protect her? I trusted you to keep my baby safe. First the incident in Phoenix and now this! Why haven't you found the ones responsible?"

Charlie visibly staggered under the weight of Renee's accusation. It was hard to watch. Everyone blamed themselves for what happened to Bella. We all felt guilty that we couldn't protect her when she needed us most. I would live with that guilt for the rest of my life. But, ultimately I knew that the real blame lay with the bastard who touched Bella, and with the vampires in Volterra.

I caught my father's attention from across the room. One look and he understood what I wanted to do; what needed to be done. He was the Chief and I was the Pack Alpha. We needed to be on the same page for this. Sam opened his mouth to argue, but one look from me and it closed with a loud snap. I turned my attention back to Renee.

"It's not Charlie's fault," I said. "And Renee, you may want to sit down for this."

I told them everything. I went against hundreds of years of tradition and broke the treaty. I didn't really give a fuck at that point. I didn't think The Cullens would really call me on it anyway. I was sick of all the secrets and the lies. Renee was in pain. She had no idea what had been done to her daughter. And I believed that living in the dark was worse than knowing the awful truth.

Renee and Phil listened with rapped attention. Their mouths fell open at the mention of werewolves and vampires. Renee clasped Phil's hand, squeezing until her nails dug into his skin when I detailed the events in Volterra. When I was finished, I buried my head in my hands, hating the fact that I had to relive every hateful moment. Billy and Charlie looked similarly affected.

The room was quiet for several minutes. No one said a word. When I finally looked up, Renee and Phil were in a state of shock. "This is ridiculous," Renee whispered. "I mean vampires and werewolves. What the hell is going on here? What has my daughter gotten herself into?" She pointed at Charlie. "How could you let this happen to her?"

Phil found his voice and together the two of them started screaming and yelling, threatening to get the FBI involved if they had to. They demanded that we allow them to take Bella home with them and threatened to claim we were holding her daughter against her will. They were hysterical. And I knew that all the screaming and yelling would just upset Bella more.

I saw red. I couldn't bear the thought of Bella being taken away from me. She needed me, now more than ever. I told Renee and Phil everything so that they would understand what we were really dealing with. I didn't expect them to accept everything right away, but they were so upset that I was afraid they would make good on their threats. So, I did the first thing that came to mind.

I walked across the kitchen, opened a drawer and pulled out the biggest knife we owned. Phil jumped from his seat and pulled Renee behind him. "What the hell are you doing?" he roared.

I held out my hand and sliced my palm with the blade. Renee, Phil and even Charlie screamed in terror. Billy just shook his head. Blood welled immediately. But, I didn't feel any pain. I just stood there waiting to prove my point. Renee put her anger aside and jumped into action. She grabbed a kitchen towel and wrapped it around my bleeding hand.

"What's the matter with you, Jacob?" she cried frantically. "Charlie, call 911!"

Charlie got out his cell. "No," I said. "Don't."

Charlie paused, unsure. Renee was insistent. "Jacob, you're hurt. We need to…"

She gasped in shock when she pulled the towel away from my hand. It was red from all the blood, but when she took a closer look she saw only a thin pink line, as though I'd had a scar there for years. The towel fell to the floor.

"Jesus Christ." Charlie was just as shocked as his ex-wife. I'd shown him my wolf form. He knew I was supernaturally strong. But, he'd never witnessed my accelerated healing abilities first hand.

"That's not possible." Renee looked like she was about to faint.

I put the knife down and showed the room my palm. The pink line had already faded to white. The mark would be completely gone in a matter of hours. "It's all true, Renee. Unfortunately, all of it is true."

Renee shook her head. "No, no, no. My poor baby." She ran towards my bedroom. I was hot on her heels. Bella sat on my bed, hugging her knees to her chest, tears streaming down her face. She had heard every word said in the kitchen. And she had just relived the whole ordeal. I moved to go to her, but Renee placed her hand on my chest to hold me back. She just shook her head and approached the bed slowly.

Renee climbed onto the bed with open arms and Bella instantly threw herself into the loving embrace. Renee held her only daughter to her chest, kissing the top of her head and smoothing her hair. And Bella cried. She shook with sobs that wracked her body. The stone she had built around her heart was crumbling. The dam had broken and her tears flooded from her eyes. It was the most beautiful and most heartbreaking thing I'd ever seen. I fell to my knees, tears spilling down my own face.

I settled on the floor with my back against the bed. My head fell back against the mattress and I closed my eyes. Renee whispered soothing words to Bella. But she let her cry. It was a private moment between mother and daughter, but I couldn't bring myself to leave. I didn't want to leave Bella when she was at her most vulnerable. And after a few minutes, I felt a gentle tug on my hair. I turned around to find Bella's tear-stained eyes seeking mine. She clung to her mother with one arm, but reached for me with the other. I clasped her tiny hand in mine and she responded with a gentle squeeze.

I don't know how long the three of us sat there. All I knew was that for the first time in a month, I finally had hope.

**BPOV:**

_I was trapped. His hard body pressed me deeper into the mattress. His hands were like vises on my wrists. No matter how hard I struggled, no matter how loudly I screamed, it was useless. My fate had been determined years ago. There was no turning back; no escape._

_I looked up into the eyes of my nightmares. Blood-red and lifeless. I never knew true evil until I had first looked into those eyes. My jailer, my murderer, my destiny._

_Alec's eyes were filled with lust and anticipation. How long had he been waiting for this moment? I was bruised and broken. His fingers tightened around my wrists, the pressure building, sending more tears down my face. _

_I begged and pleaded with him to stop, but he just laughed in my face. My clothes were torn from my body. I was naked and vulnerable. Alec's eyes darted over my body, violating me with every look._

"_You're mine," he said. "You're going to help me rule the world. And I'm going to make sure we destroy everyone you've ever loved, starting with your dog." And with that, he thrust into me and pierced the delicate skin of my neck with his teeth. _

_I screamed in agony. His thrusts were so violent I thought I would break in half. But, it was the venom that caused the most pain. My veins were on fire. I was burning; burning from the inside out. I cried and screamed; screamed until the inside of my throat was torn and raw. The fire was too much; it was too much._

"_Someone, please help me!" I screamed. But no one could hear me._

"Bells!" That voice. That voice was always there after one of my dreams. It was a voice like warm honey; soothing to its core.

"Bells, wake up. You're safe. I'm here."

I sat up in bed and took in my surroundings. I was in Jacob's bed. In fact, he was on the floor watching me with nervous eyes, my hand clasped in his. And that's when it all came back to me.

My mother had come. And by the voices in the kitchen I could tell that she was still here. I had felt so lost for so long, and yet, one look from my mother and I had fallen apart like a child. And then there was that nightmare, the same one that had been haunting me since I returned from Volterra.

Jacob was right. I hadn't been dealing with my feelings. I'd been burying them, only I hadn't been doing that great of a job.

"Jake?" He squeezed my hand in his. "I need help."

He let out a tearful laugh and kissed my hand. And I didn't flinch for a second at his touch. "Yeah, Bells," he said. "Anything you need."

"Will you hold me?" I asked timidly. After the way I'd been acting, I wouldn't blame him for refusing. Instead, I was rewarded with his mile-wide smile that always set my heart racing.

"I thought you'd never ask." And with that, he climbed up onto the bed next to me and wrapped me in his strong arms. And I was home again.

There was no quick fix to healing. It was a process and it took time. But Jacob had given me the biggest gift in the form of my mother. He seemed to know that there were some wounds that only a mother could heal. And as usual, he was right. One look into my mother's warm, loving eyes and I was a kid again, crying in the park over a skinned knee. I knew she would have that effect on me. Hell, that's why I had been avoiding her for weeks. I thought she would make me feel weak. And I needed to be stronger than that.

I had it stuck in my head that the only way to be strong was to keep everyone at arm's length and pour all my energy into mindless activities like cooking and cleaning. I didn't want to wallow in my pain. I had done that before and I didn't like the person I became when Edward left. I was a sniveling, whimpering fool. I didn't want to put the people I loved through that again. So, I went to the opposite end of the spectrum and walked around acting like I wasn't affected; like I didn't have nightly dreams about the monster who tried to rape me.

I was still in shock that Jacob had told Renee and Phil everything. I had always considered it an impossibility that they would be granted access to the supernatural world into which I fell. They knew exactly what had been done to me. They now knew that monsters existed. In a way, I hated that they would now be living in fear of vampires. But ultimately I was glad they knew because I felt like a huge load had been lifted off my shoulders.

My mother and I had always been close. At one point I would've said we were best friends. All that changed when I moved to Forks and got involved with Edward. I had been initiated into a supernatural world that existed beside our own. And she couldn't know about it. If I was going to keep her safe, I needed to keep her separate. But, in doing so, I had cut myself off from one of the main sources of love and understanding in my life.

To say she was pissed would be an understatement. I was glad I didn't have to lie anymore, but the fallout was just beginning. My mother wasn't going to let me off easy just because of what had happened to me. She was going to hold me accountable for shutting her out of my life. I had lied to her every single time I spoke to her over the past two years. It had been necessary to keep the many secrets I harbored. I thought I was keeping her safe. I already had a target on my head. I didn't want The Volturi to go after my parents as well. But, based on what Alec told me in that bedroom, we had all been naïve. My parents would've suffered from my choices eventually. And they would have paid with their lives. So in reality, keeping her separate, keeping my distance was all for nothing. My mother loved me unconditionally. She always would. But it didn't change the fact that she felt hurt and betrayed. It was yet another relationship I needed to work on.

I tried making amends with Charlie and Sue, but they graciously waved off all attempts. They told me they loved me and that they understood. That was the problem though; I didn't fully understand what was going on with me. I couldn't make sense of what I was feeling. Everyone wanted me to get help. And I finally agreed with them.

I went to my first counseling session that following Monday. Sure, I couldn't tell my therapist about the supernatural aspects of my life. I didn't need to be committed on top of everything else. But, I didn't need to tell the doctor about vampires and werewolves. Sadly, I wasn't the only person who was ever kidnapped and molested, or felt responsible for the death of a dear friend. Aside from the involvement of vampires and werewolves, my problems were pretty human. And I was glad I had finally realized that I needed someone to help me navigate the dark waters of my recover; someone that wouldn't judge and someone who could handle it if I lashed out inappropriately.

Renee and Phil stayed in town for a while. They said it was because they missed spending so much time with me. But I knew they were worried. They knew how crazy I'd behaved before the therapy sessions began. I think they wanted to make sure I stayed on the path of recovery without danger of a relapse before they finally left.

But after a few weeks, it was time to let go. I hated to see my mom go, but I knew that she and Phil needed to return to their life in Jacksonville. It was enough that my mother came when I needed her; that the flaky woman who raised me was actually strong and dependable.

The only thing that marred the beauty of her visit was the residual anger she felt towards Charlie. I felt terrible. I assured my mother that Charlie only found out the previous summer. She chewed me out for that, but ultimately she forgave me. I wasn't so sure things would be amicable between her and Charlie for a while. She was pissed that he'd kept so much from her and wouldn't accept that it was my fault. "He's a parent," she told me. "He should've known better."

After my mom went back home I concentrated all my efforts on my therapy and in fixing my relationship with Jacob. I hated the way I had treated him. Sure, none of it was intentional, but that fact didn't make me feel any better. There I was, wallowing in my own pain and shutting him out when he was dealing with some serious issues of his own. Brady was dead. And I hadn't been there for Jacob to help him through his grief.

So, when I wasn't talking to my therapist, I was talking to Jacob. We took long walks on the beach and through the woods and we talked about everything. I was able to fill him in on my progress and really talk out what I had been going through. He understood when I told him how violated and dirty I felt after what happened with Alec. I still wasn't comfortable with the idea of physical intimacy. But, Jacob now knew exactly where I was coming from and he promised that we would work through it together.

These talks did more than just help me. They really helped Jacob as well. He was finally able to talk about his grief over Brady. He carried a heavy burden as the Alpha. As his mate, I should have been there to help ease that burden. Instead, I had created more worry for him. I couldn't change the past, but I could try to make up for lost time. I just hated that all the crap I was going through had affected Jacob the way it did. It was yet another thing to hate Alec for.

I had a lot of anger to work through. I was angry that months of my life were stolen from me when I was on the run from the Volturi. I hated that I was found and kidnapped in the first place. I was angry that I had been a pawn in Aro's schemes and machinations for power. I hated that I had been given like chattel to Alec for him to use as he would. I had felt so weak and helpless. But more importantly, I hated that someone so young and full of life like Brady had to die. His life was snuffed out while Aro had survived, and was still out there in the world hiding from his enemies.

My doctor helped me see that there were some things I couldn't change, but that it was how I reacted to those things that mattered. She suggested several ways for me to channel that anger and rage, one of those being physical activity. When I mentioned that to Jacob, his eyes lit up.

Jacob picked me up from my session the next day and I could tell something was up. He looked really excited about something, but when I asked what it was he just said, "You'll see." I liked that he was so pleased with himself. Normally I would've been dying of curiosity. But, I was in no mood to press the issue. I had a particularly draining therapy session and I wasn't exactly in a playful mood.

We pulled into the familiar gravel driveway. I got out of the car and headed towards the house only to have Jacob stop me and steer me towards the garage.

"Jake, what are you doing?"

"I want to show you something."

I sighed. I was so emotionally drained. "Can't it wait?"

He shook his head. "You'll love it. I promise."

I couldn't resist his eager expression. So I followed him into the garage only to find that it had been completely transformed.

All of Jacob's tools had been organized so that they now only took up a small space in the corner. In the middle of the garage, hanging from a sturdy chain in the ceiling was a large punching bag. There was also a weight bench resting against the far wall and on it were a couple pairs of sparring gloves.

"What's this?" I asked, amazed by the transformation.

Jacob's smile was huge. "It's not much. I mean, I didn't have enough time to get it exactly the way I wanted it. But, I got the most important stuff."

He grabbed the smaller gloves, which also happened to be neon pink, and started to help me into them. He gestured around the room, "This is for you," he said. "Your doc said you should channel some of your anger into physical activity. So, I figured we could kill two birds with one stone. You can work off some of that rage while I train you in self-defense. What do you say?"

_What do I say_, I thought. I wanted to cry. Jacob was always thinking of others, me especially. He knew I needed something, and he went the extra mile to make it happen. I willed the happy tears away and raised my gloved fists.

"Let's do this."

Jacob was a great trainer. I had learned some self-defense moves from Seth when we'd been on the run together. But those lessons were nothing compared to these. Jacob was relentless. He pushed me beyond my physical limits. When my arms felt like lead weights, he coaxed me into throwing a few more punches. Some days I worked so hard I literally ended up in tears. I'd sit there sweating from every pore and cry my eyes out while Jacob held me and rubbed my back soothingly. Half the time I didn't even know what I was crying about. After I'd cry myself out, we'd go back to the house, get cleaned up and Jacob and Rachel would make dinner for us. I always felt so happy and refreshed after days like that.

The physical training increased when my therapy sessions got more intense. I felt physically stronger which meant that Jacob pushed me that much harder. We progressed from sparring to grappling. I loved how empowered these sessions made me feel and I asked Jacob not to pull any punches, so to speak. He was happy to oblige.

One day, I had a particularly hard therapy session and I really wanted to lay into Jacob. He was more than willing to go toe to toe with me, especially since he knew how good I felt when we were done.

I got in a good hit and he taunted me, "Is that all you got, Bells?"

He was pissing me off on purpose, but I refused to lose focus. I landed a hard kick to his leg, but he just shook it off.

"Come on honey, little Claire kicks harder than that!"

That's it, I thought. I charged him feinting first left then right and landed two hard punches to his stomach. I then hooked my leg around his and yanked with all of might. He was surprised. That's the only reason he lost his balance. And because my leg was still hooked around his, and I was still klutzy Bella Swan, I was going to go down with him.

We were falling. Nothing was going to stop that. But Jacob was fast. As we fell, he shifted us so that he took the brunt of the impact. I landed on top of him in an uncoordinated tangled mess. I was breathless and sweaty. But, he looked up into my eyes with so much love and admiration that he nearly melted my heart.

"That was so bad ass," he said, smiling wide. I smiled in return, proud of myself for not giving up.

His warm hand caressed my cheek. His eyes focused on my lips. I could feel his hardness beneath me. He leaned forward. Our lips were an inch apart. All I had to do was meet him halfway and we'd be kissing. But, it wouldn't be the chaste kissing we'd been doing up until that point. This would be passion unleashed. I wanted to give in and kiss him so badly. Hell, a part of me _needed_ to. But, I didn't. There was an awkward silence and then Jacob helped me to my feet and brushed himself off.

"Where were we?" he said without missing a beat. And I loved him even more for it. I wasn't ready…yet. But I knew I would be soon.

The hardest part of therapy was dealing with my survivor's guilt. And as a result, we agreed to tackle that subject last. The fact remained that Brady was dead and I felt responsible. No, I didn't take his life. That blame resided with Jane and she was killed in payment. But, I couldn't help but dwell on the fact that my stupid choices brought the wrath of The Volturi on the people I loved.

My therapist pointed out that had I not made the choices I did, I wouldn't have Jacob in my life. She knew how important, how vital to my existence he was. She asked me, if I could change one thing, but it meant losing Jacob from my life, would I do it? It was a no brainer. I wouldn't change a thing if it meant losing Jacob. He was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

I had to learn that we're only responsible for our own choices. Sure, decisions we make can sometimes have a snowball effect. But that doesn't change the fact that those who are affected have their own choices to make, their own crossroads. Jane chose to kill Brady. And instead of honoring his life, I had been wallowing in pain and guilt. It was long overdue for me to pay my respects to the dead.

I told Jacob what I planned to do and he offered to take me. I declined, telling him that it was something I needed to do on my own. So, I left his house and walked in the direction of the Reservation's cemetery. I found Brady's grave easily enough. There were fresh flowers and several sets of large paw prints marking the ground around it. Brady was not forgotten. The wolves visited their fallen brother while on patrol. It brought tears to my eyes.

I'm not sure how long I sat there. For a while, I just closed my eyes and felt the sunshine on my face and smelled the salty breeze coming in off the ocean, things that Brady would never feel again. No, I shook my head. I couldn't think that way. It led to blame and if I kept blaming myself for Brady's death, I would never go on with my life.

The Volturi killed Brady. His life had been snuffed out in tragic circumstances. I could blame myself for his death all I wanted, but it didn't change the fact that Aro and his cohorts were evil. They would still be killing innocents today if it weren't for the packs and the Cullens working together to take them out. Yes, Aro was still out there somewhere. But, his empire had been destroyed. Brady died doing what he was born to do. And if I didn't start living, I would be making a mockery of his sacrifice.

So I started talking to Brady. When I felt as though I had finally gotten everything off my chest, I placed my hand on his grave marker and said good-bye. I walked out of the cemetery with a sense of closure, feeling lighter than I had in months. I would continue to mourn Brady's death. But I now knew that really living was the only true way to honor the dead. I had heard somewhere that dying was easy, but living, for those left behind, that was the hard part. I needed to be strong and I needed to live; to not take any moment for granted. So from that day forward, I decided that that's exactly what I was going to do.

As I made my way out of the cemetery I was pleasantly surprised to find Jacob waiting for me. He was leaning against his Rabbit, making it look so tiny in comparison to his large body. He gave me a tentative smile which widened as I ran into his arms.

"I know you wanted to be alone to talk to him, but I figured you could use a little company about now."

I hugged him fiercely because he was right. I had made my peace with Brady, and I was happy that I had done it on my own. But, the experience had left me a little drained and Jacob, as always, knew exactly what I needed.

"Get in the car," he said. "I want to take you somewhere."

We drove for about ten minutes. He held my hand the entire time. I was so happy to be with him that I didn't even notice where he had taken us until he pulled over and parked.

"Do you trust me?" he asked.

We both knew the answer to that question, so I got out of the car and followed him. We walked hand in hand for about a mile until we came up to the cliffs. I sighed and took a deep breath, inhaling the briny air. The infamous cliffs.

Jacob squeezed my hand. "This is where it all kind of started. Isn't it?"

He looked out over the water. The wind whipped his hair across his face. I would've given anything to be able to read his mind at that moment. His eyes were so distant, his gaze thoughtful. So much that had happened between us, began right here, at this very spot.

"I haven't been back here since that day."

He nodded. I stepped closer to the edge, confident that Jacob would prevent me from falling if I slipped. I stared down at the crashing waves beneath us. It was a bright, clear day. So different from the day I had jumped nearly to my death, filled with despair.

"I was such an idiot," I whispered. We were impossibly high up. I had jumped in the middle of a storm. It was a miracle that I had survived. I looked at Jacob again and revised that thought. No, it was because of him that I survived. It was easy to forget how close to death I had actually been. Events seemed to have spiraled downward into chaos after that. But the fact remained. Jacob had to perform CPR to bring me back. It had been _that_ close.

"I'm so sorry," I began. But Jacob kissed me, cutting off my apology. He pulled away and looked into my eyes.

"I didn't bring you here to make you feel guilty, Bells. You promised me that you'd jump with me one day. You didn't wait for me then. But, I'm here for you now. I think it's something we should do. I think it's important."

I stared down into the water. Surprisingly, I wasn't afraid. How could I be with Jacob there to protect me? I knew he would keep me safe. He wouldn't have suggested the jump otherwise. After all, hadn't I just decided that I wasn't going to take my life for granted anymore? If I was going to truly live, then it meant embracing my fears and never letting them stop me. I wasn't afraid of the height. I was nervous about what this jump represented.

My life was coming full circle. So many things had changed as a result of my first jump. I almost died. And after that, I had invited the Volturi into my life. And we all knew how badly that turned out. I was forever scarred from my experiences. I could lock myself away in my room and cry about it, bemoaning my fate. Or, I could do what Jacob suggested we do. I could take a leap of faith, face my fears and start anew.

"Let's do it," I said. The moment the choice was made I felt excited and invigorated. It was a hell of a jump. The first time I'd done it I had been depressed and I hadn't even cared if I survived. I felt so differently now. I had made it through the darkness and had a bright future ahead of me. I was alive. It was time to embrace that fact and everything that came with it.

"Are you sure?" Jacob was offering me a way out, but I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was excited about what we were about to do.

"What do you think?" I kicked off my shoes, pulled off my socks and started to strip down to my underwear. Jacob laughed and started to undress as well. Our clothes sat in a pile at our feet when Jacob reached for me. He held me in his arms and pressed a sweet kiss to the top of my head.

"You know I won't let anything happen to you, right?"

"I know I'm safe with you," I replied. Our gazes met and I was floored by the depth of love I saw reflected back at me. I pulled his head down until our lips met. I kissed him like I hadn't kissed him in months. I poured out all my love and passion into that kiss, and he moaned in response.

He pulled away and graced me with his mile-wide smile. He clasped my hand in his. "Whatever you do, do _not_ let go of my hand. I'll keep you safe. On the count of three…"

We took a few steps back and on the count of three we took a running start and then jumped. The sensation of falling was exhilarating, especially since I felt the reassuring warmth of Jacob's hand in my own. I heard myself screaming, but it wasn't out of fear. I screamed because of the excitement, the joy I felt at that moment. And I didn't stop screaming until we hit the water.

Despite the beautiful day, the water was cold. I'm not sure how far down we sank, but I didn't even have the chance to panic before I felt Jacob tugging me up towards the surface. I broke the surface of the water gasping for breath. Jacob pulled me close. "I've got you," he said.

I threw my head back and started laughing. We floated on the cresting waves and I felt truly weightless. I felt as though I had been baptized, reborn. All the sins of my past had been washed away. I had been given a clean slate. For the first time in months I felt pure joy and elation. This was what it felt like to truly be alive. Jacob must have sensed the change in me because he was laughing too.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. I only pulled away when we started to sink. Jacob laughed and led me towards the shore. His powerful kicks brought us to the beach in no time. We stumbled onto the sand gasping and laughing.

The beach was small and luckily for us, there was no one else there. It wasn't the most popular beach on the Reservation due to its close proximity to the rocks. I was grateful for that since I was only in my underwear.

I was riding a high when Jacob's laughter abruptly stopped. His eyes were focused on me and they burned with a fire so intense I felt my insides melt. I followed his gaze and looked down no longer surprised by the heat in his glance. My sensible, white cotton bra and panty set was looking X-rated seeing as how the material was now soaked and completely see-through.

Jacob cleared his throat and quickly averted his eyes. "I'll um…wait here and…um I'll get our clothes."

I couldn't believe it. Jacob was actually blushing. He started to walk away. "Jake!" I called out to him and he stopped in his tracks. He was dripping wet, his underwear clinging tightly to his thighs and highlighting the thickness of his erection. He tried to cover himself with his hands and I couldn't help but giggle.

He was uncomfortable around my near nudity and it made me love him that much more. We hadn't been intimate since my encounter with Alec. At first, I had felt too damaged to even feel desire. In the past few weeks we had kissed here and there and shared warm embraces. We shared the same bed, but all he did was hold me. It was nice. Slowly but surely, I had been feeling my desire for him growing. Our intense sparring sessions probably helped a lot with that.

He couldn't hide the fact that he wanted me. But he was respecting the boundaries I had subconsciously erected and he didn't want to be the one to cross them, at least not unless he was invited.

"Jake, come here."

He watched me a moment before complying. When he was inches from me he ran his hand nervously through his hair. "Sorry about that, Bells."

I shook my head. "Nothing to apologize for." I grabbed his hand and said, "Touch me."

His eyes widened. When he still didn't make a move I stepped into him, pulled him down for a kiss and placed his hand on my breast. He groaned and I shivered. He tried to pull his hand away, but I held him in place.

"I want you," I whispered. And it wasn't until that moment that I realized just how much I missed the intimate part of our relationship. For a while I had thought I was damaged beyond repair. But I wasn't. That jump from the cliff had awakened more than my lust for life.

The last time I had been touched this way was by a maniacal, evil bastard. I didn't want the taint of his touch on my skin anymore. I wanted to feel the warmth of Jacob's touch and remember that lust could also be a beautiful thing.

I pulled Jacob's head down and kissed him again. This time I slipped my tongue past his lips and he groaned, pulling me close in acquiescence. He kissed me with all the pent up passion he'd been holding back for weeks. His hands roamed my body freely and I melted into his embrace.

I ended up on my back, lying in the sand. Jacob settled between my legs, his weight supported on his forearms which framed my face. He smiled sheepishly. "I never wanted to pressure you," he said.

"You didn't. I want you, Jacob. I _need_ you."

"That's all I needed to hear."

We made love on the beach that day for the first time in months. It felt like I had finally reclaimed all of myself. Jacob drove me back to his place and we couldn't keep the smiles off of our faces.

I felt whole. I was loved. And most importantly, I was alive and ready to face whatever the future would bring.


End file.
